- 3 hours ago
Half.Man.S01E01.540p.X265.AAC [Full Movie] [Watch Free Online]Full EP - Full
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Oh
00:53I'm not speaking about this.
00:58You don't have to speak.
01:00You have to listen.
01:03Really?
01:06You picked today.
01:09My fucking wedding.
01:16Come on, Truman, stop messing.
01:21Put your top back on.
01:34Oh, for fuck's sake.
01:45Oh, Niall.
01:53Come here.
01:55Come here.
02:02I'm proud of you, yeah?
02:05You know that?
02:13You look gorgeous, so you do.
02:15I tell you, if I wasn't family, I'd get up and underneath that kilt right away.
02:20No, Ruben, don't.
02:21What?
02:22I tell you, you look gorgeous.
02:24Come on, show me.
02:24There's nothing to show, Ruben.
02:25I've got boxes on underneath, for Christ's sake.
02:27Oh, boxers.
02:28Stop teasing me, you little mate.
02:33Hey.
02:34Yeah.
02:35Come here, look at me.
02:36Look at me.
02:38That's it.
02:41Look at me.
02:44We may not flow through each other's veins, but we flow through each other's brains, you
02:49get me?
02:50Please, I don't think that...
02:50One more time, eh?
02:52For all time's sake.
02:54I just need to hear it.
02:57Before I lose you forever.
02:58You're not serious.
03:01Go on.
03:02Say it.
03:03What am I?
03:08Your brother from...
03:16You're not a lover.
03:21You're not a lover.
03:22Beautiful.
03:36No!
03:51Come on, give us your best, you little fike.
04:04What is this now?
04:06Oh, fucking Snickers, Indiana Jones, that film is gay as fuck, I'm gonna have these, no, please,
04:17Gus, you can keep one, okay, I'm not a monster, pick one.
04:29Second to last.
04:30Good.
04:52Open up.
05:00Okay, degenerate, settle down, settle down.
05:05Right, as we know, the prelim exams start this week, are we aware of how important they are?
05:15Well, the prelims are your safety net, for whatever reason you missed your finals.
05:20You get hit by a bus, you come down with a bubonic plague.
05:24These exams are your get out of jail with an appeals card.
05:27Have I emphasized their importance enough?
05:34Positively spellbinding.
05:37Right, moving on.
05:38Well done.
05:38I should probably make you aware that a new student will be joining the class from tomorrow.
05:43One Reuben Pallister.
05:46What?
05:49Some of them are, Kennedy.
05:52No, it's just...
05:54Did you just say Reuben Pallister?
05:58That's right.
05:59A new pupil you can show off your sparkling personality to.
06:04Reuben will be transferring from Pullman Young Offenders Institute, and will be resitting
06:09two years, which means he'll be a little more feral than the rest of you.
06:13Any questions?
06:17Nobody?
06:18Good.
06:19Open your drawers, we'll pick up where we left off you.
06:22Page 16.
06:25Kennedy.
06:27Did you listen to what I just said?
06:30What?
06:30Yeah.
06:31Of course.
06:33What did I just say then?
06:37Reuben's back.
06:50Mum, it's Niall.
06:52Honey, I'm working. What is it?
06:53It's Ruben. He's out. He's coming to school.
06:55Look, now is not the time, all right?
06:57He's not staying with us, is he?
06:58We can talk about this when I pick you up.
07:00But, Mum...
07:21You should have said about her, then.
07:22Oh, piss yourself! You're a 15-year-old boy.
07:26Given your life, I don't need to give you respect.
07:33Look, I'm sorry, OK? I should have told you.
07:37I'm keeping with the theme of surprises.
07:39He's moved into your room.
07:42What? No way.
07:43What did you think that second bed was for?
07:44We were almost begging you to ask.
07:46I thought it was for guests.
07:47He is a guest.
07:48No, he's not. He's a psycho.
07:50He bit someone's nose off.
07:51I've seen the guy, too. It's horrible.
07:53His wife left him and everything.
08:03Look, you're not to talk about this, OK?
