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  • 3 hours ago
My Dad Is Poseidon πŸ’• πŸ’• πŸ’•
Transcript
00:12Slow-ass sea slug! Your launch today, Beach!
00:33Slow-ass sea slug!
00:37Slow-ass sea slug!
00:40Slow-ass sea slug!
01:00Filthy scavengers!
01:02When Lord Poseidon ruled the Deep, you Skyrats swore never to breach the surface!
01:09Poseidon?
01:10Fish food ages ago.
01:12хотя yes...
01:17Let's see them.
01:19Drop!
01:19lebinum steel
01:22Beep mousin
01:24Sweep mousin
01:32Let's call me, Zusa!
01:39Beep mousin
01:41I'm retired. Don't bring that crap to my door.
01:48Sire!
02:04Who the hell broke my new console?
02:06I'm gonna go deal with that bastard!
02:09Sire! You're finally stepping in!
02:25Go fight somewhere else. Don't block me from clearing my game.
02:28My king!
02:30Even Poseidon himself would still be fit to shine my boots!
02:54What did you do? Turn me back right now!
03:02Sire! The entire Abyssal Realm awaits your command. Lead us against Olympus! We beg you!
03:08Zeus' brain's probably been eaten out by Chlamydia for years. I'm retired. I don't waste breath on crazy people.
03:20Screw power struggles. Rotting in bed playing games is the real way to live.
03:30Fight!
03:31Fight!
03:37Get your hands off me, creep!
03:39Sorry! I didn't mean to-
03:45Wait. Pointy ears. A dryage? What's a forest nintz doing here?
03:54He's just a regular human. A total nerd. Dammit. The Aphrodasian's kicking in.
04:09You're burning up down here. Way harder than I pictured.
04:14I was drugged. This whole thing is Dylan's sick setup. If I don't mate someone before the timer runs out,
04:21I die. I really need this guy.
04:29Goddamn. You really know how to flip my switch.
04:40I need more. A lot more.
04:50Don't stop. Harder.
04:53Squeeze me tight.
04:57Squeeze me tight.
05:01What the hell did you do to me last night?
05:04Ugh.
05:05Hey. I put in a lot of work. Don't tell me you forgot.
05:09Leora! I know you're in there! Nowhere left to run!
05:14Dammit. He tracked me.
05:28Leora. You're my fiancΓ©. You belong with me. Come home.
05:33Get away! Dylan!
05:37As the leader of the Sacher, you actually drugged me.
05:44Why the fuck are you wearing some dude's shirt? You slept with someone?
05:50WHO SCREWED UP MY PLAN?!
05:54Oh, so you're the genius who roofed her. Newsflash, tough guy. Real men don't need tricks.
06:00You talking to the boss like that, punk?!
06:08So you're the loser who ruined everything? You actually fucked this beach bomb shut in?!
06:20Touch him again and you'll regret it!
06:22Her body's tainted now, but her blood still has value. Can't push too hard yet.
06:28I won't kill him.
06:31But you're coming with me, Leora.
06:34Babe, if you don't want to go, I can handle this clown.
06:43Forget today ever happened. Go back to your life.
06:59Seriously? Can't I just play my game for once?
07:12Those assholes are back already.
07:14What are you talking about?!
07:21Hey, Pencil Neck! I'm Dylan's top enforcer.
07:24Either get the hell out of this water, or kneel and call me daddy.
07:28Dylan who? Speak up, man. My ears are shot.
07:31Keep acting tough! Jax can stomp boulders to dust!
07:34Even Nereus' sea folk give him a wide burn!
07:49You asked for this.
08:03You one-shotted pants top an orcer?! Who the hell are you?!
08:23It's too late, boss. Her heartbeat's fading fast.
08:35It's too late, boss. Her heartbeat's fading fast.
08:42Somebody help me!
08:44Somebody help me!
08:55Give me a name, Leora. Who did this?
08:58I'm going to tear them apart.
09:02I'm going to tear them apart.
09:02It was...
09:24Your father sold you to me a long time ago. You're my fiancΓ©. My property. You filthy whore.
09:30Spread your legs for some stray dog!
09:36But at least your bloodline is still worth something.
09:43No! Let go!
09:47With nymph blood in my veins, even Olympus will bow to me.
09:59I got careless. Diving near a shipwreck. My fault.
10:04Shipwreck?
10:05Those cuts are surgical, Leora. Someone did this to you.
10:12You're just a regular guy. Stay out of it.
10:15Boss, soup's ready.
10:23If I don't make it, promise me you'll take care of Lily. She's all we have left.
10:31She's safe. Now drink.
10:35Soup isn't going to fix this, Jack.
10:43Jack, you...
10:46Ambrosia residue? Golden applesap? I studied this in grad's time.
10:51Greek meth said it could raise the dead for mortals. Where the hell did you get this?
10:57More. Try it.
11:08These ingredients, where did you get them?
11:16It's my first time meeting Daddy. I gotta find the prettiest shell for him.
11:44What a lively little snack.
11:47Gulp you down and my power doubles!
11:58I just fished this stuff out of the bay. You want more?
12:01I've got a ton of it laying around.
