00:00:12Welcome to the Texas Death Drippin' Movie.
00:00:15I'm Stoner Jesus, and we should get this out of the way now.
00:00:20You are all going to hell.
00:00:24Seriously, this stuff is pretty messed up.
00:00:27Enjoy the movie.
00:00:57I'm Stoner Jesus.
00:01:23I'm Stoner Jesus.
00:01:27Let's go to every great, so beautiful state of fucking Texas.
00:01:34Let's get it.
00:01:42Dude, I can't stand him.
00:01:45I mean, I hate everyone, but he, he's the worst.
00:01:51Fuck, Sid.
00:01:52You gotta be kidding me.
00:01:55It's, don't tell me, it's...
00:01:58Andy!
00:02:00Aloha, my brother!
00:02:02Captain, my captain.
00:02:13How's the swinging gentleman?
00:02:16So check it out.
00:02:17I pulled off the big score.
00:02:20It's, it's, it's an ass.
00:02:24Nice.
00:02:29Wait, let me see.
00:02:32Oh, yeah, that's a naked booty.
00:02:36Yep, and it's attached to my trip date.
00:02:39Sheena Starr, fucking internet and cosplay sensation, has over a million followers.
00:02:43Oh, wow.
00:02:47An online model.
00:02:49So rare.
00:02:50So lucky you are.
00:02:52I'm gonna be knee-deep in vagina hole while you're pulling on your joystick, bud.
00:03:05Oh, yes, it's left up here.
00:03:08GPS says we're close.
00:03:09All right.
00:03:31Don't worry, bud.
00:03:33Things get bad.
00:03:35I'll let you blow me.
00:03:37Thanks.
00:03:38You're the best.
00:03:50Poong-tang.
00:03:52Poong-tang for everybody.
00:03:55Poong-tang.
00:03:57No.
00:04:07P-U-N-T.
00:04:10P-U-N-T.
00:04:16A-N-G.
00:04:18Okay, here we go.
00:04:36Okay!
00:04:38Ooh!
00:04:42Weeks in pussy, we the pussy, ooh, we pussy.
00:04:57Sweet in pussy, sweet in pussy, sweet in pussy.
00:05:05We
00:05:15Oh, Texas, you're going to
00:05:17Wait till we get there
00:05:22Stone and Rock
00:05:24Here we come
00:05:27Stone and Rock
00:05:28Stone and Rock
00:05:35With the one
00:05:38And only
00:05:41Merlin
00:05:42That's who's going to rock the fucking house, bitch
00:05:46Merlin
00:05:49We
00:05:50Boutain
00:05:52Stone and Merlin
00:05:57B-I-M-B-O
00:05:59B-I-M-B-O
00:06:02B-I-M-B-O
00:06:04B-I-M-B-O
00:06:05B-I-M-B-O
00:06:05B-I-M-B-O
00:06:12Texas, I hope you're ready for me, man
00:06:15Because I am high-fructose
00:06:17Porn syrup
00:06:18Porn, porn, porn, porn, porn
00:06:25I got this shit
00:06:27Porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn,
00:06:33porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn,
00:06:36porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn,
00:06:39porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn,
00:06:40porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn,
00:06:41porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn, porn,
00:07:11Welcome to the love van, your chariot awaits.
00:07:18You guys look like you just played rock, paper, scissors to see who gets to sit next
00:07:22to me.
00:07:25Basically.
00:07:31Don't just stare at it.
00:08:01Oh, so I hope you guys don't mind.
00:08:04I told my girl Theresa she could come along.
00:08:17What's up, bitches?
00:08:19Hey, girl.
00:08:28What do we say?
00:08:30What do we say?
00:08:55Tonight, tonight, tonight.
00:09:04Oh, mama, mama, mama.
00:09:06You're gonna suck it to me.
00:09:08What do you think?
00:09:11Mama?
00:09:12Mama, you're gonna suck it to me.
00:09:16Mama's gonna suck it to me.
00:09:17Mama's gonna suck it to me.
00:09:19My uncle, suck it to me.
00:09:35Damn. Damn, son.
00:09:39Turn me up on my asshole. What the fuck?
00:09:42Oh, God.
00:09:45Ah, I don't think I was surprised at that.
00:09:50Ah, I don't think I was surprised at that.
00:10:00Baloney.
00:10:02B-O-L-N-G-A-R.
00:10:07Oh, yeah.
00:10:10Oh.
00:10:14D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d.
00:10:17D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d
00:10:21-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d.
00:10:22May I say, god damn, you're even hotter in person.
00:10:29Yeah, Randy. Yeah, I am.
00:10:31Actually, it's andy.
00:10:32Do you guys wanna smoke a joint?
00:10:35Dude, she's hella cool.
00:10:37Yeah.
00:11:07Your soul is a melting ground upon an altar underground.
00:11:18Watch your son belong alone.
00:11:22Doesn't seem but the heart is so hard.
00:11:27The humans will never die.
00:11:30So the brain is in the kitchen.
00:11:33That's whoo!
00:11:37Fuck it.
00:11:39So Sheena, like Joe Average that follows you gets to see your ass on the daily, right?
00:11:44Does that mean your Korean followers get to see your butthole?
00:11:49And how exactly does that work?
00:11:50Excuse you?
00:11:52Wow, this dude is terrific.
00:11:55I'm sorry, hot chicks.
00:11:56I'm just curious.
00:11:57And I get really horny when I get stoned.
00:12:06We all do.
00:12:08Oh my god.
00:12:11Me too!
00:12:14Hashtag!
