- 2 hours ago
Innocent young black man Ashtray (Shawn Wayans) is forced to move into a tough Los Angeles slum with his family, including his oddly streetwise, pot-smoking grandma (Helen Martin). Before long, Ashtray's nuclear-armed gangster cousin Loc Dog (Marlon Wayans) introduces him to a bizarrely comic crime underworld. Luckily, Ashtray falls for urban poet Dashiki (Tracey Cherelle Jones), and she convinces him to go straight -- but he must deal with her manic ex-boyfriend Toothpick (Darrel Heath).
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:11Yo, I'm finished to tell you how it is in the hood.
00:00:14See, cause in the hood, everybody's a target.
00:00:18Nah, I ain't like that.
00:00:19I'm gonna tell you the real deal with what it goes on in the hood.
00:00:22See, in the hood, most of us won't reach the age of 21.
00:00:25Happy birthday, homie.
00:00:28For me?
00:00:29Yeah.
00:00:30Happy birthday, homeboy.
00:00:33For me?
00:00:33Yeah.
00:00:34Make a wish.
00:00:40No, Lord, no, Lord, not my baby.
00:00:43I know you didn't do me wrong.
00:00:45Oh, Lord, no, he done said no.
00:00:47Oh, Lord, I'm doing you.
00:00:49I'm next to my thieves, Lord.
00:00:53Oh, no, no, baby.
00:00:55Yo, yo, yo.
00:00:57Oh, yeah.
00:00:58Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:00:59Baby, this ain't your baby.
00:01:04Ain't that a shame?
00:01:06Y'all ain't even tired of here.
00:01:10I'm gonna tell you what it's really like living in the hood.
00:01:13I moved back into my father's house after living with my mom's for most of my life.
00:01:19Trey, I don't want you hanging out in the streets.
00:01:21I want you to finish school, because without an education, the only kind of work you're gonna get is selling
00:01:28drugs, pimping women, or working security for Eddie Murphy.
00:01:33Now, I've done all I can.
00:01:36Now, I've done all I can.
00:01:36I got my education.
00:01:37I work two jobs to support you.
00:01:40But I can't teach you how to be a man.
00:01:43Only your father can do that.
00:01:47Now, give me a kiss and be a good boy.
00:01:49Trey.
00:01:51I love you, Trey.
00:01:52I love you, Trey.
00:01:53I love you, too, mother.
00:01:58So, will I see you again?
00:02:00Sorry, baby.
00:02:01You know there ain't no positive black females in these movies.
00:02:09Sorry.
00:02:14My father tried his best to give me advice.
00:02:17The problem was, he was only a couple years older than me.
00:02:21Fool, I told y'all I don't want no damn watch out.
00:02:24Hey, what's up, G?
00:02:26Pops, how you doing?
00:02:28How's it going?
00:02:29Oh, man.
00:02:30Look at you.
00:02:31It's going to be owned.
00:02:33Look at you, man.
00:02:34Look, you got big, man.
00:02:36Oh, you know what I'm saying.
00:02:36Last time I seen you was about this tall.
00:02:38What?
00:02:38They wouldn't even let you on the rides at the amusement park.
00:02:40They would take you to kiddie land.
00:02:41Remember that?
00:02:41Yeah, but it's all good, though.
00:02:43You know what I'm saying?
00:02:43Hey, I was just about to eat breakfast.
00:02:45You hungry?
00:02:45No, I'm full, man.
00:02:46I had some red hots.
00:02:47Oh, is that right?
00:02:48Cool.
00:02:48Hey, man, come on in, bro.
00:02:50Oh, please, allow me.
00:02:51So you a guest in my house, man.
00:02:52Shit, make yourself at home.
00:02:55Hey, are those your balls?
00:02:57Yeah.
00:02:57Yeah.
00:02:57I'm going to be sporting them, man.
00:02:59Hey, it's good to have you up in here, too.
00:03:01Hey, I'm going to finish getting my swirl on right here.
00:03:04Just have a seat, man.
00:03:05All right, cool.
00:03:06Hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:03:07Make sure your butt is on that plastic.
00:03:10Look, Trey.
00:03:11So we're not bumping heads?
00:03:12Man, if you're going to be standing, you're going to have to follow some rules.
00:03:15Which is no smoking my stuff.
00:03:17Don't let me catch you drinking my stuff.
00:03:19And if you bring any of them up in here, make sure I have them first.
00:03:25And, uh, you're going to have some chores.
00:03:28Chores?
00:03:29This ain't going to be no free ride.
00:03:31You're going to have to keep track of my matchbox cars.
00:03:33You're going to have to organize the damn Sega Genesis cartridges.
00:03:36I want you to do my homework since you want to be such a smart guy.
00:03:40After that, in the nighttime, I want you to cut the hair on my butt.
00:03:42Hey, hey, hey, hold up.
00:03:43Can I ask you a question, Pop?
00:03:44Yeah.
00:03:45What you going to be doing?
00:03:47Hey.
00:03:49Look, I ain't got to do nothing.
00:03:51My mama take care of me.
00:03:53Look, I know you think I'm being hard on you.
00:03:55But, hell, I guess I'm trying to teach you some responsibility.
00:03:59You're right, Pop.
00:04:01Hey, could you do me a favor?
00:04:03Could you line me up in the back?
00:04:04That's going to run you about $13.
00:04:07Let you cut me out.
00:04:10Hey, Trey, let me ask you a question, man.
00:04:12What's up?
00:04:12You still a virgin?
00:04:14Of course.
00:04:16Well, there was this one dude who rubbed up against my butt one time, but I ain't like it.
00:04:22Hey, man, I'm talking about girls, man.
00:04:25Oh, girls?
00:04:26Come on, Pops.
00:04:27Now, you know I be getting mine.
00:04:29About that little honeydick?
00:04:30Uh-uh.
00:04:30Little brown-skinned cutie down at the corner market, man.
00:04:33She had big breasts, big legs, eyes were pow!
00:04:38Ghetto booty.
00:04:39Oh, yeah.
00:04:39Oh, yeah.
00:04:40So, you know, I knew she liked me because we locked eyes.
00:04:43Mm-hmm.
00:04:43So I started to get into my Mac Daddy Denzel mode, you know?
00:04:47Yeah!
00:04:48I started fixing my eyebrows, make sure they were straight.
00:04:51Fixed my hair, make sure it was slick and greasy.
00:04:54Making sure my breath wasn't stinking.
00:04:57I went over her house one Sunday morning.
00:05:00Her moms had just gone to church.
00:05:06And we had the place all to ourself.
00:05:09So, you know, we got to kissing, licking, slobbing, you know, doing the wild thing.
00:05:15Ha-ha.
00:05:17Well, apparently, her moms must have forgot her purse or something.
00:05:20Cause she came back home.
00:05:22And I guess she could smell the sex in the air.
00:05:27And that's when things really got hungry.
00:05:29Ooh!
00:05:31Hold him down, baby!
00:05:33Let mama have him!
00:05:34So I grabbed my thing and got out of there the best way I could.
00:05:37Yeah.
00:05:38Hmph.
00:05:39I sure do hope you get her number.
00:05:41The girl?
00:05:42Hell no.
00:05:43Her mama, she the freak.
00:05:44Hey, hey, hey, pops, don't go up too high in the bag.
00:05:47Hey, don't worry about this.
00:05:47We all done.
00:05:49There we go.
00:05:51Yeah.
00:05:52Well, I got something for you to make the girls think you're smelling good.
00:05:57Ah!
00:05:58All hooked up, partner.
00:05:59Give me my $13.
00:06:05I'm gonna give it up!
00:06:07Red!
00:06:08Red!
00:06:09Red!
00:06:14All right, give it up!
00:06:15Jack move, fool!
00:06:17Just don't shoot!
00:06:21Hey, come back.
00:06:22Get my truck!
00:06:23Will you?
00:06:23Come here!
00:06:24Give me that truck back!
00:06:28Man, you got any spare change?
00:06:32Sorry, bro.
00:06:32I'm all out, man.
00:06:34Man, I got a spare change.
00:06:34Got these cheeseburgers, man!
00:06:37I don't want any cheeseburgers.
00:06:39Please, man!
00:06:41I'll show you a trick!
00:06:43Ew!
00:06:45Get out of here, man!
00:06:46Get out of here!
00:06:48It hurt me to wake up and see my beautiful black people suffer,
00:06:52victimized by the oppressive, harsh realities of the hood.
00:06:56I guess even though we were free, we were still slaves in the mine.
00:07:03Message!
00:07:05It's that lightheaded, up all night, this or nothing.
00:07:11Take your stupid shoe!
00:07:13Gotta have it kind of feeling.
00:07:20RuPaul's Drag Race is brought to you by Starbucks.
00:07:25It's a big match, and all of the best will win.
00:07:29Just let it...
