- 13 minutes ago
The End Of Sex [Full Movie] [Full Episodes]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:10You
00:00:19Mommy
00:00:24What's on your face don
00:00:27Makeup. I want to look nice for the first day. Dad. Yeah. I made sandwiches for the bus
00:00:34Do you think I put too much ketchup? What? No, there's no such thing as too much ketchup. You know
00:00:40that
00:00:42It's my car. Yay waffles are ready
00:00:48We could keep them with us for the week. I mean we lose the money but
00:00:52We can't have this conversation again because the bus is coming in an hour
00:00:56Just a week. Kappa's good remember? Kappa's good. Kappa's good. Kappa's good
00:01:04And you got some t-shirts? Yeah
00:01:07I think yeah
00:01:08Good, good, good, good. Yes
00:01:11Yes
00:01:12You've got everything. I have everything. I already checked
00:01:15Okay, I know. You're doing great
00:01:20Undies? Undies? I'm wearing them
00:01:23Grace. What?
00:01:26No, seriously what?
00:01:29But only taking one pair?
00:01:31Yeah, I only have one but
00:01:33I mean you're eight
00:01:35Yeah, but 14% of girls get their periods by the age of 10
00:01:40See?
00:01:41What is in here?
00:01:43Well, not that much
00:01:48And the youngest recorded case of a girl giving birth was a five-year-old
00:01:52Wait, we're not done talking
00:01:55In Peru in 1938
00:01:59Let's just take the whole box in
00:02:02And girls, it is totally normal to feel homesick at camp, okay?
00:02:08So, when you're away from your family, it can be hard
00:02:11So, look, if you get that feeling in your chest and it kind of overwhelms you
00:02:15It's fine. You just take a moment and you think of a happy memory
00:02:19Something that we all did together as a family
00:02:21And when that happens, you'll feel better
00:02:24Are you crying?
00:02:27No, I'm not
00:02:28Of course I am not crying
00:02:30I'm a grown-up
00:02:31It's okay to cry though, just so you know, crying is totally fine
00:02:35Good, uh, pep talk
00:02:36Thanks
00:02:41Don't worry, you're not there for long, right?
00:02:43Hey, it's only seven days
00:02:44What's seven days, right?
00:02:45Seven days is nothing
00:02:46We have seven gnomes
00:02:47Seven gnomes for seven days
00:02:48We'll camp down the days for gnome
00:02:49Don't worry, it's gonna go by quick, okay?
00:02:52Take care of Danny
00:02:53This is the camp where you met mommy
00:02:54Yeah, a long time ago
00:02:56Our husband's been here
00:02:57You'll meet your husband there, okay?
00:02:59You're gonna meet your husband
00:03:00So you won't have the same husband
00:03:01That's illegal
00:03:03Okay, I love you so much
00:03:04I love you, bye
00:03:05Bye
00:03:10You're weak
00:03:11Fly right by
00:03:13Oh god
00:03:14Okay
00:03:16It's uh
00:03:17Camp is good
00:03:18Camp is good
00:03:18Camp is good
00:03:19Camp is good
00:03:19You know, it's not too late for me to
00:03:22Throw my body in front of the moving bus
00:03:24And stop this craziness right here
00:03:26It's good for them
00:03:27We done good
00:03:42So, what do we do now?
00:03:48I literally have no idea
00:03:51I mean, we could drive to the gymnastics studio
00:03:53And just sit in the parents' waiting area
00:03:57Yeah, I don't know
00:03:58It's comforting
00:03:59It's that sound
00:04:00We could go for brunch
00:04:00We used to like brunch
00:04:01Yeah, definitely
00:04:03Oh
00:04:04We could go see a matinee
00:04:05Yeah
00:04:06Yeah
00:04:06When was the last time we went to see a matinee?
00:04:08Do they still have matinees?
00:04:09Is that still even a thing?
00:04:10Probably not
00:04:15We could make some sex
00:04:19Oh yeah, let's totally make some sex
00:04:21We could make some sex
00:04:21Yeah, this is great
00:04:24Ha ha
00:04:25Found him
00:04:28Wait, hold on
00:04:29Whoa
00:04:30We don't have to close the door
00:04:32We can be as loud as we want
00:04:34Yeah
00:04:36Oh, I am going to be so loud
00:04:39Ha ha
00:04:47Oh, oh, I am sorry
00:04:49I used to like when I had the extra pain in
00:04:51No, no, I do it
00:04:52I do it, I do it
00:04:53Okay
00:05:03You good?
00:05:04Yeah
00:05:10Oh my God
00:05:12Oh my God
00:05:16Oh, sorry, too much teeth
00:05:18No, no, no, no, no
00:05:19No, no, no, no
00:05:21I just
00:05:22I focus
00:05:23I sleep
00:05:24I'm good
00:05:29Do you want to just
00:05:41Do you want to do it?
00:05:46Oh my God
00:05:48Oh my God, I think
00:05:49Ellie, I'm coming
00:05:53Oh, me too
00:05:54I'm coming right inside you
00:05:57Oh my God
00:06:17Testicles
00:06:18Yup, they're balls
00:06:21It's
00:06:22It's the least attractive part of the male anatomy
00:06:25Yeah, and that's saying a lot
00:06:28I think this is the longest I've ever stared at a pair of these
00:06:32Do you know, I'm very uncomfortable
00:06:34Emma?
00:06:35Emma Michaels?
00:06:36Oh my God
00:06:37Martin
00:06:38Oh my God
00:06:39Oh my God
00:06:40I can't believe it's Emma Michaels
00:06:42Oh my...
00:06:43I had like the biggest crush on you in art school
00:06:45Wow, well you still have that thing where you just say things
00:06:49What?
00:06:50Without a filter
00:06:51No, I don't
00:06:52I didn't do that, did I?
00:06:53You just did, you just did it
00:06:54When you said you had a crush on you
00:06:57Oh no, it was a major crush
00:06:57I kept a journal about it
00:06:58You just did it again
00:06:59Oh no, I had photos
00:07:00In a special binder
00:07:01How the hell are you?
00:07:03I'm good, I'm fine
00:07:05I'm great
00:07:06Yeah, you married?
00:07:07Kids?
00:07:08All of the above
00:07:09Yeah, I married Josh actually
00:07:11Oh my God
00:07:12You married your boyfriend from camp
00:07:14Wow, that's so...
00:07:16Adorable
00:07:16Uh...
00:07:17I mean we...
00:07:18Well we broke up
00:07:19On and off
00:07:20Right
00:07:20You know, played the field
00:07:22Before we...
00:07:23Settled down
00:07:24And now...
00:07:24Now we have two beautiful little girls
00:07:27Let me show you their Halloween
00:07:28Oh no, no, no, no, no
00:07:29That's okay, no
00:07:30People without kids are always pretending they care to see photos of other people's kids
00:07:33But really we're just being polite
00:07:37Ah, no... no filter
00:07:39Yeah
00:07:40Oh my God
00:07:41So...
00:07:42Is this your gallon?
00:07:43Oh yeah, it's all mine
00:07:45Um...
00:07:46Yeah, I finally realized that I was far better suited to appreciate the work of others than to produce anything
00:07:50of value myself
00:07:51Um...
00:07:52Like these bad boys right here
00:07:54What do you think of these testicles?
00:08:10Like...
00:08:11Really?
00:08:12No
00:08:14Emma, what do you think?
00:08:16Honestly?
00:08:17Yeah
00:08:17I mean...
00:08:20No one really wants to look at balls
00:08:31Oh my God
00:08:33You're right
00:08:37Balls are...
00:08:39Totally gross
00:08:41Jacques
00:08:42Yeah, can you...
00:08:43Can you take this one down?
00:08:44No
00:08:44And uh...
00:08:45And those two
00:08:47And um...
00:08:50Yeah, and that one...
00:08:51Over there
00:08:52You're kidding
00:08:53No, my apologies
00:08:56I...
00:08:56Oh my God, you're crazy
00:08:59Oh my God
00:09:01Oh my God
00:09:03Sorry
00:09:04Wendy
00:09:07My name is Wendy
00:09:09Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry
00:09:13Um... Wendy, this is Marlin, we went to art school together
00:09:16Yeah
00:09:17Wendy and I are teaching this winter break art camp for at-risk youth just at the rec center down
00:09:25the street
00:09:25The kids are amazing
00:09:28This one girl, Aisha, has more talent at 15 than I like ever had
00:09:35She like blows my mind every day
00:09:37Wow
00:09:37Well I would love to come and see her work
00:09:39Yeah, you should
00:09:40Yeah
00:09:40Come by anytime
00:09:41That would give me an excuse to come see you
00:09:45I can't believe you're married
00:09:46I mean, I used to fantasize about having a bubble bath with you
00:09:49Oh, that's very specific
00:09:50Well, not naked though
00:09:51I mean, you're wearing a green bikini
00:09:53Always green for some reason
00:09:55You're doing it again
00:09:56Oh, right
00:09:57Sorry
00:09:58Oh, no
00:09:59Yes?
00:10:14Yeah
00:10:14I don't know, it seems a little, um, unnecessarily sexualized
00:10:20Huh?
00:10:22How so?
00:10:24Um, well, you can pretty much see her nipple there and, um, she's filleting a banana
00:10:33And your problem with this is?
00:10:37Well, it's, it's an ad for, for fruit
00:10:40Yeah, this is what the client wants
00:10:42Okay, have we tried to, like, gently steer the client in another direction?
00:10:51Yeah, we're gonna stick with a general approach of giving the client what they want, okay?
00:10:55Yeah, you're the packaging editor, Josh
00:10:57Just focus on editing the package
00:11:06Hey, good meeting?
00:11:11Ah, anybody here hates me
00:11:15Not me, I find you...amusing
00:11:17Kelly, what do you think of that ad right there?
00:11:19Uh, that reminds me of Gary's penis
00:11:21Look, Gary, that's the married guy
00:11:24Mm-hmm
00:11:24And, and, and his penis looks like a banana?
00:11:27Yeah, like that one
00:11:28The one on the right
00:11:31So, how often would you say you and Emma are having an orgasm?
00:11:34A, once a day, B, twice a day, C, three times a day, or D, you're constantly in an orgasmic
00:11:41fog
00:11:42Uh, oral counts and anal counts
00:11:45Well, anal definitely counts
00:11:47So, don't spare any details, I'm not squeamish
00:11:49Wait, the, the, those are the options?
00:11:52I mean, the minimum in there is, is once a day?
00:11:56Yeah, why?
