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#Bait S01E03 [Full Movie] [Trending]Full EP - Full
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00:26Subtitles made by
00:29The
00:29Episode 2
00:42I hear that. I really do. It's just really not a good day to me because it's Eid, so I've
00:46got to stick with family.
00:46Okay. Well, you could have stuck with the family yesterday, but now you've got to deal with the shit storm
00:50you created.
00:50Is it really that bad? A lot of people seem to like the whole action and ritual. I reckon it
00:55will help them visualize me as Bond.
00:56Oh, okay. Well, there is a lot of chatter. Some people think you're a tough guy. Other people think you're
01:00insane.
01:01This could cost you the role. Oh, fuck.
01:06Saju, what happened to you when you met Felicia?
01:10This is the team. This is your agent.
01:16Remember I said wait in the car and I'm going to get the sweet tea?
01:19Don't give me a ticket because Felicia, what's going on?
01:23Same as you, just babysitting Bond.
01:25Oh, that only auntie's waiting for you.
01:27You're a disgrace.
01:28Felicia, you're going to get him the job. Yes.
01:31If it kills me.
01:33My Shah is just perfect for the job. I'll tell you why.
01:35Okay.
01:35When he was a little boy, he used to say, Mama, I want a license to kill. Remember, Shah?
01:40Oh, how specific?
01:42I don't remember that.
01:43Oh, look, he's got the military.
01:46I'll just be a minute, okay?
01:47Bye-bye, Felicia.
01:48Bye, Felicia.
01:48I'm sorry. You are a black lady.
01:58I know.
02:01What the fuck is this?
02:03You told me.
02:10Oh, you know what? I can't get into this right now.
02:12Okay, listen, none of this matters, okay? No one reads the fucking news.
02:17However, this is a big problem.
02:20The person you assaulted, you broke his arm and now he wants an apology.
02:24Sid said he was going for the giant Buddha's head, but now he's coming for you with 200,000 followers
02:29and counting, young and brown, your core fanbase.
02:32Assaulted? This man ran at me with a metal object, Felicia.
02:36It was a can of spray paint, Shah.
02:38Yeah, in hindsight.
02:39I mean, the worst he could have done was tag you.
02:41Okay, fine. Just give him his apology.
02:42Okay, good.
02:43All right, so how are you going to do?
02:45Oh, no, you have to apologize.
02:47On a video by end of day or he's pressing charges.
02:49Listen, it's Ian, so I've got to stick with the family.
02:52My mom usually hosts, but I fucked that up this time. That's on me.
02:55So I can't be dealing with this. I have to be with the fan today. I have to make it
02:58right.
02:58This is about your career, Shah. Your credibility in your community for the people that you say you're doing all
03:03of this for.
03:08You've got more followers of me?
03:10Shah!
03:12Shah Latif here. Eve Mubarak to everyone celebrating.
03:15I want to address the incident at the King's Museum last night.
03:19You might have heard about it or seen it. Well, I lived it.
03:22And I want you to know that in that moment, I wasn't thinking at all. I was acting out of
03:27sheer instinct.
03:30Community is the most important thing in the world to me.
03:33And I would never take it for granted.
03:36And there's nothing more painful to me than to know that I might have hurt a member of my own
03:41community.
03:41And to know that I might have betrayed your trust in some way hurts me deeply.
03:46You're good, yeah?
03:47Yeah, I'm good.
03:48You're good.
03:50So you've come to visit us, lonely villagers.
03:55Oxford educated.
03:56But no sense.
03:58Why did you attack that young man?
03:59Don't listen to him.
04:00Come, let's take a selfie.
04:03And I want you to know that I'm going to do everything in my power to make up for it
04:07and to make it right.
04:10You should have won black.
04:13It would go better with the animal witch's gold palace.
04:17Eid is my day.
04:19It belongs to all Muslims, Mummy.
04:21It's mine.
04:22And she took it.
04:23You know one thing she doesn't have?
04:25What?
04:27Hassan.
04:28Salim.
04:29You little golden boy.
04:31I stood to buy a big shot.
04:33Always trying to compete with you.
04:35Bad shot.
04:36Probably getting a Russian prostitute pregnant this second.
04:38Don't talk filthy.
04:42Orbita.
04:44She doesn't have a main attraction.
04:46You and me can be the stars of the show.
04:49We just...
04:49Come on.
