- 5 hours ago
She’S Not Homeless, She’S Healer Goddess
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:04You
00:00:05Healer goddess hear my plea
00:00:08Please save my
00:00:24Rod of a sepulius
00:00:45Rejuvenate
00:00:54Praise she is the healer goddess
00:00:58No, please don't call me about it. I'm just glad I could help
00:01:07Here you go miss. Thank you
00:01:12Why be way down by a throne when I can live amongst the common people and help those the most
00:01:16in need
00:01:29You must be rushing off to go find your jewels because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and
00:01:34run
00:01:37Oh
00:01:38It's okay little guy. I'll fix you right up
00:01:47Right rewrites the wronged
00:01:51Rejuvenate
00:01:57See good as the day you can kicking out of your mother's womb
00:02:02Come on Cleo. Let's go
00:02:20Please my brother's been in a coma the last two years
00:02:24We have no idea what the illness is if anyone can help cure him we will pay you handsomely
00:02:28The elizander armstrong his military family basically owns the entire global stock market
00:02:34He's so hot
00:02:36Does he come with the money?
00:02:38Yes, he'll even marry you if you can cure him money fame power
00:02:43It's all yours
00:02:49Are we still moving forward miss Trixie?
00:02:51Yes, give the presidential contract to Marissa
00:02:54Oh, I have another call coming in
00:02:58Grandma
00:02:59I'm dying
00:03:01Save me Trixie
00:03:02Grandma
00:03:04Grandma
00:03:05When are you getting married? I'm already a hundred years old
00:03:09I'm gonna keep you healthy forever grandma
00:03:11And Butch is still on deployment. So that's why I haven't been married yet
00:03:18Oh, but why marry a vegetable when I can bang a younger stud like you?
00:03:25We're talking about my brother's light. I don't have time for jokes
00:03:38Please go feed your dog miss don't let it starve like you. Oh kind stranger
00:03:44Let me repay you by granting you a wish grant me a wish
00:03:47As you can barely feed yourself the downfall of humanity. It all starts with the loss of faith
00:03:53What? Oh geez this is giving me a migraine. Are you telling me to pray to god because we've been
00:04:00doing that?
00:04:00I'm telling you to have some faith in me
00:04:04Okay, uh, I wish for you to cure my brother's illness
00:04:08Can you do that?
00:04:09I can topple mountains and make a king out of a frog if I wanted to
00:04:14Cleo stay right here for a second. Don't go too far Cleo
00:04:20Hold still
00:04:28What my migraine's gone, okay, then let's go if you can cure my brother. He'll even marry you
00:04:34Come on
00:04:34Come on
00:04:49How is he? What is the diagnosis? Remember you will not marry him unless you cure him. I'm sorry. I
00:04:56don't know what this is
00:04:57Aren't you the queen of medicine? You're supposed to be one of the best. Don't worry general
00:05:01I'm the angel herbalist and I have mastered all healing methods of the east
00:05:06I can detect what condition your son has with just one needle
00:05:28I have no clue what this is
00:05:31Oh, it looks like the angel herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all
00:05:37That's why we saved the best for last me the witch doctor. I'll save your son Lysander
00:05:53He's not budging there's no movement truly I have saved thousands of patients all over the world, but I don't
00:06:00know what this is
00:06:02Lord I've scoured the earth for the best doctors they've tried all these methods and they've all failed if we
00:06:09can't save him
00:06:11There's only one person who can
00:06:14Who?
00:06:17The goddess of healing
00:06:21Wait a second you're not talking about the legendary goddess you that's correct
00:06:26Her right rewrites the wrong and her left leaves the bereft
00:06:31That's her motto. It's what makes her a sage amongst mortals. We are nothing compared to her. She is
00:06:39eccentric and elusive
00:06:41No one has ever seen her before if this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my
00:06:46son
00:06:47I don't care if I go bankrupt
00:06:50I will find her James come
00:06:53Put out about to the entire world whoever finds the goddess healer
00:06:58I'll give her five million dollars. There's no need
00:07:15I'll save your son
00:07:18Who the hell is she dad? She says she can cure lysander. She's gonna save your brother? Don't be ridiculous
00:07:24How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother? Exactly god the unemployed are getting crazier and crazier
00:07:32She's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich
00:07:35Ew she even brought a filthy dog with her
00:07:39I bet it has fleas that flea infested dirty thing is your companion
00:07:44Don't try to steal lysander armstrong from us
00:07:52Don't touch him
00:07:55They say don't judge a book by its cover, but I can see from all your faces that you've failed
00:08:00So step aside i'll take it from here could you hold this
00:08:06Oh, you're not gonna touch my son
00:08:09I'm the richest tycoon in this country and a former general
00:08:13I know a gold digging whore when I see one
00:08:15I bet she's only here because giving blowjobs on the street corners wasn't paying enough cash
00:08:21Who knows what an unskilled poor girl like her would do for some
00:08:25A skinny-ass beggar trying to take advantage of lysander armstrong when he's unconscious
00:08:32Ew
00:08:33Disgusting go back to being a prostitute security
00:08:37Get this std infested peasant out of here now. Let's go if you throw me out you're tossing away your
00:08:43son's last chance at life
00:08:48Sir we are at our wit's end trying to find a cure for master lysander into no avail
00:08:53Maybe we should give her a try
00:08:55You can always deal with her later if she turns out to be a fraud
00:08:58All right, i'll give you a shot
00:09:01But i warn you if you fail i'll have your and your dog's head mounted on my wall
00:09:07Is that any way to ask for help?
00:09:10You'd be blessed to have me and i'm only here to repay your younger son's kindness
00:09:15But since i'm not welcome here
00:09:18I'll leave
00:09:20Devin come find me when you have a different wish
00:09:23No, miss trixie. My brother is a hero to me. I can't lose him
00:09:29Well, if he's a hero to you
00:09:32Then that means he must be a good person
00:09:35My brother is a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack. Also, he's great with
00:09:40puppies
00:09:41He'd make a great husband
00:09:44Who says i want to marry him as if the number one hottest 30 under 30 would even dream of
00:09:51marrying a penniless bum like you
00:09:53Only a lunatic would be crazy enough to marry her. I mean look at her
00:09:57Even if she cleaned herself up
00:09:59You couldn't find an ounce of femininity on her
00:10:02Only those cut from the lowest ranks were bigger over such trivial matters
00:10:06Continue wasting your time
00:10:08But i'm saving this patient
00:10:20Oh, okay
00:10:23What's happening?
00:10:25What are we doing?
00:10:36What the hell are you doing?
00:10:38I knew she was a perv. She's definitely trying to steal lysander from us
00:10:43Do you all not know that sweat can tell you everything that's medically wrong with a patient?
00:10:47Are you insane security smash her face in for licking my son?
00:10:52He's born with congenital heart disease has a peanut allergy and the condition he has is called
00:10:58Endogenic cryomorphy
00:10:59Yeah, right. I mean no way you got all that just from licking him
00:11:03Oh, okay. I've studied every disease known to man, right?
