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8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown - Christmas Special 2025 - 24 December 2025 [Full Movie] [Trending]Full EP - Full
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00:00Ladies and gentlemen, please, thanks for the noise to Mr. Jimmy Carlton!
00:13The power!
00:15Thanks for coming out. Merry Christmas, everyone. You all right?
00:19OK, so we've got an amazing line-up.
00:20We've got team captains John Richardson and Rob Beckett,
00:23Judy Love, Daisy May Cooper, Katie Norris, Susie Dent and Rachel Riley.
00:28That's for sure.
00:32Let's have you here.
00:35Christmassy.
00:41OK.
00:45Say one more moment?
00:46I'm worried I don't look Christmassy enough.
00:49Should we do this?
00:50Yeah, yeah.
00:52We should do this.
01:17Whoo!
01:18Whoo!
01:28Hello and welcome to the 8 out of 10 Cats Does Countdown Christmas special.
01:32A show about letters, numbers, conundrums and Christmas.
01:36OK, let's meet tonight's players.
01:37First up, it's team captain John Richardson.
01:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:45John does look like one of Santa's elves,
01:47but the one that works in accounts.
01:51Who would now?
01:54And John's team mate, Daisy Mae Cooper.
01:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:01Daisy claims she once attempted to have sex with a ghost.
02:04I bet that put the willies up here.
02:07Up against them this evening, team captain Rob Beckett.
02:10CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:12Thank you. Thank you.
02:14Rob Beckett loves Christmas because of the huge smiles
02:17on his kids' faces, which, sadly for them, are genetic.
02:21LAUGHTER
02:24And joining Rob tonight is Judy Love.
02:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:30Judy Love attended drama school for four months,
02:32but left after she fell pregnant.
02:34And that is as close as Hackney is going to get
02:36to the Nativity Story.
02:39So you're at drama school and you fell pregnant, so that's...
02:41Yeah, it was... No...
02:42That's a hell of an improv session.
02:43It was... It was proper.
02:45It was live, everyone enjoyed it.
02:46It was a different kind of show.
02:48LAUGHTER
02:49Did you do any more acting after that?
02:51We could do an improv moment right now.
02:53OK.
02:55That night...
02:55Yeah.
02:57It was so special to me.
03:00LAUGHTER
03:06John, have you ever been asked to turn on a town's Christmas lights?
03:09You sound very unwell, Jimmy.
03:12The voice box is the only thing you haven't had replaced,
03:14and now look.
03:18Er...
03:19Yeah, I did a few last year, actually,
03:20but none of them have asked me back.
03:23Er...
03:23I hooked them all up to sparkmeters.
03:26LAUGHTER
03:27I had a few booked in this year, but, er, then Andrew became available.
03:32LAUGHTER
03:34You can't beat a royal who wants to work cash in hand.
03:37LAUGHTER
03:39All right, Daisy, er, what was it like growing up with your brother Charlie?
03:43Traumatic.
03:44Er, Christmases were very traumatic.
03:46Our great nan came to stay with us one Christmas.
03:49I was about eight, Charlie was about five,
03:52and we had bunk beds.
03:54Christmas Eve, we heard the door open,
03:57and we thought, oh, my God, it's Santa Claus.
03:59Right.
03:59And it wasn't.
04:00It was our, er, great nan, who was naked,
04:03er, sleepwalking with night terrors, right?
04:06She just walked into our room and screamed.
04:10LAUGHTER
04:10Horrendous.
04:11So, what part...
04:12So, what part...
04:14So, what part of her made you think it was Father Christmas?
04:17The long beard.
04:18The long beard.
04:20LAUGHTER
04:22It was awful.
04:22He tripped over it.
04:23It was horrible.
04:25Rob, what element of Christmas would you ban?
04:27I would ban, er, The Snowman.
04:29The depressing cartoon?
04:30Yeah, that, it's on every year.
04:32Why?
04:32Oh, it's shit!
04:35Chill away, it's a shit drawing.
04:37Like, we've got Moana now, proper CGI.
04:41Animation's moved on.
04:42I don't want to watch something worse at the special time,
04:44do you know what I mean?
04:45So, yeah, I'll get rid of The Snowman.
04:48Sorry, I've upset the entire nation.
04:50LAUGHTER
04:51Do you like The Snowman?
04:52Yeah, I do.
04:53He dies at the end.
04:55Do you not like that bit when he dies?
04:56He dies?
04:56Oh, I'll watch it this year.
04:58LAUGHTER
05:00Judy, are you a good cook?
05:02Do you do Christmas dinner?
05:03Yeah, it depends on whether, you know, the spirit takes me,
05:06and the spirit is called rum.
05:09LAUGHTER
05:09Your food situation at Christmas, we've spoke about this before,
05:12is mental, how much food do you make?
