00:13finally from here in london under the heading is nobody safe anymore a royal ruckus has started
00:19over the man who had an audience with queen elizabeth uninvited and unannounced in the queen's
00:24bedroom in the middle of the night the man had cut himself on a broken window and left blood
00:29stains on the queen's bed yesterday's intruder was able to get through an elaborate system of
00:35electronic alarms as well as past palace guards and police the man was identified as 30 year old
00:41michael fagan a police investigation indicates that fagan climbed over a fence into the 51 acre
00:46palace grounds during the night he then reported he climbed a drain pipe and entered the royal
00:50quarters through a window and made his way to the queen's private bedroom on the first floor
00:55for 10 minutes he sat talking six feet away from the queen then he asked her for a cigarette
01:01according to his mother he spoke of a girlfriend called elizabeth living in sw1 the incident has
01:07shocked britain and resulted in a scotland yard investigation of royal security mrs thatcher made
01:13an urgent return to the house of commons today ahead of a statement from the home secretary the house
01:18will admire the calm way in which her majesty responded to what occurred the queen has carried
01:24on performing her duties seemingly unperturbed despite the unprecedented and severe level of
01:30threat that the intruder posed the incident left royal commentators asking two questions
01:37how on earth did he get in and what did they talk about
01:43you
02:06you
02:19you
02:21you
02:21you
03:23Fuck off.
03:24Fuck off.
03:26Fuck off.
03:26The successful people, the people who are concerned they are determined to get ahead.
03:47More travel and news after this.
04:54Next.
04:57Megan.
04:58Name.
04:59Michael Fagan.
04:59Any work in the past two weeks?
05:02Every fortnight I come in here and every fortnight you ask me the same question.
05:07Any work in the past two weeks?
05:09I chaired the Olympic Committee.
05:11Then I did a few days as Secretary General of the United Nations.
05:17Next.
05:18Number one.
05:19I've passed.
05:21I'm on the left.
05:45I've passed.
05:48bill hello mate how are you doing all right you yeah okay yeah have you still got that mate the
05:56uh
05:58what's it the cash in hand fella yeah yeah yeah you can swear whatever you have i will take
06:09all right then let's get on with this as soon as you finish as soon as we're not
06:14right 28 pages 28 pages 28 pages come over my life
06:45oh
06:55michael's
07:07What are you doing?
07:08I told you never to come here.
07:10I need to talk to you about the flat.
07:12Not tonight, Michael.
07:15How are the kids?
07:16They're fine.
07:17Now go.
07:23Who's that twat?
07:24Don't be rude.
07:24Who is it?
07:25Someone who works for a living and looks after your kids.
07:28Now go.
07:29He's a fucking twat.
07:30You're a fucking twat.
07:31Michael, I mean it.
07:32Don't stop.
07:32Do you want, son?
07:33Maybe I do.
07:34Yeah?
07:35Maybe you're not worth it.
07:36Well, maybe you haven't got any balls.
07:38No, God.
07:39Shut up.
07:39Fucking balls.
07:41I've got balls.
07:42Let me tell you something else.
07:43She knows all about my balls.
07:45That's enough out of you, all right?
07:47Don't stop, Michael.
07:49Fucking come on, Michael.
07:50Fucking come on.
07:51Fucking doing it.
07:53Fucking doing it.
07:55Fucking doing it.
07:55Fucking do it.
07:56I'm not fucking kidding.
07:58I'm not fucking kidding.
08:00You fucking kidding.
08:01Fucking do it.
08:02I'm not fucking messing around.
08:07I'm not fucking kidding.
08:09Cause he's a monkey.
08:13Cause he's a monkey.
08:15Cause he's a monkey.
08:16Cause he's a winy, winy monkey man.
08:18I am very happy to say that after the recapture of South Georgia last week,
08:43our forces have now escalated operations. An RAF Vulcan and accompanying support plane have
08:51successfully carried out bombing raids near the capital. Any casualties? None. Enemy forces attempted
08:58to mount a counterattack, but one Argentine Canberra and one Mirage were successfully shot
09:04down by our Harriers. I think we can confidently say the tide has turned and the recapture of
09:14the Falkland Islands is within reach. The Prime Minister came to see me today. I hope you rolled
09:23out the red carpet. Why would I do that? Everyone was against us going to the Falklands,
09:26but she believed we could pull it off, and now victory is within sight. Her victory.