00:11:07I even have the badge of universal medicine right here, and I've never heard of endo cryo
00:11:15What what?
00:11:25It's worth nothing when I have the real thing right here
00:11:27What? So you think that this this crummy walking stick of yours is what the rod of a sepulius?
00:11:35Why don't you go back to the homeless asylum where you came from if you're going to be this delusional?
00:11:41I agree. I mean even if she does solve this medical mystery
00:11:44What is the point of doctors who have studied for years?
00:11:48We are all certified
00:11:50But lysander does have congenital heart disease
00:11:54She's right about everything
00:11:57Yeah, but if she just throws out a bunch of fake diagnosis one of them is bound to be right
00:12:02And again, there is no such thing as endo cryo what what?
00:12:06Endogenic cryomorphy
00:12:07Oh
00:12:08And of course none of you have heard of it because I just discovered it
00:12:12This condition only affects those with both chd and a peanut allergy
00:12:16The chances are a billion to one a hundred times rarer than winning the lottery
00:12:21But lucky for you all you've hit the jackpot by finding me
00:12:26What a bunch of baloney
00:12:27I mean you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good
00:12:32Precisely you are just a scamming prostitute you don't compare to meet us
00:12:38Who actually studied real medicine?
00:12:40I bet you were too poor to go to real medical school. Oh, so she went to the super circus
00:12:47instead
00:12:48And now she's here putting on this clown show coming up with fake diseases
00:12:52Which mean nothing if you can't wake him up is that supposed to be a challenge?
00:12:58Oh yeah
00:13:00If you three incompetent doormats want to show me up
00:13:04I think you all should grow parts of your brain back
00:13:06Which by the way that condition is called an encephaly
00:13:10What is that supposed to mean?
00:13:12It means you're being schooled by me and I'm about to walk all over your medical licensees
00:13:18Then let's have a bet
00:13:20If you can't heal him
00:13:23We'll break your hands
00:13:25And then you can't pretend to have healing hands anymore
00:13:32These hands have saved more lives than all three of you combined
00:13:36You're that desperate to get rid of your competition, huh?
00:13:39Miss Trixie, don't risk your hands for them
00:13:43There's too many lives at stake
00:13:46Don't worry, I got this
00:13:51It's a deal
00:13:53I'll save Lysander Armstrong
00:13:55No one is dying on my watch
00:14:02Lysander Armstrong has been in a vegetative state for two years
00:14:09Are you stopping me because you're scared I'd actually succeed?
00:14:13Homeless or not, if you save my son, I'll give you everything
00:14:25I'll even have Lysander, my heir, marry you
00:14:29I'm not doing this for the money or for a wealthy husband
00:14:32I just believe in helping good people and doing the right thing
00:14:36Prepare a jacuzzi set at exactly 113 degrees Fahrenheit
00:14:40Wait, wait, wait, wait, what for?
00:14:41Don't listen to her
00:14:43She probably stinks so bad that she just wants a bath to wash the homeless stench off of her
00:14:48Firstly, this is called greatness
00:14:52Secondly, even if you drown yourself in plastic surgery, you couldn't get rid of your own ugly moral character
00:15:00What did you just call me?
00:15:04There's a man's life at stake here and you're standing in my way
00:15:08Don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm
00:15:13Now stop getting in my way
00:15:14Or I promise you, you will be bubbling at the mouth very soon
00:15:18Oh yeah?
00:15:19Hey, you wanna see real pain?
00:15:21Where's the dog?
00:15:22Well, put down the dog!
00:15:23With pleasure
00:15:40Left leaves the wrong breast
00:15:46You don't deserve to call yourself a doctor
00:15:51She's been poisoned!
00:15:54It was her!
00:15:55Do you see any poison on me?
00:15:57Medicine in the right hands can save lives, but in the wrong hands, it becomes nothing but poison
00:16:03This bitch isn't good enough to take down the queen of medicine
00:16:07Do you have one of your antidotes on you?
00:16:09Of course
00:16:10I've saved entire civilizations with my antidotes
00:16:14If I want to save someone, even the grim reaper can't stop me
00:16:33Why is she spitting blood?
00:16:35This wasn't supposed to happen
00:16:36I thought you said even the grim reaper can't get in your way
00:16:39Angel herbalist
00:16:41This is what I call
00:16:43Malpractice
00:16:45This isn't fatal, she'll live
00:16:47But she deserves a little punishment
00:16:49Well, where's the jacuzzi I asked for?
00:16:52Jacuzzi is ready?
00:16:53Right this way
00:16:54Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what the hell is going on?
00:16:57You say you want your son to live on to give you tons of grandchildren, don't you?
00:17:01Then stop getting in my way, every second counts
00:17:06Let's go for a dip, shall we?
00:17:11General Armstrong, your family is the richest and most powerful in the nation
00:17:16Are you really gonna let this hobo slut touch your son?
00:17:20Hold on, you two are going in there alone?
00:17:24If you don't want these drooling vultures to see your son naked, then sure, invite everyone in
00:17:30All right, but I warn you, no funny business
00:18:08Hey guys, don't wake up, but you look just, hope so
00:18:11You will not get up
00:18:11I'm you
00:18:16Okay
00:18:17They are
00:18:18I'm
00:18:18Thank you
00:18:35you really shouldn't leave your precious son in there with that homeless con woman general
00:18:39armstrong exactly what if she gets pregnant by him she could blackmail you for millions
00:18:47that's what i would do if i was that poor and then the armstrong family will be the laughing
00:18:51stock of the nation held for ransom by a homeless woman dad you can't seriously be listening to that
00:18:58we have to have faith where did you actually find this little life
00:19:05on the streets are you shitting me you found this bum on the streets are you nuts you don't know
00:19:13her
00:19:13you don't know her background she could be a psychotic murder that is it general you have to
00:19:18go in and stop this now you're right that's it i'm shutting down this clown show right now
00:19:22james let's go yes sir
00:19:27oh my
00:19:42healer goddess hear my plea please save my child
00:20:03rod of a sepulius
00:20:32raise she is the healer goddess
00:20:36no please don't call me about it i'm just glad i could help
00:20:45here you go miss thank you
00:20:50why be way down by a throne when i can live amongst the common people and help those the most
00:20:54in need
00:21:07you must be rushing off to go find your jewels because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and
00:21:12run
00:21:15aww it's okay little guy
00:21:19i'll fix you right up
00:21:24right
00:21:25rewrites the wrong
00:21:29rejuvenate
00:21:34see good as the day you can kicking out of your mother's womb
00:21:40come on cleo let's go
00:21:57please my brother's been in a coma the last two years
00:22:01we have no idea what the illness is if anyone can help cure him we will pay you handsomely
00:22:06the elizander armstrong his military family basically owns the entire global stock market
00:22:12he's so hot
