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Watch Waiting for the Out Episode Season 1 Episode 6 online in HD on Dailymotion (2026).
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00:04Best MDMA in Berlin, Dan, and take it from me, the MDMA in this city right now is, I mean,
00:10it's excellent.
00:12Have you ever read Primo Levi's essay on shame?
00:19He wrote it 40 years after leaving Auschwitz.
00:22He was trying to make sense of why he survived and others didn't, but he couldn't.
00:28A year later, he threw himself from the landing of the house that he was born in and fell three
00:32floors to his death.
00:36Dan, we're here. On a rooftop. In Berlin. The sun is setting. This club is gorgeous.
00:44And there is no one here who is not a grade one decent human being.
00:48There will never come a better time for you to drop a pill than this exact moment.
00:56Shall I just leave her?
00:58Well, you've never drunk or taken drugs. Half is sensible.
01:02But you did just bring her suicide.
01:04And the Holocaust.
01:06In a nightclub.
01:08So.
01:10And the Holocaust.
01:10And the Holocaust.
01:19So.
01:20And.
01:50Your eyes!
01:51I literally just thought your eyes was good.
01:54Oh my God.
01:55Your hands.
01:56How does it feel?
01:58It's real good.
01:59Yeah?
02:47I literally just thought your eyes was good.
03:18I literally just thought your eyes was good.
03:20Yeah.
03:24This is the best juice I've ever tasted.
03:28What?
03:31Oh my God, that's amazing.
03:32Do you want to say?
03:35Do you not hear any of what I just said?
03:39What are you talking?
03:40Oh my God.
03:43Yes.
03:44I've been talking for about two minutes.
03:47Sorry.
03:52Seriously, this juice though, why is it so good?
03:54Mm-hmm.
03:58Mm-hmm.
04:25I don't know.
04:55I don't know.
05:27I don't know.
05:28I don't know.
05:37I don't know.
05:42I don't know.
05:57I don't know.
06:24How was it, Berlin?
06:26It was amazing.
06:28I felt better there than I felt in years.
06:31Good.
06:31That's good.
06:32You deserve that.
06:34It won't be long.
06:36It's just so good at getting Dean down.
06:38It drives me nuts, to be honest.
06:45Have you heard from the Governor yet?
06:49I'm expecting a call any day now.
06:52I really should get a lawyer.
06:54You haven't got a lawyer yet?
06:58Dan, you need to get a lawyer.
07:00Yeah, I know.
07:01Dan, get a lawyer.
07:06Can't bury your head with this.
07:07This is going to get real very soon.
07:09Yeah, I know.
07:09It's just...
07:17Lee told you how we met, right?
07:19Yeah.
07:21You met in recovery?
07:24Yeah.
07:24Did he tell you how I ended up in recovery?
07:27No.
07:28I mean, he said that something happened, but he didn't say what.
07:33Well, I used to work as a prison officer, you know that.
07:36And I was on a young offenders unit, which...
07:39They're the worst.
07:41Just...
07:42Testosterone raging.
07:44Teens trying to prove themselves.
07:47One day, in the chapel, I'm trying to break up a fight between three lads.
07:53I get caught in the middle, pushed to the ground, and they turned on me.
08:00Kicked me in the head.
08:02In the face, ribs, kidneys.
08:05And then eight other lads ran over and joined in.
08:11Jesus Christ, Laura.
08:13Yeah.
08:15Yeah, so I was bedridden, and they put me on codeine for the pain.
08:22And then when I did go back, well, I hadn't seen the faces of the lads who jumped in.
08:30So every time I'm with one of them, part of me is thinking, was it you?
08:38So I just fell deeper into codeine and fell too deep to get out.
08:47Thing is, I...
08:49I hated those boys.
08:54But I also found it hard to blame them.
09:00I mean, most of them had called me mum, by mistake, at some time or another, and I just...
09:08I just couldn't do it no more, Dan.
09:12I was...
09:14neither one thing nor the other.
09:21It's being split that kills you.
