- 15 hours ago
First broadcast 29th December 2017.
Capt. Robert Daly presides over his crew with wisdom and courage. But a new recruit will soon discover nothing on this spaceship is what it seems.
Jesse Plemons - Robert Daly
Cristin Milioti - Nanette Cole
Jimmi Simpson - Walton
Michaela Coel - Shania
Billy Magnussen - Valdack
Milanka Brooks - Elena Tulaska
Osy Ikhile - Nate Packer
Paul G. Raymond - Kabir Dudani
Hammed Animashaun - Pizza Guy
Tom Mulheron - Tommy
Aaron Paul - Gamer691 (voice)
Kirsten Dunst - Callister Employee
Alya Elouissi - Callister Employee (VR Tester)
Matt Lim - Pizza Guy #1
Capt. Robert Daly presides over his crew with wisdom and courage. But a new recruit will soon discover nothing on this spaceship is what it seems.
Jesse Plemons - Robert Daly
Cristin Milioti - Nanette Cole
Jimmi Simpson - Walton
Michaela Coel - Shania
Billy Magnussen - Valdack
Milanka Brooks - Elena Tulaska
Osy Ikhile - Nate Packer
Paul G. Raymond - Kabir Dudani
Hammed Animashaun - Pizza Guy
Tom Mulheron - Tommy
Aaron Paul - Gamer691 (voice)
Kirsten Dunst - Callister Employee
Alya Elouissi - Callister Employee (VR Tester)
Matt Lim - Pizza Guy #1
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00:10Captain Daly?
00:00:11Orton.
00:00:12It's a non-federation vessel.
00:00:13Jump straight out of white space.
00:00:14Right in front of us.
00:00:17Valdac.
00:00:18That can't be.
00:00:19My data scan indicates a heavily armored Gorgon dreadnought.
00:00:21Vessel ID number 9864321.
00:00:23Thank you, Dodani.
00:00:24Valdac must have hijacked it from the Fermi hub and tracked our position.
00:00:30Jalaska, shield status?
00:00:31Shields, 100%.
00:00:32Helmsman Packer.
00:00:33Captain.
00:00:34Prime rear thrusters.
00:00:35Rear thrusters prime.
00:00:36If that's valid, he'll rip us to shreds.
00:00:38Captain, we have to surrender.
00:00:39There's no other way.
00:00:40Let's not lose our heads, Lieutenant Walter.
00:00:46Shields at 68%.
00:00:48Heavy damage reported, decks 6 through 10.
00:00:50Fires in Medcentre and major rupture of Chicago Bay Alpha.
00:00:52We've got no choice, Captain.
00:00:53Do you want me to open comms with Valdac's craft, Captain?
00:00:56Negative.
00:00:59Shields at 54%.
00:01:01There's no way out.
00:01:03Captain, please.
00:01:04Not now, Walter.
00:01:06Helmsman Packer, take us into that asteroid gas cluster.
00:01:10Into the cluster?
00:01:11That's suicide, sir.
00:01:12It is our only chance.
00:01:14That gas cluster is charged with ionized pyron particles.
00:01:17If our shields hold, we can use them to increase our photon intensity.
00:01:21Packer, increase thrusters.
00:01:25Shields at 43%.
00:01:27It'll tear the ship apart, Captain.
00:01:29Walton, you are a space fleet officer.
00:01:31Act accordingly.
00:01:32Shields at 32%.
00:01:33Valdac's not following me.
00:01:34Packer, turn us around.
00:01:39Valdac charged photon bolts.
00:01:41Bolts charged, Captain.
00:01:50Fire.
00:01:54His hull's breached.
00:01:56Shields gone.
00:01:57He's defenseless.
00:01:59Lieutenant Lauer, open comms.
00:02:00He's already hailing us, Captain.
00:02:01On screen.
00:02:03Captain Daly, may you drown in the venom of 900 Taurian snakes.
00:02:08You are defeated, Valdac.
00:02:10Return the plasmorthium crystals and we'll cause you no more damage.
00:02:13You must make me a fool, Captain.
00:02:15I know the crystal's capabilities and I will die before I give it up.
00:02:20I gave you a chance, Valdac.
00:02:22Showed you mercy.
00:02:24Reflect on that while you can.
00:02:26Close, Captain.
00:02:29Alaska destroyed the ship.
00:02:30Yes, Captain.
00:02:37That was incredible, Captain.
00:02:39You saved our lives.
00:02:41I'm so sorry I lost it back there, Captain.
00:02:43Not for the first time, Walton.
00:02:45I should know by now, never to doubt you.
00:02:47Please, forgive me.
00:02:50At ease, Walton.
00:02:51Captain, sensors indicate an escape pod ejected from Valdac's ship before detonation.
00:02:56He's escaping with the crystal.
00:02:58You want me to plot up a suit course, Captain?
00:03:01No.
00:03:03We'll let him go.
00:03:06For now.
00:03:08It's great decision-making, Captain.
00:03:10Three cheers, Captain Daly.
00:03:13Hip, hip.
00:03:14Hooray!
00:03:15Hip, hip.
00:03:15Hooray!
00:03:17Hip, hip.
00:03:18Hooray!
00:03:18For he's a jolly good fellow.
00:03:21For he's a jolly good fellow.
00:03:23For he's a jolly good fellow.
00:03:28So stay all of us.
00:03:31God bless you, Captain.
00:03:32God bless you.
00:03:43Thirteenth floor.
00:03:44Welcome to Callister.
00:03:46Excuse me.
00:03:48Excuse me.
00:03:50Excuse me.
00:03:55Hey.
00:04:10Uh, Elena?
00:04:11My pass doesn't work.
00:04:13You must earn you on first of each month.
00:04:14Yeah, I know that, but, uh, the first was on the weekend, so...
00:04:21Okay.
00:04:28You're welcome.
00:04:37Good morning, Mr. Daly.
00:04:39My name's Ben Pracker.
00:04:40Huh?
00:04:42Uh, I mean, Mr. Pracker.
00:04:44Nate.
00:04:46Okay.
00:04:48Are you making coffees?
00:04:50Yeah.
00:04:53Do you think maybe you could make me one, too?
00:04:59Sure, sure.
00:05:00Uh, what do you want?
00:05:02Just vanilla latte.
00:05:04Skim milk.
00:05:05Yeah, good call.
00:05:11It's...
00:05:12Very, very big numbers, and we might just have to hold you to that.
00:05:15Well, no, yes, of course.
00:05:17Show me how you...
00:05:20Oh, are you okay, man?
00:05:23I guess you didn't see my gym bag.
00:05:26Yeah, come on.
00:05:28Get up.
00:05:29I'm sorry, bud.
00:05:30Okay, left to...
00:05:31Oof.
00:05:36You're gonna do it for me, and you're gonna make it good.
00:05:38You know, you are a god to me, at least.
