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Boy Band Confidential S01E01 (2026)

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00:00:02Amazing Grace, how sweet the sun.
00:00:16You guys ready for it?
00:00:18The Backstreet Boys are back.
00:00:19We're the phone.
00:00:2098 degrees.
00:00:23That's it.
00:00:24Take a back seat, Backstreet Boys.
00:00:27Your rivals NSYNC now hold the record for album sales.
00:00:3030 years ago, they made fun of the word boy band.
00:00:34It's now a badge of honor.
00:00:38A wretch like me.
00:00:49I know it has been a difficult time for you, AJ.
00:00:53It was a horrible experience for me.
00:00:54It's a cutthroat business.
00:00:55Crazy.
00:00:56This is a scam.
00:00:58This is the first time I'm talking about it this openly.
00:01:01The people that we thought had our backs really didn't have them.
00:01:05I once was lost.
00:01:13But now...
00:01:15I worry just how long their fame and their money will last.
00:01:20Am found...
00:01:21I was victimized.
00:01:22Was blind.
00:01:25He was propositioning to these young performers, including me.
00:01:29Has been arrested.
00:01:30He too was assaulted.
00:01:32We had nobody except each other.
00:01:35If I had the chance to do it all over again and end up where I am...
00:01:40Would I do it?
00:01:41But now I see...
00:01:48But now I see...
00:01:48But now I see...
00:01:51But now I see...
00:02:34I see...
00:02:37I see...
00:02:37I see...
00:02:39I see...
00:02:39I see...
00:02:54How many years have passed?
00:02:56Oh gosh.
00:02:57Well over 20 years.
00:02:59Definitely a lot has changed.
00:03:04Here's actually kind of funny.
00:03:05There's a photo.
00:03:06Oh, there it is right there.
00:03:06You can see right there.
00:03:07This was literally here.
00:03:09This was this shot.
00:03:09We're standing there in the alleyway and shooting us there.
00:03:13But hilarious enough, look at the big ass TV and now it's a flat screen.
00:03:16Like look at just even just...
00:03:17Just even simple little things like that.
00:03:19I don't know why.
00:03:20It's kind of funny to me.
00:03:22My name is Joey Fatone.
00:03:24I was in a group called NSYNC.
00:03:28Once we became a group, we were doing a stadium tour.
00:03:3460,000, 70,000 people screaming at you.
00:03:38For the five of us, being able to be that successful doesn't happen very, very often.
00:03:48Yep.
00:03:49Too many memories in here.
00:03:51Too many times sweating our asses off.
00:03:57Too many times doing the same song over and over and over and over and over and over.
00:04:08You can't deny that if it wasn't for NSYNC, Justin Timberlake wouldn't be the way he is right now.
00:04:14Wouldn't be doing Broadway, to hosting TV shows, to doing films.
00:04:21The Deadpool movie used our hit for their open.
00:04:25Now it's a younger generation.
00:04:27They are learning about NSYNC, which is pretty cool.
00:04:30It's such an amazing experience to be able to go through this life.
00:04:33But when we started, we were young.
00:04:35Justin was 14 years old.
00:04:37I was, what, 17, 18?
00:04:39I just graduated high school.
00:04:40Legit.
00:04:42Now we couldn't grasp everything that was happening around.
00:04:44But now as we get older, you look at life differently.
00:04:48And you realize the industry can be wonderful and can be cool at the same time.
00:04:53Would there ever be a reunion still?
00:04:55I mean, there's always a possibility, of course.
00:04:58Now many of our fans don't know the challenges that we faced.
00:05:00But throughout my career, I met other performers from different groups
00:05:04and started to realize that all these other boy bands had similar experiences
00:05:08that they kept quiet about.
00:05:10And it's time we finally shared their stories.
00:05:34What's up, dude?
00:05:34So how are we feeling about the shoot so far?
00:05:38Well, it's funny because I was up very early.
00:05:40So Joey and I have been talking probably for the past six to eight months about
00:05:45what stories have people not heard?
00:05:48See, we're in entertainment, right?
00:05:50So our job is to portray and to sell not only a fantasy, but entertain.
00:05:57Well, in the boy band, there is a side that's not so glamorous.
00:06:01There is a side that's not so sexy.
00:06:05If you're a human being, you struggle.
00:06:07Everybody struggles.
00:06:08It's just magnified when you're in a boy band.
00:06:13I forgot there's like four or five people I think we're going to get in L.A. next week.
00:06:18And then it's going to be Jeff Timmons at some point.
00:06:21What up?
00:06:23Speaking of the devil.
00:06:25Who else has done it so far?
00:06:27We're getting A.J. in L.A.
00:06:29I just want to say hi to you.
00:06:30We're getting, I think, Nick in L.A.
00:06:33What's up, brother?
00:06:34Juan.
00:06:35Okay, speaking.
00:06:37Sean.
00:06:38Jeff Timmons.
00:06:39It's one of those things I love to hear other sides of the story.
00:06:43Basically, it's them kind of going through and the kind of troughs and tribulations.
00:06:47We've never had the conversation of just going, how did it feel?
00:06:50What happened?
00:06:51Because not many people got to experience something like this.
00:06:54Nick Lachey, take one.
00:06:57Eric Estrada, take one.
00:06:59It's kind of long overdue.
00:07:00We've had a bunch of these and we haven't really told this angle.
00:07:07All right, all righty, easy peasy.
00:07:13These are our billboard awards from 1999.
00:07:16We got four of these.
00:07:18For years, I didn't have any of my awards out in my house because I don't even think I deserve
00:07:22this.
00:07:27AJ is a character in a band.
00:07:30Alex is who I am.
00:07:35Born Alexander McLean, a nerdy kid from Palm Beach, Florida, that had a huffy bike, played piano, loved games, loved
00:07:43comic books, but more than anything loved to perform and sing and dance.
00:07:48There was an amazing theater called the Royal Palm Dinner Theater.
00:07:52One of the first roles that I got was in Snow White.
00:07:57They cast me as Dopey because Dopey was a mute.
00:08:02And I had a speech impediment when I was growing up.
00:08:05I had two actually.
00:08:06I had a stutter and a lisp.
00:08:08Of course I get to be the character that doesn't have to say anything.
00:08:12I stole the show.
00:08:17But I think a negative side of that applause is how you would perceive it.
00:08:24Why are they clapping for me?
00:08:25Do I deserve that applause?
00:08:27I didn't do anything special.
00:08:30If I were you, I'd be booing me.
00:08:33Growing up in South Florida, most boys especially would look at you like, why are you not into sports or
00:08:41video games?
00:08:41Yeah, I would get picked on a lot.
00:08:43I got bullied a lot.
00:08:44And it really started to kind of tear me down inside.
00:08:49I definitely struggled with self-esteem my whole life.
00:08:56But I had this ability to perform and acting to bring people joy.
00:09:05I have to do these things to get people to like me.
00:09:10If you look at most of the guys in that era, a lot of the reason why we choose music
00:09:15is this way to communicate and almost like, it's a call for help.
