- vor 2 Tagen
1997 Busted FULL HOT COMEDY MOVIE Mariana Morgan [Full Movie] [Full Storyline]Full EP - Full
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00:00:22Woh-oh-oh-oh-oh
00:00:30Woh-oh-oh-oh-oh
00:00:33Woh-oh-oh-oh-oh
00:00:36We put together a sweet situation
00:00:40From a plan born in my brain
00:00:44We finally bagged the taste of a good life
00:00:49Took a ride on a gravy train
00:00:52Then it all came crashing down
00:00:56Tell me where we're on
00:01:02But now we're busted, busted
00:01:06We thought we had it under control
00:01:11But now we're busted, busted
00:01:14Ain't nowhere to hide
00:01:23Woh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
00:01:27Woh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
00:01:31Woh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
00:01:35Woh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
00:01:39The bottom fell out of our love boat
00:01:42Now it's time to sink or swim
00:01:45We didn't do any harm to anybody
00:01:50Sometimes fate won't let you in
00:01:5413 A's, we're going to take you for 13 victors, sir
00:01:59Hey, you know, Uncle Alex, I really miss that great white.
00:02:02Things just haven't been the same since he's been gone.
00:02:05Yeah, that fish was a minnow compared to the barracuda I married.
00:02:09Hamilton, where have you been all morning?
00:02:11Out work in the streets. It's a jungle out there.
00:02:14Found a missing earring.
00:02:16Hamilton, hit the streets.
00:02:18Yes, sir.
00:02:19Time for roll call.
00:02:21Let's roll.
00:02:25Lacey?
00:02:26Pumpernickels, sir.
00:02:27Casey?
00:02:28Onion, sir.
00:02:30How?
00:02:30Sesame seed, sir.
00:02:32David?
00:02:34I actually, uh, I wanted the sesame seed.
00:02:37You had it last roll call.
00:02:38Yes, but I wanted it now, too.
00:02:40I like sesame seed.
00:02:42I wanted the damn sesame seed.
00:02:43You, Jimmy, don't fuck it.
00:02:45You, Jimmy, don't fuck it.
00:02:45You, Jimmy, don't fuck it.
00:02:47You, Jimmy, don't fuck it.
00:02:54That's why I'm the captain.
00:02:56Oh, I'm sorry.
00:02:58How do you do?
00:03:00Hey, ladies, knock it off.
00:03:03Where the hell's Clifford?
00:03:04He's down cleaning the sewage pumps, last time I saw him.
00:03:07Yeah, that's where he belongs.
00:03:11All right.
00:03:13We've got a busy day ahead of us.
00:03:16Let's see what we've got this week.
00:03:18All right.
00:03:19So far, we've had robberies, zero.
00:03:22Accidental deaths, zero.
00:03:24Murders, zero.
00:03:26But we have had an increase in the number of women jumping out of their showers and running
00:03:30through the yard.
00:03:32Naked.
00:03:34That, that would be the peeping Tom.
00:03:44We have a sketch.
00:03:49It's a little rough right now, but we're still working on it.
00:03:53You should get a fair idea.
00:03:56Not bad.
00:04:00Really nice.
00:04:01Well, I know it's, uh, it's a little rough, but it's the best I could do right up front.
00:04:07So, basically, I want you to keep doing what you're doing.
00:04:12Keep your eyes out for that peeping Tom.
00:04:18And don't get caught sleeping in the squad car.
00:04:21I, uh, that's because I was using my other senses like an idiot.
00:04:31So, when you go out there today, I want you to fight.
00:04:33Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight.
00:04:36If you run into a criminal and you get in a fight, here's what I want you to do.
00:04:40If he hits you and knocks you down, I want you to get up and fight him again.
00:04:43If he knocks you down again, I want you to get up and fight him harder.
00:04:46If he knocks you down again, I want you to get up and get the hell out of there because
00:04:49you're losing.
00:04:50Now, get out there and lose!
00:04:52Yeah.
00:04:52What?
00:04:54Give me a donut.
00:04:58Captain, he gets the best.
00:05:01I'm yours.
00:05:02Ow.
00:05:03Ow.
00:05:03Hey.
00:05:04What happened to you?
00:05:06Sorry.
00:05:07You missed roll call.
00:05:09Ah, Kaiser.
00:05:11Where were you?
00:05:12I was on a cigarette break.
00:05:13But you don't smoke.
00:05:14Well, it's not what the ladies say.
00:05:31Morning, Lieutenant.
00:05:33Morning, Officers.
00:05:41Amity Police?
00:05:42Is this an emergency?
00:05:43Uh, yes.
00:05:44I would have the greatest respect for you if you could hook me up.
00:05:46Will you have many different kinds of girls there?
00:05:48Yes, sir.
00:05:50Do you have a preference for your afternoon pleasure?
00:05:53Yes.
00:05:53Something in a redhead with big broad shoulders.
00:05:56Ah, someone will be right over to pick you up.
00:05:59David, we got one!
00:06:01Yeah?
00:06:01Who's it for?
00:06:02Be a me!
00:06:03Ah.
00:06:05Oh, good.
00:06:07Wake her up.
00:06:08Wait.
00:06:09Start your cat one.
00:06:11She doesn't need to be awake.
00:06:12Hmm.
00:06:26Hold it right there, miss.
00:06:28Yes?
00:06:28You realize that you were jaywalking?
00:06:31Why?
00:06:31Oh, we have laws around here, miss.
00:06:34Do you think you see?
00:06:35Butt, butt, nothing.
00:06:36Great butt or no butt.
00:06:38You're still getting a ticket.
00:06:39Butts don't stop me.
00:06:40Butt.
00:06:40Don't worry.
00:06:41In case you're wondering, you have a great butt.
00:06:43Hey, attention, you bloody fools.
00:06:45Nice hat.
00:06:46What's the problem?
00:06:47I got a note.
00:06:48I got a note.
00:06:48They came from over there.
00:06:49I got a note.
00:06:50I got a note.
00:06:50Where are you going?
00:06:51Why aren't you chasing me?
00:06:53I cannot believe it.
00:06:54That's a long run.
00:06:55I bet it is.
00:06:56Officer Hamilton.
00:06:58Officer Howe.
00:06:58Yeah.
00:06:59Uh, did you see everything?
00:07:01Everything.
00:07:01Okay.
00:07:02Okay.
00:07:02Where are the perks?
00:07:03Right over there.
00:07:05I, uh, I, uh, I mean the, uh, I mean the guys who robbed the liquor store.
00:07:16Someone robbed the liquor store?
00:07:18Oh, God.
00:07:18Nobody tells me anything.
00:07:20Jeez.
00:07:21I tried to tell you.
00:07:23You're under arrest.
00:07:24I tried to tell you.
00:07:25You're a troublemaker.
00:07:28You're a troublemaker.
00:07:29Walk, walk, walk.
00:07:30Move that ass.
00:07:31Move that ass.
00:07:32Come on, come on.
00:07:33Come on.
00:07:33No, no, no.
00:07:34Let me tell you that.
00:07:36Get out of the way.
00:07:47What have we got here?
00:07:48We had a burglary.
00:07:50I see.
00:07:51Uh, what'd you do?
00:07:54Steal somebody's heart?
00:07:56No.
00:07:59Now, this is the eyewitness.
00:08:02Einstein over there.
00:08:03A Hamilton idiot.
00:08:04Moron.
00:08:05Moron.
00:08:06Idiot.
00:08:06Shut up.
00:08:07Sorry.
00:08:08This big palooka had his back to the whole crime scene and missed everything.
00:08:13She was jaywalking.
00:08:14So, tell me.
00:08:15Okay.
00:08:16Did you see anything?
00:08:17I saw two guys running out of a liquor store.
00:08:18They had shorts on.
00:08:19They had black ski masks.
00:08:20And I tried to tell him.
00:08:22He didn't do anything.
00:08:23Hmm.
00:08:25Too crazy.
00:08:26Too bad she didn't see anything.
00:08:57What day is it?
00:09:00Hey, David.
00:09:01Anything new?
00:09:02Yes.
00:09:03Ten children were born yesterday.
00:09:04I mean in the station.
00:09:06Oh.
00:09:06Nah, same old garbage.
00:09:08See what I mean?
00:09:13Yeah, that really stinks.
00:09:14So, what about that peeping Tom?
00:09:16What about him?
00:09:20Oh, well.