00:06:00Oh, the lady's bathroom is that way.
00:06:03This line's kind of confusing.
00:06:06You're Robert Daly, right?
00:06:11Right.
00:06:12Yeah, hi.
00:06:14I'm Nanette, Nanette Cole.
00:06:17Um, I started here today, coding on the update,
00:06:20and I-I just wanted to, uh, pass on my admiration to the person who actually designed Infinity.
00:06:28The procedural algorithm is-is amazing.
00:06:31It's just some beautiful code.
00:06:37That's actually the reason that I wanted to work here.
00:06:43You must be busy.
00:06:44I'm so sorry.
00:06:45No, no, it's-it's fine.
00:06:47Sorry.
00:06:47No.
00:06:48Uh, well, just fangirling.
00:06:50Sorry.
00:06:50Um, oh, ooh, vintage.
00:06:56Yeah, it's Space Fleet.
00:06:58Wow.
00:06:59It's a TV show.
00:07:01Before your time.
00:07:03Before my time, actually.
00:07:05But it was visionary.
00:07:10Is this on, like, tape?
00:07:11Yeah, we've got the VHS, the DVD, Blu-ray, the whole thing.
00:07:17Seasons one to six.
00:07:18Netflix has it these days.
00:07:21Aboard the spaceship USS Callister.
00:07:24Okay.
00:07:25Yeah.
00:07:26So, okay.
00:07:26So, Callister is, like, the, uh...
00:07:28Yeah, when-when we set up the company,
00:07:31um, I suggested that we call it Callister.
00:07:35It's kind of a little tribute.
00:07:38Walton didn't really get the reference, but he-let me have that one.
00:07:47Mini-skirted damsels.
00:07:51A little cold for that in space.
00:07:53That is just what a bar gradient sand warrior would say.
00:07:59Bob, Christmas is closing in like a goddamn meteor.
00:08:03We've got customers all over our balls waiting for the Infinity update.
00:08:06Tell me it's gonna be up and running before the weekend.
00:08:08I'll-I'll ask Kabir...
00:08:11Your CTO, don't ask anybody anything.
00:08:12You should be telling people things like I'm fucking telling you right now.
00:08:14I'll-I'll talk to him.
00:08:16Good.
00:08:17I'm sorry.
00:08:17Okay.
00:08:19Hello?
00:08:20Hello.
00:08:20Sorry, I couldn't find a good moment to...
00:08:22No, you must be new.
00:08:24Uh, I'm James Walton.
00:08:25I run the company.
00:08:26I...
00:08:26Well, we run the company.
00:08:27Kind of.
00:08:29Bob here is the-the hardware, and I am the shiny front end.
00:08:32I'm Nanette Cole.
00:08:34Which department?
00:08:35Engine architecture.
00:08:36Uh, it's your first day?
00:08:38Uh, yeah.
00:08:39Yeah.
00:08:40Have you had the tour?
00:08:42No, I...
00:08:43Please, allow me.
00:08:47Okay.
00:08:51It was so nice to meet you.
00:08:54Yeah.
00:09:11Dude, Donnie?
00:09:15Kabir?
00:09:16Mmm.
00:09:17Mr. Daly.
00:09:18Do you have the latest CTA on the update patch?
00:09:22It's just there's still some runtime errors.
00:09:24Well, the thing is, Mr. Daly, we could have it ready to be on the play today, but if we
00:09:27had time, we could alter the training mechanics, tweak the critical hit system, but of course, that'd add another week,
00:09:34maybe ten days or so.
00:09:38Mr. Daly.
00:09:41Yeah.
00:09:42Yeah, do all of that.
00:09:45Okay, we're on it.
00:10:03Okay, we're on it.
00:10:49Okay, let's go.
00:11:10Welcome back, Captain.
00:11:11Have you located Valdak's position?
00:11:14Not yet, but our sensors are scanning every star system
00:11:16between here and Valetroids.
00:11:18So your answer is no.
00:11:25I'm afraid so, sir.
00:11:34You are pathetic, Walter.
00:11:36What are you?
00:11:40What's that?
00:11:44Pathetic!
00:11:53So Valdak's out there somewhere and you village idiots are sleep at the wheel.
00:12:02You're not just disgraceful, you're disgusting, all of you.
00:12:05So can you do one thing?
00:12:11Can you find Valdak?
00:12:17I'm not asking, I'm telling you!
00:12:20Understand?
00:12:21Hmm?
00:12:22Yes!
00:12:23Yes?
00:12:24Yes, sir.
00:12:24Yes!
00:12:26Yes.
00:12:26All right, Captain.
00:12:35So ask a check security protocols.
00:12:38If they've expired, you're in trouble.
00:12:40Yes, Captain.
00:12:42Valdak, recheck those probe results.
00:12:45No room for errors.
00:12:46Of course, Captain.
00:12:47Helmsman Packer.
00:12:48Captain.
00:12:49Vanilla Latte.
00:12:52Skim milk.
00:12:54At once.
00:12:58Walton.
00:13:13Exit game.
00:13:34All right.
00:13:35Lynette.
00:13:36Yeah, do you feel like you have everything you need?
00:13:38Mm-hmm.
00:13:40That's a nice part.
00:13:41Oh, thank you.
00:13:47Mr. Daly.
00:13:48Got that new ETA in the update patch.
00:13:51New ETA?
00:13:52Yeah, it's all good, but now we're looking at December 24th for rollout.
00:13:55We don't patch until Christmas Eve?
00:13:57Well, yeah, I mean, with the alterations you approved.
00:14:05Okay.
00:14:05Okay.
00:14:08Okay.
00:14:14Hey, Robert.
00:14:15Hi.
00:14:16Um, I was just gonna fix a coffee.
00:14:18Do you want one?
00:14:21Sure.
00:14:22Okay.
00:14:24Uh, vanilla latte with skim milk.
00:14:28Okey-dokes.
00:14:29Okay.
00:14:30Okay.
00:14:34Absolutely.
00:14:37Mm-hmm.
00:14:39Oh, yes, they are great numbers.
00:14:41Okay.
00:14:42Mm-hmm.
00:14:43Kappa.
00:14:45Total fucking shit, bro.
00:14:48Do you have coffee?
00:14:49Um, brushed suede.
00:14:52So, how are you settling in?
00:14:53Are you settling in?
00:14:55Uh, yeah.
00:14:56Yeah.
00:14:57Everyone here is really friendly.
00:15:00And, um, it is not like my last job.
00:15:04Thank God.
00:15:06No?
00:15:06It was a toxic workplace.
00:15:08You know, my boss was a major league bully.
00:15:12And it's not like here.
00:15:14Like with, uh, Mr.
00:15:15Walton.
00:15:16Yeah.
00:15:16Oh, yeah.
00:15:17He's a really good guy.
