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Half.Man.S01E01.540p.X265.AAC [Full Movie] [Watch Free Online]Full EP - Full
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00:26This is a production of WGBH.
00:53I'm not speaking about this.
00:58You don't have to speak.
01:00You have to listen.
01:03Really?
01:06You picked today.
01:09My fucking wedding.
01:16Come on, Truman, stop messing.
01:21Put your top back on.
01:34Oh, for fuck's sake.
01:45Oh, Niall.
01:53Come here.
01:55Come here.
02:02I'm proud of you, yeah?
02:05You know that?
02:13You look gorgeous, so you do.
02:15I tell you, if I wasn't family, I'd get up and underneath that kilt right away.
02:20No, Ruben, don't.
02:21What?
02:22I tell you, you look gorgeous.
02:24Come on, show me.
02:24There's nothing to show, Ruben.
02:25I've got boxes on underneath, for Christ's sake.
02:27Oh, boxers.
02:28Stop teasing me, you little mate.
02:33Hey.
02:34Yeah.
02:35Come here, look at me.
02:36Look at me.
02:38That's it.
02:41Look at me.
02:44We may not flow through each other's veins, but we flow through each other's brains, you
02:49get me?
02:50Please, I don't think that...
02:50One more time, eh?
02:52For all time's sake.
02:54I just need to hear it.
02:57Before I lose you forever.
02:58You're not serious.
03:01Go on.
03:02Say it.
03:03What am I?
03:08Your brother from...
03:16You're not the longer.
03:21You're not the longer.
03:22Beautiful.
03:26No!
03:52Come on, give us your best, you little fight.
04:04What is this now?
04:06Oh, fucking stickers.
04:09Indiana Jones.
04:12That film is gay as fuck.
04:14I'm gonna have these.
04:16No, please, Gus.
04:20You can keep one, okay?
04:23I'm not a monster.
04:25Pick one.
04:29Second to last.
04:30Good.
04:33Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
04:52Open up.
05:00Okay, degenerate, settle down, settle down.
05:05Right, as we know, the prelim exams start this week.
05:10Are we aware of how important they are?
05:15The prelims are your safety net, for whatever reason you missed your finals.
05:21You get hit by a bus.
05:22You come down with a bubonic plague.
05:24These exams are your get-out-of-jail with an appeals card.
05:27Have I emphasized their importance enough?
05:33Positively spellbinding.
06:04Right, moving on.
06:05Pullman Young Offenders Institute, and we'll be re-sitting two years, which means they'll be a little more feral than
06:12the rest of you.
06:13Any questions?
06:17Nobody.
06:18Good.
06:18Open your jars, we'll pick up where we left off you after the day.
06:22Page 16.
06:26Kennedy.
06:27Did you listen to what I just said?
06:30What?
06:30Yeah.
06:31Of course.
06:33What did I just say then?
06:37Ruben's back.
06:50Mum, it's Niall.
06:52Honey, I'm working.
06:52What is it?
06:53It's just Ruben.
06:54He's out.
06:54He's coming to school.
06:55Look, now is not the time, alright?
06:57He's not staying with us, is he?
06:58We can talk about this with us.
06:59I'll pick you up.
07:00But Mum...
07:21You should have said about her then.
07:22Don't piss yourself!
07:24You're a fifteen-year-old boy.
07:26Given your life, I don't need to give you respect.
07:32Look, I'm sorry.
07:34Okay?
07:35I should have told you.
07:37I'm keeping with the theme of surprises.
07:39He's moved into your room.
07:42What?
07:42No way.
07:43What did you think that second bed was for?
07:44We were almost begging you to ask.
07:46I thought it was for guests.
07:47He is a guest.
07:48No, he's not.
07:49He's a psycho.
07:50He bit someone's nose off.
07:51I've seen the guy too.
07:52It's horrible.
07:53His wife left him and everything.
08:03Look, you're not to talk about this, okay?
08:05Nobody in this town knows about that.