00:09:21We haven't caught him yet.
00:09:22That's what you're asking.
00:09:23But he really does give me the creeps.
00:09:26He's not spying on you.
00:09:29You're built the wrong way.
00:09:30What do you mean?
00:09:31Well, you see, David.
00:09:32The male anatomy is quite different from the females in many ways.
00:09:36For example, the male erection.
00:09:37I think I got your point.
00:09:39No pun intended.
00:09:41No pun taken.
00:09:42I wasn't trying to be funny.
00:09:44Well, so far you don't have anything to worry about.
00:09:46Good.
00:09:46So, you got any leads?
00:09:48Yeah, no.
00:09:50But if it kills me, I'm gonna catch that peeping Tom.
00:10:00Who do you think can raise your eyebrow higher?
00:10:03Spock.
00:10:08Ah.
00:10:10Mrs. David.
00:10:12Good to see you.
00:10:16You must have tickled.
00:10:18I don't have a mustache.
00:10:21Oh.
00:10:25I came to check on the woman's auxiliary.
00:10:35Come on.
00:10:36Let's go.
00:10:43So, how are things?
00:10:45Fine.
00:10:46Just fine.
00:10:47David, darling.
00:10:48Uh, you haven't told my husband about your little enterprise, have you?
00:10:53Not a thing.
00:10:54Besides, I think if he knew what we were doing here, he would have no problem with it.
00:10:58Because all we are doing is taking crime off the streets and putting it in the police station where it
00:11:03belongs.
00:11:12Well, I just wanted to warn you, because he's up for re-election and you know what that means.
00:11:20Instantaneous, ostentatious morality.
00:11:23Let's go.
00:11:27Mrs. Mayor, we were just getting started.
00:11:30Ah, carry, carry, carry on.
00:11:37All right, ladies, the procedures I am going to be teaching you this afternoon will be very, very important to
00:11:45your marriages.
00:11:46Oh, my God.
00:11:47Today, we'll be discussing oral sex.
00:11:50Now, I've laid out a few items here for us to practice with.
00:11:53Try and find whatever it is that you have at home.
00:12:00Cucumbers.
00:12:01I have cucumbers.
00:12:03Does anybody need a cucumber?
00:12:05Oh, yeah.
00:12:09Oh, yeah.
00:12:10I'm sorry.
00:12:13Carrots.
00:12:17Anybody need a carrot?
00:12:21Hot dogs.
00:12:32Do you have any, um, viener sausages?
00:12:35Oh.
00:12:36I am sorry.
00:12:40Officer Angelotti, you left your new crack shots in the copier.
00:12:43Please pick them up.
00:12:47Thelma?
00:12:48Is the cell ready yet?
00:12:49Yes, sir.
00:12:51Nice to see you again, Dr. Kaplan.
00:12:54Thelma?
00:13:02Yeah.
00:13:04Sandy?
00:13:05Oh, yeah.
00:13:08I'm coming for you, honey.
00:13:09Here we go.
00:13:11Yeah.
00:13:13There you go.
00:13:25Come here, you bad, bad boy.
00:13:30First, I'm going to have to strip-search you.
00:13:35Now, you're the prisoner, I'm the warden,
00:13:39and I'm going to have to put you in the hole.
00:13:57I'm going to have to put you in the hole.
00:14:24And who, should I say, is asking?
00:14:26Martin Riff. I'm the new guy.
00:14:30Oh, the rookie! We've been expecting you.
00:14:34Let me check.
00:14:37Captain Smith, the rookie's here for orientation.
00:14:46Ah, you must be the new rookie.
00:14:48Captain?
00:14:49Good to see you, son.
00:14:52Well, welcome to the Amity Police Force.
00:14:54Thank you.
00:14:55Come on, let me tell you something about our organization.
00:14:57Organization? You know, I was in the drama club in high school.
00:15:00Ah, so you're a four-eyed homo.
00:15:02Come on, one more. One more. Squeeze it out.
00:15:05Ah, that's a girl.
00:15:08Good going, girl.
00:15:19You mean you're running a brothel here?
00:15:21You really are a bozo, aren't you, son?
00:15:23Tit for tat.
00:15:24Mm-hmm.
00:15:25Oh, excuse me.
00:15:27Officers Casey and Lacey, rookie Marty Riff.
00:15:31You mean they're not the hookers?
00:15:33No, you idiot. Hookers have real tits.
00:15:36Officers Casey and Lacey.
00:15:38Ladies?
00:15:39Sir!
00:15:42Come on, butt boy.
00:15:43Bye.
00:15:46Oh, my God.
00:15:48Yeah, they're partners.
00:15:50More ways than one.
00:15:57Oh!
00:16:00Yeah.
00:16:01Hey, Captain!
00:16:02We got a pickup.
00:16:03You want me to take the rookie?
00:16:06Yeah, that's a great idea.
00:16:08Get that four-eyed geek out of here.
00:16:10He's bugging the crap out of me.
00:16:11I appreciate your confidence in me, Captain.
00:16:14Hey, you're doing a great job, son.
00:16:16I'm sure your father would be proud of you
00:16:17if you knew who you were.
00:16:19Oh, I appreciate that.
00:16:23It's for Bambi again.
00:16:25Teddy over on Larchmont,
00:16:26and he used the old password.
00:16:28Okay, I'll give him the new password.
00:16:30What's the password?
00:16:31Shang-a-lang-a-ding-dong.
00:16:33It used to be cock-a-doodle-doo.
00:16:35Then last summer, a rooster called.
00:16:37We thought it was a john.
00:16:39Now we know what chicken ranch means.
00:16:41I'm back.
00:16:44Captain?
00:16:44Take your hands off me, you slimeball.
00:16:48Found her on the corner of First Domain
00:16:49soliciting for sexual favors.
00:16:51Was not.
00:16:52Was too.
00:16:53Was not.
00:16:53Was too.
00:16:54Was not.
00:16:54Was not.
00:16:55Was too.
00:16:55Gotcha.
00:16:56Take this little floozy to the interrogation room.
00:16:58She looks dangerous.
00:17:00Don't try anything smart, Tootsie,
00:17:01or you'll find out what police brutality really means.
00:17:04This way.
00:17:04Let's go.
00:17:08Hey, where the hell's Flipper anyway?
00:17:11Little shit's probably getting another MRI.
00:17:17Well, she looks like the real thing.
00:17:19Yeah.
00:17:20Choice of a new generation.
00:17:22Well, maybe she's the uncola.
00:17:24Quite possibly.
00:17:25Yeah.
00:17:26Well, I'll run her record.
00:17:28You, uh, go in there and keep her calm or be firm with her.
00:17:31I want her to know.
00:17:35We don't take the law lightly.
00:17:36Okay.
00:17:38Let's go.
00:17:40Look, I want to make a phone call.
00:17:43You'll make a phone call when I say you can make a phone call.
00:17:46Well, I ain't saying shit until I talk to my lawyer.
00:17:49Well, fine.
00:17:49I'll get you some silence around here.
00:17:52Oh, hey.
00:17:56Mike, your outfit.
00:17:57Did you get that around here?
00:17:59What's it to you?
00:18:00Oh, Mike, just trying to be nice.
00:18:04They're not going to really try and hold me here, are they?
00:18:08It's a small town, honey.
00:18:09They don't take too kindly to breaking the law.
00:18:12Shut up, you two.
00:18:13This woman here's a criminal,
00:18:14and I'm going to see to it that she's punished.
00:18:19No, no, no.
00:18:20Not that.
00:18:21Please.
00:18:21Please.
00:18:22Anything but that.
00:18:23Wait.
00:18:24Hold it right there, Officer Hamilton.
00:18:26I ran a record.
00:18:27Not bad.
00:18:28Second song's pretty good.
00:18:29What about the third song?
00:18:31Eh, not catchy enough.
00:18:33But we'll let you slide.
00:18:37So, Gary,
00:18:39can you use an extra hand around here?
00:18:40Summer,
00:18:41we can always use an extra hand.
00:18:46Sorry I was rude to you earlier.
00:18:48I just wasn't sure.
00:18:52Doing my job.
00:18:54You, uh,
00:18:56may have been with
00:18:57Internal Affairs.
00:19:00But she thought I was a cop.
00:19:02Well,
00:19:03you can never be too sure.
00:19:05What was it that gave it away?
00:19:07Maybe the outfit?