05:13We do everything, we do rice and peas, then we do plain rice,
05:16then we do curry goat, and then we do jerk chicken,
05:19then we have fried chicken.
05:20But in the morning we have fried fish,
05:22Escobar fish with Ardo bread,
05:24we might have ackee and saltfish,
05:25then we kind of add our little British culture,
05:27which is a bit of toast.
05:29And then...
05:30LAUGHTER
05:32LAUGHTER
05:33Then we have dessert, we've got the black cake,
05:35we've got everything, fruits and cream.
05:37It feels like you could cut the plain rice course.
05:40Oh, no, no, no, no.
05:41This is a Jamaican house course, there's nothing plain in there,
05:43even the plain white rice is seasoned.
05:45It's washed, it's got salt, it's got butter,
05:47you put a bit of wine...
05:49Oh, let's not go there, white people, please!
05:52LAUGHTER
05:53You wash it, and then you let it bubble up,
05:55and you put butter and you put salt, you put a bit of thyme,
05:58and I like to, with my plain white rice,
06:00I get a Scotch bonnet when it's simmering,
06:02and I put the Scotch bonnet in the middle
06:03and just let it simmer down, don't let it burst.
06:05Let me tell you something, you will never...
06:07Like they say, once you go black, you don't go back.
06:09Once you go white rice with a Scotch bonnet,
06:12you won't go back, I'm telling you.
06:14Try it, people!
06:15Sounds good, sounds good.
06:16Thank you, thank you for the one clap.
06:18LAUGHTER
06:19OK, John, have you got a mascot?
06:21I have.
06:22What have you got?
06:23Well, it's all about Christmas traditions.
06:25For me, the best tradition of Christmas
06:27is when you get your Christmas morning bin bag.
06:31LAUGHTER
06:39I start looking for mine about September.
06:42LAUGHTER
06:42I'd start filling it with that suit.
06:45LAUGHTER
06:47So, you know, you've got to start thinking about
06:49what sort of load it's going to take,
06:51what thickness of bag you want.
06:53You know, you get the wrong Christmas bag,
06:54and the kids have been up at R5,
06:56you're three Christmas bin bags in by six o'clock.
06:58It's true.
06:58You ain't coming back from that.
06:59Yeah.
06:59Christmas day's over.
07:00Is that a heavy duty?
07:01It's not full heavy duty, no,
07:02because then I think there's too much heft to it.
07:05Right.
07:05And it sort of takes...
07:06You want the crinkle.
07:07Yeah, yeah.
07:08Some of that Christmas...
07:09Are you struggling with that?
07:10I am struggling a little bit.
07:12LAUGHTER
07:13I don't think you've picked the right bag.
07:17LAUGHTER
07:18LAUGHTER
07:31Is that really you?
07:35That's me, yeah.
07:36Which one?
07:38LAUGHTER
07:41Yeah, my sister's in that picture,
07:42but the team have taken the decision to edit her out
07:45and put the bag where she was stood,
07:47so that's a conversation we'll have at my real family Christmas.
07:51LAUGHTER
07:53Daisy, have you got a mascot?
07:54Do you want to bring him out?
07:56Oh, this is my son, Benji, dressed as a crisps pudding.
08:01Oh!
08:02Thank you, babe.
08:03Oh, hello, Poppet!
08:05He...
08:06Um...
08:06Yeah, I...
08:07It's only because I sort of fucked up a bit with childcare.
08:11LAUGHTER
08:13I said, can I bring him?
08:15And they said, fine.
08:17And they said, have you bought a mascot?
08:18And I said, no.
08:20You'd be a bit scared of Jimmy,
08:22earlier, weren't you, darling?
08:24Actually, he's not the Grinch.
08:26LAUGHTER
08:26Look, there he is.
08:28He's a nice man.
08:29You wave to him.
08:30Stop it.
08:31Hello!
08:31LAUGHTER
08:33Hi!
08:34How old are you?
08:35You are 17 months.
08:3717 months?
08:38Well, talk me through the conception.
08:40LAUGHTER
08:42It was really great, actually.
08:44LAUGHTER
08:45In a travelodge.
08:47Really, yeah.
08:49I've had the best times there.
08:51Straight talk.
08:52Are you 100% sure that's not Rob Beckett?
08:56LAUGHTER
08:58Show us your teeth, look.
09:00LAUGHTER
09:01That's so good.
09:02Thanks, darling.
09:03He's not going to bite you, the nasty man.
09:06Can I ask, are you...?
09:07Oh!
09:08Oh, darling, I'm so sorry.
09:09He doesn't want to go past him.
09:10And you've picked up a child before, have you?
09:13LAUGHTER
09:13LAUGHTER
09:15You know...
09:18Judy, have you got a mascot?
09:19I have got a mascot, my Jamaican crackers.
