- 15 hours ago
Sex Education By My Best Friend Db
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:04New Intimacy Level Unlocked
00:00:11New Skin Dangerously Hot is Equipped
00:00:20You're staring, you like what you see?
00:00:23Maybe
00:00:32What are you going to tell me you really are?
00:00:34You know who I really am. I'm Valaqueen33.
00:00:37Such a dumb username.
00:00:39Oh, okay, guacamolewizard275. Don't talk to me about dumb usernames.
00:00:44You know, you're lucky you're cute.
00:00:45You don't even know what I look like.
00:00:47Oh, I would if you agreed to meet me in person. Or at least a photo.
00:00:52Maybe someday.
00:00:58I'm late.
00:00:59Good luck, Skylacher Queen.
00:01:04Who needs luck when I have my talisman to remind me of my knight?
00:01:11In the game of Castle Claimers, I might be a warrior princess in love with a dashing knight,
00:01:16but on my first day at Edmunds Academy, I feel like a peasant.
00:01:21Watch it! This isn't public school.
00:01:25Forget your training wheels!
00:01:28At least I have my knight's charm to help me get through the day.
00:01:42Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop the car!
00:01:46No!
00:01:48God, my knight's special talisman!
00:01:51It's ruined!
00:01:58He's so hot.
00:01:59Hey! I told you to stop the car!
00:02:06Oh my gosh, it's cold!
00:02:07He's so hot.
00:02:12Hey!
00:02:14What is wrong with you?
00:02:15Didn't you see me yelling and screaming for you to stop the car?
00:02:18Okay, I see you now, new girl.
00:02:20What do you want me to stop?
00:02:23What are you talking about?
00:02:24Why?
00:02:26I thought you were one of my fans.
00:02:28No, I'm not one of your fans!
00:02:32You just broke something that's really important to me!
00:02:34Yeah, I break a lot of hours by a cop.
00:02:36Okay?
00:02:39You should know that.
00:02:41I don't know who you are, but you were a...
00:02:43You were a...
00:02:47Asshole!
00:02:52All right.
00:02:54I broke something of yours.
00:02:56Sure, but...
00:02:57Hey!
00:02:58You got my attention.
00:03:01So, in that case, we're even.
00:03:09Don't do it, Hayley.
00:03:12Have a good day.
00:03:15Don't do it.
00:03:20Don't do it.
00:03:23Oh, fuck!
00:03:25Now we're even.
00:03:27My laptop better not be broken.
00:03:29I can't lose my connection to Valley Queen.
00:03:35You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:39You just made the wrong enemy.
00:03:42What?
00:03:42I'm going to make every classroom, every hallway, and every rumor in this school your personal nightmare.
00:03:50I'm going to make her life a living hell.
00:03:53What's going on?
00:03:54Cole's fighting the new girl.
00:03:56Now Cole's leaving the new girl.
00:03:58Yeah, idiot.
00:03:58I can see that.
00:04:01Just met an unhinged person.
00:04:03Good thing the universe balances it with you.
00:04:06Same.
00:04:07Ran into a certified asshole.
00:04:09Can't wait to see you in the game tonight.
00:04:14Cole, do you need help?
00:04:15I can help you.
00:04:18The new girl poured coffee on him.
00:04:20This bitch thinks that she can just roll up and piss off Michael.
00:04:23But he's not your Cole.
00:04:24Shut up, Lindsay.
00:04:26He's not yet.
00:04:28Hi.
00:04:32I'm Jen.
00:04:33And this is Lindsay.
00:04:34Hi.
00:04:36I'm Hayley.
00:04:37So nice to meet you.
00:04:38You have first day jitters?
00:04:39It's totally understandable.
00:04:41We want to make sure you feel really welcome.
00:04:43And so we'll take you to your locker.
00:04:44Come in.
00:04:45Right there.
00:04:47Let's go.
00:04:51There you go.
00:04:52Thanks so much.
00:05:01Oh!
00:05:02That's so good.
00:05:04Oh my God.
00:05:14Aw, you're welcome new girl.
00:05:16Honestly, it's kind of an improvement on your face.
00:05:24Guacamole wizard.
00:05:26Wow.
00:05:26What are you, catfishing some little lonely online gamer boy?
00:05:30Get it back.
00:05:31Hold on.
00:05:34Hey, if you go to Edmunds Academy, you should come to Locker 83 right now.
00:05:38Send.
00:05:39Here.
00:05:40Now your little gamer friend can see your ugly little face.
00:05:44So when can I meet the hero who ruined your billionaire shirt?
00:05:47I'm your friend first, Max.
00:05:49At least check on me.
00:05:50Oh, is that the online level?
00:05:52Ah, chill, please.
00:05:56No way.
00:05:58What is it?
00:05:59Oh, Belle Queen goes to the school.
00:06:06Please ignore that.
00:06:08Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:06:10Send.
00:06:15What is wrong with you?
00:06:16You mess with Cole Edmunds and you're gonna mess with me.
00:06:19Edmunds?
00:06:20What?
00:06:21You don't know that his family owns the whole school?
00:06:24Wow.
00:06:24You really did crawl out of the gutter, didn't you?
00:06:28Stop recording me!
00:06:31Jenna's a new girl.
00:06:33Wait.
00:06:34Is the new girl...
00:06:35Valley Queen?
00:06:38There's no way the new girl is Valley Queen.
00:06:41Could it be...
00:06:41Chen?
00:06:44Ew.
00:06:48Your enemy is our enemy, Cole.
00:06:50And I just made sure that the new girl knows that.
00:06:53No chances, Chen.
00:06:55So is it.
00:06:57She does look kinda cute.
00:07:00She does look good.
00:07:02She does look good.
00:07:05Please ignore that.
00:07:06Someone stole my phone and played a stupid prank.
00:07:09What was I thinking?
00:07:11Of course she's not my online lover.
00:07:16Hey there, buttercup.
00:07:18Keep walking, Hailey.
00:07:20Just keep walking.