12:03This guy's luck is insane.
12:07A random mortal just happens to have relics of the old gods?
12:12Is this coast a secret Olympian vault?
12:15You're safe here, Liria.
12:20We've got a kid together now.
12:22I'm not letting anything touch.
12:25You or Lily.
12:27Jack, I'm grateful, but I...
12:29Daddy! Help!
12:33Something's trying to eat me!
12:36Lily's in trouble!
12:43I... I'm not tasty.
12:46My mommy and daddy are super strong.
12:49Please don't eat me!
12:50Please?
12:54Divine power runs through this girl.
12:57Devour you.
12:59And I might even claim the Sea King's Throne.
13:04Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
13:06Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
13:09Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!
13:18Ho ho ho ho ho ho!
13:19Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho!
13:22Oh my god.
13:26Oh my god!
13:29Mackey!
13:29Hmph!
13:29Make good job!
13:31Oh my god!
13:32Of course!
13:34You're well done!
13:35I'll be social media!
13:35Ahhhhh!
13:35You disgusting freak!
13:38What do you think you're doing to my daughter?
13:40Mommy!
13:42I've got you, baby.
13:45Touch my kid again, and I'll rip her head off your shoulders!
13:50Ha! You ruined my meal?
13:55Wait. The baby mama herself. Perfect.
14:00Perfect. Two courses for the price of one!
14:13You bitch!
14:19Jack, take Lily and run. Go!
14:26Run from the Lycian Hydro, you pathetic little insects.
14:38You... Posei?
14:40That kid's his. No wonder the power's so pure.
14:45That's Poseidon's bloodline. If I stay, I'm dead.
14:55What the hell just happened? It ran?
14:58Damn, Leoya. Your powers are badass. You straight up scared the monster off.
15:04Me? No way. Even at full strength, I couldn't take that thing. I'm still recovering.
15:10Wait. Maybe it sensed the guardian of this sea vault?
15:16Whatever. Let's get home. That thing might circle back.
15:23About that monster.
15:28Failed at the perfect time? Figures. He's just a regular guy, after all.
15:40Failed at the perfect time.
15:46There's a little delay here.
15:48Here we go.
15:49Bye.
15:49Bye.
15:52Bye.
15:54Bye.
15:56Bye.
15:59Bye.
16:14My liege
16:15Have mercy
16:16I didn't know she was your daughter
16:17I swear it
16:18Please spare my life
16:20No problem
16:21Thank you my lord
16:22Thank you for your mercy
16:23Try to remember that in your next life
16:38Enjoying the show
16:49My king
16:50We had nothing to do with the Hydra
16:52We swear
16:52Listen to me
16:53If any of you take one step near my daughter again
16:57I will skin you alive
17:00Now
17:00Get the fuck out of my sight
17:02Yes
17:03Yes my liege
17:15My love
17:17Since you refused to tell me who did this to you
17:19I'll just have to dig up the truth myself
17:30That wild god
17:31Pan's always pulling power grabs
17:33But Poseidon
17:35Guy's long gone
17:36Probably fish food in some trench
17:38Right?
17:39Sea god myth
17:40Ancient history
17:41Wanna bet?
17:42There ain't no sea king anymore
17:55The world's the same as ever
17:57The dead are louder than the living
18:00Who the hell are you?
18:01You're in Hades territory, asshole
18:15Poseidon?
18:16Poseidon?
18:25Is Hades still breathing?
18:27If he is
18:28Tell him to get his ass out here
18:34Who the fuck is tearing up my domain?
18:41I don't have time for this. I'm not wasting it on you. I need a background check.
18:50You know who I am? Hades' ace. You crash my spot, you die here!
19:10I don't know who I am.
19:19Little fish.
19:27Headed staff? One shot?
19:30The Sea King, he's real.
19:34Hades, you hiding? Come out, or this whole place turns into driftwood.
19:42One, two.
19:47Thank the fates, the boss is here.
19:54Boss, this bum.
20:02You idiot. Piss off the Lord of the Oceans and we all drown. You're done. Get out.
20:07In front of Poseidon, you're ants. I'm saving your worthless heights.
20:17My lord, is this handling satisfactory?
20:20I'm not here for fun. Dig up everything on that Leora and her daughter.
20:28Understood. I'll mobilize every team right now.
20:31You have three days. I'll be back.
20:37Everyone, drop what you're doing. Full sweep on the Leora and Child.
20:42Every resource, every contact. Now, tell them Poseidon's back.
20:46Yes, boss!
20:53Poseidon's back. Let's hope this time he doesn't flood the place just to make a point.
21:05Dylan wants the woman dead.
21:07Kid comes with us alive. She's still hurt.
21:10Easy pickets.
21:11Let's move.
21:23We'll make a nice stew. Surprise daddy for lunch?
21:27Ha ha ha ha ha!
21:32Ha ha ha ha!
21:34A forest nymph playing happy home mater? Pathetic.
21:40Who are you?
21:42Dylan's orders. Come quietly to the stronghold.
21:46Or I drag your corpse back.
21:49Mommy? Who's the ugly goat man?
21:53Hand over the kid!
