- 4 days ago
Late Bloomer S03E01-2 [Full Movie] [Vertical Drama]Full EP - Full
Category
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Short filmTranscript
00:00It sounds pretty traumatic for you, but like, you know
00:03Traumatic, but like, cool, like, this is a good story to tell
00:05Absolutely, this is what it's for
00:07This is all for this moment
00:09Everything led us here, that's incredible
00:12How crazy is that?
00:13I'll be right back
00:57This is what it's for
00:57This is what it's for
00:59This is what it's for
01:25What's your name?
01:29What's your name?
01:30I'm sorry.
01:31I'm sorry.
01:33I'm sorry.
01:35I'm sorry.
01:39Hey, there we go.
02:03I'm sorry.
02:05I'm sorry.
02:19I'm sorry.
02:33I'm sorry.
02:44I'm sorry.
02:47This guy, I'm the real part of this group of people's studio, we can have fun.
02:51Fueling the global party movement.
02:54Tired of bringing regular seltzers that just don't fit-
03:07Oh!
03:07Are you tired of bringing regular seltzers that just don't fit the vibe?
03:12Introducing four new bold flavors that are fueling-
03:15How's that?
03:22Oh, my trip was amazing.
03:23The best part?
03:24Ibiza.
03:25And then we went to Barcelona.
03:27So would you recommend the spaghetti?
03:29I just got back from Paris and I was eating croissant.
03:48Oh, yeah, these, yeah, I actually got these pants from, uh, from Pakistan.
03:53What?
03:54Yo, that's how you say it.
03:57Oh, yeah, these, yeah, I, yo, that's how you say it.
04:05Oh, sick, sick, sick, yeah.
04:06Yeah, loot the chest, loot the chest.
04:08Hey, did you guys actually know that the word loot is loot?
04:11It's actually taken from the Indian word, like, it's like a Sanskrit.
04:16Yo, uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, if we are going to barbecue, we should go to my dad's.
04:24Because he actually makes this crazy tandoori kebab.
04:28Tandoori kebab.
04:30Yeah, I'm saying tandoori kebab.
04:32Bro, what?
04:32Oh, boy, you're sick.
04:33Yeah, tandoori kebab.
04:34You got this good chicken, man.
04:36I'm just using it.
04:37I'm not hanging out with you guys anymore.
04:39Oh, hi.
04:40Shut up.
04:41You're so annoying.
05:14You, uh,
05:15Get me some fruit roll-ups in the kitchen.
05:23Okay, what the fuck is going on?
05:25What?
05:26Who is that?
05:27And what the fuck are you wearing?
05:28That's my girlfriend, Raven.
05:30We're in love.
05:31I thought I told you that.
05:32Ah, and I'm guessing you met her at the Satanic Temple, too?
05:34You know what?
05:35Mop all you want, but Satanism is beautiful.
05:38Imagine a place that rejects classism, creed, and caste.
05:41And you can rave all night and connect to a higher power and realize we're all one.
05:46It's not like sicky and dark mode.
05:48What?
05:49No, it's not.
05:50It's the same shit, different from you.
05:52You're even more lost, bro.
05:53Okay, and we haven't heard a peep from you.
05:55You good?
05:56Yeah, I'm fine.
05:57I'm just tired.
05:59Probably ended up watching Rebecca's story, and now he's down fast.
06:02The story?
06:03Yeah, Ryan put a ring on it.
06:05Yeah, whatever, man.
06:06I don't care about that.
06:07That's why he keeps checking his texts every two minutes.
06:09I don't.
06:14Buddy, you got beat by Jesus.
06:16Move on.
06:17It's been five fucking years already.
06:19It's only been a year, okay?
06:20And it's not that easy.
06:23She was special.
06:24Yeah, since the guy that's smashing a different hinge girl every other night.
06:27Oh, man.
06:28You look pathetic.
06:29Why don't you stop moping around here like a bitch and enjoy yourself?
06:32Yo, Sonny.
06:33What?
06:33I opened up my doors to all these people out of the goodness of my heart?
06:37Even fucking Nav is here.
06:39Or is that French Montana?
06:41You can't tell us that?
06:42Yo, my bhaji from another bingy.
06:46What's good?
06:48I'm learning Punjabi.
06:50Nice.
06:50Yo, there's my favorite client.
06:52I keep doing.
06:53Yo, what's up, man?
06:55Yo, I'm just going to steal him for a second, okay?
06:59That's the manager guy you set him up with?
07:01Yo, that's my dog from Turner, dude.
07:03He's pretty handsy.
07:04Yeah, don't act like Thammo guys aren't the same.
07:06Yeah, they are.
07:07And it's annoying.
07:07Yo, you get that Seltzer PR package yet?
07:09Uh, I don't think so.
07:12Whatever, man.
07:13Just tag the minute, okay?
07:15Post the can and tell them how you Seltzer pelts.
07:19It doesn't matter what it means, man.
07:21Butter him off with a freaking smile, high energy.
07:23I need this by tomorrow, man.