08:07The last thing that boy needs is folk whispering.
08:09Don't bite people's noses off then.
08:11No!
08:11Shh!
08:11You're not to speak this way in front tomorrow.
08:13Alright?
08:13Oh, you always put her first.
08:15She was only supposed to be living with us for six months.
08:17And now her kid is moving in.
08:18Come on, Mum.
08:19He's a psycho.
08:20Her son getting out is a big deal.
08:23He's been away for two years.
08:24For Christ's sake.
08:25This is happening, Niall.
08:27So get used to it.
08:28Oh, no.
08:30Uh-oh.
08:31Yeah.
08:35Oh, no.
08:39Oh, no.
08:41Oh, no.
08:42Oh, no.
08:43Oh, no.
08:47Oh, no.
08:53Oh, no, no.
09:22Remember me, Bambi?
09:24Last time I saw you, you were about yea high.
09:33Grown at least two feet since then. Maybe more.
09:36You've got the exact same size head though. Creeping me out a bit.
09:46You helping or what?
09:48We can't have this shit up.
09:50No one for bringing Buds home. Here.
09:56Get to it then, Bambi. Grab a bag, get stuff in.
10:07Here. Take that poster down and put this up.
10:26Put it up then, you dick.
10:54What the fuck are you staring at?
10:58What? Nothing.
11:26It looks like Pallister's a no-show. Off to a great start.
11:31All right, everyone. Open your jotters. We'll pick up from yesterday.
11:44Right, what's going on here?
11:50Kennedy.
11:52Open your jotter.
11:55No.
11:57Open, boy.
12:06Who did this?
12:08Oh, no. Come on.
12:13Uh...
12:14Me, sir.
12:15You?
12:16You called your own mum a dyke?
12:18No, I called someone else's mum a dyke.
12:21Really?
12:22I know first-hand from your essays.
12:24Your grasp of irony isn't that strong.
12:28So, come on.
12:29Who did this?
12:34My mum is not a lesbian.
12:36I beg your pardon?
12:37I said my mum is not a fucking lesbian.
12:44Now, come with me.
12:45Go off me, you nods!
12:47What did you say?
12:48Like to touch young boys, do you?
12:50You fucking old poof!
12:53I'm just wondering if there's something else we should be worrying about.
12:56What are you insinuating?
12:57All I'm saying is I've seen a change in Niall recently.
13:00Then what change is that, then?
13:01He's gone from being a committed, gifted student to one that acts out in most lessons.
13:05Sir, go on. I know you're going to.
13:07Well, we have to call into question Niall's rather unusual state of affairs at home.
13:10You don't know anything about my damn home!
13:28You fucking fucking bastard there!
13:35Oi, Ruth! I know you're up there!
13:38What?
13:39What?
13:40I've been sitting about by a muck all day waiting!
13:45Is that your dad?
13:46What the fuck?
13:47I'll wait no cunts!
13:49Hear me!
13:53You're not a muck!
13:55I'm not these fucking muck!
13:57You get down here and explain why you stay with that dite!
14:03It's not me!
14:05You bet!
14:06Son!
14:07You start again eh?
14:09What do you give your old man a big hug, eh?
14:15I'm a think I can't see boy!
14:21I'll get, I'll get Mum.
14:26Don't shut her.
14:27Fucking deal.
14:31Not a word, okay?
14:33Not a fucking word.
14:39Don't shut your mother.
14:42You don't tell anyone about this.
14:44Do you understand?
14:45This never happened.
14:46I can't believe it.
14:47Shut your mother.
14:47True that.
14:56Off the exit.
14:57No.
14:59No.
15:01No.
15:02No.
15:02No.
15:03No.
15:04No.
15:04No.
15:04No.
15:04No.
15:05No.
15:05No.
15:06No.
15:18I don't know.
15:36I don't know.
16:15I don't know.
16:16So, boys, I am not sure whether you heard all that commotion last night.
16:28Now we were asleep, both of us.
