00:00:12Welcome to the Texas Death Drippin' Movie.
00:00:15I'm Stoner Jesus, and we should get this out of the way now.
00:00:20You are all going to hell.
00:00:24Seriously, this stuff is pretty messed up.
00:00:27Enjoy the movie.
00:00:57I'm Stoner Jesus.
00:01:13I'm Stoner Jesus.
00:01:14I'm Stoner Jesus.
00:01:15I'm Stoner Jesus.
00:01:15What's up, motherfucker?
00:01:17How you doing, man?
00:01:18Hey. Great. How you doing?
00:01:21So, I got to know, are you ready for the greatest three-day stoner rock festival to ever grace the
00:01:28beautiful state of fucking Texas?
00:01:34Let's get it.
00:01:42Dude, I can't stand him.
00:01:45I mean, I hate everyone, but he, he's the worst.
00:01:51Fuck, Sid.
00:01:52You got to be kidding me.
00:01:54It's, don't tell me it's...
00:01:58Andy!
00:02:00Aloha, my brother!
00:02:02Captain, my captain.
00:02:12How's the swinging gentlemen?
00:02:16So, check it out.
00:02:17I pulled off the big score.
00:02:20It's, it's, it's an ass.
00:02:24Nice.
00:02:28Wait.
00:02:30Let me see.
00:02:32Oh, yeah, that's a naked booty.
00:02:36Yep, and it's attached to my trip date.
00:02:39Sheena Starr, fucking internet and cosplay sensation, has over a million followers.
00:02:44Oh, wow.
00:02:47An online model.
00:02:49So rare.
00:02:50So lucky you are.
00:02:52I'm going to be knee-deep in vagina hole while you're pulling on your joystick, bud.
00:03:05Oh, yes, it's left up here.
00:03:08GPS says we're close.
00:03:09All right.
00:03:12All right.
00:03:13All right.
00:03:31Don't worry, bud.
00:03:33Things get bad.
00:03:35I'll let you blow me.
00:03:37Thanks.
00:03:38You're the best.
00:03:50Boom-tang.
00:03:53Boom-tang for everybody.
00:04:07P-U-N-T-P-U-N-T-P-U-N-T-P-U-N-T-P-U-N-T
00:04:16-P-U-N-T-P-U-N-T-P-U-N-T-P-U-N-T-P-U-N-T
00:04:18-P-U-N-T-P-U-N-T-P-U-N-T-P-U-N-T-P-U-N-T
00:04:18-P-U-N-T-P-U-N-T-P-U-N-T-P-U-N-T-P-U-N-T
00:04:19-P-U-N-T-P-U-N-T-P-U-N-T-P-U-N-T-P-U-N-T
00:04:19-P-U-N-T-P-U-N-T-P-U-N
00:04:37Okay.
00:04:38Okay.
00:04:42This one.
00:04:44Wee and pussy.
00:04:46Wee and pussy.
00:04:48Wee and pussy.
00:04:50Wee and pussy.
00:04:58Wee and pussy.
00:05:00Wee and pussy.
00:05:02Wee and pussy.
00:05:03Wee and pussy.
00:05:06Wee and pussy.
00:05:07Wee and pussy.
00:05:13Wee and pussy.
00:05:14Oh, Texas!
00:05:17Wait until we get there!
00:05:22Stone and Brian!
00:05:23Alright, here we come, Stoner Rack on the fucking way.
00:05:34Stoner Rack, with the one and only Merlin, that's who's gonna rock the fucking house,
00:05:45bitch. Merlin! Wee, bootay, soul, and Merlin! B-I-M-B-O! B-I-M-B-O! B-I-M
00:06:04-B-O! Bimbos!
00:06:05Woo! Texas, I hope you're ready for me, man. Because I am high fructose porn syrup! Porn! Porn! Porn! Porn!
00:06:25Porn!
00:06:26I got this shit.
00:06:35I went there for you.
00:06:38I got this shit.
00:06:43Why did I feel like That?
00:07:02I got this shit.
00:07:11Welcome to the love van, your chariot awaits.
00:07:18You guys look like you just played rock, paper, scissors to see who gets to sit next to me.
00:07:25Basically.
00:07:31Don't just stare at it.
00:08:01Oh, so I hope you guys don't mind, I told my girl Theresa she could come along.
00:08:17What's up bitches?
00:08:19Hey girl.
00:08:28What do we say?
00:08:30What do we say?
00:08:34What do we say?
00:08:34What do we say?
00:08:36What do we say?
00:08:48What do we say?
00:09:04Oh, mama, mama, mama, mama, mama, you're gonna suck it to me, oh, you're gonna suck me, mama, mama, you're
00:09:13gonna suck it to me, mama, mama's gonna suck it to me, mama, gonna suck it to me, mama, gonna
00:09:19suck it to me.
00:09:36Damn. Damn, son. Turn it up on my asshole. What the fuck?
00:09:42Oh, God.
00:10:00Maloney. B-O-L-N-G-A-R.
00:10:07Oh.
00:10:21May I say?
00:10:24God damn, you're even hotter in person.
00:10:29Yeah, Randy. Yeah, I am.
00:10:31Actually, it's Andy.
00:10:32Do you guys want to smoke a joint?
00:10:35Dude, she's hokey.
00:10:37Yeah.
00:10:38Yeah.
00:10:50Yeah.
00:10:53Yeah.
00:10:58Yeah.
00:11:04Yeah.
00:11:05Yeah.
00:11:06Yeah.
00:11:18Yeah.