09:31Jesus Christ.
09:35I had no idea that that happened to you, Laura.
09:39What am I gonna do?
09:41Carry it round with me for the rest of my life?
09:48Down, boo-fucking-yah.
09:50God, you are so annoying.
09:51Well, what can I say? The boy loves his daddy.
09:54You coming?
10:03See you later.
10:03Right.
10:08So, you finally took drugs, eh?
10:10Did you like it?
10:12Yes, he likes it.
10:15So, you go abroad, drop a knee, come back, start baking.
10:20Yeah, it's the new me.
10:21It was either that or learn Sanskrit.
10:25And this baking, did it involve using your oven by any chance?
10:29It did, yeah.
10:31I used my oven.
10:33And?
10:34And it took me an hour and fifteen minutes to get out of the house.
10:39I had to wait for the cooker to get ice cold before I could walk out.
10:43Damn.
10:47All right.
10:48Here's what you do.
10:50You're going out, right?
10:52You pull a table in front of your oven, you put everything you need on it.
10:55Phone, wallet, keys, all of it.
10:57Get ready, take a shit, crafty wank, whatever.
11:01Then you go back to that table and you put each one of those things in your pocket.
11:04Then, you touch each gas ring once.
11:07You look in the oven once.
11:09You look in the grill once.
11:11Just once.
11:12You don't do anything more than once.
11:14And then you say goodbye and good fuck and you walk out that door.
11:18And then, and Dan, this is the most important bit.
11:22You do not come back.
11:28That sounds like surprisingly good advice.
11:34Thanks.
11:37You're not inside yet, Dan.
11:40You got your case, defence, appeals.
11:45You take it one step at a time, yeah?
11:56You're looking better.
11:59I'm back in the meetings.
12:00Doing what I need to do, you know?
12:04And you?
12:11Do you remember the, um,
12:14the prisoner that I told you about that your dad's padded me?
12:18You're not talking to him again, are you?
12:20No, no, no.
12:22I want suspension.
12:23I couldn't even if I wanted to.
12:28But he told me that the guy got released.
12:33I checked the dates.
12:36And I know who he is.
12:39His name is Matthew Hall.
12:43I've arranged to meet him this afternoon.
12:51Okay.
12:52But I wish that I could walk away.
12:54I, I wish I could just move on like you and Laura, but I can't.
13:00Mum says that I love the man that I know I hated.
13:02How can I move on?
13:05We want you to be Dean's godfather.
13:09Me and Laura were getting him christened.
13:11We want you to be the godfather.
13:14But he needs stability, Dan.
13:16He needs a godparent who can walk out the door and meet him on time.
13:20Who isn't obsessed by a man who tossed him aside like a huge snot rag 25 years ago.
13:38Don't go and see this guy.
13:39Just walk away, yeah?
13:41Just walk away now.
13:57Good.
13:59Good.
14:01Good.
14:05.
14:06.
14:12.
14:18I don't know.
14:44Who's that?
14:46Uh, hello?
14:49Is that Matthew?
14:51Matty.
14:52Matty, um,
14:54it's, my name's Dan Stewart.
14:56We spoke on the phone.
14:58You're fucking late.
14:59I know, sorry, I was late.
15:02I've been fucking waiting for you.
15:03You're 40 minutes late.
15:06Sorry about that.
15:07Yeah, the bus was stopped.
15:11Then why didn't you call?
15:13Uh, my, sorry, my phone got nicked.
15:21Was it that skinny lad upstairs?
15:24What?
15:24Was it that skinny lad upstairs that nicked your phone?
15:28No.
15:29No, I've, I've only just got here.
15:34He's always nicking phones, he is.
15:37There's supposed to be no crime here.
15:43All right, хорошо.
15:45Oh.
15:47Oh.
15:52Oh.
15:53Oh.
16:02Oh.
16:05Oh.
16:06Oh.
16:09Oh.
16:34I, um, brought some biscuits.
16:38Digestants?
16:39Um, no, they're an own brand.