00:22:14does he come with the money
00:22:15yes he'll even marry you if you can cure him
00:22:18money fame power
00:22:20it's all yours
00:22:26are we still moving forward miss trixie
00:22:28yes give the presidential contract to marissa
00:22:32oh i have another call coming in
00:22:36grandma
00:22:36i'm dying save me trixie
00:22:40grandma
00:22:42grandma
00:22:42when are you getting married i'm already a hundred years old
00:22:47i'm gonna keep you healthy forever grandma
00:22:49and butch is still on deployment so that's why i haven't been married yet
00:22:55oh but why marry a vegetable when i can bang a younger stud like you
00:23:02we're talking about my brother's life i don't have time for jokes
00:23:15please go feed your dog miss don't let it starve like you
00:23:19oh kind stranger let me repay you by granting you a wish
00:23:23grant me a wish as you can barely feed yourself
00:23:26the downfall of humanity it all starts with the loss of faith
00:23:31what
00:23:31oh
00:23:33jeez this is giving me a migraine
00:23:35are you telling me to pray to god because we've been doing that
00:23:38i'm telling you to have some faith in me
00:23:41okay uh
00:23:43i wish for you to cure my brother's illness
00:23:46can you do that
00:23:47i can topple mountains and make a king out of a frog if i wanted to
00:23:51cleo stay right here for a second
00:23:53don't go too far cleo
00:23:58hold still
00:24:06my migraine's gone
00:24:07okay then let's go
00:24:09if you can cure my brother he'll even marry you
00:24:11come on
00:24:12come on
00:24:13oh
00:24:26how is he
00:24:28what is the diagnosis
00:24:29remember you will not marry him unless you cure him
00:24:32i'm sorry i don't know what this is
00:24:35aren't you the queen of medicine
00:24:36you're supposed to be one of the best
00:24:38don't worry general
00:24:39i'm the angel herbalist and i have mastered all healing methods of the east
00:24:44i can detect what condition your son has
00:24:47with just one needle
00:25:04i have no clue what this is
00:25:09oh it looks like the angel herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all
00:25:14that's why we saved the best for last
00:25:16me
00:25:17the witch doctor
00:25:18i'll save your son lysander
00:25:31he's not budging there's no movement
00:25:33truly i have saved thousands of patients all over the world but
00:25:37i don't know what this is
00:25:40lord i've scoured the earth for the best doctors they've tried all these methods and they've
00:25:45all failed
00:25:46if we can't save him
00:25:49there's only one person who can
00:25:51who
00:25:55the goddess of healing
00:25:59wait a second
00:26:00you're not talking about the legendary goddess you
00:26:03that's correct
00:26:03her right rewrites the wrong and her left leaves the bereft
00:26:09that's her motto
00:26:10it's what makes her a sage amongst mortals
00:26:13we are nothing compared to her
00:26:15she is eccentric and elusive
00:26:19no one has ever seen her before
00:26:20if this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my son
00:26:25i don't care if i go bankrupt
00:26:27i will find her
00:26:29james come
00:26:30put out a bounty
00:26:31to the entire world
00:26:33whoever finds the goddess healer
00:26:35i'll give her five million dollars
00:26:38there's no need
00:26:53i'll save your son
00:26:55who the hell is she
00:26:56dad
00:26:57she says she can cure lysander
00:26:58she's gonna save your brother
00:27:00don't be ridiculous
00:27:02how can this
00:27:03shit-stained hobo
00:27:05cure your brother
00:27:06exactly
00:27:06god the unemployed are getting crazier and crazier
00:27:10she's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich
00:27:13ew
00:27:14she even brought a filthy dog with her
00:27:16i bet it has fleas
00:27:18that flea-infested dirty thing
00:27:21is your companion
00:27:22don't try to steal lysander armstrong from us
00:27:29don't touch him
00:27:33they say don't judge a book by its cover
00:27:34but i can see from all your faces that you've failed
00:27:38so step aside
00:27:40i'll take it from here
00:27:41could you hold this
00:27:43oh oh oh oh
00:27:44you're not gonna touch my son
00:27:46i'm the richest tycoon in this country
00:27:49and a former general
00:27:50i know a gold-digging whore when i see one
00:27:53i bet she's only here because giving blowjobs on the street corners wasn't paying enough cash
00:27:58who knows what an unskilled poor girl like her would do for some
00:28:03a skinny-ass beggar trying to take advantage of lysander armstrong when he's unconscious
00:28:09ew
00:28:11disgusting
00:28:11go back to being a prostitute
00:28:13security
00:28:14get this std-infested peasant out of here now
00:28:18let's go
00:28:18if you throw me out
00:28:20you're tossing away your son's last chance at life
00:28:25sir
00:28:26we are at our wit's end trying to find a cure for master lysander and to no avail
00:28:30maybe we should give her a try
00:28:33you can always deal with her later if she turns out to be a fraud
00:28:36all right
00:28:37i'll give you a shot
00:28:38but i warn you if you fail i'll have your and your dog's head mounted on my wall
00:28:45is that any way to ask for help
00:28:48you'd be blessed to have me
00:28:50and i'm only here to repay your younger son's kindness
00:28:53but since i'm not welcome here
00:28:56i'll leave
00:28:58devon come find me when you have a different wish
00:29:00no miss trixie
00:29:02my brother is a hero to me
00:29:04i can't lose him
00:29:07well if he's a hero to you
00:29:10then that means he must be a good person
00:29:12my brother's a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack
00:29:17also he's great with puppies
00:29:21who says i want to marry him as if the number one hottest 30 under 30 would even dream of
00:29:28marrying a penniless bum like you
00:29:31only a lunatic would be crazy enough to marry her
00:29:33i mean look at her
00:29:34even if she cleaned herself up
00:29:36you couldn't find an ounce of femininity on her
00:29:40only those cut from the lowest ranks were bigger over such trivial matters
00:29:44continue wasting your time
00:29:45but i'm saving this patient
00:29:58okay
00:30:01what's happening
00:30:02what are we doing
00:30:16i knew she was a perv
00:30:18she's definitely trying to steal lysander from us
00:30:21do you all not know that sweat can tell you everything that's medically wrong with a patient
00:30:25are you insane security smash her face in for licking my son
00:30:30he's born with congenital heart disease has a peanut allergy and the condition he has is called
00:30:35endogenic cryomorphy
00:30:37yeah right i mean no way you got all that just from licking him
00:30:41oh okay i've studied every disease known to man right
00:30:44i even have the badge of universal medicine right here
00:30:48and i've never heard of endo cryo
00:30:52what what
00:30:55this
00:31:02is worth nothing when i have the real thing right here
00:31:05what
00:31:07what so you think that this crummy walking stick of yours is what
00:31:11the rod of a sepulius
00:31:13why don't you go back to the homeless asylum where you came from if you're going to be this delusional
00:31:18i agree
00:31:19i mean even if she does solve this medical mystery
00:31:22what is the point as of doctors who have studied for years