00:07:21You got a problem with shaving this morning, or...?
00:07:24My name's Hailey.
00:07:26Wow.
00:07:26Hailey.
00:07:28I think you, uh...
00:07:29You used to spell on your upper lip right there.
00:07:34What a coincidence!
00:07:35So did you!
00:07:36Oh, no!
00:07:40Oh, I'm sorry.
00:07:41I forgot you don't even need shaving cream.
00:07:44You're just a man-child with follicle issues.
00:07:49Whoever ends up with her, I must have feeling the eye exam.
00:08:04I was so relieved to see you.
00:08:06Something happened today.
00:08:07I lost the game.
00:08:08I thought I'd never see you again.
00:08:11I think it's time we call this what it is.
00:08:14And what is this?
00:08:15What I think it is, is I want to be with you, and you want to be with me.
00:08:22As more than just friends.
00:08:24Oh, thank God.
00:08:26I honestly want that more than anything.
00:08:28You're my soulmate.
00:08:29Like, I like you so much.
00:08:31Okay, well, since we're dating now, um, I'm ready to send my photo.
00:08:36Wait, really?
00:08:38Yeah.
00:08:39Get ready.
00:08:45Okay.
00:08:47No face.
00:08:48Just the boobs.
00:08:50Is it a bad idea?
00:08:51But all my online friends said it's cool.
00:08:54PG-13 nudes are harmless.
00:08:56All the kids do this.
00:08:57You'll love it.
00:09:02This lighting hates me.
00:09:04Come on, Hayley.
00:09:06Confidence.
00:09:07You literally fight dragons online.
00:09:13Okay.
00:09:14Yeah.
00:09:15That's actually kind of-
00:09:20Oh, my God.
00:09:22Seriously?
00:09:23Hello?
00:09:24Anyone?
00:09:26Don't look at me!
00:09:31Don't look at me!
00:09:32We're trying not for viable, are we?
00:09:33I don't think you're supposed to do it like that.
00:09:35Get out!
00:09:36Now!
00:09:37Fine.
00:09:39Ow!
00:09:39Damn it!
00:09:44Come on.
00:10:07You're here!
00:10:07I have to try to...
00:10:08I'll do this.
00:10:08I'm not hungry.
00:10:08They're all hungry.
00:10:09They're all hungry.
00:10:11And he's hungry.
00:10:17you're helping me
00:10:18I won't, I didn't plan on it, but here we are
00:10:28excuse you, these boobs are for someone else
00:10:30I have a boyfriend, do we?
00:10:32that is shocking
00:10:33yeah, actually
00:10:35and he'd probably kill you right now if you saw him flirting with me
00:10:38flirting? yeah, don't lie to yourself
00:10:39I've got a girlfriend too
00:10:40my thoughts and prayers to her
00:10:42funny
00:10:44okay, well, can we just pretend this didn't happen and go her separate ways?
00:10:48fine by me
00:10:51oh, and um
00:10:54all the purple bra, by the way
00:10:56I like it in a weird way
00:10:57I mean, I am my type, but
00:11:00you know, power theory, or whatever
00:11:01could you just get out of here?
00:11:11hopefully, guacamole wizard will like it too
00:11:15Jen, red alert
00:11:16Cole and the new girl are for sure flirting
00:11:19I think it's time to take drastic action
00:11:23don't be a coward
00:11:24just send it
00:11:25Jen
00:11:30oh my god
00:11:32here goes nothing
00:11:40still no response?
00:11:42don't freak out
00:11:43he's probably just busy
00:11:48give it back
00:11:49why?
00:11:49you don't want me to see your slutty little nude?
00:11:53oh, this is actually a really good photo
00:11:54honestly, it's so good that I think the whole school should see it
00:11:58did you get it, Lindsay?
00:12:00got it
00:12:03what are you doing?
00:12:17oh shit
00:12:18oh my god
00:12:18oh my god
00:12:19oh my god
00:12:24oh shit
00:12:30oh shit
00:12:30oh shit
00:12:31oh shit
00:12:33yo, what's going on?
00:12:34dude, your enemy's nude just got put up on the big screen
00:12:36what?
00:12:36yeah
00:12:51come on
00:12:53let's see if these goods are photoshopped
00:12:57stop, delete it, please
00:12:58delete it
00:12:59shit
00:13:00shit
00:13:01shit
00:13:01shit
00:13:02shit
00:13:02shit
00:13:03shit
00:13:10oh my brave knight
00:13:12I wish you were here with me right now
00:13:18oh my god
00:13:20I hope cold
00:13:21your enemy's kinda hot
00:13:23disuse you're so INTO
00:13:25slutty photos
00:13:26Why don't we just go ahead and go full nude?
00:13:30Jen, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:13:32Jen, stop!
00:13:51My school enemy is my allied girlfriend?
00:13:57Stop it!
00:13:59Stop it!
00:14:00Oh my God!
00:14:08Hey.
00:14:10You okay?
00:14:12Give that to me.
00:14:21Now give the phone back, Jan.
00:14:23What the hell, Cole?
00:14:24I thought you'd be happy.
00:14:30How does it feel, being exposed to the whole school?
00:14:32Not good, huh?
00:14:33Now if you don't delete it off your phone,
00:14:35I'm exposed to what else is fake about you.
00:14:37And I know it's not just your purse.
00:14:40Why are you even defending her?
00:14:42She's the loser who has nude photos for random men!
00:14:46He's got more personality than all of you combined.
00:14:48And if you mess with her, you mess with me.
00:14:50You hear me?
00:14:55Hey, where are you?
00:14:56Cole is on my side now?
00:14:58Is he doing this to play with my feelings?
00:15:00I just need to be alone.
00:15:01Alright.
00:15:03Hayley!
00:15:07Cole is a rich asshole.
00:15:09And he said we were enemies.
00:15:11But why did I get butterflies when he looked at me today?
00:15:17Don't stay up too late, honey.
00:15:19Love you, Mom.
00:15:22Wait, Mom.