16:42They're kind of like hot knobs.
16:43Oh, fucking hot knobs.
16:48You'll want a tea, then.
16:54How many sugars?
16:56None.
17:24Sorry about all the air freshness.
17:26No, that's fine.
17:28He keeps cooking fish, that skinny lad.
17:30I think it's him anyway.
17:33It might be someone else, I don't know.
17:36It stinks.
17:42Are you okay here?
17:44I mean, is there anyone helping you since you got out?
17:49Is there help?
17:51What are you on about?
17:53Well, you get a probation officer, but that's just to make sure you're not up to shite.
17:57There's no fucking help.
18:03Do you know where Basel is?
18:06Yeah.
18:10It's in Switzerland.
18:11Switzerland, that's right, yeah.
18:14I got a son out there.
18:16Working there he is.
18:17He's got two kids.
18:19And I was thinking of going out and seeing him.
18:22That sounds nice.
18:24Hmm.
18:26So can you get a plane there?
18:28Go to Basel?
18:29Hmm?
18:29Yeah, sure.
18:32How much would that be?
18:33I don't know.
18:34Um, maybe a few hundred.
18:37What a train.
18:38Can you get a train to Basel?
18:40I think you might have to change.
18:43How much would that cost?
18:45I really don't know.
18:50I mean, everything's all right now.
18:51You know, I've been inside for 14 years.
18:53I don't know how to do all this fucking...
19:10So you were my dad's padmate?
19:13Hey.
19:14Eight months I was, yeah.
19:19Uh...
19:21What was he like?
19:22Your dad?
19:24Yeah.
19:24What was your dad like?
19:25Well, he was, uh...
19:29He was all right.
19:31Was he?
19:33Yeah.
19:35Yeah, he was all right.
19:36He was a...
19:36He was a laugh.
19:40My dad?
19:42My dad was...
19:43Was a laugh.
19:44Funny as fuck, your dad.
19:47Yeah, I...
19:47I did a good stretch with him.
19:49Laughed my way through most of it.
19:51Yeah.
19:52He was a good lad.
19:54Share his last fag he would.
19:56You know, and then they...
19:57Banned Sigs in prison and fucking ruined it.
20:01Much prison without a smoke.
20:03I tell you what, I'll never go back there now.
20:08That just doesn't sound like the man that I remember.
20:11Yeah, well, I'm not fucking lying, you know.
20:12Well, I'm not...
20:13I'm not...
20:13I know...
20:14Yeah, a bunch of them make months.
20:17Every day.
20:19I know him better than you.
20:25He was a good lad.
20:27He had his moods, yeah?
20:28But he was a good lad.
20:31And he helped me with reading letters for my son.
20:34Other lads, they'd take the piss if they read a soft word.
20:36And then you'd be into something like...
20:37But not him, not your dad.
20:39He understood kindness.
20:40Did he?
20:41Yeah, he fucking well did.
20:44Look, you knew the man on the out.
20:47Right? But I knew the inside man.
20:48The man who was always there.
20:49The man who can't hide.
20:52Well...
20:54Which do you think is more real?
20:57Well...
21:00I fucking hate Hobnobs.
21:02It's all them fucking...
21:03bits in it.
21:06I don't like fucking bits.
21:10What's wrong with the chocolate digestive?
21:16Did he ever talk about my mum?
21:20Yeah.
21:23Every single day.
21:26What was...
21:27Was he still angry with her then, or...?
21:31He wasn't angry, he was in love.
21:33Excuse me?
21:34He loved her.
21:36Always going on about her, he was.
21:38He said the greatest privilege of his life
21:41was to have held her in his arms.
21:43He'd say that two or three times a week.
21:46I mean, another man you get fucking chopsy with for that,
21:49but not your dad.
21:52That you didn't mind like us.
21:55Because he was a good'un.
21:56My dad said those words.
21:58He said...
22:00She made him a better man.
22:02But that he wasn't good enough.
22:05He wasn't angry with her.
22:08He was too busy loving her.