16:34Oh, right. Well, that's okay then. Ignore me.
16:37I don't know.
16:59Fuck are you staring up?
17:02Just seeing if you're all right.
17:04Why wouldn't I be?
17:05It's just last night.
17:06Fuck last night.
17:08Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
17:10Fuck last night.
17:18So are you nervous, or...?
17:20How the fuck would I be nervous?
17:21Well, first day of school.
17:23This is Dal Kenny. It's where the fairies go.
17:25Oi! Soft cock!
17:27Are you a boyfriend?
17:30Ignore them.
17:32These guys bothering you, Bambi?
17:33Nah, it's just banter.
17:35Big up the Amun, dear, you little faggot!
17:38Great banter.
17:42These guys bothering you, Bambi?
17:46I'll ask you again.
17:48Are these guys bothering you?
18:00Is that a knife?
18:01Go to school.
18:02What?
18:02Go to school. You're not a witness if you don't see what happens.
18:04Look, I...
18:05Just fucking go!
18:08Oh!
18:40And at the heart of this relentless conflict...
18:43lies a love story.
18:47Ah, Mr. Pallister.
18:49Nice of you to fit us into your busy schedule.
18:52Boys and girls, this is Ruben.
18:54Ruben will be joining us from now on.
18:59Where's your school uniform?
19:00On your mother's floor.
19:03That's enough, everyone.
19:06Desk at the back.
19:10And for the record, my mum's dead.
19:11So extra points for nihilism.
19:20Right.
19:21As I was saying,
19:22two households
19:23like families.
19:25Both
19:25in a better future.
19:27Like us.
19:28In a better future.
19:56I was a niet-
20:00You've been working out, Niall?
20:02Certainly has.
20:04There was only an inch of space when I cut my hand around his bicep.
20:07Used to be at least two, three maybe.
20:09I'm going to my room.
20:10No, don't!
20:12Sit down, you little killjoy.
20:24We need you to persuade Ruben to go to the exam tomorrow.
20:27What? No way.
20:28Niall, please.
20:30Do this for us.
20:31What are you doing?
20:34Stop that, I'm not a kid.
20:35That's exactly what you want.
20:37Get off me.
20:37Oh, come on.
20:38Do this for me.
20:39Go on, go on.
20:40Come on, Niall.
20:41I need you to do this.
20:42Come on.
20:43Please.
20:43Go off me.
20:44Come on.
20:45Come on, just this one thing.
20:46Oh, please.
20:47I said go off me.
20:48Oh!
20:57I'll take it from you.
21:08Okay.
21:10God.
21:12You've got a fairly sizable nice fire in the airport.
21:16She's making all the effort in the world.
21:18I don't care.
21:20We're not friends.
21:21We never will be.
21:23Come on.
21:24You fancied the pants off of her when you were a wee in.
21:27Remember the love letters we'd send to her house on Valentine's Day?
21:34Fine.
21:35Playtime's over.
21:39Look, will you speak to him at least?
21:41No.
21:42No, he's terrifying.
21:44Oh, come on, Niall.
21:45You wouldn't believe how hard Maura had to work to get Ruben into Dalkenny.
21:49She changed her postcodes and everything.
21:52He's on probation, too, so he needs to show up and pass this prelim,
21:55for the school will kick him out.
21:59Bye, Kevin.
22:00Bye, Kevin.
22:10Bye, Kevin.
22:37I'm not saying one thing, no, not another, rather, neither is it anything I haven't said.
22:54What's this?
22:55What do you mean?
22:56Am I speaking foreign?
22:57That's what he does.
22:58You tell anyone about this I will put you to sleep.
23:01Do you understand?
23:01I won't.
23:02I mean, I thought it was great.
23:04I thought it was great.
23:29What do you want?
23:32Just a quick something that's come to me just now, in the moment.
23:39I was thinking about the exam tomorrow.
23:41Fuck off.
23:42Right you are.
24:10You're dead.
24:18What about him?
24:21How old were you again?