04:51You worried about what Naughty Naila thinks?
04:53Nungi Naila.
04:54Nungi Naila.
04:55Oh, my God.
04:56Nungi Naila.
04:57She always shows skin because she's got no style.
05:01Look, where is she?
05:01She's probably too busy checking herself out in the mirror to come host her own party.
05:06She looks so happy.
05:20She made her goalt to head and zij.
05:33She looks so happy.
05:35I'm looking at the decorations in the Shajo's penthouse.
05:39Eat in the garden. Please eat it.
05:44Eid Mubarak.
05:45Eid Mubarak.
05:47What the fuck?
05:48Don't leave my sight.
05:51Eid Mubarak.
05:54Eid Mubarak.
05:55Hello ladies. Eid Mubarak.
05:58Eid Mubarak.
05:59Where is my?
06:00Seat, right?
06:01Yeah.
06:03Insane seat.
06:04Now he has passed. You're the eldest.
06:06No, thank you. I'm fine standing.
06:09Baba, go you a favor.
06:11Don't tell mommy, yeah?
06:12Is that how you're going to kill us bond?
06:13By raising the blood sugar?
06:16Yeah, I'll mention that to the writers.
06:19I'm letting go.
06:22Maybe. Yeah, maybe.
06:23Why don't you do a Pakistani film?
06:24Something with my khan in it.
06:26No, no, no.
06:27You're the oldest.
06:34Hey, I'm kind of fucked right now.
06:36I know.
06:36I know.
06:41I know.
06:43Sure, good first try, good first try.
06:46But I'm going to need you to do another apology video.
06:49First, you forgot to say the words, I'm sorry.
06:51Which is kind of key to the whole thing.
06:53He's buff, no?
06:54He says he's gone mental.
06:56Yeah, it's fucking hot.
06:58Sorry, can you mum focus, please?
07:00This is the latest.
07:02Well, this guy likes you.
07:05Hmm.
07:07Also, the whole Aladdin outfit
07:09and the Bollywood sweet shop,
07:11it's their community like ten times.
07:13It feels like you're begging it.
07:14Maybe down the brow.
07:16I don't get it, what is a problem?
07:18I like you.
07:19Stop, man. I'm 22, mate.
07:21What were you trying to get wife-ed off?
07:22Get it to me sooner rather than later.
07:25This is not going away.
07:27Hi, everyone.
07:28Shah Latif here.
07:29Now, last night at the King's Museum,
07:31a brother and I came into conflict.
07:34Now, I should not have reacted the way that I did.
07:37And the brother in question, perhaps,
07:39should not have run at me with a metal object
07:42the way that he did.
07:44Nuba is a community-led...
07:46It's not fucking community-led.
07:48The fact is, we're all in this together.
07:50And in the future, I promise to use my platform
07:52not to lash out, but to reach out.
07:57Bro?
07:57Nuba is full of...
07:59Yeah.
08:00You want some chai or something?
08:02No. Nuba...
08:04Bro, we good?
08:05I'm good, are you good?
08:06Yeah, I'm good, bro. We good?
08:07I'm good, are you good?
08:09Yeah, I'm good.
08:09I'm good, then.
08:11Nuba, not Nuba.
08:12What are you doing?
08:12Trying to focus, man.
08:13You are distracting me.
08:15Alright.
08:15Yeah?
08:16Yes.
08:17Yo, they got them little laddus over there
08:18with the pink and green balls on it.
08:19You want them?
08:20Big man, please.
08:21I don't want laddus right now, okay?
08:22I just want to concentrate.
08:24Aren't you supposed to be holding Ammi's hand?
08:26Oh, yeah.
08:27Shit.
08:28In a bit, yeah?
08:29Don't bring me no laddus.
08:29Well, before that, you know.
08:33Need the baby.
08:35Hey.
08:38Yeah, I got it.
08:39It's only gone, it's only gone.
08:40You came in there?
08:41Where have you been?
08:41I've just been checking on Baba and Zofi.
08:44Bastard, you promised you're not going to leave me.
08:46So if I just die standing here alone...
08:48Please, please don't do this now.
08:50You left me.
08:51I'm sorry.
08:52I'll make it up to you.
08:53My name!
08:54My Salim is coming!
09:00Salim!
09:01Salim!
09:01Mirabascha!
09:05Salim!
09:10Salim!
09:29Salim!
09:30Salim!
