- 6 hours ago
Animal Control S04E12 (2026) [xa6yram] [Full Movie] [High Quality]Full EP - Full
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00:01Good morning, Seattle, and welcome to Old Town's 17th annual Wiener Parade!
00:07We've got boot trucks, we've got marching bands, and of course, the Wiener Queen!
00:12At 17 years old, Her Majesty is the longest living wiener in Washington's history!
00:17I don't like one bit of this. Something feels off.
00:20I just say that every time we experience whimsy.
00:23No, a parade is no place for whimsy. Whimsy is for college improv teams before they all have sex with
00:27each other, ruining the dynamic.
00:28James, this is Ace. I've got a pocket queen. Check in. Does everything go prosthetic?
00:32No, it's your worst nightmare, Frank. People are having fun.
00:34Yeah, everything's cool. There's all that and a bag of chips.
00:38You want to eat something, Vince?
00:44Put your hands together for the memorial high school marching band, the Fighting Badgers!
00:50For the love of God, no. Dachshunds hunt badgers. It's in their DNA, along with short legs and back problems.
00:59Take your head off! Show him you're a man!
01:03Take your head off!
01:06Take him! I need to take him!
01:11Where are you?
01:12I lost the queen. She's old and blind. She doesn't stand a chance.
01:16I got eyes on the queen. Unfortunately, she's in the middle of a sausage party, and we're all invited.
01:21I saved the queen! I mean, it's a dog, but still! Dressed like a queen! It's peeing all over me!
01:30Excited for the Animal Control Officer of the Year award weekend in Bellingham!
01:35Are you going to be like this for the entire two-hour bus ride?
01:38Well, I for one am jazzed, because two of our cootie nominees hail from our very own precinct.
01:43We have Frank Shaw.
01:44Yeah!
01:47And Templeton Dunn.
01:50Future winners get the board of the bus first!
01:52Let's bring home that hard win, T-Rofy!
01:54You know, there's a world where Templeton's compression socks cut the blood off to his heart, and I win by
01:58default.
01:59Frank, I'm really excited to watch you. Glad hand on the campaign trail, but I do have one note.
02:03Too handsome?
02:03Yeah, it's a curse I've had to deal with most of my life since a very successful puberty.
02:07We need to talk handshakes.
02:08You come from a time when it was fun to squeeze hard, but that's not where we're at now.
02:12Yeah, see that? That's crazy!
02:14I need you to win the Golden Moose so that Templeton doesn't, because I know him, and he's going to
02:17try and leverage a win to take over the precinct.
02:19So, no pressure, but I need you at your most charming and least offensive.
02:22Well, it's tricky because people find my offensiveness charming.
02:25If he takes over, I mean, it's going to be a nuclear winter.
02:27Forced overtimes, creepy one-on-one performance reviews.
02:29And say goodbye to riddle of the day!
02:32Uh, riddle of the day is the first thing to go.
02:34After that, we're going gender-specific uniforms, girls in skirts, boys in shorts.
02:42Are you leaving for good?
02:44Supplies for my annual cocktail party.
02:45We had a huge crowd for Speakeasy for Sheezy last year.
02:48This year's theme is Freaky Tiki. I don't know what to expect.
02:51I'm loving a Cootie Patel, man.
02:5348 hours away from the family, so full of life.
02:55It's a little glimpse of what could have been, brother.
02:57Okay, no flaming cocktails, though, because after the fire that Victoria started last year, we're kind of on thin ice
03:01with the menu.
03:02Um, you neglect to mention me saving all of our co-workers by pulling the fire alarm, all without spilling
03:06my margarita al fuego.
03:07Thanks to you, I spent the evening shivering on the sidewalk.
03:10Yeah, because you ripped your shirt off as you were running down the hallway.
03:12That was for speed.
03:13Look, I'm sure it was an accident, sort of, but you know you're banned from the hotel, right?
03:17No, no, no. I'm banned from booking a room at the hotel.
03:20That doesn't mean that I can't find someone to crash with.
03:22And this is like the horniest animal control weekend of the year.
03:24I'm sure someone will take an astray.
03:26All right, let's get everyone on the bus.
03:31Welcome, everybody. I'm Wayne Peters, and I'm running this year's cooties.
03:34Quick administrative housekeeping note.
03:36I've noticed a few officers walking around in these What Happens in Bellingham t-shirts.
03:41This is a work event, and we do not want a repeat of last year.
03:45No, we do not. You?
03:47Because what happens in Bellingham can wind up on your professional record.
03:50Okay, let's go get them.
03:53Meantime, cocktails and so forth. Enjoy yourselves.
03:57Hey, so I haven't checked in yet. Should we try to get conjoining rooms?