00:19:09I like your outfit.
00:19:12Yeah, me too.
00:19:15You guys are nuts.
00:19:19If you're not going to charge me with anything,
00:19:20I'm going to get the hell out of here.
00:19:24Let's go.
00:19:25Let's go.
00:19:25You can go, darling.
00:19:27But I think you're making a big mistake.
00:19:29You can work right here doing what you do.
00:19:32But if you don't want to,
00:19:34can I borrow your outfit?
00:19:36See, there's already two of us here.
00:19:38Got room for three?
00:19:40Wait a minute.
00:19:41You guys are hookers?
00:19:43No, but we play them on TV.
00:19:47Bambi and I got started the same way.
00:19:49Got busted.
00:19:51Captain invited us to stay on.
00:19:54Wait, the captain gave you a job?
00:19:56Sure.
00:19:57He said he didn't see any harm
00:19:59and two girls trying to make a living
00:20:00as long as no one gets hurt.
00:20:02And you guys never get smacked,
00:20:03beat up, anything like that?
00:20:04In a police department?
00:20:07No one gets hurt with a police department.
00:20:13Just think.
00:20:14No more pimps.
00:20:15No more cold street corners.
00:20:17No more standing around
00:20:19in these ridiculous high heels
00:20:20that throw your back out.
00:20:23Great.
00:20:24So what do you think?
00:20:25You want to get cleaned up?
00:20:26Sure.
00:20:27I'll show you the locker room.
00:20:28All right.
00:20:30Think I'll clean the locker room?
00:20:32I think not.
00:20:34I think
00:20:35that you're not gonna rest
00:20:37until you get out there
00:20:38and find me that peeping Tom.
00:20:43God damn it.
00:20:45If we don't find him soon,
00:20:47this music is gonna drive me insane.
00:20:51Okay.
00:20:52And a five, six, seven, eight.
00:20:54Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.
00:20:55A twirl like you're leaning
00:20:56and go, you go, girl.
00:20:58Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.
00:21:00Legs, ladies,
00:21:01bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.
00:21:03And a turn and a bun top.
00:21:06It's the mayor!
00:21:07It's the mayor!
00:21:10It's the mayor!
00:21:11Captain Smith!
00:21:13Take five, ladies.
00:21:15Love you.
00:21:16Hate you.
00:21:17Yes?
00:21:17Mayor Davies is here.
00:21:18Oh, my God, Mayor Davies!
00:21:22Gentlemen.
00:21:23Sir, Mayor Davies?
00:21:24It has come to my attention
00:21:25that this police department
00:21:27has not been following
00:21:28the strict moral guidelines expected of it.
00:21:32What do you mean, sir?
00:21:33Amity is a fine community
00:21:34of hardworking families
00:21:36and innocent children
00:21:37living in harmony with each other
00:21:38and the cities around them.
00:21:40They deserve a police department
00:21:42of dedicated, hardworking professionals.
00:21:45A police department
00:21:46serving the needs of the community.
00:21:49Hold it down!
00:21:50I'm not trying to talk!
00:21:54What is it exactly you want, sir?
00:21:57Captain Smith!
00:21:58I'm demanding you step down
00:22:00until a full investigation
00:22:01of you and your department
00:22:03has been completed.
00:22:05But...
00:22:05But...
00:22:06But...
00:22:06Take him away!
00:22:08Take him away!
00:22:08But...
00:22:08What about...
00:22:09What about...
00:22:10What about...
00:22:10What about...
00:22:10What about...
00:22:11It's my only job!
00:22:12I'm not leaving you high, my God.
00:22:14I have brought you
00:22:15exactly what this department needs.
00:22:19Captain May.
00:22:28This is Captain May.
00:22:30She'll be in charge
00:22:31of this department
00:22:32until things get sorted out.
00:22:35Lieutenant Carroll?
00:22:37Show her the ropes.
00:22:39This is Mayor.
00:22:43Short, medium, long.
00:22:46Officer David Carroll.
00:22:48Head of Ice.
00:22:49I'll bet you are.
00:22:51I think there was
00:22:53no need for a change.
00:22:54Oh, I think there was
00:22:54plenty of need for a change.
00:22:56I see.
00:22:56Bring me up to speed.
00:22:57All right.
00:22:58Let's go.
00:22:59Mr. Marks?
00:22:59Get set, go!
00:23:02Officer Howell,
00:23:03line one,
00:23:04Winchell's Donuts again.
00:23:09Hi.
00:23:16Will you stop it already?
00:23:18You noticed him, too.
00:23:21Yeah, but I'm not drooling.
00:23:23I bet he's great in the sack.
00:23:25I bet he's never been in the sack.
00:23:28I think we should find out.
00:23:31Sorry.
00:23:35Nah.
00:23:38Speak of the devil.
00:23:41Oh, I'm sorry.
00:23:43Sorry about what?
00:23:45Well, I mean, I don't want to interrupt.
00:23:47Sit there now.
00:23:54Now.
00:24:04So?
00:24:07Did a cop, Mom?
00:24:09Yeah.
00:24:11No, no, I mean, no.
00:24:13No, no.
00:24:13I just graduated.
00:24:16You're going to like it here.
00:24:18Mm-hmm.
00:24:19Can I have a bite of the apple?
00:24:22Sure.
00:24:27Sure.
00:24:30Sure.
00:24:37Sure.
00:24:48Excuse me.
00:24:54Don't you want something on that?
00:24:58Do you have any butter?
00:25:01Sure.
00:25:09Oh, honey.
00:25:10You have to spread this evenly.
00:25:12Let me help you.
00:25:15Whoops.
00:25:16I think you missed a spot.
00:25:33Amity's a great little town.
00:25:36Nice people.
00:25:37Really nice.
00:25:40It sure seems like it.
00:25:42Can I have one of those?
00:25:45Sure.
00:25:47Would you like half?
00:25:48Thanks.
00:25:55You will see the fabulous lunchroom,
00:25:57and this is where all of our wonderful police officers
00:25:59come and have lunch every day.
00:26:01If you look right now, you'll be able to see them.
00:26:02What is going on here?
00:26:04What is going on here?
00:26:07Uh, uh, uh, uh, Officer Rick here.
00:26:10He was showing.
00:26:12The correct procedure for the Heimlich maneuver.
00:26:16Uh, uh, uh, uh, he, he ate one of these,
00:26:20and, uh, I think he got really hot.
00:26:22Right, Officer Rick?
00:26:23Eh?
00:26:24Ah, well, never mind that right now.
00:26:27Ladies and gentlemen, this is, uh,
00:26:30this is Officer Captain Mary May.
00:26:32She will be heading and investigating the department
00:26:35from here on out.
00:26:37Officers Casey and Lacey,
00:26:39at your service.
00:26:41Carry on.
00:26:43Carry on.
00:27:00Oh, maybe you'd like to see the, uh,
00:27:02Certificate of Appreciation we received last year.
00:27:05The most uneventful town in America.
00:27:09Huh?
00:27:09Huh?
00:27:10Well, that certainly is interesting.
00:27:12Eh?
00:27:12I'd like to see the locker rooms.
00:27:14Uh, okay.
00:27:16Look at that one.
00:27:17See that picture right there?
00:27:21Ah!
00:27:24Officer Carroll, you just gotta let me go.
00:27:27I promise I'll never do it again,
00:27:30and from now on, I'll be a good girl.
00:27:33You're already pretty good.
00:27:34Thanks.
00:27:35Thanks.
00:27:36Thanks.
00:27:37I'm afraid to ask.
00:27:39You should be.
00:27:40I mean, you shouldn't be,
00:27:42because it doesn't really matter.
00:27:43I can explain.
00:27:45I'm waiting.
00:27:46Uh, well, I, uh...
00:27:50Would you believe?
00:27:52Thank you, thank you,
00:27:53and welcome to Would You Believe,
00:27:54the show that tests just how far
00:27:57your imagination will stretch.
00:27:59my pumpkin pie,
00:28:02my little prune danish,
00:28:04my lover.
00:28:07I was supposed to know.
00:28:09Shh.
00:28:10Shh.
00:28:12And right now,
00:28:13for $500,
00:28:15Officer David Carroll,
00:28:16why does this jail cell
00:28:17look like a bordella?
00:28:19Would you believe?
00:28:21Um,
00:28:22because she's here so often
00:28:24that they had to bring
00:28:25all of her own stuff from home.
