- 10 hours ago
The Stupids 1996 [Full Movie] [Trending]Full EP - Full
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:44Oh, I've got a feeling something special is going to happen today.
00:00:53Things to do today.
00:00:56Make check mark on paper.
00:01:00Cross item out.
00:01:02No time for that, I'm afraid.
00:01:05And finally say, that seems pretty senseless, but whatever.
00:01:12That seems pretty senseless, but whatever.
00:01:19That's odd.
00:01:25Joan, honey, did you put these trash cans on the curb?
00:01:28Oh, I left the trash out overnight.
00:01:34Oh, dear.
00:01:36Oh, no.
00:01:38Someone's stolen our garbage again.
00:01:45I just feel so awful about this.
00:01:49Darling, please.
00:01:50It's not your fault.
00:01:51It's the world we live in today.
00:01:53There are people out there for whom nothing is sacred.
00:01:56People who will steal a man's garbage week after week after week.
00:02:01We can get through it, honey.
00:02:02We'll borrow some garbage till we're back on our feet.
00:02:05Don't you see, Joan?
00:02:06That's exactly what they're counting on.
00:02:08Whoever keeps doing this knows that people like us will just sit back and take it.
00:02:12Darn it, I'm not going to take it anymore.
00:02:14Oh, Stanley, please, don't get involved.
00:02:16I already am involved, Joan.
00:02:19Someone is stolen from my family, and I will not rest until I bring them to justice.
00:03:00Probably like half days.
00:03:02When they'reEtolie here, I will do, and hopefully we'll do next.
00:03:09Let's go.
00:03:10PLEASANT
00:03:12That'll be a friend of mine!
00:03:22Oh, my God.
00:03:58What in the world?
00:04:45What in the world?
00:04:48What in the world?
00:04:49Four wheels.
00:04:52Eight wheels.
00:04:54All right, crooks.
00:04:56Now you've got Stanley Stupid on your trail.
00:05:15Morning, Petunia.
00:05:16Morning, Buster.
00:05:18Hey, sis.
00:05:19Have you seen Dad?
00:05:20Isn't he sleeping?
00:05:21No.
00:05:22And he's not outside either.
00:05:23I got up early to walk my fish and he was already gone.
00:05:27Do you think maybe he's been kidnapped?
00:05:30Oh, my God.
00:05:31We must go to the police station.
00:05:35Just as soon as we've left a note for Mom.
00:05:39Oh, my God.
00:05:57Take this down.
00:06:01We have gone to the police.
00:06:07Daddy's been kidnapped.
00:06:11Kidnapped?
00:06:12Don't worry.
00:06:14We'll be back soon.
00:06:16Signed, your children.
00:06:24Let's move.
00:06:32Stanley?
00:06:34Buster?
00:06:36Petunia?
00:06:44Where is everybody?
00:06:53It's impossible.
00:06:54It can't be true.
00:06:59Hello?
00:07:01Hello.
00:07:01Is this Mrs. Stupid?
00:07:03Yes.
00:07:04I'm calling from the police station, Mrs. Stupid.
00:07:06We have your children here, ma'am.
00:07:10Oh, my God.
00:07:11It's true.
00:07:13The police have kidnapped my children.
00:07:36You two just sit tight.
00:07:38We'll have you home in a minute.
00:08:06Let's go in.
00:08:07Oh!
00:08:08It's your turn!
00:08:10Go!oao!
00:08:12Go! Go!
00:08:12Go!
00:08:13Go!
00:08:14Go!
00:08:19Have.
00:08:21Bye.
00:08:24Bye!
00:08:27Mom!
00:08:30Mom!
00:08:33Mom!
00:08:40Mom?
00:08:41Mom?
00:08:42It's no use.
00:08:44Mom's gone too.
00:08:45And we seem to be caught in a deadly game of cat and mouse.
00:09:03He left without even ringing the bell.
00:09:05Apparently, he only wanted us to find this.
00:09:11That's the Jade Palace.
00:09:13What does this have to do with Dad and Mom?
00:09:16I don't know, Petunia.
00:09:17But I think it's time we went there and found out.
00:09:27Friday, June 4th.
00:09:29Today, my world turned upside down.
00:09:32First, I discovered my husband missing.
00:09:35Then, I learned my children had been kidnapped by the police.
00:09:38Now, the fate of my family rests in my hands.
00:09:47Note to self.
00:09:48I must buy a handheld tape recorder.
00:09:50Then, I will no longer be speaking into the garage door opener.
00:10:02Some people can be so inconsiderate.
00:10:17The two.
00:10:20Why, yes.
00:10:22So they have been expecting us.
00:10:34Oh, God.
00:10:58And what can I get for you?
00:11:00Oh, I think you've got a pretty good idea of what we're looking for.
00:11:05May I recommend the cashew chicken?
00:11:07You'll get your cash when we get our parents back.
00:11:10And don't call us chicken.
00:11:40Oh, no, the truck.
00:11:42It's gone.
00:11:44I've lost it.
00:11:45Now it could be anywhere.
00:11:48Finding it now would be like finding a needle in a haystack.
00:12:08It's always the last place you think of looking.
00:12:27I'll never get the hang of these things.
00:12:29Still no sign of mom or dad.
00:12:32I don't get it, Buster.
00:12:35Don't worry, Petunia.
00:12:36Whoever brought us here will contact us when the time is right.
00:12:48Buster, it's a message.
00:12:52Time flies when you're having fun.
00:12:55Time flies when you're having fun?
00:12:59Wait a minute.
00:13:00Isn't the Daily Times bubble just a few blocks away from here?
00:13:03Yes!
00:13:04At the corner of Fun Street and Fly.
00:13:07No, it's Maple and Fifth.
00:13:09Close enough.
00:13:10Let's move.