04:01What? No, of course not. Didn't you hear what Wayne said? This is still work.
04:05Wait, so everybody's gonna hook up with a co-worker here except for us?
04:08Exactly.
04:11Morgan from Oregon. Oh, I barely recognize you with that pretty dress. Get out of here, girl.
04:15Jerry! Hey, congrats on the empty nest, brother.
04:18How my kids are doing great, though? I got one in travel soccer, the other one's doing debate.
04:22Wait, what am I talking about my kids at a party?
04:24Big thing you know, I'll be trying to show you pictures of my baby eating with a fork.
04:28It is pretty cute, though.
04:31Hey, cheers to last year's a cootie winner.
04:34Did they put you up in a penthouse?
04:35No, just a garden unit.
04:37Tell me more about this unit.
04:38It's pretty nice. It's got one of those retractable clotheslines in the shower and everything.
04:42My clothes get so wet.
04:43And he looks confident.
04:45I was a nervous wreck this time last year, and I didn't even have to write a speech.
04:48Wait, Frank has to give a speech?
04:50Yeah.
04:51Can I talk to you out here for a second?
04:52Okay, everybody here is going nuts on each other.
04:56On the walk over, every other door had a do not disturb sign on.
04:59Just try not to think about it. You know, enjoy the party.
05:02Okay, yeah, this is rough.
05:03He was really getting in there.
05:05Yeah.
05:05You can count on the guy that rescued 24 animals in 24 hours.
05:09Hey, um, did you know that you have to make a speech tomorrow night?
05:12Yeah, acceptance.
05:13No, this is a speech about what being an animal control officer means to you, and it's a new thing
05:17this year.
05:18Whoa, wait, wait.
05:18You have to give a speech and you didn't know about it?
05:20Guys, I know that I have to give a speech.
05:22Now, if you'll excuse me.
05:27Are you enjoying the party?
05:29Damn it, if you'll excuse me.
05:30Okay.
05:32Yoo-hoo!
05:33Hello, Erin, do you mind if I just jump in here real quick?
05:35That was like calm all over again.
05:38But don't take my word for it.
05:40Take mine.
05:43Confirming you can still see the teleprompter with the video?
05:45I don't need it.
05:46I memorized this three weeks ago.
05:47I have a photographic memory.
05:48That's why women don't change in front of me.
05:50Yeah, that's one of the reasons why.
05:52You kept the speech requirement from me?
05:53I did.
05:54When I took over your desk, I started intercepting your emails.
05:57Oh, your dentist says happy birthday, by the way.
06:00I lost a molar because I didn't get that appointment reminder.
06:02I don't think you're gonna be smiling anyway,
06:04sputtering improvised sentence fragments in front of a full room of your very judgmental peers.
06:08Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a fitting,
06:10because you just ruined my rehearsal.
06:12We're done.
06:13The 2-3 is coming for you.
06:14Are you afraid?
06:15Because you should be.
06:17No, I'm not afraid.
06:19Stop it.
06:20Stop.
06:20Stop.
06:29Hi.
06:30Oh, if it isn't the almost arsonist of Bellingham.
06:33Oh, I can't talk right now.
06:35I'm writing the speech.
06:37I just hit a flow state.
06:38Oh, let's see what's flowed out of you so far.
06:41Well, the faucet's not fully cranked.
06:43What does job mean to Frank?
06:45Uh, Templeton really screwed you over.
06:46You might as well do your go-to and rip your shirt off,
06:48because you're not gonna win people over with this.
06:50I just started an hour ago.
06:52I'll tell you what.
06:53I'll help you with your speech.
06:55You let me crash here.
06:56So your alley cat and heat strategy didn't work on anyone?
06:59You know what?
06:59I think I've underestimated the emotional trauma
07:02escaping a burning building leaves on people.
07:04And I bought these to sweeten the deal.
07:06Screwtops.
07:07Way to go.
07:08Hey.
07:12Thanks for meeting me here.
07:13I know it's not the honeymoon suite, but, you know, it's ours.
07:20Okay, why are you kissing me like I'm your grandmother?
07:24Okay, I know.
07:25This whole thing is hard.
07:27Yeah, it is.
07:28You won't come to my room, but we have to meet in, like,
07:30the coldest place in the hotel.
07:32You know I hate it too, but there's nothing we can really do about it.
07:34Yeah, but there is, though.
07:36You said we could tell people two months ago, and it's been four months.
07:39Okay, well, the two month thing was just kind of like an estimate.
07:41It's just starting to feel like maybe you don't want people to know
07:44because I'm not worth the risk.
07:46Like...
07:46What?
07:47That you don't think this can actually work.