00:28:26Good answer,
00:28:28but not good enough.
00:28:29Miss Bambi,
00:28:31would you believe?
00:28:32Um,
00:28:33we had the whole thing redone
00:28:35by Madonna's decorator.
00:28:37That's unbelievable.
00:28:39Captain Mary May,
00:28:40for $500,
00:28:41would you believe?
00:28:42It was created by criminal psychologists
00:28:44who wanted to regress criminals
00:28:46to the moment of conception.
00:28:47That's right!
00:28:48We have a winner!
00:28:50Captain Mary May
00:28:51at the Amity Police Department.
00:28:53Step up here
00:28:54and collect your $500.
00:28:56Congratulations.
00:28:57I'll be in my office.
00:28:58Thank you.
00:28:58Thank you very much.
00:28:59$500?
00:29:00That's more than I've made all week.
00:29:04Tune in next week
00:29:05and be prepared
00:29:06to stretch,
00:29:08stretch,
00:29:10stretch
00:29:10further
00:29:11than you've ever
00:29:12stretched before.
00:29:22So,
00:29:24you think you're being cute?
00:29:28You think this is
00:29:29some kind of game?
00:29:31You're answering,
00:29:32huh?
00:29:33Don't listen much,
00:29:35mister?
00:29:36You got a hearing problem?
00:29:38He doesn't speak much.
00:29:42Neither do you.
00:29:48Mr. Bigger.
00:29:51You're supposed to be
00:29:52the older brother.
00:29:53You're supposed to set
00:29:54an example.
00:29:55I don't think
00:29:56he's listening.
00:29:58Can you hear me, mister?
00:30:01He's got hearing problems, too.
00:30:05Let me try some sign language.
00:30:07All right.
00:30:09You
00:30:11can't
00:30:12break
00:30:13into
00:30:14your
00:30:16father's
00:30:17store.
00:30:20It
00:30:20makes
00:30:22you
00:30:23look
00:30:24whoa!
00:30:29He can't
00:30:30seize nothing,
00:30:31neither.
00:30:32So,
00:30:32why are we talking,
00:30:33then?
00:30:33Well,
00:30:34because he's the one
00:30:35that's got all the brains
00:30:36in the family.
00:30:38What the hell?
00:30:40Put this on the map.
00:30:42Count us in the same situation.
00:30:45Okay.
00:30:47Cut her in the row.
00:30:48Oh.
00:30:49Oh.
00:30:50Okay.
00:30:52All righty.
00:30:54Tell you what I'm gonna do.
00:30:56I'm gonna let you go this time.
00:30:59No one's pressing charges.
00:31:01But next time...
00:31:02Clear!
00:31:07We'll never do it again.
00:31:09Better not.
00:31:11And you!
00:31:12Take that stupid look
00:31:13off your face.
00:31:17That's better.
00:31:19Come on!
00:31:20Come on!
00:31:20Get out of here, you two fuckers!
00:31:22Leave those masks!
00:31:23Brooks!
00:31:24Wait a minute!
00:31:26Someone help me!
00:31:28Oh, what can we do for you?
00:31:29I was taking a shower.
00:31:31I just live around the corner.
00:31:32And there was this man.
00:31:34I saw him in my bushes.
00:31:36Huh?
00:31:37Uh-huh.
00:31:37Watching me.
00:31:39So, he was...
00:31:41washing your bush?
00:31:43No, he was busting my watch.
00:31:45Uh-huh.
00:31:45I mean, watching my bust.
00:31:47I mean, watching me wash!
00:31:49Oh.
00:31:51I've never been so scared
00:31:52in my whole life.
00:31:56So, this man, uh...
00:31:59Do you look like this?
00:32:00That's him.
00:32:02Exactly.
00:32:06Well, sounds like the peeping Tom.
00:32:12We know somebody's been watching,
00:32:14and we've been watching him watch,
00:32:15but we don't know who he is.
00:32:16Even with that sketch?
00:32:18I know.
00:32:19It's hard to believe.
00:32:22Can I wash your walk?
00:32:23I mean, can I, uh, walk your bush?
00:32:25I mean, uh, can I, uh...
00:32:27Can I walk your home?
00:32:28All right.
00:32:29Thank you.
00:32:29I don't know who he is.
00:32:30Ooh.
00:32:32So, the mayor gone yet?
00:32:34Yeah.
00:32:35And the shit has really hit the fan.
00:32:39Wait a minute.
00:32:40We don't steal other people's jokes around here.
00:32:43We only borrow them.
00:32:45Good thing.
00:32:46Yes.
00:32:46Oh, my God.
00:32:47I left Billy in the cell.
00:32:49So, what's going on?
00:32:49Oh, well, let me tell you.
00:32:51I didn't tell you before.
00:32:51Okay, what happened was,
00:32:52Captain Smith came into the picture, you know,
00:32:53and he was the captain.
00:32:54He was great because we ran a prostitution ring through here,
00:32:56you know, but everybody got paid a lot of money.
00:32:58They got their nails painted,
00:32:59their toes painted every single day
00:33:00because they could afford it.
00:33:00Sorry, I hate it.
00:33:01We brought all kinds of except a prostitution ring,
00:33:02and he's trying to get rid of the prostitution ring.
00:33:04Well, what are we supposed to do?
00:33:05I mean, nobody's making money anymore.
00:33:06Everybody needs to be rich.
00:33:07They need to get new clothes daily.
00:33:09They need to feed themselves.
00:33:10Then Captain Mary May comes in and she says,
00:33:11all I'm not saying.
00:33:16This is a fine way to run a business.
00:33:18Locking us up in separate sales.
00:33:21I feel like I'm about ready to bust.
00:33:25Billy.
00:33:26David.
00:33:26Sorry, man.
00:33:27Didn't mean to leave you hanging.
00:33:29We've had a little problem.
00:33:30Look, we have a little problem here.
00:33:32I've heard that before.
00:33:34So why?
00:33:35Me too.
00:33:36Huh.
00:33:37Well, anyway,
00:33:39I guess we should probably leave you be for now.
00:33:42Yeah, let's go.
00:33:42We'll come back.
00:33:43No, wait.
00:33:44David, you can't leave me like this, man.
00:33:46I feel like a prisoner.
00:33:48What would make you feel that way?
00:33:51I got it.
00:33:53We'll be back.
00:33:53Let's go.
00:33:57Oh, my God.
00:33:59So funny.
00:34:00She's trying to bust.
00:34:00She had something up her butt and it died.
00:34:03And she doesn't understand because it's a whole control thing.
00:34:05You know?
00:34:05She doesn't even want to know what's going on because she walks around the whole place.
00:34:08She just came in here a little while ago.
00:34:10She has something to do with anything.
00:34:11And she's, you know, never relaxed.
00:34:14Hey, where's Bambi?
00:34:15Angela, here you go.
00:34:16My God.
00:34:18She's still with Billy.
00:34:19Captain May's coming.
00:34:20Captain May's coming.
00:34:22Oh, mate alert.
00:34:23Oh, mate alert.
00:34:25I think I was going to know where I put that ship in a flagpole.
00:34:28Well, I'm sure it's all very interesting.
00:34:30But I really do have to get unpacked.
00:34:32All right.
00:34:32Maybe later then.
00:34:33I've still got some paperwork to do.
00:34:35Any messages?
00:34:36Yes, your mother called.
00:34:37My mother called?
00:34:38Well, yes, there's been a horrible accident and your father's been killed.
00:34:41What do you mean?
00:34:42Well, apparently there was a freak accident and his lawnmower killed him.
00:34:45She said it went haywire and turned your father into fertilizer.
00:34:49Wait, good news.
00:34:50Your lawn looks better than ever.
00:34:52It's colorful.
00:34:53They're full of life.
00:34:54Fourth time this week.
00:34:56Who are you?
00:34:58Officer Lisa Hancock.
00:35:00I'm the night receptionist.
00:35:01I thought the lieutenant picked up the phone at night.
00:35:03Well, that's because you didn't have me.
00:35:05Okay.
00:35:06Okay.
00:35:07Do you have me whiteout?
00:35:26Is this an emergency?
00:35:28It sure feels like one.
00:35:30Shang-a-lang-a-ding-dong.
00:35:32Reference.
00:35:33I think the blonde one.
00:35:35I'm tired of me.
00:35:36An officer will be right over.
00:35:40Go wake up Clifford and get Hamilton to run interference.