00:12:15Oh my god.
00:12:17Oh my god.
00:12:19Holy shit!
00:12:21And he has a double boner.
00:12:23This rules.
00:12:30Oh my god.
00:12:34Who's driving?
00:12:52So basically my Instagram blew up about a year ago.
00:12:55And then I got into modeling and that's all I do full time now.
00:12:59So I'm good.
00:13:01Looks like her joint knocked you on your ass a little bit.
00:13:05Did you doze off?
00:13:07Andy?
00:13:08Are you alright?
00:13:09Are you kidding me right now, baby metal?
00:13:11Andy!
00:13:12Are you okay?
00:13:14Are you okay, Andy?
00:13:20Are you ready to party or what?
00:13:25I got us a little something for the festival.
00:13:28Whoa!
00:13:30Where'd you get that?
00:13:33Rodrigo.
00:13:34Your homie's a fun guy.
00:13:37Most people get the shits from shrooms.
00:13:40Just saying.
00:13:41God damn it!
00:13:42Told you to never talk to that scumbag again.
00:13:46Rodrigo's trash, duder.
00:13:49Damn.
00:13:50Straight betrayal.
00:13:52I heard he got this girl pregnant at my old school.
00:13:57He's cool.
00:13:58He's cool.
00:13:59No.
00:14:00He's kind of a scumbag.
00:14:28He's kind of a scumbag.
00:14:30He's mean he needs to sing.
00:14:34No.
00:14:36He's legit.
00:14:36I teach you about the Egonomics.
00:14:43So, the Muppet comes to me for some candy.
00:14:48Well, yeah, I figured you knew where to score some shrooms.
00:14:52Shut the fuck up, pretty boy.
00:14:56You hear that?
00:14:58That's the sound of adventure.
00:15:02Yes, this will definitely make the trip trippier.
00:15:14You want a bump for the road?
00:15:17Oh, no.
00:15:19No thanks.
00:15:27Malachi!
00:15:28I forgot you were here.
00:15:29I forgot you're alive.
00:15:31What's going on here?
00:15:32Did I interrupt something kinky?
00:15:34He looks kind of young.
00:15:37R. Kelly?
00:15:39No, no, dude.
00:15:41I'm just here to pass the injury.
00:15:42I'm just here with one.
00:15:46Drugs?
00:15:47You mean like Tide Pods?
00:15:50No, that's not my style, dog.
00:15:57Oh, shit.
00:16:01Oh, my God.
00:16:03You're bad.
00:16:03You serious?
00:16:05Are you serious?
00:16:07Holy shit, dude.
00:16:09Oh, that's too much.
00:16:12Are you kidding me?
00:16:14Wow.
00:16:15You're such a good storyteller.
00:16:17Yes!
00:16:19Oh, fuck.
00:16:22Don't be filling up on processed bullshit now, guys.
00:16:25I'm going to the first spot that's close so we can camp for the night.
00:16:28I'm making my famous bowl of chili.
00:16:33Where the fuck are we?
00:16:36A small town called...
00:16:39Dark Marsh.
00:16:40Oh.
00:16:4140 miles outside of Galveston.
00:16:44On your way to Houston.
00:16:48Google Maps ain't got shit on that.
00:16:56Ew.
00:16:57Who's the creep playing pocket pool?
00:16:58You kids need to get in and get out and get to where you're going.
00:17:02It's very dangerous around here.
00:17:04I recommend not stopping until you reach the next wave to.
00:22:19No.
00:24:01We're right back.
00:30:15We're right back.
00:43:06It's come true.
00:52:25We're right back.
00:54:53You're right back.
00:55:20We're right back.
00:55:45We're right back.
00:56:11We're right back.
00:56:36We're right back.
00:57:09We're right back.
00:57:18We're right back.
00:57:47We're right back.
00:58:40We're right back.
00:59:16We're right back.
00:59:39We're right back.
01:00:14Sheriff's office.
01:00:19We're right back.
01:00:46We're right back.
01:00:49We're right back.
01:00:59We're right back.
01:01:41We're right back.
01:01:48We're right back.
01:02:45We're right back.
01:02:46We're right back.
01:02:50We're right back.
01:02:54We're right back.
01:03:22We're right back.
01:03:44We're right back.
01:03:49We're right back.
01:04:43We're right back.
01:04:47We're right back.
01:04:48We're right back.
01:05:11We're right back.
01:05:40We're right back.
01:05:54We're right back.
01:06:34We're right back.
01:06:37We're right back.
01:07:04We're right back.
01:07:42We're right back.
01:07:44We're right back.
01:08:26We're right back.
01:08:57We're right back.
01:09:00We're right back.
01:09:49We're right back.
01:09:58We're right back.
01:10:05We're right back.
01:10:24We're right back.
01:10:40We're right back.
01:10:44We're right back.
01:11:40We're right back.
01:11:48We're right back.
01:11:50We're right back.
01:12:35We're right back.
01:12:38We're right back.
01:12:54We're right back.
01:13:19We're right back.
01:13:49We're right back.
01:13:52We're right back.
01:14:20We're right back.
01:14:33We're right back.
01:15:14We're right back.
01:15:42We're right back.
01:15:46We're right back.
01:16:16We're right back.
01:16:33We're right back.
01:17:02We're right back.
01:17:04We're right back.
01:17:47Tonight,
01:18:04We're right back.
01:18:34We're right back.
01:19:02We're right back.
01:19:14We're right back.
01:20:02We're right back.
01:20:03We're right back.
01:20:40We're right back.
01:21:03We're right back.
Comments