07:50Ugh, this is hopeless.
07:53No, you just, you have to hook people emotionally.
07:56That's the only way to win them over because people are stupid
07:59and they're ruled by their dumb hearts.
08:00I've spent a lifetime bottling up my feelings.
08:03Want me to spill it to these plebs?
08:04Yes, give me a good sob story.
08:07Ugh, this is so beneath me.
08:12I had an awful dog named Buddy.
08:14Okay, not a great start.
08:15Here's the sad part.
08:16My mom got sick.
08:18Great, we're getting somewhere.
08:19Okay, let me write this down.
08:20And I don't know how, but Buddy sensed that I needed him,
08:25and he turned into the sweetest guy.
08:29And on the morning my mom died, Buddy wouldn't leave my side.
08:33He knew...
08:34My pain.
08:37Animals are amazing.
08:39Growing up, my bird always knew when I was high.
08:43Every time.
08:46He was the best.
08:47Sometimes when I'm in the field and I see a dog that looks like Buddy,
08:51it reminds me of how great animals are to us.
08:56And I want to try my best with them.
08:59Unless the Buddy lookalike is a rabbit, and then, of course, I keep my distance.
09:04I don't think I've ever heard you talk like an actual person before.
09:08Please do not tell anyone what has transpired here.
09:13I'm going to tell everyone.
09:20Frank! Frank, are you pooping? I need you, man!
09:25What is it?
09:26Hey, ma'am, me and Emily had a fight and I just...
09:30I need a bro to lean on right now.
09:31Wait, what happened? Is Emily okay?
09:33Ah, she's fine. I'm distraught.
09:36I'm sorry. Do you mind? I think the boys need the room.
09:39Okay.
09:44I... I will... text you the speech.
09:49Oh, love.
09:53Emily!
09:54Take off your sleep apnea mask and turn off your rainforest soundscape.
09:57I need to sleep.
09:58And I want to make sure you're okay.
10:01Do you mind shutting the hell up?
10:03Uh, yeah, I do mind, actually, because I have nowhere to go,
10:06and nobody wants to have seats with me, which never happens, so...
10:16Fine. You can bunk with me. Yes.
10:17But I'm a very active sleeper, so don't crowd me or you might get punched.
10:35Daddy!
10:37Hi. Are you okay?
10:39Hi. Uh, what are you guys doing here?
10:42Let's go to the table.
10:43Let's go to the table.
10:43Hi, kids. I miss you so much.
10:45Oh, my God, you'll love this place.
10:47You have to come.
10:48I mean, I'm telling you, the only thing that's good about my life is my family.
10:51Guys, Daddy, uh...
10:52I had a lot to drink last night. Can we just...
10:55Thank you, Raquel St. James and Lieutenant Peaches.
10:58Uh, I'd also like to ask everyone else, please act respectfully to the nominees.
11:02It takes a lot of courage to get up here.
11:05Stop saying moose. It sounds like you're booing.
11:07Let's keep this a cootie train moving, huh?
11:10With our next nominee, Templeton Dutch, who has asked me to issue a strobe light warning to pregnant women and
11:16the weak.
11:18Pay attention. You might learn something.
11:22Cue the fog.
11:31Daisy, cut the fog.
11:34I had a feast for the eyes plan, but tonight's about the animals.
11:37So I want to speak from the heart.
11:40Growing up, I had an awful dog named Buddy.
11:43Then, my mom got sick.
11:45No.
11:46Cue the strings.
11:48What the hell's happening?
11:50I...
11:50And it's like he knew that I needed him.
11:54He turned into the sweetest guy.
11:57And when my mom died, he...
11:59He never left my side that day.
12:01First he steals my bear rescue, then he steals my desk, and now he steals my dead mom.
12:06Sometimes when I'm in a field and I see a dog that looks like Buddy, I'm reminded of all the
12:10great things that animals do for us.
12:11So I try to do my best for them.
12:20That's my slop.
12:21You fed you my slop.
12:23Let me get my slop.
12:24Daisy must have stolen it off my phone.
12:27I sure did. I put that sleeping mug up to the face ID.
12:30Two, three, four, live.
12:34Let's bring up our final nominee.
12:36Frankie Frankshaw.
12:38Yeah!
12:39I was supposed to follow that.
12:40That was great.
12:40I said following myself.
12:42Woo-hoo!
12:44Woo-hoo!
12:46Woo-hoo!
12:48Woo-hoo!
13:01Woo-hoo!
13:02Woo-hoo!
13:05This is like watching an old man get confused at the post office.
13:08We're screwed.
13:09Seriously, you just gave me the award.
13:11He's got nothing.
13:12I win them.
13:13Guys.
