00:00:12Welcome to the Texas Death Drippin' Movie.
00:00:15I'm Stoner Jesus, and we should get this out of the way now.
00:00:20You are all going to hell.
00:00:24Seriously, this stuff is pretty messed up.
00:00:27Enjoy the movie.
00:00:57I'm Stoner Jesus.
00:01:14I'm Stoner Jesus.
00:01:15I'm Stoner Jesus.
00:01:15What's up, motherfucker?
00:01:17How you doing, man?
00:01:18Hey, great.
00:01:19How you doing?
00:01:20Good.
00:01:21So, I got to know, are you ready for the greatest three-day stoner rock festival to ever face the
00:01:28beautiful state of fucking Texas?
00:01:34Let's get it.
00:01:42Dude, I can't stand him.
00:01:45I mean, I hate everyone, but he, he's the worst.
00:01:51Fuck, Sid.
00:01:52You got to be kidding me.
00:01:54It's, don't tell me it's...
00:01:58Andy!
00:02:00Aloha, my brother!
00:02:02Captain, my captain.
00:02:12How's the swinging gentlemen?
00:02:16So, check it out.
00:02:17I pulled off the big score.
00:02:20It's, it's, it's an ass.
00:02:24Nice.
00:02:28Wait.
00:02:30Let me see.
00:02:32Oh, yeah, that's a naked booty.
00:02:36Yep, and it's attached to my trip date.
00:02:39Sheena Starr, fucking internet and cosplay sensation, has over a million followers.
00:02:44Oh, wow.
00:02:47An online model.
00:02:49So rare.
00:02:50So lucky you are.
00:02:52I'm going to be knee-deep in vagina hole while you're pulling on your joystick, bud.
00:03:05Oh, yes, it's left up here.
00:03:08GPS says we're close.
00:03:09All right.
00:03:12All right.
00:03:13All right.
00:03:31Don't worry, bud.
00:03:33Things get bad.
00:03:35I'll let you blow me.
00:03:37Thanks.
00:03:38You're the best.
00:03:50Boom-tang.
00:03:53Boom-tang for everybody.
00:04:06P-U-N-T.
00:04:10P-U-N-T.
00:04:11Boom-tang.
00:04:11Boom.
00:04:12P-U-N-T.
00:04:16A-M-G.
00:04:19Boom-tang, bud.
00:04:23Boom.
00:04:23This is, here we go.
00:04:37Booty!
00:04:43Breeze and pussy.
00:04:46Oui, pussy.
00:04:48Oui, oui, pussy.
00:04:50Oui, pussy.
00:04:54Yeah, nice ass.
00:04:58Weed and pussy.
00:05:00Weed and pussy.
00:05:04Weed and pussy.
00:05:06Weed and pussy.
00:05:07Wee, woo, wee.
00:05:13Weed and pussy.
00:05:15Oh, Texas, you're gonna
00:05:17wait till we
00:05:19wait till we get there.
00:05:21Stoner Rock.
00:05:24Here we go.
00:05:27Stoner Rock on the foot.
00:05:30Man.
00:05:34Stoner Rock.
00:05:36With the one
00:05:38and only
00:05:41Merlin.
00:05:43That's who's gonna rock the
00:05:45fuckin' house, bitch.
00:05:47Merlin!
00:05:50Weed,
00:05:51putain,
00:05:53soul,
00:05:54Merlin!
00:05:57B-I-M-B-O!
00:05:59B-I-M-B-O!
00:06:02B-I-M-B-O!
00:06:03B-I-M-B-O!
00:06:04B-I-M-B-O!
00:06:05B-I-M-B-O!
00:06:12Texas, I hope you're ready for me, man.
00:06:15Cause I am high fructose
00:06:17porn syrup!
00:06:19Porn! Porn! Porn! Porn! Porn! Porn! Porn!
00:06:22Porn! Porn!
00:06:26Get this shit.
00:06:27You
00:07:11Welcome to the love van.
00:07:14Your chariot awaits.