00:35:43All right.
00:35:51No, I'm here as a public servant.
00:35:53I'll help anybody.
00:35:54No problem at all.
00:35:56Why would I care that it's the Pope?
00:35:58He's got sexual problems just like everybody else.
00:36:01I assure you.
00:36:03What do you mean, anti-Semitic?
00:36:10Hamilton.
00:36:11Yes.
00:36:12I've got a client in route.
00:36:14And I need you to pick up a graffiti artist.
00:36:18Take care of the captain for me, will you?
00:36:20Oh, that woman's about as much fun as an enema.
00:36:22All right.
00:36:23Then I'll take care of her.
00:36:25Thanks.
00:36:29And by the way, don't forget, Bambi's in the cell.
00:36:34You gotta get her out.
00:36:35Remember last time?
00:36:36She thought she was the lion for an hour.
00:36:38Remember?
00:36:39I had to do the end production number for The Wizard of Oz 50 times.
00:36:42How could I forget?
00:36:43That was pretty, uh, pretty miserable, wasn't it?
00:36:47Yeah, it was.
00:36:48You were off key.
00:36:49Very.
00:36:49Very flat.
00:36:50It's a bad day.
00:36:52Bad hair day, too.
00:36:55Damn.
00:36:57But I'm on a diet.
00:36:58You're 100 pounds overweight.
00:36:59A police officer should be...
00:37:00Hey, has anybody seen...
00:37:01Oh, hi.
00:37:02Uh, Captain, I am going out on a caller.
00:37:04It's very high profile.
00:37:06I thought you might like to ride shotgun.
00:37:08You think it'll be dangerous?
00:37:09It very well could be.
00:37:10Let's go.
00:37:11All right.
00:37:17Marty!
00:37:22See Carrie?
00:37:23No.
00:37:25All right.
00:37:26Well, if you see her before I do, let her know we need her in the interrogation room.
00:37:29We're not using the, uh, cells in that day anymore.
00:37:33Okay.
00:37:33Okay.
00:37:34Thanks.
00:37:34Hey, Cliff.
00:37:35Yes, sir?
00:37:36Um, you ever, um, have two girls come on to you at the same time?
00:37:42Only my dreams.
00:37:43What's up?
00:37:44Well, I, I don't know how to decide.
00:37:47What's to decide?
00:37:48Well, I've, I've never, you know, I've never been in a situation before.
00:37:54Well, Marty, there's worse situations to be in, all right?
00:37:56Trust me.
00:37:57I'll tell you what.
00:37:58If you get two chicks in the sack, all right, I'll turn in my badge.
00:38:02And it would almost be worth it.
00:38:04Shut up.
00:38:05All right.
00:38:06So if you see Carrie, you tell her that?
00:38:07I will.
00:38:08Thank you.
00:38:09Thank you.
00:38:14What do you got?
00:38:16Counterfeiter.
00:38:17Caught him red-handed.
00:38:19Good work.
00:38:20So what are you doing?
00:38:21We've got Carrie in the interrogation room.
00:38:23They're doing it, doggy.
00:38:24You're here, my little doggy.
00:38:31Heel.
00:38:33Heel.
00:38:37Ankles.
00:38:39Ankles.
00:38:42That's it.
00:38:43Lick my latex.
00:38:45Good dog.
00:38:47That was bullshit.
00:38:49An eight-year-old?
00:38:50What kind of crime we have in this city?
00:38:52Oh, mail alert!
00:38:53Oh, mail alert!
00:38:56Oh, mail alert!
00:38:57Oh, no!
00:38:57Come on, guys, get up!
00:38:59Get up!
00:39:00Get up!
00:39:01Put your clothes on!
00:39:02Come on!
00:39:03Oh, mail alert!
00:39:04Get to put your clothes on!
00:39:06Hustle!
00:39:06Oh, mail alert!
00:39:07Oh, mail alert!
00:39:09Out, dog boy, out!
00:39:10Wow, those things are huge.
00:39:11Oh, God, I've got to find something to put on.
00:39:13All clear.
00:39:14What's that supposed to mean?
00:39:16Oh.
00:39:16What?
00:39:17Uh.
00:39:18Would you believe...
00:39:20Thank you, thank you, thank you, and welcome to Would You Believe, the show that tests you...
00:39:25Wait, just...
00:39:25No, no, no, no.
00:39:26What?
00:39:26This is just over the top.
00:39:28Really?
00:39:29Yes.
00:39:30Well, if you want to be that way or not, but...
00:39:32Here.
00:39:33Mm.
00:39:36So, what really happened?
00:39:38Uh, well, I was interrogating this man, and he, uh, uh...
00:39:42Threw up.
00:39:43He threw up.
00:39:44Threw all the stuff.
00:39:45And I was just letting them know that it was all clear, meaning that it was all clean.
00:39:49Clean.
00:39:49Clear.
00:39:50Uh-huh.
00:39:50And clear and clean.
00:39:51Yeah.
00:39:51As a whistle.
00:39:52Where are your cleaning supplies?
00:39:54Whistling.
00:39:54Uh, uh, all I need is my trusty rag.
00:39:58Eh, trusty rag.
00:39:59Dependable.
00:39:59You can trust it.
00:40:00Oh, we never lie to you.
00:40:01Ever.
00:40:02What have we got here?
00:40:04Um, oh, I caught him trying to pass, uh, counterfeit, uh, $100 bills.
00:40:10Good work.
00:40:11But the guy must be colorblind.
00:40:13What makes you think that?
00:40:15Because $100 bills aren't red.
00:40:18Stupid.
00:40:21Are you sure on that?
00:40:23Well, yeah, you take a couple, and I'll take a couple.
00:40:26Does anybody want one?
00:40:27I'll take one.
00:40:29Have a nice day.
00:40:30Merry Christmas.
00:40:31Twinkie?
00:40:31I'll take you.
00:40:31Sure, thanks.
00:40:33Give me another one.
00:40:34Thanks.
00:40:43Ah, what a day.
00:40:45Yeah.
00:40:46Seven jaywalkers, two double parkers on the litter bike.
00:40:49God.
00:40:50Sometimes you really got to earn your paycheck around here.
00:40:57Leaving?
00:40:58I'm taking the books home with me.
00:41:00Think anything will happen tonight?
00:41:02Oh, no.
00:41:04No.
00:41:04Nights around here are slower than the days.
00:41:08I'm only a phone call away.
00:41:11All right.
00:41:12Good night.
00:41:12Good night.
00:41:14One, 1,000.
00:41:16Two, 1,000.
00:41:17Three, 1,000.
00:41:19Let's party!
00:41:20Woo!
00:41:22Woo!
00:41:28Woo!
00:41:31Woo!
00:41:34Woo!
00:41:36Woo!
00:41:37Woo!
00:41:39Woo!
00:41:39Woo!
00:41:40Woo!
00:41:40Woo!
00:41:40Woo!
00:41:41Woo!
00:41:42Woo!
00:41:44Woo!
00:41:45Das war's für heute.
00:42:22Good morning, everyone.
00:42:24Good morning, Captain.
00:42:25Good morning, Captain.
00:42:27Clifford, did you take roll call?
00:42:29All here.
00:42:30Good.
00:42:32Last night I went over the books, and I was very surprised.
00:42:36I've never seen a police department in such great financial shape.
00:42:41Oh, very nice.
00:42:42Good.
00:42:43Money.
00:42:43I like that.
00:42:45This building has been paid off, and I see you put a down payment on a new building for the
00:42:49police station.
00:42:50Your community has bought you new walkie-talkies, new uniforms, new weights, and a cappuccino machine.
00:42:58Here we go.
00:42:58Yeah.
00:42:59It makes me proud.
00:43:02I...
00:43:02They just give and give.
00:43:04However, I have noticed some unorthodox procedures around here.
00:43:10So you best watch your P's and Q's.
00:43:12We're going by the books.
00:43:15We're going by the books.
00:43:15All right.
00:43:16Have fun.
00:43:26Atties.
00:43:29Understood.
00:43:31Understood.
00:43:33Understood.
00:43:33Understood.
00:43:33Understood.
00:43:34Yep.
00:43:37Now, I have a little surprise for you.
00:43:40Since there's such an excess of cash in the slush fund,
00:43:44I'm going to be sprucing up the place.
00:43:46You know, putting in some green plants.