22:17I'm getting tired now.
22:21I gotta have my nap.
22:22I have to have a nap in the afternoon.
22:29Is there anything else?
22:33Did he ever talk about me?
22:38You're not the drug one, are you?
22:45No, son.
22:47He never talked about you.
23:07I don't even know the same.
23:08I'm a prison till he's gone.
23:15I came to be a liar.
23:16But if I don't know, he can be drunk.
23:16They should be drunk, when he's in jail.
23:21You're in jail.
23:25You're in jail.
23:26You're in jail.
23:32I don't know.
24:03I don't know.
24:32I don't know.
24:33Hey, Dan.
24:34What's going on?
24:36What happened to that class?
24:37Hey.
24:37Yeah.
24:39Sorry.
24:39I've been away.
24:41Where?
24:41Like a holiday, is it?
24:42Before I detected a bit of a tan.
24:44I did go abroad, yeah.
24:46Lovely.
24:47Where'd you go?
24:48Berlin.
24:49Berlin?
24:50I love Berlin.
24:51You've never been to Berlin.
24:52Yes, I fucking have.
24:53I've been there loads.
24:54The drug scene is crazy in Berlin.
24:56You do the clubs, then?
24:57You go to Bergheim.
24:58Tell me you went to Bergheim.
24:59Sorry.
25:00Didn't go to Bergheim.
25:01The food, though.
25:02You got yourself some curry verse, right?
25:03Yeah.
25:04I hated curry verse.
25:05What the fuck is a curry verse?
25:07Berlin Specialty.
25:08Breakfast covered in ketchup and curry powder.
25:10It's fucking disgusting, to be honest, but you've got to do it, innit?
25:14You go have your boyfriend, then?
25:16No, this time I went alone.
25:17Okay, okay.
25:18Listen, you've got to get them classes going, you know, because Keef, he's riling without
25:22them, you know?
25:23He's eating a dictionary a day, yeah?
25:26And just gunning us down with words for him.
25:29So how you guys doing?
25:31No, I suppose we're just killing time and chatting shit and waiting for that out.
25:37Come on.
25:39See you later, then.
25:40Guten tag, boss.
25:41Good to see you, boy.
25:42See you, Dad.
25:42All right.
25:46Boyfriend?
25:47They assumed I was gay.
25:48I let them.
25:49So you're living as a closeted heterosexual?
25:52Smart.
26:08You all right, then?
26:11Yeah.
26:13Yeah, I'll just wait.
26:14Good.
26:16It won't be long.
26:18Or he might be.
26:19Who fucking knows?
26:29I had to do what I had to do.
26:32Yeah, I know.
26:37I mean, I should never have put you in that position, really.
26:39Or Jamie.
26:41It's me that should apologise, not you.
26:44I wasn't fucking apologising.
26:51Hey, how's Greg doing?
26:52Who's Greg?
26:54You know, Greg, the Skittles.
26:56Oh, Greg.
26:57Oh, yeah.
26:57He's gone.
26:58He's gone.
27:00You got released?
27:01No.
27:02Suicide.
27:03What?
27:04Yeah, I think it was asphyxiation.
27:07But to be honest, it was two suicides ago, so...
27:10Are you serious?
27:12He's dead?
27:15He's dead.
27:16The thing is, Dan, they don't all make it out of here.
27:21Goodbye.
27:38Goodbye.
27:41Bye.
27:41So, this is a instill.
27:42Bye.
27:43Bye.
27:56Come on.
28:03You've elected not to have a lawyer present.
28:05That's right.
28:06Can I ask why?
28:09There's no new information.
28:11I told you the truth.
28:13You know everything.
28:14Why didn't you tell me your father was a prisoner?
28:18Well, I've not seen him in 20 years.
28:20He's not a part of my life.
28:21Isn't he?
28:23Things like that can have a long tail.
28:27He's not a part of my life.
28:32What is it you think you've been doing here, Dan?
28:35What am I... Sorry?
28:36What have you been achieving?
28:46People...