08:05Nobody in this town knows about that.
08:07The last thing that boy needs is folk whispering.
08:09Don't bite people's noses often.
08:11No, shh. You're not to speak this way in front of Maura, all right?
08:13Oh, you always put her first.
08:15She was only supposed to be living with us for six months,
08:17and now her kid is moving in.
08:18Come on, Mum.
08:19He's a psycho.
08:21Her son getting out is a big deal.
08:22He's been away for two years, for Christ's sake.
08:25This is happening, Niall, so get used to it.
08:28He's been away for six months.
08:31How could you do it?
08:33That's right.
08:39He's been away for six months.
08:39Oh, God.
08:42Come on.
08:43Come on.
08:43Come on.
08:43Come on.
08:43Come on.
08:44Come on.
08:45Come on.
08:47Come on.
08:48Come on.
08:55Come on.
09:22Remember me, Bambi?
09:24Last time I saw you, you were about yea high.
09:33Grown at least two feet since then. Maybe more.
09:36You've got the exact same size head though. Creeping me out a bit.
09:46You helping or what?
09:48We can't have this shit up.
09:50No one for bringing Buds home.
09:51Here.
09:56Get to it then, Bambi. Grab a bag, get stuff in.
10:07Here. Take that poster down and put this up.
10:26Put it up then, you dick.
10:54What the fuck are you staring at?
10:58What? Nothing.
11:24Ah!
11:26Looks like Pallister's a no-show. Off to a great start.
11:31All right, everyone. Open your jotters. We'll pick up from yesterday.
11:44Right, what's going on here?
11:50Kennedy.
11:52Open your jotter.
11:55No.
11:57Open, boy.
12:06Who did this?
12:08Oh no, come on.
12:13Uh...
12:14Me, sir.
12:15You?
12:16You called your own mum a dyke?
12:18No, I called someone else's mum a dyke.
12:21Really?
12:22I know first hand from your essays.
12:24Your grasp of irony isn't that strong.
12:28So come on.
12:29Who did this?
12:34My mum is not a lesbian.
12:36I beg your pardon?
12:37I said...
12:39My mum is not a fucking lesbian!
12:43Look.
12:44Come with me.
12:45Go off me, you nods!
12:47What did you say?
12:48Like to touch young boys, do you?
12:50You fucking old poof!
12:53I'm just wondering if there's something else we should be worrying about.
12:56What are you insinuating?
12:57All I'm saying is I've seen a change in Niall recently.
13:00Then what change is that then?
13:01Look, he's gone from being a committed, gifted student
13:03to one that acts out in most lessons.
13:05Sir, go on. I know you want to.
13:07Look, we have to call into question Niall's rather unusual state of affairs at home.
13:10You don't know anything about my damn home!
13:28You fucking fucking bastard man!
13:35Oi, Ruth!
13:37I know you're up there!
13:38What?
13:40I've eaten about!
13:41I am what?
13:43I'm gay!
13:43Waiting!
13:45Is that your dad?
13:46Shut the fuck up.
13:47That way ain't no consumer!
13:53You know a muck?
13:55How long is fucking muck?
13:57You get down here and explain why you stay with that dite!
14:03And not me!
14:05Ruben!
14:06Son!
14:07Will you start again, eh?
14:09I think you'll give your old man a big hug, eh?
14:15I don't think I can't see you boy!
14:18Where is he?
14:19By the fucking collar!
14:20We've gone before!
14:22I'll get, I'll get mum.
14:23I'll be with a bitch!
14:26Don't shoot her!
14:27Fucking deal!
14:31Not a word!
14:32Okay?
14:33Not a fucking word!
14:36I'll get her!
14:38It's gone!
14:39Get all this to me, son!
14:39I don't care, shut your mouth.
14:42You don't tell anyone about this.
14:44They understand this never happened.
14:46This never happened.
14:47That said…
14:49I don't know.
15:21I don't know.
15:49I don't know.
16:16I don't know.
16:19I'm not sure whether you heard all that commotion last night.