00:13:19Okay, camouflage lesson number one.
00:13:22To look like a bush, you have to think like a bush.
00:13:28Okay, here I am just being a bush.
00:13:30Just growing and hanging out.
00:13:33Yes, this is a life for me.
00:13:36Sure is a lot of soil around here.
00:13:38A lot of sunshine, too.
00:13:40As a bush, I notice these things.
00:13:42Wait a minute.
00:13:43What's this?
00:13:45I have arms.
00:13:47I am a bush with arms.
00:13:50And legs.
00:13:52I am the first bush in history with legs.
00:13:56I can walk!
00:13:59Oof!
00:14:00Oof!
00:14:01Oof!
00:14:05O gaze, ye young believers, upon this miracle,
00:14:08this walking bush, half man, half plant.
00:14:11He dwells in two worlds, but is the master of both.
00:14:14O manbush, you are nature's greatest wonder!
00:14:29Poor fools thought I was a bush.
00:14:34I'll lock up the bikes.
00:14:36You keep a lookout.
00:14:43Let's move.
00:14:55My children!
00:14:58My children!
00:15:19Police!
00:15:21They recognize me.
00:15:22They're sure to kidnap me, too.
00:15:24What to do?
00:15:37oh my gosh there must be thousands of people's garbage here tens of thousands even why the sheer
00:15:45organization necessary to pull off a heist like this i've uncovered the crime of the century
00:16:04good day officers
00:16:49is that everyone affirmative sir
00:16:52it's showtime
00:17:04welcome gentlemen
00:17:07i apologize for the unpleasantness of our surroundings the setting was chosen for its seclusion
00:17:13not its beauty the weapons you are about to see are american made and i humbly submit
00:17:23the world's best
00:17:35international law has long kept you from acquiring them
00:17:38but as of now i hope to help you overcome that lieutenant
00:17:45first piece of equipment we'd like to demonstrate is the dragon anti-tank missile
00:17:52whether you want to foment revolution or suppress it this hardware will help you get it done
00:17:59strange indeed at the workings of fate how could i have known that today i would wander into the jaws
00:18:05of some kind of super crime
00:18:10i don't know if i have known that i have known that i have known that my life is already
00:18:12in danger
00:18:13yet i feel strangely intensely alive
00:18:16every nerve is alert every sense working overtime nothing escapes my eye
00:18:24excuse me
00:18:28one journey has come to an end but i've got a feeling the real adventure has just begun
00:18:47buster petunia
00:18:51it's some kind of ape woman oh no it's me your mother
00:18:57your mother's some kind of ape woman no no children it's a disguise
00:19:04it's a disguise
00:19:05they're wings
00:19:10next up is an updated version of the 45 caliber personal side arm
00:19:22i think you'll appreciate the increase in stopping power
00:19:54here we have the traditional m16 assault weapon
00:19:58extra new capability
00:20:00not only will it fire
00:20:02excuse me you got a pen i can borrow
00:20:07see you then
00:20:09thank you very much
00:20:12so what's going on around here some kind of company picnic
00:20:14then booze bar
00:20:16why that's a very festive name for it
00:20:19notice all that garbage out there it's all stolen
00:20:23there's something fishy going on frankly our lives may already be in danger
00:20:28i hear you pal at first i was pretty tongue-tied myself
00:20:37oh jerry help i need a new headline for the entertainment section
00:20:41hbo has given the order for a pair of original outer space theme shows for the new season let's see
00:20:47what a foul
00:20:54two alien pilots picked up by network
00:20:57perfect i'm sending it
00:21:02hey you guys keep me ahead in metro will you we're supposed to be in print five minutes ago
00:21:11what's this over here i found the computer
00:21:18what have you got in mind petunia
00:21:21a little ride on the information super highway mom this age of microtechnology the computer is our
00:21:27gateway to information now all we've got to do is figure out the password
00:21:40how about nose it's worth a try
00:21:46all right computer now tell us everything we need to know about stanley
00:21:55too bad
00:21:58relax soldier a week from now we'll both be wealthy men
00:22:02i suppose so sir but i can't help wondering what our country would think of what we're doing
00:22:09this year our country refused my promotion lieutenant they have only themselves to blame now
00:22:22you really think we can pull this off
00:22:26i gave my life to the military nothing's gonna stop me from getting something back
00:22:35sir i think we have a potential situation on our hands what is it soldier an individual sir he
00:22:41appears to have infiltrated the proceedings as far as we can tell he's not affiliated with any of the
00:22:45buyers the cia we're probably already surrounded negative sir we scattered the area and he appears
00:22:51to be alone alone just what kind of cowboy agent is this guy
00:23:11no one is disturbing without my order the buyers must not know anything is amiss understood sir
00:23:24if i know my business the operative will contact us
00:23:40to walk into a situation like this without support
00:23:45this guy must be fearless yes
00:23:57and very very smart
00:24:04business weather sports what is it trying to tell us it's computer jargon mom it's like a whole
00:24:11different language now hand me a photo of dad and let's see what we can find out
00:24:21it's processing the data
00:24:27what does it say fatal error drive b oh my god what does it mean i don't know we've got
00:24:35to warn your
00:24:43father
00:24:44watch out let's go
00:24:49We'd better get out of here! Let's go!
00:25:07Our bikes are gone!
00:25:12And the cops have surrounded my car!
00:25:15Run for your lives!
00:25:47Let's go!
00:25:49Let's go!
00:25:55Let's go!
00:26:12Let's go!
00:26:14Let's go!
00:26:15Let's go!
00:26:24Whoa!
00:26:26Whoa!
00:26:26Let's go!
00:26:28Let's go!
00:26:30Let's go!
00:26:31Let's go!
00:26:33Hey!
00:26:33No!
00:26:34No!
00:26:35No!
