02:29I'm still me.
02:31Just like when you changed.
02:34You were still you inside.
02:37Yeah, I know.
02:40We can't afford to be emotional right now.
02:43We don't have time to mess around with that.
02:45We need to move.
02:47Where?
02:48To stop him.
02:49I'm not just gonna give up.
02:50Cooper, look at yourself.
02:52You'll trip over your goddamn trousers before you can even draw your gun.
02:55Give it to me.
02:57Give it to me.
02:58My gun.
02:59Let's go.
03:03I won't stay like this.
03:07I'll grow up one day.
03:09Right?
03:16Well, maybe this is a gift, you know?
03:23Maybe you could just say, screw it and start your life again from scratch.
03:29Knowing everything that you do now, that would be a gift, right?
03:54Okay?
03:54Tequila, please.
03:55I need to...
03:57My boyfriend got a poopy diaper?
04:00Fuck you.
04:02I'm sorry.
04:04I really am.
04:06I just find this all inexplicable and fucking terrifying.
04:11So I joke.
04:16How is he?
04:18He's tired and he wanted to lay down for a bit.
04:25He doesn't have any pubic hair.
04:27What, less thing to worry about?
04:28I don't know, mate.
04:30Don't blame him.
04:30This shit can't be permanent, right?
04:32Just stop asking me shit like that, okay?
04:33How the fuck am I supposed to know?
04:35Calm down. Calm down.
04:36We have to strategize.
04:41Are we still going for it?
04:46Fuck yes, we are.
04:48We just need to get our shit together and move.
04:52Then what the fuck is the plan?
04:57They say we call Diana, get his location,
05:01use her and his wife who apparently hates him to breach access.
05:06Then we slit his fucking throat.
05:09Stop this, stop what happened to us,
05:11and now Coop who's been dealt the most fucked up hand of all.
05:15How does that sound?
05:17Yeah, fuck with that.
05:18God, I love it when a plan comes together.
05:25Obesity and advanced diabetes were threatening my life and my legs.
05:30I was told amputation was in my future.
05:33But not anymore.
05:35Thanks to the beauty,
05:38I'm living my best life.
05:43No, no, no, no.
05:46Wait, I thought this shit wasn't dropping till tomorrow.
05:48I'm cursed by my family, James.
05:51Until now.
05:55What is this?
06:08We're too late.
06:13No need to control the doctors,
06:15protect the boosters,
06:16or proof for everyone.
06:17Need help cleaning up your gooey sock
06:18or a soothing voice to hold you through those beautiful sweats?
06:22Visit the beauty website
06:23to find the package that's right for you.
06:40Yeah.
06:42Whoo!
06:43Yeah!
06:54don't don't do it it's fine you told me you needed another week to heal i need to see my
07:01new fucking nose go outside if you're gonna be such a karen oh god i can't
07:13does it hurt it fucking hurts what the fuck
07:19are you okay look ah this that looks great this is not a kendall jenner i showed that fucking butcher
07:28like 50 classic k-gen shots and this this is what the best in montclair comes up with for seven
07:33fucking grand do you know how many summers i saved up for this how can you even tell with all
07:37the
07:38swelling and the bruising you remember in second grade i broke my collarbone we both thought i was
07:43gonna be lopsided for life update i'm not stop why it's already fucked up no curve
07:55no point
08:01all you see is my fucking dad
08:03no one wants to make out with a chick with the face of a fucking contractor
08:05relax you're gonna make it worse
08:10look i'm not insane
08:13i let go of our vocover dreams long long ago
08:17but like
08:20this was all part of a plan
08:22i only applied to out-of-state schools for a reason
08:25i can't continue the next stage of my life being the same sad
08:29tomboy ruthie with a big fucking beak
08:32i need to launch a new version of me
08:38a beautiful me
08:41i feel it too
08:43you know how hard it is for me to find genes that give my ass the boost and hide my
08:47extra squish
08:52but you are more than your nose
08:54you are amazing and you will do amazing things no matter what
09:01you are beautiful
09:04god
09:07oh
09:08fuck
09:09one second
09:14oh god
09:18oh my god
09:20oh
09:29obesity and advanced diabetes
09:31is
09:32protecting my life
09:32and my life
09:33this is the beauty website
09:35you can find the package
09:36that's right
