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Taskmaster - Season 21 Episode 4 - Lou Reed and the Wombles

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00:02You
00:03Don't look away
00:16I might just do this all day
00:36I sweat I sweat when I eat I sweat when I sunbathe I sweat when I you know when I
00:42sweat
00:44But most important of all I sweat the small stuff the decisions that will make or break the spirits of
00:50a comedian
00:50So put some more water on the sauna coals and bring me some lemons because things are about to get
00:57hot
01:00Please welcome Amy Gledhill
01:17A man who told me recently in confidence that whenever he walks a dog in his local neighborhood
01:22He never cleans up her poo and I quote him. What do I care if people get poppy shoes?
01:28They should watch where they're walking
01:44Okay for a little team bonding activity up for that. Yeah, just drink it how I drink it ready. Yep.
01:50Here we go. Hit it
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15:51Well, it's time for the final attempt. On the big screen, Kamel has played a genetically engineered cosmic powered near
15:56immortal superhero in a global franchise. He's also spent 20 minutes doing this.
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23:18Do you want me to tell you who was the slowest?
23:24Yes.
23:25The slowest just was Kamel 35 minutes 56 seconds 35 minutes I did that and 56 seconds and weirdly you've
23:35done it pretty well
23:39Amy asked twice as many questions as you but she asked a question every 11 seconds
23:4633 minutes and 25 seconds
23:48Wow
23:49Well now for two super switched on guys there are Mando and Joel
23:55Is it
23:57Is it meat?
23:58Is it bird based?
24:00It is yes
24:02Is it an egg?
24:04No
24:04Wait, wait, what did you say no to?
24:06Wait, what did you say? Wait, wait, wait, wait
24:08What did I ask?
24:09Have you ever thought about simplifying the rules?
24:11Yes cabbage
24:16Is it chips?
24:18Yes
24:19What was my last one?
24:21Yes, it's chips
24:21Is that a question?
24:23Is it trifles?
24:24Yes
24:24Is it ice cream?
24:26Nothing to do with trifles
24:29It's trifle then
24:30No similarities
24:35What put it back on you still don't know exactly exactly what it is keep going
24:39Do you enjoy them with vinegar?
24:44Yes, it's chips still
24:46It's chips
24:48Yes
24:51No, what are you doing?
24:53Oh, what?
24:54I thought I was supposed to say what it was in an opelish
24:57You have seen it now
24:59No, I haven't
25:00Will this stop if I
25:10Is it custard?
25:11No, if you stab your eye with a fork we'll carry on
25:20Oh
25:41No
25:43No
25:47Custard in one bowl and mustard in another bowl. Yes
25:57It's custard and mustard is this a floor no, it's definitely not so so that's yes
26:03So it's mustard and custard. You can now open the cloche and eat it
26:09I've stopped the clock
26:14Oh, I think I need to like seriously go back to school or something
26:25What I don't understand was it got me harder after I'd seen it
26:31You were both quicker than the outside to quickly looked at the food
26:37Armando looked at it after 10 minutes and got it right after 21
26:43Joe Joe looked after six minutes and got it right after 26 and a half
26:48No eyes of them got it right then they both looked again to get it right so they get nothing
26:53I imagine so
26:55Time for a break put that phone down no doom scrolling stand up stretch your legs go into the garden
27:00and shout
27:00I am alive into the night sky. I mean it do it now
27:16Yes, part three is an incredibly irritating Tuscan play all the contestants have to do is work out what food
27:22is under the cloche
27:23Whereas I have to answer their previous question incorrectly hashtag hard for horn
27:27And
27:30There's just one person left
27:33It's the final page. It's Joanna right. There's got I can lift it and see how heavy it is. Oh,
27:40it's very light
27:42I can smell it. It's savory is it savory is it sweet? No, yes, it's savory
27:55I don't like it. It's not that nice. Is it runny? Yeah, is it hot?
28:06No, well that means it's half and half then is it is it is it
28:14Yes, is it cheese? No, what the hell is yellow and runny?
28:20Yes, I'm big things no don't lift up the cloth
28:24It's custard it's custard, but there's some other thing with it, which is savory, but it smells it smells horrible
28:32It smells of a bit like salad cream. I'm just gonna say some things. You're right. It's mustard or something.