00:11:58Nothing, it's just, you know, when you're married for ten years
00:12:01Uh, when you, no, see, this is exactly what I've been trying to tell you
00:12:04This monogamy is just created by a patriarchal society that totally suppresses any sexual promiscuity
00:12:10It is bullshit
00:12:11So, what? Like, once a week?
00:12:16Yeah, I mean, that sounds about right, yeah
00:12:18Are you kidding?
00:12:20What?
00:12:20Dude!
00:12:22I was kidding, you have, you have sex once a week?
00:12:25Why are you suddenly so interested in my sex life?
00:12:27Oh, don't be such a narcissist, I'm interested in everybody's sex life, especially married people
00:12:32Okay
00:12:33Wait, so this is, this is research for your, for your affair with Gary, is that?
00:12:39Forget it, I'm gonna figure it out myself
00:12:42Oh my god, what do these people want from me?
00:12:47Hello, Kelly speaking
00:12:49Oh no
00:13:07Bye-bye
00:13:10Hello, Kelly
00:13:46So you've gone back to layering color over text.
00:13:51But this time, some of the text is illegible.
00:13:56It's interesting choices, Aisha.
00:13:59Thanks.
00:14:00So, of all your work, is there one that you'd like to try and finish?
00:14:08No thanks.
00:14:10No.
00:14:11Then they'd just be...closed.
00:14:14They'd be like...dead.
00:14:21Okay, that's it for today.
00:14:23I'll see you tomorrow.
00:14:25Everyone grab your folders on the way out.
00:14:28Aisha, this is great work.
00:14:31This is really special.
00:14:33No one else seems to think so.
00:14:36Do you care what they think?
00:14:38Trust me, they're jealous.
00:14:50Marvlyn, what are you doing here?
00:14:52You invited me to see your students work.
00:14:55And I came, even though the term at-risk youth makes me very uncomfortable.
00:14:59Okay, well, um, you're safe because they're all gone.
00:15:04I'm just going to get my stuff in the staff room.
00:15:10Whoa, what have we here?
00:15:12Oh, that's Aisha.
00:15:14That's the student I was telling you about.
00:15:16Well, you weren't kidding.
00:15:16These are terrific.
00:15:17I love the half-finished aesthetic.
00:15:20I know, right?
00:15:21She's amazing.
00:15:23You're amazing.
00:15:26That was weird.
00:15:27Yeah.
00:15:28No, this whole thing's weird.
00:15:29It's weird that I came down here.
00:15:31I should really get back to the gallery.
00:15:33You should come see me there sometime.
00:15:34It wouldn't be as...
00:15:35Weird?
00:15:36Yeah.
00:15:38Um, yeah.
00:15:40I'll come sometime.
00:15:43Just stop by.
00:15:44Okay.
00:15:45Okay.
00:15:49Okay, I should leave because I have an erection.
00:15:52Oh, okay.
00:15:53But don't worry, it might not be from the hug.
00:15:54It could be from senior students' great work.
00:15:57It's probably a little of both.
00:15:59But mostly from the hug.
00:16:00Bye.
00:16:20I have judo in 20 minutes.
00:16:23What?
00:16:25What are you thinking about?
00:16:31Not on the list.
00:16:32Not on the list.
00:16:33Not on the list, not.
00:16:33Every time you call me a little bitch, it loses impact.
00:16:38I don't even hear it anymore.
00:16:39It literally has no effect on me.
00:16:41Oh, yeah?
00:16:42How the fucktard?
00:16:42Is that better?
00:16:43What about OCD?
00:16:45Control freak ass?
00:16:46Oh, shit tits!
00:16:47Oh, my God.
00:16:48You do know I can smell your breath from here, right?
00:16:51What did you eat today?
00:16:52Was it somebody's ass?
00:16:54Did you eat someone's ass for lunch?
00:16:57Goddamn.
00:16:58Hey.
00:16:59Oh, my gosh.
00:17:00It's Andrew and Janice.
00:17:01Hey, Josh.
00:17:02I want to finish your thought for Josh and Emma.
00:17:05You were saying something about my shit tits.
00:17:08Oh, we're good.
00:17:09Yeah, no, I think we're fine.
00:17:10Okay.
00:17:11So, guys, how's it going?
00:17:15We're separating.
00:17:17Janice is moving out tomorrow.
00:17:19I'm sorry.
00:17:19Yeah.
00:17:20So, well, why-
00:17:22Why are we separating?
00:17:23Oh, where to begin?
00:17:24Well, you could start with the lies.
00:17:26I was going to leave with the fact that you haven't touched me in two years!
00:17:30Yeah, and why would I touch you?
00:17:32All you do is tell lies!
00:17:35It's fine.
00:17:35I was just going to ask why you guys are shopping together if you're moving out tomorrow.
00:17:42That's a great fucking question.
00:17:50Are you okay?
00:17:52Are you okay?
00:17:55Yeah.
00:17:56Yeah, I'm okay.
00:17:58The kids are devastated.
00:18:00And, um, we're probably going to have to sell the house.
00:18:04And I'm going to die alone.
00:18:06Mm-hmm.
00:18:09Lean up and I'll stick.
00:18:12They just...
00:18:13They seemed like the best couple.
00:18:15I know.
00:18:16I know.
00:18:17It's like...
00:18:18These things just turn on a dime so quickly.
00:18:20One day they've got that honeymoon glow and the next day...
00:18:23Why did you lie about ejaculating the other day?
00:18:26I don't know!
00:18:29Do we lie to each other?
00:18:30No.
00:18:31We don't lie to each other.
00:18:33We're us, alright?
00:18:34I mean, I...
00:18:34I mean, I...
00:18:35I...
00:18:36I don't...
00:18:36Why?
00:18:37Do you...
00:18:38Do you lie?
00:18:41But...
00:18:42Uh...
00:18:43I mean...
00:18:45I sort of faked my orgasm too.
00:18:48What?!
00:18:48You...
00:18:49You...
00:18:50Oh, come on.
00:18:51It's totally normal for a woman to fake it for a guy.
00:18:53That's fucked up!
00:18:55That's not...
00:18:56No, that's...
00:18:56That's, like, reverse sexism or something.
00:19:00That is a double standard.
00:19:01Oh, no.
00:19:01I think you're avoiding the question.
00:19:03Wow.
00:19:05Look, we love each other, right?
00:19:08We're great parents together.
00:19:10We make a great team.
00:19:11It's just married life, you know?
00:19:13I mean...
00:19:14The sex becomes less important, I guess.
00:19:17Yeah, but don't you think it's weird we don't talk about it?
00:19:20I don't...
00:19:20I don't...
00:19:21I don't know.
00:19:22I don't know.
00:19:22It's a can of worms.
00:19:24I mean...
00:19:25It's like that mango chicken stir fry you make.
00:19:30How exactly?
00:19:31Ugh.
00:19:32Well...
00:19:33You know, I don't love it.
00:19:34Uh...
00:19:35But I eat it.
00:19:36And I don't make a fuss.
00:19:37Because that's just...
00:19:38Part of the deal.
00:19:43Maybe if I had cashews?
00:19:45Let's not overreact, okay?
00:19:47We're not Andrew and Janice.
00:19:48We...
00:19:49We can figure this out.
00:19:51We've had many years of sex.
00:19:53Great sex.
00:19:55We know how to bang, right?
00:19:57Yeah.
00:19:58That's never been a problem for us, right?
00:20:00I mean...
00:20:00You know, it's not like we haven't sown our oats.
00:20:03I had sex with a reasonable amount of...
00:20:05Okay, I know, I know.
00:20:06You don't have to go through the list.
00:20:07I had my fun too.
00:20:08I had...
00:20:09I had my slutty...
00:20:10Yeah, can you...
00:20:10We talked about you not calling it that.
00:20:12Can we not?
00:20:13Okay, everything I've ever read...
00:20:15The main complaint about sex is that one person thinks of it more than the other.
00:20:21Okay, well then that's not our problem, right?
00:20:23Because we have a shared disinterest in sex.
00:20:26Like a...
00:20:26Like a mutual apathy.
00:20:29Yeah.
00:20:32Just...
00:20:32But then...
00:20:35Huh.
00:20:35What?
00:20:36What?
00:20:37I don't know.
00:20:38I...
00:20:39It's just...
00:20:40This is probably nothing.
00:20:42It's just these past few days I've been thinking a lot about sex.
00:20:46Hey, that's cool.
00:20:47I get it.
00:20:48I mean...
00:20:49Well, I've been working out more.
00:20:51I've been, uh...
00:20:51Been watching what I eat.
00:20:53You know?
00:20:53Sort of...
00:20:54It's really about portion control.
00:20:55Mostly.
00:20:56I'm...
00:20:56Oh, shit.
00:20:59You're...
00:21:00You've been...
00:21:00You've been thinking about the sex of...
00:21:02People who aren't me.
00:21:07It's just...
00:21:08We have this one week.
00:21:10This one week to...
00:21:12We could fuck in every room of the house without the kids barging in.
00:21:15But we're just...
00:21:18We're not.
00:21:22Okay.
00:21:23All right.
00:21:23Look.
00:21:28We got time, right?
00:21:29Let's not...
00:21:30We got like five more days.
00:21:32Right?
00:21:32Yes.
00:21:33All right.
00:21:34Let's fix this.
00:21:35Okay.
00:21:36All right.
00:21:36So, like, what are we thinking?
00:21:37Like, maybe like...
00:21:38Like an orgy with like, uh...
00:21:40Butter.
00:21:41Butter.
00:21:41Like a vat of butter.
00:21:43Oh, now I want butter.
00:21:45Mmm.
00:21:45Or, I could get like, uh...
00:21:47That enlargement surgery for my penis.
00:21:48For my little funny penis.
00:21:49Stop.
00:21:50Don't...
00:21:50Please.
00:21:51Hey.
00:21:51Hey.
00:21:53Whatever it takes.
00:21:59This isn't rocket science.
00:22:00Our sex has become...
00:22:02Mechanical.
00:22:03It's just...
00:22:03It's just unsurprising.
00:22:04Okay.
00:22:06So, let's surprise each other.
00:22:25I'm just not the right person to be giving sex advice.
00:22:28I'm a serial monogamous.
00:22:30Yeah.
00:22:30Wasn't Tom into some weird stuff?
00:22:33Yeah.
00:22:33Didn't you tell me he was into like...
00:22:34Furries.
00:22:34Furries.
00:22:35Done.
00:22:36Giant animal.
00:22:37Costumes that are used as mascots.
00:22:42So...
00:22:42Okay.
00:22:43So, you would dress up in the mascot costume and have sex?
00:22:47No.
00:22:48He was curious and he, you know, found some websites.
00:22:53I think that's as far as it went.
