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Alpha House 2014 [Full Movie] [Trending Drama]Full EP - Full
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00:01:03¡My!
00:01:04¡God!
00:01:07¡Oh!
00:01:08¡Angelina!
00:01:09¡Where'd you go?
00:01:11¡You know how so much I don't know!
00:01:14¡Angelina!
00:01:16¡Oh!
00:01:17¡Oh!
00:01:18¡Oh!
00:01:19¡Oh!
00:01:19¡Oh!
00:01:21¡Oh!
00:01:21¡Oh!
00:01:23¡Oh!
00:01:23¡Oh!
00:01:24¡Oh!
00:01:25¡Oh!
00:01:27¡Oh!
00:01:29¡Oh!
00:01:34¡Oh!
00:01:37¡Oh!
00:01:40¡Oh!
00:01:41¡Oh!
00:01:42¡Oh!
00:01:44¡Oh!
00:01:45¡Oh!
00:01:46¡Oh!
00:01:46¡Oh!
00:01:47¡Oh!
00:01:47¡Oh!
00:01:47¡Oh!
00:01:47¡Oh!
00:01:47¡Oh!
00:01:47¡Oh!
00:01:47¡Oh!
00:01:48¡Oh!
00:01:50¡Oh!
00:01:51¡Oh!
00:01:53¡Oh!
00:01:55¡Oh!
00:01:55¡Oh!
00:01:58¡Oh!
00:01:58So it is, you boys ready to be inducted?
00:02:01Yes, Mr. President!
00:02:04See, as new alphas, these boys have to call him Mr. President
00:02:06or else they'll get punched in the dick.
00:02:09Boys, this is Charity, this is Faith.
00:02:12Girls, this is, uh, Zach.
00:02:14And, uh, what is it? Christian?
00:02:17Cameron!
00:02:20Boys, welcome to 24 Hour Party Machine, man!
00:02:24Woo!
00:02:24Someone get these boys a beer and a handjob, please?
00:02:28You all right, ma'am?
00:02:30I'm so happy.
00:02:33I love this place.
00:02:42Yeah!
00:02:47All right, girls, put your shirts back on.
00:02:50We're going downstairs to the induction ceremony.
00:02:53Not you.
00:02:54You meet me in my room.
00:02:55Yes, Mr. President.
00:03:00See, fellas?
00:03:00That right there never gets old.
00:03:03All right, fellas, get fucking around.
00:03:05We have some cherries to pop and some serious party to do.
00:03:07Wow!
00:03:08Holy shit, did you hear what he just said?
00:03:10Oh, my God.
00:03:11We're not even at the serious party yet.
00:03:14It's even better than I imagined.
00:03:18The average male graduate makes $125,000 per year.
00:03:22Meanwhile, the average female graduate makes $41,500 per year.
00:03:27That's $30,056.
00:03:30That's bullshit!
00:03:31Yes, it is bullshit, Misty.
00:03:34And why would these women put up with such an equitable, inexcusable disparity?
00:03:40Somehow, the women of Sterling College got it in their heads that being married to one of these successful men
00:03:45is just as good as being successful themselves.
00:03:47Which is a bunch of hoey!
00:03:50Yes?
00:03:51Is the astronaut single?
00:03:54What?
00:03:55That's not the point!
00:03:57The point is we all worked so hard to get into this college.
00:04:00We're not just here for the parties, the sex, and the Lansom Ridge husband.
00:04:05Right?
00:04:08Then what are you doing here, Miss Kramer?
00:04:11It is Miss Kramer, isn't it?
00:04:13Kelly Kramer.
00:04:14Associate Dean Marshall.
00:04:16Yes, I know who I am.
00:04:18So, this is Delta Pi Sorority.
00:04:22I had heard you were meeting, even though you don't have a house.
00:04:26I'd say it shows resolve.
00:04:28I'd say it shows resolve.
00:04:30It's pathetic!
00:04:32Not only that, it's unfair.
00:04:35Especially when you consider how many houses the fraternities have.
00:04:38Am I right, ladies?
00:04:39Yeah.
00:04:40Definitely.
00:04:41Sterling College has always offered more opportunities to its male students.
00:04:45You really think that you and your quote-unquote sorority can overturn 50 years of history?
00:04:54Yes.
00:04:55I do.
00:04:58I was hoping you'd say that.
00:05:03Gentlemen, today you enter an elite brotherhood established by our founders in 1963.
00:05:12Just as Sterling College is known as the cradle of awesome, Alpha House is known as a place where awesome
00:05:19goes to get its freak on.
00:05:21Now, are you ready to uphold the tradition of this fraternity?
00:05:25If yes, let me hear you say yeah.
00:05:27Yeah!
00:05:28Yeah!
00:05:28Good.
00:05:30Do you swear to never speak ill of her?
00:05:33Let me hear you say yeah.
00:05:34Yeah!
00:05:35To never let her hallowed halls fall silent.
00:05:38To never let her kegs run empty.
00:05:41And to never, ever let the party die?
00:05:45Oh yeah!
00:05:46Good!
00:05:48Now!
00:05:49Suck the guy's dick on your immediate left.
00:05:51What?
00:05:56Really?
00:05:57No.
00:05:57Just messing with you.
00:05:58I just want to see if you really do it.
00:05:59I have nobody to my left.
00:06:01Gentlemen!
00:06:03Welcome to Alpha House.
00:06:06What the fuck?
00:06:06What the fuck?
00:06:07Hey!
00:06:07Who turned out the lights?
00:06:12I'm sorry Mr. Kroger.
00:06:14Am I interrupting something?
00:06:16Of course not.
00:06:18Always an honor to be visited by our associate Dean.
00:06:21I see you are inducting a fresh batch of perverts, drunks, and future felons.
00:06:27How fortuitous that I've found you on a very accepting frame of mind.
00:06:31You thinking about pledging?
00:06:33It's really flattering, but unfortunately we're about at capacity for the year.
00:06:37Though the peace offering with the strippers was not a bad move.
00:06:40I see they went for the naughty bookworm look.
00:06:43What, you couldn't throw in at least one sexy cop?
00:06:45You see?
00:06:46This is why I'm here.
00:06:47For too long Alpha House has been a bastion for sex drugs.
00:06:52Stop it.
00:06:53Stop it!
00:06:54It's not a good thing!
00:06:55It's everything that's wrong with Sterling College!
00:06:59But we are going to transform it into a shining example of everything that Sterling College has to offer.
00:07:06Opportunity, diversity, equality.
00:07:10Yeah, can you get to the point? I'm sobering up over here.
00:07:13Gentlemen, meet your new brothers.
00:07:17Hello boys.
00:07:19As of tonight, I am making Alpha House officially co-ed.
00:07:25No, you can't.
00:07:26I can.
00:07:27And I did.
00:07:29Dean Bunglin would never approve of this.
00:07:31Oh, I doubt Dean Bunglin would give approval to such a dramatic change to his old fraternity.
00:07:38But luckily, fraternity matters fall under the purview of the Associate Dean.
00:07:44Which is me.
00:07:46This is bullshit!
00:07:53What's your name, Potty Mouth?
00:07:55Cameron.
00:07:56Is there something on your feeble mind, Cameron?
00:07:58You can't just change a frat like this.
00:08:00This isn't fair.
00:08:01And having a sorority without a house is.
00:08:04Excellent return, Renee.
00:08:06It's not fair to the girls.
00:08:08It's still a frat.
00:08:09You can bring a bunch of girls in here, but they're gonna have to live with a bunch of guys.
00:08:12Fair to make them live in that kind of environment?
00:08:18Excellent point, Cameron's friend.
00:08:20Zach.
00:08:21Don't care.