00:07:30Guards in the bankroll, stole some silly-o's.
00:07:33No, I ain't got it all, that means I'm barely home.
00:07:40Next!
00:07:42I smell like death.
00:07:43Wanna know my secret for staying fresh in the afterlife?
00:07:45Please.
00:07:45I use secret whole body deodorant.
00:07:47Does it leave a residue?
00:07:47Actually, it goes on clear with no embarrassing white marks.
00:07:50You're a lifesaver!
00:07:51Well, no, it's too late for that.
00:07:55just wanted to see if you had superhuman hearing because of your
00:07:57because of my what
00:08:00he got a flamethrower
00:08:01flamethrower what is this mad max
00:08:04half our brothers are murdered
00:08:06i'm not leaving until someone dies
00:08:18luckily i wasn't alone here in the hood
00:08:20see my cousin lope dog lived right across the street
00:08:24lope dog was america's worst nightmare
00:08:26raised in a house with three generations of hopelessness
00:08:29poverty and profanity
00:08:34lope dog turn that loud ass music down you're waking up the babies
00:08:41who's that knocking on my porch
00:08:45hey miss dog hey astray
00:08:50you come to stay with your daddy for good
00:08:52yeah
00:08:55come on in
00:09:01you tell that big fine hunk of daddy i said hello
00:09:07oh yeah
00:09:11baby do me a favor past that boo over there
00:09:20hey
00:09:21careful little sue
00:09:23no thanks i'm cool
00:09:24oh is loktok here
00:09:25yeah that lazy ass back there in the back doing nothing as usual
00:09:29okay well i'll see you later
00:09:39ashtray come over here and give your grandma a hug
00:09:42my baby
00:09:44you been wearing them jimmy hats like grandma gave you
00:09:47yes ma'am how are you oh my old stinky self is fine except for my arthritis and my trigger
00:09:55finger
00:09:55but i can still stick and move i bet you can that beating the police give me didn't slow me
00:10:02down a bit
00:10:03hmm
00:10:04come on baby
00:10:06give me your best shot
00:10:08oh come on grandma i don't want to do nothing like that
00:10:11oh come on
00:10:12oh come on
00:10:13grandma i don't want to do that stop come on
00:10:22damn them fake teeth are hard
00:10:25bye bye
00:10:29you still hit like a boo
00:10:32loktok was gonna teach me to survive in the hood
00:10:35even if it killed me
00:10:49try that you
00:10:52hey you better start not yourself or you get smoked up in here fool
00:10:56damn
00:10:57you know that chronic make me paranoid baby
00:11:00come here you old fool dog mark ass chick
00:11:03give me some love
00:11:04what's up cuz
00:11:05ah what's up
00:11:06that's enough that love
00:11:07i don't play that sentimental stuff
00:11:09come on
00:11:10come here
00:11:12quick fashion question
00:11:14should i wear this tech 9
00:11:18with the high tops
00:11:22or should i wear this uzi
00:11:25with my low tops
00:11:31i'll just wear these then
00:11:38hey track scoot over
00:11:39rumor has it your old punk behind is in town for good
00:11:43yeah man mom's just beefing she said it's time for me to become a man
00:11:46oh brother my mom said the same thing
00:11:48sweating me
00:11:49yeah man
00:11:50i don't care though
00:11:52you know i told her
00:11:53i don't want to be on welfare my whole life
00:11:55you know what i'm saying
00:11:55and for real brother i got bigger and better plans
00:11:58you know what i'm saying
00:11:58figure i'll get me a job at the post office
00:12:00you know
00:12:01maybe at a bank
00:12:02you know what i'm saying
00:12:02that's all good man
00:12:03work real hard
00:12:04work my way up to manager
00:12:05we need more black people like this
00:12:07you know what i'm saying
00:12:08learn the system a little bit
00:12:09then i'll rob that mother's old pride
00:12:12break all y'all seal
00:12:17hey yo look man
00:12:18what happened to your pops anyway
00:12:20oh that old mark buck brother ran out on us like a little business
00:12:27you know it's
00:12:32you know it's kind of tough
00:12:37i'm going up in the hunt without a
00:12:40without a positive male role model to look up to
00:12:46message
00:12:48oh now come on
00:12:50let's go get preacher crazy legs and go to this picnic real quick
00:12:53come on
00:12:54come on
00:12:55you have your black buck back here by friday
00:12:58cause the social worker's coming over here
00:13:00and i'm still claiming your butt
00:13:02quit sweating me
00:13:03shoot
00:13:05hey grandma
00:13:06you better stay out of my endo before i smoke your butt
00:13:08ah go stop yourself
00:13:10our friend preach was a former gang member turned activist
00:13:14but now he's just plain confused
00:13:17alright preach whatever
00:13:18remind me to pick my laundry up from tie-dyes up the street
00:13:26crazy legs used to be the best dancer in the hood
00:13:30but now he's paralyzed from the waist down
00:13:32after a drive-by
00:13:33what's up crazy
00:13:35hey what's up y'all i'll be right there alright
00:13:38yeah
00:13:39yeah
00:13:40yeah that's the way to start the day how you doing
00:13:46hi what's up partner
00:13:47what's up loke here
00:13:48i'm a little pigmy brother
00:13:49all right african brother
00:13:50hey hold that
00:13:51i got you
00:13:52loke dog didn't have the flies riding the hood
00:13:54but it was reliable
00:13:56in rain
00:13:57sleet
00:13:57or snow
00:14:13hey you guys
00:14:15y'all wanna see a dead body
00:14:17yeah
00:14:17yeah
00:14:18come on
00:14:22i told you he was dead
00:14:28come on
00:14:36come on
00:14:37come on
00:14:37come on
00:14:38come on
00:14:38come on
00:14:39come on
00:14:39where you doing that girl
00:14:39what's up baby boy
00:14:40how you doing that
00:14:45damn
00:14:46how you doing that
00:14:49i ain't tight
00:14:50you can't get nothing up in here
00:14:51You're going straight diversity.
00:14:55Hey, y'all.
00:14:56Look at them freaks getting busy on the dance floor.
00:15:01This is all kinds of witches up in here.
00:15:04Hey, hey.
00:15:05What did I tell you about disrespecting my new man's presence?
00:15:08Oh, come on.
00:15:08Quit disrespecting.
00:15:09You need...
00:15:10Oh, my God.
00:15:12The mother of Mecca is right here before me.
00:15:17Do my eyes not deceive me, or am I looking at the goddess Isis yourself?
00:15:22Can you, uh...
00:15:24Can you do me a favor of my brown skin, ain't you?
00:15:28Can you tap that white girl for me?
00:15:33My milk of magnesia.
00:15:36Oh.
00:15:37Oh.
00:15:39After the devil made you, he broke the mold.
00:15:42Well, maybe you and I could, uh, make a little jungle feeding.
00:15:51Hey, this one of all my dead homies, you know what I'm saying?
00:16:06I remember the first time I saw Dashiki.
00:16:09She was fine enough to be Jet Beauty of the Week.
00:16:14Yo, yo, yo, low.
00:16:15Low, come in.
00:16:16Hey, what's up?
00:16:17What's up, bro?
00:16:18Yo, man.
00:16:19Who's this fine girl over here?
00:16:21Oh, brother, that's Dashiki.
00:16:24Stay away from that.
00:16:25Everybody in the hood's been up at her.
00:16:27Shoot.
00:16:27She got more kids than Ms. Waynes.
00:16:30Damn.
00:16:30Yeah.
00:16:33Anyway, that's Toothpick's sex girl.
00:16:35We're one of that boy's old scrap.
00:16:42Toothpick got used to being in jail.
00:16:44Damn.
00:16:44So much so, that even on the outside, he lived like he was still on the inside.
00:16:49Give me a knife boy.
00:16:51Give me a knife man.
00:16:52Give me a knife man.
00:16:53Give me a knife man.
00:16:53Give me a knife man.
00:16:53Give me a knife man.
00:16:54Give me a knife man.
00:16:55Give me a knife man.
00:16:56Huh?
00:16:57Phone check homie, phone check.
00:16:59Five dollars a head.
00:17:00Five dollars.
00:17:01I got the top.
00:17:02Look at the goat fish.
00:17:04What are they hitting for man?
00:17:06Five dollars Buster.
00:17:08Oh I got that, I can come to that.
00:17:10Oh yeah.
00:17:12Oh, here we go.
00:17:17What?
00:17:20Oh my money ain't good.
00:17:22Look, do you know how many crump cakes I can get for them?
00:17:25How many chocolate milks?
00:17:26How many bars of soap?
00:17:28Deal my card.
00:17:29Just hurry up and deal my card.
00:17:30Yeah, deal, deal.
00:17:31Alright, alright man.
00:17:33What up, Toothp?
00:17:38Hello.
00:17:40She wants me.