28:50People sort of enjoy thinking.
28:53Even those who we deem not to be good at it.
28:58Thinking is human.
29:02My course lets them think for a bit.
29:06They're less than feel human.
29:12The reason I operate a zero-tolerance policy as regards staff and contraband isn't piety.
29:19It's out of necessity.
29:20In common with every facility in this country, my prison is rife with drugs, violence and extortion.
29:28The levers I have at my disposal to stop staff exploiting or being exploited are very few.
29:34Prosecuting people like you to the full extent of the law is really the main one.
29:40I do it because it works.
29:43I understand.
29:46So, in light of that, I've decided not to prosecute.
29:51Excuse me?
29:53You didn't do what you did for gain.
29:54That's clear.
29:56So, prosecution serves no purpose other than to deprive the men of something they seem to like.
30:02You're right.
30:03They do like to think.
30:05It does make them feel human.
30:07It's better for me to have humans in it.
30:10Humans I can deal with.
30:11It's all right. I'm OK. I'm not going to get...
30:13I'm lifting suspension.
30:14Effective immediately.
30:17This is only one of a handful of times in the last 15 years I've given a second chance for
30:21something like this.
30:23There won't be a third.
30:25Do you understand that?
30:26Yes, I do.
30:49Oh, fuck me.
30:53Hey, hey, hey.
30:55Hey, what's wrong?
30:56Hello? Yeah, I'm OK.
30:57Hey, hey, hey.
30:58You OK?
30:58I'm OK.
31:00I'm OK.
31:00You too?
31:03Take a minute.
31:08Thank you so much.
32:06We all wander far from God and lose our way.
32:09Christ comes to find us and welcomes us home.
32:13In baptism, we respond to his call.
32:16Therefore, I ask, do you turn away from sin?
32:21I do.
32:22Do you reject evil?
32:24I do.
32:26Do you turn to Christ, the Savior?
32:29I do.
32:30Wait a minute.
32:32Hey.
32:32Oh, Frank's got retro.
32:34Oh, come on.
32:35I lied to you.
32:38I lied to you.
32:38I lied to you.
32:39I lied to you.
32:40I lied to you.
32:40I lied to you.
32:43I lied to you.
32:44I lied to you.
32:44I'm afraid.
32:50You look good with that baby in his arms, didn't you, girl?
32:53He's fine as old.
32:54He did look good, though.
32:56You know what they say, Laura, one grandchild is plenty.
32:59Two's even better.
33:00No, I don't know.
33:01Or three.
33:02Or four.
33:03Or five.
33:03Here, pack it in, you.
33:07He did look good with that baby, though.
33:08He did look good with that baby.
33:09All right.
33:09All right.
33:12Last time he was here was for Martin's funeral.
33:17It's nice to be back like this.
33:22Oh, I hear you're a baker now.
33:25It's our, though.
33:26Martin would be proud.
33:34Sorry about what I said, but, um, the last time he'll be here.
33:41You never need to say sorry, Danny.
33:44Not to a parent.
33:47We're bolted on.
33:55I took drugs.
33:57Oh, my God.
33:58Why are you telling me that, Danny?
34:00I'm your bloody mum.
34:01You told me to.
34:02I didn't think you were going to come and tell me all about it.
34:05Oh, Jesus Christ, Danny.
34:08What drugs did you do, then?
34:10Actually, don't tell me.
34:10I don't want to know.
34:11Well, go on, then.
34:12What did you do?
34:14Sorry.
34:15It was just, it was recreational.
34:16It wasn't, it wasn't anything, you know.
34:18Are you going to do it again?
34:20I mean, do I need to worry?
34:21No, look, Mum, I just, I just went out and did normal things.
34:25I thought you'd want to know that I was being normal.
34:27Oh, oh, this is you being normal?
34:29Take drugs, then very normally, come and tell your mum all about it.
34:32A christening.
34:33Just like normal people do.
34:34Hi, Mum.
34:38I'm pleased you're being normal.
34:46He always was proud of you.