00:08:22With Alpha House being co-ed, it is governed by state and federal laws which forbid anyone from making a
00:08:29member of the opposite sex feel harassed, disenfranchised, or otherwise uncomfortable.
00:08:38It means you horndogs will dial down the debauchery significantly.
00:08:45How significantly?
00:08:47This place is going to make the Mormon tabernacle look like Mardi Gras.
00:08:52Everybody will be on their best behavior, or else you're out.
00:08:58Out of Alpha House?
00:08:59Out of Alpha House.
00:09:02Out of Sterling College.
00:09:04Poop!
00:09:04Out of luck!
00:09:07Ladies.
00:09:10Why don't you go make yourselves at home?
00:09:13Girls?
00:09:16Can someone please buy some air freshener?
00:09:26This is a disaster.
00:09:29I'm out of here.
00:09:31Where are you going?
00:09:32Sorry, dudes.
00:09:33I was only ever in the stupid frat for the booze and the coos.
00:09:36Dude, what about brotherhood?
00:09:37What about never letting the party die?
00:09:39Dude, look around.
00:09:41The party's dead.
00:09:42I should be elbows deep in co-ed trim right now.
00:09:45Instead of watching these Delta Pi lesbos turn our front door into a chastity belt.
00:09:51Adios, losers.
00:09:54Enjoy your castration.
00:09:57Come on, seriously, guys!
00:09:59Wait, what?
00:10:02Bye-bye.
00:10:05Well, looks like you're the de facto present, Potty Mouth.
00:10:11Congrats.
00:10:12Alright, listen up.
00:10:13This is how it's going to work.
00:10:14You two are going to divide up the house equally.
00:10:17I'm putting this on both your shoulders.
00:10:19Got it?
00:10:20Got it.
00:10:21Good.
00:10:23So this is how it's going to work.
00:10:25You guys are going to get the rooms in the back, and we'll get the rooms in the front.
00:10:28Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:10:29You're talking to the acting alpha house president here, okay?
00:10:33If anybody decides who gets what rooms, it's me.
00:10:37Okay, so what do you suggest?
00:10:40Girls in the front, guys in the back.
00:10:42And you can share your room with me.
00:10:45I'll pass.
00:10:45How many bathrooms are in this hellhole?
00:10:48Two upstairs, one down here.
00:10:50We each get one upstairs.
00:10:51The one downstairs is for guests.
00:10:52And the living room and the kitchen are common areas.
00:10:55Does that work for you?
00:10:56Yes.
00:10:57Make it so.
00:10:58Right.
00:11:02Who's that?
00:11:03I am not sure, but I think she wants to fuck me.
00:11:08That's not going to happen.
00:11:10Oh yeah, we'll see about that, sweetie.
00:11:15Uh, Melanie?
00:11:17Zach.
00:11:18Oh my God.
00:11:20What are you doing here?
00:11:22I just transferred.
00:11:23I was over at State last semester.
00:11:25Well, hello there, Melanie.
00:11:27Cameron.
00:11:29Wow.
00:11:30Didn't miss that.
00:11:31Melanie!
00:11:32Upstairs now.
00:11:33We're having a meeting.
00:11:34Okay.
00:11:36Well, I guess I'll be seeing you around the house then?
00:11:40Yeah, I guess so.
00:11:42Yeah.
00:11:46This place is repulsive.
00:11:48Is that a used condom?
00:11:55Ladies, please.
00:11:56I know these aren't the best of arrangements.
00:11:59And no matter what those cavemen downstairs think,
00:12:01this place is just as much ours as it is theirs.
00:12:04The road is going to be rough.
00:12:06It's going to be dirty.
00:12:07And occasionally we'll have a used condom in it.
00:12:10But we can do this.
00:12:13Sisters on three.
00:12:17One, two, three!
00:12:19This is bullshit!
00:12:20Alright?
00:12:20We can't have chicks living here!
00:12:23Yeah, I totally agree.
00:12:25You know that brunette?
00:12:27Yo, I'd love to get her Canadian swirl
00:12:29and a Ford Bronco on four flat tires.
00:12:32Dude, what?
00:12:34Makes zero sense, dude.
00:12:35Look, guys.
00:12:36This is our house.
00:12:37Those girls were invaders in our territory.
00:12:39Cameron and I,
00:12:40we've wanted to be Elvis for as long as I can remember.
00:12:42And I'm not throwing that dream down the shitter
00:12:44because of some chicks.
00:12:45Yeah, me too, dude.
00:12:46But my dream did not include a pussy embargo.
00:12:49You guys are missing the bigger picture here.
00:12:51Did you see the talent that just walked into this house?
00:12:54At this moment,
00:12:55the rooms directly above our heads
00:12:57are being stocked
00:12:58with some pretty decent great inventory.
00:13:01This house is basically just a Costco full of vag, right?
00:13:05And if we play our cards right,
00:13:06we might be getting some free samples.
00:13:08Besides, how bad can it be living with girls?
00:13:11Yeah.
00:13:20What's going on?
00:13:21They're cleaning.
00:13:23Nice work, ladies.
00:13:27What the fuck do you think you're doing?
00:13:29Just because you're comfortable living like pigs
00:13:31doesn't mean we have to be.
00:13:53No.
00:13:56It sounds like pigs are sleeping.
00:13:56No.
00:14:32¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:14:52¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:15:43¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:15:57¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:16:12¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:16:15¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:16:16¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:16:20¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:16:22¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:16:23¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:16:47¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:17:02¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:17:11¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:17:26¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:17:29¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:17:46¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:17:47¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:17:49¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:18:02¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:18:05¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:18:07¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:18:15¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:18:18¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:18:31¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:18:33¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:18:34¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:18:36¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:18:37¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:18:38¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:18:40¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:18:43¡Suscríbete al canal!
00:18:44¡Vamos!
00:18:45¡Vamos!
00:18:46¡Vamos!
00:18:47¡Vamos!
00:18:47¡Vamos!
00:18:48¡Vamos!
00:18:49¡Vamos!
00:18:50¡Vamos!
00:18:56¡Vamos!
00:19:06¡As acting president of Alpha House,
00:19:08it is my responsibility, strike that,
00:19:11my pleasure
00:19:12to ensure that you have the proper induction
00:19:15in this
00:19:16most honorable institution.
00:19:18Being an Alpha is a goddamn privilege!
00:19:20It's a goddamn privilege!
00:19:22And like any privilege, it's earned through hard work.
00:19:25Isn't that right, gentlemen?
00:19:27Hoorah!
00:19:28Give me a break.
00:19:29New recruits will ask for permission before speaking to the president.
00:19:32Speak to this.
00:19:35What is your name, recruit?
00:19:38Kelly Kramer.
00:19:39Do you have a middle name?
00:19:41Fuck off.
00:19:43Pretty.
00:19:44People call you K2?
00:19:46Nobody calls me K2.
00:19:46Here's the deal, K2.
00:19:48Just as generations of Alpha's before you,
00:19:52you and your little fembots here
00:19:54are going to have to endure some minor inconveniences
00:19:58to demonstrate you are worthy
00:20:01for a spot in this house.
00:20:04If any of you
00:20:06can't handle it,
00:20:08you are welcome to leave.
00:20:10Bring it, shit weasel.
00:20:12Play your little games.
00:20:14Get that frat bullshit out of your system.
00:20:16But guess what?
00:20:17We're still gonna be here.
00:20:19Are we done?
00:20:21You are dismissed.
00:20:23Whatever.
00:20:24Girls.
00:20:27That didn't go as planned.
00:20:28No, it did not.
00:20:30They have to leave?
00:20:32Oh, they will.
00:20:35I have a plan.
00:20:48Excuse me, ladies.
00:20:49Hey!