00:17:41How you keep wasting your time with that?
00:17:44I'm telling you, you need someone with some class.
00:17:46Someone you can take home to stepmama.
00:17:48You know what I'm trying to say?
00:17:49Get yourself a real woman.
00:17:57Real woman.
00:18:01Alright Trey, you see that over there?
00:18:03Can I see her?
00:18:04Now that's a lady.
00:18:08I bet y'all get her number.
00:18:10You ain't getting nobody's number.
00:18:12Fool, watch me.
00:18:19Hey, sweetheart.
00:18:20Give me your damn number.
00:18:21Hurry up.
00:18:23Cool, cool, cool.
00:18:24So, I'm gonna give you a call about five o'clock, alright?
00:18:28Yeah, yeah.
00:18:29Alright, sweetheart.
00:18:30Take care of yourself, alright?
00:18:33I told you I'd get your number.
00:18:34I'm trying to follow.
00:18:38Industry keeps pumping out all these fake stars.
00:18:40Industry plants?
00:18:41That's not a real thing.
00:18:42I heard they have a factory up in the hills.
00:18:44Let's find out.
00:18:52Over there?
00:18:54Nothing.
00:18:54How are we even out here?
00:18:55How are we even out here?
00:18:56No, no, no.
00:18:57Told you.
00:18:58What is that?
00:19:01Oh, wait.
00:19:01They're looking at us.
00:19:03We can leave now.
00:19:04Toyota.
00:19:05Let's go places.
00:19:07New day.
00:19:08Same routine.
00:19:09Same old bank.
00:19:11Not her.
00:19:13She switched the charm.
00:19:16Game changer.
00:19:16Which means she's getting cash back.
00:19:19Everyday purchases build her credit.
00:19:21And her savings?
00:19:23Working overtime.
00:19:25While banking fee-free.
00:19:26Fee-free!
00:19:27Fee-free, Pops.
00:19:28That's what I said.
00:19:29So don't bank the old way.
00:19:31Bank smarter.
00:19:32Through Chime.
00:19:42Maybe if you ate bunches of oats, she'd know you existed.
00:19:45Don't just eat oats.
00:19:46Eat bunches of oats.
00:19:51Back in the day, sneaker drops meant getting online to wait inline.
00:19:55Now, with Xfinity Mobile...
00:19:59We get the fastest mobile service and can get the freshest kicks ASAP.
00:20:03I got this.
00:20:04Get the best price for two lines of unlimited when you switch to Xfinity Mobile for $30 a line per
00:20:09month.
00:20:10Nice job, little sis.
00:20:13They grow up so fast.
00:20:14I'm a fan.
00:20:15From Xfinity, home of the Xfinity 10G network.
00:20:35There's nothing to do with Xfinity 10G network.
00:20:42I don't know what I am.
00:20:43I don't know what I am.
00:20:44I don't know what you are doing.
00:20:46I don't know what I mean.
00:20:48Oh, I don't know.
00:20:50What's up, little man?
00:20:52Oh, you're just trying to get something from my mom.
00:20:56Oh, snap.
00:20:57Nah, little man.
00:20:58Actually, what I'm trying to...
00:20:59Give me a dime, I'll leave you alone.
00:21:12Cute little kid.
00:21:14Oh, by the way, my name is Ashtray.
00:21:16My name is Dashiki.
00:21:18That's Swahili for doggy style.
00:21:21Ooh, that's pretty.
00:21:22Those are my kids.
00:21:25Hello, everybody.
00:21:27Now, children, what do you say when you meet a nice man?
00:21:31Are you my daddy?
00:21:36Ooh, all I know is I'd really like to take you out.
00:21:41Oh, you and your seven kids.
00:21:43That sounds nice, but I'm leaving the hood in a couple of days.
00:21:47Really?
00:21:49Man, I can't wait for the day I can move out of the hood.
00:21:51Well, look.
00:21:53I know I just met you, but you're welcome to come along.
00:21:56I mean, I need somebody to help me change all them diapers.
00:21:59Is that it? Diapers?
00:22:00I used to change my father's diapers all the time.
00:22:03Ain't no thing.
00:22:05Listen.
00:22:08You think about it, okay?
00:22:10And if you're serious, let me know.
00:22:21Hey, man, ain't that the Shiki over there kissing that fool, man?
00:22:31Yeah.
00:22:32Oh, damn, man.
00:22:35I should go shake that fool right now.
00:22:38No, Peck, you tripping, man.
00:22:40Damn.
00:22:41That's old news.
00:22:43Think about it.
00:22:44You've been in jail five years now.
00:22:46Man, it's only been 1,825 days.
00:22:506 hours and 13 minutes.
00:22:52She could've waited.
00:22:52Yeah, yeah, whatever.
00:22:53I'm just saying why go back to jail, you know?
00:22:55Oh, man, I ain't worried about jail, man.
00:22:57What the?
00:22:58You sound like a witch.
00:22:59Witch?
00:23:00Man, I ain't worried about jail.
00:23:02Man, I don't give a damn about going to jail.
00:23:04Really?
00:23:05Nigga, take me to jail.
00:23:06Take me to jail.
00:23:07Lock me up.
00:23:08Lock me up.
00:23:09Throw away the kids.
00:23:11Throw away the kids.
00:23:12I had sex with a man in jail.
00:23:13It wasn't that bad.
00:23:15This fool is tripping.
00:23:17I'm out of here.
00:23:18You're on your own there, bro.
00:23:20What?
00:23:22Y'all, y'all, come on, man.
00:23:24Y'all ain't never been in the shower with a man in a...
00:23:28Man, you see the soap roll down his smooth body and...
00:23:32Be, uh...
00:23:37I'm fooling y'all, man.
00:23:40I was fooling y'all.
00:23:42Those was jokes.
00:23:44Woo!
00:23:44Woo!
00:23:45Woo!
00:23:47Hey, man, I'm gon' make it.
00:23:59I don't usually be kissing like that when I first meet someone.
00:24:04But you special.
00:24:07Uh...
00:24:08Cigarette?
00:24:10Ashtray.
00:24:12Yeah, ashtray.
00:24:16Come on, kids.
00:24:19Hey, stupid.
00:24:20You realize you just kissed every brother in this party?
00:24:23Now, come on.
00:24:24I gotta go to the store and get some more floaties.
00:24:26Okay.
00:24:27Yeah.
00:24:28All right.
00:24:31Woo!
00:24:32Now, that there is something special.
00:24:35How come you talk all that noise about white men and then go date white women, fool?
00:24:39No.
00:24:40You see, I'm just trying to do the white girls what the white man's been doing to us for 400
00:24:45years.
00:24:46Yeah, what's that?
00:24:48To them.
00:24:49Let me go!
00:24:50Oh, you cold.
00:24:52He cold.
00:25:06Yeah, yeah.
00:25:07Hey.
00:25:08Boaties and nines.
00:25:10All right.
00:25:10That's my favorite stuff.
00:25:12All right.
00:25:12I'm gonna go in here and get me a malt liquor Slurpee.
00:25:14Run across the street and get me some barbecue potato chips.
00:25:17Ooh.
00:25:18Can I keep the change?
00:25:19Hell no, fool.
00:25:19That's a $10 food stamp.
00:25:21Better bring me back my change.
00:25:29What's up, man?
00:25:31You pretty punk chick.
00:25:33Yeah.
00:25:35Hey, what's up?
00:25:36We got a problem too, bitch?
00:25:38I said, do we have a problem?
00:25:41Uh-oh.
00:25:42We got a problem, buddy.
00:25:44Right here.
00:25:44Here's your problem.
00:25:45Right there.
00:25:46Right there.
00:25:48All right.
00:25:48All right.
00:25:49Play a little game.
00:25:50Right here.
00:25:53I said, do we have a problem?
00:25:59Huh?
00:26:00Oh, U-S-U-S-R.
00:26:02Come on.
00:26:03Now you better get your simple behind up out of here,
00:26:05before I cause a nuclear holocaust up in here, fool.
00:26:07Let's go.
00:26:08Let's go.
00:26:08Boom.
00:26:09Come on.
00:26:09Boom.
00:26:09It'll be Hiroshima and...
00:26:13That's right, boy.
00:26:14You better get on out of here.
00:26:15And don't come back.
00:26:18Huh?
00:26:18Jay, bring your simple behind on.
00:26:39Hello?
00:26:39Hey, yo, man.
00:26:40You paged me?
00:26:41Yeah, yeah.
00:26:41You ready to be out?
00:26:42Yeah, let's move.
00:26:43All right, bet.
00:26:52You go.
00:26:54It's very easy.
00:26:57frustrated, man.
00:26:57Second day.
00:26:57Hold your might.
00:27:00Good fire.
00:27:02Good fire!
00:27:03Let's learn how to teach you.
00:27:40Hey, hey, hey, hey!