00:26:36No!
00:26:40No!
00:26:45No!
00:26:46No!
00:26:47No!
00:26:49No!
00:26:51No!
00:26:53No!
00:26:57No!
00:26:58No!
00:26:58No!
00:26:58No!
00:27:01No!
00:27:03No!
00:27:05No!
00:27:06No!
00:27:07No!
00:27:08No!
00:27:09No!
00:27:10Adios, amigos.
00:27:11Adios.
00:27:14Auf Wiedersehen.
00:27:15Auf Wiedersehen.
00:27:17Hi, Stanley Stupid.
00:27:19Oh, honored to make your acquaintance, Mr. Stupid.
00:27:23You must be a highly skilled investigator to have discovered all of this.
00:27:27Well, actually, I knew I was on the trail with some pretty crafty thieves, but I had
00:27:31no idea there was gonna be this much garbage out here.
00:27:34You are clearly an agent of enormous talents.
00:27:37It's a shame the government will never reward you as richly as you deserve.
00:27:43No, the government doesn't even know I'm here.
00:27:45Ah, and that's why you've approached me, isn't it?
00:27:48To come and get your share, one way or another?
00:27:52Actually, mister, I've approached you because I need a car.
00:27:56Lieutenant, give our friend the keys to my car.
00:28:01A gift to the gifted.
00:28:04Well, thank you very much. That's incredibly generous.
00:28:06Thanks a lot.
00:28:08Appreciate it.
00:28:11And to think I just wanted to ride back to town.
00:28:16Thanks, everybody. I'll see ya!
00:28:27Talk about nerves of steel.
00:28:29Completely surrounded and he didn't even blink.
00:28:31We bought him off for now, sir.
00:28:34But what's to stop him from turning us in anyway?
00:28:36You are, soldier.
00:28:38Without disturbing our clients, follow.
00:28:40Then terminate the target with extreme prejudice.
00:28:44Yes, sir.
00:28:49Meaning?
00:28:50Kill him.
00:28:51All right.
00:29:00Boy, you never realize how many policemen there are until the day they turn against you.
00:29:06This is the biggest emergency of our lives and we can't even call 911.
00:29:11A crisis like this calls for even higher authority.
00:29:14Mom, dial 10-1-1.
00:29:18I'm afraid that's not good enough, children.
00:29:20Your father's life is on the line.
00:29:24I'm calling 75,496-11.
00:29:37Yeah?
00:29:38Hello.
00:29:39My name is Joan Stupid.
00:29:40I'm a housewife and I desperately need your help.
00:29:42Yeah, let me guess, lady.
00:29:44You've had a hectic day running around trying to take care of the kids
00:29:46and now you're panicked because your husband's too home.
00:29:49That's right.
00:29:50Yeah, and you haven't had time to cook dinner, right?
00:29:53That's right, too.
00:29:56Yeah, I hear it every day of the week.
00:29:58What you need is our family special.
00:30:00What's your address?
00:30:0155 Maple Street.
00:30:03Huh.
00:30:04And does your family like coleslaw?
00:30:06Yes.
00:30:07That's all the information I need.
00:30:09You can relax, dear.
00:30:10We'll have you taken care of in less than an hour.
00:30:12Oh, bless you.
00:30:15No need to worry, kids.
00:30:16The most sophisticated emergency response team in the world
00:30:19is working with us now.
00:30:22Interestingly enough, their strategy involves coleslaw.
00:30:29Hello?
00:30:32Hi, honey, it's Bea.
00:30:34Oh, Stanley.
00:30:36Darling, are you all right?
00:30:37I'm fine, but you won't believe the things I've uncovered.
00:30:40Stanley, listen to me closely.
00:30:43You must beware of the drive B.
00:30:47What's the drive B?
00:30:49We don't know.
00:30:51But any error you make with it could be fatal.
00:30:53Just as I suspected.
00:30:54My life may already be in jeopardy.
00:31:11What are you saying, Stanley?
00:31:12There must be some kind of interference.
00:31:14Hold on.
00:31:15I'll turn down the radio.
00:31:21Oops.
00:31:28Oh, he didn't blow-
00:31:33Oh!
00:31:33Hot-hot-hot-hot-hot-hot-hot-hot-hot-hot-hot!
00:31:40Oh, hot-hot-hot!
00:31:46is there something about dad that you're not telling us something about his past
00:31:51that would help explain what's going on
00:31:57children i suppose you're old enough to know the truth and the truth is your father
00:32:05once worked inside the system you mean that's right petunia
00:32:11stanley stupid was a courier for the u.s government
00:32:16at first it seemed like the perfect job
00:32:21every day brought new and fascinating challenges
00:32:24oh great
00:32:29there you go
00:32:36537
00:32:42five-three-seven
00:32:43five-three-seven
00:32:48five-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four
00:32:58-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four
00:33:00-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four
00:33:00-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four
00:33:00-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four
00:33:00-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four-four
00:33:26And then, one day, your father discovered something.
00:33:50That's odd.
00:33:55Coming.
00:34:05What is it now, Stanley?
00:34:06Something very strange, sir.
00:34:09Seems like an incredible amount of letters are being delivered to somebody named Sender.
00:34:12Who is this Sender?
00:34:15And what is he doing with other people's mail?
00:34:18I believe that this calls for a full-scale investigation.
00:34:25The next day, he was fired.
00:34:28They never told him why.
00:34:31But, of course.
00:34:33He knew too much.
00:34:34And my instinct tells me we haven't seen the last of Mr. Sender.
00:34:50Is the target neutralized?
00:34:51I'm afraid not, sir.
00:34:53It seems the enemy repelled our assault team with extreme defensive aggression in a blowing-up-their-car manner, sir.
00:35:02So, he has some combat skills to back up his bravado.