00:20:50I'm so sorry.
00:20:51We good?
00:20:51You're watching that.
00:20:52We're watching this now.
00:20:54Oh, go ahead.
00:20:57And this is how they pay for college.
00:21:01Alright, K2.
00:21:02You got the choice between every hole filled with cock,
00:21:04Brazilian whores in Vegas,
00:21:06looks like that won an award,
00:21:07or white men can hop.
00:21:09Oh, sorry.
00:21:10Don't have a TV in my room.
00:21:11Oh, no problem.
00:21:12Boys!
00:21:14Good to go, boss.
00:21:15Good, thank you.
00:21:16Alright!
00:21:17White men can hop but is!
00:21:20Alright, let's get those titties bouncing!
00:21:22Nice.
00:21:26Home movie?
00:21:27Uh, sorry.
00:21:28It's...
00:21:29It's part of...
00:21:29You know...
00:21:32It's alright.
00:21:33Hey, I might even learn a thing or two.
00:21:36I...
00:21:37Uh...
00:21:38Gotta go.
00:21:45This is not why I joined your stupid sorority.
00:21:49Change is never easy, Renee.
00:21:50But we're not about to let some...
00:21:52smutty videos break us.
00:21:55We will persevere.
00:21:57Hello, ladies!
00:21:59Have we got a treat for you!
00:22:01And now the shirts.
00:22:02What is this?
00:22:03Oh, well, we thought that the house could do something
00:22:04a little more solidarity.
00:22:07So...
00:22:07What each and every one of you is going to do
00:22:09is think of the sluttiest thing you've ever done
00:22:11on a first date,
00:22:11write it on the shirt,
00:22:12and wear it to dinner.
00:22:13What?
00:22:14No!
00:22:15Why not?
00:22:16Come on!
00:22:16We're doing it, too.
00:22:18See?
00:22:19Solidarity!
00:22:21Besides, president's orders.
00:22:22Right, Cam?
00:22:23Fucking A!
00:22:24See you all at dinner.
00:22:25Bye.
00:22:28I'm not doing this.
00:22:30Yes, you are.
00:22:31We all are.
00:22:32Think of all the women who've stood up
00:22:34for what they believe is right.
00:22:35Elizabeth Blackwell.
00:22:37Susan B. Anthony.
00:22:38Sneaky!
00:22:41If those women could endure all they had to go through,
00:22:45surely we can endure this.
00:22:48Right, ladies?
00:22:50All of you, start writing.
00:22:53And be truthful.
00:22:55We wouldn't want to compromise our integrity.
00:23:01Jessica.
00:23:03I said, be truthful.
00:23:06Oh, shit.
00:23:22I made these for you.
00:23:24I must read what I've learned
00:23:41Kira..
00:23:42Kira..
00:23:42God, DUDE!
00:23:43I don't know what the fuck this is!
00:23:45Oh, RELAXX.
00:23:46Right?
00:23:46All right, I am on it.
00:23:54Está funcionando.
00:23:56All right, titty cam number one, it's ready for its broadcast day.
00:24:00Sweet.
00:24:01Let's roll.
00:24:06Be careful, be careful.
00:24:16Well, you see me hanging on the bar, and I'm looking like a movie star now.
00:24:27Perfection.
00:24:29Man, you like the way I fill my jeans, and you like the way my gold tooth gleams.
00:24:42I get a sense of your attraction.
00:24:48But you might want to play a different course of action.
00:24:54Cause I'm trash, yeah I'm trash.
00:24:57Somebody help me cause I'm flat on my ass.
00:25:01Cause I'm trash, yeah I'm trash.
00:25:04Somebody help me cause I'm ready to crash.
00:25:07I'm all out of luck, and I'm all out of cash now.
00:25:12No, no, no, no, no, hold it!
00:25:16Well, I got dust collecting in my home, and I got dust collecting on my phone now.
00:25:23I got dust collecting on my phone now.
00:25:29Jackpot.
00:25:30I just so don't want to go to flight class today.
00:25:33Hey, how was history yesterday?
00:25:35Fuck the feminist movement.
00:25:37Turn around, turn around.
00:25:40They make the Disney princesses seem like they're bad.
00:25:44I mean, hello, they get everything they wanted.
00:25:47What the fuck was that?
00:25:49Hey, did you see that?
00:25:51Asshole!
00:25:57Zack, Zack, you gotta check out this footage.
00:26:00It's totally epic.
00:26:01Maybe later, guys.
00:26:03Titties!
00:26:09Hey there!
00:26:10Spot! Can a guy get some...
00:26:12Oh.
00:26:15Hi.
00:26:16Studying, huh?
00:26:18Trying to.
00:26:20Just like old times.
00:26:21You remember our first date?
00:26:24Seventh grade.
00:26:26After school, you asked me to meet you.
00:26:28In the library.
00:26:30Right.
00:26:31You said you wanted me to help you with your history assignment, but I seem to remember what you really
00:26:36wanted was to feel my boobs.
00:26:38Under their sweater, over the bra, if I remember correctly.
00:26:41Oh, you remember.
00:26:43So, what are you studying now?
00:26:46Oh.
00:26:47History.
00:26:48You don't say.
00:26:52I'll let you get to it.
00:27:01We should shower again from our office.
00:27:03Yeah, it's so much fun.
00:27:05It's good for the environment.
00:27:06It is.
00:27:07I know, we're speaking to water.
00:27:08Helping bunnies.
00:27:09Yeah.
00:27:12You're a bitch!
00:27:14Oh, man.
00:27:16Thank you.
00:27:17Thank you.
00:27:17Thank you.
00:27:20Thank you.
00:27:23Do you have to be such an asshole?
00:27:25I think you mean president asshole.
00:27:31I'm taking this to the dean.
00:27:33Y'all would love to get her an Alabama Hot Pocket.
00:27:36I have no idea what that means.
00:27:37I'll tell you about it later.
00:27:39Stop.
00:27:40Stop me.
00:27:41Stop.
00:27:45You're serious?
00:27:47Well, now you're just flirting with me academically, aren't you?
00:27:49No, seriously.
00:27:50Those are impressive numbers.
00:27:53I'm on the phone!
00:27:54I'm going to lunch.
00:27:56Be back by one.
00:27:58By three.
00:28:00Yes!
00:28:01Yes!
00:28:01Well, I look forward to speaking about Virgin Mary much more as well.
00:28:07Yes, yes, Alpha House Project is moving forward.
00:28:10Students are getting along.
00:28:12No, no, no, no complaints.
00:28:14And if there are, there's always provision 13.
00:28:23Listen, if we have to use it, we most definitely will.
00:28:28Listen up, ladies.
00:28:29The game has changed.
00:28:30Before you know it, we're going to have this house all to ourselves.
00:28:33How?
00:28:34Like this.
00:28:37What are you doing?
00:28:38What we have to do to take this house.
00:28:41Saddle up, girls.
00:28:43It's time to blow some minds.
00:28:54Hey, Cameron.
00:28:55Hey.
00:28:56Hey, what's up, K2?
00:28:58Um, I just really wanted to apologize for the way I've been acting lately.
00:29:02Really?
00:29:03Yeah.
00:29:03You know, I know it must be weird being forced to live with a bunch of women.
00:29:07It's a lot to take in all at once.
00:29:09Yeah, it's cool.
00:29:10We've been having fun.
00:29:12Yeah, totally.
00:29:13Us too.
00:29:15Anyways, the girls and I wanted to offer you a kind of peace offering.
00:29:18Oh, a peace offering?
00:29:20Yeah.
00:29:21You know, for all the trouble we've caused you, it's the least we can do.
00:29:26So, dinner tonight at the house?
00:29:29On us?