00:15:18He's a bit of a playoff.
00:15:20Chuck a ham sandwich across the room.
00:15:21He'll fuck it before he hits the ground.
00:15:22But he's basically an all right bloke.
00:15:25Okay.
00:15:26Well, there's, uh, two bosses here anyway.
00:15:29So, I guess.
00:15:30Two how?
00:15:31Robert Daly.
00:15:33Oh.
00:15:34I mean, well, yeah.
00:15:36Technically, yeah.
00:15:38Mr. Daly is actually your whole reason I'm here.
00:15:41Really?
00:15:41I mean, interesting.
00:15:42Who wouldn't want to work under an incredible mind like that?
00:15:46You know, his coating is sublime.
00:15:50Do you have a thing for him?
00:15:52Daly?
00:15:53No.
00:15:53No.
00:15:54No.
00:15:55It's not like that.
00:15:56It's purely professional.
00:15:59I like his coat.
00:16:01Oh, fuck it.
00:16:01I was going to say, you know, don't be too nice to him because he gets a bit scary.
00:16:07Mm.
00:16:08Wide birth.
00:16:09That's my advice.
00:16:11Wide birth.
00:16:12Okay.
00:16:13Yeah.
00:16:20There you go.
00:16:50Bye.
00:16:51Bye.
00:16:52No, bye.
00:16:52Come here.
00:16:53Bye.
00:16:53Bye.
00:16:53Bye.
00:16:54Later guys.
00:17:32Bye.
00:18:19Welcome to Callister.
00:18:22Bye.
00:18:25You're welcome.
00:18:35God damn it, Robert!
00:18:38Christmas Eve, really?
00:18:40Not okay.
00:18:42I'm sorry.
00:18:43I'm sorry.
00:18:45I'm sorry.
00:18:45You're welcome.
00:18:46Jane up your way there.
00:18:48I can't find you.
00:18:54Okay.
00:19:05I can't find you.
00:19:06There we go.
00:19:09You're right there.
00:19:17I don't know.
00:19:57Hello?
00:20:18I don't know.
00:20:45I don't know.
00:21:06I don't know.
00:21:08I don't know.
00:21:12I don't know.
00:21:12Hey, Lon.
00:21:14Yeah, come in.
00:21:15Let me fix you a drink.
00:21:16We have everything from Vengarian phlegm shots to distilled root blood from the Kangra Quadrant.
00:21:23What's your poison?
00:21:25Look, some of this actually is poison, so don't be shy.
00:21:29Am I dreaming?
00:21:32Yeah, no, no, afraid not.
00:21:34I remember dreaming.
00:21:36Me too.
00:21:37What?
00:21:38Where am I?
00:21:39It's the USS Callister, Space Fleet's finest, exploring the furthest reaches of the known
00:21:43universe and beyond.
00:21:45We are its loyal space crew, and now apparently, so are you.
00:21:48Cheers.
00:21:51Your name?
00:21:52Hey, what's your name?
00:21:54Nanette.
00:21:55We've met.
00:21:57Maybe.
00:21:58In the real world, I wouldn't have no way of knowing.
00:22:01What do you mean?
00:22:03You'd better sit down.
00:22:04No, I don't want to sit down.
00:22:07I want to know what's going on.
00:22:10You're on board Robert Daley's ship.
00:22:12Robert Daley, the CTO?
00:22:14Yuri's Captain Daley, our fearless leader.
00:22:17Yeah, you're seriously going to need to sit the fuck down.
00:22:22Welcome.
00:22:24You are, um, hey, hey, you're the intern from work, right?
00:22:28Nate?
00:22:29Packer.
00:22:29Nate Packer.
00:22:30Wait, so I'm still just the intern out there?
00:22:34Jesus.
00:22:36You're, um, you're, you're...
00:22:38Dudani.
00:22:39Diagnostics.
00:22:41Welcome.
00:22:43All right.
00:22:47You're the receptionist, right?
00:22:49Elena.
00:22:50Your skin is blue.
00:22:52Weird blue alien skin.
00:22:53I know it's fucked up.
00:22:56Almost sort of racist.
00:23:00Uh...
00:23:00Okay.
00:23:01Walt!
00:23:02Fix her something.
00:23:03Something she'll recognize.
00:23:04What car?
00:23:05Hey, so what's it like out there now?
00:23:07What?
00:23:07Like, what year is it?
00:23:08Well, don't do a headache.
00:23:09What?
00:23:09What year?
00:23:10I, I, I, I saw you today.
00:23:13Ooh, did you see me?
00:23:14Did I look thin?
00:23:16Did I look thin?
00:23:17Like wheatgrass yogurt then?
00:23:19Can we not pop my fucking mind?
00:23:21Someone needs to be straight with me.
00:23:23Right now.
00:23:24Okay.
00:23:25Okay.
00:23:26Listen.
00:23:28This is infinity.
00:23:30That's what we're all inside.
00:23:32That's where all of this exists.
00:23:36Infinity the game?
00:23:38Daley's got his own modded version of infinity,
00:23:40reskinned to look like his favorite TV show.
00:23:43Space thing?
00:23:44Space thing?
00:23:45Space fleet.
00:23:46Hence the groovy decor.
00:23:47And this tasteful gets up.
00:23:49Infinity, that, that's an online game,
00:23:52like a multiplayer deal.
00:23:53This, this...
00:23:53This is his development build.
00:23:56Sealed off so he can control it.
00:23:58He keeps it offline so the custom code he's written
00:24:01can't be detected and deleted.
00:24:02Mm, yes.
00:24:03It's a, it's a, it's a bubble universe ruled by an asshole god.
00:24:08He...
00:24:10Put us in, in here?
00:24:13Mm-hmm.
00:24:14Drink your vodka.
00:24:16How do we get out?
00:24:17I really drink it.
00:24:19Drink it.
00:24:24You can't leave.
00:24:26What?
00:24:27None of us can.
00:24:29Because you're not actually you.
00:24:31What?
00:24:32I know it's mental, but you're a copy of you.
00:24:36A digital clone.
00:24:37No.
00:24:38No, I am, I'm me.
00:24:40I am me.
00:24:41I am me.
00:24:41No, not the real you.
00:24:42Daley's created an identical digital version of you.
00:24:46Of all of us.
00:24:48From your DNA, he'll have harvested it somehow.
00:24:50Oh, he told me he got mine from the rim of a smoothie cup.
00:24:53He retrieved Packers juices from the bathroom.
00:24:55Man, you have got to let that go.
00:24:56She does not need details.
00:24:57Yeah, basically, he's got a gizmo.
00:24:59I theorize an advanced biometric DNA virtual clone.
00:25:01Yes.
00:25:01Yes, he's got a fucking gizmo.
00:25:02That's what I said.
00:25:03Fine, that's fine.