09:32She's finally doing what we've been waiting years for someone to do. Which is?
09:36Lead this country firmly and decisively after years of incompetence and mismanagement.
09:45She brought up the subject of palace security again, which infuriated me. Why?
09:50Do you want our walls to be built even higher? Or the public to stand ten feet further back
09:54at engagements? I take great pleasure in meeting members of the public and have learnt so much
10:00from them. You remember the lesson Lord Aldrin taught us. 25 years ago, we were given the
10:07advice to be more transparent, accessible, to lower the drawbridge. It doesn't feel right
10:13to be pulling it out again.
10:23Right. Gloves on.
10:25We've identified and prepared a few suitable members of the general public for you to meet.
10:30But no questions. No actual conversation. No, ma'am.
10:34Right. Let's get this over with.
10:46Sp collaborator.
10:46Why is thaté«„on like this?
10:47Marone.
10:51What do you do?
10:52Point to stares.
10:53You have a book and asked me how can I do?
10:58Do you still find time to pay gigs?
11:14I was brought up by a Victorian grandmother.
11:17You were taught to work jolly hard.
11:19You were taught to improve yourself.
11:21You were taught self-reliance.
11:24You were taught to live within your income.
11:26You were taught that cleanliness was next to God's house.
11:29Megan.
11:30Name.
11:31Uh, Bond. James Bond.
11:33Any work in the past two weeks?
11:35Yes. International espionage agent.
11:37You know, intelligence work. Counterintelligence.
11:40Assassination.
11:44Twat.
11:45I've got a question for you.
11:47Who's your boss? I want to make a complaint.
11:49If you feel you've been treated unfairly,
11:51please speak to your Member of Parliament,
11:52who can refer you to the Parliamentary Ombudsman.
11:56Oh.
12:00You know you're the fucking twat.
12:07While your process with the rest of the economy works its way through them,
12:11one of the consequences appears to be very high unemployment,
12:14unemployment which is rising.
12:16Now, it's, can I put it this way,
12:19it's like a nurse looking after an ill patient.
12:22Which is the better nurse?
12:23The one who smothers the patient with sympathy.
12:27Never mind, dear.
12:28There, there.
12:28You just lie back.
12:30I'll bring you all your meals.
12:31I'll bring you papers.
12:33There, there.
12:33You just lie back.
12:34I'll look after you.
12:36Or the nurse who says,
12:37Now, come on.
12:38I'll just shake out of it.
12:40I know you had an operation yesterday.
12:42It's time you put your feet to the ground and took a few steps.
12:44That's right, dear.
12:45That's right.
12:46Now get back and take a few more tomorrow.
12:48So, what do you think is the better nurse?
12:51Well, I know which sounds like you, Mrs.
12:53Ha, ha, ha.
13:16How can I help?
13:18Mr. Fagan.
13:20I wanted to talk to someone about the system.
13:23Which system?
13:24This system, Britain.
13:27What is it about the system that bothers you?
13:30Um, it's unfair.
13:32And a disgrace.
13:34It says here you're currently unemployed.
13:36What do you do normally?
13:39I'm a painter decorator.
13:40But there's not a lot of work around recently.
13:43Perhaps because instead of investing in new homes
13:46which I could then paint and decorate,
13:49Devil Woman here is spending it all on a completely unnecessary war.
13:53Well, I have to tell you that I fully support the war.
13:56Do you know what it costs?
13:57I know precisely.
13:58The government has published the figures.
14:00Why would you spend over three billion pounds on a war against total strangers
14:07rather than looking after your own family?
14:09Because the invasion of the Falkland Islands was an illegal act by a foreign power.
14:15Because General Galtieri is a criminal and a fascist.
14:18And because the Falkland Islanders are British subjects living on British sovereign territory.
14:24But thank you for your observations, which I will note.
14:28No, you won't.
14:29Yes, I will.
14:30No, you won't.
14:38Noted, Mr. Fagan.
14:40Do you really need to have a picture of her in here?
14:43It's like being in Turkey or Iraq.
14:45She's my boss.
14:46I'm your boss.
14:47I'm a constituent.
14:48Did you vote for me?
14:49You must be joking.
14:51Forgive me if I don't think of you as my boss.
14:54Margaret Thatcher is the leader of the Conservative Party to which I belong.