00:29:30Sure, sounds good.
00:29:32Perfect.
00:29:33I'll see you then.
00:29:34And remember to dress nice.
00:29:36We've got something really special planned.
00:29:38Alright.
00:29:39See ya.
00:29:40Okay.
00:29:40Bye.
00:30:03Good evening, gentlemen.
00:30:05We, your Alpha Sisters, would like to thank you for welcoming us so warmly into your home.
00:30:09As a token of our gratitude, we prepared a very special meal for you tonight.
00:30:14One I think you'll remember for a long time.
00:30:22Please, take a seat.
00:30:24We'll stop.
00:30:31Nooooo.
00:30:45Enjoy your dinner boys.
00:30:57I don't know about y'all fellas, but I am famished.
00:31:11Time for stage two.
00:31:17Yes. Associate Dean Marshall, please.
00:31:24Don't you like what you see?
00:31:26Everything looks delicious.
00:31:29Then it helps itself.
00:31:39Do it! Do it!
00:31:41No!
00:31:42No!
00:31:48Time for stage two.
00:31:52Tell me what you want.
00:31:55Stay with me, I'll take you down your side.
00:31:59Do you have any wasabi?
00:32:04Almost.
00:32:06Huh.
00:32:10Tickle.
00:32:27Bangorang.
00:32:31Oh, my God.
00:32:37Dude, they're just boobs, man.
00:32:40No, no, no, no. He's choking.
00:32:42Oh, my God!
00:32:43Does anybody know the Heimlich?
00:32:44Everybody, relax. I'm a lifeguard.
00:32:47Look at all.
00:32:49Oh, careful.
00:32:54Are you okay?
00:32:55Are you okay? Look at my face, asshole.
00:32:57What is going on?
00:33:02Oh.
00:33:23I'd say I was disappointed, but doesn't quite cover it.
00:33:27Oh, a gasp!
00:33:28Crest falling.
00:33:29Disgrace.
00:33:29Irate.
00:33:29Disrespectful.
00:33:30Melancholy.
00:33:30Pissed off!
00:33:31I think does it.
00:33:32That's a good one.
00:33:34Because of your antics and heinous treatment of sushi,
00:33:38I've been forced to expel members of your fraternity
00:33:41for indecency and fraternization.
00:33:43And I particularly expected more from you, Ms. Kramer.
00:33:45Me too.
00:33:46Shut up, potty-mouth.
00:33:48I'm so sorry, sir.
00:33:49It won't happen again.
00:33:51Good.
00:33:52Because I will not hesitate to put each and every one of you out on the street
00:33:59if you cannot follow the rules.
00:34:06That is all.
00:34:12Baker's gone.
00:34:14Um, so what?
00:34:15Are we done?
00:34:16We're just getting started.
00:34:18We dial it up a notch.
00:34:19We just can't get caught in the process.
00:34:24One man eliminated.
00:34:25But now, we've lost two of our own.
00:34:29That was sloppy.
00:34:31From now on, we play smarter.
00:34:33We play harder.
00:34:35We can't afford to have any more casualties.
00:34:49Buddy, you sure it's going to work?
00:34:51Dude, please.
00:34:53I switched to do these this morning.
00:34:56Well, this is going to be educational.
00:35:00Oh, shh.
00:35:02Ah, I'm dying.
00:35:06Good afternoon.
00:35:08My presentation is on Pompeii.
00:35:13In 79 AD, the Italian city of Pompeii was destroyed by the sudden and devastating eruption of Mount Vesuvius.
00:35:23For centuries before its ruin, however, Pompeii was a thriving metropolis, a place of wealth and abundance.
00:35:31In fact, its citizens produced works of art, dance, and music still admirable today.
00:35:37You don't say.
00:35:38You don't say.
00:35:40Thanks.
00:35:42Little did the people know that danger is lurking in the peaks and mountains nearby.
00:35:51I'm gonna work with her.
00:35:53Oh my God!
00:35:55My God!
00:35:58Oh my God!
00:36:00Ah!
00:36:02Oh my God!
00:36:03No!
00:36:03Move!
00:36:04Move!
00:36:04I left it!
00:36:05You don't love it!
00:36:05No!
00:36:06No!
00:36:07Oh my God!
00:36:11¡Ah!
00:36:12¡Ah!
00:36:13¡No, no, no, no!
00:36:14¡No, no, no, no!
00:36:14¡Kill your children and your children's children!
00:36:18¡Ah! ¡Como!
00:36:27¡Ah!
00:36:34So, Abby seems to think you guys had something to do with her presentation earlier.
00:36:40Uh, I assure you we had nothing to do with the destruction of Pompeii.
00:36:45Whatever.
00:36:48I'm sorry that Edgar got kicked out last night.
00:36:51Yeah, same about Jessica and Katie.
00:36:56Who would have thought that Associate Dean Douchebag was actually a man of his word?
00:37:00Still not sure why he showed up at that exact moment though.
00:37:05Just bad luck I guess.
00:37:07Hey, do you remember that night in high school when we were in Johnny Peterson's basement
00:37:13and you threw up all over his coffee table?
00:37:16Oh, yes.
00:37:18I told his mom I was sick with the flu.
00:37:20Did not have the heart to tell her that we got into his dad's liquor.
00:37:23Yeah, I drank you under the table that night.
00:37:25What?
00:37:26I'm just saying, you are kind of a lightweight.
00:37:29Oh, really?
00:37:30Really.
00:37:31Really.
00:37:32Really.
00:37:35Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Sip or Strip.
00:37:39The rules are simple.
00:37:40You flip this coin and call it in the air.
00:37:42Get it right, you take a shot.
00:37:43Get it wrong, you remove an article of clothing and take a shot.
00:37:48If you pass out or end up naked, you're out.
00:37:51The last man, or woman, standing, wins the game.
00:37:58There are no prizes.
00:38:00This is simply a challenge to determine the better sex.
00:38:03Are you ready?
00:38:04Yeah!
00:38:05I said, are you fucking ready?
00:38:11Good.
00:38:12Let the games begin.
00:38:13Go real, bro.
00:38:15Go real, bro, bro.
00:38:31Go real, bro.OSP
00:38:35beide
00:38:46¡Gracias!
00:39:16¡Gracias!
00:39:54¡Gracias!
00:40:10¡Gracias!
00:40:12¡Gracias!
00:40:13I'm so beating you right now.
00:40:14Alright then, let's finish this.
00:40:19Heads.
00:40:38Oh, easy now.
00:40:42I want a rematch.
00:40:44Okay, lie back.
00:40:45Because you're very, very drunk right now.
00:40:57We can't do this.
00:41:05I swear they lost for a lifetime.
00:41:12The things I said, the things I said.
00:41:16I always had to keep you hanging.
00:41:20I am.
00:41:22I'm what I want to be.
00:41:24You are.
00:41:26You're just a fantasy.
00:41:28We are.
00:41:30Please, I'm hurting this time around.
00:41:35Hey.
00:41:40Light weight.
00:41:57So, what's this time?
00:42:07What am I doing here?
00:42:09How did I get here?
00:42:10You pay?
00:42:19What the hell is going on here?
00:42:22Exactly what I said would happen when one of your boys crossed the line.
00:42:25What?
00:42:25Nobody.
00:42:25I found them with a few of my girls in their rooms.
00:42:28Huh.
00:42:29Sounds pretty consensual to me.
00:42:30No.
00:42:31It sounds like you can aspire to get them drunk so you can take advantage of them.
00:42:34Oh, horse shit.
00:42:36You were there.
00:42:37I suggest you boys begin adhering to the rules.
00:42:42Otherwise, you'll all be looking for a new home.
00:42:48Kelly's going to wipe us out if we don't get some help.