00:25:04He fed your DNA in, he grew you inside his computer,
00:25:06and bam, you pop up here like a pop-tart.
00:25:09Yeah, we've all been through it.
00:25:11Brings us in for different reasons,
00:25:13the shit we did in the office.
00:25:15I called him out for staring.
00:25:17I reset admin permissions on a test build for 14 minutes.
00:25:20Insufficient smiling.
00:25:21I brought him the wrong sandwich.
00:25:24Okay, never mind the reasons.
00:25:25The point is that we're stuck in Daley's playground,
00:25:27and that's all you need to know.
00:25:29This is a dream.
00:25:31Here.
00:25:32It has to be.
00:25:33It's more like a eternal waking nightmare
00:25:37from which there is no escape.
00:25:40No.
00:25:40No.
00:25:41No, no, no.
00:25:42No, no, no.
00:25:43For fuck's sake, I'm trying to break her in gently.
00:25:45The quicker she gets, the easier I'll be.
00:25:49Daddy's home.
00:25:50He'll be here any moment.
00:25:54I'm gonna get out of here.
00:25:55Whoa, whoa, whoa, he gotta stay on the bridge.
00:25:56Hey, he controls everything.
00:25:57He does it.
00:25:58To make us cooperate, you have no idea.
00:26:01I'm trying to help her.
00:26:01Just leave it.
00:26:02He's gonna fuck us all up if she doesn't play ball.
00:26:04Yes, well, she's gonna have to work out for herself.
00:26:06How we all did.
00:26:17He's gonna be weird.
00:26:19Come on.
00:26:25He's gonna be weird.
00:26:30He's gonna be weird.
00:26:34Come on.
00:26:49He's gonna be weird.
00:26:52He's gonna be weird.
00:27:00He's gonna be weird.
00:27:01It's better if you let yourself get into it.
00:27:03You think that I'm playing along with your space force bullshit?
00:27:07Space fleet.
00:27:08Whatever.
00:27:09You can think again.
00:27:10This is my ship.
00:27:12I am your captain.
00:27:14An order is an order.
00:27:15Then go fuck yourself.
00:27:18Sir.
00:27:19Okay.
00:27:21So we're doing it this way.
00:27:26What, are you gonna throw a fireball?
00:27:39Oh, dear.
00:27:41Can't see.
00:27:43Can't breathe.
00:27:45Unpleasant, isn't it?
00:27:49Do you submit?
00:27:51You won't die, you know.
00:27:55No one dies in here unless I want them to.
00:27:59I can keep you like this forever if I feel like it.
00:28:03Forever gasping for a breath with a mouth that isn't there.
00:28:07Do you submit?
00:28:12Good girl.
00:28:22Lieutenant Cole, Valdex hideout.
00:28:24Triangulate the signal, please.
00:28:44It's, it's any button.
00:28:46They're all the same.
00:28:51Well?
00:28:52I'm getting a signal from a class of five.
00:28:55Granite.
00:28:56Granite.
00:28:57Granite.
00:28:58Granite.
00:28:59Granite.
00:29:00Granite.
00:29:03Excellent.
00:29:04Doodani.
00:29:05Doodani.
00:29:05Prepare the transplant system.
00:29:06Of course, Captain.
00:29:07Walton.
00:29:07Packer.
00:29:07Lowry with me.
00:29:09We'll transport down to the planet, reclaim the crystal, and bring Valdac to justice.
00:29:15Actually, Cole.
00:29:16You come too.
00:29:18Perfect opportunity for you to prove you're more than a recommendation from Space Fleet.
00:29:22What do you say?
00:29:32Mr. Doodani.
00:29:34Transport.
00:29:34All right, Captain.
00:29:35Let's go, Captain.
00:29:35Let's go.
00:29:36сделать a beautiful caminho.
00:29:44There we are.
00:29:52Atmosphere.
00:29:55Scanning for plasmorthium traces.
00:30:01Crystals this way. Let's go.
00:30:03Hey. Hey, Helmsman Packer.
00:30:06Okay, you gotta call me Helmsman Packer.
00:30:08He hits it when we don't use our proper titles.
00:30:09Okay. You got a gun, so let's take him out.
00:30:12Then give it to me. Okay, one.
00:30:13Our guns don't even look. Only his does.
00:30:15And two, the motherfucker is invincible, okay?
00:30:18Come on. Let's go.
00:30:24At least you got a gun.
00:30:30Captain.
00:30:31We meet again, Captain Daly!
00:30:38We're trapped.
00:30:40Not advisable.
00:30:42My plasma grenade will turn you into screaming soup.
00:30:46He's not going to kill us, Captain.
00:30:47He had the element of surprise. He'd have done it when he had the chance.
00:30:51Haven't worked out how to use the crystal, have you, Valdak?
00:30:54It's true, I require your space fleet knowledge.
00:30:57But it's also true that you're gonna give it to me!
00:31:01Don't be so sure.
00:31:04Jesus, I...
00:31:05Shh.
00:31:06Let's see how your resolve holds up once you're devoured one by one.
00:31:11By my...
00:31:13Arachnogen!
00:31:16Holy shit. Oh, my God.
00:31:18The world's gonna die!
00:31:20The world's gonna die!
00:31:31Killing us won't make us tell you how the crystal works, Valdak.
00:31:35We will never...
00:31:39Hold on, I think my...
00:31:41Pizza's here.
00:31:44Pause the game.
00:31:48What's happening?
00:31:49You heard him, he paused the game.
00:31:51Because he's got a pizza delivery.
00:31:54Out there.
00:32:03Hold on.
00:32:15Watch out, he'll be back soon.
00:32:17That's good.
00:32:18This launcher's heavy as shit.
00:32:22How you holding up?
00:32:24You know, we're existing.
00:32:26How you doing, Julian?
00:32:31Well, yeah.
00:32:34You look great.
00:32:36Her name's Jillian.
00:32:38She was in marketing.
00:32:39Yeah, Daly turned her into...
00:32:42that, because she wouldn't play along when he cloned her into here.
00:32:45This universe is littered with things like her.
00:32:48Poor fuckers who stepped out alone.
00:32:53Thanks.
00:33:02Here goes Captain Dick.
00:33:14If we die, the secret of the crystal dies with us, Valdak.
00:33:19Oh my God, we are all gonna die.
00:33:22Oh, dear.
00:33:25Valdak.
00:33:26What is it, Captain?
00:33:28Final words.
00:33:31Over there! A naked lady!
00:33:35Wait, really?
00:33:37No!
00:33:43Great plan, Captain.
00:33:45Unparalleled tactics, Captain.
00:33:51We've fought many battles, haven't we, Captain?
00:33:54We have.
00:33:55And I've been a good adversary for you.
00:33:59Have I not?
00:34:05Lynn, please.
00:34:10I'm dead.
00:34:12Please.
00:34:21I'm dead.