00:27:45You dropped something.
00:27:49Yeah, break yourself, fool!
00:27:52Yeah, to recognize.
00:27:54Give my money back.
00:27:57I'm worried.
00:27:58Candy bars.
00:28:00Hey, hey, I'm talking to you.
00:28:03How much for this candy bar?
00:28:05Five dollars.
00:28:06Hey, look here.
00:28:09Just charge us for the chips and the ice cream, alright?
00:28:11Shoot.
00:28:14Hey, let's raise up out of here
00:28:15before I look up on these people.
00:28:17Hey, quit looking that damn ice cream like that
00:28:19before I put you on the corner to make me some money.
00:28:20I feel sorry for your mother.
00:28:25What you say about my mama?
00:28:29I don't want to have trouble.
00:28:30Just go.
00:28:31Go home. Don't come back.
00:28:33What you say about my mama?
00:28:35Break yourself!
00:28:36No!
00:28:38Oh!
00:28:42What are you doing?
00:28:43What?
00:28:459, 10, 9, and 5!
00:28:47On sound, come on!
00:28:51Oh!
00:28:52Oh!
00:28:54Yo, look, are you crazy?
00:28:56What the hell did you do?
00:28:57I fool wasn't me.
00:28:58I hurt nobody.
00:29:01Catch.
00:29:05The man!
00:29:14Have a nice day.
00:29:16Oh, yeah.
00:29:20He's good.
00:29:22Mm-hmm.
00:29:22Come on, Craig.
00:29:23Let's get out of here.
00:29:44Hey, man.
00:29:44Check out that 6-4.
00:29:45Yes, this is the- this ball coming at your door.
00:29:48You're stuck to scream out loud.
00:29:49You take back for more.
00:29:51Yes, the hours for.
00:29:52I told you before.
00:29:53We'll be in the mic fight and bust the tone bar.
00:29:55What's up, neighbor?
00:29:57Aw, damn.
00:29:58What up, Grandma?
00:30:00Now your dad is a pain thing.
00:30:03All right, then.
00:30:04All right, player.
00:30:05Stay up.
00:30:06Hey.
00:30:06Hey.
00:30:07Yes, this is the ball coming at your door.
00:30:09You're stuck to scream out loud.
00:30:10You change back for more.
00:30:11Yes, the hours for.
00:30:13I told you before.
00:30:14Hey.
00:30:15Hey.
00:30:15Hey.
00:30:18Hey.
00:30:19Hey.
00:30:20Hey.
00:30:22Hey.
00:30:22Hey.
00:30:22Hey.
00:30:23Hey.
00:30:30Hey.
00:30:34Hey.
00:30:44Hey.
00:30:46Hey.
00:30:49Hey.
00:30:51Hey.
00:30:56Hey.
00:30:57Hey.
00:30:58Hey.
00:31:00Hey.
00:31:00touchdown great brands great prices up to 70 percent off nordstrom racks got them plus
00:31:08naughty club members get more more perks more value discounts just for you and five percent
00:31:15off with your nordstrom credit card buy online pick up and store the same day for free
00:31:25hey the fam's all here
00:31:30are we ready for some big fun
00:31:39join the dark side not today carl oren
00:31:55justin jefferson it's been 30 get 10.
00:32:00do your thing though boy totino's pizza rolls tastes like a touchdown i sold the old el paso
00:32:07spend 30 on general best products get a 10 reward i realize that that that every now and again
00:32:13some of you women folk you get hot and you get bothered and every now and again you get hot
00:32:20and
00:32:21bothered well what i want you to do when you get that hot and you need a little relief
00:32:28i want you to i want you to call me don't ask no question today gloria like good to see
00:32:37who was
00:32:38real god to sacrifice him his only son come on didn't do it abraham didn't ask no question thank you
00:32:47baby
00:32:47that's that's what god expects from his sheep here at the greater ebenezer new revival tree of life
00:32:55institutional double rock on the side of the road to jericho missionary baptist church
00:33:00i want you to do
00:33:13like those of you who realize that that the lord wants you to give generously into his choice
00:33:22amen don't ask no questions don't ask how come oh oh why come the pastor have to have him a
00:33:30nice house
00:33:31why come for a pastor got to have a nice car don't ask i said don't ask i say don't
00:33:39ask
00:33:40no questions just give the money
00:33:45get the collection play around on that side get get around on that side
00:33:51we're gonna now have a a b selection from the choir
00:34:05ain't that the truth
00:34:20so
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00:37:37i
00:37:37left here.
00:37:48Park right there.
00:37:53Wait here.
00:38:15It was nice meeting you.
00:38:17Thank you very much.
00:38:17We'll be in touch.
00:38:18Okay.
00:38:22My God.
00:38:27Hey.
00:38:29Uh, yes?
00:38:30May I help you?
00:38:31Yeah, I heard y'all this time.
00:38:33What's up?
00:38:34Oh, yes.
00:38:35Um, here.
00:38:36Why don't you fill out this application?
00:38:39Make me write.
00:38:43If I write, let me make me write.
00:38:46Well, actually, originally I'm from the East Coast.
00:38:50But after my master's, I thought I'd take a break.
00:38:53So, here I am.
00:38:55I was tired of living off a daddy.
00:39:01Age.
00:39:03Maintain.
00:39:04Hey.
00:39:06Six deuce, baby.
00:39:09Father's name.
00:39:11I don't know.
00:39:14Six.
00:39:16Hell yeah.
00:39:17Nah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:39:20Salary desire.
00:39:23Three million dollars.
00:39:27Catch.
00:39:27You know, being an Ivy Leaguer can be such a leg up.
00:39:31You know, I spent five years at Harvard.
00:39:33Oh, really?
00:39:34I just spent six months at Cali.
00:39:37Anybody ever try to take your man home?
00:39:39Uh.
00:39:40Hmm?
00:39:40No.
00:39:41Then he sees the warning coming.
00:39:42So, he's hot.
00:39:43Um.
00:39:43He cries.
00:39:44You hate when that happens.
00:39:45Let's get out of here.
00:39:46He's crying.
00:39:47Hey, where y'all going?
00:39:47Locked dog.
00:39:48Uh.
00:39:49Uh.
00:39:49Uh.
00:39:49Mr. Loke dog.
00:39:50That's me.
00:39:51You're next.
00:39:52Uh.
00:39:53Mr. Locked dog?
00:39:54I'm so bad.
00:39:55Yeah, right.
00:39:56You're right?
00:39:57Yeah, no.
00:39:57Oh, my God.
00:39:58Yeah.
00:39:59Energy.
00:40:00Eager man.
00:40:01Yes, I like that.
00:40:02Uh.
00:40:03Right this way.
00:40:04Locked dog.
00:40:13Uh.
00:40:15Let me just move this.
00:40:17Huh.
00:40:19So, uh, let me see.
00:40:21Hmm.
00:40:22Very interesting.
00:40:23Um.
00:40:23I see your hobbies are drinking, smoking, and all types of ill stuff.
00:40:29Yeah.
00:40:30Uh.
00:40:31Do you drive an automobile?
00:40:33Hmm.
00:40:33With or without the boot?
00:40:35Doesn't matter.
00:40:37Well, congratulations.
00:40:39You got yourself a job.
00:40:43Right on, huh?
00:40:48Hey, where the seatbelts at?
00:40:50Don't worry.
00:40:51They won't be necessary.
00:40:55Hey, man.
00:40:56How you work this radio?
00:41:06One more time.
00:41:10Hmm, boy.
00:41:11Hmm.
00:41:11Yeah, you good.
00:41:12Yeah, I told you you ain't got no game for me, boy.
00:41:15Now I'm gonna wear you out, you little punk.
00:41:18What's that?
00:41:19My gap, fool.
00:41:22Where you learn how to use a gun, anyway?
00:41:25Cartoons in her movies.
00:41:30Durag, don't you know that you and I are an endangered species?
00:41:34Why?
00:41:34Because we're black males?
00:41:36No!
00:41:37Because all the rappers are taking all the good acting jobs.
00:41:41Listen, Durag, having a gun doesn't give you any power.
00:41:45You want to know what a real power is?
00:41:47In the bullets!
00:41:48No!
00:41:49In the books!
00:41:53See?
00:41:55Durag, your mind, it is like a gun.
00:42:00And you want to load it up with little, itty-bitty bullets of knowledge.
00:42:13Message!
00:42:17Y'all ready?
00:42:19Ready?
00:42:20Tongs keep popping, tops keep dropping down.
00:42:25Drops, drops.
00:42:27Drops, drops.
00:42:31Wow.
00:42:32That's good.
00:42:33Almond Breeze?
00:42:34You like the Almond Breeze I got you?
00:42:36That's so interesting.
00:42:38What's happening, Dad?
00:42:39With delicious taste and 50% more calcium.