00:35:06Who do we have from special ops?
00:35:08McClellan trained with the SOF, sir.
00:35:10Give him the assignment.
00:35:11Let's see how our friend handles a veteran assassin.
00:35:22Let's see how our friend handles a veteran assassin.
00:35:43Ready?
00:35:44Ready?
00:35:45Ready.
00:35:46It's high time I got myself another tattoo.
00:35:51Just make sure you do it clean.
00:35:53You can't afford to leave a trail of clues.
00:35:56You'll never know what hit him.
00:35:58Didn't you know how you're holding your gas tank?
00:36:00Actually, that's how you get the gas in it.
00:36:02Listen, why don't you top her off? I'm gonna go freshen up.
00:36:18It's hot.
00:36:25Don't cry.
00:36:34So, let's try.
00:36:37A nice try.
00:36:40You'll never have to walk away.
00:36:55Thank you for the excellent service, old-timer.
00:37:30Well, I'm afraid it's bad news.
00:37:32Don't tell me he took out McClellan, too.
00:37:35It's uncanny, sir.
00:37:36I've watched him dispatch assailants effortlessly
00:37:38with techniques that defy description.
00:37:42Who's our explosives expert?
00:37:44That would be Martinez, sir.
00:37:46Give him the assignment and everything he needs to pull it off.
00:37:49I want it done surgical, and I want it done now!
00:37:53God's sake.
00:37:55We're military men.
00:37:56Killing people is supposed to be our job.
00:38:40Go on.
00:38:41Please, leave me alone.
00:38:54What are you trying to do, you darned bee?
00:38:56Can't you see I'm trying to drive?
00:38:58Oh, my God, the drive bee!
00:39:10Fight, deadly!
00:39:11Fight for your life!
00:39:19The tables have turned.
00:39:23The hunter becomes the hunted.
00:39:34Mission accomplished.
00:39:36No one could have survived that blast.
00:39:43Now that's a well-made shoe.
00:39:54Here's your fare and a little extra for yourself.
00:39:57Thank you, sir.
00:39:58What's the occasion?
00:39:59It's just good to be home.
00:40:09Home.
00:40:09Home.
00:40:11You never know how much it means to you till you go away.
00:40:18What are you doing to my grass?
00:40:21Luster?
00:40:22Is that you?
00:40:25Have I been away so long?
00:40:26You live next door, Stanley.
00:40:28Please, call me Dad.
00:40:30Dad?
00:40:34This day keeps getting stranger and stranger.
00:40:37We find ourselves today at the center of a puzzle.
00:40:41At first, all is confusing.
00:40:43But as the pieces come together, patterns emerge.
00:40:47Before long, we can see the sinister face of conspiracy.
00:40:53And it all begins with a man named...
00:41:06Mr. Sender.
00:41:26Letters.
00:41:28Easier to open than pistachios.
00:41:32What's inside is more delicious.
00:41:37If you still love me, Sally,
00:41:40tie a ribbon round the old oak tree.
00:41:44I'm afraid the only thing that's going to be hanging from that tree is you,
00:41:49Bob.
00:41:57Poor Jenny Miller.
00:42:01Nobody coming to her wedding.
00:42:09This postal ploy of yours is the most evil caper of our age, Mr. Sender.
00:42:15How will you ever top yourself?
00:42:16With a crime so unthinkable that no one has ever dared to attempt it.
00:42:22To rob an entire nation of its garbage.
00:42:26The one resource no one ever thinks to protect.
00:42:29Yet, without it, every hefty bag, every trash compactor, every rubbish bin in America will be useless.
00:42:37Desperate men will roam the streets with empty wastebaskets.
00:42:41Panic and chaos will rule the land.
00:42:44The precious balance of civilization will be destroyed.
00:42:48And then, the world will come begging for mercy to me.
00:42:58Your job is to kidnap anyone who discovers my diabolical plan.
00:43:06Including children.
00:43:13This fiendishness must be stopped.
00:43:26It's not all battle to fight, Johnson.
00:43:29We've got enough trouble getting soy sauce into these tiny packets.
00:43:32Maybe we can't stop Sender.
00:43:34But I know someone who can.
00:43:35A bright fellow I worked with in the postal service.
00:43:39Are the guards posted out front?
00:43:41Only the best.
00:43:49Well, no one suspects a thing, Mr. Sender.
00:43:53Unless that bush has ears.
00:44:03The joke's on you, my friends.
00:44:07Bad news, sir.
00:44:09Stanley's stupid has discovered our secret.
00:44:11At last, a foe worthy of matching wits with.
00:44:16Release the dry beast.
00:44:52So, you see, it all begins with Mr. Sender.
00:45:01The police are against us, and obviously, we can't go to the press.
00:45:05What are we going to do, Stanley?
00:45:08We've got to take on Sender ourselves.
00:45:11Oh, it won't be easy finding him.
00:45:14Scouring the countryside for microscopic clues.
00:45:17Following trails that are long since cold.
00:45:20Sensing him always nearby, yet somehow maddeningly beyond our grasp.
00:45:25Hey, there's a Charles Sender listed right here in this phone book.
00:45:30The manhunt begins.
00:45:46The car won't start.
00:45:47Maybe the battery's dead.
00:45:49It was perfectly healthy this afternoon.
00:45:51Well, then maybe it's got some life left in it.
00:45:53I better give it mouth-to-mouth.
00:46:04Not now, Kitty.
00:46:06I've got a battery to revive.
00:46:16Wait a minute.
00:46:17What am I doing?
00:46:19I've cooked up some insane conspiracy theory
00:46:21and put myself in the middle of an illegal weapons deal
00:46:23with some of the world's most dangerous men.
00:46:25I've risked my life and the lives of my family
00:46:28in a scheme that makes absolutely no sense at all.