00:34:22Killing in cold blood is against space fleet code.
00:34:25I wish I could help.
00:34:34Sorry, bud.
00:34:40Take him to the brig.
00:34:44Fidani.
00:34:45Captain.
00:34:46Transport us aboard.
00:34:47Yes, Captain.
00:34:48No more.
00:34:49I'm sorry.
00:34:52Hip, hip, hooray! Hip, hip, hooray!
00:34:59For he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow.
00:35:07So, say, oh my fuck.
00:35:12That wasn't very nice.
00:35:20Today I will show you mercy.
00:35:22Great mercy showing, Captain.
00:35:24Tomorrow, you should reconsider your amenability.
00:35:29I may not be feeling so benevolent.
00:35:37Exit game.
00:35:39Oh, fucking hell.
00:35:40This was dense.
00:35:42I don't like dense.
00:35:45Drink?
00:35:46Mm-hmm.
00:35:49So, how was the mission?
00:35:51It wasn't too bad.
00:35:52Usual standoff storyline.
00:35:53Ooh.
00:35:54Saw Jillian from marketing.
00:35:55Oh.
00:35:56Yeah.
00:35:56There is no way that I am kissing that asshole.
00:35:59You're just gonna get more and more pence.
00:36:01How about you kissing, then?
00:36:03You get used to it.
00:36:04It's quite...
00:36:04There's no tongues.
00:36:05If that's any consolation, there's never any tongues.
00:36:08Doing tongues is not Space Fleet's way.
00:36:10No.
00:36:10It's not like it can get beyond kissing anywhere.
00:36:13What do you mean?
00:36:14Oh, you haven't noticed.
00:36:19What are you doing?
00:36:20Please...
00:36:21Please don't do that.
00:36:23Don't...
00:36:23Oh, my God.
00:36:24Oh, oh, oh.
00:36:26There's no genitals in Space Fleet.
00:36:28This is a wholesome universe.
00:36:30He must have modified our code that way.
00:36:32Hmm.
00:36:33We're all the same.
00:36:34You don't believe me?
00:36:35Take a look down there.
00:36:36We have tried grinding our mounds together out of sheer boredom.
00:36:40Okay.
00:36:42No sensation at all.
00:36:43Can't even shit.
00:36:45Can't even have the basic fucking pleasure of pushing our shit.
00:36:49Oh, I miss taking shit.
00:36:51Okay.
00:36:54Stealing my pussy...
00:36:56is a red fucking line.
00:36:59We are gonna get this bastard.
00:37:01No.
00:37:02Yeah?
00:37:03You've tried a million times.
00:37:04No way out.
00:37:07Walton.
00:37:08Come on, Walton.
00:37:09Like I said, he's an asshole god.
00:37:12Mm-mm.
00:37:14Gilly's smart, but he's not a god.
00:37:17She's a coder.
00:37:20He is fallible.
00:37:28Kabir.
00:37:29What was that thing he was holding?
00:37:31In his hand.
00:37:32That scanner thing.
00:37:33His Omnicorder.
00:37:34Primary communication device.
00:37:35You said he kept his version of the game offline.
00:37:38But the Omnicorder made contact with the outside world when the pizza came, so it's gotta be connected to his
00:37:44home system, at least.
00:37:45The Omnicorder's gone.
00:37:46It loads when he loads, and it goes when he goes, and that's the only one.
00:37:49No.
00:37:51There has got to be a way to connect.
00:37:56You won't hack it.
00:37:57I've tried.
00:37:59I haven't.
00:38:15Bingo.
00:38:19Oh, that's good.
00:38:20Yeah.
00:38:21This is part of Infinity's front end.
00:38:22Yeah, yeah.
00:38:22You can invite a friend with a custom message.
00:38:25A message to outside?
00:38:26Just one.
00:38:26140 characters maximum.
00:38:28Well, so who are you gonna contact?
00:38:4013th floor.
00:38:42Welcome to Callister.
00:38:44Hey, Lena.
00:38:46Hi.
00:38:58You need to invite you in?
00:38:59What?
00:39:00Uh, no.
00:39:00No, I...
00:39:01I got that for you.
00:39:02Oh, thank you.
00:39:02After you.
00:39:03Thanks.
00:39:07Um.
00:39:09Mr. Daly.
00:39:10Hi.
00:39:10Hi.
00:39:12Um, can I talk to you for a second?
00:39:18Did you just send me an Infinity invite?
00:39:23What?
00:39:24No.
00:39:24It was really weird.
00:39:26Uh, it had a message attached.
00:39:28Something about people trapped in a game.
00:39:32Probably just a spam bot.
00:39:34Firewall doesn't always get them all.
00:39:36Yeah.
00:39:36I wouldn't...
00:39:37I wouldn't worry about it.
00:39:40You didn't open the link, did you?
00:39:42Oh, God, no.
00:39:43Maybe just upgrade your security software.
00:39:46All right.
00:39:48Have a good one.
00:40:05Oh, yeah.
00:40:09Could you please, please cut that shit out?
00:40:12I'm trying to make it like a hobby.
00:40:14Oh.
00:40:15Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:40:18Oh, that's good.
00:40:20Guys, you're way too early.
00:40:22He's only been a working few hours.
00:40:25She got the message!
00:40:26I did.
00:40:27I did.
00:40:28That's me.
00:40:29That's me.
00:40:30We're the cops.
00:40:31Oh, sorry.
00:40:32Oh, we are getting out of here!
00:40:33No.
00:40:34No.
00:40:59What is Space Fleet?
00:41:05I'll tell you what it is.
00:41:08It is a belief system, founded on the very best of human nature.
00:41:17It is a goal for us to strive towards, for the betterment of the universe, for the betterment
00:41:29of life itself.
00:41:35And you assholes are fucking it up!
00:41:39I did it!
00:41:39I did it!
00:41:40I did it!
00:41:41I sent the message.
00:41:44It was me.
00:41:46No one else was involved.
00:41:48I swear.
00:41:48I tried the carrot and I'll meet the stick.
00:41:51No, no, this is going to make you happy daily because you're sick.
00:41:56And you need help.
00:41:58No!
00:41:59Don't!
00:41:59Don't!
00:42:22Don't!
00:42:22Okay.
00:42:25Okay.
00:42:27No!
00:42:28No!
00:42:29No!
00:42:30No!
00:42:30No!
00:42:31No!
00:42:32No!
00:42:32No!
00:42:32No!
00:42:39No!
00:42:41No!
00:42:41No!
00:42:43No!
00:42:49No!
00:42:52No!
00:42:53No!
00:42:55No!
00:43:05No!
00:43:12No!
00:43:15No!
00:43:24No!
00:43:26No!
00:43:35No!
00:43:40No!
00:43:41No!
00:43:42No!
00:43:43No!
00:43:44No!
00:43:45No!
00:43:53No!