00:09:26I was probably like 10 or 11 years old, a little bit older than that.
00:09:29Out comes new kids on the block.
00:09:31We were living in Brooklyn, New York.
00:09:33And I remember this girl, this friend of mine, her name was Deborah.
00:09:36And I used to go to her house and watch all the VHS tapes.
00:09:42Because I didn't want anybody to know, you know, you don't watch a boy band.
00:09:46That's for girls.
00:09:47That's for guys.
00:09:48That's sissy stuff is what they would say.
00:09:50And I was like, I don't know what you're talking about.
00:09:51I'm like, I'm enjoying the performances.
00:09:54I love the songs.
00:09:55But on top of that, look at how many people are in this arena.
00:10:01Like they're performing in arenas right now at that time.
00:10:03And it's like, I would love to do something like that.
00:10:06It was groups like that.
00:10:08New Kids or Boyz II Men that we looked up to and showed us what was possible.
00:10:19New Kids on the Block is definitely the OG boy band.
00:10:22They were a worldwide phenomenon that started in the late 80s.
00:10:26Sold over 80 million records worldwide.
00:10:29You can never be, you know, fed up with getting awards and being successful
00:10:34and having millions of people, you know, want to buy your records.
00:10:37I was a tour manager for New Kids on the Block.
00:10:39And they, from a personality performance level, can't be beat.
00:10:44Even to this day, I don't care what anybody says.
00:10:47But then when New Kids on the Block decided after four and a half years
00:10:50that they were burnt out.
00:10:51So they wanted to take a break.
00:10:53And that's kind of when Boyz II Men started coming out.
00:10:57Yes, there is a distinction between singer groups and boy bands.
00:11:00But unfortunately, the experiences are very similar.
00:11:03But when I hear people having a lot to say about the group
00:11:09and not really understanding what we had to go through,
00:11:12I personally tell them to off.
00:11:15Because you don't know.
00:11:17You have no idea, nor will you ever know.
00:11:24We weren't a group that was put together.
00:11:28You know, music put us together.
00:11:29We all lived in, you know, four different places in Philadelphia.
00:11:34My mom had me when she was 19.
00:11:36My dad was 18.
00:11:37So, you know, they was kids.
00:11:40I met up with my dad later on when I was eight years old.
00:11:45You know, I lived in the projects.
00:11:47My mom wasn't in the best way at the time.
00:11:49And my grandmother took me to the trolley stop.
00:11:53She said, I'm going to show you how to do this.
00:11:56She said, get on the trolley.
00:11:57You sit right by the door.
00:11:59If anything happens, I need to be able to run straight off.
00:12:03The hood is the hood.
00:12:04You know what I'm saying?
00:12:05Somebody come on that joint and they want the money change thing.
00:12:10You know, they stick up the trolley.
00:12:15It was scary because I would come home and it'd be some crazy stuff.
00:12:20I'm talking about coming home and laying in my bed.
00:12:25Lift up the mattress.
00:12:26It's like sawed off shotguns.
00:12:28Freaking nine millimeters.
00:12:30And guess what I did?
00:12:32Went to sleep.
00:12:33You feel me?
00:12:35That's what it was.
00:12:37So I had to leave.
00:12:41And once I remember sitting on a bed when I just start crying.
00:12:47Crying.
00:12:48And I was praying.
00:12:49I just said, I just want to be a star.
00:12:52And I kept crying it.
00:12:54I want to be a star.
00:12:54I want to be a star.
00:12:57Now the crazy thing is when you become a star.
00:13:01You didn't tell me that it comes with a lie.
00:13:10I wasn't prepared for loss.
00:13:17And that loss changed the trajectory of everything.
00:13:27Growing up, fame the TV show with Leroy and Coco and all of the dancers.
00:13:34And it was just this school that was amazing.
00:13:36I'm like, really?
00:13:37It would be awesome if there was a school like that, right?
00:13:40In eighth grade, high schools, they start coming to your schools to, you know, solicit you to another place.
00:13:47So I was sitting there and another school came.
00:13:51And the next thing you know, they put their thing on the screen.
00:13:56They showed Leroy and Coco.
00:13:58And they said, you might know this school from blah, blah.
00:14:02And I was like, fame.
00:14:04You know what I'm saying?
00:14:04I lost my mind.
00:14:06You know what I mean?
00:14:06I want to go to fame.
00:14:11CAPA is an acronym for creative and performing arts.
00:14:15So if it's anything like the TV show, I need to go.
00:14:18And that's where I met the other guys in the group called Boyz II Men.
00:14:23When we first started, I was around 15.
00:14:27Nate, Mike, Mark were 16, 17.
00:14:30And Wanye was like 14.
00:14:34What people don't have to realize is we rehearsed every day for nothing.
00:14:42Nothing!
00:14:43We had nothing.
00:14:44We just went and sang for nothing.
00:14:49It wasn't until we graduated that we snuck backstage to a Will Smith concert.
00:14:55And that's when we met Michael Bivens.
00:14:58Michael Bivens is an artist from the group Bell Biv DeVoe.
00:15:01He was one of the original members of New Edition.
00:15:04They sang for Bivens.
00:15:06And he winds up becoming their manager.
00:15:0989 is when the group was formed.
00:15:1290 is when we got signed.
00:15:1491 we came out.
00:15:17Well, I'll tell you, these guys are hot.
00:15:19Everybody loves them.
00:15:20Women go crazy for them.
00:15:21And they're all single.
00:15:22They can harmonize, good singers.
00:15:25Much talent.
00:15:25They're the best. They really are.
00:15:27Boys to Men, they're the R&B kings.
00:15:29They're cool.
00:15:30That's one of the groups that we looked up to, that we strive to be like.
00:15:34I was at a performing arts school in Cincinnati, and we had an acapella group.
00:15:38And so we very quickly started to cover Boys to Men.
00:15:42There was something about the way that sounded that was on a whole other level than anything I had ever
00:15:47heard arranged or performed in my entire life.
00:15:50Michael Bivens pushed for us to get on tour.
00:15:53So we were the opening act for MC Hammer.
00:15:56Of course, we don't know what it entails.
00:15:59You know, we just said, oh goodness, we're going on tour.
00:16:01You know?
00:16:01This is amazing.
00:16:02MC Hammer, wow.
00:16:03You know?
00:16:04When it came time for us to actually go on tour, Michael Bivens was putting personnel together.
00:16:09And he introduced us to Khalil during the rehearsal.
00:16:13And, you know, big early guy.
00:16:14He used to wear these big gold rings with diamonds on it, this big chain.
00:16:20Khalil Roundtree was our role manager, making sure that travel is taken care of, hotels, making sure we eat.
00:16:28The role manager takes care of all of that.
00:16:31So he was that and then some.
00:16:34He was also our security.
00:16:37So when it came time for Khalil to role manage us, he needed help.
00:16:43So we called his best friend.
00:16:45Well, Khalil, we grew up a block apart from each other.
00:16:47And we was in, you know, elementary school together.
00:16:51And he was a big gentleman.