00:46:35Insight baiting.
00:46:35Stanley, I must remember not to go forward with this.
00:46:39What is it, Stanley?
00:46:40What are you supposed to remember?
00:46:44Um...
00:46:46I don't know.
00:46:55Let's go, everybody.
00:46:56We got a job to do.
00:47:14Hey, what about the delivery?
00:47:17You can't just order food and run off like that.
00:47:21You have insulted the dignity of Floyd's delicatessen.
00:47:37You're sure this is the place?
00:47:38Oh, yes.
00:47:39When I called Cinder's home,
00:47:41his wife said that he works here.
00:47:44Oh, likely story.
00:47:57Okay, Joan.
00:47:58You and Buster searched that end of the building.
00:48:01Petunia and I will take this in.
00:48:02And remember, everybody,
00:48:04use your heads.
00:48:15Oh, my God.
00:48:19Uh, uh...
00:48:28Oh, my God.
00:48:31Oh, my God.
00:48:32Oh, my God.
00:48:33Oh, my God.
00:48:38Oh, no, no, no.
00:49:07I've found his headquarters.
00:49:11And I've stumbled upon his meanish laboratory.
00:49:21Careful, Petunia.
00:49:23One false move and we could end up dead.
00:49:30Dad?
00:49:32Petunia?
00:49:33Everything's gone dark.
00:49:35I can't see a thing.
00:49:37Oh, my God, it's happened.
00:49:41We're dead.
00:49:43I knew it!
00:49:57So, this is heaven.
00:49:59It's quite lovely, really.
00:50:04Funny, isn't it?
00:50:06One minute you're tracking down the head of a global conspiracy and the next minute, poof, it's all over.
00:50:13Sure puts things in perspective.
00:50:16You know who I miss the most?
00:50:19Mom and Buster.
00:50:21Don't worry, honey.
00:50:22They'll be joining us soon enough.
00:50:24The way your mom drives.
00:50:28Hello?
00:50:29Somebody in here?
00:50:31Dad, someone's coming.
00:50:34You think?
00:50:37Yes, Petunia.
00:50:40It's time to meet our creator.
00:50:48Hail to thee, O Lord.
00:50:51Actually, it's pronounced Lloyd.
00:50:56Lloyd.
00:50:56All these years, we've been saying it wrong.
00:51:07So, this is the face of evil.
00:51:26And this is the diary of his twisted schemes.
00:51:40Dates, numbers, years, what in the world?
00:51:48Buster, come on.
00:51:50I found out where Sender's going next.
00:51:52Just a minute, Mom.
00:51:53I've discovered a mysterious room here.
00:51:56There's a strange-looking clock over the top of it.
00:52:01And a control panel with a bunch of numbers.
00:52:05One would almost think it's some kind of time machine.
00:52:15Mom, help!
00:52:17Buster, no!
00:52:28What buttons did you press?
00:52:30I don't know.
00:52:30Just a bunch of random numbers and the letters B, C.
00:52:34Oh, my God.
00:53:03We've traveled back to the age of the...
00:53:06Dinosaurs.
00:53:14It's just so amazing to meet you at last.
00:53:17Well, thank you.
00:53:18It's nice to meet someone who appreciates the work I do.
00:53:22Appreciates it?
00:53:23Why, you're the one that takes care of the entire universe.
00:53:25But you'd be surprised how little thanks I get for it.
00:53:28Most people don't even know I exist.
00:53:33This is the single most fantastic journey in the history of the world.
00:53:43Keep your voice down, son.
00:53:45If one of these things wakes up, we're in real trouble.
00:53:47You look absolutely starved.
00:54:02Hey, look, Mom.
00:54:04The cape of some pretty starved peoples.
00:54:13Their tools seem to be fashioned over primitive styrofoam.
00:54:17We've got to be careful, Buster.
00:54:20The slightest disturbance to this ancient world
00:54:22could affect the entire course of history.
00:54:25Yes.
00:54:26The entire course of history.
00:54:36What are you doing?
00:54:42Just think.
00:54:44My name is now the first word ever written.
00:54:46This rock will be the most sacred mystery on Earth.
00:54:50Buster, snap out of it.
00:54:52When mankind learns to read, I'll be worshipped.
00:54:57Nations will rise and fall in my name.
00:55:01Life on Earth, there'll be nothing but a footnote to Buster.
00:55:07We've got to get out of here.
00:55:10Not to be disrespectful, but I feel that perhaps we've come here too early.
00:55:14The truth is the two of you shouldn't be here at all.
00:55:17You mean you're sending us back into the world?
00:55:20I'm afraid so.
00:55:21But don't get me wrong.
00:55:22It's been a pleasure talking to you.
00:55:24But there's work to be done.
00:55:26So our crusade against the world's injustice is important.
00:55:29Just head through that door marked exit.
00:55:32Take you back to where your car is parked.
00:55:34Did you hear that, Petunia?
00:55:36We're getting a second chance.
00:55:37Hooray!
00:55:41Do you have any finer words for us before we go?
00:55:44Well, if you want to make my job easier, remember, throw your gum in the trash when you're done chewing.
00:55:51I spend a huge amount of my time cleaning up gum.
00:55:54So long as we live, we shall fight that wrong.
00:56:07Sorry, Mom.
00:56:09I sort of went mad with power back there.
00:56:12Well, the most important thing is, you made it.
00:56:16Mom!
00:56:17Buster!
00:56:18Joan!
00:56:19Buster!
00:56:23Dad!
00:56:23Petunia!
00:56:25Stanley!
00:56:26Petunia!
00:56:30You've made it!
00:56:32Are you all right?
00:56:34How did it go in there?
00:56:35Well, Joan, we had a remarkable 20 minutes.
00:56:37We died, went to heaven, met God, and got brought back to life.