09:25LAUGHTER
09:25Yeah, I'm Jamaican, if you didn't know.
09:27It just brings you into, like, my kind of household and my vibes
09:31with different words and stuff that I can teach you.
09:34OK.
09:34So, put it open.
09:36Whoo!
09:37LAUGHTER
09:37Now, can you read what that says?
09:40LAUGHTER
09:41Canceled.
09:41With your best Jamaican accent.
09:43Oh!
09:45Bye, Rob.
09:47LAUGHTER
09:49Lickle more?
09:50Yes!
09:51Lickle more.
09:51Lickle more?
09:52Do you know what that means?
09:53A little more?
09:54Lick it more.
09:55Oh!
09:56No, it doesn't.
09:57Lickle more, yeah, it means a little more.
09:59Little more.
09:59Or you could say in the same thing, like,
10:02I'll see you soon.
10:03Lickle more.
10:03Like, I'll soon come.
10:05Gunfinger.
10:06All right, there we are.
10:08Just got carried on.
10:09Well, I'm definitely cancelled after that.
10:11Whoo!
10:13Go on, take it.
10:14Let's see if...
10:14Let's see if John...
10:15Let's give it to John.
10:16Yeah, say that.
10:18Go on, John.
10:19Yeah.
10:21Me-day-ya.
10:22Me-day-ya.
10:23Say it faster, though.
10:24Me-day-ya.
10:25Where are you?
10:26Me-day-ya.
10:26Me-day-ya, you can't see me.
10:27Me-here.
10:29Yeah!
10:30Yeah!
10:30Say it with your chest, though, John.
10:33Mama, I'm here.
10:34No!
10:35I'm right here, Judy.
10:37You've missed that.
10:39Me-day-ya.
10:39Me-day-ya.
10:40Where are you, John?
10:40John?
10:41Me-day-ya.
10:42Yeah!
10:45But, Jimmy, I will say you definitely know your language
10:50because the other one is usually wagwana.
10:52You said it before even being prompt.
10:54So, big up yourself, Jimmy.
11:00You look at me.
11:01Sometimes look at me like I'm some sort of bum-ba-cart.
11:03Yeah!
11:05Yeah!
11:10Rob, have you got a mascot?
11:11Can it not be racist?
11:13The answer's yes and then no.
11:16Yeah, I do have a mascot.
11:18What I've got is I was getting the Christmas decorations out the loft,
11:21as you do, and I stumbled across a box full of Christmas presents
11:25that I've got my wife Lou in the past that she's never used.
11:28These are presents you bought for the good lady?
11:31These are presents I've bought for my wife that she doesn't want,
11:33and I think she's bang out of order.
11:38It's already good.
11:40She's into arts and crafts.
11:41I've got her a seven-piece chisel set.
11:46This was a good one.
11:48Wood varnish.
11:50She kept on saying she wanted that fence painted,
11:52so I got this.
11:53She did fuck all with it.
11:57We wanted to try and spice things up in the bedroom.
11:59Right.
12:00You know?
12:00You're in a marriage, you sort of think...
12:02I don't know.
12:02So I got a little outfit.
12:03You don't know?
12:05What about spicing the things up in the bedroom?
12:07I'm not married.
12:07You have plain sex with a scotch bonnet in the middle, do you?
12:10LAUGHTER
12:17Anyway, so I thought I'll get her an outfit to wear
12:20for a bit of sexy time, so I got her this.
12:25But I thought that might be quite nice.
12:26Bit of role-play.
12:27She never wore it.
12:28What a piss take.
12:29It's a beautiful gift.
12:30You know, this one, she didn't want this one either.
12:32A bottle of champagne.
12:33What could be the problem with a bottle of champagne?
12:35That's all right.
12:36What's the say on the label?
12:37To Rob, thanks for all your hard work on the BAFTAs.
12:40LAUGHTER
12:45What do you mean to do, eh?
12:48Jimmy, I'll have the wood varnish.
12:49He's Dua.
12:49You're Dua Rico.
12:54Over in Dictionary Corner, it's Katie Norris.
12:57Thank you, sir.
12:59Merry Christmas, Jimmy.
13:01Well, Merry Christmas to you.
13:02It's your first time on the show.
13:03Tell us a little bit about yourself.
13:04Well, my name's Katie.
13:05And people often think I've got divorced woman energy, but...
13:10I've actually never been married.
13:13And I'm not a mum, just a woman with a tight snatch, a loose tongue and a social lie.
13:18Can I just get a bit of commotion for the outfit?
13:20Yeah.
13:27So, I only wear this for special occasions.
13:29There was a bit of an issue with the crotch, though, because it started to erode.
13:34But the designers sewed into my crotch a professor's elbow, you know, like a suede patch.
13:40Which does feel quite funny to me, because I'm not used to feeling a professor's elbow down there.
13:44But I wanted to feel confident.