07:25I'm trying to build these relationships for you, brother.
07:27All right, all right.
07:35What is this?
07:51Very nice.
08:30You're right.
08:35Let's have some fun.
08:37Fun?
08:38What do you think?
08:52Nice weather.
08:54Yeah.
09:06What do you think?
09:12What do you want to do?
09:14It's a light, isn't it?
09:16It's very beautiful.
09:17Let's do it.
09:17It's a selfie.
09:30Do you order a pizza?
09:32Now we're really having fun.
09:38It's fucking blockchain technology, right?
09:40Think about it like this.
09:41Because it's so fucking secure,
09:43the government's all these fucking agents
09:45are trying to get into your fucking account.
09:46They can't.
09:48Because the encryption, right?
09:50So what you want to fucking do to create generational wealth?
09:52Right?
09:53Fucking buy at the bottom.
09:55You buy Gooch coin.
09:56Crazy fucking investment.
09:58I'm telling you, it's fucking sick.
10:00Gotta fucking get into it.
10:01Sorry for swearing.
10:02I'm fucking excited about fucking crypto.
10:05It's sick.
10:05Yo, Jasmine's world, bro.
10:07What's good, bro?
10:08You haven't posted something in like a month, bro.
10:10I suppose it's only two weeks ago.
10:11Nah, nah, but you have to post something good.
10:13You know what I'm saying?
10:13Like the streets are waiting, my G.
10:15Yo, you seen this Prem guy?
10:17Yo, just post some good stuff.
10:19Might even take your spot if you don't get on it, bro.
10:22Yo, plug your phone real quick.
10:23I'll show you, I'll show you.
10:24Search up P-R-E-M, Prem Prem.
10:26Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:27That one right there.
10:28Yo, watch that one.
10:29And hell yeah, I want extra mozzarella on that pizza.
10:33Yo, this has 3 million views that he just posted yesterday.
10:38Hey guys, I know we all like to have fun, but it is important to celebrate our differences
10:42because, frame means love, frame out.
10:47Oh, yo.
10:49Shit, man's getting swerved now, eh?
10:53Yo, yo, let's watch that one, right there.
10:55I'm gonna teach you how to make the most amazing bookalicious routine.
10:58Baby, stop looking at me.
11:00Boy, I'm not on a mansion.
11:02Hey, yo.
11:03Yo, everyone, listen.
11:05Listen up.
11:06Can I get attention, please?
11:08First of all, thank you all for showing up tonight.
11:11Big thank you to Mummy G for the picorne.
11:15And shout out Neil, who ate two trains.
11:20Last but not least, give it up for my man, Jasmid.
11:29Yo, Jasmid, where you at? Come on out.
11:33Jasmid.
11:36Yo, Jasmid.
11:38Jasmid.
11:38Jasmid.
11:39Jasmid.
11:39Oh, that guy?
11:40He left.
11:42Left? What do you mean left?
11:43I don't know, he got swerved by some Rebecca chick and dip.
11:46Yeah, he looked pretty depressed.
11:48You guys might want to check the local bridges, water towers, nearest tall building maybe.
11:53Point straight to Boyceville.
11:54This car's still here, where the fuck is he?
11:56I checked the pool house, nothing.
11:57I went to the neighbors, they don't even know who he is.
11:59Why would the neighbors know who he is?
12:01Okay, let's roll out.
12:02Wait, wait, wait, wait. None of us should be driving, I'm tipsy as fuck.
12:05Wait!
12:07Oh, who the fuck are you two? Get the fuck away from my car!
12:09Sorry for you.
12:09Who invited you?
12:11Fuck.
12:12Oh, we could take my bike.
12:13What?
12:14Or your neighbor's helicopter.
12:15You don't have to fly a fucking helicopter.
12:18Yes I do, bro.
12:19It's, um...
12:20It's X to go up and then...
12:22Right, of course.
12:23Circle to go down.
12:24Uh-huh.
12:25R1 is shoot, so don't fucking press R1.
12:27Are you fucking for real?
12:29First of all, both of you fucking relax.
12:31Yeah, it's super relaxing getting in a car with a drunken idiot.
12:34I'm a really good driver when I'm drunk.
12:36Because I know I'm drunk, I'm actually way more focused on the road.
12:40What?
12:40I mean, you could say I'm a better driver drunk than I ever am sober.
12:45That makes sense to me.
12:46I can't believe your dumb faces are the last thing I'm going to see.
12:48Sonny!
12:49Get out.
12:50I'll be doing car save off.
12:51Bro, where the fuck did you come from?
12:53I was taking a piss in the woods.
12:55We have washrooms in the house.
12:56You fucking did not need to do coke in the bathroom.
12:57And I'm fucking wrong?
12:59Look the fuck out.
13:00You're fucking ugly, bro.
13:01Look how fucking drunk you are.
13:02Bro, what are you guys saying?
13:03What's up?
13:03Why are you fucking letting him drive, bro?
13:05Look how fucking ripped he is, bro.
13:06I drive better drunk, trust me.