24:26I was eight.
24:28When I died.
24:32What did he do again?
24:39He was a writer.
24:41Yeah?
24:43I don't remember that.
24:45Well, he worked in a pub mainly, but he wanted to be a writer.
24:50And what did he write about?
24:55Working in a pub.
25:04He was really good though.
25:06I've read all his stuff.
25:08He was so close to getting published in the end.
25:10What stopped him?
25:13Well.
25:16Death.
25:29That's why I want to give it a shot myself, you know.
25:32You're right too.
25:34I keep a diary.
25:36That doesn't count.
25:37Try sending that to Anne Frank.
25:39Who?
25:41No, she was just...
25:45It doesn't matter.
25:57What happened to Gus?
26:02He'll survive.
26:07I just thought with the knife you'd done something, you know, really bad.
26:15Almost did.
26:17And I'm up against the wall with it, guppy and like mad.
26:22Whispered, it'll be over soon.
26:25So he thought for a second I was going to stick it in him proper.
26:29It'll be over soon.
26:34I love seeing that.
26:37You really get a sense of what a cunt looks like when they think they're going to die.
26:42You're sort of infant-like.
26:44It's all innocent and shit.
26:45It's weird.
26:47It'll be over soon.
27:00Night, Bumpers.
27:04Night.
27:11Night, Bumpers.
27:11Night, Bumpers.
27:15Oh!
27:17Where's a bulldog now, eh?
27:18Gauss!
27:19What are you telling us where Gauss is?
27:20I don't know.
27:21We know you live with that inbred prick.
27:22He bound to say something.
27:23We don't talk.
27:25God!
27:27Oi!
27:42Leave me alone.
28:38Leave me alone.
28:40Smoke this, son of a bitch!
28:42Woo! Woo!
28:44Come on! Come on!
28:45Pallister, nice of you to join.
28:47Please refrain from shouting out.
28:49It's only prelims.
28:50Where am I sitting?
28:51There's an empty chair there, two rows along.
28:54Please move quietly.
29:39All right, guys.
29:40We have ten minutes left.
29:42Ten minutes? Get fucked.
29:43Language, Pallister.
29:45I started later than everyone.
29:46Well, I'm afraid the onus is on you there.
29:48Piss off, Jenkins.
29:49I shagged your mum in her onus.
29:53Pallister!
29:54Get back here!
29:56Pallister!
29:57Don't you walk away from me, son.
29:59Oi!
30:00I'm speaking to you.
30:02I'm speaking to you.
30:03I'm speaking to you.
30:31All right, guys.
30:32Not long now.
31:16The school fund.
31:18Oh, Jesus. What now?
31:21Reuben passed.
31:23He passed the prelim.
31:26He can stay in school now.
31:29Oh, really?
31:31Yeah.
31:34You helped him, didn't you?
31:36Oh, no, I...
31:38Last night, I heard you talking.
31:45I mean that.
31:49I know we haven't always seen it eye to eye.
31:52Mainly because you're a little brat who blames me for everything.
31:56I do think you could be a positive influence on my boy.
32:04Thanks.
32:07I think.
32:15No, that feels weird.
32:19Let's never do that again.
32:20I know we're feeling tired.
32:20But, you know what he does?
32:22Sometimes counts.
32:32But...
32:48Maybe...
32:50I've got to keep it down. Bambi's sleeping.
33:03Isn't it a bit weird doing this with a wee Nile in the room?
33:06I don't care. I passed the prelims today and I did it in a speck at the time every other
33:10fucker.
33:11Stop it, Ruben. If I swear anymore, I'm going to put my back out.
33:14Shh! I don't know.
33:16I thought you said you didn't care about him hearing.
33:18What are you doing? I just don't want my mum rubbing one out all week.
33:24Yeah, TV's off. I want it for you, Scal, Scal.
33:27Oh, baby.
33:47Okay, here, here.
34:09Caught you, Nile Kennedy.
34:10What? No, I was sleeping.