13:50Could you tell us less about yourself?
13:54I've got a gift for you, Jimmy.
13:56Excellent. Christmas.
13:57It took me eight and a half hours.
13:58So, I've recently trained to become a taxidermist.
14:02Oh...
14:05This is Boo.
14:07Oh.
14:08Boo Radley.
14:09I mean, Boo-Boo's showing her Boo-Boo.
14:11Yes, her Boo-Boo.
14:12Yeah.
14:13That's a squirrel's elbow down there.
14:17And with Katie, of course, it's Susie Dent.
14:24Susie's books make a great last-minute Christmas gift for people you don't like.
14:29What's your favourite festive word, Susie?
14:31Oh, wonder clout.
14:34And a wonder clout is something that looks really promising.
14:38You think it's going to be great and it ends up being really disappointing.
14:41Oh, I got one of those.
14:43Yeah.
14:44Yeah.
14:45Actually, there is in wrestling, there is a Christmas hold,
14:49which is when one wrestler gets the other by the crotch.
14:52And so it's a handful of nuts.
14:54I think that's what your squirrel has.
14:55Was that nuts on the squirrel, then, or a bulky vagina?
14:59No, these are nuts.
15:01Did you just ask, was it nuts or a bulky vagina?
15:07I think it was a fair question.
15:09No, I don't think we're using the phrase, bulky vagina nut,
15:13on our Christmas show.
15:15And in charge of the numbers, it's Rachel Riley.
15:23I'm not saying Rachel's Christmas dress is short, but I think I can see her grotto.
15:30It's not bulky, either.
15:36Thanks for sharing.
15:38Merry Christmas.
15:40Rachel.
15:41What is your favourite Christmas statistic?
15:43You know how people put food out for Santa and the reindeer?
15:46So some people put milk out.
15:48And apparently in the UK, 1.3 million cans of beer get put out for Santa on Christmas Eve.
15:52Which is about 2.5 million units of alcohol.
15:56So Santa's about 600,000 times the drink driver limit when he's going around up there.
16:02So you can't even read that naughty list.
16:04Which explains why my little one gets presents every year and she's an absolute shit.
16:08LAUGHTER
16:10Rachel Riley, everyone.
16:14OK, and the prize the teams will be competing for tonight
16:17is definitely not an elf on a shelf.
16:20For legal reasons, it's the Countdown elf upon a mantelpiece.
16:32Thanks for lending him the gear, John.
16:34LAUGHTER
16:36OK, let's Countdown, everyone.
16:38Time for our first game.
16:39Rob, Judy, you get first poke of the letters.
16:42Consonant.
16:43Thank you, Judy.
16:44R.
16:46Can I get a vowel, please?
16:48O.
16:50Another vowel, please.
16:52E.
16:52Consonant, please.
16:54N.
16:54Am I still going?
16:55Yeah, it looks like it.
16:57C.
17:00Vowel.
17:01You.
17:02Do you want to go?
17:02No?
17:03Vowel.
17:03No, do you want to start writing it down, then?
17:06A.
17:06Oh, I thought I was saying that you were writing it.
17:08Vowel, please.
17:10Are you sure?
17:11I wasn't, but now I am, just to piss you off.
17:15And then, fuck it, another vowel.
17:17Yeah.
17:17Yeah.
17:19You have to have four, I'm overruling.
17:23That would have a consonant.
17:24Yeah, to have four consonants on this game.
17:25T.
17:26Oh, I see a word.
17:28Oh, yeah.
17:29LAUGHTER
17:29LAUGHTER
17:32Merry Christmas, everyone.
17:37And for the first time today, here's the Countdown Clock.
17:41It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
17:46Everywhere you go
17:49Tales are looking at five and ten
17:52Listening once again
17:54With candy canes and silver lanes aglow
17:59It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
18:04Ties and every store
18:05It's quite hard to read
18:07But the prettiest sight to see
18:09Is the holly that will be
18:11On your own
18:13Front door
18:18Uh, Rob, what have you got?
18:23A four.
18:25Judy, how many?
18:26Seven.
18:26Seven.
18:28Yeah.
18:28Daisy, how many?
18:29I got six.
18:30OK.
18:31John?
18:31Seven.
18:32Rob, what is your broadcastable four-letter word?
18:35Cart.
18:36Daisy, your six?
18:37Toucan.
18:38Mmm, nice.
18:40Judy, your seven.
18:42Counter.
18:42Mm-hmm.
18:43Mm-hmm.
18:44Oh, my God!
18:46Oh, wow!
18:49And, John, your seven?
18:51Cartoon.
18:52Oh!
18:53Oh, my goodness.
18:56Wow.
18:56Seven points to both teams.
18:58Katie, Susie, what could they have had?
19:00Well, you could have had an eight.
19:02Oh!
19:03Ah!