00:31:26we are all certified
00:31:28but lysander does have congenital heart disease
00:31:31she's right about everything
00:31:35yeah but if she just throws out a bunch of fake diagnosis
00:31:38one of them is bound to be right
00:31:40and again there is no such thing as endocryo what what
00:31:43endogenic cryomorphy
00:31:45oh
00:31:45and of course none of you have heard of it
00:31:47because i just discovered it
00:31:50this condition only affects those with both chd and a peanut allergy
00:31:54the chances are a billion to one
00:31:56a hundred times rarer than winning the lottery
00:31:58but lucky for you all
00:32:00you've hit the jackpot by finding me
00:32:03what a bunch of baloney
00:32:05i mean you wouldn't be homeless if you were
00:32:08actually any good
00:32:09precisely
00:32:10you are just a scamming prostitute
00:32:13you don't compare to meet us
00:32:15who actually studied real medicine
00:32:18i bet you were too poor to go to real medical school
00:32:22oh so she went to the super circus instead
00:32:25and now she's here putting on this clown show
00:32:28coming up with fake diseases
00:32:30which mean nothing
00:32:31if you can't wake him up
00:32:33is that supposed to be a challenge
00:32:35oh yeah
00:32:38if you three incompetent doormats want to show me up
00:32:41i think you all should grow parts of your brain back
00:32:44which by the way that condition is called an encephaly
00:32:48what is that supposed to mean
00:32:50it means you're being schooled by me
00:32:51and i'm about to walk all over your medical licensees
00:32:56then let's have a bet
00:32:58if you can't heal him
00:33:01we'll break your hands
00:33:03and then you can't pretend to have healing hands anymore
00:33:09these hands have saved more lives than all three of you combined
00:33:13you're that desperate to get rid of your competition
00:33:16huh
00:33:17miss trixie
00:33:18don't risk your hands for them
00:33:20there's too many lives at stake
00:33:24don't worry
00:33:25i got this
00:33:29it's a deal
00:33:30i'll save lysander armstrong
00:33:33no one is dying on my watch
00:33:40lysander armstrong has been in a vegetative state for two years
00:33:48are you stopping me because you're scared i'd actually succeed
00:33:51homeless or not
00:33:52if you save my son
00:33:53i'll give you everything
00:34:03i'll even have lysander my heir marry you
00:34:06i'm not doing this for the money or for a wealthy husband
00:34:09i just believe in helping good people and doing the right thing
00:34:14prepare a jacuzzi set at exactly 113 degrees fahrenheit
00:34:17wait wait wait what what for
00:34:19don't listen to her
00:34:21she probably stinks so bad that she just wants a bath to wash the homeless stench off of her
00:34:26firstly
00:34:28this is called greatness
00:34:30secondly
00:34:30even if you drown yourself in plastic surgery
00:34:33you couldn't get rid of your own ugly moral character
00:34:37what did you just call me
00:34:41there's a man's life at stake here
00:34:44and you're standing in my way
00:34:46don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm
00:34:50now stop getting in my way
00:34:52or i promise you
00:34:53you will be bubbling at the mouth very soon
00:34:56oh yeah
00:34:56hey you want to see real pain
00:34:58where's the dog
00:34:59well put down the dog
00:35:01with pleasure
00:35:18left leaves the wrong breast
00:35:24you don't deserve to call yourself a doctor
00:35:29she's been poisoned
00:35:31it was her
00:35:32do you see any poison on me
00:35:35medicine in the right hands can save lives
00:35:38but in the wrong hands
00:35:39it becomes nothing but poison
00:35:41this bitch isn't good enough to take down the queen of medicine
00:35:44do you have one of your antidotes on you
00:35:46of course
00:35:48i've saved entire civilizations with my antidotes
00:35:51if i want to save someone
00:35:53even the grim reaper can't stop me
00:36:11why is she spitting blood
00:36:12this wasn't supposed to happen
00:36:14i thought you said even the grim reaper can't get in your way
00:36:17angel herbalist
00:36:18this is what i call
00:36:21malpractice
00:36:23this isn't fatal
00:36:24she'll live
00:36:25but she deserves a little punishment
00:36:27well
00:36:28where's the jacuzzi i asked for
00:36:29jacuzzi is ready
00:36:30right this way
00:36:32wait wait wait wait wait wait
00:36:33what the hell is going on
00:36:35you say you want your son to live on
00:36:36to give you tons of grandchildren
00:36:38don't you
00:36:39then stop getting in my way
00:36:40every second counts
00:36:43let's go for a dip
00:36:45shall we
00:36:49general armstrong
00:36:50your family is the richest and most powerful in the nation
00:36:53are you really gonna let this hobo slut touch your son
00:36:58hold on
00:36:58you two are going in there
00:37:00alone
00:37:01if you don't want these drooling vultures to see your son naked
00:37:05then sure
00:37:06invite everyone in
00:37:08all right
00:37:09but i warn you
00:37:10no funny business
00:37:21you
00:38:23For millions.
00:38:25That's what I would do if I was that poor.
00:38:27And then the Armstrong family will be the laughingstock of the nation.
00:38:30Held for ransom by a homeless woman.
00:38:34Dad, you can't seriously be listening to that.
00:38:36We have to have faith.
00:38:38Where did you actually find this little life?
00:38:41Uh, on the streets.
00:38:45Are you shitting me?
00:38:47You found this bum on the streets?
00:38:49Are you nuts?
00:38:50You don't know her.
00:38:51You don't know her background.
00:38:52She could be a psychotic murderer.
00:38:54That is it, General.
00:38:55You have to go in and stop this now.
00:38:57You're right.
00:38:58That's it.
00:38:58I'm shutting down this clown show right now.
00:39:00James, let's go.
00:39:02Yes, sir.
00:39:05Oh, my God.
00:39:20Healer goddess, hear my plea.
00:39:23Please, please, save my child.
00:39:41Rod of a sepulius.
00:39:43Please, please, please, please, please.
00:40:10Praise.
00:40:11She is the healer goddess.
00:40:13No, please.
00:40:15Don't call me that.
00:40:17I'm just glad I could help.
00:40:23Here you go, miss.
00:40:27Why be weighed down by a throne when I can live amongst the common people and help those the most
00:40:31in need?
00:40:44You must be rushing off to go find your jewels, because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and
00:40:49run.
00:40:53Aw, it's okay, little guy.
00:40:56I'll fix you right up.
00:41:02Right rewrites the wrong.
00:41:07Rejuvenate.
00:41:12See?
00:41:12Good as the day you can kick him out of your mother's womb.
00:41:17Come on, Cleo.
00:41:18Let's go.
00:41:23Let's go.
00:41:35Please, my brother's been in a coma the last two years.
00:41:39We have no idea what the illness is.
00:41:41If anyone can help cure him, we will pay you handsomely.
00:41:44The Elizander Armstrong.
00:41:46His military family basically owns the entire global stock market.
00:41:50He's so hot.
00:41:52Does he come with the money?
00:41:53Yes.
00:41:54He'll even marry you if you can cure him.
00:41:56Money, fame, power.
00:41:58It's all yours.
00:42:04Are we still moving forward, Miss Trixie?
00:42:06Yes.
00:42:07Give the presidential contract to Marissa.
00:42:10Oh, I have another call coming in.
00:42:14Grandma!
00:42:14I'm dying!
00:42:16Save me, Trixie!