28:38Oh
28:41I've been saying custard
28:48You might open the cloche
28:53I think you managed to stack them
28:56God, it stinks!
28:58Will you hold my nose for me, please? I'd love to
29:01Okay, got it
29:02Okay, one, two, three, go
29:04Oh my god, I rolled them up! Oh my god, I did them!
29:07Oh my god, I did them!
29:07I'll stop with that
29:08Bye!
29:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
29:16Well, I mean, let's say it as it is, someone fucked up
29:20He sabotaged it
29:22I was doing so well
29:23No, he gave you the answer
29:25He didn't sabotage it
29:26The shaking system was good
29:28Yeah, the shaking was a good strategy
29:30You know what was a better strategy? Having you tell her the answer
29:33LAUGHTER
29:35I mean, we're gonna have to allow it
29:37Because it's his mistake, not Joanna's
29:39Mmm
29:39But how did she do?
29:41She won! She did really well
29:42Well done, Joanna
29:43Yeah!
29:44Of course she did!
29:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
29:49Amanda and Joel both cheated
29:51Very naughty boys, so zero points each
29:53Three to Kamel, four to Amy, and five to Joanna Page
29:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
29:59Difficult choice, isn't it? Difficult choice
30:00Yeah, yeah
30:01All you had to do was ask one question
30:03Yeah
30:04Cos I had to answer every question incorrectly
30:06If you'd asked me what wasn't under the cloche
30:09I would have told you there was mustard and custard
30:11LAUGHTER
30:12Done
30:13Doesn't matter
30:14Alex
30:17Alex, you must fuck yourself
30:19LAUGHTER
30:21On that
30:22On that
30:23APPLAUSE
30:28Let's test with that
30:29Like we did last summer, but for now
30:31We're back in the lab
30:32And it's everyone's favourite type of test
30:34Multiple choice
30:44MUSIC
30:47Alex
30:48Hello there
30:51OK
30:54Oh, jeez
30:55Filled with that one
30:56Two tasks
30:58Pardon?
30:59LAUGHTER
31:01Oh, three tasks
31:03LAUGHTER
31:05If you opened this task first
31:07You must pop the balloon
31:08Then open another task
31:10Am I allowed to open this?
31:11Because I...
31:12You've got a choice of three to open
31:14If you open this task first
31:16You must spin 360 degrees
31:19Ten times, then open another task
31:21Well, I'm not going to do that
31:22If you open this task first
31:23You must completely cover
31:26The balloon in tin foil
31:29Then open another task
31:30What are you thinking?
31:32I'm not...
31:33I'm...
31:34I'm not really
31:35LAUGHTER
31:37I think I've realised
31:39That's not really my vibe
31:42APPLAUSE
31:44Let's see if you can do some stuff, you
31:46OK, well, first
31:47Just like my third favourite battery
31:49It's double A
31:50Armando and Amy
31:51And just so you know
31:52My second favourite battery's a C
31:54Because they're manly
31:54And my favourite's a triple A
31:55Because they're cute
31:56Here we go
31:58Yeah, I'm going to do the balloon first
31:59Complete all three tasks
32:01Fastest wins
32:02And you must inflect your voice
32:04At the end of every sentence you say
32:06Fastest wins
32:07And you must end every sentence
32:08With the word mate
32:09Your time starts now
32:11Mate
32:12If you open this task first
32:14You must pop the balloon
32:15Then open another task, mate
32:17Pop the balloon
32:18And then open another task
32:19Ta...ta...
32:20Open another task
32:21I'm scared of popping balloons, mate
32:23Oh, right
32:24OOI
32:25WEEE
32:25CREAM
32:26Mate!
32:28Oh!
32:32If you open this task second
32:34You must put the tin foil
32:36And all the dice in the jar
32:37Seal the jar
32:38Then open another task
32:40OK, mate
32:43Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
32:44I've not quite got the inflection
32:46I've not quite got the inflection
32:53Two tasks done
32:54Done
32:54Two tasks done
32:55Done
32:56Two tasks done
32:58And then open this task third
32:59You must eat a yellow sweet
33:00Then you are finished, mate
33:02A yellow sweet then you're finished
33:07Oh, you fucker mate
33:09Is it one of these dice?