00:22:55I just want to do something like...
00:22:59A little surprising.
00:23:00Something he would never expect.
00:23:03Something...
00:23:05I don't know.
00:23:06Like adventurous.
00:23:07A little freaky but sexy.
00:23:09Fun.
00:23:10Like...
00:23:11I don't know.
00:23:12Like...
00:23:13Like a sex swing.
00:23:15That's a thing, right?
00:23:16A sex swing?
00:23:17I mean, I've never done anything like that.
00:23:19That's...
00:23:21Or...
00:23:21I don't know.
00:23:22Like, um...
00:23:23Like a threesome.
00:23:26A threesome?
00:23:27Maybe.
00:23:29Or not.
00:23:30I don't know.
00:23:31I don't know.
00:23:31Never mind.
00:23:31Forget that.
00:23:32No, no, no, no.
00:23:32It's a good idea.
00:23:34I've just, um...
00:23:35I don't know if we could actually go through with that.
00:23:39Uh...
00:23:39Cause who would...
00:23:43Like, Marlin?
00:23:46No.
00:23:48Obviously not Marlin.
00:23:49That would be a terrible idea, huh?
00:23:51Yeah.
00:23:52A girl.
00:23:53Would make more sense.
00:23:54Probably.
00:23:55A Marlin.
00:23:57You sure jumped the Marlin pretty quickly.
00:24:02Are you thinking...
00:24:04What?
00:24:06Wait.
00:24:06Okay.
00:24:07We trust each other.
00:24:08So we have that.
00:24:09We're friends.
00:24:10Well...
00:24:11I wasn't the...
00:24:13Oh.
00:24:15Oh.
00:24:16Shit.
00:24:17Shit.
00:24:18No.
00:24:19I am...
00:24:20I am so sorry.
00:24:22I am so...
00:24:22No, no.
00:24:22Don't be silly.
00:24:23No.
00:24:23I just...
00:24:24That's all.
00:24:24I mean, no.
00:24:25I just mean theoretically, hypothetically speaking...
00:24:28Yeah.
00:24:28You would be the perfect candidate if that...
00:24:32Well, just...
00:24:33Yeah, why?
00:24:33Because with another girl it would...
00:24:34It could be weird.
00:24:36It...
00:24:36At least I know with you, Josh is totally not your type.
00:24:40No, I suppose that's...
00:24:41That's a good point.
00:24:42And, uh...
00:24:44Like, it's been a little while since you've been with Tom, right?
00:24:48Yeah, yeah.
00:24:50Have been a little lonely, I guess.
00:24:53You've been with...
00:24:55Guys.
00:24:56You've been with girls.
00:24:57Yeah.
00:24:58Just not at the same time.
00:25:00Oh.
00:25:01Yeah.
00:25:02Forget it.
00:25:03I...
00:25:04Just joking.
00:25:08But...
00:25:08It could...
00:25:10Be fine.
00:25:14I mean, it's crazy.
00:25:16It's totally crazy.
00:25:17Totally crazy.
00:25:19But...
00:25:20Not completely, like, stupid or gross or, you know...
00:25:25Okay.
00:25:25Are we doing this?
00:25:27Are we?
00:25:28I don't know.
00:25:28Okay.
00:25:29Are we?
00:25:29I don't know.
00:25:30I mean...
00:25:34Okay.
00:25:35How about this?
00:25:38Um...
00:25:38Okay.
00:25:40Uh...
00:25:41Come over for dinner?
00:25:42Yes.
00:25:43Tonight.
00:25:44Okay.
00:25:45Just dinner.
00:25:47Like, no expectations.
00:25:49And...
00:25:50We'll see what...
00:25:52Happens.
00:25:55Hmm?
00:25:56Yeah.
00:26:00Nope.
00:26:01No way I can't do it.
00:26:02Can you relax?
00:26:03She might not even be into it.
00:26:05We left it open.
00:26:07Wait.
00:26:08Wait.
00:26:08No.
00:26:09That...
00:26:09That's...
00:26:09That's worse.
00:26:10What?
00:26:10I gotta try and, like, read her signs or...
00:26:12I'm not gonna have a clue what's going on.
00:26:14Oh, my God.
00:26:15I think I might have diarrhea.
00:26:17Do you feel like you have diarrhea?
00:26:19No.
00:26:19I thought this was like every man's fantasy.
00:26:22Oh, yeah.
00:26:22Yeah.
00:26:23In...
00:26:23In theory.
00:26:25Oh, my gosh.
00:26:26I...
00:26:26I should be getting a medal for this.
00:26:28This is like me being the best wife on the planet.
00:26:30Sorry, it's just...
00:26:32It's...
00:26:32It's too much pressure.
00:26:34Okay.
00:26:34Well, you don't have to worry about it because it's just dinner.
00:26:37She's probably come to her senses.
00:26:45Do you have to go to the bathroom?
00:26:47I'm good.
00:26:50Are you gonna stand like that?
00:26:51I'm good.
00:26:56Oh, thank you.
00:26:58Can I take your coat?
00:26:59Oh.
00:26:59Um, can I look out?
00:27:01Oh, yeah.
00:27:01It's kind of cold.
00:27:02Oh, my gosh.
00:27:02Your hair looks so good.
00:27:04Oh, my gosh.
00:27:05Your hair looks so good.
00:27:06Oh, my gosh.
00:27:06Look at this.
00:27:07So nice.
00:27:07Thank you so much for your warm wine.
00:27:10So, Wendy.
00:27:11Sup.
00:27:12Sup.
00:27:13I was just nervous.
00:27:15Yeah.
00:27:15Just really nervous.
00:27:17I just...
00:27:17I feel like I might have...
00:27:19Diarrhea.
00:27:20Right?
00:27:22You put on too much makeup.
00:27:25That's what I was gonna say.
00:27:26No.
00:27:27No?
00:27:27No.
00:27:27Okay.
00:27:28Your eyes look amazing.
00:27:30Oh.
00:27:30Your skin.
00:27:31You look so pretty.
00:27:32Thanks.
00:27:35Um, so...
00:27:36Um, Emma.
00:27:37I should say something in the spirit of full disclosure.
00:27:43Um...
00:27:45When we first met, I...
00:27:50Oh, my goodness.
00:27:51I'm so scared of what this might be.
00:27:53Oh, it's nothing.
00:27:53It's nothing.
00:27:53It's nothing.
00:27:54Okay.
00:27:55I just...
00:27:55When we first met, I kind of had a...
00:27:58A crush on you.
00:27:59A little.
00:28:00Oh, my gosh.
00:28:03I mean...
00:28:04Come on.
00:28:05Who wouldn't?
00:28:06Who wouldn't?
00:28:06You're so...
00:28:07Confident.
00:28:08And...
00:28:09Funny.
00:28:10And...
00:28:10Sexy.
00:28:12Oh, goodness.
00:28:15I mean...
00:28:16You're sexy, too.
00:28:19Huh.
00:28:21I...
00:28:21I know we said we weren't gonna...
00:28:24Have any expectations about tonight.
00:28:27Yeah.
00:28:28So...
00:28:35I really, really wanna fuck you.
00:28:40Okay, I'm gonna take your coat.
00:28:42Thanks.
00:28:47Let's get this off.
00:28:49There you go, man.
00:28:51Oh, my God.
00:29:05Mmm.
00:29:06Smells so good.
00:29:09It's my moisturizer.
00:29:14It's from Costco.
00:29:20It's my youngest beautiful woman I've ever seen.
00:29:26Josh is cute, too, right?
00:29:30Yeah.
00:29:33Hello.
00:29:36Do I have consent to go down on you?
00:29:38Huh.
00:29:39Yes.
00:29:40Yes.
00:29:48Oh, my gosh.
00:29:52Oh, my gosh.
00:30:05Oh.
00:30:08Oh, God...
00:30:09Oh, God.
00:30:10Okay.
00:30:12So...
00:30:15So, I'm just going to hang back a little bit here, and you just let me know when a good
00:30:25time would be.
00:30:36Oh my god, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming.
00:30:57I don't know what happened to you, she just got really intense.
00:31:02Yeah, super intense.
00:31:04I knew this was a bad idea.
00:31:06You knew it was a bad idea?
00:31:07What?
00:31:07Is it my fault?
00:31:08It's not my fault.
00:31:09No, no, no, no, of course not.
00:31:10No.
00:31:11I mean, it seemed like it was promising at the beginning.
00:31:14It seemed like, you know, something was happening.
00:31:18It seemed like you weren't it.
00:31:21Well, no, I mean, yeah, I was.
00:31:24I mean, because, you know, it was exciting.
00:31:25It was new, right?
00:31:26It was, she was very attractive.
00:31:28Yeah, she came to the house and washed her right now.
00:31:30Of course, she's trying right now.
00:31:32Okay.
00:31:37So, so, so what do we do now?
00:31:39Okay.
00:31:40Okay.
00:31:41Try something else.
00:31:42Just, you do the surprising this time.
00:31:45Okay.
00:31:47Okay.
00:31:52Good morning, lovely.
00:31:53Morning.
00:31:55Hi.
00:31:57Good morning.
00:31:59Good morning.
00:32:01Good morning.