00:42:18Grandma?
00:42:20Grandma.
00:42:21When are you getting married?
00:42:22I'm already a hundred years old.
00:42:25I'm going to keep you healthy forever, Grandma.
00:42:27And Butch is still on deployment, so that's why I haven't been married yet.
00:42:33Oh, but why marry a vegetable when I can bang a younger stud like you?
00:42:40We're talking about my brother's life.
00:42:42I don't have time for jokes.
00:42:44Oh, no!
00:42:54Please go feed your dog, Miss.
00:42:56Don't let it starve like you.
00:42:57Oh, kind stranger.
00:42:59Let me repay you by granting you a wish.
00:43:01Grant me a wish?
00:43:02That you can barely feed yourself.
00:43:04The downfall of humanity.
00:43:06It all starts with the loss of faith.
00:43:09What?
00:43:09Oh, jeez, this is giving me a migraine.
00:43:13Are you telling me to pray to God because we've been doing that?
00:43:16I'm telling you to have some faith in me.
00:43:19Okay.
00:43:20Uh, I wish for you to cure my brother's illness.
00:43:24Can you do that?
00:43:25I can topple mountains and make a king out of a frog if I wanted to.
00:43:29Cleo, stay right here for a second.
00:43:31Don't go too far, Cleo.
00:43:36Hold still.
00:43:43What?
00:43:44My migraine's gone.
00:43:45Okay, then let's go.
00:43:47If you can cure my brother, he'll even marry you.
00:43:49Come on.
00:43:50Come on.
00:43:51Oh!
00:44:04How is he?
00:44:05What is the diagnosis?
00:44:07Remember, you will not marry him unless you cure him.
00:44:10I'm sorry.
00:44:11I don't know what this is.
00:44:12Aren't you the queen of medicine?
00:44:14You're supposed to be one of the best.
00:44:16Don't worry, General.
00:44:17I'm the angel herbalist and I have mastered all healing methods of the East.
00:44:22I can detect what condition your son has with just one needle.
00:44:43I have no clue what this is.
00:44:47Oh, it looks like the angel herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all.
00:44:52That's why we saved the best for last.
00:44:54Me, the witch doctor.
00:44:56I'll save your son, Lysander.
00:45:09He's not budging.
00:45:10There's no movement.
00:45:11Truly, I have saved thousands of patients all over the world, but I don't know what this is.
00:45:18Lord, I've scoured the earth for the best doctors.
00:45:20They've tried all these methods and they've all failed.
00:45:24If we can't save him, there's only one person who can.
00:45:29Who?
00:45:33The goddess of healing.
00:45:36Wait a second.
00:45:38You're not talking about the legendary goddess you...
00:45:40That's correct.
00:45:42Her right rewrites the wrong and her left leaves the bereft.
00:45:47That's her motto.
00:45:48It's what makes her a sage amongst mortals.
00:45:51We are nothing compared to her.
00:45:53She is eccentric and elusive.
00:45:57No one has ever seen her before.
00:45:58If this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my son, I don't care if I go
00:46:04bankrupt.
00:46:05I will find her.
00:46:06James, come put out a voucher to the entire world.
00:46:11Whoever finds the goddess healer will give her five million dollars.
00:46:16There's no need.
00:46:33Who the hell is she?
00:46:34Dad, she says she can cure Lysander.
00:46:37She's going to save your brother?
00:46:38Don't be ridiculous.
00:46:40How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
00:46:43Exactly.
00:46:44God, the unemployed are getting crazier and crazier.
00:46:48She's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich.
00:46:51Ew!
00:46:52She even brought a filthy dog with her.
00:46:54I bet it has fleas.
00:46:55Please, that flea-infested dirty thing is your companion.
00:47:00Don't try to steal Lysander Armstrong from us.
00:47:07Don't touch him.
00:47:10They say don't judge a book by its cover, but I can see from all your faces that you've failed.
00:47:16So step aside.
00:47:17I'll take it from here.
00:47:19Could you hold this?
00:47:20Oh, you're not going to touch my son.
00:47:24I'm the richest tycoon in this country and a former general.
00:47:28I know a gold-digging whore when I see one.
00:47:31I bet she's only here because giving blowjobs on the street corners wasn't paying enough cash.
00:47:36Who knows what an unskilled poor girl like her would do for some.
00:47:41A skinny-ass beggar trying to take advantage of Lysander Armstrong when he's unconscious?
00:47:47Ew!
00:47:48Disgusting.
00:47:49Go back to being a prostitute.
00:47:51Security!
00:47:52Get this STD-infested peasant out of here now.
00:47:55Let's go.
00:47:56If you throw me out, you're tossing away your son's last chance at life.
00:48:03Sir, we are at our wit's end trying to find a cure for Master Lysander and to no avail.
00:48:08Maybe we should give her a try?
00:48:11You can always deal with her later if she turns out to be a fraud.
00:48:14All right, I'll give you a shot.
00:48:17But I warn you, if you fail, I'll have your and your dog's head mounted on my wall.
00:48:23Is that any way to ask for help?
00:48:26You'd be blessed to have me.
00:48:28And I'm only here to repay your younger son's kindness.
00:48:31But since I'm not welcome here, I'll leave.
00:48:36Devin, come find me when you have a different wish.
00:48:38No.
00:48:39Miss Trixie, my brother is a hero to me.
00:48:42I can't lose him.
00:48:44Well, if he's a hero to you, then that means he must be a good person.
00:48:50My brother is a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
00:48:55Also, he's great with puppies.
00:48:56He'd make a great husband.
00:49:00Who says I want to marry him?
00:49:01As if the number one hottest 30 under 30 would even dream of marrying a penniless bum like you.
00:49:08Only a lunatic would be crazy enough to marry her.
00:49:11I mean, look at her.
00:49:12Even if she cleaned herself up, you couldn't find an ounce of femininity on her.
00:49:18Only those cut from the lowest ranks were bigger over such trivial matters.
00:49:22Continue wasting your time.
00:49:24But I'm saving this patient.
00:49:36Oh, okay.
00:49:39What's happening?
00:49:40What are we doing?
00:49:51Oh!
00:49:52What the hell are you doing?
00:49:54I knew she was a perv!
00:49:56She's definitely trying to steal Lysander from us.
00:49:59Do you all not know that sweat can tell you everything that's medically wrong with a patient?
00:50:02Are you insane?
00:50:04Security, smash her face in for licking my son.
00:50:08He's born with congenital heart disease, has a peanut allergy, and the condition he has is called endogenic cryomorphy.
00:50:15Yeah, right.
00:50:16I mean, no way you got all that just from licking him.
00:50:19Oh, okay.
00:50:20I've studied every disease known to man, right?
00:50:22I even have the badge of universal medicine right here.
00:50:26And I've never heard of endo-cryo-what-what?
00:50:32Hmm.
00:50:33This?
00:50:35Hmm.
00:50:40It is worth nothing when I have the real thing right here.
00:50:43What?
00:50:43Uh, what?
00:50:45So, so you think that this, this crummy walking stick of yours is, is what, the rod of a sepulis?