09:31Salim!
09:31Ah!
09:32Beta!
09:34Look Mr. Tobai.
09:36I can't believe that!
09:37Look at him.
09:38The dancing monkey.
09:39Doing his mother's dirty bidding.
09:41Making Russian prostitutes pregnant.
09:43Look!
09:43No, he's not, Mummy.
09:44That was a joke that I just made.
09:46Oh, my God.
09:46You even borrow me.
09:47Oh, look at that fresh prey.
09:50Zulfi.
09:50Weakest of us all.
09:52Yeah.
09:52I'm good, madam.
09:53I'm good, you know.
09:54Don't leave.
09:55Shah Jushi's coming.
09:55Don't leave.
09:56Shah Beta, can I borrow your mummy for a minute?
09:58I need my goals in the kitchen okay we're just gonna okay okay no no let's
10:03go let's go let's go let's go let's go our KPI is the most interesting thing
10:10about this okay it's the retention of the customer base after that discount
10:13period you know it's off the charts people want more community driven ride
10:16share option yes Salim yes we same bro yes yes guy you good yeah come join us
10:23man yeah yeah I got you some loaders bro thank you thank you
10:27that's how I never got your number how you been I've been good bro yeah you've
10:31been breaking shit what do you mean by that glass ceilings thank you try man
10:37trying that guy's arm it's just a fracture hey just to bring this back to what we
10:43talked about before you got here yeah um you know our number of drivers are
10:46growing by the day we'll be in all key five bars by June so Muba sick idea in it
10:51I've been there from day one I remember bro I'm so proud of this guy Gus Smith so
10:55and you know what's amazing he's always been an entrepreneur if anything he just
10:58went from selling grams to Instagram just out of interest what was the most your
11:07credit situation with the criminal record and everything no no problems
11:10whatsoever no issues and just for clarity and I didn't go inside for selling mall
11:15it's not just five bit of island disorder it was your self-defense it was
11:19really in a way he's a ride-or-die and he was there for me any credit issues though no
11:23credit issues because I'm going all in with everything that I've got right so
11:27if you need any credit we need financing just talk to me sorry just I was on the
11:31impression we were coming in seed round rather than source series a see this
11:35conversation here this is in fact that the closest he's been to the business
11:40all right in fact obviously it's too close okay give me back my dildos then
11:47uh you know for me personally the most important quality about Muba is in fact the quality of the
11:53relationships we're not just there for them when we want because that's bullshit that's fake
12:00get the fuck off me bro I don't know and anyway I've always had a passion for customer service
12:07it's my thing that's one thing I picked up in Dubai that's what we do best hospitality that's our
12:12culture one might say the Muslim way of doing business I love the idea can I present it to the
12:18guys see what they say well you're taking this you're trying to get investment from Dubai
12:25yeah okay yeah you good no no I'm just saying you know Dubai it works for people with all like
12:32with them but I mean what the fuck is this guy gonna do in Dubai but he gonna let you
12:36in bro
12:36you don't want to go there man I'm all in yeah remember that he was disrespectful he referred to
12:45your quiff like that there was no need it was good sure got your second apology yeah that's not gonna
12:51work first of all what was up with that background if you post that you'll have to issue a second
12:56apology for being a rich arsehole also you forgot to say sorry again what the first-class
13:02interzaim kiya Naila Sano se Tumsi isi kha next year Eid is back at yours no no absolutely yes
13:10very kind of you to step in this year Naila Tahira Bura Mat Manu sab kush teek hai na karme
13:19thank you thank you just because uh maya chanju kuh dekh rahe thi or uji laga I worry for him
13:29for all of you it's so much pressure that's very kind of you to worry now I see a bit
13:34of your sister
13:35in him does shah chan have someone you can talk to he has me rukaya had you too but she
13:50needed more
13:51help na but bichariya hany ko dekho she doesn't know anything she was I love please it's all good my
13:59son
13:59is going to be the next James Bond we all couldn't be more proud it's okay to talk about these
14:08struggles now really thank you it's all good it's first class
14:29I am
14:50What is the name of Shah Latif, an Israeli terrorist?
14:53This is the name of the Palestinian-Pakistan.
15:12Shah, we need that apology. We're running out of time. I've literally written it out for you.
15:17Just find a quiet, neutral room. Record it and send it back now before it's too fucking late, okay?
15:27For fuck's sake.