00:32:14what's the craziest thing sexually you've ever done craziest thing I ever did yeah I fucked a
00:32:20dead girl once oh my god really no but I would if she was super hot you know what forget
00:32:28it I'm
00:32:28sorry oh and I went to a swingers party one time everyone was having sex everywhere it was dirty
00:32:35sexy though skeevy nasty nasty lounge yeah that's clever right I think it's it's like tongue-in-cheek
00:32:50it's gross thing is gross is there really nowhere else babe it's not like going for dim sum okay
00:32:59this is not a lot of choice here there's one sex club this is it come on let's go it's
00:33:04be fun
00:33:11so you uh you don't have like a daily like a guest pass available okay okay then I guess um
00:33:17two
00:33:18one-year memberships okay that will be $300 each plus a one-time initiation fee of $50
00:33:26one there's a mandatory $27 code check fee charge and of course the cover charge I don't need to
00:33:33know just run run that what whatever you need it's fine
00:33:58could be worse yeah no no no I think uh I think this looks promising
00:34:02okay excuse me oh oh hi we're very flattered
00:34:31um but we're we're not interested it's not it's not you guys you'd like some cheese
00:34:38yeah of course help yourself he just wants some cheese
00:34:44oh my god okay no no what are you two beautiful people drinking tonight
00:34:50my god finally hi hi sorry thank you for breaking the ice
00:34:55we're uh a little nervous it's our first time never ordered a drink before don't worry we can
00:35:02take it slow ha thank you I'll have a tomato juice please yeah me too cool here's a tip
00:35:10um find the red curtain for the higher end members I think you might get in
00:35:16the red thank you a red curtain
00:35:21I mean that looks like a red curtain that's definitely a red curtain
00:35:24higher end should we tell her to bring the tomato juice in there is that I mean I feel bad
00:35:29if we run into her later and just been carrying it around she knows we're high end what would we
00:35:33say to her I told him I'm sorry for marriage with Finn and that the only way to save it
00:35:39is to
00:35:39rekindle our sex life by getting our tomato juice in the high end
00:35:43do you hear that voice
00:36:10so far ready for you there you go just take your time have fun oh my god oh my god
00:36:16we need to go
00:36:16now we need to leave now why because Emma
00:36:23no
00:36:27no I didn't see your name on any of the newsletters hey Arthur hey Josh hey have you heard from
00:36:34the
00:36:35girls that are they having fun at camp well we haven't heard a peep but you know what they
00:36:38say when they're at camp no news is good news yeah yeah um are they taking the bus home or
00:36:45are you
00:36:45gonna pick them up you know I think picking up is probably the best it's part of the experience
00:36:50dad just put it trust me I am way more embarrassed than you are what makes you assume that well
00:36:57for one thing
00:37:00this isn't real leather that's you know how it stains it's really hard to so um I had to use
00:37:06vinyl and it uh just doesn't work with my character
00:37:11does mom not
00:37:12oh oh god
00:37:14does she
00:37:14oh god Arthur Arthur
00:37:15hey this is none of our business
00:37:17okay we're not gonna say a word to Marge
00:37:20we promise
00:37:21oh go ahead she's right over there
00:37:26oh my god this is not happening this is not happening
00:37:30well I guess now you know um what we were doing when we said we were playing bridge with the
00:37:39Wassermans
00:37:40but to tell you the truth we haven't actually seen them since the 80s
00:37:43oh my god dad why are you acting so casual is this not the most mortifying experience of your life
00:37:51I've had worse
00:37:52worse
00:37:53I don't know how we're ever gonna talk again
00:37:58what am I gonna come over and bring the kids and have lunch
00:38:02this is it this is we have to part ways
00:38:05just hang on there judgy judgerton
00:38:08you've seen me naked millions of times
00:38:11not since I was six
00:38:12Emma can we please talk
00:38:14please can we talk
00:38:15please
00:38:17hi
00:38:18oh my god Wendy
00:38:19I have not stopped thinking about last night
00:38:22okay I don't know what you think happened
00:38:24but something happened and we need to talk about it alone
00:38:27it's you and me
00:38:28what's going on with you what are you doing here
00:38:29it's a giraffe
00:38:32don't don't be Tom
00:38:33don't be Tom
00:38:34Tom
00:38:35are you serious that you followed me here
00:38:37that is a blatant violation of privacy
00:38:40uh I'm sorry didn't you follow us here Wendy
00:38:43I followed Emma
00:38:43I'm sorry
00:38:44is this your new girlfriend
00:38:45gonna stole you away from me
00:38:47oh wait tell me I didn't steal anyone
00:38:50I'm not her girlfriend
00:38:52I broke up weeks ago and I told you I am free to fornicate with whomever I choose
00:38:57okay wait
00:38:58is it a guy
00:38:58don't put your finger
00:38:59is this the one you had a threesome with
00:39:00whoa no excuse me
00:39:02we didn't even touch each other
00:39:03that I swear to god
00:39:04that was not
00:39:05you watched
00:39:06I'm gonna use my thumbs to crush your eyes
00:39:08did it they're sucking
00:39:09oh no
00:39:10back away from her
00:39:11bubbles
00:39:13oh my god
00:39:16go get out of here
00:39:18go go
00:39:18Emma
00:39:26what was that
00:39:27oh no that was
00:39:28that was crazy
00:39:29that was my dad
00:39:31yeah I know
00:39:33I know
00:39:33I know
00:39:33did you pick up on what he was saying about us going up to camp
00:39:35on Sunday to pick up the girls
00:39:37he's planning a surprise anniversary party for us
00:39:39I know he is
00:39:40I know he is
00:39:41we had issues before
00:39:43but I don't know how we're gonna process this
00:39:46your dad
00:39:46no listen
00:39:47it's I think it's good
00:39:48your mom and dad have an active sex life after all
00:39:50and what have we done to Wendy
00:39:52wait
00:39:52wait that's
00:39:53is that our fault
00:39:54I mean she was a relatively normal person before last night
00:39:57I just know
00:39:58before we ran into your parents
00:39:59I think things were
00:40:00were going okay
00:40:01right
00:40:01there was stuff happening there
00:40:03don't you see
00:40:04our plans keep getting messed up by external forces
00:40:07last night it was Wendy
00:40:08tonight it was your dad
00:40:10we need something that's just us
00:40:12yes
00:40:12something private
00:40:14right
00:40:14like
00:40:15intimate
00:40:16yeah
00:40:19maybe we should do
00:40:20ecstasy
00:40:23yeah
00:40:24right
00:40:24because I'm so great with the drugs
00:40:26you know I get it all in my head
00:40:27and it messes with
00:40:29and there was the time when we took the mushrooms
00:40:30when we were camping at Rolling River
00:40:32and I got poison ivy on my butt
00:40:34yeah because you took off all your clothes
00:40:36and you ran through the forest naked
00:40:38it was very freeing
00:40:40well I don't want to be free
00:40:41I don't ever want to leave the house again
00:40:43after what I saw tonight
00:40:45okay
00:40:47okay let's
00:40:48let's try the ecstasy
00:40:52you know where to get the ecstasy
00:40:57like where did you even
00:40:58like at
00:41:00rave parties
00:41:02let you into a rave party
00:41:03like a dark alley
00:41:04you're gonna have to get it in an alley
00:41:06in the dark
00:41:07I got this
00:41:13how do you got it
00:41:14I got it
00:41:15you don't
00:41:16I got this
00:41:17okay
00:41:30hey
00:41:30hey yo yo you
00:41:32you look shifty
00:41:33no I'm not
00:41:34I'm not
00:41:34what do you want
00:41:36ah
00:41:36I was wondering if
00:41:37if you could
00:41:40score me some
00:41:40X
00:41:42are you a narc
00:41:43what
00:41:44you sound like a really bad narc
00:41:46from the 90s
00:41:47why did
00:41:48did I say it wrong
00:41:53whatever
00:41:55can you hook me up
00:41:59what makes you think I have it
00:42:01what
00:42:02no I don't know
00:42:03because you're like a young person
00:42:05you're like
00:42:05you're like a modern woman
00:42:08and you like to have a good time
00:42:11what
00:42:12so you think I just carry around
00:42:13MDMA
00:42:14on my person
00:42:15at work
00:42:16on a Thursday
00:42:19ah god
00:42:19now
00:42:20when you say it like that
00:42:22I realize it was stupid
00:42:23ah
00:42:23I'm an idiot
00:42:24I'm sorry
00:42:25forget it
00:42:27ah
00:42:30so what
00:42:31so all that then was
00:42:32that was just you busting my balls
00:42:34like you're torturing me
00:42:34yeah
00:42:35the amusement
00:42:35yeah
00:42:36your eyeballs were twitching
00:42:37it was gross
00:42:38but I kind of liked it
00:42:40bye Natasha
00:42:40bye Keanu
00:42:44okay
00:42:45shading
00:42:47shading
00:42:48see you tomorrow
00:42:52I'm sad
00:42:53because you said
00:42:54you'd come by the gallery
00:42:55and you never came
00:42:56oh shit
00:42:57okay I'm sorry
00:42:58I just said things
00:42:59have been kind of crazy
00:43:00with that
00:43:00okay that's enough small talk
00:43:02I mostly came back for these
00:43:03I want these in my gallery
00:43:04now
00:43:06the artist I was showing
00:43:07came by the gallery today
00:43:08and saw that I
00:43:09I took down his scrotums
00:43:11he wasn't happy
00:43:12so he pulled everything
00:43:13now my gallery's empty
00:43:14I desperately need something to show
00:43:16I
00:43:16you'd be saving my ass
00:43:18wait are you kidding
00:43:20you're serious
00:43:22I mean this is incredible
00:43:24I'd have to check with Aisha
00:43:27but I'm sure she'd be thrilled
00:43:28yes
00:43:30oh my god
00:43:31you have no idea
00:43:32what kind of impact
00:43:33this could have on her
00:43:34okay
00:43:35we'll bring them by tomorrow
00:43:37and I'll use
00:43:37as many
00:43:38as I can fit
00:43:40you're serious
00:43:41oh my god
00:43:43hello
00:43:45yeah no
00:43:46I understand
00:43:46I had an epiphany though
00:43:48open Saturday
00:43:50no
00:43:50no balls
00:43:51she's a child
00:43:55is all the water
00:43:56really necessary
00:43:57well yeah
00:43:58if you don't want to die
00:43:59because I read that
00:44:00most MDMA related deaths
00:44:01are caused by dehydration
00:44:03so if we're all
00:44:03splayed out on the floor
00:44:05all whacked out on drugs
00:44:06and we can't make it
00:44:06you're kind of ruining the fun
00:44:08oh okay
00:44:08okay
00:44:09okay
00:44:09okay
00:44:10sorry
00:44:14there you see that
00:44:15you see how quickly
00:44:16I forgot
00:44:16everything that I've read