13:08All right, where are we going?
13:09Oh, maybe he's, uh, emo eating at the spot.
13:11Let's fucking roll.
13:16So, uh, therapy.
13:17How's that going?
13:18I don't know.
13:19It's a lot.
13:20I kinda lost myself after the whole Hummer thing.
13:23I don't know why I attract the guys that I attract.
13:25Mmm, he's probably your son.
13:27Yo!
13:27No sign of your speed.
13:29I don't even think he came here.
13:30But I did grab hella shit.
13:32Chili chicken.
13:33Hakka chow mein.
13:34Ginger fish.
13:35You guys are chicken here too, right?
13:36A vegetarian.
13:38Shit.
13:38I'll be right back.
13:39No, Sonny.
13:40You already took forever.
13:41We gotta go.
13:42What do you want from me?
13:43He's hungry.
13:43No, Sonny.
13:44Chill.
13:44Sonny.
13:46Sonny.
13:47Great.
13:47No one's here.
13:48He goes to the lake to clear his head.
13:50I don't know.
13:51You guys mind if I smoke a joint?
13:52Absolutely not.
13:54There's only one way of consuming quong, bro.
13:55That's too fucking ruggada.
13:57Think about it.
13:57You gotta be on the battlefield proper like a warrior standing there.
14:03What the fuck did I say?
14:05Sorry, sorry, sorry.
14:06Wait.
14:07You don't think that he pulled up to...
14:10No.
14:12No, he wouldn't.
14:15Wait.
14:16Did he have?
14:18No, he wouldn't.
14:28Wait.
14:34So, is it just you two in the house today?
14:38Haha.
14:39Nice.
14:40Nice.
14:41Also no one else.
14:42Nobody at all.
14:43I know Monby's away on vacation, but I know you two have a lot of family, people coming by.
14:50You know, did anyone come by?
14:51Maybe they came through the basement or the back door is sometimes open.
14:56Sometimes people get old and they look different.
14:58Strange relatives?
14:59Anyone?
15:00Anyone?
15:01Okay.
15:02What is this all, Tamasha?
15:04What she's trying to ask?
15:05Badly.
15:06Did just me come by?
15:07Why?
15:08Is he okay?
15:09Did you call him?
15:10Yeah, no, no.
15:10No, Auntie.
15:11He's fine.
15:12He's just...
15:12He's not picking up his phone.
15:14Why would he not pick up your calls?
15:16Did something happen?
15:17No, no, no, no, no.
15:18He was just with us earlier, but he...
15:20He forgot something at home and went to go pick it up.
15:25So maybe we thought he meant this home.
15:29Hmm.
15:47I'm just kidding.
15:57What?
16:09Uh-huh.
16:10Uh-huh!
16:21Hello?
16:26Hello?
16:29Is everything OK?
16:33You alright?
16:40Oh, hey, man.
16:43Just breathe?
16:45What are you doing here?
16:47Is this real? Are you real?
16:51Yeah, I'm real.
16:53What are you doing here?
16:55Are you living in your car?
17:05You see that house down the street?
17:10That was the house, man.
17:12The house that Mia bought me.
17:15We're supposed to move into before...
17:18Before she put my heart on my chest and just...
17:24Now it's just standing there.
17:26Unfinished.
17:28Just like my hopes and dreams.
17:32OK...
17:32You can still finish the house, man.
17:34You can move in yourself.
17:37You think I have money like that anymore?
17:39You think I'm not losing bidding war to Chad GPT?
17:44Us realtors?
17:45We're washed, man.
17:47Do you know how that feels?
17:48Mr. Dollar of you?
17:52Look, man.
17:55I got my heart broken, too.
17:57And what's worse is...
17:58She's back with her ex.
18:01And she's engaged.
18:04It sucks, man. I know.
18:06It's weird how fast things change.
18:09It's tough to keep up.
18:11Like...
18:11How am I supposed to stay relevant with any of this when...
18:14Everyone's an influencer just pumping out a bunch of nothing?
18:17I feel washed.
18:21But I...
18:22Just breathe for it all.
18:25Had a plan.
18:28Marriage.
18:29Kids.
18:30Run for Mayor Brampton.
18:31Kids.
18:32Hit a million followers and...
18:34More kids.
18:34Yeah, look.
18:36Sometimes you don't need a plan.
18:38OK?
18:38Sometimes you just...
18:39Need to leave some things unfinished, like your house.
18:42Oh!
18:44Look, man.
18:46You're a smart guy, alright?
18:48And as much as I hate to admit it,
18:50There's been so many times I wanted to be like you.
18:53But this...
18:54Just sitting here crying about something that could have been?
18:57It's pathetic!
18:59So get up off your ass and stop moping around like a little bitch!
19:09Oh!
19:10Shit!
19:11I just realized something.
19:13You're a brother.
19:15My brother.
19:16You could bring Monvi back to me.
19:19Oh.
19:20Yeah.
19:20Dude, what?
19:21Yeah, you can convince her that I'm the best she'll ever have.