00:15:27Do people change?
00:15:30Like, can a spoiled brat somehow become nice?
00:15:36Well, maybe just give them a second chance.
00:15:56Tough day, huh?
00:15:58There's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria.
00:16:00They're my favorite.
00:16:02Noted.
00:16:03Is that all?
00:16:04The whole school treats me like I'm their punching bag.
00:16:06I'm just trying to bring a little hope to my family and keep my scholarship.
00:16:10Oh.
00:16:11I'm really proud of you.
00:16:13And then there's this guy.
00:16:15He has this vendetta against me, but at the same time he's super contradictory.
00:16:19It's so confusing.
00:16:21Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:23Sounds like you're into this guy.
00:16:25No, I'm not into this guy.
00:16:27I like you.
00:16:27Only you.
00:16:34I really liked your photo, by the way.
00:16:36You did?
00:16:37Are you gonna reciprocate?
00:16:38I was thinking it would be better if we met in person.
00:16:41That sounds amazing.
00:16:42When?
00:16:43With?
00:16:44After school.
00:16:45At the balcony.
00:16:46I'll bring flowers.
00:16:47Deal.
00:16:56I'm about to meet my boyfriend.
00:17:08Stop thinking about Cole.
00:17:18Army father.
00:17:19I heard about you harassing Jen at school today.
00:17:22Defending that nobody.
00:17:23Hayley girl.
00:17:24He's not a nobody, dad.
00:17:26Are those for her?
00:17:32What the fuck?
00:17:35What the fuck?
00:17:36I know what Hayley is, Cole.
00:17:39Her mother works as a maid at my office.
00:17:42That whole family is trash.
00:17:44Stay away from her.
00:17:45And what if I say no?
00:17:46Stay away from Hayley, Cole.
00:17:49Or I'll fire her mother.
00:17:51What if she found out that you were the one making her life miserable?
00:17:54I'm almost 18.
00:17:55Soon I'll have my inheritance.
00:17:57I hate to make Hayley wait, but she can't know who I am before I make sure her family is
00:18:02safe.
00:18:03You're sick.
00:18:06It's called watching out for your future.
00:18:14Oh, hi.
00:18:15I am Hayley.
00:18:17Yes.
00:18:19So nice to meet you.
00:18:21God.
00:18:21I'd give anything just to hear her say my name.
00:18:24But the moment she knows, I lose her forever.
00:18:29Thank you for the flowers.
00:18:30You're so nice.
00:18:36Guacamole Wizard.
00:18:37Guacamole Wizard.
00:18:41Guacamole Wizard.
00:18:43Ew.
00:18:45Are you waiting for your stupid little secret boyfriend?
00:18:47Pathetic.
00:18:48Maybe he's married.
00:18:50Or maybe he's fat.
00:18:51And maybe he's sitting on his life video.
00:18:55I don't want any more trouble.
00:18:58Why is Guacamole Wizard still not here?
00:19:01Oh, no.
00:19:01We're not here to give you any trouble.
00:19:03We just noticed that you didn't have any lunch.
00:19:05And so we thought we would bring you a sandwich.
00:19:08Eat it.
00:19:09Oh, no.
00:19:23How do you deal with that?
00:19:24So, you thought you could just humiliate me in front of the entire school?
00:19:28you're a maid's daughter so you can go ahead and eat trash
00:19:32guacamole wizard where are you oh and by the way
00:19:36cole's not gonna come save you because after all he's rich
00:19:39like me
00:19:44i'm nothing like you
00:19:50yeah i'm nothing like you
00:19:53cole again why is he always here when i need help
00:19:57pick it up
00:19:58cole we were kidding it's ketchup
00:20:00pick that bloody thing up
00:20:06figure you're gonna record this
00:20:15didn't your dad tell you not to mess with hayley anymore
00:20:18don't think you have leverage here
00:20:19so tell your mom how fucked up you are
00:20:22you wanna hold that thing next to your face
00:20:24and do what i say
00:20:28i will leave hayley alone
00:20:32i will leave hayley alone
00:20:37got it
00:20:39let's go
00:20:41what are you looking at
00:20:45got it let's go
00:20:54uh thank you
00:20:57wow
00:20:59never thought i'd hear you say that
00:21:03why do you keep following me around
00:21:05i just
00:21:07i happen to see you
00:21:09were you waiting on someone
00:21:10yeah
00:21:12my boyfriend actually
00:21:15well he
00:21:17he kind of stood me up so
00:21:19maybe you didn't do it on purpose
00:21:22maybe you gotta do it nice today
00:21:25cole are you being nice to me
00:21:28you thought we were enemies
00:21:30i mean i still find you incredibly annoying though
00:21:33i'm not that annoying
00:21:35maybe you'll like me once you realize i have layers
00:21:37are you trying to play with my feelings cole edness
00:21:39because it's not gonna work
00:21:41i'm like those stupid spoiled heiresses
00:21:49how'd that online boyfriend
00:21:50make you fall for her
00:21:55he
00:21:55he makes me feel safe
00:21:58you would understand though
00:22:04i understand better than you think
00:22:07cole understands me better than i think
00:22:11does he
00:22:14like you touching like this
00:22:24if you keep staring i'm gonna think you like what you see
00:22:29no my
00:22:30my boyfriend has way better abs than you do
00:22:35in the game
00:22:38oh in the game huh
00:22:46why does he have to smell so good
00:22:52are you that slow in the game too
00:22:55i can see why he likes you
00:23:07i can't do this
00:23:09i love my boyfriend
00:23:10and you will never understand that
00:23:12he's smart and he's kind and
00:23:16he loves me for who i am
00:23:18that is so much more important to me than
00:23:20whatever this is between us
00:23:23i wish i could just tell her right now
00:23:33wait it couldn't be
00:23:36cole what was that notification on your phone
00:23:41there's nothing
00:23:43cole who are you
00:23:47what was that notification on your phone
00:23:49it was my dad telling me my car