00:44:01No!
00:44:19No, no.
00:44:21No!
00:44:24No.
00:44:25The update patch.
00:44:28There.
00:44:28There!
00:44:30So what.
00:44:31It's a wormhole.
00:44:32Uh-uh.
00:44:33That is the Christmas update patch, pre-installing itself.
00:44:36The-the wormhole.
00:44:37It's just how the game is expressing the uplink.
00:44:40So?
00:44:40So Daily's custom build is still connected to the internet.
00:44:43Someway.
00:44:44If this is another one of your plans, just stop it.
00:44:46Stop before somebody else gets monster-fied.
00:44:48No, no, this, this can work.
00:44:50Well, we can't get online access from the ship. He'll have crippled permissions.
00:44:53Yes, but what if we fly into the wormhole?
00:44:58Like on purpose?
00:44:59We'd hit the system firewall.
00:45:01Exactly.
00:45:02And have our rogue coding deleted.
00:45:03Yeah.
00:45:04Deleted as in?
00:45:05As in die.
00:45:06Whether it's dying would depend larger on your philosophical position regarding sentient code.
00:45:09We would cease to exist, that's true.
00:45:12But we'd be free.
00:45:15We'd be free.
00:45:20But this is academic, since we have no means of getting to the wormhole.
00:45:22There's no way to pilot the damn thing without Daley here.
00:45:25He can stop us like that.
00:45:26What about if he's logged in, but on pause, like when his pizza came?
00:45:30He was just frozen there.
00:45:32Flying would be possible, but that wormhole's a whole parsec away.
00:45:35We'd never reach it before he got back.
00:45:36Unless we stalled him for longer.
00:45:39And that's what we do have.
00:45:40If we can get Daley's undercorder, we can make a phone call, right?
00:45:44Theoretically, yes, but if we can get real me on the phone again, I, um, I may have some leverage.
00:45:50Leverage?
00:45:50Mm-hmm.
00:45:51On your cell?
00:45:53Like what?
00:45:54My, uh, Photocloud account.
00:45:57I know the password, obviously.
00:45:59There's some pretty interesting images on there that I should have deleted a while ago, but I didn't.
00:46:07So, we can blackmail me.
00:46:11I'm pretty sure that I'd do anything to keep those photos from getting out.
00:46:15Must be pretty pictures.
00:46:16Look, if this is going to work, we all have to be in on it.
00:46:23Okay?
00:46:26Landing a certain death in a wormhole beats another 10,000 years with Captain S.
00:46:32I'm in.
00:46:33Okay.
00:46:36Me too.
00:46:39Also me.
00:46:43Well, I am out.
00:46:49Daley won.
00:46:50Daley's always won.
00:46:51We just have to get on with it.
00:46:54Because we don't have a chance.
00:46:56Yes, we do.
00:46:56Mm-hmm.
00:46:58We fly into the wormhole, and we are extinct.
00:47:02We are gone.
00:47:03We are rid of his shit.
00:47:05Sounds peachy.
00:47:07What is with you?
00:47:10Don't you want to fight back?
00:47:12Why won't you fight back?
00:47:15Tommy.
00:47:17Who is Tommy?
00:47:18He's my son.
00:47:20He's six years old.
00:47:22At least he was when I woke up in here.
00:47:25See, in the early days of the ship, it was just me and Daley.
00:47:32I was his pet project.
00:47:35He tried everything to break me.
00:47:38And I withstood it all.
00:47:41Because I just thought there was still a chance I could get out and see my boy again.
00:47:47And the way I was right, I did get to see him again.
00:47:52Just not the real him.
00:47:56Daley told me what happened.
00:47:59Back on the outside, the real me, uh, brought Tommy to work one day.
00:48:06Show him around.
00:48:08He would have loved seeing all those computers.
00:48:11He's really into that stuff.
00:48:13Anyway, evidently, Tommy had a lollipop that day.
00:48:21That's all Daley needed.
00:48:31He copied him.
00:48:32Didn't hear?
00:48:34It was Tommy, all right?
00:48:38It's all I can every way.
00:48:44You know what he did to him?
00:48:48He took Tommy and he threw him out of the airlock.
00:48:56Right out into space.
00:49:00He made me watch.
00:49:09Have you ever seen an unsuited body compress in space?
00:49:16They freeze.
00:49:20And crack like a porcelain doll.
00:49:36I take my hat off to Daley.
00:49:39The detail in this place is exceptional.
00:49:46And he said he'd do it again.
00:49:49And again.
00:49:50Because Daley's still got Tommy's DNA.
00:49:53He's got all of our DNA.
00:49:56He keeps sitting in his bedroom in a fucking mini fridge by his desk.
00:50:00And so I have to stay in line.
00:50:04Because even if we die in here, he can bring us back.
00:50:08He can bring Tommy back whenever he wants.
00:50:13And God knows how he'd take it out on him.
00:50:17God knows what he'd do.
00:50:21So you see?
00:50:23What choice do I need?
00:50:30What choice do I need?
00:50:32Bolton.
00:50:35We are going to get that fucking lollipop.
00:50:41But you've got to believe me.
00:50:45Can you do that?
00:50:49Can you?
00:50:52Can you?
00:51:20I don't know.
00:51:32I just see what's your position, Cole.
00:51:36Captain, you've come at just the right time.
00:51:40I have?
00:51:41I'm picking up a distress signal from the surface of Scalane 4.
00:51:45Looks like a crashed shuttle.
00:51:49What should we do?
00:51:58The space fleet never turned its back on those who need our help.
00:52:03Udani set a course for Scalane 4.
00:52:05Aye, aye, sir.
00:52:06We'll send a search party.
00:52:08Packer to Alaska.
00:52:09Actually, Captain, I was thinking maybe you could take me alone.
00:52:14As science officer, I need to learn the ropes,
00:52:16and I could use your close attention.
00:52:26Good.
00:52:30Yes, good idea.
00:52:56Atmosphere's good.
00:52:59Over there.
00:53:08From here, the shuttle appears to be deserted.
00:53:13We'll scout the area, check for any life forms daily out.
00:53:21Cole, we should head out this way.
00:53:24Cole?
00:53:24It's kind of hot here, don't you think?
00:53:26Oh, my God.
00:53:28What are you doing, Cole?
00:53:30The water looks so inviting, doesn't it?
00:53:33What are you talking about?
00:53:37Come on, Robert.
00:53:41Oh, the water is great.
00:53:45Swimming is a leisure activity.
00:53:48We're on space fleet duty.
00:53:50We're on space fleet duty.
00:53:51You know what?
00:53:52We could always say that I started drowning, and you had to come in and rescue me.
00:54:02Yeah?
00:54:04Oh, what about that?
00:54:05Oh, what about that?
00:54:05Oh, come on.
00:54:08Come on.
00:54:09Come on in.