19:25Yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:26You can have my house, man.
19:28I'll even finish the floor for you.
19:30Where's my...
19:31Where's my...
19:31Where's my...
19:32You can have my whip, Mark.
19:33You can have my keys.
19:34Take it all.
19:35Just...
19:35Please, man.
19:36Just bring her back to me.
19:37I don't know what to do.
19:38I can't sleep.
19:41Where's my...
19:41I don't know.
19:42I thought we were pros, man.
19:46Just bring her back to me, please.
19:47I really...
19:48I really...
19:49I can't do anything.
19:52I can't think about anything.
19:53No!
19:57No!
20:12Everything okay, RPG?
20:13Yes, boop.
20:14I'm glad you all are here.
20:16It's nice to have the house full.
20:22oh he's at his spot who just need i have his location
20:27are you dumb why are you kidding this before because my phone was dead i have a charger in
20:32my car cars can charge phones that's incredible you know what just forget it let's make moves
20:39yeah bye auntie neil hold on one minute please uncle there's such a hot picture of young guru
20:46on it so handsome either way you shouldn't have pictures of gurus in your home it's wrong
20:54tell them i love you love you love you tell them also invest in gucci coin here give this
21:01to jasmine you'll be seeing him before i do okay okay gucci
21:12stupid
21:17hey there's waldo guru waldo we called you like a million fucking times fyi where the
21:24hell were you man we've been ripping it up and down saga to scarves yeah look sorry i just
21:30i needed some space yo how do you keep letting this girl run laps in your head you know you
21:34could just talk to us instead of running off i know you're still not over it this guy's never
21:40gonna get over it he needs a bear to cross the face johnny don't be so judgmental what are you
21:44brown trauma is a real thing what trauma what trauma it takes time see how's these things
21:48here yeah come over
21:58holy can't fuck parking for hell this city it's your place eh no pictures of the gurus it's a shame
22:06what the hell is he doing here buddy are you fucked if it wasn't for me these drunk idiots
22:10wouldn't get here alive all right well thanks i guess
22:17look guys i'm
22:21i appreciate you i just want you to know that i appreciate you when you tolerate me going through
22:27all my dumb emo depresso lopey phases and still sticking by me so thank you thank you for the
22:40gifts thank you for the party thank you for just keeping me in check and thank you for just everything
22:49that you do for me i love you guys come on come on i love you guys so much oh
23:00what we've known each
23:01other for so long yeah we are bonds remain together okay
23:06uh
23:26excuse me
23:27uh
23:35hello
23:36hi
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27:32Hey, how come you don't look like a vampire anymore?
27:34Oh, I broke up with my girlfriend.
27:37This is all that's left.
27:45Yes, babe.
27:47I told you I was going away this weekend.
27:50Right before we left.
27:51How else am I supposed to make money?
27:54Just get Mom to watch him.
27:56Holy fuck.
27:57Relax.
27:58You always do this shit.
27:59Fuck, man.
28:01Hey.
28:04You got a lot of anger in here.
28:05I can hold space if you want.
28:07This book says that feelings need to be birthed and pushed out of your emotional cervix.
28:11What are you talking about?
28:12All right, good news.
28:13It's got off the wall, Sonny.
28:14He's got a guy coming through the border and he just hit your ride with him.
28:17Nice.
28:17Yeah, probably take the car too.
28:19Sick.
28:22No way, man.
28:23Bye, bye, bye, buddy.
28:26Everything looks good.
28:27You guys are good to go.
28:28Here we go.
28:28You guys have a safe trip, okay?
28:30Take care.
28:32Nice car, by the way.
28:33Fucking white people.
28:36So why do you feel like you got into that relationship?
28:40I don't know.
28:40I just, I don't, I don't even know how I ended up with a guy like Umair.
28:44It was nice to be taken care of.
28:46I'm used to being the one who takes care of everyone else, especially at home.
28:50I take care of my mom, my younger sisters.
28:52My dad was always on the road growing up, so I didn't really have a choice.
28:55Well, because you're the eldest, right?
28:57Oftentimes, the eldest child picks up the slack when the parents are lacking.
29:02But I feel stupid for having Mr. Red Flags with him.
29:05That's just not me.
29:08Anyways, this is why I'm only going to date women from now.
29:11But the most recent time felt kind of boring, I guess.
29:14I don't know.
29:15Tell me, Chippy.
29:16Are you looking for relationships to feel dramatic?
29:20Look, whomever you choose to date, it seems like you need to get to the root cause of why you
29:24attract these dynamics.
29:28What do you mean?
29:29Well, it just means being accountable for your patterns.
29:32My, me, I'm the victim.
29:35He's the one who needs to be held accountable.
29:36Him and all the other men.
29:38Right, that's fucking it.
29:41Shut the fuck up!
29:42I'm already fucking pissed for being gaslit in therapy.
29:45Don't even a lot of fucks have anything else to do?
29:46Holy shit!
29:49Sorry, ma'am.
29:50Sorry.
29:51For fuck's sake.