00:23:51got done getting waxed
00:23:53champagne problems huh
00:23:57you live such a tough life
00:24:02what was i thinking
00:24:04we are from two different worlds
00:24:06he just wants to play with me
00:24:07but why did i want to kiss him so badly
00:24:15why didn't you come to school today
00:24:17i got into a car accident
00:24:18really are you okay
00:24:20you have to keep me in the hospital till prom
00:24:23he was right
00:24:24who
00:24:24nobody
00:24:25which hospital are you staying at
00:24:27i want to come visit you
00:24:28no no you can't
00:24:29i look miserable now
00:24:31you need to see me in style
00:24:33fine if you say so
00:24:35so are we going to prom together
00:24:38hell yeah we are
00:24:44why would anyone want to sit next to her
00:24:47whoever needs a charity case
00:25:04oh you
00:25:05oh me
00:25:07why is she so lucky
00:25:09cole's never been this way with any other girl
00:25:12people think you're really lucky to be my lab partner
00:25:14i'm sure you feel really lucky to be my lab partner
00:25:17because you don't do any homework
00:25:24you finished it
00:25:25it's okay
00:25:27we'll get you know each other more
00:25:28i'm not that curious about you actually
00:25:30i'm curious about you though
00:25:32like uh
00:25:33how close are you
00:25:34with your mom
00:25:35what is he trying to do
00:25:37it's none of your business
00:25:38but i'm very close with my mom
00:25:40i'd kill anyone who hurts her
00:25:45does cole genuinely want to know me
00:25:56so
00:25:57are you going to prom
00:25:58i don't know
00:25:59i don't know
00:26:00i don't know
00:26:01so you have a date
00:26:04or shall i stay a victim
00:26:05are you jealous of me
00:26:07jealous
00:26:07me jealous
00:26:08no why would i be jealous
00:26:10oh because i think you so secretly want me
00:26:12you are so full of yourself
00:26:14you can do this on your own
00:26:16yeah
00:26:19no way
00:26:21it's a self-locking door
00:26:22really
00:26:23this woman's gonna be back in an hour
00:26:25i'm sure it'll be fine
00:26:25i'm stuck here with you for a full hour
00:26:28i'm not sorry
00:26:29am i that bad
00:26:31i think maybe we can pick up
00:26:32where we left off
00:26:34don't worry
00:26:34maybe try something new
00:26:36we're keeping our distance this time actually
00:26:38yeah
00:26:49that was my first kiss
00:26:53my first kiss was not supposed to go like that
00:26:55it was supposed to be special at prom
00:26:57and not just bumping lips
00:27:10you're really good at this
00:27:12why don't you regret it
00:27:14you know
00:27:16we can do more if you want
00:27:31anyway i've been wanting back a lot more than you back
00:27:35so you want me
00:27:39i think you know how much i want you
00:27:45do you want me
00:27:47i want you
00:27:53oh shit
00:27:57anyone in here
00:28:00oh my god
00:28:01how long have you two been in here
00:28:03i really need to change this lock
00:28:05are you two okay
00:28:06oh
00:28:07yeah
00:28:08yeah we're good
00:28:09we're okay
00:28:18you're just going to pretend like that didn't happen
00:28:19what didn't happen
00:28:21hey wait
00:28:21it's just hormones
00:28:24hey jake
00:28:25can you still play after your accident
00:28:27relax i'm not dead
00:28:29wait car accident
00:28:30guacamole wizard
00:28:37i gotta go
00:28:45guacamole wizard
00:28:47huh
00:28:50are you all better after your car accident
00:28:52do i know you
00:28:54why is he being so standoffish
00:28:56is he trying to give me a surprise
00:28:57or he heard something about cole
00:29:01you're crushing your soda can
00:29:04she thinks guacamole wizard is jake myers
00:29:06she was in a real car accident
00:29:08and according to you so is guacamole wizard
00:29:10i can't get this anymore
00:29:12cole
00:29:12oh wait
00:29:15oh shit
00:29:20what's up guys
00:29:21um
00:29:22we were just chatting
00:29:24chatting about jake's grand plans to kick balls
00:29:26was there something that you wanted cole
00:29:30hey
00:29:31i just figured i'd bring you some mozzarella sticks
00:29:34they're your favorite
00:29:35right
00:29:38how did you know that
00:29:40tough day huh
00:29:41there's no more mozzarella sticks in the cafeteria
00:29:43they're my favorite
00:29:44he couldn't be cool
00:29:47could he
00:29:53the truth is um
00:29:54a dickhead
00:29:57would you honestly get out of your bro
00:29:58you came to my table bro
00:30:00and knocked my ball away
00:30:08there it goes again
00:30:09cole is jealous
00:30:10we got a problem here cole
00:30:12we don't have a problem
00:30:14we don't have a problem
00:30:16right
00:30:17tell cole to get my ball
00:30:18and we don't have a problem
00:30:20jake it would take me forever to find one of your balls
00:30:25i have the ball now
00:30:26can we stop measuring each other's dicks
00:30:30cole and jake are fighting over hayley
00:30:33maybe i can use that
00:30:37jake
00:30:38hey
00:30:39what if i told you that i have an internship opportunity for you with my dad
00:30:43wait seriously
00:30:44yeah just one little catch
00:30:45you have to pretend to like hallie roth
00:30:50all right you have the rest of the period to work on your lab reports
00:30:53if you have any questions i'll be at my desk
00:30:57i thought guacamole wizard would feel more like cole
00:31:00but if he's really jake then maybe this was always going to end
00:31:04you've literally been sorry for five minutes
00:31:07i'm thinking
00:31:07about the report or about him
00:31:09why are you making it so weird about jake
00:31:11we literally made out of a sword room
00:31:14maybe maybe i've known jake longer
00:31:16no you don't
00:31:17how do you know that