13:16Frank, this is not the time.
13:18Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
13:20Fuck, I was joking when I see Tangled.
13:21Oh, shit.
13:22Oh, God, I can't watch.
13:23Is he getting naked?
13:25Oh, there it is.
13:30This guy's jacked!
13:32Woo-hoo!
13:34Woo-hoo!
13:38Woo-hoo!
13:39Woo-hoo!
13:41Woo-hoo!
13:41Woo-hoo!
13:42Woo-hoo!
13:43Woo-hoo!
13:44Woo-hoo!
13:46Woo-hoo!
13:47Woo-hoo!
13:47And the Animal Control Officer of the Year is...
13:53...Frank Shaw!
13:54...Frank Shaw!
13:55Yeah!
13:57Woo-hoo!
13:59Woo-hoo!
14:02Woo-hoo!
14:03Woo-hoo!
14:03Once again, the hedonistic spirit of Melian has spoken to me.
14:06Woo-hoo!
14:07Officer Shaw.
14:09Woo-hoo!
14:12Thank you for sitting in your way!
14:14Woo-hoo!
14:17Woo-hoo!
14:17Hey, gentlemen, a few more bounces?
14:20Woo-hoo!
14:21Woo-hoo!
14:22Woo-hoo!
14:30hi hi so i didn't hear my name in your acceptance speech which is crazy because i'm basically
14:36why you want my dedication to pro team is why i want but thank you i think i saw the
14:41portland
14:41team walking each other on leashes tracks with people from oregon this thing gets messier every
14:46year yeah things happen here that maybe wouldn't happen at home did you find a place to crash
14:55tonight yeah uh table 12 grabbed me some molly so i think i'm just gonna dance until i pick up
15:00time
15:00tomorrow hey you got my text i was worried you weren't gonna come hotel rooms are off
15:16limits but tiny little photo booths are okay i'm sorry that was i didn't mean it that sounded bad
15:22no no i've i've been thinking a lot about what you said and i'm really sorry because the truth is
15:30you
15:30are just in every way completely definitely worth the risk so i'm gonna call my boss first thing on
15:39monday wait really yeah because i well i love you and i just want to be with you i love
15:50you too
15:51you sure you want to do this yeah
15:59okay okay let's just stagger our entrances to be safe because we're so close so let's not mess up
16:03home stretch monday okay i'll be good for my passport photo
16:13good to see you good to see you
16:25this is bad this is really bad
16:29i heard they're serving sherbet in a few minutes
16:35something bad happened
16:40how fast can we turn that into a poster business center's open 24 7
16:48kids are finally asleep who's ready to party
16:54what oh god it's way i'm getting fired oh my god this is it i have to do something
17:00don't worry i'm gonna save you
17:04you are fire come on this way this way the exit this way
17:09i thought i knew where this was
17:26feels right
17:27mm-hmm hey congrats again frank and i don't say it enough but
17:31you're my hero man you say it all the time
17:34now ditch that wobbly hall table and reclaim your desk
17:37really in fact all shall return to their proper desks now that i've vanquished the pale
17:44muscularly at the feet beast normalcy is returned
17:48thank god the napping was no good under this desk
17:54hey um can i have everyone's attention i have a little
17:58announcement um due to my relations with shred um
18:02yeah i've been suspended um pending an investigation what
18:07but i consented it's okay i consented to the whole thing
18:10yeah um this means there'll be a an interim supervisor
18:13filling my position until um yeah further notice
18:16who's taking over uh yeah it's um
18:31i guess i did die in that dachshund parade
18:33i'm in hell
18:34and i'm still your god
18:36will you be the devil
18:37will i be your boss
18:45meeting meetings won't be the same without you
18:46he's already threatening to ban meeting snacks
18:48come on it's not goodbye guys it's see you later
18:52pending a thorough investigation and ethics board review and reinstatement confirmation
18:56from mayor's office
18:57i just hope they don't subpoena our texts
18:59i sent you that jessica rabbit gift on your birthday
19:01i can't
19:02you're gonna be fine
19:02and in the meantime we'll make templeton's life as hellish as possible
19:06i've already started
19:08daisy grab me a tire jack
19:11flat again
19:12wait is this what it's like to not be the boss
19:14i kind of like it
19:15can i throw something
19:16i'd be disappointed if you didn't
19:19okay
19:25i've never respected you more
19:27do you want to make a lot of money
19:28do you want to make a lot of money
19:28do you want to make a lot of money
19:28do you want to make a lot of money
19:28do you want to make a lot of money
19:28do you want to make a lot of money
19:29do you want to make a lot of money
19:29do you want to make a lot of money
19:29do you want to make a lot of money
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