00:42:51I think I know just the person.
00:42:53I think I know just the person.
00:43:20That, my boys, is my cousin Natalie.
00:43:23She's our inside man.
00:43:25Cameron.
00:43:27Boys.
00:43:28I heard you need some help.
00:43:30Yeah, you have no idea.
00:43:32Fucking tongue-becking faces.
00:43:35Come on, baby.
00:43:36What about that?
00:43:49I'm busy, Stephanie!
00:43:50He's busy.
00:43:52I don't give a rat's ass.
00:43:53Marshall.
00:43:54What the devil are you up to?
00:43:56Dean Bungalon.
00:43:58I'm not quite sure what you're referring to.
00:44:01Alpha House?
00:44:02You're trying to launch some kind of co-ed program?
00:44:05Yes, yes.
00:44:06The first of its kind in the state, in fact.
00:44:09Very progressive.
00:44:11And certainly within my remit as associate dean.
00:44:14But I hear that it has resulted in the ejection of some students from the fraternity.
00:44:18Yes, it's unfortunate but necessary.
00:44:21My ass.
00:44:22I cannot for the life of me figure out why you would think it's a good idea
00:44:26to put a bunch of sexed-up young adults under one roof.
00:44:29What did you think was going to happen?
00:44:31The benefits of the program far outweigh the risks.
00:44:34Making the Greek system co-ed fosters unity between the genders
00:44:38and offers for a more cohesive living situation.
00:44:42But no fraternization with the opposite sex?
00:44:45You're suppressing their natural urges.
00:44:47Hell, when I was an alpha...
00:44:49Yes, yes.
00:44:50We all know about the old days when you went Greek, sir.
00:44:54The point is, students come to Sterling College
00:44:58to learn and to have fun.
00:44:59Not to be put into some social experiment.
00:45:02I appreciate your concern, sir.
00:45:04I don't know what your endgame is, Marshall.
00:45:07But if I get a call that says that this little plant of yours went tits up,
00:45:12it's your ass, not mine.
00:45:15Tits up my ass.
00:45:16Got it.
00:45:18Will there be anything else, sir?
00:45:21No.
00:45:22Carry on with, um, whatever it is you're doing here.
00:45:33Ladies, this is Natalie.
00:45:35She just transferred to Sterling.
00:45:37So please, make her feel at home.
00:45:39Bye, Natalie.
00:45:40Hey.
00:45:41I'm Emily.
00:45:42I'm Allison.
00:45:43Hi.
00:45:47Here comes a modern man.
00:45:48Perfect hair and spray on tan cuff links.
00:45:52It's bridling.
00:45:53He's better realizing bottom runs like you.
00:45:56I sanctify.
00:45:59Yes!
00:46:00Yes!
00:46:00Yes!
00:46:00Yes!
00:46:00Yes!
00:46:01Yes!
00:46:02Yes!
00:46:03Yes!
00:46:03Don't you wanna be rich and tough?
00:46:06Fuckin' smug.
00:46:07You're an ugly.
00:46:16He's better than you are.
00:46:18A bigger dick, a faster cost.
00:46:20Yeah, I'm tired.
00:46:21Smooth lies.
00:46:22He works it wireless.
00:46:24Plus, there's the entire list.
00:46:26Super size.
00:46:28Don't you wanna be wise enough?
00:46:31Don't you wanna be rich and tough?
00:46:34Fuckin' smug.
00:46:36Cooler than I do.
00:46:39Congratulations.
00:46:41You're the top of the heap.
00:46:44You get results that we can save.
00:46:51Here's some flotation cause you're drowning in it.
00:46:57Take a big whiff, you'll see.
00:47:01You suck worse than me.
00:47:09Well, he's a five-year planter, skyloft, and a warmer rider.
00:47:12Take this.
00:47:14He's here.
00:47:15He hasn't been aware.
00:47:17He's been to ever band twice.
00:47:19Twice.
00:47:19Come on, it's done.
00:47:21Boom.
00:47:21Don't you wanna be wise enough?
00:47:24Don't you wanna be rich and tough?
00:47:27But there's not a yellow with him save.
00:47:32Congratulations.
00:47:33You're the top of the heap.
00:47:37You get results that we can save.
00:47:43Here's some flotation cause you're drowning in it.
00:47:49Take a big whiff, you'll see.
00:47:54Thank you, sir.
00:48:04You're the king of douchebags and disease.
00:48:13Yeah, you suck worse than caught by the three.
00:48:21Any progress with Kelly?
00:48:22No progress there.
00:48:23That girl is rab-tider than a condom on Peter Nord's dick.
00:48:26Just keep trying to break that hymen, okay?
00:48:28If you see any opportunity to take some leverage, take it.
00:48:31Roger that.
00:48:33I love you, cousin.
00:48:40I need you to do some research for me.
00:48:42I think we have a double agent in our midst.
00:48:44Find out everything you can about that new girl, Natalie.
00:48:47I'm on it.
00:48:50Time to turn up the heat.
00:48:58Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:49:00Okay, not, not, not in here.
00:49:02This is our basement.
00:49:04Okay, this is our territory.
00:49:06Haven't you ever heard of burlesque or size?
00:49:16Okay, but, like, like, five minutes.
00:49:21No distress, but XOS on the quest, we manifest at request.
00:49:24Nevertheless, SOS, I'm feeling helpless.
00:49:26Keeping true on the quest, to lose you will be a mess.
00:49:28So I'm paying for the best, and I guess we've got to do something right.
00:49:32Better do it tonight, otherwise I love what we shine it right.
00:49:35We're keeping our life tight, you shine like a neon light.
00:49:38So tell me what we're doing tonight.
00:49:40Tonight, tonight, tonight.
00:49:40Tonight, tonight, tonight.
00:49:46Tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight, tonight,
00:49:55We can make a ten.
00:49:56We can make a ten.
00:50:25We can make a ten.
00:50:27We can make a ten.
00:50:28We can make a ten.
00:50:33We can make a ten.
00:51:14Gracias por ver el video.
00:51:36Gracias por ver el video.
00:52:00Gracias por ver el video.
00:52:04Gracias por ver el video.
00:52:07There we go.
00:52:09That's me.
00:52:17Oh, shit.
00:52:19Ouch.
00:52:22What is going on in here?
00:52:23Here we go.
00:52:46Here we go.
00:52:48Here we go.
00:52:48The house, okay?
00:52:49We're dropping like flies.
00:52:51I wish I could get Allison and drop her pants.
00:52:53I bet her kudos is like fine China.
00:52:56Dude, now you're just being creepy.
00:52:58Guys, we can do this.
00:53:01We're alphas for Christ's sake.
00:53:03All right, we'll wear them down.
00:53:04You'll see.
00:53:16Um, you okay?
00:53:19We're not going to make it.
00:53:20Not with you girls walking around the house flunting your goods.
00:53:22Flunting our goods?
00:53:23We're not built to defend against this.
00:53:25It's like you're actually trying to get us tossed out.
00:53:32All I ever wanted was to be an alpha.
00:53:46What are you doing?
00:53:48Just flaunting my goods.
00:53:55Let it burn your eyes.
00:54:01God is off the skies.
00:54:05On these wings you will rise.
00:54:10Let the smoke between us friends.
00:54:12Let us tie up any loose ends.
00:54:15Shiver boom.
00:54:20Feeling better?
00:54:21Uh, yeah.
00:54:26I need to tell you something.
00:54:29You're right about us.
00:54:32Kelly is trying to take over Alpha House and turn it into a sorority.
00:54:36What?
00:54:37How?
00:54:38It's something called provision 13.
00:54:42It states that if the ratio of either gender falls below 40%,
00:54:45the gender that has the majority has control.