09:39not anymore
09:40thanks to the beauty
09:42long ago
09:43you are forced to leave our best selves behind
10:02no need to consult a doctor
10:10get jabbed and feel bad today
10:27hey cunt
10:28yeah
10:30you
10:30remember me
10:33i know
10:35i got the shot
10:36that's right
10:37and now i have a better rack
10:39ass
10:40and mark wyler won't stop liking my post
10:42no fucking way
10:52enjoy the view
10:53bitch
11:00look at you
11:01look at me
11:03i won
11:08i'm gonna kill you all
11:11what the hell just happened
11:13tina castle just whooped kelly hennigan's ass
11:16tina with the front butt and training bra
11:18she got the shot
11:20she got the beauty
11:23what
11:24she's stunning
11:30and that side is called the hypotenuse
11:33to find that you use a simple little formula called the pythagorean theorem
11:37which of course as you can see on the board
11:39is a squared plus b squared equals c squared
11:49and the nurse turn 216 now
11:53hold him till he doesn't hurt his head
11:55step a left
12:01grab his feet
12:02he gave me something
12:03what did he take
12:05no he gave me something
12:06what did he take
12:07nothing i swear
12:08you can't help him if you don't tell me you're his best friend
12:12told me he got the shot this morning
12:15this is the beauty
12:36despite his shocking transformation
12:38the president says it is the best he's ever felt
12:41declaring this new pharmaceutical
12:43and a modern day scientific miracle
12:47on his way to marine one
12:50he declared that he felt
12:51and looked so much younger that
12:53along with running for a third term
12:55i'm also going to run
12:57for a fourth and a fifth
12:58end quote
13:00byron forrest is a genius
13:02i look forward to hanging
13:04the medal of freedom around his neck
13:06that stuff's really everywhere
13:07he's at the white house next week
13:09before leaving on his trip to a nato conference
13:12the president revealed that every member of his cabinet
13:15has been given the drug
13:16and cleared the way for emergency use authorization
13:20with further federal backing
13:22full fda approval is immediately
13:24in effect
13:25and questions about the nature of his clinical trials
13:28well at least the president doesn't look like an octogenero
13:32thank you very much angela
13:34that was minutes ago from the white house
13:36we'll have more daily headlines right after the break
13:42we're gonna need to talk to her
13:50i'm living my best life
13:52okay guys
13:53i did it
13:54it's done
13:55i got the beauty shot
13:58at the pop-up at christopher street
14:01one hour ago
14:02yes
14:02and yes
14:04i jumped the line
14:05yes i had the sponsorship
14:06but
14:07i was a little afraid
14:08and i just
14:09took the leave
14:11and newsflash
14:13it didn't hurt at all
14:14and everybody at the pop-up was so nice
14:18and so welcoming
14:19and just like the friendly nurse said
14:22i am starting to develop a fever
14:25but apparently that is totally normal
14:29omg i am so excited
14:33follow and like and watch part two for the results
14:36keep clicking for the big reveal
15:00you guys
15:01okay so i just looked in the mirror
15:04and do i have abs now
15:06and is my jawline really this snatched
15:09and can i finally fit into this fucking sherbet colored speedo
15:22is this real life
15:27oh my god
15:29dinner's ready
15:45what's the matter
15:48nothing
15:49why
15:50your mom worked hard to make a nice morning
15:52sorry
15:52no
15:53it's true
15:53no
15:54i'm just not that hungry okay
15:58uh-uh
15:59what's the rule
16:03i wishy
16:04that kind of surgery is not fun
16:06she's healing
16:07but she's gonna look amazing
16:11so is mickey larson
16:13mickey larson got a nose job
16:15oh mom he got the beauty
16:16i watched him spaz and start changing right in the middle of math class
16:20jesus christ really
16:21everyone's doing it
16:24the ones who haven't will soon enough
16:26all right
16:26i know it seems that way right now
16:28but just wait
16:29no i always wait
16:30i really want this
16:32more than anything
16:33pala why on earth would you say such a thing
16:35you are so cute
16:36i do not want to be cute
16:37especially not when everyone else is going to be that fucking hot
16:39look i get it