00:16:53And I was small and we just connected.
00:16:56Like he was a gentle giant.
00:16:58And he was loyal.
00:17:01He knew what it all entailed and he wanted us to be safe and he protected us, hook or crook.
00:17:06Do it all.
00:17:07No matter what.
00:17:08If we had to run, we had to run.
00:17:10If we had to crawl, we had to crawl.
00:17:11But he was right there with us, showing us how.
00:17:14But those things that you run from in life, they are always going to rear their heads.
00:17:24It's May 1992.
00:17:26We're on a Too Legit To Quit tour.
00:17:28And we were in Chicago, Illinois.
00:17:31I was actually in my girlfriend's room at the Doubletree.
00:17:36She was one of MC Hammer's dancers.
00:17:39And we were kicking it, having fun.
00:17:41And I heard like a loud door shut.
00:17:48Sean's girlfriend comes in the room and she says,
00:17:53Kyle Hill's dead.
00:17:59There was a lot of press and a lot of news about this.
00:18:04But people don't know what we went through or how we went through things.
00:18:09I get a phone call in my hotel room.
00:18:12And it was Wanya and he was like, yo, I need you to come somewhere with me.
00:18:16Something happened to Kyle Hill.
00:18:18And we went up to Kyle Hill's room.
00:18:21When we got there, it was like CSI investigators.
00:18:25They pulled us in the room and sat us down.
00:18:29The police officer said there was people in the hotel.
00:18:33They were looking for the party because MC Hammer was at the hotel.
00:18:37So they were knocking on doors.
00:18:38Kyle Hill would leave his hotel door open just to kind of keep an ear on everything.
00:18:45Kyle Hill's door was open.
00:18:46So instead of knocking, the two of them kind of like pushed their way in.
00:18:53And they saw him counting the tour money.
00:18:58So the one guy barges in.
00:19:02Kyle Hill was like, these in my room.
00:19:05He walks out.
00:19:06So then he's like, shit, they seen the money.
00:19:08He knows the guys are here.
00:19:10Let me handle this.
00:19:11You know, he called Quadri.
00:19:13So he was like, these trying to get in my room.
00:19:16So he's like, yo, come.
00:19:17We're going to get them out the hallway.
00:19:19Because if they go knock on one of these stupid rooms.
00:19:22Talking about us.
00:19:23They going to open the door.
00:19:24We can't hear that.
00:19:27So Kyle Hill and Quadri grabbed him.
00:19:32So I said, man, let's just take him downstairs and get rid of him.
00:19:38And one of the guys had a gun.
00:19:40Bow, bow, bow.
00:19:44I got shot.
00:19:46I felt one, two, three.
00:19:50One of the guys shot Kyle Hill in the head.
00:19:53And they left.
00:19:59I was in a state of shock.
00:20:01And I come out the elevator.
00:20:03And I said, my friend, he's in the elevator.
00:20:04He's right there.
00:20:05He's dead.
00:20:05He's in the elevator.
00:20:06He's dead.
00:20:06And I couldn't stop saying it.
00:20:07And then I fainted.
00:20:13I've never experienced anything like that in my life.
00:20:16Someone that close to me getting killed in such a close proximity.
00:20:32The guys that were banging on hotel doors, as they say, trying to find where the party was at.
00:20:38When in reality, I really think they were looking for us.
00:20:41And Kyle Hill knew that.
00:20:43Because that happened to us.
00:20:44We've had people sneak into our dressing rooms and stuff like that.
00:20:48So he really was our protector.
00:20:52He was our shield from a lot of the mess that now we're exposed to.
00:20:59So now we have to grow up.
00:21:02We have to become boys to men.
00:21:04Is it difficult to adjust to the fame?
00:21:08It's not difficult because we help each other out, you know?
00:21:12Boys to men, they pull out of the tour.
00:21:14But they're back on the same tour a week later.
00:21:17And then they're back in the recording studio working on their next hit, End of the Road.
00:21:21This is our first number one single.
00:21:22It's unnatural.
00:21:24You belong to me.
00:21:26I can't let go.
00:21:29It spends 13 weeks at number one.
00:21:32And it becomes a massive hit.
00:21:35I'll make love to you.
00:21:36Another massive hit replaces End of the Road at the top of the singles chart.
00:21:43And they keep outdoing themselves one after the other.
00:21:47The success of boys to men paved the way for other groups to follow in their footsteps.
00:21:56However, there is a downside to that.
00:21:58Because they could grow up to boot you out from that spot at the top of the charts.
00:22:07Thanks to a lot of the groups that came before us, like the boys to men's,
00:22:11there was a door that had been reopened for male groups to come in.
00:22:16We could end up doing a deal with Atlantic Records.
00:22:20And then the funny thing is, Atlantic Records didn't want to put our picture on the cover.
00:22:25Because our group All For One, there's a white guy, there's a Mexican guy, and two black guys.
00:22:30And the music industry, even still to this day, is one of the most, like, segregated places still.
00:22:37We did the hit song, I Swear.
00:22:40They just start fire.
00:22:42Now here's the crazy story about I Swear.
00:22:44A lot of the black radio stations were not able to really play I Swear.
00:22:49It was like, you know, we have these folks here saying,
00:22:51well, you're not R&B enough, you're not black enough,
00:22:53you've got a white boy and a Mexican boy in your group.
00:22:56It wasn't the fans that segregated us or didn't accept us.
00:23:02It was more of the people who make business decisions.
00:23:06And it sucked. And sucks.
00:23:08Past and present.
00:23:12All right, so I went in my garage.
00:23:15And literally, these are bins in my garage.
00:23:17I don't even know half the stuff that's really in here.
00:23:18So we're just going to open up and kind of look at some old,
00:23:21there's probably NSYNC stuff in here, there's a bunch of other stuff in here.
00:23:23But out of the gate, looks like I can break in half.
00:23:26An NSYNC microphone, portable and cordless.
00:23:30All the dolls, Funko. We're vinyl pop guys.
00:23:35How many people have Barbie dolls?
00:23:37Well, this is Christine, and she's an NSYNC fan.
00:23:42If, hopefully, you know, your group does become popular,
00:23:45it becomes, I guess, a brand in some sort,
00:23:48because you're not only selling yourself per se,
00:23:51but you're selling the product, of course, which is the music.
00:23:53But sometimes it works the other way,
00:23:55where the label or manager starts with the brand that they want to sell,
00:23:58and it goes out looking for the individuals to fit that brand.
00:24:02That's when you hear criticism that boy bands are, in quote,
00:24:05manufactured, and nobody knows that better than Backstreet.
00:24:22When I was a kid, we left South Florida to move to Orlando
00:24:26to be closer to Nickelodeon and Disney,
00:24:29places that I could potentially work or get jobs.
00:24:32Where did you get it?
00:24:33From this guy.
00:24:34Hi, honey, I'm home.
00:24:36It's a show on Nickelodeon that ended up actually getting picked up by ABC, briefly.
00:24:41That was a lot of fun.