00:43:49Maybe a painting or two.
00:43:52Any hemp?
00:43:53Anything else?
00:43:55Yes, we have a...
00:43:57We have a new drawing of the suspect, Peeping Tom.
00:44:00It passes around, everybody. Get a good look at it.
00:44:03Ooh, yeah.
00:44:04Yeah.
00:44:05Ooh.
00:44:07Nice.
00:44:09All right.
00:44:10Yeah.
00:44:11Oh, I don't like this girl.
00:44:15Hey, that looks like my ex-boyfriend.
00:44:17Let me see that again.
00:44:20I bet you I could find this guy in two hours.
00:44:22I could find him in one hour.
00:44:23Okay.
00:44:24Find that guy.
00:44:25Get out there and be safe.
00:44:26Sounds like my mother.
00:44:28Shhh.
00:44:30You know, I can find him for five years.
00:44:38Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know anybody was here.
00:44:41What are you sorry about?
00:44:44I...
00:44:46Um...
00:44:47I...
00:44:48Um...
00:44:50I...
00:44:51Um...
00:44:52I...
00:44:54Um...
00:44:54Could you come stand here for a second?
00:44:59Well...
00:45:00Sure.
00:45:08No.
00:45:09Stand here.
00:45:11There?
00:45:13All right.
00:45:18Now you try to push my legs out, and I'll try to push him back in.
00:45:23Okay.
00:45:24Hey.
00:45:26Hey.
00:45:28Hey.
00:45:29Hey.
00:45:29Hey.
00:45:30Hey.
00:45:31You know, all my life I've never even had a beautiful woman look at me.
00:45:35I mean, much less come on to me.
00:45:37Hey.
00:45:38Hey.
00:45:39Hey.
00:45:39And...
00:45:39And out of the blue today, it's happened twice.
00:45:42Twice?
00:45:43What's going on here?
00:45:45Hey.
00:45:45Hey.
00:45:46Uh...
00:45:47I was just exercising my thighs.
00:45:53Bitch.
00:46:06Where's that janitor?
00:46:08My blinds haven't been dusted this decade.
00:46:10Orcs are mostly knights.
00:46:12Fine.
00:46:12I'll leave her a note.
00:46:17La!
00:46:20La!
00:46:21Tell me when the mayor's wife comes in.
00:46:22She's taking me to lunch.
00:46:23She's already here.
00:46:25She is?
00:46:26She's downstairs with the women's auxiliary.
00:46:29Oh.
00:46:30Good.
00:46:31I think I'll go join her.
00:46:39Now hold it in your hand, firmly but gently,
00:46:42then up and down, up and down.
00:46:46Oh!
00:46:46Oh, being alert!
00:46:47Oh, being alert!
00:46:48Okay.
00:46:48Put him away till later.
00:46:49And...
00:46:50Knowing the correct way to use a condom could mean the difference between life and death.
00:46:56Hello.
00:46:57Hello.
00:46:59You must be Captain Mary May.
00:47:02Ladies.
00:47:03Yeah.
00:47:04Captain Mary May.
00:47:06Our new...
00:47:07Captain of what?
00:47:08Captain!
00:47:10Bravo!
00:47:14Aren't you the janitor?
00:47:15Janitor.
00:47:16Oh.
00:47:16Janitor and also sex educator.
00:47:20Clean is as clean does.
00:47:22Clean this.
00:47:29Hey, what are you doing here?
00:47:31Eh.
00:47:31Couldn't sleep.
00:47:33I was up all night trying to catch that damn peeping top.
00:47:42Hey!
00:47:43Hamilton!
00:47:44What do you got there?
00:47:45Yeah.
00:47:45What do you got over here?
00:47:46Loiterers.
00:47:47I got a complaint from cutting hips.
00:47:49I'm so impressed with the role that this police department plays in the community.
00:47:52Oh, yes.
00:47:53Our officers really give their pass.
00:47:55Mister, you got a name?
00:47:58The process.
00:47:59The process.
00:48:00The process.
00:48:00Don't give me any of your lip.
00:48:02Huh?
00:48:02All right.
00:48:03Listen up.
00:48:04I want you to take his cuffs off him, but watch him.
00:48:07He looks like a creep.
00:48:10Get some fingerprints.
00:48:12Dude, that was really good the way you handled him.
00:48:15It was strong.
00:48:16Well, you know, I was trying to be...
00:48:17I didn't want to be over the top.
00:48:18No, that was good because some people...
00:48:22He's got a dog!
00:48:28That's enough screaming!
00:48:32Now!
00:48:33You!
00:48:34What'd you have to go do and get my gun?
00:48:36We were just gonna give you a hot meal.
00:48:38We weren't gonna do anything.
00:48:39All right.
00:48:40Oh, my goodness.
00:48:41Okay.
00:48:41All right.
00:48:42Mister!
00:48:43Listen to me.
00:48:45There's nothing to worry about.
00:48:47It's okay.
00:48:48I know you're scared.
00:48:49Hey!
00:48:50Watch me.
00:48:51I'm the guy to talk to.
00:48:53I'm not touching my gun.
00:48:55You see me?
00:48:55My hand is not on my gun.
00:48:58No.
00:48:59No.
00:49:00No.
00:49:01No.
00:49:02Stay focused.
00:49:04It's gonna be okay.
00:49:05You can do this.
00:49:07We're all friends here.
00:49:09We're all friends.
00:49:10Drop the gun.
00:49:12Come on.
00:49:12Give me the gun.
00:49:13You can do it.
00:49:14Give me the gun.
00:49:16Look!
00:49:16A UFO!
00:49:17A UFO!
00:49:18A UFO!
00:49:18A UFO!
00:49:19A UFO!
00:49:19A UFO!
00:49:19A UFO!
00:49:20A UFO!
00:49:26A UFO!
00:49:26Oh!
00:49:30Thank you.
00:49:33Thank you.
00:49:33Thank you.
00:49:34Thank you.
00:49:34There's nothing to see here.
00:49:37Where?
00:49:38Where?
00:49:38Yeah.
00:49:39All right, mister.
00:49:41We have a place for people like you.
00:49:44It's called a big grey cell.
00:49:48Take them away!
00:49:50I'm sorry.
00:49:50It's all right.
00:49:52Get over here!
00:49:58Thank you.
00:50:00Good work, Officer Carroll.
00:50:02Thank you very much. Just doing my job.
00:50:04I'm impressed.
00:50:05Thank you.
00:50:06Our hero!
00:50:10No need to thank me.
00:50:12No need to thank me.
00:50:16Well, why don't you take the mayor's wife out for a little lunch?
00:50:19Come on, you deserve it.
00:50:20Come on, get out of here.
00:50:22You guys have done a great job.
00:50:24Thanks for watching.
00:50:25You can sleep safe in Amity.
00:50:28Love those guys.
00:50:34What a nice group of women.
00:50:36That small town morality.
00:50:38You just can't find that these days.
00:50:41Back so soon?
00:50:43Are you ever off duty?
00:50:45As a matter of fact, I am.
00:50:47But not right now.
00:50:50I had three more complaints about that peeping Tom last night.
00:50:59Yes.
00:51:00But good news.
00:51:01Got a little further on that sketch.
00:51:04Take a look.
00:51:06Oh, wow.
00:51:08See?
00:51:08Big differences now, huh?
00:51:09A lot easier to find.
00:51:11Well, that'll certainly help.
00:51:13Yep.
00:51:13I know.
00:51:14Never knew I had such a flair for art.
00:51:20Captain!
00:51:21Shh.
00:51:22Oh.
00:51:23Captain, what are you doing here?
00:51:25Captain.
00:51:37Clouds.
00:51:37What are you doing here?
00:51:38What's with the donut outfit?
00:51:40Camouflage.
00:51:42I'm a new player.
00:51:43I'm a new player.
00:51:44I came here to warn you about that Mary May.
00:51:46She's the best they've got.
00:51:49INS.
00:51:50Immigration?
00:51:51I mean, uh, IBM.
00:51:53Computers?
00:51:54I mean, IFS.
00:51:58Banking?
00:51:59You know, internal affairs.
00:52:01Oh, right.
00:52:02Listen.
00:52:02Tell me that you've closed down the whole operation and put away the contraband.
00:52:05Well, I would love to tell you that, but that's a lie.
00:52:08She's not that hot.
00:52:09Not at all.
00:52:10No, we've got it covered.