00:50:51Why don't you go back to the homeless asylum where you came from if you're going to be this delusional?
00:50:56I agree.
00:50:57I mean, even if she does solve this medical mystery, what is the point as of doctors who have studied
00:51:03for years?
00:51:04We are all certified.
00:51:06But Lysander does have congenital heart disease.
00:51:09She's right about everything.
00:51:13Yeah, but if she just throws out a bunch of fake diagnoses, one of them is bound to be right.
00:51:18And again, there is no such thing as endo-cryo-what-what!
00:51:21Endo-genic cryomorphine.
00:51:23Oh.
00:51:23And of course none of you have heard of it.
00:51:25Because I just discovered it.
00:51:28This condition only affects those with both CHD and a peanut allergy.
00:51:32The chances are a billion to one.
00:51:34A hundred times rarer than winning the lottery.
00:51:36But lucky for you all, you've hit the jackpot by finding me.
00:51:41What a bunch of baloney.
00:51:43I mean, you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good.
00:51:48Precisely.
00:51:48You are just a scamming prostitute.
00:51:51You don't compare to meet us who actually studied real medicine.
00:51:56I bet you were too poor to go to real medical school.
00:52:00Oh, so she went to the stripper circus instead.
00:52:03And now she's here putting on this clown show coming up with fake diseases, which mean nothing, if you can't
00:52:10wake him up.
00:52:11Is that supposed to be a challenge?
00:52:14Oh my God.
00:52:16If you three incompetent doormats want to show me up, I think you all should grow parts of your brain
00:52:21back.
00:52:22Which, by the way, that condition is called an encephaly.
00:52:26What is that supposed to mean?
00:52:27It means you're being schooled by me, and I'm about to walk all over your medical licensees.
00:52:33Then let's have a bet.
00:52:36If you can't heal him, we'll break your hands.
00:52:41And then you can't pretend to have healing hands anymore.
00:52:47These hands have saved more lives than all three of you combined.
00:52:51You're that desperate to get rid of your competition, huh?
00:52:55Miss Trixie, don't risk your hands for them.
00:52:58There's too many lives at stake.
00:53:02Don't worry.
00:53:03I got this.
00:53:06It's a deal.
00:53:08I'll save Lysander Armstrong.
00:53:10No one is dying on my watch.
00:53:18Lysander Armstrong has been in a vegetative state for two years.
00:53:25Are you stopping me because you're scared I'd actually succeed?
00:53:29Homeless or not, if you save my son, I'll give you everything.
00:53:41I'll even have Lysander, my heir, marry you.
00:53:44I'm not doing this for the money or for a wealthy husband.
00:53:47I just believe in helping good people and doing the right thing.
00:53:52Prepare a jacuzzi set at exactly 113 degrees Fahrenheit.
00:53:55Wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:53:56What for?
00:53:57Don't listen to her.
00:53:59She probably stinks so bad that she just wants a bath to wash the homeless stench off of her.
00:54:04Firstly, this is called greatness.
00:54:07Secondly, even if you drown yourself in plastic surgery,
00:54:11you couldn't get rid of your own ugly moral character.
00:54:15What?
00:54:16Did you just call me?
00:54:19There's a man's life at stake here, and you're standing in my way.
00:54:24Don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm.
00:54:27Now stop getting in my way, or I promise you, you will be bubbling at the mouth very soon.
00:54:34Oh, yeah?
00:54:35Hey, you want to see real pain?
00:54:36Where's the dog?
00:54:37Well, put down the dog!
00:54:39With pleasure.
00:54:55Left leaves the wrong breath.
00:55:01You don't deserve to call yourself a doctor.
00:55:06She's been poisoned!
00:55:09It was her!
00:55:10Do you see any poison on me?
00:55:13Medicine in the right hands can save lives, but in the wrong hands, it becomes nothing but poison.
00:55:19This bitch isn't good enough to take down the queen of medicine!
00:55:22Do you have one of your antidotes on you?
00:55:24Of course.
00:55:26I've saved entire civilizations with my antidotes.
00:55:29If I want to save someone, even the Grim Reaper can't stop me.
00:55:49Why is she spitting blood?
00:55:50This wasn't supposed to happen!
00:55:52I thought you said even the Grim Reaper can't get in your way, angel herbalist.
00:55:56This is what I call malpractice.
00:56:01This isn't fatal.
00:56:02She'll live.
00:56:03But she deserves a little punishment.
00:56:05Well, where's the jacuzzi I asked for?
00:56:07Jacuzzi is ready?
00:56:08Right this way.
00:56:10Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:56:11What the hell is going on?
00:56:12You say you want your son to live on to give you tons of grandchildren, don't you?
00:56:17Then stop getting in my way.
00:56:19Every second counts.
00:56:21Let's go for our dip, shall we?
00:56:26General Armstrong, your family is the richest and most powerful in the nation.
00:56:31Are you really going to let this hobo slut touch your son?
00:56:35Hold on.
00:56:36You two are going in there alone?
00:56:39If you don't want these drooling vultures to see your son naked, then sure, invite everyone in.
00:56:46All right.
00:56:47But I warn you, no funny business.
00:57:51You really shouldn't leave your precious son in there with that homeless conwoman,
00:57:54General Armstrong.
00:57:56Exactly.
00:57:56What if she gets pregnant by him?
00:57:59She could blackmail you for millions.
00:58:02That's what I would do if I was that poor.
00:58:04And then the Armstrong family will be the laughingstock of the nation.
00:58:08Held for ransom by a homeless woman.
00:58:11Dad, you can't seriously be listening to that.
00:58:14We have to have faith.
00:58:16Where did you actually find this little life?
00:58:21On the streets.
00:58:23Are you shitting me?
00:58:25You found this bomb on the streets?
00:58:27Are you nuts?
00:58:28You don't know her.
00:58:29You don't know her background.
00:58:30She could be a psychotic murder.
00:58:32That is it, General.
00:58:33You have to go in and stop this now.
00:58:34You're right.
00:58:35That's it.
00:58:36I'm shutting down this clown show right now.
00:58:38James, let's go.
00:58:39Yes, sir.
00:58:42Oh, my God.
00:58:57Healer goddess, hear my plea.
00:59:01Please save my child.
00:59:19Rod of a sepulis.
00:59:38Reach you in it.
00:59:47Praise.
00:59:48She is the healer goddess.
00:59:51No, please.
00:59:53Don't call me that.
00:59:55I'm just glad I could help.
01:00:00Here you go, miss.
01:00:05Why be weighed down by a throne
01:00:07when I can live amongst the common people
01:00:08and help those the most in need?
01:00:22You must be rushing off to go find your jewels
01:00:24because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and run.
01:00:30Aw, it's okay, little guy.
01:00:34I'll fix you right up.
01:00:40Right rewrites the wrong.
01:00:44Reach you in it.
01:00:49See?
01:00:50Good as the day you can kick him out of your mother's womb.
01:00:55Come on, Cleo.
01:00:56Let's go.
01:01:06Hey, hey, hey, hey.