00:24:42It wasn't until this thing called the blue sheet was coming around in the mail,
00:24:47and it was basically like the classifieds for all the local entertainment.
00:24:50And on the final page, on the top of it said,
00:24:54local entrepreneur looking to put together a vocal group,
00:24:58a la New Kids on the Block meets Boyz II Men.
00:25:02And I looked at my mom, I was like,
00:25:06what do you think?
00:25:08Lou Pearlman held auditions for the Backstreet Boys,
00:25:11and people came out and auditioned for it.
00:25:14I was the first one to meet Lou.
00:25:18Went to his house, sang for him, and he signed me on the spot.
00:25:23And that was it.
00:25:23So I am the OG.
00:25:26I helped literally put the band together.
00:25:28At that point in time, I had a lot of friends saying to me,
00:25:31hey, this guy who owns all these blimps,
00:25:34he wants to meet you.
00:25:35And I'm like, who is he?
00:25:37His name was Lou Pearlman.
00:25:39I don't know, he's a rich guy.
00:25:40He owns the blimps.
00:25:41He drives around on Rolls Royce.
00:25:43So I decided to go meet him at an Italian restaurant.
00:25:47So when I walked in, I go into this private room,
00:25:50and there's this huge table set up for about 14 people.
00:25:53And the only person at the table was Lou.
00:25:55So it was some godfather moment, right?
00:25:58And then these five guys come in.
00:26:00Five boys.
00:26:01Kevin, Brian, Nick, AJ, and Howie.
00:26:04So I was like, what is going on with this?
00:26:06So anyways, these five guys come in singing,
00:26:09and they're singing a cappella.
00:26:10The hair on my arm stood up.
00:26:13Because their harmonies were perfection.
00:26:16And I remember looking across the table at Johnny
00:26:18and going, ching ching.
00:26:20It's called the Backstreet Boys, brand new group.
00:26:22What is your name?
00:26:23I'm AJ McLean.
00:26:24AJ McLean.
00:26:25Oh, God.
00:26:25That was our very first TV performance ever.
00:26:30The local news in Orlando.
00:26:33AJ was 14.
00:26:34He was the bad boy.
00:26:35Who are you?
00:26:36Howie D.
00:26:36Howie?
00:26:37Howie was the sweet friend.
00:26:39I'm from Lexington, Kentucky.
00:26:40My name's Brian Littrell.
00:26:41Brian was the All-American.
00:26:42I'm Kevin Richardson.
00:26:43Kevin and Brian were related.
00:26:46Kevin Richardson, kind of like the more mature daddy of the group.
00:26:51He was only 22 at the time, so that sounds weird.
00:26:55But now all the fans say that Kevin has daddy vibes.
00:26:58And Nick was the baby.
00:26:59Nick was 12 when I started working with him.
00:27:02I'm from Tampa, Florida, and I'm Nick Carter.
00:27:0412.
00:27:05Nick and AJ.
00:27:06They were the young ones.
00:27:08We're in the process of making an album right now.
00:27:09I mean, I was excited, because one of the many reasons, again, back to the beginning,
00:27:14why I got picked on, because I didn't really have any guy friends.
00:27:17All my friends were girls.
00:27:20Hi, how you doing?
00:27:22Luke Pearlman was a peculiar entrepreneur.
00:27:26He created this transportation company where he would charter blimps.
00:27:31It's not like this is a common thing for a blimp entrepreneur to just enter the music industry and start
00:27:37a boy band.
00:27:38This doesn't happen.
00:27:40But you do need a lot of business acumen to create a successful musical act.
00:27:45I always say there's a million artists here.
00:27:49These guys have the right marketing promotion and make it.
00:27:52Because they have the machine around them that helps get them to that.
00:27:56With the Backstreet Boys, Luke funded the label, Transcon Records.
00:28:01Luke built a studio so they could record in there.
00:28:04It was Luke's money.
00:28:06The business side of things is very important.
00:28:10Luke Pearlman's company, Transcon Records, was developing the Backstreet Boys to make them attractive.
00:28:15to a record label by acting like a manager or producer.
00:28:20Luke hires Johnny Wright as another manager to train them and book gigs.
00:28:24Luke enlists vocal coaches, music producers, and choreographers to create demos and music videos.
00:28:29There was an entire machine to break Backstreet Boys into the industry.
00:28:34And oftentimes these are things that an artist cannot afford on their own.
00:28:39So they rely on someone like Luke Pearlman to pay for things in the early stages that they will then
00:28:46pay them back for later on.
00:28:49The early days of Backstreet Boys, they got like a stipend every week.
00:28:53And then Lou put them all in a house together.
00:29:01It was a beautiful mansion.
00:29:03He had a covered pool.
00:29:06He had the house.
00:29:08He had the limousines.
00:29:10He had the planes.
00:29:13Fourteen-year-old, you're in this house with this guy who's got a gaggle of money.
00:29:18I'll never forget he had a Mexican Coke vending machine, glass bottle.
00:29:23It was the best shit in the world.
00:29:24And he's got like C-3PO statue and Darth Vader and a screen that comes out of the ceiling to
00:29:31watch movies.
00:29:32And you're like, this guy's cool.
00:29:33Well, he's like Tony Stark, except minus the tech.
00:29:36Definitely not as good looking as Tony Stark, let's just say that.
00:29:39He was like five Tony Starks in one.
00:29:41He gave gifts.
00:29:43He took them out to dinners.
00:29:44He was the one that funded everything.
00:29:46He drove them around in the limos.
00:29:48I never liked Luke Pearlman.
00:29:50Ever.
00:29:51And I had a vibe about him that I just didn't trust.
00:29:57You know, how you doing?
00:29:58Let's go get a steak.
00:29:59Always had pretty people around him.
00:30:03You had this guy who took three and a half million dollars, which he could have put in stock market,
00:30:09could have bought a piece of property and flipped it.
00:30:11He could have done other things that were more secure than putting it into your music career.
00:30:17It makes you start to second guess.
00:30:20Nobody really stopped to think, why?
00:30:29If you're coming from a household where a father isn't present, and you have a guy who hanging out with
00:30:35you, helping you and putting money in your pocket, you kind of gravitate to that person.
00:30:41That's what we call Mr. Big Papa.
00:30:44Big Papa Lou.
00:30:44Big Papa Lou.
00:30:45Big Papa Lou.
00:30:45That was the nickname they gave him.
00:30:47Big Papa.
00:30:49Big Papa Lou.
00:30:50I mean, it was just like parental figure slash like best friend kind of relationship for me.
00:30:59I grew up being raised by my mom and my grandparents.
00:31:03When I was two, my parents divorced.
00:31:06So after my parents split up, my dad picked me up when I was about eight, to go see my
00:31:12nana, which was his mom for her birthday.
00:31:15That was the last time I saw him.
00:31:17Until I was 17.
00:31:18scene. In that moment, in that time, some of the boys looked up to Lou. Kevin had lost
00:31:25his father. Unfortunately, before we started, the Axe Street Boys passed away when he was
00:31:3019 from cancer. He immediately kind of had that relationship with Lou, where he did look
00:31:37up to him like a father figure.