00:42:42Blue Diamond Almond Breeze.
00:42:44Don't just milk it, Almond milk it.
00:42:46Protection for five types of sweat?
00:42:47Let's see.
00:42:48Heat.
00:42:50Rush.
00:42:51Motion.
00:42:52Pressure.
00:42:53and thrill no sweat new degree clinical 5x the strongest degree ever annie switched to new
00:43:00dentist formulated therabreth toothpaste because it's long lasting for epic freshness wait fight
00:43:05bad breath for 12 hours and she powers up her routine with therabreth mouthwash i love this
00:43:10for us therabreth epic freshness guaranteed at another store maggie would have spent 200
00:43:17on this party dress and lip gloss but at jc penny she found them for 100 so she also got
00:43:23some trendy loungewear because obviously she's not going to a party that starts at 9 p.m
00:43:35this isn't for you little guy okay okay but what if i did a little dance
00:43:41nature valley we make nature delicious
00:43:49hey love
00:43:53you said you need to
00:43:55to be there for you
00:43:58to love you all night long
00:44:02it's kind of funny buddy
00:44:05i don't think you have to look any further
00:44:09because i'm ready
00:44:10dashiki was far more sexually experienced than i was
00:44:13she taught me all about foreplay
00:44:16until then i ain't never done foreplay before
00:44:19but then again
00:44:21who needs foreplay when you're by yourself
00:44:23treat you like you're nothing when you're worth more than gold
00:44:31girl to me you're like a diamond i love the way you shine
00:44:41outside in the rain we can do it all night
00:44:48no i'm a fool that's the baby's lunch
00:44:51baby i wanna do all i'm a major man won't do
00:45:00every little thing i'm gonna do
00:45:04baby i wanna do all i'm a major man won't do
00:45:13every little thing i'm gonna do
00:45:20i'll take you out on a night cruise
00:45:23on a yacht
00:45:24just can't lose
00:45:27got a lot to look forward to
00:45:30there's a diamond
00:45:33nobody
00:45:53what's up baby
00:45:58what's up baby
00:46:00i need to tell you something
00:46:03what's up
00:46:06i'm pregnant
00:46:07already
00:46:08are you sure
00:46:10i got seven kids i think i know what i'm talking about
00:46:14dashiki
00:46:16i'm not ready to be no father right now
00:46:18you ain't nothing but a little boy
00:46:20it ain't all about the size of the boat
00:46:23it's the motion in the ocean
00:46:25that's not what i'm talking about
00:46:27as a matter of fact
00:46:29get out
00:46:30get out of my bed
00:46:32get out of my house
00:46:33get out
00:46:33what's up
00:46:34and take your stuff with you
00:46:36are you tripping
00:46:36i don't wanna see you no more
00:46:38i don't wanna talk to you
00:46:40oh please
00:46:41take your stuff
00:46:43oh girl come on now
00:46:44this
00:46:44hey this ain't mine
00:46:45get out of my house
00:46:48oh
00:46:48get out
00:46:52oh
00:47:02what up
00:47:06yo look man
00:47:07dashiki's pregnant
00:47:11oh dashiki was born pregnant
00:47:13what else is new
00:47:15what else is new
00:47:17it's mine
00:47:20whoo
00:47:21aw man
00:47:21are you sure
00:47:23she said i was the only one she been with in the past 20 minutes
00:47:27damn
00:47:28yes
00:47:29yes
00:47:30and you believed her huh
00:47:35here you go sucker i mean brother
00:47:39that'd be 1038
00:47:40wash them filthy hands
00:47:46so what you gonna do now
00:47:47trey
00:47:49i don't know
00:47:50i'm thinking about moving out of the hood with a
00:47:52what
00:47:55aww fool
00:47:56look here
00:47:57let me tell you something trey
00:48:00you can take the shit out of the hood
00:48:03but you can't take the hood brothers off the shit
00:48:05huh
00:48:06huh
00:48:11oh
00:48:12oh
00:48:12oh damn
00:48:13follow
00:48:15you there
00:48:17get out of the truck and put your hands in the air
00:48:21stand on one leg
00:48:25with the tip of your finger touch the tip of your nose
00:48:28now in a circular motion rub your stomach and pat your head while saying rubber baby buggy bumpers
00:48:36rubber baby buggy bumper
00:48:37strike a pose
00:48:39strike a pose
00:48:40now vote
00:48:48now walk slowly toward the car
00:49:11we didn't even do nothing
00:49:13well you think you're tough
00:49:20you look so tough now
00:49:25i hate you black bangers
00:49:27you stand
00:49:30i hate your black skin
00:49:32i hate your black pants
00:49:35i hate black pepper
00:49:38i hate black keys on the piano
00:49:41i hate my gums cause they black
00:49:45i hate whoopee goldberg's lips
00:49:48i hate the back of ford's willica's neck
00:49:52most of all
00:49:54i hate that black cat west this night
00:50:05we got arrested for being black on a friday night
00:50:12it was a misdemeanor
00:50:13so i thought we'd be out right away
00:50:38all right get in there
00:50:48what's up young blood
00:50:49what's up
00:50:52swine my brother
00:50:54nah one thing
00:50:56now let me tell you something
00:50:58if you hit a man
00:51:00in time
00:51:02his wounds will heal
00:51:04and if you steal from a man
00:51:07you can replace
00:51:09what you steal
00:51:10and always cross
00:51:11in the green
00:51:14never in between
00:51:15because the honorable elijah
00:51:17mohammed ali
00:51:20floats like a butterfly
00:51:22and stings like a bee
00:51:23just thinking about spending another minute
00:51:25with farah convict
00:51:26made me never want to do time in the joint again
00:51:29boy am i happy to see you man
00:51:31and always remember my brother
00:51:34one fish two fish
00:51:35red fish blue fish
00:51:37nick-knack
00:51:38potty wet
00:51:39get a dog a bone
00:51:41two thousand zero zero party
00:51:43out of time
00:51:45my bacon smelly fine
00:52:14you just can't be the post-game burka at mcdonalds
00:52:17and you can't beat the angel reese special
00:52:19all right let's break it down
00:52:20it's a quarter pounder with my favorite barbecue sauce
00:52:22american cheese
00:52:23crispy bacon
00:52:23pickles and onions
00:52:25on a sesame seed bun
00:52:26get the angel reese special at mcdonalds
00:52:28what are you waiting for
00:52:29hey hey hey
00:52:33what you got to say
00:52:38say hey hey hey
00:52:42new balance
00:52:44new balance we got now
00:52:45it's dinner
00:52:49with two times the meat
00:52:50and three kinds of cheese
00:52:52you can't be anything but
00:52:53happy full
00:52:55stouffers
00:52:58to buy or not to buy
00:53:00that is their question
00:53:02and nobody knows shoppers better than shopify
00:53:06the undisputed undefeated checkout champion of the world
00:53:10this living legend can boost conversions up to 50 percent
00:53:16which means way less of these
00:53:19and way more of that
00:53:22so if your business is in it to win it
00:53:24win with shopify
00:53:28what's up two pet
00:53:29what's up
00:53:30i'm ready to go jump this fool in
00:53:33let's do this our dog
00:53:37what's up there little homie
00:53:38am i ready to do this
00:53:40yeah man i'm ready
00:53:41what's up
00:53:42what's up
00:53:43you've been hanging with the homies in the hood for a while now
00:53:46it's about time we jump your punk man in
00:53:48that's right
00:53:49let me tell you something
00:53:50in this world
00:53:51if you can't swim
00:53:52you found the drizzan
00:53:54yeah
00:53:55and if you fall
00:53:57you better pick your punk self up
00:53:59that's right
00:54:02and the rest of y'all
00:54:05don't cut him no slack
00:54:08y'all fools get busy
00:54:12let's go
00:54:12it's working dog working
00:54:41hey we're gonna have to play
00:54:48and the money that you do win i'll jack you for it
00:54:51tie a shoe
00:54:51hey
00:54:52which one of y'all's ass track
00:54:56what's up partner
00:54:57heard you got my boy toothpick girlfriend pregnant
00:54:59partner
00:55:01me
00:55:01yeah you
00:55:03um
00:55:05hey brother man
00:55:06what's up
00:55:08i don't want some trouble man
00:55:09you know i'm just taking crazy
00:55:11but you must not have heard me
00:55:12partner
00:55:12i try trying to
00:55:13let me handle this like a gentleman
00:55:14alright
00:55:15i'm a man
00:55:16you know
00:55:17my man say you want to trouble
00:55:18you know what i'm saying
00:55:32oh yeah nice execution
00:55:45After stomping one of toothpicks boys, we knew we had to go get some backup, so we went
00:55:51over to our homie Old School's house.
00:55:53Are you sure this guy's gonna have our back?
00:55:55Hey, Trey, let me tell you something about Old School, all right?