19:03Courant.
19:04Um, it's a 16th-century court dance.
19:07Short steps forward, short steps back.
19:09It's a bit mincing.
19:10I think you'd be quite good at this, Jimmy.
19:13Christmasy.
19:13Very Christmasy.
19:14Nice.
19:15So, at the end of that, both teams have seven points.
19:17Well done, Judy.
19:19Uh, OK, on to our first numbers round.
19:21Uh, John, Daisy, your turn to pick the numbers.
19:23Would you like to pick the numbers?
19:24No.
19:26Two big ones, please.
19:28Three, three, five, four, fifty, and seventy-five.
19:34Mm-hmm.
19:34And the target, 667.
19:37OK, and your time starts now.
19:40.
19:40.
19:40.
19:40.
19:40.
19:40.
19:51.
19:52.
20:10OK, so the target was 667.
20:13Rob, did you get it?
20:15I got 669, so no.
20:18Judy, did you get it?
20:19.
20:20.
20:20.
20:20.
20:20.
20:20.
20:21.
20:21.
20:21.
20:21.
20:24I've written five plus four equals nine, question mark.
20:30Judy done that as 33, not two lots of three.
20:35Jon, did you get it?
20:37666.
20:38Ooh!
20:40The number of the beast.
20:42At Christmas, Jon, how could you? How did you do it?
20:46Five plus four is nine.
20:48Yep. Satanic.
20:5075. Evil.
20:52675.
20:53And then three threes and nine.
20:55Take it away.
20:57666. Wow.
20:58Seven points to Jon.
21:03Rachel, could it be done?
21:05It could if you say four times three is 12,
21:09times 50 is 600. Yes.
21:12And then add the 75 and take the other three.
21:14What are you saying yes for? Yeah.
21:19OK, so Rob and Judy have seven.
21:21Jon and Daisy have 14 points.
21:23Wow.
21:25And here is your teaser.
21:27The words are I, Rob Snow,
21:29and the clue is the thicker the better.
21:31That's I, Rob Snow, the thicker the better.
21:33See you after the break.
21:54It was, of course, unibrows.
21:57So, Jon and Daisy are in the lead.
22:00They've been playing in teams so far,
22:01but this game is just for Rob and Daisy.
22:04So, Daisy, your turn to choose.
22:06Three vowels, please.
22:07Three vowels.
22:07OK, three.
22:08I think this is the moment where we can get our points.
22:10You're not playing.
22:11And another one.
22:12E, U, E and O.
22:15And the rest, the other ones.
22:18Whatever.
22:19We've got S.
22:20Wow, thanks for taking such an interest in me.
22:23Two vowels and C,
22:24and O.
22:24Another S.
22:27Another G.
22:28Ooh, wow.
22:29Oof.
22:29OK, and your time starts now.
22:32Just see it all, sleigh bells jingling Ring jing-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding.
22:38How warm is the lovely weather?
22:40Boys play right together with you.
22:42DING-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding.
22:43Outside the snow is falling
22:45And your friends are calling you.
22:47DING-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding.
22:48How warm is the lovely weather?
22:50I'll virtually ride together with you.
22:52Ring-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a
22:59-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling.
23:03MUSIC PLAYS
23:03LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
23:08Nice.
23:10Oh, this is...
23:12This is a sweet ride.
23:15I've got presents.
23:16LAUGHTER
23:19Who's that for, me or Rob?
23:20That's for you.
23:21Can I open it now?
23:22Yeah, I think that's a special place.
23:25Oh, my God. That's all I need.
23:28LAUGHTER
23:29Oh, is that the first facelift?
23:31This one...
23:36Hang on.
23:38Oh!
23:41Casey, I'll give you that.
23:43Oh, what's this?
23:44Oh!
23:45Oh, my gosh.
23:48Oh, yes!
23:50LAUGHTER
23:52They're not like...
23:53It's not like posed or cheesy, it's just...
23:56I could talk you through them, they're just candied shots.
23:58Oh, January, yes!
24:01I mean, Jimmy, why didn't I get one of those?
24:03Cos I fancy Jimmy.
24:04I really fancy him.
24:06Yeah, I can't talk when he's there.
24:08What is he like about him?
24:10I just think he's really fit.
24:13LAUGHTER
24:16Which one of his faces do you like most?
24:19Yeah.
24:19All of them!
24:21What's your biggest fantasy that you have about Jimmy?
24:24What's your biggest fantasy?
24:25He says,
24:26don't worry about the maths bit,
24:29and we just get it on under the desk.
24:32LAUGHTER
24:35The thing is, he's going to use that when he's about 90,
24:38still doing TV.
24:40Driving himself in the studio like Elton John in a tracksuit.
24:47Oh.
24:47All right?
24:52Do you want to...
25:01Yeah.