29:57What were you saying again?
29:58You know, maybe we should just switch gears a little bit and talk about the anger.
30:05What anger?
30:06Okay, they have this place called Guns and Buns.
30:08You can get a gun and a burglar.
30:11Oh, oh, my gosh.
30:12I think this is our truck.
30:16Oh, dude.
30:17Oh, shit.
30:19Tiljot.
30:19Come on in, bro.
30:20What's up?
30:21Oh, this is my cousin, Jasmeet.
30:23How's it, bro?
30:23How's it, bro?
30:24And this is his, um, this is his Navi.
30:27How's it, bro?
30:28How's it, bro?
30:29How's it, bro?
30:31Bro, thank you so much for picking us up.
30:33Of course, of course, of course.
30:36All you Canadian ones say bro a lot.
30:38Yo, bro.
30:39Toilet, bro.
30:40Hemorrhage, bro.
30:41This thing, bro.
30:43All right, we're basically just saying, paaji.
30:45If you think about it, our bro to paaji ratio is the exact same.
30:49Paaji this, paaji that, paaji oh, chanka paaji eh, chanka paaji.
30:52Paaji, bro, bro, paaji.
30:53Paaji, bro, bro, paaji.
30:54There's literally no difference, man.
30:56We all have that inner drive to say that word.
31:01So you nervous to host it?
31:03Uh, not really, man.
31:06I've done so many of these, it's like clockwork.
31:08Too many at this point.
31:11Come on, bro.
31:11A gig's a gig.
31:12You know that, man.
31:13Oh, I'm sure you'll be great, paaji.
31:15Thanks, man.
31:16For how long you've been driving truck for Sunny?
31:19Uh, just under a year.
31:21Does he, like, tell you what you're picking up?
31:24Do you know what's bad there?
31:25Uh, you're tired, you know, usually, probably.
31:28You know, I had to help pay tons of debt and some medical bills back home.
31:33This has been keeping you steady.
31:35That's good, man.
31:36As long as it's honest work, man, you never know what that guy is.
31:38Oh, nothing like that, paaji.
31:41I'm just grateful to Sunny, paaji.
31:43He's been keeping me employed as I look for a job in my field.
31:46Well, you're starting.
31:48Well, you want to get a job in a field?
31:51Yeah, I'm a farmer back home, so looking for a job in my field.
31:54Yeah, yeah, yeah.
31:56In his field.
31:56In his field.
31:57In my...
31:58Well, you have to go back there to work in your field.
31:59Are you telling me to go back?
32:00No.
32:01Oh, man.
32:04Bro.
32:05Oh, bro.
32:07Oh, bro.
32:08Oh, bro.
32:31Shiddeh, how are you doing this job?
32:36Sorry, I didn't know my work for two days.
32:39That's not my job.
32:41How do you respect yourself?
32:43It's not that we don't respect you, it's just that.
32:46I'm just scared of this new supervisor.
32:49Supervisor? What supervisor?
32:51I didn't know Sri Lankan girl.
32:52She didn't hire her.
32:54She was a big boy.
32:55She was in a dangerous place.
32:57Okay.
32:58I don't hang up with her.
33:14Hi, good evening. Are we checking in?
33:16Yes, we are.
33:17Great, what name is the reservation under?
33:19It should be under your name, mate.
33:21You got this, right? I'm going to go get some water.
33:23Okay.
33:24Hey, I saw on Yelp that you guys give a cookie when you check in.
33:28Can I get that now?
33:29Yeah.
33:31Yeah.
33:32Cool.
33:36Is that gluten free?
33:37Yes, it is.
33:39Okay, then I don't want it.
33:41Oh.
33:41Yeah.
33:42Okay.
33:43I'll be back.
33:46Okay.
33:46Yeah, sorry about that.
33:47Um, it's okay.
33:48Anyways, uh, the name should be under a first name Dismith, last name Dutta.
33:52Okay.
33:53Uh, how do you spell?
33:53D-U-T-T-A.
33:55Uh, yeah, sorry.
33:58I'm not seeing anything under that name.
33:59Could it be under anything else?
34:01Um, Dismith Swirled?
34:03Uh, yes.
34:06Okay, we do have that.
34:08Great.
34:08Great.
34:09Mr. Swirled.
34:10Yeah.
34:11Uh, just a government ID and credit card for incidentals.
34:13Cool.
34:18Okay.
34:20Oh.
34:21Okay.
34:22Uh, sorry, Mr. Dutta.
34:24Uh, yeah, the name on the ID actually has to match the name on the room.
34:27We're looking for Mr. Swirled.
34:29Yeah, that's just my stage name.
34:31Okay.
34:32But I would, I would still need an ID saying that though, sir.
34:35Yeah, but that's me.
34:37It's, I'm Mr. Swirled.
34:38It's literally me on the flyer.
34:45Oh, yeah.
34:46You look great on that.
34:47But, um, yeah, no, I, I still would need to see ID.
34:51It's policy.
34:52Seriously?