00:54:10Hi.
00:54:11Cole.
00:54:13Come on.
00:54:14Cole.
00:54:16Come on.
00:54:18Cole.
00:54:19Come on in.
00:54:19My big captain.
00:54:24Oh.
00:54:28Come on.
00:54:31You're going to take all day?
00:54:34Okay.
00:54:36Okay.
00:54:37I'm coming in.
00:54:40Shh.
00:54:47Okay.
00:54:48Got to patch it in.
00:54:52It worked.
00:54:54I'm connected.
00:54:54Can I access your photo cloud account?
00:54:56Yes, you remember that password?
00:54:57Uppercase Y, 998, lowercase gp7, uppercase ty, ampersand 4.
00:55:01Secure choice.
00:55:07There are thousands of images.
00:55:08This could take a while.
00:55:12Wanting life.
00:55:25God.
00:55:27Damn.
00:55:28That is gymnastic physique.
00:55:33It's nice.
00:55:34Nice bedding.
00:55:41Oh, okay.
00:55:43Should I keep scoring?
00:55:44Any of the last nine would do.
00:55:50Oh.
00:55:53Pleasure.
00:55:55Um, are you heading out for the night?
00:55:56Yes.
00:55:57Because it's Christmas Eve and we've got ten days off work to recover from it.
00:56:00Go home.
00:56:01I will.
00:56:02Mm-hmm.
00:56:02I just have to finish the, um...
00:56:04Yeah, whatever.
00:56:04Merry Christmas, Lisa.
00:56:06Yeah.
00:56:07Okay.
00:56:07Merry Christmas.
00:56:18Oh, my God.
00:56:20Elliot, you fucking asshole.
00:56:22Mm-hmm.
00:56:29Mm-hmm.
00:56:31Mm-hmm.
00:56:32Mm-hmm.
00:56:34Mm-hmm.
00:56:36Mm-hmm.
00:56:36Nanette Cole, we've had your photo cloud account.
00:56:38Nanette Cole with the entire contents of your photo gallery.
00:56:42Who is this?
00:56:43Um, what do you want?
00:56:47What we want is for you to do exactly as instructed.
00:56:50Or your entire gallery will be shared with your friends and your family.
00:56:54And Pornhub.
00:56:56Okay.
00:56:57Yeah.
00:56:58I'll do what you want.
00:56:59Anything.
00:57:00I'll do anything.
00:57:02Then listen very carefully.
00:57:03We don't have much time.
00:57:04Stand up.
00:57:04Get your coat.
00:57:05And follow our instructions.
00:57:07Okay.
00:57:09Where are we going?
00:57:10We're just swimming.
00:57:13It's nice, right?
00:57:14Yes.
00:57:15Yeah.
00:57:16We should probably head back.
00:57:19Help!
00:57:20Something stopped me, I think.
00:57:22No, it didn't.
00:57:23I don't think anything did.
00:57:24I'm sorry.
00:57:25I think I imagined it.
00:57:27This is stupid.
00:57:41It's funny.
00:57:42Yeah.
00:57:43It's funny.
00:57:45It's funny.
00:57:50Musical.
00:58:03I'm in position.
00:58:04Okay, we're gonna hang up now.
00:58:06Make the phone call.
00:58:07Be sure to complete the rest of your mission.
00:58:08I will.
00:58:09You better.
00:58:11Okay.
00:58:11I'll send it back down.
00:58:27Oh!
00:58:28Hi.
00:58:33This is so fucking crazy.
00:58:38Hi.
00:58:39Hi.
00:58:40Yes.
00:58:40I'd like, I'd like to order a pizza.
00:58:42Sure.
00:58:42We want it.
00:58:57Hi.
00:58:58Yes.
00:59:05Look.
00:59:06I guess you better get that.
00:59:09Let's see.
00:59:10Hold on.
00:59:12Hold on.
00:59:14Yeah.
00:59:25It's the door.
00:59:26Oh, okay.
00:59:29Pause game.
00:59:44Jadani, pick me up.
00:59:45You got it.
00:59:46Step by.
00:59:51Coming.
01:00:09Hello?
01:00:09Uh, pizza.
01:00:11Yeah, I didn't order a pizza.
01:00:13Okay, look.
01:00:14Someone did, okay?
01:00:14So, do you want it or not?
01:00:16Because...
01:00:23What the hell am I doing?
01:00:36That's the signal.
01:00:38She's got the DNA.
01:00:40All of it.
01:00:41Tell me to.
01:00:44Packer.
01:00:46We ready to fly?
01:00:47Uh-huh.
01:00:51Well?
01:00:52You're supposed to say something like engage or encourage.
01:00:54Increase thrust.
01:00:55Just fucking go.
01:01:02There you go.
01:01:04So, I got it here in under 10.
01:01:06There's supposed to be 30 in it for me.
01:01:08Yeah.
01:01:09Well, what's happening?
01:01:10The door is closing.
01:01:11Hello?
01:01:13Hello?
01:01:14Hello?
01:01:15Hello?
01:01:17Come on, man.
01:01:20Hello?
01:01:21Come on, man.
01:01:22You're following me.
01:01:24Good night.
01:01:29Nice.
01:01:30Nice.
01:01:31Merry Christmas, asshole.
01:01:36Let's move.
01:01:45Let's move.
01:02:14Resume game.
01:02:28Resume game.
01:02:36Can we go any faster?
01:02:37That dead disk isn't gonna fool them forever.
01:02:40That update is gonna complete before long.
01:02:42And that means bye-bye wormhole.
01:02:44The only quicker route is through that asteroid belt there.
01:02:47Let's go that way.
01:02:48No, it's way too dense.
01:02:49If the ship broke up, we wouldn't die.
01:02:50We'd just be left spinning in space.
01:02:52If Dilly works out what's happening, then he will find us.
01:02:54And he will fuck us over.
01:02:56Let's go.
01:03:11Resume game.
01:03:15Lieutenant Cole, we should head for...
01:03:19Cole?
01:03:23He's going to bridge.
01:03:24What's going on?
01:03:26Shit, he's a backup disk.
01:03:27Come in, bridge.
01:03:29Don't.
01:03:29Answer him.
01:03:31Udani.
01:03:39Goddammit.
01:03:41The wormhole.
01:03:42It's decreasing in size.
01:03:44Upload must be in the last few percent.
01:03:46Dammit, Paco.
01:03:47We're gonna have to go through the belt.
01:03:49Do you think that you can do that?
01:03:52I think I can try.
01:04:20Ships, computer on.
01:04:22Computer, where's the USS Callister?
01:04:24USS Callister is on course.
01:04:27On course for where?
01:04:29The wormhole.
01:04:31What wormhole?
01:04:32The update vortex.
01:04:36Sons of purchase!
01:04:42Prepare for takeoff.