00:54:49That's why you guys have been getting kicked out, so that we have the majority.
00:54:54We've been playing you the entire time.
00:54:59I'm sorry.
00:55:12Oh, you asshole!
00:55:14You crossed enemy lines!
00:55:15I can't believe you're fucking her!
00:55:17Smell any!
00:55:18Of all of them!
00:55:18It was just once!
00:55:19Oh!
00:55:20And a half.
00:55:23Okay.
00:55:24Look.
00:55:25I am sorry that I punched you.
00:55:28But you fucking deserved it, you know that?
00:55:30I know.
00:55:31Shit!
00:55:33Shit!
00:55:35So what do we do now, huh?
00:55:36Big guy?
00:55:39I have an idea.
00:55:40Sí, sí, sí, sí, sí, sí.
00:56:11Ok, let's do this. Quick in, quick out. Thank you, mom. Dick.
00:56:15Ok.
00:56:21You finding anything?
00:56:22Ah, no.
00:56:24Do, do, do, do, do, check it out.
00:56:28What?
00:56:32Got it.
00:56:33Alright, now let's rub our balls all over his office.
00:56:35Dips on his phone.
00:56:36Don't worry about that.
00:56:39Shit.
00:56:41Oh, shit.
00:56:45I want you to fuck me on my freak boss's desk.
00:56:52Treat me like a fat girl.
00:56:54Oh, you're such a freak when we did it in Marshall's office.
00:56:59Enjoy it when it's your baby.
00:57:02Marshall's got his eye on a dean position at Virgin Mary College.
00:57:06Prestigious, expensive, and all girls.
00:57:10Why do you think he came up with that freak idea?
00:57:12To co-ed all the fraternities.
00:57:15He had to show his commitment to women's issues in order to seal the deal.
00:57:20Marshall's such a fucking freak.
00:57:22He only wants that job so that he can flirt with college girls.
00:57:26Flip.
00:57:33Gentlemen, we are not going to sit idly by and watch our beloved fraternity be stolen from beneath our feet.
00:57:40From this night forward, we do everything in our powers to stop the advancement of Kelly and the muggy dick
00:57:44lover we know as Associate Dean Douchebag.
00:57:46How?
00:57:48Well...
00:57:49Enough with the drawings. Just tell them the plan.
00:57:52First, we vow not to touch the poon.
00:57:56So keep it in your pants.
00:57:57Then, we beat those lying, disingenuous, fraudulent, mendacious, perfidious, whores at their own game.
00:58:08Who's with us?
00:58:14Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Brief Charity Days, where all proceeds earned by students are donated to the charity of
00:58:22every fraternity and sorority's choice.
00:58:28Hmm.
00:58:30Yep.
00:58:31Not exactly the turnout I was expecting, but it's still not pretty shitty, actually.
00:58:37I appreciate it.
00:58:38Yeah.
00:58:40The, uh, girls seem to be doing pretty well.
00:58:44Suspiciously well.
00:58:46Come get your kisses!
00:58:56Dude, give me ten dollars.
00:58:58Dude, stop it!
00:58:59Alright?
00:59:00Hey everyone!
00:59:01Ooh, look!
00:59:02Give money to charity today!
00:59:08Oh, are you gonna squirt me with your big gun?
00:59:11Hmm.
00:59:12That'll be seventy-five dollars.
00:59:15Thanks.
00:59:17Think you can squirt?
00:59:26Dude, we are in trouble, man.
00:59:28Big trouble.
00:59:30Zach!
00:59:31Uh, Zach?
00:59:32Zach who?
00:59:33Oh, come on, Cameron.
00:59:35Oh, Zach!
00:59:37He's not here.
00:59:38Did you see it?
00:59:40Really?
00:59:41You're that pissed at me?
00:59:44Uh, he says that you liked him and that he was bad at the sex.
00:59:48What did you expect me to do?
00:59:49I'm trying to fit in, be a part of the group, just like you.
00:59:52You would have done the same thing.
00:59:54Probably already have.
00:59:57He says that he has nothing else to say to you.
00:59:58Well, I have nothing else to say to him either.
01:00:01Dude, she's cute.
01:00:02We need to figure something out.
01:00:03We need to figure this.
01:00:03You're a decent body, too.
01:00:04We need to get serious.
01:00:05Hey, I have a question.
01:00:05If you're, like, done with her, do you think I could, like...
01:00:07Cam!
01:00:09You like her!
01:00:11Shut up.
01:00:11You like smellin' me!
01:00:12I fuckin' knew it!
01:00:18Hey guys!
01:00:19Zach likes Melanie!
01:00:20Okay, you get one more of those and I swear to Christ, I'm gonna punch you right in the gooch.
01:00:26Whatcha got?
01:00:27Almost finished.
01:00:29Check it out.
01:00:30Nice!
01:00:31And the website?
01:00:32Ready to roll!
01:00:36Five bucks a day?
01:00:37Keeps the blue balls away.
01:00:39Make it ten.
01:00:41We're getting creamed out there.
01:00:43Ten it is!
01:00:44Comeback time.
01:00:52I know that Kelly is into this whole empowerment thing, but I kind of just want to rage and get
01:01:01some dick, you know?
01:01:02Shit.
01:01:03What's the call supposed to be all about, right?
01:01:05I totally agree.
01:01:09Hey, Renee, can you move to the right a bit?
01:01:14Why?
01:01:15I wanted to get a better look at your bra. It's really nice.
01:01:20You think so?
01:01:21Yeah, can I see it?
01:01:22Yeah.
01:01:23I finally splurged and got myself some new ones.
01:01:27Here you go.
01:01:30Perfecto.
01:01:31It is nice.
01:01:33I love your cousin.
01:01:35Touch her and I'll kill you, man.
01:01:36Literally.
01:01:38It's cute.
01:01:39It would get me dick.
01:01:41Oh, it definitely was.
01:01:44Nice job, boys.
01:01:46We have a problem.
01:01:48Camera sevens off wide.
01:01:49Which one is that?
01:01:50It's the one in K2's room.
01:01:51Oh, shit.
01:01:52You think she found it?
01:01:53I don't know.
01:01:54If she did, she'd be in here cutting her dicks off, right?
01:01:57Wouldn't she?
01:01:58Oh, fuck.
01:02:18Yeah.
01:02:18Dude, so how much have we made so far?
01:02:19$12,000.
01:02:20What?
01:02:21Yeah, and that's just the first day, dude.
01:02:22I'm telling you.
01:02:23Zach, if we keep going like this, we're going to be able to buy our own fraternity.
01:02:26Hey, February.
01:02:27Dude, that's like the third time that's happened to me today.
01:02:29What?
01:02:30Called you February?
01:02:31Yeah, weird, right?
01:02:32Yeah.
01:02:34Hello, boys.
01:02:35Ladies, would you like your coffee's autograph?
01:02:39Hey, ladies, there's plenty of me to go around.
01:02:42Now, exactly what am I autographing?
01:02:43This.
01:02:45Oh, shit.
01:02:47What happened to my dick?
01:02:48I know.
01:02:49I'm so sorry.
01:02:50This is not what I look like.
01:02:51This is not what I look like.
01:02:52I have a friend who's really good at photo editing.
01:02:54Give me that.
01:02:59Mine's crooked.
01:03:00Actually, it's a perfect right angle.
01:03:02My dick does not look like this.
01:03:04Dude, calm down.
01:03:05No.
01:03:06No, I will not calm down.
01:03:07I need the world to know that I do not have a goddamn 90-degree penis.
01:03:11In fact, I am going to show everybody.
01:03:13Dude, keep your pants on.
01:03:14Nope.
01:03:14I'm going to prove it right now to everybody.