34:54Can we get a selfie, please?
34:57Sure.
35:04Sorry.
35:05I, I already bumped the rules on the cookie.
35:08Okay.
35:09Yo, Navi.
35:10Yeah.
35:10Can you call the organizers?
35:11They booked the room under the wrong name.
35:13Yeah, just check again, man.
35:14I'm sure they have, man.
35:15Bro, just do your job, please.
35:19What was you making me do this?
35:26What was you making me do this?
35:27Hello.
35:29Hello.
35:29Yeah, I need one of you guys to come down.
35:31Hello.
35:32I need one of you guys to come.
35:34These guys can't hear a goddamn thing, man.
35:36They sound drunk.
35:37They're partying or some shit.
35:38Here, get to me.
35:39Hello?
35:41Hey, uh, it's just me.
35:43Uh, just me?
35:45The guy that's emceeing?
35:46Your competition?
35:46Yo, yo, yo, yo, yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:48Bro, you gotta, you gotta get your ass to the mixer right now.
35:50It's so late right now, bro.
35:51Look, uh, we're at the front desk right now and you can't check in because the name is...
35:55Bro, oh shit, they're playing Roger Cha Cha.
35:57I'm a piano remix.
35:59Are you serious?
35:59He booked it under Mr. Swirl?
36:00Yeah.
36:02Sorry.
36:03But he could change his name, right?
36:05Legally?
36:06Hello?
36:09Hello?
36:09Hello?
36:10Hey.
36:11Hey?
36:14Hey?
36:17Hey?
36:19Hey.
36:22Hey.
36:27Hey!
36:29Hey!
36:29When is it Bob?
36:32Have you...
36:32Are you kidding me?
36:33Hey!
36:33Hey!
36:35Hey!
36:36Hey!
36:37What are you doing here? I haven't seen you since like sick camp days. This is wild. Don't you live
36:41in Jersey?
36:41Yeah, but I'm here to support my sister. She's competing. I was actually kind of hoping I'd bump into you.
36:46You've accomplished so much. I'm watching you from a distance like the little stalker that I am.
36:51Really? Okay. Um, full disclosure, your videos pop up on my feed like all the time.
36:57Wow. Really embarrassed.
36:59Yes, I am also a stalker. I know. Also, you go by Maya now?
37:03Yeah. Yeah. It's, uh, you know, just to make life easier. And, uh, also just to remind myself that everything
37:09in life is really an illusion.
37:10Yo, just me. Okay. Yo.
37:12All right. I'll see you. Okay.
37:15Hey, Ellen. They've got no rooms available. There's a motel like 30 minutes down the street. We've got vacancies.
37:20All right. Let me call the number.
37:22Wait, you guys don't have a place to crash? And you're hosting the competition?
37:26Yeah, there's some sort of name mix-up and the organizers are all drunk, so.
37:31Well, hey, why don't you take my room?
37:33I'll crash with my sister.
37:35What? No. No, no, no. Don't be ridiculous, man.
37:37No, trust me. Just me. She would probably want that anyways, with how nervous she is.
37:42Uh, okay. Uh, yeah. Yeah, that'll be awesome. Thank you. Are you sure?
37:49I'm sure. I got you. I'll just get my stuff out of there and you're good to go.
37:53Thank you so much. You're a lifestreamer. Oh, my God.
37:55It's nice seeing you.
37:59Damn. I'm going to smash that happy chick away.
38:04What? Manager's got to eat, too, bro.
38:06Dude, I kissed the hotel girl.
38:10Really? What does she taste like?
38:12She tastes like hotel.
38:13Okay, let's go. Get your bags, man. Let's go.
38:16Hotel? What does hotel taste like?
38:21Heading out?
38:22Yeah. And hey, thank you so much for letting me use your office.
38:25Sorry I was here all day. I just, I got so much work done. Not just therapy.
38:30Take it.
38:31What?
38:32Take the space. It's yours. Whenever you need it.
38:35Design work, therapy, 16 Chapel, the ceiling. I don't care. Whatever. Free of charge.
38:4116 Chapel, Sonny.
38:43What?
38:44And that's really nice, but why?
38:45Dude, today's been one of the most productive days here in a minute.
38:49Your presence, it's like, it's keeping my guys in line.
38:52You picked that shit up from your dad?
38:54Oh, yeah. You know how many of my dad's scary-ass trucker buddies that used to get to buy me
38:58candy as a kid?
38:59That was cute. Terrifying, but cute.
39:01I mean, just keep acting like the supervisor, and everything the light touches is yours.
39:07Okay. Sure.
39:15Not only does Gua Sha increase your blood circulation, which makes you look more alive and awake,
39:20but if you add healing stones, this adds an extra healing component.
39:24Now, this specific Gua Sha is infused with tetrahertz.
39:28I'd like to go ahead and thank Jade Baby for sending me this beautiful Gua Sha,
39:31and use my code MAYA15 for 15% off.
39:41Hi, Jasmid. How are we doing? Feeling good?
39:44No, we're not happy. I'll take care of this, man.