00:55:58He's the most dangerous OG on set.
00:56:00Let me tell you young punk something, I've been down on this hood a long time.
00:56:05I've seen a lot of things, I survived the Watts riots, gang wars, and you know how
00:56:11I did it?
00:56:12How?
00:56:14I stand on my ground and have my homies watch my back.
00:56:17Word.
00:56:18So don't let nobody mess with your shit, and like me, don't let nobody give you no job.
00:56:25Yeah, Old School!
00:56:27Old Thominu!
00:56:29Boy, I found him you!
00:56:33Come here, boy.
00:56:35Oh, shoot.
00:56:36What did you say, boy?
00:56:38I said, oh shoot, Ma, shoot.
00:56:41Didn't I tell you to clean your room?
00:56:44Oh, Ma, come on.
00:56:45The gang needs me, I'm the leader.
00:56:49Gang?
00:56:52You better get in there and clean that room in the next ten minutes, or else you're gonna
00:56:57be walking down the street with three shoes, two on your feet and one in your butt, sucker.
00:57:04Ha!
00:57:06Thank you, Mama.
00:57:11Yeah, so you gonna roll with us?
00:57:15I can't.
00:57:16Why not?
00:57:17Oh.
00:57:18The police is after you, huh?
00:57:20Nah.
00:57:21I'm on punishment.
00:57:23My mom says I can't leave the porch.
00:57:24Oh, man.
00:57:26Come on, let's hold the porch down.
00:57:30Say, that's a nice walker, lady.
00:57:32Pop it up.
00:57:33Turn around!
00:57:34Snap!
00:57:34Get up!
00:57:42Man, I need to get out of this place.
00:57:44Fool, what you talking about?
00:57:46Lead the hood?
00:57:47Fool, this is home sweet home.
00:57:51I love the smell of gun smoke in the morning.
00:57:56Yo, preach.
00:57:57At least the ashtray got a dream.
00:57:59That's more than I can say for half the homies in the hood.
00:58:02Why, little foots?
00:58:03You got a dream?
00:58:04Yeah.
00:58:05I got a dream.
00:58:10Can't test this.
00:58:12Yeah!
00:58:14Can't test this.
00:58:17Yeah.
00:58:18Can't test this.
00:58:20Can't test this.
00:58:21Break it down.
00:58:35Stop.
00:58:36Hammer time.
00:58:49Hey, Lo.
00:58:50I hope you ain't selling out on me
00:58:52with no jive-ass dream.
00:58:54Oh, hell no.
00:58:55You know I ain't got no self-esteem.
00:58:57I ain't gonna grow up to be nothing just like you.
00:59:05Where them buses hiding at?
00:59:07They're probably over there.
00:59:08My trick.
00:59:10I'm sinking, fool.
00:59:12I miss making nothing to hurt.
00:59:15Me too.
00:59:17What are you talking about?
00:59:18I was helping you out.
00:59:20Tell me you was helping me.
00:59:21You was locked down, fool.
00:59:35Man, can you look no direction to Grinchaw, man?
00:59:39Boy, you better get your Krusty behind away from me.
00:59:41Man, I'll show you a trick, man.
00:59:44What you say to me?
00:59:45I'll show you a trick, man.
00:59:52Oh, man.
00:59:54All right, so what you want to do, my man,
00:59:55go to the corner,
00:59:57go about three blocks down,
00:59:58and make a right,
00:59:59and you'll be right there on the corner.
01:00:00Check it out.
01:00:01All right, check it out.
01:00:02Who?
01:00:03You?
01:00:04Hop, hop, hop.
01:00:05Here we go, homie, here we go.
01:00:06Hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop, hop.
01:00:11Ah!
01:00:16What should we do?
01:00:17We'll lick them!
01:00:19Mama!
01:00:20Mama!
01:00:21Oh, my God!
01:00:39Let's go!
01:00:40Let's go!
01:00:47Let's go!
01:00:49Let's go!
01:00:51You okay, man?
01:00:52You got hit by the bullets, man?
01:00:54No.
01:00:55I got hit by the car.
01:00:56Come on, here I am.
01:00:57Come on.
01:00:58Hey, try it.
01:00:58Let's give him a try.
01:01:00Hey, then get it, baby.
01:01:01Shoot.
01:01:02Hey, bro, I know you crippled, but help my brother out.
01:01:04Come on.
01:01:08Bring your simple mind on!
01:01:11Guess who they gave a show on BET?
01:01:15You already know what happens when I sit down.
01:01:17Culture's boldest voice just got louder.
01:01:19I'm still asking all the questions that nobody else will.
01:01:23The Jason Lee Show.
01:01:24Full episodes now on BET Digital.
01:01:26Old Spice turned our voice to man.
01:01:29Although we've come to the end of the road.
01:01:35Unless it's still I can't let go.
01:01:50Some like them on an ice cream sandwich.
01:01:52Eat them how you like them.
01:01:54Pop-Tarts.
01:01:55Crazy!
01:01:56When everything on the IHOP value menu is just six bucks, you can go all out.
01:02:01Cause eggs, bacon, and fluffy pancakes are just six bucks every day.
01:02:05And OMG, there's a new BLT.
01:02:07And it comes with fries.
01:02:08Celebrate every day for just six bucks with the IHOP value menu.
01:02:11I was helpless from his case.
01:02:15It's irresistible.
01:02:16Cheese it.
01:02:17Body.
01:02:18What?
01:02:19And then he said, devour me.
01:02:22I need a cheese it, daddy.
01:02:24Gravings can happen anywhere.
01:02:25Want it?
01:02:26Need it?
01:02:26Cheese it.
01:02:27My head!
01:02:29My head!
01:02:29J-Nub, you alright?
01:02:31Answer me, man.
01:02:31You alright?
01:02:32J-Nub!
01:02:37We need a doctor fast!
01:02:39Do you know I went to see Jason Lyric this weekend?
01:02:41Yeah, G-Money, wasn't he cute?
01:02:43Did you see his butt though?
01:02:44It was hairy!
01:02:45We need a doctor right now!
01:02:47Yeah, I'm gonna have to call you back, okay?
01:02:49Right now, sister!
01:02:53What I'm gonna need you to do is fill his form out.
01:02:56Do it!
01:03:01May I have a pen, please?
01:03:04Excuse me.
01:03:05You know I can get some water around here?
01:03:07Oh, God.
01:03:09Here.
01:03:14Thanks.
01:03:15You're number 1,012.
01:03:171,012.
01:03:181,012.
01:03:19Number 1,012.
01:03:19Number 2, 13.
01:03:21Now serving number 2, 13.
01:03:24Damn!
01:03:25Damn, I hope I'm next.
01:03:27Dr. Schultz, we're gonna do it.
01:03:32Between Crazy Legs being hit in the drive-by, the Korean store shootings, jail, and Dalshiki being pregnant,
01:03:39Dalshiki!
01:03:39I felt like I was about to explore.
01:03:53Open the door!
01:04:19What are you doing?
01:04:23Trying to win Best Actor on the Soul Train Awards.
01:04:34Look, Dalshiki, I'm sorry about last night.
01:04:41I thought about it, and I want to be a father to my child, and another thing.
01:04:51I also realized how much I love you, and I want to leave the hood with you.
01:05:01But there's something we need to do before we go.
01:05:09Look, I'm taking the kids, and I'm moving out of the hood.
01:05:14I just want them to come say goodbye to their daddies.
01:05:19Give me to me.
01:05:33You're a good brother, Trent.
01:05:35Yeah.
01:05:37Me?
01:05:39I mean, I've been in jail a long time, T.
01:05:43Sometimes I feel like a cage animal.
01:05:50How come you never came to see me, man?
01:05:55I don't know you.
01:05:58Oh, yeah.
01:06:01You don't know me.
01:06:02That's right.
01:06:03That's right.
01:06:04Well, dig this here, Trent.
01:06:06Teach my son how to be a man, Trent.
01:06:09How to be a man.
01:06:13Give me something.
01:06:31That's right.
01:06:33That's right.
01:06:33Flush.
01:06:35All right, you getting there a prison at all?
01:06:41So I'm going to get something around.
01:06:42I ain't no one play me like that.
01:06:45Hey, come on, man.
01:06:48I'm coming through with the bum rush.
01:06:50Feelings for style and deed is co-crush.
01:06:53What? My style's ridiculous.
01:06:55Who's getting with that?
01:06:57Spectaculous, miraculous.
01:06:59What's the Lexus? I'm from New York.
01:07:01I'm throwing like Don Pease and one's popped the core.
01:07:04Not feeling me for real, though.
01:07:05I'm the one who came from the back and blew the brains out of the opportunity.
01:07:10Welcome to this tradition of lyricism.
01:07:13I'm on a Dougie Fresh mission.
01:07:14Somebody stop me. I'm out of control, please.