00:44:18about how
00:44:18ecstasy depletes spinal fluid
00:44:20and increases
00:44:24shh
00:44:24thank you
00:44:28all right
00:44:29here here
00:44:29cheers
00:44:32cheers
00:44:32good luck
00:44:35well shit
00:44:36water
00:44:49how about now
00:44:51yeah
00:44:52yeah
00:44:52I think I'm
00:44:53I'm feeling
00:44:54I'm starting to feel
00:44:55something new
00:44:55yeah
00:44:56I'm pretty sure
00:44:57I feel something
00:44:58I think it's working
00:44:59yeah
00:45:01do you believe
00:45:02we thought that was it
00:45:04back on the couch
00:45:05oh my gosh
00:45:06I feel like we're
00:45:06we were not high
00:45:08at the house
00:45:08oh god
00:45:09and this whole
00:45:11sex thing
00:45:11I mean
00:45:13we're fine
00:45:14we'll figure it out
00:45:15we're not gonna like
00:45:16sell a house
00:45:17and traumatize our kids
00:45:18oh my god
00:45:18we're not gonna like
00:45:19wake up and like
00:45:20hate each other
00:45:21that's not who we are
00:45:22god I feel really good
00:45:23right now
00:45:23I'm so good at
00:45:23figuring things out
00:45:24like I know
00:45:25I feel like I could do
00:45:27anything
00:45:27oh my god
00:45:28I feel like
00:45:29we could do anything
00:45:30I feel like everything
00:45:32you know what
00:45:32we just ate everything
00:45:33so I mean
00:45:34we're nice to see
00:45:35when we celebrate you
00:45:36I don't even feel like
00:45:36we're too serious
00:45:37about the sex stuff
00:45:38no god
00:45:38when we were in university
00:45:39we said I fucked everywhere
00:45:40we like had sex in my car
00:45:42oh my god
00:45:42my parents
00:45:43in the parents' kitchen
00:45:44when they were sleeping
00:45:45we pretend you were a girl guide
00:45:47and that I was a hundred
00:45:48and I'm too old
00:45:50but then I was
00:45:50oh yeah
00:45:51and then we kissed you
00:45:52oh man
00:45:52we kissed all the time
00:45:53oh god
00:45:54and you dick
00:45:55you
00:45:55you so loved me
00:45:56you always said
00:45:57you enjoyed my teeth
00:45:57even though it wasn't huge
00:46:00but I have a slim vagina
00:46:01you have a slim vagina
00:46:02you have a slim vagina
00:46:03anyone had ever seen it
00:46:04I know it was a perfect fit
00:46:05there's like puzzle pieces
00:46:06that could be together
00:46:08I want to kiss you
00:46:09I want to kiss you
00:46:12oh my god
00:46:13oh my god
00:46:13you taste so good
00:46:14that's my winter mint gum
00:46:21oh
00:46:22oh
00:46:22oh
00:46:24oh
00:46:25oh
00:46:25oh
00:46:27oh
00:46:27oh
00:46:30what
00:46:32are you done
00:46:32I can't believe
00:46:33I just did that
00:46:34oh my god
00:46:34oh
00:46:43it's okay
00:46:46we could just
00:46:46recharge the batteries
00:46:47no
00:46:49everything I read
00:46:49said you know
00:46:50there's erectile dysfunction
00:46:51issues on ecstasy
00:46:52I mean we were lucky
00:46:52to get one erection
00:46:53we're not going to get two
00:46:54I'm sure we can try
00:46:56no please don't do that
00:46:57please don't
00:46:57okay
00:46:57sorry
00:46:59just don't think about it
00:47:00just
00:47:00I'll wait
00:47:06fine
00:47:07I'm really sorry
00:47:08oh my god please don't apologize
00:47:10oh really
00:47:11so you're not like
00:47:12totally frustrated right now
00:47:15I mean I'm a little frustrated
00:47:18oh my god you are frustrated
00:47:19I knew this
00:47:19I fucked the whole thing up
00:47:22we can still do this
00:47:24no that's
00:47:25see that's pressuring me
00:47:25that's putting pressure on me
00:47:27and I don't function well
00:47:28under pressure
00:47:28you know what
00:47:29can you stop yelling at me
00:47:30you know what
00:47:30I can't stop thinking about
00:47:31that comment you made
00:47:32earlier about my penis
00:47:35when I complimented it
00:47:36by calling it not huge
00:47:38oh my god
00:47:39oh no
00:47:40no I'm leaking
00:47:41what
00:47:41I'm leaking spinal fluid
00:47:44it's semen
00:47:45oh I don't feel right
00:47:46it's not spinal fluid
00:47:48I don't
00:47:48I
00:47:48my head hurts
00:47:49and I'm having like
00:47:50okay
00:47:51backspot
00:47:51can you just calm down
00:47:52we're not the couple
00:47:54that yells at each other
00:47:54okay
00:47:55right
00:47:55just calm down
00:47:57when we have a problem
00:47:58we fix it
00:47:59yeah
00:48:00or we compromise
00:48:03I know what that is
00:48:04I know what you're doing
00:48:05there
00:48:05if you want to say something
00:48:06just say it to me
00:48:07and when you say that
00:48:08it's like you're saying
00:48:09I know what you're saying
00:48:09it's like you think
00:48:10that you're the only one
00:48:11of us who compromises
00:48:11that's not what I meant
00:48:12mm-hmm
00:48:13okay
00:48:14but maybe we should
00:48:15stop playing games
00:48:17maybe we should just
00:48:17speak our mind
00:48:19great
00:48:19you want me to speak my
00:48:20motherfucking
00:48:20speak my mind
00:48:21calmly
00:48:22speak my
00:48:23I'm losing my fucking mind
00:48:25you know
00:48:25I'm losing it
00:48:26because
00:48:27the kids are coming home
00:48:28from camp
00:48:29and then
00:48:30we're back to like
00:48:31our normal routine
00:48:33and then
00:48:34this was our one chance
00:48:35you know
00:48:35our one chance to prove
00:48:36that we could do this
00:48:37that we're not
00:48:38I don't know what
00:48:38like sexually incompatible
00:48:40or something
00:48:40you think I'm not terrified
00:48:42you think I'm not
00:48:43lying in bed at night
00:48:44worried about why
00:48:45we're not fucking
00:48:46that we're gonna end up
00:48:47like Andrew and Janice
00:48:48in the goddamn grocery store
00:48:51you think this is just you
00:48:55do you not see
00:48:58that my heart
00:48:59is breaking
00:49:01just a little more
00:49:02every single day
00:49:09we're great parents
00:49:10together
00:49:11right
00:49:12and we got the friendship
00:49:13thing down
00:49:14it's just
00:49:16it's just one piece
00:49:17I don't know
00:49:20I think
00:49:22maybe we made a mistake
00:49:28yeah maybe we did
00:49:30yeah
00:49:30wait what are you
00:49:32what are you doing
00:49:34what are you
00:49:35what are you doing
00:49:36I don't know
00:49:37I just gotta
00:49:40clear my head
00:49:41get my thoughts together
00:49:42I'm gonna go to a hotel
00:49:43you can
00:49:44what are you
00:49:45you're gonna
00:49:45why
00:49:46why
00:49:46why
00:49:47why
00:49:47why
00:49:47I don't know
00:49:48I don't know
00:49:49what the fuck to do
00:49:50I don't know
00:49:50I don't think we're
00:49:51gonna
00:49:51I don't think we're
00:49:52gonna get anywhere
00:49:53here tonight
00:49:54with
00:49:55both of us
00:49:58just
00:49:59confused
00:49:59and
00:50:01paranoid
00:50:02paranoid
00:50:02is that what you
00:50:03you're talking about
00:50:04me right
00:50:04you said we
00:50:05but you meant me
00:50:06you think that I'm
00:50:07being paranoid
00:50:07is that what you're
00:50:07saying
00:50:09please don't go
00:50:10okay there was a
00:50:11mis-
00:50:11we're not the couple
00:50:13that does that
00:50:14we don't like walk out
00:50:15on each other
00:50:16in the middle of a fight
00:50:16no we're not
00:50:17we're not the couple
00:50:18who invites their friend
00:50:20to a fucking threesome
00:50:21and we're not the couple
00:50:22who
00:50:24take ecstasy
00:50:25to try and have sex
00:50:26I know
00:50:26or
00:50:27have
00:50:28crushes on
00:50:29people the
00:50:30week we're supposed
00:50:31to have
00:50:33no
00:50:33wait a second
00:50:34I'm sorry
00:50:35did you say
00:50:36we have crushes
00:50:37I'm
00:50:38I don't
00:50:38I don't
00:50:39it's nothing
00:50:40it's just a stupid
00:50:41fucking crush
00:50:43it's just this
00:50:44timing that
00:50:45obviously is saying
00:50:46something
00:50:46it's just freaking me out
00:50:49whoa
00:50:50who is it
00:50:55it's Marlin
00:50:56Marlin
00:50:57Marlin from art school
00:50:59Marlin
00:51:00the gallery thing
00:51:01yes it's stupid
00:51:02oh okay
00:51:04so what you guys
00:51:06all week you guys
00:51:07have been like
00:51:08flirting and stuff
00:51:10no I mean
00:51:13a little
00:51:16maybe
00:51:17okay
00:51:19can I get some details
00:51:20on that
00:51:21just
00:51:21like details
00:51:22about
00:51:23what that means
00:51:24no
00:51:24because that's a
00:51:25really bad idea
00:51:26I think it's actually
00:51:27a really good idea
00:51:28because I need to hear it
00:51:29and you just said
00:51:30well I don't know
00:51:30what you're gonna hear
00:51:31because there's also
00:51:31no details
00:51:32I had
00:51:33you want the details
00:51:33yes
00:51:34I had a
00:51:35a
00:51:37daydream about him
00:51:39daydream
00:51:40that's it
00:51:41that like
00:51:42that code for like
00:51:43a sex fantasy
00:51:47uh
00:51:48yeah
00:51:49I guess
00:51:50I guess
00:51:50that's what it is
00:51:51wow
00:51:51yeah
00:51:52wow
00:51:53okay
00:51:53so
00:51:54now you know
00:51:55in this like
00:51:55fantasy
00:51:57did he like
00:51:58kiss you
00:52:00in the fantasy
00:52:01yeah
00:52:02inside the fantasy
00:52:03did he kiss you
00:52:03yes
00:52:04wow
00:52:04he did
00:52:06right
00:52:07like
00:52:07was it like
00:52:08a very
00:52:08like a
00:52:11tonguey
00:52:11hot kiss
00:52:13well it was
00:52:14in a fantasy
00:52:14so it was like
00:52:16uh
00:52:16yeah
00:52:16you know
00:52:17my fantasy
00:52:18yeah your fantasy
00:52:19it was a pretty
00:52:20hot kiss
00:52:20with Marlon
00:52:21and what else
00:52:21did he do
00:52:22did he do
00:52:23to you in the fantasy
00:52:25I don't think
00:52:25you really want to know
00:52:26no
00:52:26I definitely want to know
00:52:27and I want you to tell him
00:52:28I just want to know
00:52:29it's cool
00:52:29just tell me
00:52:30what he did to you
00:52:30in the fantasy
00:52:31what he did to me
00:52:32in the fantasy
00:52:32yes
00:52:33he lifted me up
00:52:34on the desk
00:52:35and he
00:52:36took my panties off
00:52:38I
00:52:38they were
00:52:39much nicer
00:52:40than I was actually wearing
00:52:41you're right
00:52:42and then
00:52:42he
00:52:43that's good
00:52:44came and he
00:52:44stop it
00:52:45it's good
00:52:45it's good
00:52:46I get it
00:52:46you're right
00:52:47that was a really bad idea
00:52:50and
00:52:52and you were right
00:52:53that we are not
00:52:54going to figure this out tonight
00:52:55Josh
00:52:56no
00:52:57and you were right
00:52:58that we need space
00:52:59so I'm
00:52:59oh my god
00:53:00I'm giving us
00:53:01some space
00:53:01where are you going
00:53:02Josh
00:53:05Josh
00:53:15fucking nose
00:53:22oh my god
00:53:45I'll give you a good idea
00:53:48Oh, dude, you partied on a school night, wow.