39:47What the fuck was up with last night?
39:49You had us waiting in the fucking lobby, man?
39:51And you out getting fucking drunk?
39:53I'm sorry. I did the parties that we were at.
39:56Yo, you really thought his last name was Swirled?
39:59Fuck! Come on, man!
40:00No, I booked it while I was studying for my chem intern. So sorry.
40:04Sorry's not good enough, Dr. Saab.
40:05And look at this green room. It's not private, and it's fucking bare, man!
40:09We have chips and water.
40:11What is this, a grade 5 birthday party, bro?
40:14What more do you want, dude?
40:15Like, get us some fucking steak, some kebabs, some sushi, some bottles of fucking Ciroc, some crown.
40:21I don't know if I can get all that in time.
40:22No, no, no. You will. Otherwise, we're not doing the show.
40:26Jasmid is an icon, kid. How's the fucking respect?
40:29Okay, I'll get right on it.
40:33Yeah, that's right. Can you believe this fucking guy?
40:36Was all that necessary? He was like some vegeta college kid.
40:39You can't keep lowering their standards, man.
40:41They'll never respect you if you let them keep getting away with this.
40:45I'm asking for Ciroc bottles in the middle of the day.
40:48Yo, manager's got to eat, too.
40:50Plus, it'll help you get over your pre-show jitters. You know what I mean?
40:54Damn.
40:55Jasmid is an icon.
40:58All right. Good luck, guys.
41:03Bro, it's a full house. There's got to be like 100 people out there.
41:08This is a 1,400-seat theater, bro.
41:12I don't have my glasses.
41:13Okay.
41:13Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the massive internet sensation and one of the funniest voices of our generation, the heartthrob
41:22himself.
41:23Give it up for...
41:26FRIEND!
41:27Hey, y'all. Congrats for 25 years of the North American, South Asian talent competition.
41:34I mean, that's unbelievably huge.
41:36And I would have loved to be there in person to celebrate this milestone with you guys.
41:39But your boy is guest-judging the mass singer this week.
41:43I know.
41:44And I'm still hosting popular competitions.
41:46But just get out there and do your job, bro. Just focus.
41:50Love you all. Make sure you kill it.
41:52And you know what they say?
41:53Graham means love.
41:54Graham out.
41:57All right. Now give it up for our host of the night, Jazby Tuta.
42:03All right.
42:04Woo!
42:05Yes!
42:06Give it up for me.
42:07That idiot that came out way too early.
42:09Oh, my God.
42:10The way he lasted successful internet, God, it's not as hot as air.
42:15I'm here with you tonight.
42:17Isn't that fun?
42:18You excited?
42:21Oh, man.
42:22I just ran into one of the Funkin' Up Team's backstage.
42:26We've got to talk about your names.
42:27First of all, they're way too long.
42:29Okay, the team I ran backstage,
42:30Soné Gabru, Mitre Punjab, Nachade, Hassade, Tapade, Jawani Sheradi, Toronto Division.
42:37Like, that's way too long, okay?
42:39You don't have to put some words, jumpy dictionary into your names.
42:43You're all right, man? You seem stressed.
42:46Sinanis, bro, is always freaking tripping, man.
42:49Well, as a recent survivor of an unconscious uncoupling,
42:53I can tell that you're brushing me off because you're avoiding your emotions.
42:57But I'm here for you, man.
42:59Bro, look, go and take some pictures, man.
43:02Aren't you the social media guy?
43:04I don't even have my phone.
43:05What the fuck is wrong with you, man?
43:07Well, I've got to take this phone call, man.
43:09Just, God, I got you.
43:13I got the music, man.
43:15It's an interesting pocket, man.
43:16It feels like we've just now entered our 2000s era.
43:20We're still, like, 20, 25 years behind.
43:22I mean, everybody's wearing baggy jeans now.
43:25They've got blue track suits.
43:27Jenny's walking around in a pink fur coat.
43:29Like, bro, you're not camera.
43:31You know what I mean?
43:33Honestly, the only thing we're missing is John Rule,
43:36the real John Rule, not Dr. Seuss's blue leg John Rule.
43:38I hope he's doing well wherever he is.
43:40But the real John Rule, not going to track it,
43:42just being like,
43:43me, I don't care, murder.
43:45That's the only thing.
43:47But we're going to have fun regardless.
43:49So let's give it up for our first team.
43:51I'm not saying their name.
43:52We're going to talk about this.
43:53Put your hands together.
43:55Let's do it.
43:56Woo!
44:01Build it.
44:14What is this guy?
44:15Who's on his phone?
44:16He must be using so much data.
44:18He's using my hotspot.
44:35Yo, shout out to my boy Jesse for killing it tonight
44:40And all you sexy fucking girls
44:43I fucking love Funderna competition
44:47Shots baby
44:52Yeah, shots
44:54Can you tell your manager to be careful
44:56The deposit in this room is really steep
44:59Shots
45:00Yo, it's my wife
45:05Hey, everybody shut the fuck up
45:08Hey, babe
45:10Yeah, no, I'm here with the boys
45:13We're just about to go to sleep
45:16No, there's no one in the room
45:18Yo, shut the fuck up
45:22Yeah, no, I didn't put it on mute
45:25What are you talking about?