33:12It probably would be, wouldn't it?
33:14Hang on, I'll do this a bit more carefully
33:20That was aggressive, sorry about that, mate
33:23Yeah
33:23Does it look like a yellow dice?
33:27Dice?
33:28Dice?
33:29Dice is nice
33:31Oh!
33:33Oh!
33:35Oh!
33:37OK
33:38I have to eat the whole thing
33:40Yeah, don't choke
33:41Don't choke
33:41Don't choke
33:43It's gonna look for a yellow sweet
33:46Mm-hmm
33:47Mm-hmm
33:47Mm-hmm
33:51I've stopped the talk, mate
33:53That's right
33:56Where did you go?
33:57Uh, I-I-I can't remember
33:59But the good news is I've found a yellow sweet
34:02So, uh, I'll just-I'll just eat that
34:08Where did you find it?
34:10Wrapped round a banana
34:11Uh-huh
34:13Wrapped the talk?
34:14Thank you
34:22I thought, until you found the sweet, Amy
34:25I thought we'd finally broken you
34:27There was one mate that I said, not in my accent
34:30And that's when I knew I was angry because I said, mate
34:34What did Armando eat at the end?
34:37It was a yellow sweet
34:38I mean
34:39Well, you said it was previously wrapped around a banana
34:41It was-it was banana-flavoured yellow
34:43It was banana-flavoured yellow
34:44It scraped the banana skin off and tried to pass it off as a sweet
34:47Wait, so that was not a sweet?
34:49It looked like a sweet, didn't it? Yeah
34:51Tasted like a sweet
34:51Well, what was it?
34:52It was a sweet
34:53It was banana-skin
34:55It was-it was banana-skin
34:56Why did you not take a piece of the actual banana?
34:59Why is it the sweet?
35:00Yeah
35:02Oh, is it the only non-edible part?
35:05I'll tell you this
35:06You could make an argument that I should disqualify him for that
35:09But I'm not going to
35:10Because the whole thing broke my heart
35:16Two more?
35:17Two more!
35:17And now it's two stars from the 2020 film Doolittle
35:21It is Joanna and Kumail who were both in Doolittle
35:23What?
35:26I'm going to just do this
35:27Fine, yeah
35:28Complete all three tasks, fastest wins
35:31And you must say
35:32I am Kumail Nanjiani at the end of every sentence
35:35That comes very naturally to me
35:36I'm Kumail Nanjiani
35:38And you must exhale and shake your head
35:41At the end of every sentence you say
35:44Your time starts now
35:47If you open this task first
35:49You must spin 360 degrees ten times
35:51Then open another task
35:53You must completely cover the balloon in tinfoil
35:56Then open another task
35:57I'm Kumail Nanjiani
35:57One
35:59Two
36:00Three
36:00Four
36:04Cool
36:05One done
36:07I'm Kumail Nanjiani
36:08Nine
36:08Ten
36:09I'm impressed
36:11Okay, I'm going to go for this one
36:14If you open this task second
36:16You must spin 360 degrees twenty times
36:19Then open another task
36:20I'm Kumail Nanjiani
36:22If you open this task second
36:23You must put the tin foil
36:26And all the dice
36:28In the jar
36:30Oh my god
36:32I'm assuming
36:32Ah!
36:33Ah!
36:34Ah!
36:38One
36:40Two
36:40Three
36:41Four
36:43I just found the sweets
36:43But it didn't say to put the sweets in
36:45So I'm keeping that
36:46Because I probably need that
36:47For later on
36:51I'm Kumail Nanjiani
36:53I'm Kumail Nanjiani
36:54I'm Kumail Nanjiani
36:58I'm Kumail Nanjiani
36:59If you open this task third
37:01You must wrap the yellow sweet
37:03In the tin foil
37:05Then you are finished
37:08You must eat a yellow sweet
37:10Then you are finished
37:12I'm Kumail Nanjiani
37:15I'm Kumail Nanjiani
37:16That's not a yellow sweet
37:18Is it
37:18I'm Kumail Nanjiani
37:19It's a pink sweet
37:21Right
37:22Right
37:22So I'm gonna suck this one
37:24Because it might be a changing one
37:28Where's the sweet?