00:56:42But still, no sign of sender.
00:56:45What happened to you guys?
00:56:46We traveled through time to the age of dinosaurs,
00:56:48and Buster established himself as the most important and mysterious figure in history.
00:56:53Buster?
00:56:54Sorry, Dad.
00:56:56And even more importantly, we found this.
00:57:02Names, places, dates, times.
00:57:06Wait a minute.
00:57:07There's an entry in here for today.
00:57:09Channel 3 News at 1 o'clock.
00:57:11We passed the Channel 3 News Station on the way over here.
00:57:15And it's almost one now.
00:57:16The trail is still fresh.
00:57:18Let's go.
00:57:45We're here.
00:57:46We're here.
00:57:55Somewhere in this building is the man we're looking for.
00:57:58Let's find him before he finds us.
00:58:11Good news today for Culture Buffs.
00:58:13A new exhibit arrives today at the Museum of Natural History.
00:58:17And here to tell us about the highlights is museum director, Charles Sender.
00:58:20Welcome.
00:58:21Thank you, thank you.
00:58:22You know, if you love pre-Columbian sculpture as much as I do, you are in for a real surprise.
00:58:29Because in less than an hour, I will be picking up a stunning collection of Olmec heads on loan from
00:58:36museums all over the world.
00:58:38Now, I understand it's exhibits like this that have given our museum its most profitable year ever.
00:58:43You must be a very sought-after curator.
00:58:46Yes.
00:58:47Sometimes I feel like a hunted man.
00:58:54Try your best to blend in, Petonia.
00:58:56Remember, we can't afford to get caught.
00:58:59Oh, excuse me.
00:59:00I'm looking for the set of the late at night show.
00:59:01Excuse me.
00:59:02I'm looking for the set of the late at night show.
00:59:04I'm supposed to be making a delivery there.
00:59:05I'm supposed to be making a delivery there.
00:59:08Could you give this to Doug, the stagehand?
00:59:09I'd be so grateful.
00:59:10He's a big fat guy.
00:59:11You can't miss him.
00:59:12Here.
00:59:13This will get you backstage.
00:59:15I really appreciate this.
00:59:22I'm sorry.
00:59:23They're taping a TV show.
00:59:24No one gets in without proper authorization.
00:59:27Oh, ma'am.
00:59:28This way, please.
00:59:34Keep your eyes peeled for anything unusual, son.
00:59:37Mr. Cinder can't be far away.
00:59:39Just watch for the slightest sign of strange behavior.
00:59:42Dad?
00:59:44They're putting makeup on men in there.
00:59:47Bullseye.
00:59:55Are they ready?
00:59:56Ready when you are.
00:59:58Then let's go, everyone.
00:59:59We're on.
01:00:07Okay.
01:00:08Let's go.
01:00:12Yeah, but Sly's a lot taller now.
01:00:15You know, people think it's really easy being a celebrity, but when they canceled my series,
01:00:19Malibu Beach Detective, I was just absolutely devastated.
01:00:29Well, I'm sure everyone is very sympathetic for you.
01:00:32You put so much work into such a fine series to have it taken off the air.
01:00:36As an artist, I was truly crushed.
01:00:43It was the most awful, heartbreaking, shocking thing that's ever happened to me.
01:00:58Mom, I can't get this light switched to work.
01:01:01Just a moment, dear.
01:01:08Okay, now, let's take a look.
01:01:19Well, maybe you'd all be happier if there was no primetime television.
01:01:28What's going on?
01:01:36You could spend every night reading books together.
01:01:52Well, my next guest is a world-class French chef.
01:01:57So stay tuned, everyone, and let's give it to the fat guy.
01:02:26Okay, let's settle, everybody.
01:02:27We're on in five, four, three.
01:02:32Have you ever thought you came from an unusual family?
01:02:36Well, after you meet my guest today, you may want to adjust your standards.
01:02:41I divorced my wife in order to date her daughter.
01:02:49I married a Siamese twin and had an affair with her sister.
01:02:56I've been engaged to three of my cousins.
01:03:04I'm, well, to tell you the truth.
01:03:10I'm, I'm my own grandpa.
01:03:12You're your own grandpa?
01:03:14That's right.
01:03:16Well, for those of us who've never heard of such a thing, maybe you could explain.
01:03:20Of course, it's quite simple, really.
01:03:22Many, many years ago when I was 23, I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
01:03:29This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red.
01:03:33My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed.
01:03:37This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life.
01:03:40For my daughter was my mother because she was my father's wife.
01:03:44To complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy,
01:03:48I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.
01:03:52My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad.
01:03:55And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad.
01:03:59For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother.
01:04:03To the widow's grown-up daughter who, of course, was my stepmother.
01:04:07That was our banker and burn.
01:04:10Payments will be transferred to our account when we deliver the hardware.
01:04:13In approximately two hours.
01:04:15Nothing left to do but relax, Lieutenant.
01:04:18No power on earth can stop us now.
01:04:22I'm my own grandpa.
01:04:26I'm my own grandpa.
01:04:28It's impossible.
01:04:29We killed that man.
01:04:31For God's sake, kill him again.
01:04:34Our future is in his hands.
01:04:36My father's wife then had a son who kept him on the run.
01:04:40And he became my grandchild because he was my daughter's son.
01:04:43My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue.
01:04:47Because although she is my wife, she's my grandmother, too.
01:04:51If my wife is my grandmother, then I am her grandchild.
01:04:54And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild.
01:04:58This has got to be the strangest thing I ever saw.
01:05:02As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa.
01:05:06I'm my own grandpa.
01:05:08Everybody!
01:05:10I'm my own grandpa.
01:05:12It's so funny, I know, but it really is so.
01:05:16Hey!
01:05:17I'm my own grandpa!
