- 11 hours ago
Fatimah Taliah- Nice to Meet Me (2021) [Full Movie] [Recommended]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:06Start clapping your hands right now, doing her own thing, not waiting for nobody, that's
00:10my baby, Fatima Jaliyah!
00:16Yeah!
00:19A bitch did it, okay?
00:22Okay?
00:23I'm not gonna lie, this shit was hard as hell.
00:27This is the first time I've ever been excited to stand in front of a negative ass crowd,
00:31okay?
00:32I never thought I'd say that, but I'm like, oh shit, everybody in this motherfucker, negative
00:36than a motherfucker.
00:38I will say, this has been a hell of a year, right?
00:40All the comments I saw today, we was all like, this is my first time being outside doing comedy,
00:45that's like, it's crazy for us to do that, but it was like, this is the first time everybody
00:48was able to do that shit, and it's dope, but it's been a year, we're being trapped in the
00:52house, huh?
00:54Oh my god.
00:55I got trapped in with myself, anybody got trapped in with they self, and been like,
00:58God damn, I hate me!
01:01I wish this bitch would leave!
01:04Just go!
01:06Tired of yourself!
01:07Like, quarantine was some bullshit, wasn't it?
01:10They was letting us turn up, and they was like, now y'all gotta go home and look at yourself!
01:19It's funny, cause like, you think about that shit while you're in quarantine, you're like,
01:22oh, I'm a mess, I gotta get my shit together.
01:24But it ain't shit like being in quarantine and being single though.
01:28Nigga.
01:30That's when you really feel it, you like, oh.
01:32You don't feel it when you out, cause there's like options.
01:35When you inside and it's just you, you like, oh, I don't know how much porn.
01:39I don't even love me this much!
01:42Oh my god, this was a year, man.
01:44I think it was good though, because I feel like this was the year when not only did we
01:48get to see ourselves, but we got to see this fucking country.
01:53Ooh, nigga.
01:55This is the first time I ever really paid this close attention to the president, but
01:59I liked it.
01:59I don't know why.
02:00Don't tell nobody I said this, but it was crazy.
02:02I ain't never seen a president this motherfucking cold in my life.
02:05I was like, this is the real, this nigga running the country like a real nigga.
02:08Um, he running the country exactly like how everybody thought Obama was going to do it.
02:14Everybody thought Obama was going to be a real nigga.
02:15It was a white man with a fucked up wig, and he showed up and ran the country like a
02:21real nigga.
02:21I ain't never, he running the country like Soulja Boy.
02:23I didn't know what to do with this shit, like, but you see it close on.
02:27You like, damn, like, Donald Trump come to the fucking press conference wearing fucking
02:31basketball shorts.
02:33You don't give a fuck.
02:34He come in scratching his head and shit with a fucking wave cap on.
02:39Mr. President, what do you think about the virus?
02:41He's like, oh shit, y'all niggas still on that?
02:43Damn.
02:44Move on.
02:46I'm tired of this shit.
02:48They like, sir, put your shirt back on.
02:50They like, oh, so many rules.
02:52The fuck?
02:53Never seen anybody running the country like this in my life.
02:56They were like, sir, tell us, what do you think?
02:58What is the plan?
02:59What are you going to do with the virus?
03:00He's like, look, nigga, fuck.
03:01Only 2000,000 people is dead.
03:03It ain't that many.
03:04Come on.
03:06Damn, why y'all on my dick?
03:08They like, sir, put your pants back on.
03:11It's like, it's hot in here.
03:12Don't give me so many rules.
03:14They ain't ready.
03:15I'm trying out here.
03:16You like, this is crazy.
03:17Easy.
03:19Oh, my God.
03:20Like, I ain't never seen, like, I grew up on the south side of Chicago, so I know pimps.
03:23And Donald Trump, yes, come on now.
03:26So I feel like this nigga talked to us like a pimp, don't he?
03:28He come out like, look, baby, it is what it is, but it ain't what it ain't.
03:32I'm gonna make it do what it do.
03:33You like, what?
03:33This is a country.
03:34This nigga's crazy.
03:36Help us.
03:37He talked to us like that.
03:38He talked slick to us every time.
03:40We be like, sir, there's a virus.
03:41It's not looking good.
03:42He's like, look, baby, let me explain something to you.
03:44See, it ain't everybody.
03:45If you just slow your ass down and look at my eyes, then it's gonna be all right.
03:48I do what I can.