15:47Am I interacting, Sammy?
15:50Yeah. A conversation.
15:54Can you fucking close the door, please? Thank you.
15:57Is this, like, you two...
15:59I like her. Texting. Wow.
16:02So, how long has this been going on?
16:03Six months. Three months? Okay, so this is nothing.
16:07Can we please not do this in front of Shah?
16:09I'm chill. I'm not going to tell anyone.
16:10Why don't I come here?
16:11Can we not do this in front of Shah?
16:12I came here for you.
16:13But I never asked you to, did I?
16:15But I asked me to.
16:16I never... Calm down. I never fucking asked you to.
16:18And this, this whole thing you're doing here, this is what I'm talking about. This is the whole problem.
16:21So, just to clarify, you didn't come in to see Zilfie, then, for the thing?
16:24No.
16:25Yes.
16:25Does he know, by the way?
16:26Oh, fuck's sake.
16:27Well, yeah, he's going to find out now, isn't he?
16:29I'm not going to say anything. I've got your back. I've got your back.
16:32Look, we don't have to tell anyone, but let's just be real about what this is, because this
16:36is, this is something, right? Me and you both know it.
16:39What does that even mean, bro?
16:41You, you live a million miles away, okay? You have a whole life, you have fucking house
16:47keys, car keys, so, so many keys, okay? I have one key.
16:50I can give you keys.
16:51I don't want your keys, okay? I want mine.
16:54Yo, can I just step in here for a minute, offer maybe a different perspective from my own
16:57more mature experience, yeah? I want an honest answer from both of you.
17:01You okay? All right?
17:03All right.
17:04Now, let's say, let's say you've been texting, there's some emotional ambiguity about where
17:09you both stand, all right? Yeah? You can relate, right? You send a message, a heartfelt
17:15one. Instead of it going green, it goes grey. What does that mean to you?
17:21It means you're blocked.
17:24Fuck off, really?
17:25Yeah.
17:27Let me just show you this.
17:28Okay, I'm going to ask you to leave now.
17:29Can I show you this quickly?
17:30No, no, no. Oi?
17:31Don't say anything to anyone.
17:33I'm chill.
17:36Salim, yeah?
17:40He's not fucking chill.
17:41Come on.
17:43Come on.
17:48With Sai gone, who will lead the prayer?
17:50Pasha?
17:51Okay.
17:52Well, he recites beautifully, but I think I should lead.
17:56How will you?
17:57Seated?
17:57I won't be seated.
17:58Why?
17:59Think about it.
17:59Let someone else lead.
18:01Listen, you asswipes.
18:03I can run circles around you idiots.
18:05I will lead.
18:13By so desperately pursuing the role of Bond, an icon of the white establishment, Shah Latifah's
18:19exchanging his political art for vanilla distraction. And so he joins a long line of brown men who
18:24think that by becoming our oppressor, he's somehow liberating all of us. And he puts a filter
18:28on his IMDb pic to look more white.
18:42Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar. La ilaha illa Allah. Allahu Akbar.
18:53Hey, Shah Latifah here.
18:56I was involved in an incident last night at the King's Museum that was both unfortunate
19:00and avoidable. And I'm deeply sorry.
19:03Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you fucking thing.
19:07Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
19:08Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
19:09Alhamdulillahi Rabbil Alameen.
19:11Shah Latifah here.
19:12Last night at the King's Museum, I fucked up a guy running at me with a metal object.
19:17And apparently I'm the one who has to apologize.
19:19Yes.
19:20Yes.
19:21Yes.
19:23Yes.
19:24Yes.ổi
19:31hala. Yeah.
19:32Oh.
19:32Oh,
19:32what. Oh.
19:34Oh.
19:35Oh.
19:37Oh.
19:37Oh.
19:38Oh,
19:38Oh,
19:39as Oh. Oh,
19:42there'll be a difference to me again. Oh,
19:46yes. Oh,
19:47how many are. Oh.
19:48Oh.
20:04Hello?
20:07Yeah, hi, is this Sid?
20:09Uh, yeah, hi.
20:11Hi, this is Shah Latif.
20:13Is it?
20:15Actually.
20:15Yeah, it is actually.
20:16Bro, I just want to say, I am so, so sorry for what happened yesterday.
20:24No excuses.
20:25I was bang out of order.
20:29I just don't know what came over me.