00:53:54Oh, you look really creepy, super fucking sketchy.
00:53:57It's actually really embarrassing.
00:53:58Hey, Josh, I need you to clean that up and go home.
00:54:03Yeah, well, there it is, fog of the morning after.
00:54:09You know, I should have warned you,
00:54:10that's what happens when you have an evening
00:54:12of euphoria and crazy sex.
00:54:15Would you stop at the sec, there was no sex, okay?
00:54:18Emma and I, we took the ecstasy because our relationship
00:54:20is falling apart, because our sex life is a shambles.
00:54:23Right there, you said it.
00:54:26Oh.
00:54:30Okay, well, first of all, it's called Molly.
00:54:33When you say the ecstasy, it's very embarrassing for both of us.
00:54:36And I'm guessing it's still in your system
00:54:38because it's doing something that was surprisingly honest.
00:54:42I'm sorry.
00:54:43Come on, tell me what happened last night.
00:54:48Okay.
00:54:49It was...
00:54:51It was really bad.
00:54:52It was a disaster.
00:54:53She told me that she has a crush on this old flame of hers.
00:54:56Okay.
00:54:57Still normal people have crushes all the time.
00:54:58Yeah, but she's been working with the guy all week,
00:55:00and now she's worried that she's gonna maybe, like,
00:55:02do it with him or something.
00:55:04Oh.
00:55:05We spent the night at a dingy motel room.
00:55:07Yeah.
00:55:08Yeah.
00:55:09That's pretty fucking tragic.
00:55:10Yeah.
00:55:10It's the first time since I met her.
00:55:13I just have no clue what's going on in her head.
00:55:16Yeah.
00:55:18Well, you should probably do something about that.
00:55:21I know.
00:55:22That's what I was thinking.
00:55:23Yeah, maybe like a romantic gesture or something.
00:55:25Hey, you think I should make her jealous.
00:55:28Uh, no.
00:55:29I don't think you should do that.
00:55:30Yeah, because she's never been jealous before.
00:55:32She's not really the jealous type.
00:55:33That's just because I've never posed a threat.
00:55:35Okay.
00:55:35What you're suggesting is juvenile, manipulative, and mean-spirited.
00:55:38Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:55:39It's gonna work.
00:55:39No.
00:55:40Look, I happen to be a master at romantic manipulation, okay?
00:55:43I am not proud of it.
00:55:44Oh, my God.
00:55:44I am so proud of it.
00:55:45I'm just kidding.
00:55:45And...
00:55:46You know what I'm saying?
00:55:46This is totally crazy.
00:55:47I recognize this is an unconventional approach.
00:55:49It sounds crazy coming out of my mouth.
00:55:50What are you doing with that phone?
00:55:51But I really think that this is gonna work,
00:55:53because I feel her slipping away, you know?
00:55:55And I gotta do whatever it takes to get her back, right?
00:55:57It doesn't make me a bad person.
00:55:58Does that make me a bad person?
00:55:59It doesn't make you a bad...
00:56:00Oh, my God, Josh.
00:56:01Josh, listen to me.
00:56:02Every single person born after 1990
00:56:04has trained in these very arts...
00:56:06Tender, please just put the phone down.
00:56:07Put it down.
00:56:08Hang up the phone.
00:56:11I need you to do this for me.
00:56:13What?
00:56:13No.
00:56:14I'm not touching the phone.
00:56:15Nope.
00:56:16I think it looks really good.
00:56:17Hold on.
00:56:19I'm sorry.
00:56:19Just one second.
00:56:21Thank God you called.
00:56:23Look.
00:56:24I don't wanna...
00:56:25Hello?
00:56:26Oh, sorry.
00:56:27Who is this?
00:56:29This is Emma.
00:56:31Who's this?
00:56:32Oh, jeez.
00:56:33I'm so sorry.
00:56:34I think I might have asked L.D.
00:56:35Like Josh's phone.
00:56:37Who is this?
00:56:39It's Kelly from Josh's work.
00:56:42Josh.
00:56:43Oh, my God.
00:56:44I think I might have asked L.D. Emma on your phone.
00:56:46I'm so sorry.
00:56:48I'm such a dumb slut sometimes.
00:56:50That's good.
00:56:51That's good.
00:56:51Hey.
00:56:52Sorry about that.
00:56:54Hey.
00:56:57Um...
00:56:58How are you feeling?
00:57:01After last night?
00:57:02Uh...
00:57:03I don't know.
00:57:04I've been better.
00:57:06What'd I say about Marlon?
00:57:08I just...
00:57:09I really don't wanna hear about Marlon right now.
00:57:11I know.
00:57:11I'm sorry.
00:57:13I...
00:57:13It was a mistake.
00:57:14I didn't mean to call you.
00:57:15I, uh...
00:57:16I gotta go.
00:57:18Um...
00:57:18We're just gonna go grab some dinner.
00:57:21Oh.
00:57:22Okay.
00:57:23You...
00:57:23You have dinner plans?
00:57:25It's like a...
00:57:26Private work thing.
00:57:29So...
00:57:30Um...
00:57:31Anyway...
00:57:31I gotta go.
00:57:33Bye.
00:57:38Well...
00:57:39That's done.
00:57:45I feel dirty.
00:57:48What did I just do?
00:57:50I believe my words were mean-spirited, juvenile and manipulative.
00:57:53How could you let me do that?
00:57:56I...
00:57:57I actually warned you.
00:57:58I have a gift.
00:57:59It's guided by a higher power.
00:58:00There's nothing I can do about it.
00:58:01The situation is 100% on you.
00:58:12Like, it's looking pretty good, right?
00:58:14I mean...
00:58:16We can come back tomorrow and make some last minute adjustments if we want to, but I don't
00:58:19know.
00:58:19I think we're pretty much...
00:58:21We're ready to go.
00:58:24You got any dinner plans?
00:58:27You know I'm married, right?
00:58:29So what the fuck is wrong with you?
00:58:31I...
00:58:32I thought that...
00:58:33Three of us could grab some dinner.
00:58:35You, me, and...
00:58:36Josh, if you don't already have plans.
00:58:39But, uh...
00:58:41Really, forget it.
00:58:42I'm...
00:58:42I'm...
00:58:42I'm sorry.
00:58:43No.
00:58:44You know what?
00:58:45I don't even want to have dinner with you.
00:58:47With either of you.
00:58:47Because I...
00:58:48I hate dinner.
00:58:49I, uh...
00:58:51Totally was...
00:58:51Was joking.
00:58:52I don't even...
00:58:54Eat.
00:58:54So that's...
00:58:55Whatever I did, I didn't mean it.
00:58:56I'm truly sorry.
00:58:57And please...
00:58:58Don't be mad at me.
00:58:59No.
00:59:01It's not you.
00:59:01I'm...
00:59:02Really sorry.
00:59:04I just made everything really awkward.
00:59:07Well, welcome to my world.
00:59:09The...
00:59:10The world of awkward.
00:59:12Awkward world.
00:59:13The...
00:59:13The wonderful world of awkward.
00:59:15Just...
00:59:16Look, Josh and I just have...
00:59:18We're just going through something right now, so...
00:59:20We can't go for dinner.
00:59:23It's just we've always been able to talk it through.
00:59:26Always.
00:59:27Yeah, I believe it.
00:59:30You can eat that?
00:59:32And...
00:59:32But...
00:59:34I...
00:59:35He screwed up.
00:59:36I...
00:59:37Told him I had a crush.
00:59:38Ugh.
00:59:39You had a crush?
00:59:40I told him I was having intense sexual fantasies about you
00:59:43when we were in an ecstasy-fueled meltdown.
00:59:46Teeming with paranoia and anxiety.
00:59:49I...
00:59:49I'm just...
00:59:51A horrible person.
00:59:52Stupid person.
00:59:54Well, he's not exactly being a saint.
00:59:55You know, trying to make you jealous?
00:59:58With that...
00:59:59Phone call tonight?
01:00:00With that girl from work?
01:00:01Wait.
01:00:02Now...
01:00:02Wait.
01:00:02When you say...
01:00:04Wait, you think he was trying to make me jealous?
01:00:07Like on purpose?
01:00:08Yeah.
01:00:09Seemed pretty obvious from what you were saying.
01:00:12But...
01:00:12When you say sexual...
01:00:15What exactly are we...
01:00:16Doing?
01:00:16That is...
01:00:17So unlike him.
01:00:20That's...
01:00:20I can't believe you would do that.
01:00:23I mean...
01:00:24That's something I did in eighth grade when I was an idiot.
01:00:30It's so mean.
01:00:31I can't...
01:00:32Oh my god.
01:00:34I...
01:00:37Oh my god.
01:00:38Am I...
01:00:39Is he an idiot?
01:00:41Am I married to an idiot?
01:00:42Have I been married to an idiot for like 10 years and didn't know it?
01:00:45I mean, all's fair in love and war.
01:00:48Or so they say.
01:00:49I mean, I...
01:00:49I personally don't advocate for...
01:00:53How could...
01:00:53Idiocy in...
01:00:54In love or...
01:00:56Or...
01:00:56Or...
01:00:57I mean, I don't know how I could have not seen that though.
01:01:00You could fight fire with fire.
01:01:02You know?
01:01:04Make him jealous too.
01:01:07Oh!
01:01:10I'll be...
01:01:11I'll be back.
01:01:12Hey!
01:01:13Was I wearing anything specific in the...
01:01:15In the...
01:01:17It's a blessing, Anne.
01:01:19But you know, I'm just so good at it.
01:01:21I look so cute doing it.
01:01:22Yeah.
01:01:23Oh shit.
01:01:24She looks pissed.
01:01:25Uh...
01:01:26Okay.
01:01:26Well, I'm gonna...
01:01:27I'm gonna hang back.
01:01:27Honey.
01:01:28Look.
01:01:29I know.
01:01:30So I...
01:01:32Ow!
01:01:32Is that...
01:01:33You slapped me?
01:01:34Just with a mitten.
01:01:35What is wrong with you?
01:01:36Trying to make me jealous?
01:01:39Ah...
01:01:39Is that...
01:01:40That's what we are now?
01:01:41No, look.