01:07:17Before I do autopsy's on these MC's.
01:07:20Open them up. They hollow on the inside.
01:07:22No heart bumping. Their organ misses something.
01:07:25True this year, they get no props.
01:07:27Without that, I come with the real hip-hop.
01:07:42All right, what's up, crazy?
01:07:45Hey, brother.
01:07:47How you feeling, man?
01:07:50How you doing, brother?
01:07:53Doctor said I ain't ever gonna walk again.
01:07:55No, no.
01:07:58Come on, me. I hate it.
01:07:59Ovi?
01:08:05No.
01:08:05Fool, get off of me.
01:08:07You've been paralyzed for the last five years.
01:08:11Oh, yeah.
01:08:13Don't worry, legs, man.
01:08:16You're gonna find that two-pit,
01:08:18and I'm gonna smoke them.
01:08:19No.
01:08:20We need to put an end to all this black-on-black crime.
01:08:23We need to call a truce.
01:08:25What about that time you shot Byron?
01:08:27Ain't that black-on-black crime?
01:08:29Yeah.
01:08:29No.
01:08:31Byron was light-skinned.
01:08:33Oh, yeah.
01:08:34Hey, you about to go to this party?
01:08:36Yeah.
01:08:37Now, you gonna be doing some drinking?
01:08:39It's a little something.
01:08:41Let me tell you about drinking and driving, man.
01:08:44Boy, this stuff is fun, man.
01:08:46Yo, what you do is get yourself a 40, right?
01:08:48Then you get on the freeway, bam, punch it to 85.
01:08:51Then you turn off your lights, let go of the stairwell.
01:08:53Boom!
01:08:54It will bug you out, boy.
01:08:55You gotta try it, man.
01:08:56I'm gonna try that.
01:08:57I'm gonna try it.
01:08:58Hey, hey, hey.
01:08:59Why y'all didn't invite me to the party?
01:09:01Come on, Pop.
01:09:01You know you gotta be 18 and older.
01:09:03Oh, man.
01:09:04Besides, it's getting past your bedtime.
01:09:06You brush your teeth?
01:09:07Yeah.
01:09:08Let me see.
01:09:09No.
01:09:10There we go.
01:09:11All right, I'm out.
01:09:15Is someone trying to steal your Butterfinger this Halloween?
01:09:20Call the BFI.
01:09:25No one lays a finger on your Butterfinger.
01:09:28What's up, y'all?
01:09:29It's Fly J, a.k.a.
01:09:31Big Foe, and I am a rapper and an athlete.
01:09:33No, I'm an artist.
01:09:34I'm an artist and an athlete.
01:09:35No, I'm an artist and a basketball player.
01:09:37I am the BET, Amplified Artist of the Month, sponsored by Nissan.
01:09:42Yeah, see the great.
01:09:43Ever since I could walk, I've loved basketball.
01:09:45When you're bouncing the ball, when you're shooting the ball, it's all type of rhythm that goes into it.
01:09:48They did it for my daddy.
01:09:49They see it in my face, man.
01:09:50I'm in the paper.
01:09:51What inspired me to start rapping was my father.
01:09:53He was a good rapper.
01:09:54Like, he had a record deal and everything.
01:09:55Once I found that out, I was like, mom, I want to be a rap star, too.
01:09:58I'm just speaking what I feel into the mic, and it's resonating with so many other people.
01:10:03I'm the hottest rapper in it.
01:10:05I leave the game inside of her.
01:10:06Hearing the music in the car is just different.
01:10:08You can feel the music all around you.
01:10:11Riding Nissan, blocking like D-line.
01:10:13I'm going up and I can all the beehives.
01:10:14Me, my mama, and my stepdad, we used to drive.
01:10:17One little Nissan Altamont.
01:10:18I was being authentic with it, and now we here.
01:10:21If you master doing the same thing over and over again, you can achieve anything you want to.
01:10:27Graphics are just really impressive.
01:10:29Pretty cool, huh?
01:10:31I play because all my friends play.
01:10:33And we're always comparing weekly contest scores.
01:10:35And he moved to first place.
01:10:37I love beating levels and upgrading King Robert's castle.
01:10:41Look how cute that castle is.
01:10:44You should download it.
01:10:45It's fun.
01:10:46Royal Match.
01:10:47Download now.
01:10:54Domino!
01:10:55Yeah!
01:10:57Hey, what's up?
01:10:58What's up, what's up, brothers?
01:10:59Hey, what you making?
01:11:01Some Jimmy Bob's?
01:11:02Hey, what's up, baby?
01:11:04How you doing?
01:11:04All right.
01:11:05What's up, Black on Black?
01:11:07How you feeling?
01:11:08What's up, man?
01:11:08How you feeling, baby?
01:11:09Hey, man.
01:11:10I'm going to push it.
01:11:11Who got that crunch?
01:11:13Come on, man.
01:11:13Who got that crunch?
01:11:14Ill-killing stuff?
01:11:16Guaranteed to mess you up.
01:11:18Hey, man.
01:11:18But I like to slip up and mess me up.
01:11:20Uh-huh.
01:11:21See, now this what I'm talking about, Shabambo.
01:11:23Ha-ha.
01:11:24So get suckin'.
01:11:26Girl's trying to hide the good stuff.
01:11:29Ha-ha!
01:11:30I'm sure they have to look back.
01:11:31Baby, you want to dance?
01:11:33Ha-ha-ha-ha!
01:11:37Yes, I do.
01:11:38But not with you.
01:11:40Ha-ha-ha!
01:11:41Hooray!
01:11:42Hooray!
01:11:44Hooray!
01:11:45Hooray!
01:11:49Hooray!
01:11:50Hey, girl.
01:11:51How you doing?
01:11:52My name is Lope Dog.
01:11:55What's your name?
01:11:56Laquanda.
01:12:03Laquanda, do you have a boyfriend?
01:12:05No.
01:12:06You know, men always seem to be really intimidated by me, but I don't know why.
01:12:12Ha-ha-ha!
01:12:13Well, you know, I can understand how a pretty girl like yourself might make a man a little sick.
01:12:21Oh, I mean nervous.
01:12:23Yeah, well, it takes a really special kind of man to be with me.
01:12:28Damn, girl.
01:12:29You need to slow down with that.
01:12:31Ha-ha-ha!
01:12:34You ain't my daddy.
01:12:36And you ain't paying that to buy bills.
01:12:40Buy your business.
01:12:42Ooh!
01:12:44That's my song!
01:12:52Hi.
01:12:53Ha-ha-ha!
01:12:55Ha-ha-ha!
01:12:55Ha-ha-ha!
01:12:55Hi, my name is Lope Dog.
01:12:56What's your name?
01:12:58Keisha.
01:12:59Ha-ha-ha!
01:13:01Ha-ha-ha!
01:13:01You always just shy, Keisha?
01:13:03Ha-ha-ha!
01:13:04Ha-ha-ha!
01:13:05Ha-ha-ha!
01:13:05Well, uh, look here, Keisha.
01:13:06Why don't you say, uh, we go back to my place and have a little nightcap?
01:13:10Ha-ha-ha!
01:13:12Ha-ha-ha!
01:13:12Ha-ha-ha!
01:13:13Ha-ha-ha!
01:13:14Ha-ha-ha!
01:13:14Ha-ha-ha!
01:13:14Ha-ha-ha!
01:13:20Ha-ha-ha!
01:13:21Ha-ha-ha-ha!
01:13:22Ha-ha-ha!
01:13:22Ha-ha-ha-ha!
01:13:23Okay.
01:13:24All right. Come on, girl.
01:13:25I guess it'll be all right.
01:13:26All right.
01:13:27Ha-ha-ha-ha!
01:13:32Baby, you really love me.
01:13:36You know I do, girl.
01:13:37Mm!
01:13:42Mm.
01:13:44Mm.
01:13:53I really should.
01:13:55Come on, girl.
01:13:57Ain't gonna hurt you.
01:14:00It's just that when I drink, sometimes I get a little crazy.
01:14:05And that's what I want.
01:14:11See, I don't want you to think I'm a freak or nothing like that
01:14:14because I usually don't even go home with guys when I first meet them.
01:14:19But I just feel so comfortable with you.
01:14:24And that's good, girl.
01:14:26Whenever you're with me, I want you to just relax and be yourself.
01:14:36You are so nasty.
01:14:39I should be going.
01:14:40Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:14:40Hey, come on, baby.
01:14:42Relax, okay?
01:14:44Just relax.
01:14:46Don't you go nowhere.
01:14:48You're in good hands now, girl.
01:14:50Nope, the dog's gonna take good care of you, baby.
01:14:54You sure it's okay?
01:14:56Mm-hmm.
01:15:01I want you to just be yourself.
01:15:04I told you I could get a little crazy.
01:15:08Yeah, you get crazy.