01:03:16This is not over.
01:03:16Not yet.
01:03:17Come on.
01:03:17I want to show them.
01:03:18No.
01:03:19Kelly.
01:03:20What's wrong?
01:03:20I've got that research you asked for, Natalie.
01:03:24Cousins?!
01:03:24I've got to show my second reference.
01:03:48I don't know.
01:03:50I don't know.
01:03:50I don't know.
01:03:50I don't know.
01:03:50I don't know.
01:03:53I don't know what to do.
01:03:58¡Gracias por ver el video!
01:04:29¡Gracias por ver el video!
01:04:54No, it didn't have to be this way.
01:04:58We could have changed Sterling College for the better.
01:05:02We could have found a way to live together as equals.
01:05:07But instead, you had to sow the seeds of discontent.
01:05:11And you know what happened?
01:05:13¡You raked the fucking whirlwind!
01:05:15¡That's what happened!
01:05:17Oh.
01:05:21You're sexy when you're megalomaniacal.
01:05:24Laugh it up, Frodo.
01:05:25But tonight, I'll be sleeping in my nice, warm bed.
01:05:29In this very house.
01:05:31Where will you be sleeping?
01:05:33Oh, well, it's Tuesday, so that would be with your mom.
01:05:37Ah!
01:05:40Oh.
01:05:44Later, losers.
01:05:46Come on, ladies. Let's go.
01:05:50I'm really sorry, boys.
01:05:53I wish there was something I could do.
01:05:54Yeah, yeah, me too.
01:05:56But, um, unfortunately, my hands are tied.
01:05:59Yeah, I'm sure.
01:06:01Come on, guys.
01:06:19I brought all the paperwork to officially turn Alpha House into the Delta Pi Sorority.
01:06:23All you have to do is sign right here.
01:06:29Is there something wrong?
01:06:31I'm afraid we are going in a different direction.
01:06:35You see, the co-ed fraternity project was meant to showcase how Sterling College fosters productive interaction between the genders.
01:06:43I'm sure you'll agree it was an unmitigated disaster.
01:06:47I don't understand.
01:06:48What about Provision 13?
01:06:50Give you the fraternity.
01:06:52Oh, I don't know.
01:06:53Why don't I also open up a brothel?
01:06:58After what you girls did?
01:07:00Oh, I don't think so.
01:07:02I did what you told me to do.
01:07:04Hmm?
01:07:05Can you prove that?
01:07:08Oh, I don't think so.
01:07:10You have 24 hours to vacate Alpha House.
01:07:18That is all.
01:07:36We need to talk.
01:07:39Alpha's no longer a fraternity.
01:07:41Yeah, no shit.
01:07:42You made sure of that, Cruella DeVille.
01:07:44We were just following Marshall's orders.
01:07:46He told me he wanted to show how he was this big supporter of female empowerment by turning the most
01:07:50sexist fraternity on campus into a sorority.
01:07:52But in the end, he just wanted to shut it down.
01:07:54And he used us to do it.
01:07:56Wait, shut it down?
01:07:57Completely.
01:07:58Abandoned.
01:07:58Boarded up.
01:07:59We're just as homeless as you are now.
01:08:01I know that I don't deserve this.
01:08:02That we don't deserve this after what we did.
01:08:04But we can't just sit back and watch Alpha House disappear.
01:08:08What, we?
01:08:09Yes, we.
01:08:10That dickweed needs to get what's coming to him.
01:08:12Nobody crosses Kelly Dorothy Kramer.
01:08:14Kramer.
01:08:16I love Dorothy.
01:08:17Shut up.
01:08:18Now are you going to help us get Alpha House back or what?
01:08:21I don't know.
01:08:22You did already break our trust once.
01:08:25Please.
01:08:26We'll do anything.
01:08:28Anything?
01:08:43Looking good, ladies.
01:08:46We're in.
01:08:46Admin building, 2 p.m.
01:08:47And don't feel the need to change on account of us, okay?
01:08:57I'm sorry, but there's absolutely nothing I can do to overturn Associate Dean Marshall's decision.
01:09:01What about the Alpha Creed?
01:09:02Yeah, once an Alpha, always an Alpha.
01:09:05I really wish I could help you.
01:09:08Thank you, sir.
01:09:09We really appreciate your time.
01:09:12Of course, if Marshall was to lose his position with the administration, all of his policies would be reviewed.
01:09:20Well, wait a minute.
01:09:21Are you saying that if we get Dean Marshall kicked out of the college that we might be able to
01:09:24get Alpha House back?
01:09:25Well, the reason for his dismissal would have to be something pretty effing dishonorable.
01:09:31Something so scandalous that the college would disown all of his decisions, just to distance itself from him.
01:09:37Dishonorable.
01:09:39Scandalous.
01:09:41We'll do it.
01:09:42Of course, this conversation never happened.
01:09:46Of course.
01:09:47Thank you, Dean.
01:09:51Once an Alpha, always an Alpha.
01:09:55Cameron, can you take a team into Marshall's office?
01:09:57Place cameras here, here, and here.
01:09:59Roger that.
01:10:01Once you're in, be fast.
01:10:02In and out.
01:10:03But make sure the cameras are invisible.
01:10:05Undetectable.
01:10:06We need full coverage.
01:10:08Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
01:10:11Come on, let's go.
01:10:13Whatever he does in that office, we need to see it.
01:10:15What do you think we'll find?
01:10:16I don't know, but based on what his assistant said, probably some freaky ass shit.
01:10:20Yeah!
01:10:32Did he just ask to get fucked in the ass by a chick wearing a squirrel costume?
01:10:35Yeah, I think so.
01:10:37I think I just kicked in my mouth a little.
01:10:39What are we going to do with all this intel after we gather it?
01:10:41We bait the trap.
01:10:42Good morning, Stephanie.
01:10:48Nice to see you working.
01:10:53What is this?
01:11:00Oh, oh, oh, oh my.
01:11:07I'm going to lunch.
01:11:28What's the password?
01:11:31Acorn!
01:11:32Acorn!
01:11:34Hello?
01:11:35Anyone here?
01:11:36I don't know.
01:11:44Um, Miss Furry Double Stuff?
01:11:47Hold on.
01:11:48Make yourself at home.
01:11:54Wow.
01:11:55I, uh, I knew you had a lot of stuff, but, um, oh.
01:12:05This is so disgusting.
01:12:08I think you mean this is so awesome.
01:12:14Isn't this what you wanted, Mr. Rosenbush?
01:12:18Oh, sweet, my Jesus, weeps.
01:12:32Um, please, uh, call me Tiger.
01:12:36His porn name is Tiger Rosenbush.
01:12:40That's better than mine.
01:12:42Moki McKinley.
01:12:43See, K2, what you do?
01:12:45I know how it works.
01:12:47And no, I'm not going to tell you my name.
01:12:51Okay.
01:12:53Tiger.
01:12:54Oh.
01:13:02Take your pants off.
01:13:04Okay.
01:13:05Right away, Miss Dullestaff.
01:13:09Okay, okay, okay, okay.
01:13:12Almost there.
01:13:17Boxer briefs.
01:13:18Oh.
01:13:20I can never make up my mind.
01:13:21Lose them.
01:13:29Where is it?
01:13:31That's it.
01:13:32Isn't it?
01:13:32No, no, no, no, that's a smudge.
01:13:34Oh.
01:13:35Ready?
01:13:36Mama Squirrel Loves Nuts.
01:13:38Oh.
01:13:40Oh, you do.
01:13:42Bark like a dog.
01:13:44What?
01:13:45Bark.
01:13:45Rough.
01:13:47Louder.
01:13:52Meow like a pussycat.
01:13:53Meow, meow, meow.