01:01:11Hey, hey, hey, hey.
01:01:12Please.
01:01:13My brother's been in a coma the last two years.
01:01:17We have no idea what the illness is.
01:01:19If anyone can help cure him, we will pay you handsomely.
01:01:22The Elisander Armstrong. His military family basically owns the entire global stock market.
01:01:28He's so hot.
01:01:30Does he come with the money?
01:01:31Yes. He'll even marry you if you can cure him.
01:01:34Money, fame, power. It's all yours.
01:01:42Are we still moving forward, Miss Trixie?
01:01:44Yes. Give the presidential contract to Marissa.
01:01:47Oh, I have another call coming in.
01:01:52Grandma! I'm dying! Save me, Trixie!
01:01:56Grandma? Grandma.
01:01:58When are you getting married? I'm already a hundred years old.
01:02:02I'm going to keep you healthy forever, Grandma.
01:02:05And Butch is still on deployment, so that's why I haven't been married yet.
01:02:11Oh, but why marry a vegetable when I can bang a younger stud like you?
01:02:17You're talking about my brother's life. I don't have time for jokes.
01:02:22No!
01:02:31Please go feed your dog, Miss. Don't let it starve like you.
01:02:35Oh, kind stranger. Let me repay you by granting you a wish.
01:02:39Grant me a wish? As you can barely feed yourself.
01:02:42The downfall of humanity. It all starts with the loss of faith.
01:02:46What? Oh, Jesus. Giving me a migraine.
01:02:51Are you telling me to pray to God because we've been doing that?
01:02:54I'm telling you to have some faith in me.
01:02:57Okay, uh, I wish for you to cure my brother's illness.
01:03:01Can you do that?
01:03:02I can topple mountains and make a king out of a frog if I wanted to.
01:03:07Cleo, stay right here for a second.
01:03:09Don't go too far, Cleo.
01:03:14Hold still.
01:03:21What? My migraine's gone.
01:03:23Okay, then let's go.
01:03:25If you can cure my brother, he'll even marry you.
01:03:27Come on. Come on.
01:03:28Oh!
01:03:42How is he?
01:03:43What is the diagnosis?
01:03:45Remember, you will not marry him unless you cure him.
01:03:48I'm sorry. I don't know what this is.
01:03:50Aren't you the queen of medicine?
01:03:51You're supposed to be one of the best.
01:03:54Don't worry, General.
01:03:55I'm the angel herbalist, and I have mastered all healing methods of the East.
01:04:00I can detect what condition your son has with just one needle.
01:04:21I have no clue what this is.
01:04:24Oh, it looks like the angel herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all.
01:04:30That's why we saved the best for last.
01:04:32Me, the witch doctor.
01:04:34I'll save your son, Lysander.
01:04:46He's not budging.
01:04:47There's no movement.
01:04:48Truly, I have saved thousands of patients all over the world, but I don't know what this is.
01:04:55Lord, I've scoured the earth for the best doctors.
01:04:58They've tried all these methods, and they've all failed.
01:05:02If we can't save him, there's only one person who can.
01:05:07Who?
01:05:10The goddess of healing.
01:05:14Wait a second.
01:05:16You're not talking about the legendary goddess, you.
01:05:18That's correct.
01:05:19Her right rewrites the wrong, and her left leaves the bereft.
01:05:24That's her motto.
01:05:26It's what makes her a sage amongst mortals.
01:05:28We are nothing compared to her.
01:05:31She is eccentric and elusive.
01:05:34No one has ever seen her before.
01:05:36If this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my son, I don't care if I go
01:05:41bankrupt.
01:05:43I will find her.
01:05:44James, come put out a bounty to the entire world.
01:05:49Whoever finds the goddess healer will give her five million dollars.
01:05:53There's no need.
01:06:08I'll save your son.
01:06:11Who the hell is she?
01:06:12Dad, she says she can cure Lysander.
01:06:14She's going to save your brother?
01:06:16Don't be ridiculous.
01:06:18How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
01:06:21Exactly.
01:06:22God, the unemployed are getting crazier and crazier.
01:06:25She's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich.
01:06:29Ew!
01:06:29She even brought a filthy dog with her.
01:06:32I bet it has fleas.
01:06:34That flea-infested dirty thing is your companion.
01:06:38Don't try to steal Lysander Armstrong from us.
01:06:45Don't touch him.
01:06:48They say don't judge a book by its cover, but I can see from all your faces that you've failed.
01:06:53So step aside.
01:06:55I'll take it from here.
01:06:57Could you hold this?
01:06:59Oh, you're not going to touch my son.
01:07:02I'm the richest tycoon in this country and a former general.
01:07:06I know a gold-digging whore when I see one.
01:07:08I bet she's only here because giving blowjobs on the street corners wasn't paying enough cash.
01:07:14Who knows what an unskilled poor girl like her would do for some.
01:07:18A skinny-ass beggar trying to take advantage of Lysander Armstrong when he's unconscious?
01:07:25Ew!
01:07:26Disgusting.
01:07:27Go back to being a prostitute.
01:07:29Security!
01:07:30Get this STD-infested peasant out of here now.
01:07:33Let's go.
01:07:34If you throw me out, you're tossing away your son's last chance at life.
01:07:40Sir, we are at our wit's end trying to find a cure for Master Lysander and to no avail.
01:07:46Maybe we should give her a try?
01:07:48You can always deal with her later if she turns out to be a fraud.
01:07:52All right, I'll give you a shot.
01:07:54But I warn you, if you fail, I'll have your and your dog's head mounted on my wall.
01:08:01Is that any way to ask for help?
01:08:03You'd be blessed to have me.
01:08:05And I'm only here to repay your younger son's kindness.
01:08:09But since I'm not welcome here, I'll leave.
01:08:13Devin, come find me when you have a different wish.
01:08:16No, Miss Trixie.
01:08:18My brother is a hero to me.
01:08:19I can't lose him.
01:08:22Well, if he's a hero to you, then that means he must be a good person.
01:08:28My brother is a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
01:08:32Also, he's great with puppies.
01:08:34He'd make a great husband.
01:08:37Who says I want to marry him?
01:08:39As if the number one hottest 30 under 30 would even dream of marrying a penniless bum like you.
01:08:46Only a lunatic would be crazy enough to marry her.
01:08:48I mean, look at her.
01:08:50Even if she cleaned herself up, you couldn't find an ounce of femininity on her.
01:08:55Only those cut from the lowest ranks were bigger over such trivial matters.
01:09:00Continue wasting your time.
01:09:01But I'm saving this patient.
01:09:13Oh, okay.
01:09:16What's happening?
01:09:18What are we doing?
01:09:29What the hell are you doing?
01:09:32I knew she was a perv!
01:09:34She's definitely trying to steal Lysander from us.
01:09:37Do you all not know that sweat can tell you everything that's medically wrong with a patient?
01:09:40Are you insane?
01:09:41Security, smash her face in for licking my son.
01:09:45He's born with congenital heart disease, has a peanut allergy, and the condition he has is called endogenic cryomorphy.