00:31:42Then there was a problem. We thought this record, we got it going on, was going to be
00:31:47a smash. It's a single that we tried to promote in the U.S. and nobody wanted to play it.
00:31:52Music had gone more rock and grunge, so there was no room for a boy band. Everybody poo-pooed
00:31:58on it. Let me tell you, let me give you the tea. At that point, we're feeling somewhat accomplished.
00:32:06We've won a Grammy. We've won an American Music Award. We've been touring the world. We've been
00:32:10releasing songs and having success. And one day, we got this young group called the
00:32:17Backstreet Boys. They wanted to see what a tour bus looked like. We invited them on our
00:32:21tour bus in Orlando. We're talking to them and trying to give them advice, you know, and
00:32:26they were really cool kids then. And like, there is no competitions because at the end
00:32:30of the day, the thing that matters first and foremost is hit records because there's a lot
00:32:37of talented people and you can sing their faces off. What's the difference between them
00:32:41and us? Hit records, right?
00:32:47Nobody wanted to play the Backstreet Boys in the United States. So, me being involved
00:32:52with other bands who played all over Europe and the world and keeping my Rolodex of different
00:32:58people that I met along the way, we had booked the Backstreet Boys to play in Germany.
00:33:03I'll never make you cry. I'll never die. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
00:33:09Thank you, thank you, thank you.
00:33:10Let it win out. You, I'll give you all the...
00:33:14One more time. Come on.
00:33:15And you could see the girls in the audience's mouths drop and the place went crazy.
00:33:25And even without social media, just to spread a word of mouth, like these guys from America
00:33:30or something, and then that's when it kicked off for us.
00:33:33Love you, Backstreet Boys!
00:33:35Their single went to number one in like eight weeks, and then it was on.
00:33:40I think they're really great. They can sing, and they look good.
00:33:44First of all, it is an amazing thing. To have the ability to bring so much joy and happiness
00:33:49to people you may never know on a personal level, around the world, through music,
00:33:57through performance, is a blessing.
00:33:59They did all the TV shows.
00:34:01Hello. With the Backstreet Boys.
00:34:03Nick, you are the biggest, uh, womanizer.
00:34:06But now I heard, every girl was screaming like, Nick, Nick, Nick!
00:34:11We were playing 30,000 seat stadiums.
00:34:14So now they're blowing up.
00:34:16And now our record label is saying, oh, y'all need to be like them.
00:34:22So I'm like, well, we were out before they were, and why can't there be enough room and space for
00:34:28them to be them?
00:34:29They have their lane, and they're killing it in their lane, and we have our lane and the fan base,
00:34:33and we're killing it in our lane.
00:34:36I think it makes you question your talent.
00:34:40Because it's like, you must think that I'm not good enough to be me if you're telling me I need
00:34:46to be him.
00:34:51My name is Jeff Timmons. I am the founding member of a group called 98 Degrees.
00:34:55Our path was dramatically different than Backstreet and Boyz II Men's path, and all for one.
00:35:02I mean, we would have much preferred to have this monster behemoth label pushed behind us, but we didn't have
00:35:08it.
00:35:08We were four kids from Ohio.
00:35:10We moved to North Hollywood the summer of 95, and really, for us, it was all about all those old
00:35:16-school ways of just trying to get out there.
00:35:18We had a motorhome wrapped with our picture, and we would do a show, and I would drive for six
00:35:25hours to the next city.
00:35:27We'd go to Kinko's. We'd print out our flyers.
00:35:30We're going up and down the beach, just handing out flyers to girls on the beach.
00:35:33Like, all right, how else are we going to get noticed?
00:35:34We literally put the hat down, and you sing for money and for food.
00:35:39Show up on a street corner, just sing.
00:35:41We go to Taco Bell, sing.
00:35:43We go to Fatburger, sing.
00:35:44Can we get a free burger?
00:35:45We scrapped and clawed our way to stay afloat, and then we thought, eventually, we're going to meet someone in
00:35:51L.A.
00:35:52who's going to know somebody, who's going to know somebody, and this is going to get us somewhere.
00:36:00I had a friend who was a performer in Germany, and she's like, there's this group over here that's just
00:36:07blowing up called the Backstreet Boys.
00:36:09And they had not yet broken here in the U.S. Similar group, much more polished.
00:36:14And I remember us going, this is where we're going.
00:36:16If we stick with it, we're going to get more of this.
00:36:18Now we just got to practice, and now we just need the opportunity.
00:36:251995, we had the single with Mariah, One Sweet Day.
00:36:31It was sweeping. It was emotional. It tugged at your heartstrings.
00:36:37You had these two juggernaut musical acts teaming up. I mean, it was magic.
00:36:44We were nominated for six Grammys, and Mariah was so sure, and we did not win one.
00:36:54We took a year off. It's just tired, bro. We were at each other's throats.
00:36:59We canceled the European tour.
00:37:03And we came home, bro, and nobody was feeling us.
00:37:08Like, people were done with us and with our era of music, and it shifted to the boy bands.
00:37:19And they looked nothing like us.
00:37:22Motown Records, our label in particular, made it painfully obvious that they were done.
00:37:27They were done with us. And the pendulum has shifted.
00:37:30That's right. This song right here, the reason we're doing is because we want to pay tribute to Motown.
00:37:35We signed to Motown Records.
00:37:37And for those of you who don't know, it's a legendary record label that has such great artists like Stevie
00:37:43Wonder, Marvin Gaye, The Four Tops, The Temptation.
00:37:47And right now, it's got great artists like Boyd Timmons.
00:37:51Anybody like Boyd Timmons?
00:37:54I'd be lying if I didn't say, come on, this is insane.
00:37:58They were the first white band on a black label.
00:38:02They'd give us this song called Invisible Man.
00:38:05And it turns out it was submitted for Boyz II Men by a couple of writers in Vancouver, Canada.
00:38:09And the president of Motown heard it, and he said, no, I don't want this for Boyz II Men.
00:38:13I want 90 Degrees to take this record.
00:38:15This song is called Invisible Man.
00:38:17It's textbook.
00:38:18People do black music with white faces.
00:38:24Pat Boone, The Osmonds, Elvis, they were all doing black music.
00:38:30That is the truth, like, and it's a hard truth.
00:38:32It's no diss to 90 Degrees, NSYNC, Backstreet, any of those guys.
00:38:37Like, they were just kids trying to make it, too.
00:38:41I hate to say it just crass, but to the average white girl fan, the black groups, oh, I'd f***
00:38:54him.
00:38:56But the white groups, oh, I'd marry him.
00:39:01Justin Timberlake on my wall, it's more acceptable opposed to a couple of black guys.
00:39:07I can marry Justin.
00:39:09I can bring him to my house.
00:39:10He can have dinner with my family.
00:39:13It's a little harder to bring black ass Sean to rural Arkansas.
00:39:23It's a cutthroat business.
00:39:25They want the next hottest, biggest thing, or the next new act.
00:39:29They don't give two shits sometimes, record companies.