01:15:10Come on.
01:15:11Okay.
01:15:25Oh, no, Nero, you ain't going nowhere.
01:15:38Ah, fresh air, fresh fish.
01:15:42Nothing like the great outdoors, huh, Pop?
01:15:46Pop, can we talk teenager to teenager?
01:15:49See, I met this girl.
01:15:52She's pretty special.
01:15:53Look, she's moving out of the hood in a couple of days and thinking about going with her.
01:15:58Man, who is this girl?
01:16:00Her name's Dashiki.
01:16:02Dashiki? Dashiki from over there?
01:16:03Oh, come on, Pop! Don't tell me you slept with her, too.
01:16:07Oh, no, no, it ain't nothing like that, son. It ain't nothing like that.
01:16:12Anyway, I think I'm in love.
01:16:15So what, you knocking bullshit?
01:16:17Yeah.
01:16:18Hold on. You use a condom?
01:16:22No.
01:16:23Good! That's my boy! That's my boy!
01:16:26Yo, never use condoms, son. They take away all the feeling.
01:16:32Yeah.
01:16:33Only thing is, now she's pregnant.
01:16:36And I don't know what to do.
01:16:38Man, look.
01:16:41Let me give you the same advice my father gave me, all right?
01:16:44Give up hope.
01:16:46Look at me. Dreams are for suckers.
01:16:48Ain't no future for you.
01:16:50And don't think about getting no job, Trey,
01:16:53because a black man ain't got no place in the workforce.
01:16:57So hold on. Let me get this straight.
01:16:59What you're trying to say is,
01:17:01don't get caught up in the white man's system
01:17:03of self-perpetuating unemployment
01:17:04and wind up trying to survive on welfare checks and food stamps, right?
01:17:07Wrong, man. Hell, ain't nothing wrong with no welfare check.
01:17:10That's called free money.
01:17:11Hell, our family survived six generations on it.
01:17:19Thanks, Pop.
01:17:21You always know what to say, man.
01:17:22Ah, thought you knew, boy.
01:17:25My boy, Trey.
01:17:27Give themselves some sex.
01:17:28Yep.
01:17:31How are you guys getting service out here?
01:17:33Blazing fast Cricut 5G.
01:17:35Nah.
01:17:36Yeah, you should join Cricut.
01:17:38Yeah.
01:17:40With Cricut, go from nah to...
01:17:43Single line 5G, 35 bucks.
01:17:45If your work is fast-paced and you need to be safe,
01:17:48Hands-Free Skechers Work Slip-Ins are the perfect footwear
01:17:51because Skechers Work Slip-Ins have an invisible built-in shoehorn
01:17:54so your foot slides into place without touching your shoes.
01:17:56Plus, they have safety features like slip-resistant function
01:17:59and more Skechers Work Slip-Ins.
01:18:01You're home for the holidays.
01:18:04You've dreamt of this moment.
01:18:06Back in your old room.
01:18:09Oh.
01:18:12Hey, kiddo.
01:18:13I'll be right there.
01:18:17At least you can get a deal on new shorts for Dad.
01:18:21Something with a little more coverage.
01:18:30When everything on the IHOP value menu is just six bucks,
01:18:33you can go all out.
01:18:34Because eggs, bacon, and fluffy pancakes are just six bucks every day.
01:18:39And OMG, there's a new BLT.
01:18:41And it comes with fries.
01:18:42Celebrate every day for just six bucks
01:18:44with the IHOP value menu.
01:18:45Do you want more curves?
01:18:47Do you want to bulk up?
01:18:49Try CB1 Weight Gainer today.
01:18:51The natural weight gain pill designed for people who struggle to put on weight.
01:18:55I just love the results.
01:18:57I'm loving the way that I look.
01:18:58I was able to eat.
01:18:59I was able to hit the gym.
01:19:00I'm feeling great and I'm looking great.
01:19:02I put on 25 pounds with CB1.
01:19:04I have curves.
01:19:05I have booty.
01:19:06And I have a chest.
01:19:07I've gained 20 pounds in just a couple months.
01:19:10I put on over 30 pounds in three months.
01:19:13Finally, I got the curves that I've always dreamed of.
01:19:15See, man, I'll smile over here.
01:19:16You're locked up and the city ain't the same.
01:19:18God damn it.
01:19:19Get the map.
01:19:19Get the map.
01:19:20Get the map.
01:19:21Let's go twist these suckers.
01:19:23Catch the map, man.
01:19:24Can't you read it?
01:19:25Come on, let's go.
01:19:30Try.
01:19:30Let's go.
01:19:37What's up, Lope?
01:19:39What's up, Try?
01:19:45I can't believe your marked butt is finally leaving the hood.
01:19:50Yep, yep, yep.
01:19:52You and that she, he's going to tie that knot.
01:19:54You need to tie a knot in that witch's tubes.
01:19:56Nah, Rick.
01:19:59I actually think we're going to be all right.
01:20:02Hey, why don't you come with us?
01:20:04What?
01:20:05Take a road trip in a mail truck?
01:20:06Oh, that's the stupidest idea I ever heard.
01:20:11Well, anyway, you just be careful.
01:20:15Come on now, baby.
01:20:16You're talking a low dog.
01:20:17You know I'm going to be all right.
01:20:20Shoot.
01:20:23I tried.
01:20:26Never forget, man.
01:20:29What they don't know.
01:20:33What they don't know.
01:20:34What they don't show.
01:20:36What they don't know.
01:20:36Just don't care about being a minister South Central
01:20:38while they drink their juice in the hood.
01:20:41That's what it's all about, Trey.
01:20:44I'm sorry.
01:20:46What the heck is he talking about?
01:20:59I was selling a little homie.
01:21:00How you doing, man?
01:21:02Hey, you want some of this?
01:21:04Say, man, don't be giving that little kid no alcohol.
01:21:06You and his daddy.
01:21:08I ain't.
01:21:09Hold up.
01:21:12That's shaky.
01:21:13She better give me back my child support money.
01:21:41Hey.
01:21:43Hey, what's up, little man?
01:21:45Shh.
01:21:46Like I was saying, what's up with them tonight?
01:21:51Take care of my baby, all right?
01:21:53And my truck.
01:21:55What?
01:21:56Come on, child, you know I'm only playing with you.
01:22:20They shoot everything in sight, everything.
01:22:29Don't break your shit.
01:22:34Help me!
01:22:36That shit guy!
01:22:39I'll call you later.
01:22:40Page me!
01:22:46I'm coming!
01:22:53Is you OK, Snowflake?
01:22:55Oh, yes, my big chocolate warrior.
01:22:58Oh, shit.
01:22:59Uh-uh-uh.
01:23:02Durek, take care of your mama.
01:23:10Go, Phil!
01:23:19Big bitch!
01:23:31Hey.
01:23:33You know you screwed up, right?
01:23:35Yeah, you screwed up.
01:23:41Hey, Grandma, you got the juice now.
01:23:45Oh, go to hell.
01:23:48I'll marry you.
01:23:49I promise you.
01:23:51I know, sister.
01:23:52I know you're going to miss him, aren't you?
01:23:56Damn right.
01:23:57Where else am I going to find a fool to take care of me and seven kids?
01:24:02Oh, that's right.
01:24:04Listen, sister.
01:24:05Listen.
01:24:06You are a strong African-American woman.
01:24:09And it's because of that I can't be with you.
01:24:11Oh, look at that.
01:24:13Time for me to take out the poor white trash.
01:24:19What are you going to whip, girl?
01:24:22You're alive.
01:24:24Ow!
01:24:28Oh, Lord, why are you doing this?
01:24:30Oh, no, I can't take it.
01:24:32Oh, I can't take it.
01:24:34I can't take it.
01:24:35Oh, my God.
01:24:36Oh, my God.
01:24:38Oh, my God.
01:24:41Oh, my God.
01:24:42Oh, my God.
01:24:43Oh, my God.
01:24:45Oh, my God.
01:24:45I stole my stupid mama.
01:24:47Oh, baby, you're okay.
01:24:49Oh, no.
01:24:52Where's my money?
01:24:53You stole your little hoodlum.
01:24:54Give me my money.
01:24:55I want my money.
01:24:57I'll beat the shit.
01:24:58Oh, my God.
01:24:58They stole my money.
01:25:01Well, that's my story.
01:25:03As for Dashika and I, we got married.
01:25:05Oh, my God.
01:25:09Oh, my God.
01:25:15Moke Dog went in the show business.
01:25:17Break your wood.
01:25:18Break your wood.
01:25:22Break your wood.
01:25:27Preach.
01:25:28He settled down.
01:25:31Oh, my God.
01:25:33Oh, my God.
01:25:34Oh, my God.
01:25:35Oh, my God.
01:25:37Crazy Legs' dream of becoming a dancer finally came true.
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