00:31:18you're going to prom with someone else
00:31:20stop acting like you're serious about me
00:31:21you have no idea
00:31:28oh my god is jake asking me to prom
00:31:44hayley someone's here to see you
00:31:57are you asking me to prom
00:31:59too cheesy
00:32:01no it's cute
00:32:04the accident
00:32:05the mozzarella sticks
00:32:06he is guacamole wizard
00:32:08so um
00:32:10what do you think
00:32:11you want to go to prom with me
00:32:13i i should feel happy
00:32:16but why does this feel so wrong
00:32:20hey can we not
00:32:24hey can we not
00:32:26dude seriously what is your problem
00:32:28my problem here dude
00:32:29is that me and my lab partner have work to do
00:32:31and you're out here distracting me with bad puns
00:32:33wow
00:32:35that is some weak shit man
00:32:37oh
00:32:37that's weak shit
00:32:39is this weak shit
00:32:42oh my god
00:32:50wow
00:32:52he's got really pretty eyes
00:32:59wait i can't
00:33:00colt put me down
00:33:01put me down
00:33:02put me down
00:33:05don't do that again
00:33:18new couple alert
00:33:21fuck off jen
00:33:22why do you hate me so much cool
00:33:23you and i
00:33:24we're not that different
00:33:25and if you'd realize
00:33:27and give me a chance
00:33:28i think that we would make a great match
00:33:30like say if you asked me
00:33:32to prom
00:33:33i might say yes
00:33:36jen
00:33:37you want to go to prom
00:33:39with me
00:33:40jen you want to go to prom
00:33:42with me
00:33:43we're both hot
00:33:44and we're both rich
00:33:45and our dads have been in business
00:33:47like forever
00:33:48so
00:33:49how romantic
00:33:50i think i'll pass
00:33:53you're gonna regret this call admins
00:33:58oh here they come
00:34:00if i message corcamole wizard
00:34:02i wonder if jake's phone loading
00:34:06what should we wear to prom
00:34:08and the dean's list
00:34:19i'll talk to you later
00:34:19i'll see you around school okay
00:34:21okay yeah i'll see you later
00:34:22bye
00:34:23he's so different
00:34:24maybe he's still recovering from the accident
00:34:30hayley
00:34:39jeez
00:34:40god
00:34:46here i'll get it
00:34:47no
00:34:52oh
00:34:53you're scared of me seeing all the girls in your phone
00:34:55i don't care
00:34:56i do care
00:34:59hell yeah
00:35:00i mean he only knows you like mozzarella sticks because of me
00:35:21he doesn't even know you
00:35:22and you do
00:35:23how do you know i like mozzarella sticks
00:35:25that's something i've only ever talked about
00:35:27because
00:35:28i
00:35:29pay attention to what you like
00:35:31i
00:35:32noticed that at lunch
00:35:33the first day
00:35:35you were watching me
00:35:37just
00:35:38just don't go
00:35:39i promise you
00:35:54move
00:35:56colt is talking to hayley
00:35:57again
00:35:58your job is to keep them away from each other jake
00:36:01unless you don't want that internship that my dad got you
00:36:03obviously i do
00:36:04okay
00:36:05then break them up
00:36:06idiot
00:36:07uh what do i do
00:36:11i've got a few ideas
00:36:16here look
00:36:19someone will take you to prom
00:36:20all right i promise
00:36:21yeah
00:36:22really like who
00:36:23i mean the whole school hates me except for jake
00:36:27and you
00:36:28but you're not asking me
00:36:31hey
00:36:31oh hey jake
00:36:34hey how um
00:36:35i just wanted to thank you again for
00:36:37the other night
00:36:40the other night
00:36:41yeah it was
00:36:43so
00:36:44sexy
00:36:46you're so sexy
00:36:47jake what are you talking about
00:36:52hey i hate to break it to you asshole but she's my prom date
00:37:00and she's a real tiger in the pet room
00:37:02oh shit look
00:37:05oh shit
00:37:06oh shit
00:37:09oh my god
00:37:22stop guys stop it
00:37:24stop
00:37:26what the hell is going on over there
00:37:30shit it's principal stevens
00:37:32i've got to save cole
00:37:33i mean jake
00:37:34i've got to save jake
00:37:40oh
00:37:41oh my god
00:37:42principal stevens
00:37:43i'm so sorry
00:37:45hayley rock
00:37:46that's detention
00:37:48after school
00:37:49don't be late
00:38:06cole
00:38:06what are you doing here
00:38:08can we keep you company
00:38:10it's the least i could do if you
00:38:13saved my ass today
00:38:15the locker thing
00:38:16that was an accident
00:38:18oh sure
00:38:20so uh
00:38:21you and
00:38:22you and jake huh
00:38:25no
00:38:26he lied about that
00:38:27i don't know why though
00:38:29good
00:38:32father that asshole
00:38:33every time he looks at you makes me sick to my stomach
00:38:36thinking about him touching you kissing you
00:38:40i could kill him
00:38:43promise me
00:38:44you won't go to prom
00:38:45okay fine
00:38:49i won't
00:38:53because i want to go to prom with you
00:38:57okay everyone let's start off by mixing our sodium bicarbonate
00:39:07oh my god i am so fed up with this
00:39:12oh my god i am so sorry
00:39:30i tripped
00:39:30no no no no no no no no no no no no no
00:39:32jake
00:39:33what
00:39:34it always has to be about her doesn't it
00:39:39they're dead
00:39:41they're both dead
00:39:42oh
00:39:44how am i gonna be able to talk to guacamole wizard
00:39:48oh
00:39:49what are you
00:39:50are you almost crying
00:39:52it's probably because you can't afford a new one
00:39:56jen
00:39:57jen
00:39:57what's going on over there
00:40:09what's going on is jen is getting a taste of her own medicine
00:40:12mrs gourmet's burning
00:40:13mr edmunds
00:40:15oh please
00:40:15it's baking soda and water
00:40:16you're fine
00:40:17detention
00:40:18today after school
00:40:19shh
00:40:32jake hey
00:40:34oh uh sorry gotta get to student council
00:40:39hey you didn't even try the rice trick