16:28No, we were asleep.
16:30Both of us.
16:34No, right.
16:35Well, that's okay then.
16:37Ignore me.
16:59What the fuck are you staring at?
17:02Just seeing if you're all right.
17:04Why wouldn't I be?
17:05It's just last night.
17:06Fuck last night.
17:08No, yeah.
17:09Absolutely.
17:10Fuck last night.
17:18So are you nervous or?
17:20How the fuck would I be nervous?
17:21Well, first day of school.
17:23This is Dalkenny.
17:24This is where the fairies go.
17:25Oi, soft cock.
17:27Are you a boyfriend?
17:30Ignore them.
17:32These guys bothering you, Bambi?
17:33Nah, it's just banter.
17:35Big up the young man, dear, you little faggot.
17:38Great banter.
17:42These guys bothering you, Bambi?
17:46I'll ask you again.
17:48Are these guys bothering you?
18:00Is that a knife?
18:01Go to school.
18:02What?
18:02Go to school.
18:03You're not a witness if you don't see what happens.
18:04Look, just fucking go.
18:06Go to school.
18:40And at the heart of this relentless conflict lies a love story.
18:47Ah, Mr. Pallister.
18:49Nice of you to fit us into your busy schedule.
18:52Boys and girls, this is Ruben.
18:54Ruben will be joining us from now on.
18:58Where's your school uniform?
19:00On your mother's floor.
19:02That's enough, everyone.
19:06Disc at the back.
19:10And for the record, my mum's dead.
19:12So extra points for nihilism.
19:20Right.
19:20As I was saying, two households, like families.
19:25Both are better friends.
19:27Like girls.
19:28Like girls.
19:31So
19:32Sure.
19:44Bye.
19:47Bye.
19:48Bye.
19:49Bye.
19:51Bye.
19:51Bye.
19:52Bye.
19:53Bye.
20:00you've been working out Niall
20:02certainly has
20:03there's only an inch of space when I cut my hand
20:06around his bicep used to be at least two
20:08three maybe
20:09go into my room
20:12sit down you little
20:14killjoy
20:23we need you to persuade
20:25Rabin to go to the exam tomorrow
20:27what no way
20:28Niall please
20:30do this for us
20:31what are you doing
20:33stop that I'm not a kid
20:35that's exactly what you are
20:36get off me
20:37come on
20:38do this for me
20:39go on
20:40I need you to do this
20:42come on
20:42please
20:43go off me
20:44come on
20:45just this one thing
20:46please
20:46I said go off me
20:57I'll take it from here
21:08okay
21:10that
21:12you left fairly sizeable nice fire in the airport
21:17she's making all the effort in the world
21:18I don't care
21:20we're not friends
21:21we never will be
21:23come on
21:23fancy the pants off of her when you were a wee in
21:27remember the love letters we'd send to her house on valentine's day
21:34fine
21:35playtime's over
21:39look will you speak to him at least
21:41no
21:42no he's terrifying
21:43come on Niall
21:45you wouldn't believe how hard Mora had to work to get Ruben into Dulcanny
21:49she changed her postcodes and everything
21:52he's on probation too
21:53so he needs to show up and pass this prelim
21:55for the school to kick him out
22:07and I was like
22:10going OB he's journaling you live to the life of your wife
22:17после the next mid-season
22:18and then if you want to calm down
22:19I'm girlfriend
22:19and I will try
22:19and
22:21and
22:22turn
22:34Things got red, linked to what I never said
22:36Till me mouth become dead, which ain't not all that clever
22:43And it's not, not saying one thing, no, not another
22:46Rather, neither is it anything I haven't said, whatever
22:54What's Jesse?
22:55What do you mean?
22:56Am I speaking foreign?
22:58You tell anyone about this, I will put you to sleep.
23:01Do you understand?
23:01I mean, I thought it was great.
23:04I thought it was great.
23:30What do you want?
23:32Just a quick something that's come to me just now, in the moment.
23:39I was thinking about the exam tomorrow.
23:41Fuck off. Right, you are.