01:01:41Look.
01:01:41Like 12 year olds?
01:01:43I regressed.
01:01:43I did something stupid.
01:01:44I know that.
01:01:45But it's cause I'm out of my mind.
01:01:46And I didn't know what to do.
01:01:48But don't you see?
01:01:48You saw through that bullshit.
01:01:50You're...
01:01:50You know me better than anybody.
01:01:52You saw right through it.
01:01:52You're still gay.
01:01:53No.
01:01:53But I didn't.
01:01:54I never would have known if Marlon didn't say that you were doing this stupid thing.
01:02:00Marlon?
01:02:00So are you...
01:02:02So you're just with Marlon now?
01:02:04I was at the gallery setting up for the show.
01:02:07You know, don't turn this into...
01:02:08Hold on.
01:02:09I'm just trying...
01:02:09I'm trying to understand how that conversation must have played out.
01:02:11So you would have had to have like told him about our issues.
01:02:13About our private personal sexual issues?
01:02:17We were having dinner.
01:02:19I was upset.
01:02:20I had to talk to somebody.
01:02:21I see.
01:02:22Huh.
01:02:23I get...
01:02:23I get what this is.
01:02:24You, uh...
01:02:27You...
01:02:28I made you jealous and so now you're making me jealous.
01:02:31Oh my God.
01:02:34Seriously?
01:02:35This is crazy.
01:02:36That was Marlon's suggestion.
01:02:39Why does every man suddenly think that that's a good idea?
01:02:42Yeah.
01:02:44Marlon suggested that you should make me jealous, right?
01:02:46That's what you're saying?
01:02:47He suggested that you make me jealous.
01:02:49Can we have a conversation like a normal human conversation?
01:02:53Uh...
01:02:53When did we transform into crazy people?
01:02:56Ugh.
01:02:56And by we, I mean you.
01:02:58What is...
01:02:59Can I say something?
01:03:01Tell me the truth.
01:03:02Did Marlon come over to the house after I left last night?
01:03:05Oh my God.
01:03:07Did he like...
01:03:08Did he kiss you?
01:03:09Did he...
01:03:09What was it?
01:03:10Did he lift you up on the desk and pull off your panties?
01:03:12Yes, he did.
01:03:14Yes.
01:03:15We had angry, angry sex on our marital bed.
01:03:18And he...
01:03:18He drilled me...
01:03:20Oh, you think...
01:03:20So hard.
01:03:21And I got...
01:03:21I got hungry.
01:03:23No, no, then I ordered pizza.
01:03:24Yeah, yeah.
01:03:25This is...
01:03:25I banged the pizza guy too.
01:03:27And then there was also a plumber.
01:03:29And the plumber did that thing, that...
01:03:33Thing that they do in the pornos where all the jizz all over my...
01:03:38I couldn't even see.
01:03:39And it was like all the things in all the pornos.
01:03:44Wow.
01:03:44Are you seeing...
01:03:45Of course I didn't do anything.
01:03:47I don't know.
01:03:49I don't know.
01:03:50I don't know...
01:03:50I don't know what to think.
01:03:53You're walking away?
01:03:56You're getting in your car?
01:03:58No.
01:03:59You're starting your car?
01:04:04And you're driving around.
01:04:29Jesus, fuck.
01:04:31What are you doing here on a Saturday?
01:04:32Mmm.
01:04:36Wait, don't you have your wife's gallery show-y thing tonight?
01:04:39You're going to that, right?
01:04:41No.
01:04:42Tell me you're going to that.
01:04:44Okay.
01:04:45So, if you're not gonna go see your wife tonight, what are you gonna do?
01:04:50Oh, I think I'd order Indian food, watch some TV, possibly kill myself.
01:04:56All right.
01:04:57You're coming to a party with me.
01:04:59Come on.
01:04:59That is...
01:05:00There's no way that that is happening.
01:05:02Yeah, you need the distraction.
01:05:04Yeah.
01:05:05You know what?
01:05:05I'm just gonna stick with the suicide plan.
01:05:07I think so, for offering.
01:05:10It's gonna be fun.
01:05:11Yeah.
01:05:11A bunch of millennials posting photos of themselves?
01:05:14No thank you.
01:05:15No, it's actually gonna be a bunch of hipsters drinking craft beer out of mason jars.
01:05:20Oh, my God.
01:05:20That's so much worse.
01:05:24You got your car with you?
01:05:27Yeah, why?
01:05:29Great.
01:05:29You're gonna take me to the party.
01:05:32Uh...
01:05:32Come on.
01:05:32You're not gonna get these back until you come with me.
01:05:36Oh.
01:05:37See where it's going?
01:05:39Let's go.
01:05:40Oh, my God.
01:05:40Yeah.
01:05:41Ooh.
01:05:42It's really gross.
01:05:44You can just keep all that stuff.
01:05:46I don't need those things.
01:05:47Let's go, Josh.
01:05:48Josh?
01:05:50Do I have...
01:05:51Do I have to?
01:05:58Josh, where the hell are you?
01:06:00You're not at the motel.
01:06:01You're not at...
01:06:02Home.
01:06:02Your car's not in the driveway.
01:06:03I...
01:06:04I need to...
01:06:05Get back to the gallery.
01:06:06Just can you please call me back?
01:06:10Shit.
01:06:16Shit.
01:06:23Ah, okay.
01:06:24You're her husband.
01:06:26Congratulations.
01:06:26Another new husband.
01:06:28You want some art to celebrate.
01:06:29I always, always appreciate it when you buy something with each...
01:06:33Because I think we've still got a couple paintings.
01:06:35That one might be available.
01:06:36I'm not sure.
01:06:37This one I just sold for an exorbitant amount of money.
01:06:40That guy did not seem to get me.
01:06:45Nobody believes the artist is 15.
01:06:47She's selling like hotcakes.
01:06:49Which is a very confusing expression because...
01:06:53I don't know about you, but...
01:06:55After like one hotcake, I'm totally full.
01:07:03I'm so sorry.
01:07:04I have to get out of here.
01:07:07Yeah.
01:07:08I...
01:07:08I'll walk you.
01:07:19Okay, look.
01:07:20I got you here safe.
01:07:21I'm gonna go now, okay?
01:07:22Okay.
01:07:23Put your arm around me.
01:07:24What?
01:07:25Just put your arm around me.
01:07:26Why are you doing that?
01:07:27Awesome.
01:07:27Come on.
01:07:30It's the married guy.
01:07:32Stop staring.
01:07:33Oh.
01:07:34Jesus Christ.
01:07:35Stop it.
01:07:35Stop staring at me.
01:07:37Okay, I just need you to keep your eyes on me, alright?
01:07:39Keep your eyes on me.
01:07:40Keep your eyes on me and just look at me as if I'm like I'm super hot.
01:07:43Oh my God.
01:07:44Just do it.
01:07:44Okay, I'm sorry.
01:07:45After all the shit you gave me about playing games?
01:07:48What the hell?
01:07:49Because you are old.
01:07:51Then you should know better.
01:07:53Oh.
01:07:53But my God, please, Josh.
01:07:55Come on.
01:07:56It's about damage control tonight.
01:07:58I really need your help.
01:07:59Things that all of it rock you with Gary and I just need to nudge back in there.
01:08:03I thought your generation was supposed to be like evolved and like woke.
01:08:06Don't say woke.
01:08:07What?
01:08:08You are so embarrassing.
01:08:10Oh my God.
01:08:12Alright, game one.
01:08:13What?
01:08:14Grab a tip.
01:08:15No, I'm not.
01:08:16Why?
01:08:17I'm not doing this.
01:08:18No way.
01:08:20Fine.
01:08:23Please.
01:08:45Please.
01:08:46No way.
01:08:47Please.
01:08:48Please.
01:08:54Please.
01:08:56Please.
01:08:57Please.
01:09:00You never fucking listen to me!
01:09:03This is why I fucking hate you about you!
01:09:06Get the fuck out of my life!
01:09:07I'm not.
01:09:08I'm not.
01:09:10Why?
01:09:19Hey, Kelly, wait.
01:09:21I'm fine.
01:09:22Just hold up.
01:09:23No, it's fine, Josh.
01:09:24Leave me alone.
01:09:25Okay, just take a breath.
01:09:32I just wish we could go back to the way we were a week ago.
01:09:35I mean, sex was non-existent, but we didn't care.
01:09:44I mean, it wasn't perfect, but at least it was happy.
01:09:49We were happy.
01:09:51Every relationship I've ever had ended because the passion fizzled out.
01:09:56I mean, sex always suffers.
01:09:58Anyone who tells you otherwise is lying.
01:10:03I've never been able to make it stick.
01:10:06Look at me.
01:10:08I'm alone.
01:10:12What's yours?
01:10:13You want more?
01:10:14No, no, I've had enough.
01:10:16Trust me.
01:10:16No, you need more.
01:10:17No, don't do that.
01:10:19Oh, that's...
01:10:20I don't want you to do it.
01:10:23Oh, God.
01:10:27Hang on.
01:10:28Just a minute.
01:10:31Hey, stop texting.
01:10:34Stop texting.
01:10:36I'm right here.
01:10:43I'll take that.
01:10:48Here's some shit.
01:10:54I'm sorry.
01:10:57I'm not good at this sort of thing.
01:10:59Is that...
01:10:59Is that a, like, maybe...
01:11:02Are you thinking of...
01:11:03You're not thinking of kissing me, are you?
01:11:06Just...
01:11:08Uh...
01:11:08Maybe I am.
01:11:11Oh, my God.
01:11:13You are...
01:11:13I mean, I...
01:11:14Uh, wow.
01:11:16That sort of thing is...
01:11:17No, I...
01:11:18Why?
01:11:20Wait, did you want to kiss me?
01:11:24No, you are...
01:11:25You are...
01:11:25You are...
01:11:25Because you're...
01:11:26Well, you're clearly not in the appropriate headspace to kiss anybody right now.
01:11:30What are you trying to say?
01:11:31And...
01:11:32Well, neither am I.
01:11:33I mean, I'm not in that space either, okay?
01:11:35Neither am I.
01:11:36I think he doesn't make a pretty good argument.
01:11:42Well, any woman...
01:11:43Or man...
01:11:44Would be lucky.
01:11:59Oh, okay.
01:12:01Wow.
01:12:02That was...
01:12:05Wow.
01:12:08Thanks.
01:12:10I took an online course.
01:12:11If that's any indication of what...
01:12:15Sex would be, like, with you, it would be like that.
01:12:20Yeah, of course it would be.
01:12:22Of course, because I'm...
01:12:24You know, a vulnerable place.