01:05:20Stay tuned, everybody.
01:05:21We'll be right back after this break.
01:05:29Thanks again for coming to the station, Mr. Sender.
01:05:31It was a pleasure, I assure you.
01:05:33Bye-bye.
01:05:36Sender!
01:05:39We meet at last.
01:05:40No time to chat, I'm afraid.
01:05:42I'm taking over the heads of a dozen foreign countries.
01:05:50I got it!
01:05:51His plans for world domination are already coming together.
01:05:58You know what's strange, Dad?
01:06:00I would have thought a man as powerful as Sender would be surrounded by bodyguards.
01:06:05You can't see him, Buster, but they're here.
01:06:08Ready to pounce on anyone who so much as utters the words,
01:06:10I'll get you yet, Sender.
01:06:12Whoa!
01:06:13Hey, let's go of my dad!
01:06:17Whoa!
01:06:24Buster!
01:06:26What happened?
01:06:28It's Sender's men!
01:06:29They captured Dad!
01:06:34So where are we going, fellas?
01:06:50Fasten your seatbelts.
01:07:11You're a clever man, Mr. Stupid.
01:07:15If that really is your name,
01:07:18too clever for your own good.
01:07:22And you play the innocent most convincingly.
01:07:25You thought you'd fool me into thinking you were dead,
01:07:29and then you'd catch me red-handed when I went to make the sale.
01:07:34A masterful bit of strategy.
01:07:36And you came dangerously close to pulling it off.
01:07:40We better get going, sir.
01:07:42We're due at Warehouse 21 in less than an hour.
01:07:45Warehouse 21?
01:07:46No use gathering intelligence now, my friend.
01:07:49Our little chess game is over.
01:07:54I hope you won't find the end game too unpleasant.
01:07:59I'm sorry, ma'am.
01:08:01There's nothing I can do.
01:08:17It's no use.
01:08:19They won't let anyone onto that army base unless they're in the army.
01:08:22This is serious.
01:08:23Dad's in danger.
01:08:25I gotta think of something.
01:08:27What if we form our own army?
01:08:29To do that, we'd have to form our own country.
01:08:32We could call it stupidia.
01:08:34A sovereign nation with its own laws, its own customs, its own government.
01:08:38Mom, mother of this household,
01:08:40your leadership has stood the test of time.
01:08:44I'd like to nominate you as president.
01:08:46To the polls, everyone.
01:08:47Get this over with already, would you?
01:08:49This guy's already taken out three of our best.
01:08:52Relax.
01:08:55His hands are tied.
01:08:57He's unarmed.
01:08:58We've got two guards posted outside.
01:09:01And I've got a gun on him.
01:09:03There's no way he's leaving here alive.
01:09:06Isn't that right, Mr. Stupid?
01:09:11Remember, throw your gum in the trash when you're done chewing it.
01:09:15I spend a huge amount of my time cleaning up gum.
01:09:20In the name of the Lloyd!
01:09:35Oh, gee!
01:09:37All right.
01:09:38Get your hands up.
01:09:45Thank you, dear Lloyd!
01:09:48The polls are dead even.
01:09:50Give or take a vote.
01:09:54Only we knew who Dad was voting for.
01:09:58Joan!
01:09:59Joan!
01:10:00Congratulations, Mom.
01:10:01Thank you, everyone.
01:10:03And as your president,
01:10:05I appoint Stanley Stupid,
01:10:07head of the army.
01:10:10Your first duty is to go onto that army base
01:10:13and rescue my husband.
01:10:14And get our dad while you're at it.
01:10:16I'm afraid those two will just have to wait.
01:10:17We've got to get to a place called Warehouse 21.
01:10:23Joan, give me the keys.
01:10:30The car won't start.
01:10:33Dad, you and Mom, switch places.
01:10:51Mom, hand the keys to Dad.
01:10:54Mom, hand the keys to Dad.
01:11:26This must be the place.
01:11:47Well, what have we here?
01:12:03Sorry.
01:12:05Sorry.
01:13:02Excuse me, everyone.
01:13:03May I have your attention, please?
01:13:10No, no, no, no, no.
01:13:12He's amazing.
01:13:14Before you unleash strife and warfare upon this planet,
01:13:17please look into your hearts.
01:13:20No guns.
01:13:23Inside, you're still human beings.
01:13:25You can change your ways.
01:13:29You all can come back for the dark side.
01:13:34You send a squad of men towards the eastern flank of the warehouse.
01:13:38You organize a counter to the left.
01:13:40Your men will back the first two squads while my men rove on point.
01:13:45But he's the only one of men.
01:13:47Trust me.
01:13:48You don't want to underestimate him.
01:13:52So turn yourselves in, everyone.
01:13:54My family and I did not wish to fight you.
01:13:57But if you do not give up, you will leave us no choice.
01:14:01Are they giving up?
01:14:03No.
01:14:04As a matter of fact, they seem to be organizing some sort of massive attack.
01:14:08I guess they want to do things the hard way.
01:14:14They seem pretty well armed, Dad.
01:14:17Yes, Buster, but so are we.
01:14:18Oh, they may have knives and guns and missiles and bombs,
01:14:21but we're armed with the fact that what we're doing is right.
01:14:24Sometimes you have to trust in that.
01:14:34Let the final showdown begin.
01:14:44Don't!
01:14:44Don't!
01:15:01Get him!
01:15:03Whoa!
01:15:17Left!
01:15:17Left!
01:15:23Left!
01:15:26Left!
01:15:27Left!
01:15:29Left!
01:15:31Left!
01:15:32Left!
01:15:32No, the other left!
01:15:35I got him!
01:15:37Left!
01:15:40No no!
01:15:41Run!
01:15:41Right!
01:15:52Take your time, man.
01:15:54He's unarmed.