00:52:10We have a plan.
00:52:11She can't even go to the bathroom without everyone knowing exactly where she is.
00:52:15That's right.
00:52:16The people?
00:52:17No.
00:52:19Hold me to the lunchroom!
00:52:21Hold me to the lunchroom!
00:52:23Pretty nifty, huh?
00:52:26Quick!
00:52:26Hide!
00:52:27Hide!
00:52:31Gentlemen?
00:52:32We were just leaving.
00:52:33Leave me!
00:52:34No!
00:52:34I was just looking for the two of you.
00:52:37I think...
00:52:37Here we are.
00:52:38Right here.
00:52:39I think they've made a terrible mistake about this department.
00:52:43There's nothing fishy going on here.
00:52:45Nothing at all.
00:52:46No.
00:52:46Not at all.
00:52:47By the book.
00:52:48That's our motto.
00:52:49That's all right.
00:52:50It's fine.
00:52:52Wonderful.
00:52:53We were just trying to be good cops.
00:52:55The best.
00:52:56You are both fine police officers.
00:52:59Thank you so much.
00:53:00Exemplary.
00:53:01Thanks.
00:53:02That's fine.
00:53:02Yeah.
00:53:03You gotta just stop.
00:53:05In fact, I wanna do something special for you.
00:53:10I don't know what yet.
00:53:14I just want you to know, I'm planning something.
00:53:19Great.
00:53:20Wonderful.
00:53:20Thank you so much.
00:53:21You're a real sweet heart, real pal.
00:53:23Hamilton.
00:53:24Get back to work.
00:53:26David.
00:53:27Go home.
00:53:28Get some sleep.
00:53:29Get some Z's.
00:53:31That's an order.
00:53:32Night.
00:53:32Right away.
00:53:34That was close.
00:53:36I'm telling her she knows something.
00:53:37She can't.
00:53:38It's not possible.
00:53:40Listen, you gotta close down the operation.
00:53:42Well, we can't do that.
00:53:44We're less than a week away from the squad car.
00:53:46Who'd let the girls down terribly.
00:53:48It's too dangerous.
00:53:49Yeah.
00:53:50Well, I think she's an M&M.
00:53:52Huh?
00:53:53You know.
00:53:53Hard on the outside.
00:53:55Soft and squishy on the inside.
00:53:58You're playing with fire.
00:54:01No, I'm not.
00:54:03Besides, think of it this way.
00:54:05I don't think this has anything to do with the investigation on the department.
00:54:09I think it has to do with that little affair you had with Mrs. Davies.
00:54:14Oh.
00:54:15You think it's personal?
00:54:17It would sure explain things.
00:54:25I was gonna work out before my shower.
00:54:28Would you like to join me?
00:54:30Well, you know, I...
00:54:30I think you should work out with me.
00:54:32We can work on my pecs.
00:54:34Um...
00:54:35Well, you know, I just thought I was gonna take a nap.
00:54:36I'm kinda tired.
00:54:38Is that an invitation?
00:54:40Well, you know, I'm...
00:54:41What the hell do you think you're doing?
00:54:45Why don't you go home and take a cold shower?
00:54:47It's easy to see which one of us he prefers.
00:54:50You know, tell the truth, I'm not...
00:54:51You know, you...
00:54:53You better get out of here before I knock your lights out.
00:54:57No, ladies, please.
00:54:58I'll not see you try.
00:54:59Ladies, ladies, please, I...
00:55:04Come on!
00:55:05No, no!
00:55:06No, no, no!
00:55:08Catch me there!
00:55:09Catch me there!
00:55:10You guys are best friends.
00:55:12Let's not forget that, okay?
00:55:13Not anymore!
00:55:14I did not...
00:55:15Bitch!
00:55:16You slut!
00:55:19Hey!
00:55:19Hey!
00:55:20Hey!
00:55:20Hey!
00:55:20Hey!
00:55:20Hey!
00:55:20What are you doing with your hands?
00:55:23What does it matter?
00:55:25There's no place where hands haven't been put!
00:55:27Okay, hey!
00:55:28Hey!
00:55:30Hey!
00:55:31Hey!
00:55:31Hey!
00:55:31Hey!
00:55:33Hey!
00:55:34Hey!
00:55:35Hey!
00:55:35You guys wanna fight, you do it in the ring!
00:55:38Let's go.
00:55:39I will see you tomorrow.
00:55:41You'll be eating out of a straw.
00:55:43We'll see about that!
00:55:45I'm...
00:55:46You know...
00:55:47This has never happened to me.
00:55:48This is your fault, man.
00:55:49No, I did nothing.
00:55:50You're dust.
00:55:51What kind of F2 do you use?
00:55:53Brut.
00:55:54I gotta get some.
00:55:55By Fabergé?
00:55:56Yeah.
00:56:00Ladies and gentlemen, welcome on, welcome on, to the greatest fight you've ever seen.
00:56:10We have three rounds of championship boxing.
00:56:15Now, weighing in at 120 pounds, the former Miss America runner-up, the end of it, the champ, Miss Casey
00:56:30Williams.
00:56:3310, 110.
00:56:37You're gonna be great, you're gonna be great.
00:56:41And in the other corner, which would be over here, the very talented and lovely lady, who is also happy
00:56:50to be Miss America, third runner-up.
00:56:53Ladies and gentlemen, weighing in at...
00:56:5812.
00:56:59Ah, I see.
00:57:01Weighing in at 112 pounds, former Miss America runner-up.
00:57:09Second runner-up, Miss Lacey Andrews.
00:57:14You're fucking dead.
00:57:16You're fucking dead.
00:57:17All right, all right.
00:57:18All right, everybody, back to your corner.
00:57:21Back to your corner.
00:57:22All right.
00:57:23What is that design can't work enough?
00:57:26All right, let's come in, ladies, let's come in.
00:57:28Need a roll, my buddy.
00:57:29Need a roll.
00:57:30Thank you.
00:57:31All right.
00:57:32Now, I want a good clean fight here, kids.
00:57:38I don't want to see any raw punches to the head, like that.
00:57:43Or any jabs to the side, like that.
00:57:46All right.
00:57:47Now, let's have it fun, kids.
00:57:50Let's have a good clean fight here.
00:57:53Dang meat.
00:57:55Go for it.
00:57:57Great, great, great.
00:57:59Let's start the fight.
00:58:06Look at that.
00:58:08Oh, good.
00:58:09All right, I'm happy.
00:58:38Let's break it, let's break it.
00:58:39Wait, one, two, three.
00:58:44All right, okay, back to your age, back to your age.
00:58:47Uh, I can't see nothing out of my eye.
00:58:51You're going to have to cut me, Lisa.
00:58:53You look back, kid.
00:58:54I think we should stop the fight.
00:58:55No, cut the goddamn eye.
00:58:58But watch the eyebrow.
00:58:59I just watched it.
00:59:00No, no, it's not working.
00:59:02Cut the eye.
00:59:08All right.
00:59:09Okay, go back.
00:59:10Come on, now, now, now.
00:59:12Oh, now we're scared.
00:59:13Scared.
00:59:14Stop it.
00:59:15All right, come on.
00:59:17All right, go back.
00:59:24All right, go back.
00:59:26All right, come on.
00:59:27Come on.
00:59:52Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:59:57Oh, oh, oh, oh.
01:00:25Okay, good fight, good fight.
01:00:28And the winner, by a knockout, Casey Boyer.
01:00:36Marty!
01:00:40Marty!
01:00:42Marty!
01:00:47Hey!
01:00:50You guys yourselves again?
01:00:52Yeah.
01:00:53Oh, I know.
01:00:54Cute.
01:00:57Have you seen Marty?
01:00:58We kind of want to apologize for all we put him through in the last few days.
01:01:02Yeah, I understand.
01:01:04You guys have been big troublemakers.
01:01:06I'm sorry.
01:01:07Oh, don't sorry to me.
01:01:09I don't care.
01:01:10I'm not the one who was standing there watching you guys fight it out.
01:01:14Anyway, I'll let him know you're looking for him.
01:01:16Oh, no need.
01:01:18We have a surprise for him.
01:01:20Oh, really?
01:01:21Oh, wait.
01:01:22In that case, third cell on the left.
01:01:25Okay, thank you.
01:01:26All right.
01:01:27Shh.
01:01:28Be very quiet.
01:01:35Hey, what are you guys doing?