00:07:18You guys look like you just played rock, paper, scissors to see who gets to sit next to me.
00:07:25Basically.
00:07:31Don't just stare at it.
00:07:39Okay.
00:08:01Oh, so I hope you guys don't mind.
00:08:04I told my girl Teresa she could come along.
00:08:17What's up, bitches?
00:08:19Hey, girl.
00:08:29What did we say?
00:08:55Tonight, tonight, tonight.
00:09:04Oh, mamma's, mama, mama.
00:09:06Mama you're gonna suck it to me.
00:09:08Oh you're gonna suck me.
00:09:11Mama!
00:09:12Mama you're gonna suck it to me.
00:09:14Mama, mama's gonna suck it to me.
00:09:17Mama gonna, mmmmm, suck it to me.
00:09:36Damn. Damn, son. Turn the boomer ass on. What the f***?
00:09:42Oh, God.
00:10:00Maloney. B-O-L-N-G-A-R.
00:10:22May I say?
00:10:24God damn, you're even hotter in person.
00:10:29Yeah, Randy. Yeah, I am.
00:10:31Actually, it's Andy.
00:10:32Do you guys want to smoke a joint?
00:10:35Dude, she's hokey.
00:10:37Yeah.
00:10:58Your life is a twisted nerve, struck into a psychotic curve.
00:11:07Your soul is a melting crown, upon an altar underground.
00:11:18Oh.
00:11:24Oh.
00:11:26Sorry.
00:11:28I'll never show up.
00:11:30So the brain comes to the kids.
00:11:33Woo!
00:11:37Fuck it.
00:11:38So, Sheena, like Joe Average that follows you
00:11:42gets to see your ass on the daily, right?
00:11:44Does that mean your Korean followers
00:11:47get to see your butthole?
00:11:48And how exactly does that work?
00:11:50Excuse you?
00:11:52Wow, this dude is terrific.
00:11:55I'm sorry, hot chicks.
00:11:56I'm just curious.
00:11:58And I get really horny when I get stoned.
00:12:06We all do.
00:12:08Oh my god.
00:12:11Me too!
00:12:14Hashtag!
00:12:15Oh my god.
00:12:17Oh my god.
00:12:19Holy shit!
00:12:22And he has a double boner.
00:12:23This rules.
00:12:30Oh my god.
00:12:32Oh my god.
00:12:34Who's driving?
00:12:52So basically, my Instagram blew up about a year ago, and then I got into modeling, and
00:12:57that's all I do full-time now.
00:12:59So I'm good.
00:13:01Looks like her joint knocked you on your ass a little bit.
00:13:05Did you doze off?
00:13:07Andy?
00:13:08Are you alright?
00:13:09Are you kidding me right now, baby metal?
00:13:11Andy!
00:13:12Are you okay?
00:13:15Are you okay, Andy?
00:13:20Are you ready to party, or what?
00:13:25I got us a little something for the festival.
00:13:28Whoa!
00:13:30Where'd you get that?
00:13:33Rodrigo.
00:13:34Your homie's a fun guy.
00:13:37Most people get the shits from shrimps.
00:13:39Just saying.
00:13:41God damn it!
00:13:42Told you to never talk to that scumbag again.
00:13:46Rodrigo's trash, dooter.
00:13:48Damn.
00:13:50Straight B trail.
00:13:52I heard he got this girl pregnant at my old school.
00:13:57He's cool, he's cool.
00:13:59No.
00:14:01He's kind of a scumbag.
00:14:03Fuck.
00:14:05Fuck.
00:14:07Ugh.
00:14:43So, the Muppet comes to me for some candy.
00:14:48Well, yeah, I figured you knew where to score some shrooms.
00:14:52Shut the fuck up, pretty boy.
00:14:56You hear that?
00:14:58That's the sound of adventure.
00:15:01Yes.
00:15:03This will definitely make the trip trippier.
00:15:14You want a bunk for the road?
00:15:17Oh, no.
00:15:19No thanks.