14:57And so I think of her as my boss.
15:00You fancy her?
15:01What?
15:02I have dirty thoughts.
15:02I bet you do.
15:03I'm afraid that's all we have time for.
15:06I haven't finished.
15:08If you still wish to register your protest, I suggest you do so via the ballot box or peacefully in
15:14the street,
15:14as is your right in a civilised democracy.
15:17But if I want to talk to someone about her, who do I speak to?
15:20The leader of the opposition.
15:22He has the opportunity to put questions to her in the House of Commons twice a week.
15:26Failing that, the Queen.
15:28She has a private audience with the Prime Minister every Tuesday.
15:32Why don't you drop in at Buckingham Palace to ask her?
15:39Guard!
15:40By the left!
15:42Quick!
15:43March!
16:01Her Majesty the Queen here, taking the royal salute.
16:04The key moment in this, the Queen's annual birthday parade.
16:15As members of the household division troop their colour,
16:18those watching at home, as well as some lucky members of the public invited to attend,
16:22come together as one nation in celebration of this joyous event.
16:39Application for single payment to cover home improvements.
16:42Yep.
16:43Can you give me a little more information?
16:46OK, my wife has left me.
16:49All right.
16:50I went to see social services to mediate, because I want my kids to spend time with me.
16:55All right.
16:57But they've seen the flat and said it needs improving.
17:01There's water damage.
17:02I want to fix it.
17:04You're not the primary tenant.
17:07My wife's the primary tenant, but she's left.
17:09I just explained.
17:12You'd have to be the primary tenant at that address before we could even consider paying for the damages.
17:16Have you tried talking to the council?
17:19No.
17:20They told me to speak to you.
17:22Look, if this doesn't get sorted, I don't get to see my kids.
17:28You're going to have to take that out of the council.
17:30You're going to have to take that out of the council.
18:27You're going to have to take that out of the council.
18:47You're going to have to take that out of the council.
18:48You're going to have to take that out of the council.
18:49You're going to have to take that out of the council.
18:50You're going to have to take that out of the council.
18:50You're going to have to take that out of the council.
18:51You're going to have to take that out of the council.
18:51You're going to have to take that out of the council.
18:52You're going to have to take that out of the council.
18:53You're going to have to take that out of the council.
18:54You're going to have to take that out of the council.
19:06I don't know.
19:40I don't know.
20:16I don't know.
20:47I don't know.
21:13I don't know.
21:40I don't know.
22:07I don't know.
22:09I don't know.
22:17I don't know.
22:29I don't know.
22:43I don't know.
22:53I don't know.
23:15I don't know.
23:19I don't know.
23:20I don't know.
23:49I don't know.
24:18I don't know.
25:02I don't know.
25:19I don't know.
25:45I don't know.
25:57I don't know.
26:14I don't know.
26:39I don't know.
27:12I don't know.
27:39I don't know.
27:53I don't know.
28:39I don't know.
28:44I don't know.
28:44I don't know.
29:14I don't know.
30:06I don't know.
30:36I don't know.
30:51I don't know.
31:09I don't know.
31:18I don't know.
31:21I don't know.
31:26I don't know.
31:36I don't know.
31:48I don't know.
31:58I don't know.
32:12I don't know.
32:28I don't know.
32:58I don't know.
33:36I don't know.
34:09I don't know.
34:27I don't know.
34:44I don't know.
35:11I don't know.
35:51I don't know.
36:00I don't know.
36:39I don't know.
37:09I don't know.
37:12I don't know.
37:30I don't know.
38:02I don't know.
38:34I don't know.
39:12I know.
39:20I don't know.
40:12I don't know.
40:12I don't know.
40:52I don't know.
41:02I don't know.
41:32I don't know.
42:20I don't know.
42:51I don't know.
43:01I don't know.
43:46I don't know.
44:09I don't know.
44:31I don't know.
44:45I don't know.
44:52I don't know.
45:22I don't know.
45:48I don't know.
46:46I say,
46:47I don't know.
47:27I don't know.
47:36I don't know.
48:00I don't know.
48:41I don't know.
49:11I don't know.
49:19I don't know.
49:45I don't know.
50:15I don't know.
50:45I don't know.
50:46I don't know.
51:16I don't know.
51:54I don't know.
52:24I don't know.
52:46I don't know.
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