25:02LAUGHTER
25:07Look at that.
25:08Woo!
25:09Look at that.
25:11Charles, big crying.
25:12Yes.
25:15LAUGHTER
25:15Bad man, bad man.
25:18Daisy!
25:19Oh!
25:19Oh!
25:22Oh, my God, you're stupid and sick!
25:25There you go.
25:26Oh, fuck.
25:26He's on route to accept all of.
25:29Oh, Daisy, how many?
25:31What?
25:33Oh, wow, yes, letters.
25:36Do you remember the countdown?
25:37I got snogs.
25:39You got snogs?
25:42Did you?
25:43LAUGHTER
25:49LAUGHTER
25:51LAUGHTER
25:53LAUGHTER
25:53LAUGHTER
25:55APPLAUSE
25:56I'm not being frightened.
25:58LAUGHTER
25:58You got snogs, OK.
26:01Rob?
26:01I got five.
26:02Guess.
26:04Yep.
26:05Yes.
26:06Pretty good.
26:07APPLAUSE
26:08I'm going to have to drop you home.
26:09LAUGHTER
26:18Oh
26:26Five points to both teams
26:34Nice little Christmas Drive good. That's fine
26:42The Bipolar Express
26:50Katie Susie negusses what negusses negusses yes
26:55They are hot toddies hot drinks port sugar lemon and spice perfect for Christmas named after Colonel Francis neguss who
27:02created it
27:03So at the end of that Rob and Judy have 12 points. I John and Daisy have 19
27:13Well, it says here now it's time for John and Judy to go head-to-head in the maths, but
27:17is there any point of that should we just
27:21Judy your turn to pick the numbers three small and three big numbers
27:25Three and three we've got we've got balance here. We go. We've got ten five three
27:3275 150 and the target
27:35957 your time starts now
27:38The clock is turning me up
27:50Help me. What's your name?
28:09Okay, so the target was nine five seven John. Did you get it? I think I got nine five three
28:15Judy did you get it? Yeah, Rachel take it easy. Judy's got this
28:20What did you do on the board?
28:25Rachel right now
28:34Can I just make sure that Judy can't see Rachel's clipboard just because I think they've probably both got it.
28:39Oh, you're a petty petty man
28:41I just
28:42Make sure that Judy doesn't see the answers because I would like to have the seven points
28:48Because I know the rules. Fuck off
28:52Now it feels like Christmas
28:55I did 10 times
28:5975 yeah, which is 750
29:04five and an eight and three
29:08Hold on and I added a hundred that makes what eight
29:1470 no 50
29:16Hold on
29:18No, two times frifty
29:23That made nine seven five and then I took the eight away and then I took away the ten
29:33957
29:38Numbers there's numbers. I used the numbers. Well, there isn't a two up there. Yeah, where was there two? Who
29:43said anything about two?
29:4550 times two. I don't know where you might you need to sort your maths out, babes
29:51What did you get again? 953 go on how'd you do it for seven points? 100 minus five
29:5895 times 10
30:00950 that's three nine five three seven points
30:03I know how I've got 920 wait hold on no
30:10No, happy new year
30:14Yes
30:21Rachel could have be done if you say 75 plus five is 80
30:26100 over 50 is 2 and it's 10 for 12 ties them together for 960 and take away the three
30:34there you go
30:35I see
30:41Okay time now to go across to dictionary corner katie. What have you got for us?
30:46Well, Jimmy, I'm a female comedian. So men are terrified of me. I don't know why
30:50You know all I'm thinking when I meet a shy introverted man in his mid-30s is speak up you
30:55little simp
30:57What do you mean you don't know how to drive?
31:00Do you drive?
31:02I'm driven
31:10So i'm actually uh i'm taking a short break from dating at the moment to focus on my career as
31:14a godmother
31:15I love being a godmother because you don't just spread your legs and become a godmother. Do you?
31:20You're chosen
31:24Right, I think i'm gonna sing now
31:31Now countdown
31:33Where would anybody want to become a godmother?
31:35Well, I'll tell you darlings. It's the power. It's the prestige
31:38Come with me to the bottom of the garden. Let's go see the toads
31:44Each of them used to be my boyfriend. What is one of those?
31:49A suitor, a sweetheart, a fellow or a fellow. Just make sure they're not a DJ of the techno. What's
31:55a DJ?
31:56A boy who cannot love. Now may I introduce you to Geordie
32:00This toad is simon. His pits were always smelly. Little jason hill I took come upon my belly
32:06Racist, sexist, creepy and dry. Poor charlie had a chode and this one's just a regular toad
32:11I'm your godmother now. Listen to my tales. Eat my wordy warnings. My magic never fails
32:16God mummy katie biddle diddle dom. I am brilliant amazing woman
32:22Then why aren't you married auntie katie?