00:15:27Malachi!
00:15:28I forgot you were here.
00:15:29I forgot you're alive.
00:15:31What's going on here?
00:15:32Did I interrupt something, uh, kinky?
00:15:34He looks kind of young.
00:15:37R. Kelly?
00:15:39No, no, dude.
00:15:41I'm just here to pass these drugs, man.
00:15:46Drugs?
00:15:47You mean, like, Tide Pods?
00:15:50No, that's not my style, dog.
00:15:58Oh, shit.
00:16:01Oh, my God.
00:16:03You're bad.
00:16:03You serious?
00:16:08Holy shit, dude.
00:16:10Oh, that's too much.
00:16:12Are you kidding me?
00:16:14Wow.
00:16:15You're such a good storyteller.
00:16:17Yes!
00:16:21Don't be filling up on processed bullshit now, guys.
00:16:25I'm going to the first spot that's close so we can camp for the night.
00:16:28I'm making my famous bowl of chili.
00:16:33Where the fuck are we?
00:16:36A small town called...
00:16:39Dark Marsh.
00:16:40Oh.
00:16:4140 miles outside of Galveston, on your way to Houston.
00:16:48Google Maps ain't got shit on that.
00:16:56Ew.
00:16:57Who's the creep playing pocket pool?
00:16:58You kids need to get in and get out and get to where you're going.
00:17:02It's very dangerous around here.
00:17:04I recommend not stopping until you reach the next lane to me.
00:17:08Yes.
00:17:09Fuck.
00:17:13Here's what.
00:17:24Bye.
00:17:25Bye.
00:17:29Bye.
00:17:31Bye.
00:17:31Bye.
00:17:32Bye.
00:17:33Bye.
00:17:34Bye.
00:17:34Bye.
00:22:06We're right back.
00:23:59We're right back.
00:27:49Hey guys, I got a video call.
00:29:53We're right back.
00:30:39We're right back.
00:37:47I was drunk.
00:52:25We're right back.
00:54:53You're right back.
00:55:20We're right back.
00:55:45We're right back.
00:56:11We're right back.
00:56:36We're right back.
00:57:09We're right back.
00:57:18We're right back.
00:57:47We're right back.
00:58:40We're right back.
00:59:16We're right back.
00:59:39We're right back.
01:00:14Sheriff's office.
01:00:19We're right back.
01:00:46We're right back.
01:00:49We're right back.
01:00:59We're right back.
01:01:41We're right back.
01:01:48We're right back.
01:02:45We're right back.
01:02:46We're right back.
01:02:50We're right back.
01:02:54We're right back.
01:03:22We're right back.
01:03:44We're right back.
01:03:49We're right back.
01:04:43We're right back.
01:04:47We're right back.
01:04:48We're right back.
01:05:11We're right back.
01:05:40We're right back.
01:05:54We're right back.
01:06:34We're right back.
01:06:37We're right back.
01:07:04We're right back.
01:07:42We're right back.
01:07:44We're right back.
01:08:26We're right back.
01:08:57We're right back.
01:09:00We're right back.
01:09:49We're right back.
01:09:58We're right back.
01:10:05We're right back.
01:10:24We're right back.
01:10:40We're right back.
01:10:44We're right back.
01:11:40We're right back.
01:11:48We're right back.
01:11:50We're right back.
01:12:35We're right back.
01:12:38We're right back.
01:12:54We're right back.
01:13:19We're right back.
01:13:49We're right back.
01:13:52We're right back.
01:14:20We're right back.
01:14:33We're right back.
01:15:14We're right back.
01:15:42We're right back.
01:15:46We're right back.
01:16:16We're right back.
01:16:33We're right back.
01:17:02We're right back.
01:17:04We're right back.
01:17:47Tonight,
01:18:04We're right back.
01:18:34We're right back.
01:19:02We're right back.
01:19:14We're right back.
01:20:02We're right back.
01:20:03We're right back.
01:20:40We're right back.
01:21:03We're right back.
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