01:13:54Meow, meow, meow.
01:13:55And what does the cow say?
01:13:56The cow says moo.
01:13:57Oh, the cow says moo.
01:13:59Are you ready, Tiger?
01:14:02It's great.
01:14:05Oh, my God.
01:14:07Is she going to?
01:14:10Yes, she is.
01:14:14Oh.
01:14:23I am honored to be speaking in front of you today.
01:14:25I am particularly grateful to Provost Elias and the other Virgin Mary administrators for making time in the very busy
01:14:32schedules to be here today.
01:14:34Thank you.
01:14:35Throughout my tenure at Sterling College, I'm most proud of how I fought for equal gender rights.
01:14:43Although I did not achieve the level of success I had hoped with my most recent project, the rehabilitation of
01:14:50Sterling College's most notorious and disrespected fraternity.
01:14:55I swear to you, on my nanny's graves, I will continue the gender fight until I have serviced the needs
01:15:03of every female student.
01:15:05That is so gross.
01:15:08That I proffer my resignation as associate dean of Sterling College.
01:15:12You guys ready?
01:15:13And accept the position of dean of Virgin Mary University.
01:15:19Drop it.
01:15:20Like it's hot.
01:15:22Roll it.
01:15:25What?
01:15:26What was that?
01:15:28Provost Elias, I so look forward to bringing my personal style to Virgin Mary.
01:15:32As well as inserting my rigid ethics into the lives of your most...
01:15:36That's it, right?
01:15:37Yeah.
01:15:38Wonderful student.
01:15:39Now, time for questions and to talk.
01:15:42What is...
01:15:43I'm sorry.
01:15:43Hello.
01:15:45No, no.
01:15:46This is...
01:15:47That is not me.
01:15:47That is...
01:15:48It's Photoshop, people.
01:15:50Oh, my...
01:15:51Thanks for coming.
01:15:52Can we turn this off, please?
01:15:53Oh, my...
01:15:55Please, somebody!
01:15:56Tell me!
01:15:57Which one does it?
01:15:58Where are you?
01:15:59Tell me!
01:16:00Turn it off!
01:16:00There it is!
01:16:02Wait, no.
01:16:03Wait, no, please.
01:16:03No, no, no.
01:16:04Please.
01:16:06It's not.
01:16:08Save it, my friend.
01:16:09I don't understand that we thought you were.
01:16:11There's no place for you at Virgin Mary College after all.
01:16:14Sorry, sorry.
01:16:14Wait a minute.
01:16:15You can't.
01:16:17Tiger Rosenbush?
01:16:19I...
01:16:21Hey, get a good copy of it.
01:16:22Great job.
01:16:27Out of the house!
01:16:33Today, we re-enter an elite brotherhood.
01:16:37And sisterhood.
01:16:39Thank you.
01:16:40Are we ready to uphold the traditions of this fraternity?
01:16:44I mean, fraterna sorority.
01:16:48If you are, let me hear you say, yeah.
01:16:51Yeah!
01:16:52And do we pledge, no matter what,
01:16:55to never let her hallowed halls fall silent,
01:16:58to never let the kegs go dry,
01:17:00and to never, ever,
01:17:04let the party die.
01:17:07If you're with me,
01:17:08let me hear you say,
01:17:09fuck yeah!
01:17:10Fuck yeah!
01:17:17Welcome back
01:17:19to the 24-hour party machine!
01:17:32We're not back in five minutes.
01:17:33I'm putting my clothes back on.
01:17:39I have to say,
01:17:40when I told you guys to find some dirt,
01:17:43I wasn't expecting this.
01:17:45Well, sir,
01:17:46it was a full-team effort.
01:17:47Without everybody involved,
01:17:49never would have happened.
01:17:54I have some fond memories of this place.
01:17:57Throwing back brews,
01:17:58banging tang.
01:18:01Hell, I was the alpha male.
01:18:03Three years running.
01:18:05Sometimes wish I could come back.
01:18:08Sir, you're always welcome back.
01:18:10Once an alpha, always an alpha.
01:18:13I may just take you up on that.
01:18:16Marty, get over here.
01:18:18Tracy is showing us what she learned in Mexico
01:18:20while standing, dude.
01:18:22Come on.
01:18:22Excuse us.
01:18:23Okay.
01:18:27Have a great party.
01:18:28Thank you, sir.
01:18:32You know, I was thinking.
01:18:35Were you?
01:18:35Yeah, I was thinking we could, uh,
01:18:39you know,
01:18:40again,
01:18:41unless, you know,
01:18:42you're still mad at me.
01:18:43Let's go.
01:18:43Okay.
01:18:44Woo!
01:18:44Excuse me, girls.
01:18:54Don't slam the door in my face.
01:18:55Why shouldn't I?
01:18:56Uh, because I...
01:18:58I brought you these.
01:19:03You want to come in?
01:19:06Sure.
01:19:13So, what do you want?
01:19:15Uh, I just...
01:19:18I know you don't like me very much,
01:19:20but since we're officially now roommates...
01:19:22Housemates.
01:19:22Right.
01:19:24I figured that we should start fresh.
01:19:28K2, look,
01:19:29I know I can be a bit of an asshole, but...
01:19:31Cameron.
01:19:32I think that if you got to know me a little more
01:19:34that we might be able to...
01:19:35Cameron.
01:19:35Yeah.
01:19:36Turn around.
01:19:44Bangorang.
01:19:46You're an asshole.
01:19:47President asshole.
01:19:49But I don't hate you.
01:19:51Oh, apparently not.
01:19:55Sadie Saltaire.
01:19:56Uh, what?
01:19:57My porn name.
01:19:59And that's what I want you to call me
01:20:01for the rest of the night.
01:20:03Sadie Saltaire.
01:20:04Uh, anything you say,
01:20:07Miss Saltaire.
01:20:15Bangorang.
01:20:23Hey, little squirrel.
01:20:27You want a nut, little guy?
01:20:34Dude, not cool.
01:20:37You scared him.
01:20:39You want a nut?
01:20:42You patchouli-drenched Birkenstock piece of poop?
01:20:45I'll get your nut.
01:20:47Oh, hey, here's a nut.
01:20:48It is.
01:20:49Have a nut.
01:20:50Whoa, whoa.
01:20:51Would you like another nut?
01:20:52Here's another nut.
01:20:53Here's another nut.
01:20:54Here, take it.
01:20:55What the fuck?
01:20:56What's wrong?
01:20:57Don't you like my nuts?
01:20:58Here.
01:20:59You can't handle my nuts.
01:21:01Take my nuts.
01:21:04Where's the fucking squirrel?
01:21:07Ah!
01:21:08Get over here.
01:21:10God damn you, little fucker.
01:21:13Come here.
01:21:14I see you.
01:21:17Can I?
01:21:17I want that.
01:21:19I want that.
01:21:21I want that.
01:21:22Just enough to get through.
01:21:27But that's not fair.
01:21:29I guess it's cause we're from 1989.
01:21:39We can go on and on and on.
01:21:44Just pretend it's not true.
01:21:48Oh, no.
01:21:50And if we fall, we fall.
01:21:54Well, I get to see what we do.
01:21:58Oh, no.
01:22:00I got no hope.
01:22:01No, no.
01:22:02I don't think she'll dance with me.
01:22:10It's okay.
01:22:27It's okay.
01:22:30I don't think she'll do it.
01:22:39But that's not fair.
01:22:41I guess it's cause we're from 1989.
01:23:15Sincronización Andrea Oroz
01:23:45Sincronización Andrea Oroz
01:24:15Sincronización Andrea Oroz
01:24:47Sincronización Andrea Oroz
01:24:50Sincronización Andrea Oroz
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