24:10You're dead.
24:18You're dead.
24:21How old are you again?
24:26When was he?
24:28When he died.
24:32What did he do again?
24:39He was a writer.
24:41Yeah?
24:43I don't remember that.
24:45Well, he worked in a pub mainly, but...
24:48He wanted to be a writer.
24:50And what did he write about?
24:55Working in a pub.
25:04He was really good though.
25:06I've read all his stuff.
25:08He was so close to getting published in the end.
25:11What stopped him?
25:13Well...
25:16Death.
25:30That's why I want to give it a shot myself, you know.
25:32You write too.
25:33I keep a diary.
25:36That doesn't count.
25:37Try sending that to Anne Frank.
25:39Who?
25:41No, she was just...
25:45It doesn't matter.
25:56What happened to Gus?
26:01He'll survive.
26:07I just thought with the knife you'd done something...
26:11You know...
26:13Really bad.
26:15Almost did.
26:17And I'm up against the wall with it, guppy and like mad.
26:22Whispered...
26:22Whispered...
26:22It'll be over soon.
26:25So he thought for a second I was gonna stick it in him proper.
26:29It'll be over soon.
26:34I love seeing that.
26:37You really get a sense of what a cunt looks like when they think they're gonna die.
26:42You're sort of infant-like.
26:44It's all innocent and shit.
26:45It's weird.
26:47It'll be over soon.
27:00Night, Bumpers.
27:04Night.
27:15Whoa!
27:16Look, where's your bulldog now, eh?
27:18A gust.
27:19Not the way you tell us, where Gus is.
27:20I don't know!
27:21We know you live where that unbred prick, you're bound to say something...
27:23We don't talk...
27:25Go on!
27:27Oi!
27:42Leave me alone.
28:06Leave me alone.
28:40Let's smoke this, son of a bitch!
28:42Woo!
28:43Woo!
28:44Come on!
28:45Come on!
28:45Pallister, nice of you to join.
28:47Please refrain from shouting out.
28:49It's only prelims.
28:50Where am I sitting?
28:51There's an empty chair there, two rows along.
28:54Please move quietly.
29:31There's an empty chair there.
29:39All right, guys.
29:40We have ten minutes left.
29:42Ten minutes?
29:42Get fucked.
29:43Language, Pallister.
29:45I started later than everyone.
29:46Well, I'm afraid the onus is on you there.
29:48Piss off, Jenkins.
29:49I shagged your mum in her onus.
29:53Pallister, get back here.
29:56Pallister, don't you walk away from me, son.
29:59Oi, I'm speaking to you.
30:24I'm speaking to you.
30:31All right, guys.
30:32Not long now.
30:57All right, guys.
31:17This girlfriend...
31:18Oh, Jesus.
31:20What now?
31:21Reuven passed.
31:24He passed the prelim.
31:26He can stay in school now.
31:29Oh.
31:30Really?
31:31Yeah.
31:34You helped him, didn't you?
31:36Oh, no, I...
31:38Last night, I heard you talking.
31:45I mean that.
31:49I know we haven't always seen it eye to eye.
31:52Mainly because you're a little brat who blames me for everything.
31:56I do think you could be a positive influence on my boy.
32:04Thanks.
32:07I think.
32:15Now, that feels weird.
32:18Let's never do that again.
32:50I've got to keep it down.
32:51Bambi's sleeping.
32:52Mm-hmm.
32:53Mm-hmm.
32:54Mm-hmm.
33:03Isn't it a bit weird doing this with a wee Nile in the room?
33:06No, I don't care.
33:07I passed the prelims today, and I did it in a speck of the time every other fucker.
33:11Stop it, Reuven.
33:11If I swear anymore, I'm going to put my back out.
33:15Shh!
33:15I don't.
33:16I thought you said you didn't care about him hearing.
33:18I don't.
33:19I just don't want my mum rubbing one out all week.
33:23Yeah.
33:24Take these off.
33:25I'm running from your skinny skin.
33:27Baby.
33:47Get a hear-year.