37:30There's a sweet somewhere
37:31But where?
37:34Where is it?
37:42Even an idiot would have to agree that's a yellow sweet
37:45I'm Kumail Nanjiani
38:05I'm Kumail Nanjiani
38:05I'm chuffed
38:06I'm chuffed
38:07I'm chuffed
38:08I'm chuffed
38:11I don't quite tell what sort of mood Joanna was in at the end of that
38:16Yeah
38:17It was utter relief
38:18Yeah
38:19Yes
38:19I think I went in like cameramen's pockets and stuff
38:22I was searching like everyone
38:25Kumail
38:26Craig
38:26Were you asked to say your name in the style of Roger Moore?
38:31I can't help it I'm Kumail Nanjiani
38:33Woo
38:34Woo
38:35OK, time for the final ad break
38:37Today's episode will end with somebody celebrating on stage with a jammy kebab and a prosthetic tongue
38:43Oh, I love jam
38:45He does
38:46He loves jam
38:47See you in the next
38:57Hello
38:58Hello
38:59It's the final part of the show and we need to finish what we started in the lab
39:03Our guys had to complete three tasks which they could tackle in whichever order they liked
39:08One person left, he's part man, he's part egg, he's Joel Domlet
39:17Complete all three tasks
39:19Fastest wins
39:20And you must repeat the last two words of every sentence you say, you say
39:24Your time starts now, starts now
39:26Must pop the balloon, then open another task, another task
39:33You must eat a red sweet and then open another task, another task
39:39Red sweet
39:40Red sweet
39:42Is there a red sweet in here?
39:44You're looking for a red sweet
39:45I'm looking for a red sweet
39:46Red sweet
39:50You're thinking about eating the wax
39:52I'm thinking about eating the wax the wax
39:56That's your red sweet, is it?
40:02That nice
40:04Mmm
40:04Mmm
40:05Okay, so we're saying you've done two tasks
40:07Yeah
40:07Can't wait for that waxy poop
40:09If you open this task third, you must spin 360 degrees 30 times then you're finished
40:15Yes
40:15I love this stuff
40:16Here we go
40:20Just in the red sweet
40:28One
40:29One
40:29Two
40:30Three
40:31Four
40:32Five
40:33Five
40:33Seven
40:34Eight
40:34Ten
40:35Ten
40:35Ten
40:35Ten
40:35Ten
40:35Ten
40:36Ten
40:39Ten
40:39Ten
40:40Ten
40:40Ten
40:40Ten
40:41Ten
40:41Ten
40:41Ten
40:44Ten
40:45Ten
40:45Ten
40:49Ten
40:53Ten
40:53Ten
40:53Ten
40:54Ten
40:55Ten
41:01Ten
41:02Ten
41:02Ten
41:02Ten
41:02Ten
41:02Ten
41:03Ten
41:12Did you have to say that last two words for the whole thing?
41:15He was meant to your right come out and after eating the wax seal he stopped saying the end of
41:20the sentence again
41:21But I imagine Greg didn't mind because he liked the spinning so much. I'll just check in. It's just
41:32Doesn't matter if you do the task or not not really, okay
41:38Here are the scores Joanna you were actually the slowest 11 minutes 30. So it's one point for you. Armando
41:44next 9 minutes 12
41:46including banana skin
41:48Will allow it Amy gets three points six minutes five seconds. So it's between Kamel and Joel
41:54One of you took five minutes 40 the other four minutes 57
42:02Joel you get five points
42:05four minutes 57 and Kamel gets four points in second place
42:17That does seem grossly unfair
42:21Please make you wait to the stage
42:35My boy, who will be reading out the task?
42:38I'm your baby boy Amy Kledhill
42:39Thank you, baby boy
42:42Be the first to communicate the item to your team
42:47You must not make any noise
42:49You must use your pencil and ball and you must stare at both throughout
42:54You must stay on your spots at all times
42:57Best team of communicators after five rounds wins
43:02Fantastic
43:03Is this a task where we have to follow the rules?