03:49I do what I can.
03:51It's on y'all.
03:52Like, I ain't never, like, I was like, I've seen this before.
03:55Like, this doesn't add up.
03:57I ain't never seen nobody be this aggressive on us like this.
04:00Like, Donald Trump, the only president I've seen to blame us for the problems we have.
04:04Like, he be like, they soft.
04:06They weak.
04:07We got forced to be by ourselves, and watching Donald Trump made me watch myself.
04:11A couple years back, I got arrested.
04:13I did.
04:14Yes.
04:15Watching Donald Trump being drunk like that, I was like, that's how I looked.
04:20So I got arrested, and it landed my ass in anger management.
04:24Like, anger management, okay?
04:26And when I say it's weird, first of all, when you land in anger management, you don't think
04:29nothing wrong with you, right?
04:31When people say, you know what I'm saying?
04:33Like, when you fucked up, you don't know you fucked up.
04:35Nobody, nobody.
04:36When you crazy, crazy people don't think they crazy.
04:37You just be like, look, they don't understand me.
04:42But I had to take an intake test for anger management, and that's when I realized I was
04:47fucked up.
04:48They ask you a couple questions before you enter the class, and the questions were, okay,
04:54out of every relationship you've been in, how many physical altercations have you been
04:58a part of?
04:58And I was like, that's a trick question.
05:00It's got to be.
05:01Because these niggas ain't shit.
05:02First of all, they can't be, like, they lying.
05:05Like, so I answered, and I was like, okay.
05:08All of them.
05:10I was like, that's all right.
05:11That's all right.
05:11I got a question, too.
05:12It's cool.
05:12So I got this question, too.
05:14They was like, draw your anger from one to ten.
05:18I just drew a knife.
05:19I was like, oh, shit, baby, I'm crazy.
05:22I'm fucked up.
05:24So I ended up in anger management, and it was funny, because in anger management, first
05:28thing you do when you go to anger management, you size everybody up, because you know why
05:32the fuck you there.
05:33You don't know why everybody else is there, but it was funny, because anger management
05:36was 45 and up.
05:39Like, nobody in my anger management looked like a gangster.
05:41Everybody looked like a preschool teacher to some nigga you were running to at the post
05:45office.
05:46It didn't add up.
05:46I was like, I know why the fuck I'm here, but none of these people look gangster.
05:49I was confused.
05:51But the funny part was, all the people in anger management were having work issues,
05:55or one of the stories that stuck out to me the most was this 65-year-old white lady,
06:00right?
06:01She had all the potential to be the best librarian you've ever fucking seen.
06:05Nothing about her said anger management to me at all.
06:09When she told her story, I was like, okay, okay.
06:12So it started out, they were like, Carol, tell us why you're here.
06:17She was like, well, it all started with my neighbor's dog.
06:19It barked every day, so I decided to kidnap that motherfucker.
06:24Take him to my house.
06:24Now, look, I didn't do nothing bad to it.
06:26I fed the motherfucker every day.
06:27I walked it.
06:28I took care of it.
06:29But they put up signs saying it was missing, and I watched them put up those signs every
06:33day.
06:34And I said to myself, look at those idiots.
06:36They don't know that the dog's with me, and it'll never bark again.
06:39The whole time, I'm like, oh shit.
06:41Carol was crazy as fuck.
06:43Nigga.
06:44I was like, I don't want to ever turn out like this 65-year-old lady.
06:48I said, if petty was a fucking product, I mean, that's what it looks like at 65.
06:52Like, I'm overly petty, and I'm going to make sure that I'm going to stop this dog.
06:55So at that point, I was like, oh shit, I got to get my shit together.
06:59Like, that's when you realize, like, you don't want to be an old petty bitch being
07:02like, the dog was barking, motherfucker.
07:03I showed him.
07:04I taught him a lesson.
07:05You're like, I ain't trying to be that.
07:07That ain't trying to be me.
07:08And I realized I was getting older, too.
07:11As you get older, you be like, all right, I can't really be on stupid shit.
07:14Like, I feel like I look young enough to be experimenting, but too old to be like, nigga,
07:18you know better than that shit.
07:20Like, you know what I'm saying?
07:21Somebody catch you being like, oh, that's wild what you did.
07:23But they look at your idea and be like, what the fuck is wrong with you?
07:27You shouldn't be here.
07:28That's the type of age I'm at.
07:29Where it's just like, it looks okay until you check my ID.