32:38Oh, thank you. So I did sing that to my godson jasper who's five
32:43Um and he looked up at me and he said katie do you have friends?
32:48He said yeah jasper i've got loads of friends because i don't have any children
32:57Thank you guys everyone
33:00Okay, so uh rob and judy have 12 points uh john and daisy have 26
33:04Well done
33:08And here is your teaser the words are elf's tits the clue is which way are they leaning?
33:14That's elf's tits which way are they leaning see after the break
33:34Welcome back the answer to the tease the words were elf's tits the clue was which way are they leaning
33:38it was of course leftists
33:40Okay, before we go on he's not on the show tonight, but he's turned up anyway. It's joe wilkinson
33:46Thank you
34:09Right jimmy
34:11Just bought some egg milk because i love egg milk
34:16What? Merry christmas?
34:20Oh, what's?
34:21Uh joe, uh
34:24Paul
34:26Joe
34:28Although although it can make my head swell up
34:33Basically i'll be honest i'm eggnog intolerant
34:38But it's christmas so you can't not have eggnog can you
34:43You want to look quite a lot of eggnog there fabi edge boy bring it on a bit more eggnog
34:47That eggnog
35:01Thank you, mate
35:09Joe what's going on oh you wondering why um fabio brings his eggnog in his motorcycle sidecar
35:17Yeah, it's because he's a fucking idiot
35:20Yeah
35:20Because he's a fucking idiot
35:27What's what's happening oh john's upset oh right yeah i know it's john's upset oh that's going on
35:33You can sense when someone thinks they can drink more eggnog than me
35:41It's his gift well
35:45John reckon you reckon you can drink more eggnog than me well all right let's let's put your money where
35:49your mouth in
35:49Let's play a little game i like to call can you drink more eggnog than me
36:05It's a simple game john it's to see if you can drink more eggnog than me
36:12When you're ready jimmy gentlemen your time starts now
36:19I can feel the boils swelling up on the back of my head hold on i can feel i can
36:24feel the boils swelling up on the back of my head that is not good
36:27Come on john it's gritty it's gritty it's definitely
36:30John you haven't even done the first one
36:31Come on john
36:38John come on
36:41Don't let me slow you down john
36:42Yeah i think
36:44It's passing that this is a very expensive suit
36:52There's some puss in the eggnog there's some puss in the eggnog
36:56There is i'm going to warn you there's puss in the eggnog there's puss in my hair
37:00Do you know what to be fair to john there is some puss in the eggnog
37:07Do you know what let's call it a draw there's puss in the eggnog we'll play
37:10Let's play countdown
37:20Okay on with the game we were playing countdown before whatever the fuck that was
37:26Rob and judy your turn to choose right here we go
37:29Are you doing it joe yeah can i get two vowels please
37:36Absolutely thank you jesus i and e all right yes please yeah three consonants three consonants seems
37:43Too many p m w or an h ph after what's one of them four or three of them yeah
37:52three of them please yeah that could be m's or w's it's up to you
37:55i like it with rachel does it
37:58That could be one of those where's the p you had a p earlier where's the p gone where's the
38:03p it's absolutely none of your fucking business
38:07Write down your shit and i'll do mine
38:11Can i just confirm what we've got there can you read those letters to me e umla ouch
38:20A vowel please a vowel are we not having the p then
38:24He's gone he's gone wrong he's gone wrong that's all right okay
38:28What's that one another bloody window
38:32Okay your time starts now
38:36Don't know how to spell it or subtract it
39:04Oh
39:05Rob how many
39:054 4 judy how many 4 home is my fall
39:11John how many
39:12Five oh
39:13Okay daisy
39:15Five if that's definitely a w
39:18Okay no
39:19C-o-m-e come as in all you faithful
39:22All right, John, your five?
39:24Chime.
39:26Chime? Oh, and Christmassy.
39:29Daisy, your five?
39:30I got hole.
39:32You got one?
39:33Hole. Can you stop trying to seduce me?
39:38Hole with a W.
39:40With an L?
39:41Oh, well, what's that, then?
39:43Oh, gosh, now I got nothing.
39:46I'm afraid at Christmas there's no L.
39:50John Richardson.
39:55Five points to John and Daisy.
39:59Tough round.
40:01Katie, Susie, could they have done any better?
40:03Just fives.
40:04Could have had homie.
40:06John and Daisy are in the lead with 31 points.
40:13And here is your final teaser.
40:15The words are elf sex ad and the clue is it's very good for you.
40:19That's elf sex ad, it's very good for you.
40:22See you after the break.
40:24APPLAUSE
40:39Welcome back. The answer to the teaser.
40:40The words were elf sex ad, the clue was it's very good for you.
40:44It was, of course, flaxseed.
40:46OK, before we go on, as it's Christmas, let's play a quick game.
40:49I'll read out the first line of some classic Christmas cracker jokes.