34:09Caught you, Niall Kennedy.
34:10What? No, I was sleeping.
34:12Fuck off. We saw you.
34:14I wasn't. I was sleeping.
34:15Liar. At least admit it, you little scrote.
34:17You were pervy.
34:19Pervy little Niall Kennedy, eh?
34:23So, tell me, did you see anything that you liked?
34:33Quite something, huh?
34:35Is this the first time you've seen a naked woman?
34:40In the flesh.
34:44And what do you think?
34:47She...
34:49She...
34:49She...
34:50She looks...
34:50What would you do to her, Niall?
34:52If you could have your way?
34:56Go on.
34:59I would...
35:00I'd ask her for her permission.
35:03Obviously.
35:04Fucking loser, aren't you, Bambi?
35:06Touch my breath, Niall.
35:08What?
35:22Here.
35:23Let's see how he's getting on, shall we?
35:26What?
35:26No, no, no, no.
35:27Wait, wait, wait, wait.
35:27No, no, no, no.
35:28That's fine.
35:29Bambi, just relax.
35:31Okay?
35:31Let her do her thing.
35:47Well, nothing.
35:50What's going on?
35:51You got something against Mona?
35:52Is it my boobs?
35:53What?
35:54No, it's just...
35:55This isn't how I pictured it.
35:57Well, how did you picture it then?
35:58More than one woman.
36:01That's it, isn't it?
36:03Niall here loves group sex.
36:05No, no, I don't...
36:06Well, little Niall Kennedy loves a bit of group sex.
36:10Well, I could assume different characters, if you like.
36:14I could be Candy, a blonde bombshell who lives next door.
36:19Or I could be Svetlana, Russian warrior of the North.
36:25Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
36:27She's incredible, isn't she now?
36:29There's something to keep her.
36:31Uh-uh.
36:32Svetlana is kept by no one.
36:34How's he getting on now, then?
36:37Come on, son.
36:38I got Phil Marks on my Santa grades back in the day, Niall.
36:41I know you love a nerd.
36:45Here.
36:47Just focus on how things feel.
36:49Give me your finger.
37:01Oh, hello.
37:03Here we go, my man.
37:06You ready?
37:07Oh, hello.
37:08Do it now
37:09Over here.
37:09Oh.
37:12юh.
37:30Oh.
37:31Oh, oh.
37:31Oh, oh.
37:32Oh, oh.
37:33Oh, oh.
37:34Oh, oh.
37:37Steady
37:46Wow, he's a grower young Niall
37:57Sorry back you go mister
38:01Fighting let her do the same
38:04Yeah, I'll hold our brain. What?
38:16Oh
38:16Hold it, sir. Hold it
38:20Follow my rhythm
38:41Wow, he's really going for a night
39:09Fuck's sake, did you just call me?
39:13You fucking did you mink?
39:15Oh no, for our feet are all now, son. You need to pull out
39:18Fuck's sake, I better not be pregnant
39:20I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, it just came out of nowhere
39:23Relax, son, it's fine
39:24But I mean like, what happens now?
39:28Will I get the virus?
39:34Do you mean AIDS?
39:47Oh
39:52Lie back, you daft cunt
40:00So
40:02Is that it then?
40:05That's it, Bambi
40:17I'm sorry, wasn't
40:18If you were
40:19If you were
40:54I was just thinking,
40:57do you have any
40:59hush?
41:06We can bake
41:07now, Kennedy.
41:09Dark horse, my man.
41:18Now, Kennedy, eh?
41:21Sex god,
41:22drug fiend.
41:36I don't wanna play.
41:41Let me take a breath when I left.
41:42I'm so sure.
41:43I have to go.
41:43I'm so sure.
41:47I don't want to break my mind.
41:48I can't see you all.
41:49I can't see you all.
42:14Well, I get the virus.
42:18Oh, I feel like I'm going to do it.
42:22No, you're good.
42:26I know what you did.
42:29As in?
42:31Yeah.
42:33Oh.
42:37I've never seen her look at me like that before.
42:42I've seen her cry loads.