16:42okay this is the hot new thing and you want in
16:44i begged my folks for a bow flex when i was in high school
16:47you know how many times i used that thing
16:48just eat well and keep getting on your bike
16:51you guys are such fucking hypocrites
16:52you think i don't see that shit in the fridge
16:53ozempic is different
16:55i was on the verge of heart disease
16:56you're experimenting with off-label diabetes
16:58a doctor prescribed it
17:00it's a medical treatment honey
17:02oh please
17:02did a doctor also prescribe those tight new jeans you love strolling around in
17:06i see that smile when you get a double take
17:08bella
17:09don't talk to your mother that way
17:10look there is nothing wrong with wanting to look good feel good
17:15but there's more to life and more to you than the chase for perfection
17:20perfection
17:22two summers ago we spent every weekend visiting graham in the home
17:25and she didn't know who any of us were
17:28uncle richie two kinds of cancer
17:30and the beauty can stop that
17:32and make me feel better about myself
17:33i mean you guys should want this too
17:34i have to say i am shocked bella
17:37where's my sweet girl
17:38did you even know the first thing about this
17:40like what it does
17:41yes that's why i want it
17:42it's irreversible
17:43and we're starting to hear about all these different kinds of side effects
17:46oh yeah mutations comas disfigurement ignition ketosis
17:50have you heard about that
17:51stop that's like a minuscule number of people
17:54only five percent of cases so far
17:56that's nothing
17:56the odds of me getting hit by a bus are higher
17:58okay that's not what i'm hearing
17:59and even five percent
18:01seven percent
18:03is that a risk that you want to take
18:04if i got a ninety five on my research paper
18:07you guys would be shitting yourself with happiness
18:08that's enough it's thousands of dollars that we don't have
18:12and neither do you
18:14end of discussion
18:15you guys don't think i can get five ten grand
18:23i get good grades
18:25i play soccer
18:26my clothes are fine
18:28no one makes fun of me or bothers me
18:32it sounds great right
18:37it's because no one even knows i exist
18:41i'm like a ghost just drifting through life
18:44no one can see
18:45and i don't want to live like that anymore
18:49dad what about the risk of living a life unfulfilled
18:53of wondering if more is possible
18:56that's what scares me
18:58and how there's finally an out for me
19:01and people who feel like me
19:08i turn 18 in a week
19:10i don't need permission anymore
19:14you guys told me to follow my dreams and passions
19:17and to do what makes me happy
19:19and this is it
19:20i want to be the best version of me
19:22i want to finally be beautiful
19:28you guys don't fucking understand anything
19:53what's up
19:55though? Hi. You're usually more excited for lunch with your bestie. Mazel bitch, it's
20:05me. Holy shit. What do you think? You really solved your nose problem. Right. Oh my god.
20:17Do I not look devastating? How and when? Over the weekend. I gave Ben and Sarah the
20:23top story pitch about the botched nose shop and the parentals caved. Really? Yeah, really.
20:30I don't know if it's like them feeling bad about putting me on Adderall when I was 10
20:34or if they just genuinely know like how important this time in my life is but they ponied up
20:41for the full poke treatment. What's that? The full platinum concierge experience.
20:55First, there was Connor. Talk about a warm welcome. Welcome, Ruthie. I'll be your chaperone
21:02for your treatment today. Bell, this guy was fucking hot and he was a real beauty. We're
21:09pretty chill here. Just whatever you do, don't call me nurse. Those are for doctors and hospitals
21:14and negative energy institutions and this is not that. My only purpose is to gently guide
21:19you to your best self. Whenever you're ready, no rush. The paperwork must have been a nightmare.
21:27Not when your parents pay 20 grand. Welcome, Ruthie. There was like one stupid form. I don't
21:38even know what it said, but it was probably fine. Thank you. Please proceed to your treatment.
21:46A tonic to help cleanse and balance the body. We believe it makes the change easier.