40:52All you have to do is buzz in when you think you know the punchline.
40:55Could not be simpler. Five bonus points up on offer.
40:58So, let's play Pull My Cracker.
41:05Annoyingly, it does that when I say Pull My Cracker.
41:12Probably best if no-one says it.
41:14Pull My.
41:15Cracker!
41:23OK, what comes at the end of Christmas Day?
41:28Father Christmas.
41:30And boys, er...
41:33Boxing Day.
41:35Any other guesses?
41:37Letter Y.
41:38That's the right boring answer.
41:40Yeah.
41:45Why don't you ever see Father Christmas in hospital?
41:49Because he doesn't believe in Western medicine.
41:55That is the right... Yeah, that's the right answer.
41:58Yeah.
42:00Cos he's in good health.
42:01Yeah, I'll give you that.
42:03Nice.
42:07Christmas.
42:08What is white and minty?
42:11My ass.
42:12Jimmy Carpenter.
42:18Sorry, Judy.
42:19Judy?
42:20I was just going to say Jimmy.
42:22White and minty?
42:23Yeah.
42:24Yeah, that's exactly how I imagine him tasting.
42:30As your son.
42:46A polo bear?
42:47A polo bear?
42:48A polo bear is the right answer.
42:49Oh.
42:50Yeah.
42:50OK, John got the most right, so John gets the points.
42:53Oh.
42:54For Pete's sake.
42:55Oh, my God.
42:58OK.
42:59Time for our final letters game.
43:01John, Daisy, your turn to choose.
43:03You're welcome to choose, but if you're just going to do that three vowels, five consonants shit, I might do
43:06it myself.
43:07Can you do it, yeah.
43:08Can we have four vowels and five consonants, please?
43:11It's got A, O, E, U, D, T, B, L, and D.
43:18And a bonus T.
43:22OK, and your time starts now.
43:26Oh, the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful.
43:34And since we've no place to go, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
43:40Oh, the fire is slowly dying, and my dear, we're still good-bye.
43:47Oh, God.
43:48It's quiet.
43:49It's quiet.
43:50It's quiet.
43:51Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.
43:55Pull up in a nightclub in Essex.
44:05Oh, God.
44:07Daisy, how many?
44:08Four.
44:09Four.
44:10OK, John, how many?
44:12Seven.
44:13How many, Rob?
44:14Five.
44:14Five.
44:15Judy?
44:16Five.
44:17You're four, Daisy?
44:18Lube.
44:21Rob, you're five.
44:22Tubed.
44:27It's been tubed.
44:28Is that good?
44:29Yes.
44:30Yes.
44:31Judy, you're five.
44:32Adult.
44:33Adult.
44:34John for the seventh.
44:36Uh, doubled.
44:37Whoa.
44:39Oh, my God.
44:40Seven points to John.
44:42I've got to get Jimmy.
44:43I've got to get Jimmy.
44:44I've got to get Jimmy.
44:45One, a count of three.
44:46One, two, three.
44:47Hail Jimmy!
44:53Um, Katie, could they have done any better?
44:55Yeah, they could have had buttload for eight.
44:57Dead point.
44:58Is that a real word?
44:59Buttload.
45:00It is now.
45:03OK, so Rob and Judy have 12 points, John and Daisy have 43.
45:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:12Now, as it's Christmas, you know we always do this on the show, yeah?
45:15Yeah.
45:16The conundrum at Christmas is worth 32 points.
45:19Yes!
45:19That's always been the tradition on this show.
45:22So, for 32 points, here's today's crucial Christmas Countdown Conundrum.
45:38Oh, great, well, I'm sorry.
45:40LAUGHTER
45:41It's right there.
45:45R, E.
45:47Come on, it's right there.
45:48You can see it.
45:49I can see it, but I can't say it.
45:52They go round and round.
45:54Carousels.
45:55Merry Cycles.
45:55Sorry, sorry.
45:57Merry Cycles.
45:57Come on.
45:58It goes round and round.
46:00Come on.
46:01Come on.
46:04Carousels.
46:05Carousels.
46:12Merry Christmas.
46:18So, the final scores are, John and Daisy have 43 points, well done,
46:23which means our winners, Rob and Judy, with 44 points.
46:27It's a Christmas miracle.
46:31Congratulations, you're now the proud owner of this,
46:33the Countdown, Elf Upon a Mantlepiece.
46:41Thanks to all our panelists, our wonderful studio audiences,
46:44for all of you for watching at home.
46:45That's it from us.
46:46Good night and Merry Christmas.
46:47Happy Christmas.
46:48Thank you, guys.
46:50Thank you, guys.
46:51Thank you, God.
46:51Let's go.
46:57Thank you for the opportunity.
47:16We'll be right back a little bit.
47:17You're so nervous.
47:17Give me another chance.
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