00:40:42the rice trick
00:40:46yeah
00:40:48you don't know about the
00:40:50come on
00:41:03hey
00:41:04um
00:41:04ella
00:41:06it's emma
00:41:07yeah
00:41:08that's what i said
00:41:09can you hack a broken laptop
00:41:20hey it's gonna be okay
00:41:22we'll pour out in a few more minutes and it'll be like the whole thing never happened
00:41:26no it's not just the phone or the laptop it means it means i can't
00:41:31can't what
00:41:35i talked to a friend online
00:41:38he's really important to me
00:41:42and i'm sure
00:41:44you're really important to him
00:41:54you know cool
00:41:56if you look past
00:41:57all that hair gel and
00:41:59big ol ego and
00:42:01rich kid for bravo
00:42:03okay okay
00:42:03i get it
00:42:07you're kind of sweet
00:42:13hey look at that
00:42:15oh my god
00:42:16thank you
00:42:19oh my god
00:42:20you're a miracle worker
00:42:27oh what is taking so long
00:42:29you doused this thing in sodium bicarbonate
00:42:31shut up ella
00:42:32it's emma
00:42:34whatever
00:42:40oh my god
00:42:44oh my god
00:42:48oh
00:42:49morning valley whore
00:42:51how are things in the castle
00:42:58valley whore
00:42:59what are they talking about
00:43:16guacamole wizard when can we be together in person
00:43:19guacamole wizard i want you so badly i dream about you touching me
00:43:23oh my god someone hacked my castle claimers messages
00:43:26touch me guacamole wizard
00:43:29yeah hey valley whore show them what you really like
00:43:51here you go
00:43:52here this is for you
00:43:58oh do you like what i've done with the place
00:44:00you hacked
00:44:01my laptop
00:44:02oh no it wasn't me
00:44:04it was that kid ella
00:44:05but i definitely gotta reap the benefits
00:44:08what kind of incel sex over a video game
00:44:10hayley
00:44:11what are you catfishing this guy
00:44:12no i'm not trying to catfish him
00:44:14hey everyone
00:44:15i think valley whore is a catfish
00:44:19because who in their right mind would spend their time thirsting over you
00:44:47stop it stop stop
00:44:51i thought i said the janitor some time
00:44:57jane
00:44:57hey
00:45:00now is the time
00:45:01tell them
00:45:03tell them what
00:45:04that you're guacamole wizard
00:45:07who's guacamole wizard
00:45:10here you go
00:45:13oh my god
00:45:14did you think that jake was your secret little online boyfriend
00:45:17oh sweetie
00:45:19i've been bribing him this whole time to pretend to like you
00:45:22what
00:45:22why would you do that
00:45:24oh i don't know cole
00:45:25why do you think i would do that
00:45:28jake
00:45:28is this true
00:45:30have you been pretending to like me this whole time
00:45:34sorry
00:45:35it was nothing personal
00:45:42yeah nothing personal
00:45:49all right all right all right
00:45:51enough
00:45:52what in the world is going on here
00:45:54is that a leaf blower
00:45:56that's all him
00:45:57okay well you both have detention so
00:46:04let me get this straight
00:46:06you stole a leaf blower
00:46:08and defaced school property
00:46:09it wasn't school property dad
00:46:11it was jen's cyber boy spreadsheets
00:46:13jesus christ
00:46:14how does she always get away with this shit
00:46:16could it be because her father's running for senate colt
00:46:19you think that's what it could be
00:46:21who cares
00:46:22i care
00:46:23and
00:46:24i hear she's got an eye for you
00:46:26so you're taking her to prom
00:46:28what
00:46:28how overmides that body
00:46:30oh
00:46:30because you like that hayley girl
00:46:33i'm firing her mother
00:46:34right now
00:46:35no no please don't
00:46:37please
00:46:37then you're taking jen to prom
00:46:40max's dad called
00:46:41he said he's having a party tomorrow
00:46:42you're gonna go
00:46:43and you're gonna ask jen to prom
00:46:45end of discussion
00:46:53come on you big coward
00:46:54message him
00:46:56just do it
00:46:56just do it
00:47:00you must think i'm the biggest idiot
00:47:08i could never think that
00:47:15but i thought you were jake
00:47:17please can't you just tell me now
00:47:19i think i've had enough public humiliation for one lifetime
00:47:25i heard that guy max is throwing a party tomorrow
00:47:27if you want i'll meet you there
00:47:41okay
00:47:42you got this hayley
00:47:44just take a deep breath
00:47:45you got this
00:47:46you got this
00:47:50you look beautiful
00:47:54thank you mom
00:48:14hey hayley
00:48:15i'm glad you came
00:48:16you look so pretty
00:48:17hi
00:48:18hey max
00:48:19your house is gorgeous
00:48:21i mean
00:48:22no it's just my parents blood money
00:48:23you know they're upstairs watching the last of us right now
00:48:26they don't care about shit
00:48:27get drunk girl
00:48:49whoo
00:48:49hey everyone let's give it up for valley whore
00:48:51valley whore
00:48:56jen
00:48:56why are you doing this
00:48:58what have i even done to you
00:48:59to me
00:48:59oh i'm actually concerned about our whole community
00:49:02because those little cringy messages on your castle game
00:49:06those are concerning
00:49:07actually
00:49:07kind of a little bit of a perv
00:49:09did you know that hayley
00:49:11she's a little pervy princess
00:49:13pervy princess
00:49:16pervy princess
00:49:18pervy princess
00:49:19pervy princess
00:49:21hey
00:49:22let's get pervy tonight
00:49:24leave me alone
00:49:26is there a fire
00:49:28okay
00:49:29we set off the alarm
00:49:42oh
00:49:43oh
00:49:44oh
00:49:45oh
00:49:45oh
00:49:46oh
00:49:46oh
00:50:21Are you... him?
00:50:24Would you stop trying to find your stupid little cyber boyfriend?
00:50:27Okay, Cole is not him.
00:50:29Anyways, we are going to the prom together.
00:50:31No, I'm not.