01:09:53Yeah, right.
01:09:54I mean, no way you got all that just from licking him.
01:09:57Oh, okay.
01:09:58I've studied every disease known to man, right?
01:10:00I even have the badge of universal medicine right here.
01:10:04And I've never heard of endo-cryo-what-what?
01:10:11This?
01:10:18Is worth nothing when I have the real thing right here.
01:10:21What?
01:10:22What?
01:10:23So you think that this crummy walking stick of yours is what, the rod of a sepulius?
01:10:28Why don't you go back to the homeless asylum where you came from if you're going to be this delusional?
01:10:34I agree.
01:10:35I mean, even if she does solve this medical mystery, what is the point of doctors who have studied for
01:10:41years?
01:10:41We are all certified.
01:10:43But Lysander does have congenital heart disease.
01:10:47She's right about everything.
01:10:50Yeah, but if she just throws out a bunch of fake diagnoses, one of them is bound to be right.
01:10:55And again, there is no such thing as endo-cryo-what-what?
01:10:59Endogenic cryomorphy.
01:11:01Oh.
01:11:01And of course none of you have heard of it.
01:11:03Because I just discovered it.
01:11:05This condition only affects those with both CHD and a peanut allergy.
01:11:10The chances are a billion to one.
01:11:12A hundred times rarer than winning the lottery.
01:11:14But lucky for you all, you've hit the jackpot by finding me.
01:11:19What a bunch of baloney.
01:11:21I mean, you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good.
01:11:25Precisely.
01:11:26You are just a scamming prostitute.
01:11:29You don't compare to meet us who actually studied real medicine.
01:11:34I bet you were too poor to go to real medical school.
01:11:38Oh, so she went to the super circus instead.
01:11:41And now she's here putting on this clown show coming up with fake diseases,
01:11:45which mean nothing, if you can't wake him up.
01:11:49Is that supposed to be a challenge?
01:11:51Oh, yeah.
01:11:53If you three incompetent doormats want to show me up,
01:11:57I think you all should grow parts of your brain back.
01:12:00Which, by the way, that condition is called an encephaly.
01:12:03What is that supposed to mean?
01:12:05It means you're being schooled by me,
01:12:07and I'm about to walk all over your medical licensees.
01:12:11Then let's have a bet.
01:12:13If you can't heal him, we'll break your hands.
01:12:19And then you can't pretend to have healing hands anymore.
01:12:25These hands have saved more lives than all three of you combined.
01:12:29You're that desperate to get rid of your competition, huh?
01:12:32Miss Trixie, don't risk your hands for them.
01:12:36There's too many lives at stake.
01:12:39Don't worry. I got this.
01:12:44It's a deal.
01:12:46I'll save Lysander Armstrong.
01:12:48No one is dying on my watch.
01:12:55Lysander Armstrong has been in a vegetative state for two years.
01:13:03Are you stopping me because you're scared I'd actually succeed?
01:13:06Homeless or not, if you save my son, I'll give you everything.
01:13:18I'll even have Lysander, my heir, marry you.
01:13:22I'm not doing this for the money or for a wealthy husband.
01:13:25I just believe in helping good people and doing the right thing.
01:13:29Prepare a jacuzzi set at exactly 113 degrees Fahrenheit.
01:13:33Wait, wait, wait, wait. What for?
01:13:35Don't listen to her.
01:13:37She probably stinks so bad that she just wants a bath to wash the homeless stench off of her.
01:13:42Firstly, this is called greatness.
01:13:45Secondly, even if you drown yourself in plastic surgery, you couldn't get rid of your own ugly moral character.
01:13:53What? Did you just call me?
01:13:57There's a man's life at stake here, and you're standing in my way.
01:14:02Don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm.
01:14:06Now stop getting in my way, or I promise you, you will be bubbling at the mouth very soon.
01:14:11Oh, yeah?
01:14:12Yeah, you want to see real pain? Where's the dog?
01:14:15Well, put down the dog!
01:14:16With pleasure.
01:14:33Left leaves the wrong breath.
01:14:39You don't deserve to call yourself a doctor.
01:14:44She's been poisoned!
01:14:47It was her!
01:14:48Do you see any poison on me?
01:14:51Medicine in the right hands can save lives, but in the wrong hands, it becomes nothing but poison.
01:14:57This bitch isn't good enough to take down the queen of medicine!
01:15:00Do you have one of your antidotes on you?
01:15:02Of course.
01:15:03I've saved entire civilizations with my antidotes.
01:15:07If I want to save someone, even the Grim Reaper can't stop me.
01:15:26Why is she spitting blood?
01:15:28This wasn't supposed to happen!
01:15:30I thought you said even the Grim Reaper can't get in your way, angel herbalist.
01:15:34This is what I call malpractice.
01:15:38This isn't fatal.
01:15:40She'll live.
01:15:40But she deserves a little punishment.
01:15:43Well, where's the jacuzzi I asked for?
01:15:45Jacuzzi is ready?
01:15:46Right this way.
01:15:47Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:15:49What the hell is going on?
01:15:50You say you want your son to live on to give you tons of grandchildren, don't you?
01:15:54Then stop getting in my way.
01:15:56Every second counts.
01:15:59Let's go for a dip, shall we?
01:16:04General Armstrong, your family is the richest and most powerful in the nation.
01:16:09Are you really going to let this hobo slut touch your son?
01:16:13Hold on.
01:16:14You two are going in there alone?
01:16:17If you don't want these drooling vultures to see your son naked, then sure, invite everyone in.
01:16:23All right, but I warn you, no funny business.
01:17:09Let's go for a dip.
01:17:28You really shouldn't leave your precious son in there with that homeless conwoman, General Armstrong.
01:17:33Exactly.
01:17:34What if she gets pregnant by him?
01:17:36She could blackmail you for millions.
01:17:40That's what I would do if I was that poor.
01:17:42And then the Armstrong family will be the laughingstock of the nation.
01:17:46Held for ransom by a homeless woman.
01:17:49Dad, you can't seriously be listening to that.
01:17:52We have to have faith.
01:17:54Where did you actually find this little knife?
01:17:57Uh, on the streets.
01:18:00Are you shitting me?
01:18:02You found this bum on the streets?
01:18:04Are you nuts?
01:18:05You don't know her.
01:18:06You don't know her background.
01:18:08She could be a psychotic murderer.
01:18:10That is it, General.
01:18:11You have to go in and stop this now.
01:18:12You're right.
01:18:13That's it.
01:18:13I'm shutting down this clown show right now.
01:18:16James, let's go.
01:18:17Yes, sir.
01:18:21Oh, my God.
01:18:21Oh, my God.
01:18:22Oh, my God.
01:18:23Oh, my God.
01:18:25Oh, my God.
01:18:27Oh, my God.
01:18:27Oh, my God.
01:18:27Oh, my God.
01:18:27Oh, my God.
01:18:27Oh, my God.
01:18:29Oh, my God.
01:18:31Oh, my God.
01:18:32Oh, my God.
01:18:35You
Comments