01:12:26And everything's just...
01:12:28Raw.
01:12:29And, um...
01:12:30And, of course, it's great right now, right?
01:12:32Because you're new and things with me and Josh are...
01:12:37It's probably this really distorted filter.
01:12:43So...
01:12:43No more kissing?
01:12:47Oh, sorry.
01:12:48Yep.
01:12:50Oh, gosh.
01:13:18Morning, sexy.
01:13:22Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:13:25Would you relax? We made out and you filled me up a little. That was it.
01:13:29Oh, I'm... I'm... I'm a monster. I'm a horrible person.
01:13:33I've done a very, very, very bad thing.
01:13:36Dude, you were trying to cheer me up, okay?
01:13:39I was all conflicted over the Gary thing and you were just helping me move on.
01:13:43You're a good friend.
01:13:44I've ruined everything forever.
01:13:48Um, and I'm in love with you.
01:13:58Oh.
01:14:03Hey, Kelly, I'm...
01:14:08I don't know what to say. I had no idea.
01:14:12Well, things between you and Emma look like they're falling apart.
01:14:16So...
01:14:17I just wanted you to know I'm here.
01:14:20I mean, we have fun together. We get along.
01:14:25I'm super fun.
01:14:29I think you could do a lot worse.
01:14:31Oh.
01:14:33God, no. I mean, of course. Worse.
01:14:36Look, you're... you're amazing.
01:14:38I know.
01:14:41So...
01:14:46I'm...
01:14:47I'm in love with Emma.
01:14:48She's the love of my life.
01:14:50I'm sorry, what was that?
01:14:52She...
01:14:54She's the one.
01:14:55She's always been the one for me.
01:14:57I'm... I want to be with her...
01:15:00Forever. I mean, no matter what.
01:15:01Tell me again.
01:15:07Oh my god, you...
01:15:09You're fucking with me!
01:15:11Again!
01:15:11Oh!
01:15:12It worked!
01:15:13You know what?
01:15:15You...
01:15:15You know you have a problem?
01:15:17You have a series of problems.
01:15:18You're disturbed.
01:15:19Um, I just saved your marriage.
01:15:21So you're welcome.
01:15:22Please, you don't even believe in marriage.
01:15:24No, just because I think monogamy is a fundamentally flawed and antiquated construct
01:15:28doesn't mean it's bullshit for everyone.
01:15:30And you have to go pick up your...
01:15:32offspring.
01:15:34Hey, is this room on your credit card?
01:15:37Yeah, why?
01:15:38I'm gonna order room service.
01:15:41Oh, hey.
01:15:43Hey, psst.
01:15:45Happy anniversary.
01:15:49Oh, shit.
01:15:50Right.
01:16:28Josh?
01:16:39Em, we gotta go! We're gonna be late!
01:16:44Em?
01:17:05Wendy!
01:17:06What the fuck?
01:17:07What?
01:17:09Where's Josh?
01:17:10I'm sorry.
01:17:11I just...
01:17:12I didn't mean to trick you.
01:17:13I just didn't know how I was to get you alone.
01:17:15I needed to talk to you.
01:17:16Now?
01:17:17In a motel?
01:17:19Well, you said you'd never had sex on a swing before, right?
01:17:23Where's this swing?
01:17:26Oh, my God.
01:17:27Jesus.
01:17:28That, I...
01:17:30Wendy, I was just, like, spitballing.
01:17:32You had said you wanted to try a swing, and Josh had never done that for you, and I think...
01:17:39I think things between you are broken.
01:17:42Actually, my relationship with Josh is the only thing that isn't broken.
01:17:47Wendy, I'm so sorry for fucking everything up between us, okay?
01:17:53I'm really sorry.
01:17:54You just came alive that night, and you woke me up, and I know you felt something, too.
01:17:59Just give me one more chance.
01:18:01I didn't.
01:18:02I was faking.
01:18:03I'm sorry.
01:18:04I didn't.
01:18:05I...
01:18:06And we already tried that, and look where it got us.
01:18:08Look at this.
01:18:09This is weird.
01:18:12Okay, so...
01:18:13Fine, so you just want to make out a little, or...
01:18:15No!
01:18:16No!
01:18:18Well...
01:18:19What about the sex swing?
01:18:21You have no idea how hard it was for me to put up that thing.
01:18:24I don't...
01:18:25I don't want to make out.
01:18:26I don't want to have sex on the sex swing.
01:18:27Ugh.
01:18:28I just want...
01:18:29I just want to erase everything, and have my friend back.
01:18:34Okay?
01:18:35Can I please have my friend back?
01:18:37Like, without the sex stuff.
01:18:40Please.
01:18:43Yes, you can leave your friend back.
01:18:47You know, it was maybe once in a while.
01:18:50Down the road.
01:18:52We're really drunk sometime in the vibes, right?
01:18:55No, no.
01:18:56Not gonna happen.
01:18:58Not gonna happen.
01:19:01If I go to leave, you promise you're not gonna punch me in the throat?
01:19:06You promise I will not punch you in the throat.
01:19:12You can really push.
01:19:14Tricky one.
01:19:26Don!
01:19:28Don!
01:19:29Gracie!
01:19:32Surprise!
01:19:37Daddy!
01:19:38Hey!
01:19:39Happy anniversary!
01:19:40Were you surprised?
01:19:41Yes, I was surprised.
01:19:42Where's mommy?
01:19:45That's...
01:19:46I'm gonna tell you in one sec.
01:19:48So just hold on.
01:19:51Wow, Arthur.
01:19:53Worth a surprise.
01:19:54Well, I thought it'd be good for you guys to come back here.
01:19:57Old memories.
01:20:00Yeah.
01:20:01So, where's my Emma?
01:20:03Ha!
01:20:04Right.
01:20:05I will get to that.
01:20:07Hi, everybody!
01:20:08Hi!
01:20:08Thank you for being here.
01:20:10Oh, hello.
01:20:12It's, uh...
01:20:12Oh!
01:20:13That seems unnecessary.
01:20:17Um...
01:20:18So, it's really, uh...
01:20:19It's unexpected to see you all here.
01:20:21This is, uh...
01:20:22It's been a long time since I've been in this room,
01:20:24and, um...
01:20:25You know, seeing all your familiar faces here, it's weird.
01:20:28It's like...
01:20:28Because it's out of context.
01:20:30Dad?
01:20:30Yeah?
01:20:31You're being super awkward.
01:20:34Yeah.
01:20:35Seriously, where's mom?
01:20:39Mom.
01:20:39Where's mom?
01:20:41So, I...
01:20:43I bet you're all wondering where Emma is.
01:20:45Funny story.
01:20:51You know how sometimes, when you wake up, right?
01:20:55So, Emma...
01:20:55So, this is...
01:20:56This is a good one.
01:20:58So, when you...
01:20:59When Emma...
01:21:00Well, she wakes up.
01:21:02And...
01:21:04I...
01:21:05Look...
01:21:06She's here.
01:21:07She just pulled up.
01:21:08All of Robert?
01:21:09Everybody been here?
01:21:10Oh.
01:21:11It's time.
01:21:13Mom's here.
01:21:14Party begins.
01:21:15Yay!
01:21:21Hey.
01:21:23I went by the house to pick you up.
01:21:25I know.
01:21:25It's a long story.
01:21:27I'll tell you later.
01:21:28Okay.
01:21:30Mom...
01:21:31Wendy told me that all our friends and family are in there.
01:21:35Guess you were right about my dad's big plan.
01:21:40I...
01:21:40I...
01:21:41I have to tell you something.
01:21:43Um...
01:21:43I, um...
01:21:44I made out with...
01:21:46Kelly...
01:21:47Last night.
01:21:48I...
01:21:48Might have touched her boobs a little...
01:21:52Different Kelly.
01:21:54But I only did it because I thought that...
01:21:56That you slept with Marlon.
01:21:58Shh.
01:21:58I didn't sleep with Marlon.
01:22:00Yeah.
01:22:00I...
01:22:00I know.
01:22:01I know that now.
01:22:03Of course you...
01:22:04Of course you didn't sleep with Marlon.
01:22:06Idiot.
01:22:11I am so sorry.
01:22:13Just shut up.
01:22:13I love you.
01:22:20I love you.
01:22:21I love you.
01:22:21I love you.
01:22:22I love you.
01:22:22I love you.
01:22:23I love you.
01:22:23I love you.
01:22:23I love you.
01:22:23That was all crazy.
01:22:24You saw my parents having group sex.
01:22:28It's a metaphor.
01:22:29Yeah.
01:22:30The sex club that we went to.
01:22:33That weird room.
01:22:34Oh my god.
01:22:35That was so weird.
01:22:36The bunny lady.
01:22:37Yes.
01:22:38Those horse guys.
01:22:39Oh yeah.
01:22:40Oh.
01:22:40By the way.
01:22:41They're here.
01:22:42Your dad must do.
01:22:44I'm sorry.
01:22:44For the love of god.
01:22:45Why is no one turning this off?
01:22:47What?
01:22:48Do you know where we are?
01:22:50Yeah.
01:22:51This is the...
01:22:52This is the exact spot.
01:22:53This is the spot.
01:22:54Oh my god.
01:22:55Yeah.
01:22:55It was uh...
01:22:56It was disco night.
01:22:58I was...
01:22:59You went back to your cabin.
01:23:00You were walking back.
01:23:02And then...
01:23:02You tapped me on the shoulder.
01:23:04And I turned around and you beamed in with this confidence.
01:23:17We're teens.
01:23:20We're 20s.
01:23:21God.
01:23:22We're not those people anymore.
01:23:25No.
01:23:27We're not.
01:23:29Mommy!
01:23:30Mommy!
01:23:31Hey!
01:23:32You guys!
01:23:41Hey!
01:23:44Hey!
01:23:45Hey!
01:23:46Let's go, let's go.
01:23:47We're playing.
01:23:47Come on, guys.
01:23:49Daddy, please stop saying that words because we could hear everything you say.
01:23:55Oh dear.
01:23:55That...
01:23:56No.
01:23:56That's not good.
01:23:59What's a sex club?
01:24:09I've got you down to a science
01:24:13But you don't stand a chance
01:24:16You're playing tricks, girl
01:24:19You can't deny it
01:24:22But you don't stand a chance
01:24:28You've got to butter me up
01:24:36Don't you hurt my precious ego
01:24:41You'll know what to do
01:24:45Don't go saying things to be nasty
01:24:49Unless you follow through
01:24:57You've got to butter me up
01:25:02You've got to butter me up
01:25:06You've got to butter me up
01:25:12Butter me up
01:25:15You've got to butter me up
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