42:47You know, but...
42:53I like this.
42:55It works.
43:03What did you make of Mona, then?
43:05Yeah, I liked her.
43:06Yeah, you fucking did.
43:09You can thank me when you're ready.
43:13Someone had to lose your virginity for you, didn't they?
43:17Oh, come on.
43:18You didn't think that was chance, did you?
43:21There's no way a lassie would take time out from sleeping with me to sleep with you.
43:27I set it up.
43:29My way of saying thanks.
43:37So, come on.
43:38Tell me you loved it.
43:43I loved it.
43:45Yeah, you did.
43:49I should run a brothel or something.
43:51I'm like the Pied Piper of pussy.
43:56I'm like the Pied Piper.
43:58Yeah.
44:11At that point.
44:15Yeah.
44:22I was like to drive.
44:23Yes, sir.
44:39I'm imagining these massive vaginas
44:43with legs falling through the roots.
44:51You're a banger, papi.
45:16Can I see something?
45:18See that?
45:22Yeah.
45:31I'm afraid so.
45:36Does it bother you or something?
45:39No.
45:40They're not really.
45:43As long as they're happy, I guess.
45:47Although they don't seem all that happy.
45:55There's a lot you don't know about.
46:09Yeah.
46:12I've got you something.
46:20I'm going to train you.
46:22Just in case something happens to me, I need to know you'll look after yourself.
46:28Why do you care?
46:32We're family now.
46:35It's the most important thing.
46:39My brother, if I'm another lover.
46:48Come on, boys.
46:49School.
46:51Bring those thin bags down while you're at it.
46:56This is going to be some morning.
46:58We'll be floating to school after all that.
47:05Hey.
47:09You've got nothing to worry about with our mums.
47:12Ten years time, you'll be at a party somewhere and realise it makes you more interesting.
47:23Oh, yeah, Bambas.
48:02Just cause I ain't never had no nothing worth having, never, ever, never, ever.
48:12You ain't got no call not to think of what I'm falling to thinking I ain't too clever.
48:23And it ain't not having one thing or not another, either, neither is it anything, whatever.
48:28Ever.
48:33And it's not, not knowing that there ain't nothing showing, and I'll ask you to the name,
48:38of Trevor.
48:41However.
48:46Knock me down with a feather.
48:51Clever Trevor.
48:56Why browse wonder whether clever Trevor's clever
49:05No, neither, haven't not got no right to make a clock out of Trevor
49:48No, I don't know
50:01It won't work, Bambi.
50:03Here.
50:04Have a sip.
50:16Hey.
50:17Easy.
50:18Sip.
50:18Don't chug.
50:19Come on.
50:21That's it.
50:23Damn it.
50:31Jesus.
50:33You're dripping.
50:37Let's sort this out.
50:40We're gonna stay here.
50:42All right.
50:44Hey, it's gonna be okay.
50:47You're gonna be fine.
50:51Hey.
50:52Hey.
50:52Hey, it's gonna be all right.
50:54Don't.
50:54Hey.
50:55Come on.
50:56Nihal.
50:56Please.
50:57No.
50:57Please.
50:58Hey.
50:58Hey.
50:59Settle.
50:59Settle.
51:00Settle.
51:01Don't do that.
51:02Settle.
51:02No, no, no.
51:03Settle.
51:04Settle.
51:04Just breathe.
51:05Hey.
51:06Hey.
51:07It's fine.
51:08No, it's fine.
51:09Just settle a bit.
51:11Settle.
51:12Here.
51:13Follow my breath.
51:19There's no following my breath.
51:21I can't.
51:22Follow it.
51:22I can't.
51:23Try.
51:23Yes, you can.
51:24You fucking can.
51:25Come on.
51:26Come on.
51:26Follow it.
51:49Hey.
51:50See?
51:56I said go with it, go with it, no no no, that's it, that's it boy, just breathe, okay, I'm
52:05here for you, just keep breathing, that's it, that's it boy, don't worry, it'll be over soon.
52:24I swear to God.
Comments