34:12Fuck off. We saw you.
34:14I wasn't. I was sleeping.
34:15Liar. At least admit it, you little scrote. You were perving.
34:19Pervy little Niall Kennedy, eh?
34:23So, tell me.
34:26Did you see anything that you liked?
34:33Quite something, huh?
34:35Is this the first time you've seen a naked woman?
34:40In the flesh.
34:44And what do you think?
34:49She looks...
34:50What would you do to her, Niall, if you could have your way?
34:56Go on.
34:59I would... I'd ask her for her permission.
35:03Obviously.
35:04Fucking loser, aren't you, Bambi?
35:06Touch my breath, Niall.
35:08What?
35:23Here. Let's see how he's getting on, shall we?
35:25What?
35:26No, no, no, no. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
35:27No, no, no, no, no.
35:28That's fine, Bambi.
35:30Just relax, okay?
35:31Let her do her thing.
35:47Wow.
35:49Nothing.
35:50What's going on? You got something against Mona?
35:52Is it my boobs?
35:53What?
35:54No, it's just...
35:55This isn't how I pictured it.
35:57How does your picture it, then?
35:58More than one woman.
36:01That's it, isn't it?
36:03Niall here loves group sex.
36:05No, no, I don't...
36:06Well, little Niall Kennedy loves a bit of group sex.
36:10Well, I could assume different characters, if you like.
36:14I could be Candy, a blonde bombshell who lives next door.
36:19Or I could be a Svetlana, Russian warrior of the North.
36:27She's incredible, isn't she, now?
36:29There's something to keep her.
36:31Uh-uh.
36:31Svetlana is kept by no one.
36:34How's he getting on now, then?
36:37Come on, son.
36:38I...
36:38I got Phil Marks on my Santa grades back in the day, Niall.
36:41I know you love a nerd.
36:45Here.
36:47Just focus on how things feel.
36:49Give me your finger.
37:02Oh, hello.
37:03Here we go, my man.
37:06You ready?
37:16Oh.
37:32That's it, that's it.
37:34Easy, boy, easy.
37:36Steady, steady.
37:41Chop, don't gallop.
37:47Oh, wow.
37:47He's a grower, young Niall.
37:53Oh?
37:57Sorry.
37:58Back you go, mister.
38:00No, no, no, wait.
38:00Stop it.
38:01Fighting.
38:02You let her do her thing.
38:04Here.
38:05I'll hold it up, Ray.
38:06What?
38:16Hold it, son.
38:18Hold it.
38:20For the man of them.
38:41Wow, he's really going for a night.
39:09For fuck's sake, did you just call me me?
39:13You fucking did, you mink!
39:15Oh no, for my feet are all.
39:17Now, son, you need to pull out.
39:18For fuck's sake, I better not be pregnant.
39:20I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.
39:21It just came out of nowhere.
39:23Relax, son, it's fine.
39:25But I mean, like, what happens now?
39:28Will I get the virus?
39:32What?
39:36Do you mean AIDS?
39:52Lie back, you daft cunt.
40:01So, is that it, then?
40:05That's it, Bambi.
40:11I'm sorry.
40:28How's that?
40:30I'm sorry.
40:31I'm sorry.
40:33I'm sorry.
40:34I'm sorry.
40:35I'm sorry.
40:54I was just thinking, do you have any hash?
41:06We can bake Niall Kennedy. Dark Horse, my man.
41:18Niall Kennedy, eh?
41:21Sex God, drug fiend.
42:05I was thinking, do you have any questions?
42:06I was thinking, do you have any questions?
42:14Well, I get the virus.
42:18Oh, I feel the kind of deal.
42:22Nah, you're good.
42:26I know what you did.
42:29As in?
42:31You got him.
42:32Oh.
42:37I've never seen her look at me like that before.
42:42I've seen her cry loads.
42:47You know, but...
42:53I like this.
42:55It works.
43:03What did you make of Mona, then?
43:05Yeah, I liked her.