22:02Stay away from my daughter! Don't you dare touch her!
22:21Mommy, you're bleeding!
22:23This forest is locked down.
22:26Surrender now.
22:27I'll go with you.
22:29On one condition.
22:31Let my daughter go!
22:32No! No, Mommy! I'm not leaving you!
22:46Kid's mine.
22:47You die.
22:51You poisoned me?
22:55My poison fog.
22:57The more you fight, the faster it rots you from the inside.
23:01Give up!
23:03You've gone too far.
23:04Even if I die today, I'm not letting you win.
23:10You're wounded.
23:12Poisoned.
23:14Done.
23:15The kid's coming with me.
23:19Don't touch her!
23:20Come at me!
23:22Feisty one.
23:24Dylan wants you dead.
23:25But first, I'm gonna have some fun.
23:35Such a pretty face.
23:37All mine now.
23:41Let my mommy go, you bastard!
23:51Lily!
23:52Lily!
23:53Run!
23:54Get out of here!
23:58Serve me well, and I might let her run a little longer.
24:09Lily!
24:30You touch my woman, you're a dead man.
24:39Jack.
24:41What the hell just happened?
24:45You okay, babe?
24:48So you're the boyfriend.
24:49Too bad.
24:50I'll snap every bone in your body with one hand.
25:09Jack, keep Lily safe.
25:11Long as I'm here, you don't lose.
25:13Shut up and go!
25:15Now!
25:27If I pull this vine, the whole cliff goes with us, demon.
25:32Run all you want!
25:33My pack tears you both apart!
25:35Rot in your body and death!
25:44Roanning.
25:48No!
25:52I've got them all by way!
25:57I've got the piece of unconqueror!
25:57Put them all by way!
26:01I've got them to play!
26:01Let's all see!
26:01I've got their people!
26:02There's no one hun miroon!
26:04I've got them!
26:25Daddy, don't leave Mommy. I don't want to lose her.
26:29Shh, Lily, don't cry. Daddy promises Mommy's going to be okay. We're going back for her right now.
26:41Hand over the kid. I'll make your death quick.
26:52Lily, turn around and cover your ears, okay? Daddy's going to do a little magic trick.
27:00Okay.
27:04You are the best.
27:13Some nobody dare stare me down? You're asking to die.
27:20You're not human. Who the hell are you?
27:23My daughter's here, so I'm keeping it clean. Disappear.
27:45Okay, Lily. You can turn around now.
27:51Daddy? What happened to the bad guy?
27:55He got so dazzled by how cute you are, he just passed out.
28:04Lily, stay right here inside this circle. Don't move. Daddy's going to help Mommy beat the bad guys. I'll be
28:10right back.
28:15Daddy, be careful.
28:18Don't worry, Lily. No one's ever beaten your dad.
28:28That poison's eaten you alive, little nymph.
28:30How much longer you got? Let me have my fun first.
28:35So what? I'll drag you to hell with me before I die.
28:50Damn. You take a hit well. Let's enjoy this body. Then I'll turn you into my eternal trophy.
28:58For Jack and Lily, even if I die, I'm taking this beast down with me.
29:05No signal? You trying to hog the glory?
29:08More coming. Killing one won't save Jack and Lily. No choice. I'm taking them down with me.
29:14This the woman Dylan wants? Where the kid?
29:17Some guy took the brat.
29:19Huh. Useless. Grab her first, then we hunt the child.
29:27Just let Jack and Lily be safe.
29:33You all want to come at once? Then die together. Pick your graves.
29:49Why did you come back? Where's Lily?
29:55Lily's safe. Don't push yourself.
30:00So this is the woman's secret lover. Her taste is trash.
30:05Beg now. And maybe I'll leave your corpses in one piece.
30:10Refuse, and you'll be screaming. End it fast.
30:16You? In our eyes, you're not even an enemy. Just weeds to be crushed under feet.
30:23Just hold on a little longer. Jack means more to me than anything. I won't let him get hurt.
30:38You want my husband? Step over my corpse first!
30:43In a hurry to die? Fine! I'll oblige!
31:15You're half dead already!
31:17How the hell did you knock me back?
31:19The sea is sinking. Those are Poseidon's warriors.
31:24This can't be.
31:50Ancient Ekethra! The coastal legend monster? Why would she be here?
31:57Ha ha ha! Our boss has real backing! He summoned three of Poseidon's elite guards!
32:03No matter how strong you are, kneel and beg!
32:07They're coming for us. We're finished.
32:10Don't worry, darling. Things might turn around.
32:12Lyra Vale has been captured.
32:15Now we await the Sea King's warriors to execute this peasant.
32:20They're here for me! Jack, stay behind me!
32:24With me here, no one touches you.
32:26Stop saying that, Jack! Look around! We're surrounded! We could actually die here!
32:36My lords! Let me teach this adulterous couple a lesson!
32:43You worthless creature!
32:46You shouldn't even exist where I stand!
32:56Who dares show such insolence before the Lord of the Sea?
33:02You shouldn't be.
33:05You shouldn't be.
33:06You shouldn't be.
33:08You shouldn't be.
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