00:11:22Yeah.
00:11:26Yeah.
00:11:29Yeah.
00:11:31Yeah.
00:11:33Yeah.
00:11:34Yeah.
00:11:38Yeah.
00:11:39Yeah.
00:11:40Yeah.
00:11:41Yeah.
00:11:54Yeah.
00:11:56Yeah.
00:12:00Yeah.
00:12:00Yeah.
00:12:12Yeah.
00:12:12Yeah.
00:12:12Andi, what have you guys do?
00:12:14Hashtag.
00:12:15Oh, my God.
00:12:17Oh, my God.
00:12:19Holy shit.
00:12:22Anya's a double boner.
00:12:23This rules.
00:12:26Oh, shit.
00:12:28it. Oh my god. Who's driving? So basically my Instagram blew up about a year ago and then I
00:12:56got into modeling and that's all I do full-time now. So I'm good. Looks like her joint knocked you
00:13:03on your ass a little bit. Did you doze off? Andy? Are you alright? Are you kidding me right now
00:13:10baby metal? Andy! Are you okay? Are you okay Andy? Are you ready to party or what?
00:13:26I got us a little something for the festival. Whoa! Where'd you get that? Rodrigo. Your homie's a fun guy.
00:13:37Most people get the shits from shrooms. Just saying. God damn it! Told you to never talk to that scumbag
00:13:45again.
00:13:46Rodrigo's trash, dooter. Damn. Straight betrayal.
00:13:51Kyle. I heard he got this girl pregnant at my old school. He's cool. He's cool. No. He's kind of
00:14:02a scumbag.
00:14:04Fuck. Fuck.
00:14:24I'm a crack dealer at the Cecil Hotel and he's here.
00:14:34Oh.
00:14:36I'll teach you about the economics.
00:14:43So the Muppet comes to me for some candy.
00:14:48Well, yeah. I figured you knew where to score some shrooms.
00:14:52Shut the fuck up, pretty boy.
00:14:56You hear that?
00:14:58That's the sound of adventure.
00:15:01Yes.
00:15:03This will definitely make the trip trippier.
00:15:14You want a bump for the road?
00:15:17Oh, no. No thanks.
00:15:26Malachi!
00:15:28I forgot you were here.
00:15:29I forgot you're alive.
00:15:30What's going on here?
00:15:32Did I interrupt something, uh, kinky?
00:15:34He looks kind of young.
00:15:37R. Kelly?
00:15:39No, no, dude.
00:15:41I'm just here to probably see him here with one.
00:15:46Drugs?
00:15:47You mean like Tide Pods?
00:15:50No, that's not my style, dog.
00:16:14Wow, you're such a good storyteller.
00:16:21Don't be filling up on processed bullshit now, guys.
00:16:25I'm going to the first spot that's close so we can camp for the night.
00:16:28I'm making my famous bowl of chili.
00:16:33Where the fuck are we?
00:16:36A small town called...
00:16:39Dark Marsh.
00:16:4140 miles outside of Galveston.
00:16:44On your way to Houston.
00:16:48Google Maps ain't got shit on that.
00:16:56Ew.
00:16:57Who's the creep playing pocket pool?
00:16:58You kids need to get in and get out and get to where you're going.
00:17:02It's very dangerous around here.
00:17:04I recommend not stopping until you reach the next range, man.
00:17:08Look out.
00:17:35I want to taste it.
00:22:19No.
00:24:01We're right back.
00:30:15We're right back.
00:43:06It's come true.
00:52:25We're right back.
00:54:53You're right back.
00:55:20We're right back.
00:55:45We're right back.
00:56:11We're right back.
00:56:36We're right back.
00:57:09We're right back.
00:57:18We're right back.
00:57:47We're right back.
00:58:40We're right back.
00:59:16We're right back.
00:59:39We're right back.
01:00:14Sheriff's office.
01:00:19We're right back.
01:00:46We're right back.
01:00:49We're right back.
01:00:59We're right back.
01:01:41We're right back.
01:01:48We're right back.
01:02:45We're right back.
01:02:46We're right back.
01:02:50We're right back.
01:02:54We're right back.
01:03:22We're right back.
01:03:44We're right back.
01:03:49We're right back.
01:04:43We're right back.
01:04:47We're right back.
01:04:48We're right back.
01:05:11We're right back.
01:05:40We're right back.
01:05:54We're right back.
01:06:34We're right back.
01:06:37We're right back.
01:07:04We're right back.
01:07:42We're right back.
01:07:44We're right back.
01:08:26We're right back.
01:08:57We're right back.
01:09:00We're right back.
01:09:49We're right back.
01:09:58We're right back.
01:10:05We're right back.
01:10:24We're right back.
01:10:40We're right back.
01:10:44We're right back.
01:11:40We're right back.
01:11:48We're right back.
01:11:50We're right back.
01:12:35We're right back.
01:12:38We're right back.
01:12:54We're right back.
01:13:19We're right back.
01:13:49We're right back.
01:13:52We're right back.
01:14:20We're right back.
01:14:33We're right back.
01:15:14We're right back.
01:15:42We're right back.
01:15:46We're right back.
01:16:16We're right back.
01:16:33We're right back.
01:17:02We're right back.
01:17:04We're right back.
01:17:47Tonight,
01:18:04We're right back.
01:18:34We're right back.
01:19:02We're right back.
01:19:14We're right back.
01:20:02We're right back.
01:20:03We're right back.
01:20:40We're right back.
01:21:03We're right back.
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