45:27Hey, let me go to a better area, okay?
45:30Yo, man, take care of the girls, okay?
45:33Yeah, yo, why are you always tripping?
45:35Like, seriously
45:40It's tripping
45:42All right, I'm going to take care of the girls
45:45Hello?
45:47Uh, hi, do any women here need water?
45:51No?
45:52Just let me know if any of the guys are acting aggressive or inappropriate
45:58I'm here
45:59Yo, how'd it go?
46:01Uh, I don't know, man
46:02I just feel like I'm on autopilot at these things
46:03So then why do you still do them?
46:05So nobody can get away from his wife for the weekend?
46:07Like, what else am I supposed to do?
46:08Put yourself in new places, you know?
46:11Sometimes
46:12You might find a creative spark in the random spots
46:15Yeah, I guess you're right
46:17Oh, dude
46:18Guess who I ran into?
46:20Who?
46:20My first kiss
46:22Where?
46:23At the competition
46:24Isn't that crazy?
46:25Man, I think she might be single
46:26So what are you doing?
46:27Still talking to me, loser?
46:28Go, find out
46:29All right, I'm going to get out of this black-ass office party
46:31I'll talk to you later, eh?
46:32Peace
46:34Okay, bye
46:37Shit!
46:38I might just have to make official uniforms for my guys
46:41These designs are sick
46:42Yeah?
46:42Thanks, honey
46:43Okay, well, look
46:43I'll send you an invoice to get the work started
46:45Yo, I give this girl a free office
46:48And somehow I'm getting charged?
46:50Is that what you're learning in therapy?
46:51Some reverse psychology shit?
46:53I like this
47:11Sometimes I feel like my wife fucking hates me
47:13Like, I just want to live and enjoy life
47:16I probably don't even love her anymore
47:18She probably doesn't even love me
47:20We were never fucking compatible
47:22I am so proud of you for opening up to me
47:27We stayed together because of the kids
47:28That's the way I was raised
47:30You know, divorce
47:32You feel me?
47:33I feel so trapped, man
47:35So alone
47:36Yeah
47:37Yeah
47:38This is a huge first step
47:42Okay?
47:43You can't heal what you can't name
47:45Fuck
47:46Fuck
47:47You're so chill
47:48Whatever, man
47:49Like, thank you, bro
47:50Here
47:53One sec, one sec, man
47:54Hey!
47:55Get the fuck out!
47:57He's having a breakthrough, man
48:01Hey
48:03I love you
48:06Don't say that, man
48:07I barely know you
48:20Wow!
48:21Look who it is!
48:22Hiding out from your rabbit pants?
48:24Uh, I'll just take a little break
48:26Enjoy the view
48:27Mmm
48:29So, how did you like it?
48:31It was good
48:31It was good
48:32Your, um, auntie jokes were, uh, so fresh
48:34Oh, my God
48:35I'm not even gonna torture me, you know?
48:39Hey, um, can I be honest with you?
48:42Sure
48:43I feel like you have
48:45Funnier stuff you could be doing
48:47Wow
48:48Yeah, no, you're right
48:49But
48:50It's just
48:51It's in the right crowd
48:52Okay
48:53Well, when you find the right crowd
48:54Let me know
48:55I'll come watch
48:57You're gonna come all the way up to Toronto
48:58Yeah
48:59Really?
49:00Yeah
49:01You know, Toronto's actually next on my list
49:04Okay
49:05Well
49:06If you
49:07Ever need a place to crash
49:09I can return the favor
49:11Oh, okay
49:12Well, I might actually take you up on that
49:15Okay
49:19That reminds me of when we, uh
49:21Snack out to watch the stars that night
49:24Oh, my God
49:25Wow
49:25That was crazy
49:28Yeah
49:28You know
49:30That was actually my first kiss
49:33Mine too
49:34Really?
49:35Yeah
49:37Hmm
49:38Also, I
49:40Totally didn't apologize for how much spit
49:42And slobber
49:43And much wool
49:44I got all over your face
49:45So
49:45I was new at it
49:46Actually
49:46All good
49:47And I'm way better now
49:48Oh
49:49Yeah
49:50Hmm
49:51Well, I'll be the judge of that
49:54Yeah
49:54Mm-hmm
49:55Mm-hmm
50:11Well, it's like, uh, 10% less wet
50:18Okay
50:19That's an improvement
50:19Maybe if I keep practicing
50:21I'll, uh, I'll get there
50:22Oh, you wanna keep practicing?
50:23Yeah, practice is perfect
50:24Oh
50:26Yeah
50:27It's the only way to perfection
50:30You're right
50:30Oh
50:32Yeah
50:33Yeah
50:34Okay
50:36Oh
50:38You're right
50:39You're right
50:39My die
50:40You
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