07:32And then you're like, hmm.
07:34But I realized I was at that age, man.
07:36It's just like, I'm in my 30s now.
07:38And I feel like in your 30s, everything looks different, right?
07:41Like, in your 20s, you don't give a fuck.
07:45You just having a good time.
07:47And then in your 30s, it feels like you walk into an attic and you turn on the light,
07:50like, poof, and you see all the boxes like, God damn, I've been fucking up.
07:54Like, shit.
07:55You see all the shit right behind you like, God, what the hell, nigga.
07:59You realize it ain't looking good.
08:01Like, it just look bad in your 30s.
08:03It's not the game.
08:04I know everybody's always like, black women don't age.
08:07This is true.
08:08I'm in my 30s.
08:09I'm like, on the cuff of being 40?
08:11Doesn't look like it though, right?
08:13Right.
08:14This is the weird shit?
08:15Yes.
08:16We ain't even got to do shit to our face.
08:18That's the fucked up part.
08:19It sucks.
08:19Cause, like, you wake up every day thinking you're 20, but you really got the knees of
08:22a 40-year-old bitch.
08:23And it's just, it ain't the same.
08:25You be in the mirror like, oh shit, like, I still got it.
08:28You merely rock and blow out your whole damn shoulder.
08:30You like, you can go down for TikTok in your 30s, bitch.
08:34Friends be like, where you been, bitch?
08:35Ah, I got into a TikTok challenge.
08:37Gotta sit out for a couple weeks.
08:40It's true.
08:41When you get older, like, it don't hit you the same as a black woman.
08:44You know?
08:44Like, we age slower.
08:46You know?
08:46You wake up every day.
08:47You got the same face.
08:48You look at yourself.
08:50You move the same.
08:51And then you realize you can't go for runs.
08:54Like, you just can't take off.
08:55Your knees be like, bitch, say go or something.
08:57You just can't leave.
08:58You gotta say one, two, three.
08:59You just can't take off.
09:01You blow out an ankle or something.
09:04It's ridiculous.
09:06But I knew I was old, y'all, when I did a pregame with some of my friends in my
09:1230s.
09:12If anybody know what pregame is, that's when you party before the party.
09:16Like, that's how you find out you an old bitch.
09:19And it sounds crazy to me out loud, honestly.
09:22Like, when you go, yo, we gonna go drink before the party and have more drinks.
09:25You're like, what the fuck is wrong with us?
09:27We don't love ourselves.
09:29That's crazy.
09:31Like, back in the day, that seemed like a fun-ass idea.
09:33But now you're like, bitch, I don't know.
09:36You bitches got low self-esteem.
09:41It's true, though.
09:41I realized I was old as fuck.
09:43I was back home in Chicago last year.
09:47And it was my birthday.
09:48And me and my friends decided to do a pregame before we went out.
09:52And let me tell you, we should have never done that.
09:55We were a cool group.
09:56Like, I come from a really great group of friends where we, like, are cool girls.
10:00Like, you know what I'm saying?
10:00Like, I don't know how y'all are.
10:01But my friends were, like, girls that never stand in line.
10:04We always had a dude in the party to, like, buy a bottle for us type shit.
10:08Like, we those type of bitches.
10:09Like, we would walk up to the road and they're like, oh, hey, how's it going?
10:11So we were cool bitches.
10:12But, like, in your 30s, the clique don't look like that no more.
10:15Like, the clique didn't look.
10:17We weren't none of that.
10:19We had a little pregame.
10:21And it was, like, cold in Chicago, too.
10:23So it was, like, you know, in Chicago you can get shot by the wind.
10:26Like, the wind was like, pop, pop.
10:27So it was cold.
10:29So we had a little pregame.
10:30And, like, we went out to one club and tried to party.
10:33We went out for one night.
10:34My homegirl slipped on the ice.
10:36She was like, go on without me.
10:37I'm like, bitch, just stand up.
10:39Just get up.
10:41She was like, just leave.
10:42Just go on without me.
10:43She felt like she fell into the night.
10:45Like, that was the end of it for her.
10:51I don't want to do this shit no more.
10:54We got to the party.
10:55Finally get in the party, my homegirl
10:59Oh, damn, look at us.
11:02We tired.
11:05And we weren't making it.
11:07It wasn't going well.
11:15Correct.
11:31We псed.
11:38We're fine.
11:39We're right.
11:39We what we tried.
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