01:01:36Move away!
01:01:37Come on!
01:01:38Come on, come on!
01:01:39Parking here!
01:01:43Good morning, all.
01:01:44Good morning!
01:01:47As I told you originally, I was brought in here to turn this department around.
01:01:52And as I told you more recently, I didn't think there was a need to.
01:01:56Yeah!
01:01:56the reason there is no need to is because this entire department is about to be dissolved
01:02:09and each and every one of you is going to be dismissed
01:02:18what are you talking about we didn't do anything wrong
01:02:21I think turning a police station into a house of ill repute is despicable.
01:02:28Ill puke what?
01:02:31Ill repute. Ill repute.
01:02:33Ill repute? Captain, what are you talking about?
01:02:35I didn't want to believe it.
01:02:37I wanted to believe that you were good cops.
01:02:41That you care about your community.
01:02:43We care.
01:02:44We care.
01:02:46We care.
01:02:46I care.
01:02:49This tape has a prostitute playing bucking bronco with a jawn in this police station's investigation room.
01:03:05I can't believe it. She hid the goddamn cameras in the plants.
01:03:08This one has a prominent businessman making a sizable donation to this department after an hour in a cell screaming,
01:03:18Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
01:03:27And this one has three police officers, two female and one male, in one of our holding cells having intimate
01:03:39knowledge of each other.
01:03:41Would I get a copy of that?
01:03:47And I know you are behind all this sin and decadence, that you are the kingpin of this operation.
01:03:53And I will see that you are treated accordingly.
01:03:58Now, go clear out your desk and lockers.
01:04:01The mayor will be here soon to serve you your papers.
01:04:04I think I can keep my gun.
01:04:07Hold on a second.
01:04:10I have something I want to say to all of you.
01:04:13As far as I'm concerned, you're all great cops.
01:04:17Thank you.
01:04:18Regardless of what the department has to say.
01:04:22And I just want to tell you, I've been doing this for many, many years.
01:04:27Every time I try to get out, they suck me right back in.
01:04:34All right, get out of here.
01:04:52I bet you really enjoyed that, didn't you?
01:04:54You're doing my job.
01:04:55You mean me, yeah.
01:04:57Well, I got news for you.
01:04:58We didn't do anything wrong and you know it.
01:05:01You broke the law.
01:05:02Oh, broke the law.
01:05:03Yeah, great.
01:05:04Come on.
01:05:04Man, prostitution is the oldest profession on this planet.
01:05:10Besides the fact that it's a victimless crime.
01:05:12But it's still a crime in this city.
01:05:16Yeah, it is.
01:05:17But I want you to think about something for a minute.
01:05:20The fact that we are helping these ladies.
01:05:24They are hookers, yes, granted.
01:05:25However, they're going to be hookers either way you look at it.
01:05:29So, we help them out.
01:05:31We give them a head start.
01:05:32We get them off the streets and doing something that they never thought they could do.
01:05:36Carrie is going back to school to become a lawyer.
01:05:39Bambi, she's going to become a crossing guard.
01:05:42I mean, they're doing things with their lives for a change.
01:05:44But it's still against the law.
01:05:47Okay, I'll give you that.
01:05:48It's against the law.
01:05:49But we all break the law.
01:05:51I mean, come on.
01:05:52You know, we speed.
01:05:53We cut those little tags off our pillows that we're not supposed to.
01:05:57I still have the tags on my pillows.
01:05:59You would.
01:06:01You know what it is.
01:06:02What's this?
01:06:03You need something that you haven't had in a really, really long time.
01:06:10You see, the truth of the matter is,
01:06:12what you need is something that is not only physical,
01:06:19but is emotional.
01:06:22You need to learn how to feel.
01:06:35You know, they really do know how to hurt a guy.
01:06:43But I'm a cop.
01:06:46I'm always a cop first.
01:06:50Well, so am I.
01:06:52So much so,
01:06:55that I don't go anywhere
01:06:58without my badge.
01:07:05You think you're so hot
01:07:08that you're the only one devoted to your job?
01:07:12Well,
01:07:13you are not the only one.
01:07:17My God!
01:07:19My God!
01:07:45My God!
01:07:56Untertitelung des ZDF für funk, 2017
01:08:18Save it for the podium, you lost our vote
01:08:21Yeah
01:08:23Prisoners are not allowed to vote
01:08:28Captain May
01:08:29I can explain
01:08:32The news team will be here any minute
01:08:35To put all of this, this whole thing on the 6 o'clock news
01:08:39And you, head of ice, clean out your desk
01:08:45You know, Mayor, I think we can work this out
01:08:48These men and women have learned the error of their ways
01:08:52And I think we should give them another chance
01:08:54Oh, really?
01:08:55Well, that's not what you were saying when we were viewing the tanks
01:08:57Well, see, things have changed
01:08:59Officer Carroll has presented a very hard argument
01:09:02And I really think that you should hear
01:09:04God almighty, it's like an epidemic around here
01:09:07You take those off
01:09:11I mean, well
01:09:15Change, change
01:09:19I have changed
01:09:21I don't see how
01:09:24You guys stop leering at my wife
01:09:27I will sue you all
01:09:30You leches
01:09:31I didn't know about the cameras or I would have told you
01:09:34I feel awful
01:09:36Yeah, me too
01:09:39You know
01:09:41It's not even the fact that I got fired that I'm upset about
01:09:46It's not even the fact that we have to go
01:09:48Take this entire department in front of a jury
01:09:51And talk about all our dirty laundry
01:09:53That's not even what it is
01:09:54You know what it is?
01:09:55What?
01:09:55The fact that we're never going to catch that peeping dog
01:10:02We were so close
01:10:04We were this close, you know
01:10:05It just drives me crazy
01:10:09I feel like
01:10:11There's just one more thing
01:10:13Just one more thing
01:10:16Wait a minute
01:10:17Wait a minute
01:10:21Hmm
01:10:29Good God
01:10:31Great Scots
01:10:33By George
01:10:35Look
01:10:58Keep packing
01:10:58I want you out of here in an hour
01:11:05What?
01:11:05What?
01:11:06What?
01:11:06What?
01:11:07Well, Mr. Mayor, sir
01:11:09Hi
01:11:10Pervert
01:11:11What?
01:11:11What?
01:11:12Pervert
01:11:13You sleep at night
01:11:15What?
01:11:16What?
01:11:17Howdy, naughty
01:11:18Same team
01:11:20Well, Mr. Mayor
01:11:27Look familiar?
01:11:29Yeah
01:11:29I bet it does
01:11:31Because this is a face that you see
01:11:33Every morning when you look in the mirror
01:11:35There must be some mistake
01:11:36Oh, yeah
01:11:37You know what the mistake is
01:11:38You
01:11:41Maybe we could work something out
01:11:43Oh, yeah
01:11:45I've got a bone to pick with you
01:11:47Nice legs
01:11:51Don't try to butter me up by being nice
01:11:54Okay?
01:11:56All righty then
01:11:58Take him where the sun don't shine
01:12:00Third cell on the left
01:12:03Bye-bye
01:12:03Bye-bye
01:12:05Call my attorney
01:12:05You are under arrest
01:12:06See ya
01:12:07No, no, no
01:12:07Got it good
01:12:08You have to turn your arrest
01:12:10Call my attorney
01:12:10There is nothing wrong
01:12:34Everybody, I'd like to officially welcome Lieutenant Mary May
01:12:43She's going to be leaving internal affairs
01:12:44And joining us as our new head of vice
01:12:47Hey, where the hell's Clifford anyway?
01:12:49Well, it seems the boy had to turn in his badge
01:12:59Well, as of today
01:13:02Officer Carroll will be my new right-hand man
01:13:06And Officer Hamilton will be my new left-hand man
01:13:18Well, anyway
01:13:20Just remember what I've always said
01:13:27Oh, yeah, oh, yeah
01:13:30A good, uh, good, um
01:13:32There's nothing like a good right-hand
01:13:34Right-hand man job
01:13:36Hell, it was a man-man job
01:13:38It was a hand job
01:13:39Right
01:13:39I mean, a right-hand man
01:13:40The job for a right-hand man
01:13:41The job for a right-hand man
01:13:43Right-hand
01:13:43It was a hand
01:13:46It's time for lunch
01:13:48Come on for lunch
01:13:49Quoting industry
01:13:51Bye-bye
01:13:53Good job, Mike
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