34:50Martin.
34:54He was proud of you every single day.
35:02Just like we all are.
35:08I'm so happy.
35:35So, after a few minutes of this, I'll stop, I'll turn round, and I'll go,
35:41Oh, oh, I'm sorry, sir, I didn't know you were there.
35:44I couldn't hear over the sound of all that fucking honking.
35:48Is that what you said?
35:49Oh, my God, what did he do?
35:51Well, he loses it.
35:52He bangs his foot on the accelerator,
35:54goes all the way round the outside of the car park to get round me.
35:58So I thought, all right.
36:00So I just slipped on up and blocked the exit.
36:04You didn't.
36:05Big line of fucking trolleys.
36:08He gets round, and there's me, kneeling, doing my shoelace.
36:14The next thing I know, he's nudging right up to my trolleys.
36:18He starts shunting them.
36:20Oh, no.
36:21What, with his Tesla?
36:22With his fucking Tesla.
36:24Oh, my God, what did you do, Frank?
36:26Well, I just stood there watching that.
36:29Massive scraping sand of metal there isn't.
36:33Finally, I'll step in, and I'll say,
36:36Excuse me, sir, I would not advise you to do that.
36:39And he says,
36:40I don't take advice from the likes of you.
36:44And I'll say,
36:46I would if I were you, sir,
36:47because you're ripping your fucking bumper off.
36:52It's ripped him right off, Dan.
36:54Oh, my God.
36:56Hey, next thing I know, there's a copper down.
36:59What? Why?
37:00Dunno.
37:01No idea.
37:02Someone must have phoned him.
37:03Tesla's ecstatic.
37:05He's straight with,
37:07This man has kidnapped me, he says.
37:10Oh, come on.
37:12Kidnap.
37:14Well, this copper, he takes one look at me,
37:16he comes over and says,
37:19All right, Frank, how you doing?
37:22He's only one of the bunch
37:23that nicked me and Vinny last time.
37:26Oh, shit, Frank.
37:28No, no, no, they loved us.
37:30When they nicked me and Vinny,
37:32they was as good as gold.
37:33Most of these only get to deal with junkies,
37:35but we was proper criminals.
37:37They had a board up with pins and strings.
37:41All our coins on, Mum.
37:43She's so proud.
37:44And he's all like,
37:46Good to see you, Frank.
37:47You're looking so well.
37:49Oh, you put a bit of weight on.
37:51Glad to see your back on your feet.
37:53You keep your nose cramping.
37:55Then he turns to Elon fucking Musk.
37:59Nix him for criminal damage and threatening behaviour.
38:03Yeah!
38:10I can't believe it.
38:13See you.
38:14Hi, buddy.
38:18All right, Mum's pissed, isn't she?
38:20Yep.
38:24All right.
38:24Now, last minute cuddles.
38:26Wee!
38:27Can I?
38:28Oh!
38:30Goodbye.
38:31What are you off to tonight, then?
38:33Um, I'm going to go home.
38:35Get ready.
38:37Uh, I've got a date.
38:38Well, it's not a date.
38:40I'm...
38:41I'm meeting Natasha.
38:43Yeah?
38:44Yeah.
38:46It's not a date.
38:47I'm just going to get a coffee.
38:49Still, that is something.
38:51Yeah.
38:52Yeah, it's something, isn't it?
38:55Okay.
38:59Thanks for asking me, Lee.
39:00It's a great honour.
39:02Oh, you soppy twat.
39:04Come on.
39:05Hi.
39:07Oh, I got you.
39:08Oh, I got you.
39:11All right.
39:11Let go of it, then.
39:14Let go of what?
39:16The guilt.
39:21Do you know why Dad walked out, and that's the actual reason?
39:27Because he's a fucking idiot.
39:30That's all.
39:33It's no deeper than that.
39:37You look at this boy, and you tell me it's any deeper than that.
39:48Get out.
39:49It's all right.
39:54It's all right.
40:29It's all right.
43:04Goodbye and good fuck.
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