00:39:31And if they can be that cold-blooded to the biggest music sensation at the time,
00:39:35imagine the power they had over the new artist.
00:39:43The president of Motown, he wanted us to be the white Jodeci.
00:39:47So he was trying to give us that in a crash course.
00:39:50Hey, I want you guys to go to black churches in Harlem on Sundays.
00:39:53Let's dress these guys in Fugu and Fat Farm.
00:39:56I remember going on a train to Rochester, New York, to work with Devontae from Jodeci.
00:40:01And we show up, and Devontae is being fitted for a bulletproof vest in the studio.
00:40:08And I'm looking around, I'm like, do we need a bulletproof vest?
00:40:12What did we just walk into?
00:40:14It does make you question, well, why did you sign us if you didn't want us to be who we
00:40:18are?
00:40:19You're trying to make us into something else.
00:40:21You gotta remember, we're a new act. We're not making any money.
00:40:25We don't know what the plan is, and this is our shot.
00:40:28We'll try it. We'll try this. We'll go hang out at Bowery Bar with Russell.
00:40:32We'll do all these things. We'll do whatever we have to do.
00:40:36You go home, you're like, what am I? Who am I?
00:40:38It starts to really mess with you mentally.
00:40:43And for me, it caused a severe depression.
00:40:46But I felt like I was the weakest link in the group.
00:40:50Just didn't feel good about myself, didn't feel good physically.
00:40:53I could not sleep, and my head wasn't right.
00:40:56I felt so worthless, and just the fact that I could not handle all this pressure,
00:41:01that I was like, just end it.
00:41:06And I don't know, for whatever reason, I just thought, no, screw that.
00:41:10Like, just push one more time. Like, just try this last thing.
00:41:15I went to our manager, and I said, I need some help.
00:41:17If I don't get some sort of help, I will not be here.
00:41:20Like, this is over. And I mean seriously.
00:41:23So he found a psychiatrist for me to go to.
00:41:25He put me on this Atkins diet, put me on some medication.
00:41:29Within three months, I felt better than ever.
00:41:31And it didn't make this any easier, but at least I felt better.
00:41:37That I didn't want to die. You know? So.
00:41:42Thanks for sharing that.
00:41:43At the time, I kept hearing rumblings from the same people
00:41:47who had told me about Lou when I had my first meeting,
00:41:51that Lou had another boy band.
00:41:56And every time I would call Lou, I'd say,
00:41:58what's this I'm hearing about you?
00:41:59No, I don't have another boy band. No, I don't have another.
00:42:01I don't know what you're talking about. People are lying.
00:42:03There's another boy band out there, but I have nothing to do with them.
00:42:12All right, so I got some of my awards and stuff.
00:42:14I have a storage unit full of stuff.
00:42:17And I would love to have everything out in display if I could.
00:42:21I really would.
00:42:22Because it does mean a lot to me.
00:42:23It's my life. It's a lot of my career.
00:42:25It's all of my career, what I really started doing.
00:42:28This is what really started it all.
00:42:33Disney wanted to make Orlando Hollywood East at one point.
00:42:36You had all the theme parks that at that time had dancers, singers,
00:42:41all levels of performers.
00:42:44Back in the day, I was doing a Beetlejuice show at Universal.
00:42:47And I was in a group with this kid named Jason and two other friends of mine.
00:42:52And then I run into Chris, who actually worked at Universal.
00:42:57There's always speculations of how the group got together.
00:43:01People are going to say so many different things.
00:43:03But I will say, Lou told Chris, basically, I don't want to do an audition.
00:43:08Go out and find.
00:43:09And Chris did.
00:43:11Chris brought the guys together.
00:43:13Lou Perlman financially helped that.
00:43:16And Lynn Harless, which is Justin's mom, came up with the name NSYNC.
00:43:21Lynn was like, oh, y'all names.
00:43:23Last letter of your first name spells NSYNC.
00:43:25And you're like, what do you mean?
00:43:26It's like, well, you got N for Justin.
00:43:29You have S for Chris.
00:43:31C-H-R-I-S.
00:43:32So there's N-S-Y.
00:43:34You got Joey for the Y.
00:43:36So N-S-Y-N, which was Jason for the other N.
00:43:40And then JC for the C.
00:43:41So that was NSYNC.
00:43:42You're a funny guy.
00:43:44When we started, we were definitely boys.
00:43:47I mean, you had Justin, who was 14.
00:43:48And you had Chris, who was 23, 24 at the time.
00:43:51So it's a 10-year gap pretty much between them.
00:43:54Wow.
00:43:55Whose head look like this?
00:43:59So the five of us got together.
00:44:01We sang. Everything was great.
00:44:02We're going to sign with Transcontinental, which was Lou Perlman's independent record label.
00:44:06And all of a sudden, we go to sign.
00:44:08And then Jason doesn't show up.
00:44:10And we're like, what happened?
00:44:19Jason, that's the guy that quit NSYNC.
00:44:24He was a good friend of mine.
00:44:25And his dad was my chorus teacher in high school.
00:44:29What I want to do is sit with Jason and have a conversation and to hear his side of it.
00:44:35What's up?
00:44:36What's up?
00:44:37What up, dog?
00:44:38What up, dog?
00:44:40What up, dog?
00:44:42What's up, dog?
00:44:43What's up, dog?
00:44:43We're doing this whole documentary.
00:44:45That's why I have you.
00:44:45So obviously, people don't know.
00:44:47It's almost like, you know, the fifth Beatle or whatever the **** in that sense.
00:44:50But it's more or less, for us, it's getting the story across that no one's ever really heard before.
00:44:55Oh, hi.
00:44:58So the full story with NSYNC, I had no idea what was going to happen.
00:45:04And also, I was a stupid kid.
00:45:06I've never seen a music contract before.
00:45:08So I was smart enough back then to take the contracts to lawyers, to review them.
00:45:15And it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:45:18What, Lou's a member of the band now?
00:45:22For both the Backstreet Boys and NSYNC, there was a contract.
00:45:26And the way Lou always structured the companies was he was the 51% owner.
00:45:32But he was also one sixth member of the Backstreet Boys and NSYNC.
00:45:38So he got a sixth of their side of the 49.
00:45:42All I can say is, I'm so proud of these guys.
00:45:45There's a paragraph where it said, if they do an outside business while they're a member of the Backstreet Boys,
00:45:51management was still entitled to a commission.
00:45:54And Brian said, so you mean if I go and get a hot dog stand while I'm in this group,
00:45:59you guys get a piece of that?
00:46:01And we're like, yeah, because anything you're using your name for that we're helping you promote,
00:46:05that's going to bring goodwill into another business, we should get paid for it.
00:46:09The music industry is one of the very few industries where you don't have to go to school for it,
00:46:15yet you're thrown in it and record contracts.
00:46:19You've never seen any of this words salad in your life.
00:46:26And all of this you learn on the fly.
00:46:28I believe 90% of the artists will sign a horrible record deal just to have one.
00:46:34Unfortunately, this one was real bad.