21:52It was like the best spa day ever on steroids. They had everything. Juices, tonics, aromatherapy.
22:03I hate to say it. You remember Stacy's instance from Bali? Dude, it was like that. Some real
22:09white lotus shit. I'll step out while you get into your transformation rope. Take your time.
22:18And then they gave me the shot. Lay back. Ready? Did it hurt? No. Isn't that so weird? I kept
22:43waiting for it to hurt.
22:44And it just never did. And I don't know if that's because I was with Connor and I was like
22:48totally smitten on him.
22:50Or maybe I'm just used to it now because of all the stupid COVID stuff. But I seriously would have
22:55let Connor
22:55stab me like a thousand times if he wanted to. Well said. Thank you. Follow me to your no harm
23:03experience.
23:06After that, they took me to this room, right? Sure. Totally normal. Except there was no furniture.
23:16Just floor to ceiling cashmere padding. Oh my god. It like looked and felt like heaven.
23:22I'm telling you, Bo. This place was fucking legit. We're gonna be right here, Lucy.
23:27And as if Connor wasn't enough to keep me happy, in walks another hottie. And I started sweating.
23:33Because of the guy. Well, that's what I thought. Turns out that's just the beginning of the treatment.
23:38Just relax. We've got you.
23:48They said it took like three hours. But because they spritzed my dose with some kind of like benzo,
23:52I was able to just sleep right through it.
24:36So, we'll be right back.
24:43I just went in, took a little nap.
24:47I woke up three hours later and I looked like this.
24:55Wow, how does it feel?
24:59Incredible, but also like super weird.
25:02I don't know, it's hard to explain.
25:04You just have to experience it for yourself.
25:07It's like magic.
25:10Wait, I gotta show you these.
25:22Oh, wait, look at this one.
25:23You look hot.
25:24Yeah, I am hot.
25:25I know.
25:27Yeah, that's me.
25:28That's also me.
25:29Oh my God, I'm dead.
25:30Looks like you finally got that reboot you always talked about.
25:33I know.
25:34And just in time too, like fuck nose jobs and thread lifts.
25:38This is how you start college.
25:40Like I get to go in there, the best version of me.
25:45And I don't know about Northwestern.
25:47Like maybe I need to go somewhere else.
25:49Somewhere beachier and like sexier, like Miami.
25:53Or even like Hawaii.
25:55Yeah, but you want to be a journalist.
25:58That's why you're going there.
25:59Things are different now.
26:02And I think I want to be a model.
26:05Wow.
26:07Wow.
26:07What do you think?
26:10Um, I am insanely jealous, obviously.
26:16I'm very excited for you.
26:19It's just, um, when you're off in Paris running around on photo shoots and stuff, just don't forget about me.
26:28What are you talking about?
26:30You're literally going to be there with me.
26:33You think I would do this and not think about you?
26:36How long have we been best friends?
26:38Forever.
26:39Duh.
26:44When I was leaving, Connor stopped me.
26:47You're one of the lucky ones.
26:49This experience isn't attainable or affordable for most.
26:52But there is another way for people to at least get a dose.
26:56So if you know of anyone, I can help.
27:09You said you can help people that can't get it the normal way?
27:17What do you think?
27:19Is it legal?
27:21Is it legal?
27:23Okay, sorry.
27:25So what's your holdup?
27:27Did anyone say anything about side effects?
27:30Um, yeah.
27:31They did mention, like, a tidal wave of hot dick.
27:34And you'll probably get asked to prom, like, way more times than you can drown.
27:37Be so for real.
27:39Is there anything crazy that could happen?
27:41No!
27:42Like, dying.
27:43No, they did not warn me that I might die.
27:46Okay?
27:47If you want, I can ask when I go get my booster.
27:50And you have to get boosters for life?
27:52Like, what happens if I stop taking one?
27:54What happens if my dad stops taking his Lipidor?
27:56Or his Lexaprow?
27:58You want to talk about side effects?
28:00This is what was best for me.
28:01And I think it could be what's best for you, too.
28:07Call him.
28:08Call him.
28:25Call him.
29:07Transcription by CastingWords
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