00:50:32Yes, you are.
00:50:34It's okay.
00:50:35You can be honest about your feelings.
00:50:38So you too.
00:50:39This whole time.
00:50:43Oh my God, I am such an idiot.
00:50:46Hey, wait.
00:50:47Wait.
00:50:53Please, at least take my jacket.
00:50:54You know, if you really wanted to humiliate me, you didn't have to go to the extra effort.
00:50:58Jen was doing just fine.
00:50:59I wasn't trying to humiliate you.
00:51:01Then what were you trying to do?
00:51:02I guess you.
00:51:04Obviously.
00:51:04The white clothes were just an added bonus.
00:51:06I knew I shouldn't have trusted you.
00:51:10What about guacamole, wizard?
00:51:12What are you...
00:51:14What are you...
00:51:21Who is that?
00:51:22No.
00:51:23Just the devil.
00:51:26Get in the car.
00:51:30I'm not going to ask you again, Cole.
00:51:32Get in the car.
00:51:33Dad, can you just act normal for once and please introduce yourself to...
00:51:36Haley.
00:51:37I already assumed that's who this was.
00:51:40I'm a striven.
00:51:41So, you're the scholarship trash that's hell-bent on ruining Cole's life?
00:51:47Well, I've got news for you, young lady.
00:51:49My son is going to marry a good girl from a respectable family.
00:51:53And that's not you.
00:51:55You will be forgotten.
00:51:57You're a maid's daughter.
00:51:58And your mom works for me.
00:52:01Stay away from him.
00:52:02Or I swear to God, your mother is fired.
00:52:06Dad, stop!
00:52:08Don't you touch my family.
00:52:10I'll stay away.
00:52:12Haley, come on.
00:52:13You don't mean that.
00:52:16I hate everything you stand for.
00:52:18I hate your greed and your callousness and your elitist ideas of what you think a good person looks like.
00:52:25I hate everything about you.
00:52:27I hate all of it.
00:52:28I don't want any part of it.
00:52:31So, Cole, go with your dad.
00:52:35Haley.
00:52:39Fuck this.
00:52:44No laptop and no phone for a week.
00:52:47Ever since mom died, you've turned into this co-patriarch.
00:52:50Haley, not that's real love.
00:52:51Why do you have to make me so miserable?
00:52:53I promised your mother I would make you a success, son.
00:52:57Even if it meant saving you from yourself.
00:53:06Hi, Haley.
00:53:08I'm Emma.
00:53:09I know who you are.
00:53:10Right.
00:53:11I just felt kind of bad that I accidentally helped Jen ruin your life.
00:53:15So, I wanted to return your laptop to you.
00:53:18Goodness new.
00:53:23Oh, wow.
00:53:25Thanks, Emma.
00:53:27Okay, bye.
00:53:32One down, one to go.
00:53:35You're so cool.
00:53:37I know, Emma.
00:53:38Want to go to prom?
00:53:39Why not?
00:53:41Let's get these love birds together.
00:53:48Hi, Mr. Edmunds.
00:53:49Hi, Max.
00:53:51And Max's friend.
00:53:52Sorry, we weren't expecting you.
00:53:54Cole's grounded.
00:53:56Oh, he is?
00:53:57But it was his 18th birthday today.
00:54:00What can I say, Max?
00:54:02Actions have consequences.
00:54:04Birthday or no, Cole is grounded.
00:54:07Well, that really sucks because he's also the president of the prom committee.
00:54:12We were supposed to review budgets today.
00:54:15Cole?
00:54:16My son, Cole?
00:54:18Reviewing budgets.
00:54:19He's never reviewed a budget a day in his life.
00:54:22Well, Mr. Edmunds, today could be that day.
00:54:24And we just have to give him back this school-sanctioned laptop
00:54:26so he can get back to his very important
00:54:28and very respectable budgetary work.
00:54:39Go away!
00:54:43Max, what are you guys doing here?
00:54:46Happy birthday, Cole.
00:54:48I brought you my laptop and logged into your Castle Claimers account.
00:54:51Just get it back to me by tomorrow.
00:54:52What?
00:54:53What's going on?
00:54:54Dude, it's your 18th birthday.
00:54:56You can tell Haley who you are now.
00:54:58You can be together.
00:54:59Just log into this stupid game
00:55:01and tell the girl who you love who you really are.
00:55:04No.
00:55:05I'll tell her myself.
00:55:07Sneak me in your car.
00:55:15Welcome to the wizard.
00:55:18Mom, I'm fine.
00:55:20I just need some time alone.
00:55:28Open the door.
00:55:31Wait, what?
00:55:32He's here?
00:55:41It's you.
00:55:43I'm sure I've given you this to you a long time ago.
00:55:47Haley, I wanted to tell you who I was from the very beginning.
00:55:50My dad threatened to fire your mom.
00:55:52I had to wait a really long time
00:55:54to tell you who I was.
00:55:55I got my inheritance.
00:55:57And I can protect you and your family,
00:55:59and so you don't have to choose.
00:56:12Haley, I understand that this changes things.
00:56:16If you don't love me the way you love guacamole wizard,
00:56:20but I need you to know I love you.
00:56:36Cole, I love you.
00:56:38You do?
00:56:40Yes, you idiot.
00:56:42I've loved you for months.
00:56:43I mean, this whole guacamole wizard thing was so confusing, though,
00:56:47because I had to be loyal to him, and...
00:56:50But you're him.
00:56:52You didn't expect her.
00:56:54I...
00:56:54I mean, I...
00:56:56I always hoped it was you.
00:56:59Until you hoped it was.
00:57:02I hoped it was you.
00:57:04You were always there for me.
00:57:10You're really fucking hot.
00:57:16Hey, uh...
00:57:17There are those things I said we could do.
00:57:20You gotta go?
00:57:24Take my clothes off.
00:57:26Yeah, no, don't worry.
00:57:50Okay, so...
00:57:51What do you think?
00:57:5210 out of 10.
00:57:54Yeah.