01:15:57Or am I?
01:16:03Aha!
01:16:10Aha!
01:16:12Whoa!
01:16:23I'm stuck.
01:16:24I'm caught.
01:16:25I'm trapped.
01:16:25Somebody help me out here.
01:16:27I'm cornered.
01:16:28Yes, that's the word I'm looking for.
01:16:30I'm cornered.
01:16:31I'll save you, Dad.
01:16:32Let me run.
01:16:33Come on!
01:16:41Come on!
01:16:43Come on!
01:16:49Ah!
01:16:50Ha-ha!
01:17:09Must concentrate.
01:17:12Focus power of mind over matter.
01:17:21Channel every ounce of willpower.
01:17:25It's working! I've done it!
01:17:28Behold the superhuman strength of Buster!
01:17:32Huh?
01:17:38Oh!
01:17:39Buster!
01:17:50Oh!
01:17:51Oh!
01:17:52Oh!
01:17:53Oh!
01:17:54Oh!
01:17:55Oh!
01:18:04Buster!
01:18:06Sorry, Dad.
01:18:08What the hell was that?
01:18:09Sounds to me like it came from the warehouse district.
01:18:13Oh!
01:18:20Oh!
01:18:23Oh!
01:18:24Oh!
01:18:26Oh!
01:18:28Oh!
01:18:30Oh!
01:18:31Oh!
01:18:32Oh!
01:18:33Oh!
01:18:33Oh!
01:18:34Oh!
01:18:36Oh!
01:18:36Oh!
01:18:37Oh!
01:18:38Oh!
01:18:39Boomer!
01:18:39Boober!
01:18:40Samly, please be careful out there!
01:18:42There are lots of little fires burning all over the place now!
01:18:51Oh!
01:18:53Ugh!
01:19:07This is the worst fire extinguisher I've ever seen.
01:19:24Take out!
01:19:29Back!
01:19:46How lovely.
01:19:54Car 15, request backup. Send squad cars immediately to warehouse 21.
01:19:58Car 15, we are on our way.
01:20:01Oh, great.
01:20:03Fine.
01:20:04Just great.
01:20:10Get out of here!
01:20:31We've got to get out of here.
01:20:32Not to worry, Lieutenant.
01:20:33The police are on my side.
01:20:35As far as they know.
01:20:41How do I look?
01:20:43Quite convincing, sir.
01:20:44But what about me?
01:20:46You, my friend, are on the wrong side of the law.
01:20:51Sir?
01:20:55Get some cops over here.
01:20:56I got the ringleader.
01:21:05Shoot to kill, boys.
01:21:07Those are evil men in there.
01:21:09Whoo!
01:21:16You've got to let me through, officer.
01:21:18The cargo I'm transporting is extremely cultural.
01:21:21I'm sorry, sir, but no one's getting through here at the moment.
01:21:24Oh, my.
01:21:25I guess I'll have to find another route home.
01:21:28In the meantime, could you please just pull your vehicle over there with the rest of the cars?
01:21:31Yes, sir.
01:21:33Oh, Stanley, you were so brave in there.
01:21:38And look, the police are on our side again!
01:21:41Come on!
01:21:42Keep moving!
01:21:42I, I, I had a hold of us.
01:21:44Stand by!
01:21:45You go, miss, sir! Come on, come on!
01:21:47Move it, move it!
01:21:48Move it!
01:21:49Yes, our work here is done.
01:21:50But before we go, there's a certain arch villain I'd like to speak to.
01:21:54I have a feeling he learned a pretty important lesson today.
01:22:01well my friend it seems you lost i certainly am problem is you took the wrong road right from the
01:22:09start can you help get me back on the right path yes i can but it won't be easy you've
01:22:16got to turn
01:22:17yourself around you've got to straighten out but as long as you can remember to head towards the
01:22:23light you'll never go wrong thanks you've really saved me until we meet again
01:22:42it's been quite a day
01:22:46and i have to say that i'm glad it's finally over
01:22:51i'm afraid it's not over yet
01:22:56you must think you have some kind of guardian angel stanley
01:23:00you thought you could take me on and pay no price destroy my future
01:23:04and then slip through my fingers again and again
01:23:09well not this time bucko
01:23:13this time i'm gonna take care of you myself
01:23:17where's your guardian angel now
01:23:22that's your surprise to see me we certainly are i'm very impressed i might add
01:23:27well let this be a lesson to you nobody gets away from me i've been on the job too long
01:23:32here's your bill
01:23:40i would have thought guardian angels work free
01:23:43oh joan you're so wonderfully nice
01:23:50i assume you work for the lloyd
01:23:53me no my boss's name is floyd
01:23:56no it's pronounced lloyd
01:24:08hey neighbor hey stanley didn't see you around much this weekend
01:24:12what you been doing ah this and that had breakfast read the paper saved the world
01:24:18oh is that right say today i thought we'd have a little barbecue why don't you stop by there's plenty
01:24:22for everyone well thanks dundee but uh i left the water running in my bathtub
01:24:32up
01:24:33uh
01:24:38uh
01:24:39uh
01:24:39uh
01:25:03I don't know.
01:25:29This is going to be great, Dad.
01:25:32Say, how can I help?
01:25:33You can flip the burger, son, but I better handle the lighter fluid.
01:25:37See?
01:25:37Keep out of reach of children.
01:25:39Right there.
01:25:40You've got to be careful.
01:25:49What is it, boy?
01:25:54What is it, kitty?
01:26:12Are you hungry?
01:26:14Do you want a biscuit?
01:26:20That poor dog doesn't know what he wants sometimes.
01:26:22Woo-hoo!
01:26:25Woo-hoo!
01:26:28Woo-hoo!
01:26:34Woo-hoo!
01:26:36Yeah.
Comments