43:07Yeah, you fucking did.
43:09You can thank me when you're ready.
43:13Someone had to lose your virginity for you, didn't they?
43:17Oh, come on.
43:18You didn't think that was chance, did you?
43:22There's no way.
43:23There's no way a lassie would take time out from sleeping with me to sleep with you.
43:27I set it up.
43:29My way of saying thanks.
43:37So, come on.
43:38Tell me you loved it.
43:42I loved it.
43:45Yeah, you did.
43:49I should run a brothel or something.
43:51I'm like the Pied Piper of pussy.
43:55He I did.
44:10He I she
44:12He he he I
44:14He I he he he he
44:39I'm imagining these massive vaginas with legs falling to the roots.
44:51Hang on, Papi.
45:16Can I ask you something, do I, around Mum's, you know, fucking?
45:31Yeah, afraid so.
45:36Does it bother you or something?
45:40No, no, not really. As long as they're happy, I guess.
45:47Although they don't seem all that happy.
45:55There's a lot you don't know about.
46:12Here. Got you something.
46:20I'm gonna train you.
46:22Just in case something happens to me, I need to know you'll look after yourself.
46:28Why do you care?
46:32We're family now.
46:35It's the most important thing.
46:39My brother, if I'm another lover.
46:48Come on, boys! School!
46:50Bring those friend bags down while you're at it.
46:56This is gonna be some morning.
46:58We'll be floating to school after all that.
47:05Hey.
47:09You've got nothing to worry about with our mums.
47:12Ten years time, you'll be at a party somewhere and realise it makes you more interesting.
47:23We have members.
47:25We have members.
47:53We have members.
47:55We have members.
48:03We have members.
48:07We have members.
48:13You've got a call not to think of what I'm falling through.
48:16Thinking I ain't too clever.
48:23And it ain't not having one thing or not another
48:25Rather neither is it anything, whatever
48:33And it's not, not knowing that there ain't nothing showing
48:36In the eyes of the name of Trevor
48:41However
48:46Knocked me down with a feather
48:50Clever Trevor
48:56Why browse wonder whether clever Trevor's clever
49:05No, neither haven't not got no right to make a clock out of Trevor
49:23No, there aren't no right to make a clock out ofhonents
49:25Elliott
49:26What are you doing?
49:33We've got a list of no time
49:33325-09V
49:33It's just a listen, it's just a breathing
49:33This isn't a listen, it's a listen
49:35Mm-hmm.
50:01Won't work, Bambi.
50:02Here, have a sip.
50:15Hey, easy. Sip, don't chug.
50:19Come on. That's it.
50:22Damn it.
50:30Jesus. You're dripping.
50:37Let's fill this out.
50:39We're gonna stay here.
50:42All right.
50:44Hey, it's gonna be okay.
50:47You're gonna be fine.
50:51Hey. Hey, it's gonna be all right.
50:53Hey. Don't. Hey. Come on.
50:56Please.
50:58Hey, hey. Settle. Settle. Settle.
51:01Settle.
51:03No, no, no, no. Settle. Settle. Just breathe.
51:05Hey.
51:06Hey.
51:07It's fine.
51:08No, it's fine. Just settle a bit.
51:11Settle.
51:12Here.
51:13Follow my breath.
51:19There's no following my breath.
51:21I can't.
51:22Follow it.
51:22I can't.
51:23Try. Yes, you can. You fucking can.
51:25Come on.
51:25Follow it.
51:26Come on. Follow it.
51:49Hey. See?
51:52Look at this.
51:54Yeah.
51:56That's it. Go with it. Go with it.
51:59No, no, no. That's it. That's it, boy.
52:02Just breathe.
52:04Okay. I'm here for you.
52:08Just keep breathing.
52:10That's it. That's it, boy.
52:15Don't worry.
52:18It'll be over soon.
52:26I'll be over soon.
52:40Don't worry.
52:46I'll be over soon, too.
53:11Transcription by CastingWords
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