00:57:54Yeah, we'll do it again.
00:57:56I'll get sex with sex with me specifically.
00:57:58I've only ever had sex with you specifically.
00:58:01All right.
00:58:02All right, that's fair.
00:58:04I'll, uh...
00:58:05I'll take that as a win.
00:58:11What is my life now?
00:58:12Am I being nice to Cole Eggman?
00:58:15Oh, God, no.
00:58:16I fully expect you to continue to berate me endlessly.
00:58:21No, I'll just...
00:58:22I'll just lust behind it.
00:58:24There's always been lust behind it.
00:58:25I'll see you in a minute, Noah.
00:58:27Stop it.
00:58:31Um...
00:58:32I think...
00:58:33Is it promenade?
00:58:35I think you know if it's promenade.
00:58:38Okay.
00:58:39But the real question is, do you get a date?
00:58:44Cole, are you asking me to prom?
00:58:46Oh, I would have asked you earlier, but Jay kind of gave me to a joke.
00:58:50Oh, God, please don't mention his name again.
00:58:51I don't want to hear it.
00:58:53Yeah, you don't have to ask me twice.
00:58:55But I don't even have a dress.
00:58:58Later.
00:59:02I just slept with Cole Edmonds, and I'm in love with Cole Edmonds.
00:59:07Who would have guessed?
00:59:12I thought...
00:59:13Only the best for my princess.
00:59:15Where did you get that?
00:59:18I might have gotten you a dress on the off chance that you might have wanted to go to prom
00:59:24with me,
00:59:24and maybe had nothing to wear.
00:59:28Of course I'll go to prom with you.
00:59:34Mr. Edmonds, I didn't expect you to be here.
00:59:38Cole, are you here?
00:59:40Cole, are you here?
00:59:43Mr. Edmonds, you can't just barge into my house like this.
00:59:47I see you, Cole.
00:59:47You are in big trouble.
01:00:05Hey, uh, you almost done in there?
01:00:08You try changing into an evening gown in a bunch of thorny bushes.
01:00:13Okay, I'm ready.
01:00:26What do you think?
01:00:30My God, Haley, you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
01:00:36Uh-uh-uh.
01:00:37I just hunched over in a car mirror to do this lipstick.
01:00:40You're not messing it up for at least 20 minutes.
01:00:4320 more minutes.
01:00:44We're in.
01:00:46Deal.
01:00:49Thank you all for using the prom voting site to cast your votes.
01:00:54I hear we have a winner.
01:00:57And your 2026 prom queen is...
01:01:01Jen Longfellow.
01:01:08Thank you guys so much.
01:01:11Seriously, this makes the world to me.
01:01:12I mean, like, who else would win, right?
01:01:16Oh, this is just the perfect moment.
01:01:22Oh my God, that's Haley and Cole.
01:01:25It was fucked.
01:01:27Since where is your dad?
01:01:28What?
01:01:32Hey, uh, most of the time that's up.
01:01:35No.
01:01:36But who cares?
01:01:39Hell yeah.
01:01:40Woo!
01:01:43Ew, literally, what the fuck?
01:01:45Jen.
01:01:46Language.
01:01:46I am the queen, okay?
01:01:48She's just a little pervy princess.
01:01:50Come on.
01:01:51Everyone say it with me.
01:01:53Pervy princess.
01:01:54Pervy princess.
01:01:55Pervy princess.
01:02:00Wait.
01:02:02Wait, wait, wait.
01:02:03What are those?
01:02:04Those are texts between me and my dad.
01:02:06Make Cole Edmonds fall in love with you.
01:02:09His dad's month is essential to funding my campaign.
01:02:12Hey, don't worry, Daddy.
01:02:14If I can't have it, no one can.
01:02:18I'm going to destroy Haley Roth's life.
01:02:20Is this real?
01:02:22Jen's crazy.
01:02:25Who did this?
01:02:26Who did this?
01:02:30What?
01:02:31You exploited me for a hacking job
01:02:32and didn't think I was going to hack your phone?
01:02:34You allowed to stay.
01:02:36You know, Jen, as the principal,
01:02:39I'm supposed to remain impartial
01:02:41and above all of this petty drama.
01:02:45But quite frankly,
01:02:47you are the worst.
01:02:49And I think it's time that you are expelled
01:02:52from Edmonds Academy.
01:02:53You can't do that.
01:02:55I'm the principal, so yes, I can.
01:02:59Ow!
01:03:03Oh, my God.
01:03:07There was no winter sick.
01:03:09You lied to me.
01:03:11Oh, my God.
01:03:11Oh, my God.
01:03:16Haley, catch.
01:03:21Oh.
01:03:23Oh.
01:03:23My princess finally has her crown.
01:03:26Now all I need is my handsome prince.
01:03:28Oh.
01:03:29Yeah, no can do.
01:03:31All I have to offer
01:03:32is a Bowie knight with a chip on his shoulder
01:03:35and an awesome sense of humor.
01:03:37Oof.
01:03:38How can I refuse?
01:03:46That's my dad.
01:03:49We are going home right now.
01:03:52You disobeyed me for the last time, boy.
01:03:54Yeah, I'm not a boy, Dad.
01:03:57You talk all the time
01:03:58about wanting a man
01:03:59that's worthy of the family last name.
01:04:01Yet, you can't see I've already become that man.
01:04:05And it's because of Haley.
01:04:07And you can accept that
01:04:08or I'll make my own path.
01:04:10And best believe me, I can.
01:04:12I'll say this.
01:04:14That's the most backbone
01:04:15I've ever seen in you, Cole.
01:04:19Joy problem.
01:04:27I am so proud of you.
01:04:30I kind of done with all you being by my son.
01:04:34That was terrifying.
01:04:35It's not like we haven't
01:04:36slayed a dragon before, no, so...
01:04:40I love you, Bialikoni.
01:04:41I love you, guacamole wizard.
01:04:44Oh, my God, I gotta change that username.
01:04:46Yeah, you do.
01:04:46Hey.
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