20:31I really hope you can find it in your heart to please forgive me.
20:36Yo, I appreciate this, man.
20:40Like, I really do.
20:40I was going to call my lawyers, but then the fact you called, man.
20:45Oh, bro, he's been eating me up the whole day.
20:47Can't tell you how much this means, man.
20:49Legit.
20:53Well...
20:53Do you mind just sending me what you just said?
20:56Like, in a recording?
20:59Sorry?
21:00I need the engagement, bro.
21:02Right.
21:03I mean, I guess so.
21:05Nice, Ryan.
21:06Appreciate it.
21:07All right.
21:07Oh, and thanks for the follow, mate.
21:09Just remember, keep the vid under 90 for the algorithm, yeah?
21:14Mm-hmm.
21:14I will do.
21:15All right.
21:16See you.
21:16See you.
21:37What happened?
21:38He fell.
21:39What?
21:39Why was he praying on a chair already?
21:41Shush.
21:41Oh, you want to sit down?
21:42Come.
21:44How about how's your breathing, okay?
21:46You okay?
21:47Huh?
21:47Why didn't you sit him down?
21:48But now you want to be involved.
21:49What the fuck's that supposed to mean?
21:50I'm doing something inside.
21:51You're for yourself.
21:51Don't come at me.
21:52You always fucking want to be the hero, and you're never around.
21:54All right.
21:55All right.
21:55All right.
21:56Come down, mate.
21:57Baba?
21:58Is anyone getting any water?
21:59Yeah.
22:00I'm glad you want to get a blanket or something.
22:05Are you good, bro?
22:07Bro, are you good?
22:08What's going on?
22:10He's a fucking diabetic, and you're giving him boxes of sweets.
22:14Shabbat, bit up.
22:14All right.
22:15So I just fuck off again, yeah?
22:16You better when I'm not around.
22:17That's what you're saying.
22:18No, no.
22:18He's not my dad.
22:19He's your dad.
22:19Shadu.
22:20Huh?
22:20Shadu.
22:21You know what?
22:22You think you're a fucking bad man, yeah?
22:24How?
22:24Fucking, yeah, my people is my...
22:26How the fuck are you going to help your people if you're too busy sucking white people's dicks?
22:31It's okay to me.
22:31You're just crying about it last night, bro.
22:33What?
22:33You came in to take care of me.
22:34You came for a free fucking meal, bro.
22:35I saw you giving out your little business cards.
22:36That's some sweet little minicap driver, bro.
22:38Blow it.
22:39Blow it, bro.
22:39He's a leech, man.
22:40He's been leeching off me my whole life.
22:42What are you now trying to leech off this dickhead?
22:44Bro, he doesn't care about your shitty ideas.
22:46He's trying to chirps your little sister.
22:48What?
22:48Only chirpsing.
22:49I love her.
22:50All right.
22:50What the fuck, man?
22:51Are you fucking...
22:52Are you mad?
22:53Listen, don't listen to him.
22:54He's lost the fucking plot.
22:55He's been chatting to a pig's head in the freezer.
22:56What?
22:57What freezer?
22:57In the garage, and he's been talking to it.
22:59You sure you're talking to a pig's head?
23:00What if I have?
23:01What?
23:01What if I have?
23:02What if I have?
23:02Better listener than any of you lot.
23:04That's what happens when you're related to you guys.
23:05I'm not the first family member to lose my mind.
23:07Hey, it's not.
23:10Chalo, Shahjoo.
23:13Why are you saying it?
23:14Why are you saying it to me?
23:15No, no.
23:15I'm asking.
23:16Why is he saying that to me?
23:17Baba, what did I do?
23:18What did I do?
23:18I'm trying to fucking make a difference.
23:19I'm not just sat there fucking complaining about everything.
23:22Well, you lot would judge me.
23:23Huh?
23:23Why are you fucking touching me?
23:25Don't touch me.
23:25Shh.
23:26I'm trying to change the world.
23:27All right?
23:27So anyone doesn't look at you and think you're some fucking worthless, stinking, bitter-baggy
23:32look at me.
23:33Get the fuck out of here, boss.
23:35Oh, I've got a problem, my mate.
23:36She blames you for what happened to your mom, bro.
23:38Shut up!
23:38Hey!
23:38Let's go.
24:18Let's go.
24:44Let's go.
25:08Let's go.
25:42Let's go.
26:08Let's go.
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