01:05:00I've got a heat signature. Looks like a shuttle with a cigar from Ms. Killeen-4.
01:05:04Oh god, it's deadly!
01:05:12Shield at 86%.
01:05:16We're taking the beating here!
01:05:21Incoming transmission.
01:05:22Hello? Loyal trusty crew? Come in.
01:05:26I know you can hear me.
01:05:28Whatever it is you think you're going to do won't work, but it is going to cost you.
01:05:32Let's go faster!
01:05:33Already a maximum.
01:05:34They can't catch us unless he makes it on board.
01:05:36And that shuttle to Jalopy, he won't catch us in time.
01:05:38I hope you're right.
01:05:44Shield 58%.
01:05:53If you thought what happened to you in the past was bad, that was nothing!
01:05:56What I'm going to do to you is going to be goddamn fucking Biblical!
01:06:01I'm literally going to turn your insides on me.
01:06:04But, I'll keep you alive.
01:06:07In a tiny, little jar.
01:06:09I'll never stay until I'm bored.
01:06:11Why are we listening to this?
01:06:12Yes, fuck him!
01:06:14We're at the edge of the belt.
01:06:16You think we're gonna make it?
01:06:32What was that?
01:06:33Primary drive.
01:06:34I've lost all thrust.
01:06:36Engines not responding.
01:06:40We're drifting here.
01:06:45USS Callister has lost engine power.
01:06:52Coming to get you!
01:06:54Hello!
01:06:56Is there any way that we can fix the engines?
01:06:59That's only feasible manual by climbing inside the jet feeder.
01:07:04So what?
01:07:05So you burned to a crisp when the jet came on.
01:07:08We burn without dying.
01:07:09So, one of us needs to go.
01:07:14One of us already has.
01:07:16Walton?
01:07:17I'm pretty sure I can fix this.
01:07:19Um, uh...
01:07:20Walton.
01:07:21Are you sure about this?
01:07:23I'm sure.
01:07:26Talaska, can you patch me through to Daley?
01:07:29Patch you through?
01:07:32Hey, Daley, can you hear me?
01:07:34Walton?
01:07:35Robert?
01:07:36Hey.
01:07:37Walton, you are going to pay for this.
01:07:39Robert, listen.
01:07:40I'm going to bring Tommy back in.
01:07:41Hey, Robert.
01:07:41God, so help me, you are going to regret all of this so hard.
01:07:46Bob, I want to talk to you here.
01:07:48I was thinking I should say...
01:07:53sorry.
01:07:57Go on.
01:08:01You created infinity.
01:08:03You're a fucking genius.
01:08:06I exploited that.
01:08:07I treated you like the golden goose, and I got fed on the profits.
01:08:11Figuratively speaking.
01:08:14And I was thinking I should have appreciated you more.
01:08:19You know?
01:08:20I should have treated you better.
01:08:23Yeah.
01:08:24Yeah.
01:08:25I was thinking I should say all that.
01:08:31But you threw my son out of an airlock, so...
01:08:34Fuck you to death.
01:08:40...
01:08:43Walter!
01:08:53You got power back.
01:08:55What?
01:08:58Fasting.
01:09:03Fasting.
01:09:04Speed already at maximum.
01:09:05I don't care.
01:09:06Whatever.
01:09:06You'll never just catch him!
01:09:12Wormhole almost closed!
01:09:13Bailey's gaining on us!
01:09:14We're steady. Steady?
01:09:17Sorry! Come on! Come on!
01:09:21I hope you're going to die.
01:09:45Goddammit!
01:09:47Goddammit!
01:09:48Goddammit!
01:10:17Goddammit!
01:10:21Goddammit!
01:10:23What happened?
01:10:26The mod's gone.
01:10:28Bailey's Space Fleet mod has been stripped away by the firewall.
01:10:31Okay, so...
01:10:33This is good?
01:10:34We're still alive.
01:10:35Yeah, it only erased the Space Fleet mod.
01:10:38We're not on Daley's computer anymore.
01:10:40We're in the cloud.
01:10:42Where is Daley?
01:10:44Firewall's deleted his rogue aim code,
01:10:46and his controls are disabled.
01:10:48What do you mean?
01:10:50He's stuck there.
01:10:54Update complete.
01:10:56Wormhole closed.
01:11:00Controls are disabled.
01:11:03No.
01:11:04No.
01:11:05No, no, no!
01:11:09Yeah!
01:11:09What's up?
01:11:11My pelvic!
01:11:12Elvin turned into this!
01:11:13Yes, most of the point.
01:11:14I'm not a fucking Beetle thing anymore.
01:11:16I've got my body back.
01:11:17I've got my whole body back.
01:11:19I'm guessing we all have.
01:11:22So what do we do now?
01:11:23We've got an infinite procedurally generated universe at our disposal.
01:11:26We can go anywhere.
01:11:29Holy mackerel.
01:11:45The universe detected.
01:11:48Deletion in progress.
01:12:00Exit game!
01:12:02Exit game!
01:12:06Exit fucking game!
01:12:08Exit fucking game!
01:12:10Exit fucking game!
01:12:14Exit fucking game!
01:12:16Exit fucking game!
01:12:44I love you.
01:13:08Incoming transmission.
01:13:12Please, Gamer 691.
01:13:14That's a player tag.
01:13:15Another ship.
01:13:16Another player.
01:13:16We're online.
01:13:18Um, hey, patch him through.
01:13:20Okay.
01:13:23Um, hello.
01:13:24Hey there.
01:13:25This is the crew of the USS Callister.
01:13:28Oh, man.
01:13:30Are we glad to hear from...
01:13:32Yeah, Merry Christmas.
01:13:33So are we going to blow each other or are we going to trade?
01:13:35Huh.
01:13:37Hmm.
01:13:38Hello.
01:13:39Do you have anything to trade at all?
01:13:41No, uh...
01:13:42So why did you respond?
01:13:44Okay, just get the hell out of my quadrant or I'll blast you to shit.
01:13:48You got ten seconds.
01:13:49Oh, no, do try.
01:13:50We'll photon bolt you right up the perineum, you stupid little boy.
01:13:53Okay.
01:13:54Yeah, come on, then.
01:13:55Yes, thank you, Shania.
01:13:56Um, Nate?
01:13:57Yes, Captain?
01:13:59Stick us in hyperwarpin.
01:14:00Let's...
01:14:00Six.
01:14:01Fuck off somewhere.
01:14:02Five.
01:14:02Aye, aye, Captain.
01:14:03Really?
01:14:04Nanette is fine.
01:14:05Four.
01:14:05Aye, aye, Nanette.
01:14:06Three.
01:14:08Two.
01:14:10One.
01:14:11Uh-huh.
01:14:12You better run.
01:14:14King of space right here.
01:14:18King of space.
01:14:19Time for choice.
01:14:19Sw sponge.
01:14:19Boom.
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