00:46:37These guys were teenagers. Barely even teenagers.
00:46:4112 years old, 14 years old.
00:46:43For Backstreet Boys, nobody really stopped to think,
00:46:47you boys probably shouldn't sign this until somebody gets a lawyer for us.
00:46:51So we did. Or thought I did.
00:46:56Unbeknownst to me, the attorney that they got was a suggestion from Lou.
00:47:01The only attorney that was in the room when we signed it was his attorney.
00:47:05None of us got attorneys.
00:47:14I've often thought, what if one of our parents did decide to get a lawyer?
00:47:20The lawyer was there, read the contract, and saw that.
00:47:23Would Lou have dropped us on the spot?
00:47:25Or would he have changed the contract?
00:47:31I think he would have dropped us.
00:47:32I mean, I found five people. I can find another five people.
00:47:36Exactly. And he did.
00:47:38Bye-bye, everyone.
00:47:39Bye-bye.
00:47:40As far as NSYNC is concerned, Lou sat down with us and said,
00:47:43hey, you know what, I love to do this, A, B, C, and D.
00:47:47And I know that I'm going to look out for your best interest.
00:47:49Remember what I'm saying that?
00:47:49If I become a sixth member with you guys, that means we all split it,
00:47:53we'll all share it, but I'm going to look out for your best interest.
00:47:55I'm like, I split five, six ways.
00:47:58That seems pretty reasonable since thinking that's the only thing he's getting.
00:48:02Now, look, obviously you want to make a decision that's using your best judgment,
00:48:08but when you're out there grinding and you have no money
00:48:11and you're in a competitive landscape
00:48:12and in a business that's a dream to actually achieve,
00:48:16and the fact that someone handed me a piece of paper making it official,
00:48:19you're going to justify in your brain that it's something that's legit.
00:48:24So we signed a deal, the four of us.
00:48:28At that juncture within NSYNC,
00:48:31it didn't feel right, so I didn't do it.
00:48:37JC was pissed, calling me like,
00:48:39what are you doing, what are you doing, what are you doing?
00:48:41And I don't blame them.
00:48:43I kind of left them high and dry.
00:48:44So I get it, I'd be pissed at me too.
00:48:49After NSYNC, I went back to college, got my degree,
00:48:52and then a buddy of mine I went to school with,
00:48:55he was in the mortgage business,
00:48:56and I've been doing that ever since.
00:49:04You're always going to be, you know, have your what-if moments.
00:49:07You know, it's just human nature, you're going to think about that
00:49:10and have to have those what-if moments.
00:49:20I don't know, I don't know.
00:49:28So that was just the four of us, and we were pretty bent out of shape
00:49:31because we were, we were on the verge of doing stuff.
00:49:34So then we tried to find a bass singer.
00:49:40Well, I grew up in a little town called Ellisville, Mississippi.
00:49:44It was a town of 2,000 people, very small country town,
00:49:48a place you didn't lock your doors.
00:49:49You knew every single person in town.
00:49:53You know, you didn't go home until the street lights came on.
00:49:55That was your sign, and very conservative.
00:49:58I was in church three times a week.
00:50:00It was all about family, and it was all about religion.
00:50:03I was always in choir singing in church.
00:50:07So you never really had a dream that I could be an entertainer.
00:50:11When I was 16, I had a girlfriend at the time.
00:50:14I was getting ready for my homecoming parade.
00:50:17I got home from helping build the float,
00:50:20and my mom was on the phone with Lou Perlman
00:50:25and Justin Timberlake and his mom, Lynn.
00:50:27They'd found me through my coach for another show choir that I was in.
00:50:30And they're putting this band together
00:50:32and see if you want to be the bass singer.
00:50:34Think about how random that is, though.
00:50:36Somebody randomly calls you out of Mississippi to say,
00:50:38Hey, these four guys want to audition you in a group.
00:50:40Hey, tell your mom to come to Florida.
00:50:42We'll fly them out.
00:50:43My mom was like,
00:50:44No, I'm not interested and hung up, and that was it.
00:50:47The second time that they called,
00:50:50somehow my mom thought it was okay for us to fly to Orlando
00:50:54and just meet the guys.
00:50:56I was so nervous.
00:50:57These guys were insanely talented.
00:51:04I definitely felt like, you know, imposter syndrome for sure.
00:51:08And the 16-year-old kids never left their town,
00:51:10all of a sudden pretending they're a great singer,
00:51:13pretending they're a great dancer.
00:51:14I just felt like I was pretending the whole time,
00:51:16which suited me because I was pretending to be a lot of things at the time.
00:51:23Some of my first memories were knowing that I was different.
00:51:26In kindergarten, I remember having like a little crush on the boy
00:51:30instead of the girl, and I knew at that time that that was not right.
00:51:34You just knew it from what, you know, people say in the churches,
00:51:38all the jokes made about gay people.
00:51:40So at an early age, you knew that those feelings had to be suppressed.
00:51:46So I hid that part of myself.
00:51:50And the older I got, I did not like myself.
00:51:54It just felt lonely.
00:51:56It felt very lonely.
00:51:57I felt like I was on an island because I couldn't talk to anyone.
00:52:00I felt broke when I joined NSYNC.
00:52:04It was always alluded that your private life always needed to be hidden.
00:52:08If we were to come out as gay, if to come out even having a girlfriend,
00:52:13that it would really hurt our career, that that needed to be hidden.
00:52:18And so that always translated to me.
00:52:21It was like, never come out. Never come out.
00:52:26This one little thing just destroys all of that.
00:52:36Videotaping ends really cool.
00:52:38Run, run, run, run, run, run.
00:52:40Joey's got the camera and he's acting a fool.
00:52:43Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, do-do-do, yeah.
00:52:46Whoops a little draw, do-do-do, yeah.
00:52:48Love the movie back to school, do-do-do, yeah.
00:52:50I don't know anything else that runs a fool.
00:52:52I do run, run, run, I do run, run.
00:52:55I started in the entertainment business back in the 90s
00:52:58and I started with the boy band Craze in Orlando, Florida.
00:53:02For NSYNC, I started as their personal assistant.
00:53:05I didn't work for Lou and I didn't work for Johnny.
00:53:07I worked for the five guys directly.
00:53:10The first time I ever saw them perform, I said, get rid of that kid.
00:53:13He was a good dancer, but...
00:53:16He was very nasally and it was Justin.
00:53:19I'm rolling down the street and the music is bumping.
00:53:22I really said that.
00:53:23Boy, I was wrong.
00:53:25Boy, I was wrong.
00:53:28I realized that Lance was gay.
00:53:30We were on the bus and I was making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
00:53:34And he goes, what are you doing?
00:53:35He goes, no, no, no, no.
00:53:36He grabbed the styrofoam cup and he grabbed the peanut butter
00:53:38and put it in the styrofoam cup and then he grabbed jelly.
00:53:40You can't just do peanut butter and jelly.
00:53:43You have to mix it together.
00:53:44It's a different consistency.
00:53:45It's a different flavor.
00:53:47Try it.