43:07LAUGHTER
43:10We're going to come over and show Amy and Joanna the first item
43:14This is the first one ready
43:17It's like charades
43:18It is charades
43:21So remember no noise you must use your items and stare at them ready ready
43:27WHISTLEется
43:30ROOOOO
43:31läh
43:31Roll it
43:32DodgeOD Yu
43:34Right, it's a quick one and I won the Iraq
43:36Um, yeah
43:37Good
43:38APPLAUSE
43:40Bye
43:40OK. Ready?
43:46Don't look. Right.
43:48Mmm. Different reactions.
43:51Round two, 1-0 to the team of two.
43:53Shout it out.
43:55Canoe. Rowing.
43:57Or, um, a gondola.
43:59Gondola. Gondola.
44:01Canoe. Ship. Canoe.
44:04Pirate ship. Sea.
44:06Sea. Sea. Sea.
44:06Sea. Sea.
44:08There are your items, please.
44:09There are your items. Ocean.
44:12Ocean. Ocean!
44:14She said it was. She said it was. She said it was.
44:16She said it was. She said it was.
44:18The gallery are actually checking it.
44:20Because here, we're all about the rules.
44:22LAUGHTER
44:24We have analysed the footage and the fastest team was...
44:29Joanna and Armando.
44:31Oh!
44:33So please sit round again.
44:35APPLAUSE
44:37One more will get you the win, but how big were the winners?
44:40Hello again. Hello.
44:41I'm bad at this.
44:43No, you won't be.
44:43You're in movies.
44:44You can do this.
44:46That's your Kamel Nanjiani.
44:50Ready? Go.
44:54Er...
44:55Please stay on your spot, Kamel.
44:57The rules.
44:59Corn. Corn.
45:00Corn.
45:00Corn. Corn.
45:01Nice and silent.
45:02Pork.
45:02Fish.
45:03Pork.
45:04Nice.
45:04Food.
45:05Pork.
45:06Nice.
45:09Spaghetti.
45:10Peas.
45:10Food.
45:11Food.
45:12Spaghetti.
45:13Yes!
45:14It is spaghetti!
45:15Incredible.
45:18Amazing.
45:20Just enough.
45:21That was great.
45:21Switch round.
45:22It's 2-1.
45:23They're back in it.
45:24Back in it.
45:25OK.
45:26Hello, Armando.
45:27Hi, Alex.
45:27Don't give anything away when you see it.
45:29Is that all right?
45:40Please look at your items.
45:42Cool.
45:42Greg Davis!
45:43Yes!
45:43It is Greg Davis!
45:46It's 2-2!
45:47Oh!
45:48That was amazing!
45:51Wow!
45:52Right.
45:53Remarkable.
45:54Back in the game.
45:55OK.
45:55Well, it's the final one.
45:56OK.
45:58We can do this.
45:59We can do this.
46:00We can do this.
46:04OK.
46:05Whoever gets this wins the task.
46:12Javelin.
46:14Um...
46:15Brushing your teeth.
46:16No, I'm a dragon.
46:16Dragon.
46:17Monster.
46:18Uh...
46:19Heart.
46:21Look at your item.
46:22Look at your item.
46:24Uh...
46:25Wax.
46:25Feel.
46:26A bat.
46:27A bat.
46:29A vampire.
46:30A vampire.
46:30Yes!
46:31It is a vampire!
46:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:38OK.
46:39We'll have those for the final scores.
46:40Come down and join me!
46:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:04How's that affected the final scores?
47:05Well, Armando, you won't believe it, is in last place with 10 points.
47:09The other two boys are at the top.
47:11Kamel's got 18 points, but the winner of this episode, the first time he's won a show, is Joel
47:15Joel Domit.
47:15No way!
47:16Joel Domit.
47:17Joel Domit wins!
47:22Please go and have your celebrations with the best combination!
47:25We'll have two more!
47:29We'll have two more!
47:33Woo-hoo!
47:51We'll have two more!
47:53We'll have three more!
47:55We'll have a six-hour run on!
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