00:53:48I'm telling you.
00:53:49He goes, try mine.
00:53:50And I try his.
00:53:52I'm like, huh.
00:53:52I go, Lance, are you kidding me, dude?
00:53:55This is the greatest thing I've ever tasted.
00:53:56This is unbelievable.
00:53:57He goes, yeah, Joe, I told you.
00:53:59I said, but also, this is the gayest thing I've ever done.
00:54:02And he looked at me and his whole face turned red and he ran off the bus.
00:54:08There was a lot of times where if people said trigger words, I probably would freeze up.
00:54:13And you would just kind of, ooh, kind of like Homer Simpson back into the bushes.
00:54:16You're like, I'm just going to just disappear right now.
00:54:20In the group, it was really interesting because I was the first one to find out.
00:54:24We go out one night.
00:54:25We all go back to Lance's house.
00:54:26I pass out in one of his guest bedrooms.
00:54:28I wake up at like 3 o'clock in the morning.
00:54:30I'm like, oh, I got to leave.
00:54:32I go to his bedroom, open up the door, there's nobody in there.
00:54:34Then I go to his office and I open up the door and he's sitting there and there's a guy
00:54:38straddled on top of him.
00:54:42I was at my computer and my boyfriend at the time, my very, very first boyfriend, was sitting on my
00:54:48lap.
00:54:48Not naked, but there's straddled on top.
00:54:51And I was like, got quiet.
00:54:54And he was like, oh, sorry.
00:54:55I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:54:56Come in, come in.
00:54:56I was like, surprise.
00:54:58Bro, I said, honestly, your mom's going to kill you.
00:55:01That's all I said to him.
00:55:03And he's like, oh, please, I don't care.
00:55:04I'm like, okay.
00:55:05And I knew he wouldn't care, but it was just so nice to hear those words.
00:55:09And finally, one of the members of your group know and be like, I don't care.
00:55:14He goes, just don't tell anybody.
00:55:16I don't want to tell anybody yet.
00:55:17It's not right.
00:55:17I go, Lance, I love you.
00:55:19I said, you're my brother.
00:55:21You let me know when it's right for you to tell.
00:55:23I'm not saying nothing to the guys because I found out by accident.
00:55:28We were such a family for so many reasons.
00:55:31You know, being fish out of water in this weird situation, it bonds you because you're
00:55:37stuck with each other.
00:55:38Then on top of that, we were the redheaded stepchild.
00:55:42JC.
00:55:46It was kind of like the secret little thing we had with Lou Perlman because of the boys,
00:55:51the Backstreet Boys.
00:55:52You know, they couldn't know about us.
00:55:56I worked for Lou, driving his limo, filling his fridge.
00:56:01And I definitely remember being in his office.
00:56:06You know, Backstreet Boys were hitting.
00:56:08And they had started in sync without Backstreet Boys knowing.
00:56:12And then brought Johnny right in to manage them.
00:56:15And I remember being in a meeting with Lou and Johnny.
00:56:17Like, they're talking about how are we going to navigate this.
00:56:20It was pretty intense at that time.
00:56:24For NSYNC, we gave them the same producers, the same writers, took them to Germany.
00:56:28So that was where our strategy was with those two.
00:56:32But Lou didn't want the Backstreet Boys to know that he was creating a new band.
00:56:37And I was now going to manage NSYNC.
00:56:40But one day, I fly to Utah to see the Backstreet Boys and be about the video shoot.
00:56:45And Kevin and Brian come into my room.
00:56:47And they go, why did you lie to us?
00:56:50And it was very uncomfortable.
00:56:52Definitely in their mind as a betrayal.
00:56:56We all got the wool pulled over our eyes, as the entire world knows.
00:56:59That was the one biggest question we had.
00:57:02Just, why did you do this?
00:57:04Why couldn't you just be happy with us and the way things were?
00:57:11There was a little bit of, oh, should I do this?
00:57:15Because you don't want one group mad that we have another group just the same.
00:57:21They felt we were greedy.
00:57:23I'll say, I'm guilty.
00:57:25But then when you sit at the other side, why should I let someone else get an NSYNC and do
00:57:32the same thing?
00:57:33If you're going to have competition, let it be by two acts that I represent so that I know how
00:57:39to manage the movement so neither one of you are hurt by it.
00:57:44Lou always equated it to this.
00:57:46You have Burger King and McDonald's.
00:57:49And in some cities, Burger King sits right next to McDonald's.
00:57:52People have a choice, but they both survive, so you guys can survive.
00:57:56And I said, I'll make that promise to you that you guys will have your lane, they'll have theirs.
00:58:01And that's what I, the word that I kept.
00:58:04Until we had booked the Backstreet Boys to play the Disney concert series.
00:58:10It was like almost two years that we were busting our asses to get to nowhere for a while.
00:58:14We did the grind. You know, we did the small little bars and clubs everywhere.
00:58:18And it kept us growing and getting better.
00:58:21And I remember one time NSYNC was opening for us and they, um, they came out and did, I want
00:58:26you back.
00:58:27And it was all, you know, the choreography was happening.
00:58:29I'm just sitting there like, holy shit, we are .
00:58:32It was like, they're never opening for us ever again.
00:58:35This is the first and last time that they will ever open for us.
00:58:40NSYNC was very together in their choreography.
00:58:43I saw boys that were working hard to get their dream.
00:58:45But they needed a break to become popular.
00:58:48Disney wanted to put on a concert in their parks.
00:58:51And we saw that the offers were for Backstreet and Johnny went to the boys and they didn't want to
00:58:55do it.
00:58:56They just felt, why the hell are we doing Disney when we're on the front cover of Rolling Stone?
00:59:00We'll just go ahead and show you why you should.
00:59:04Johnny Wright managed both groups.
00:59:06NSYNC was so polished and ready.
00:59:08They slipped in.
00:59:09This is the first concert we did for NSYNC.
00:59:19Thanks Backstreet Boys.
00:59:20I'm crazy for you.
00:59:24That break that they got at Disney was well deserved because they were so good.
00:59:28And then boom.
00:59:33And that catapulted them to the top.
00:59:40NSYNC was like covering at 66 with the album.
00:59:44Then the Backstreet Boys album was sitting at number four.
00:59:48And all of a sudden the NSYNC album jumped it and went to number two.
00:59:54Nobody was bigger than them at that time.
00:59:56But there is a side that's not so glamorous.
01:00:02And that goes from the fans, from the actual principals and artists, from the crew.
01:00:08You get threats.
01:00:10A 17-year-old teenager planned to steal guns to kill five musicians at an arena.
01:00:15All because of NSYNC's popularity with girls.
01:00:19One day we found out there was a bomb threat while we were out on tour.
01:00:22The management of the band are taking this threat very seriously.
01:00:26I love you!
01:00:28We love NSYNC!
01:00:29NSYNC is the best!
01:00:32There was a girl that pulled a gun once.
01:00:35If I didn't let her meet somebody, she waved a gun.
01:00:38And then she ran away.
01:00:41My behavior changed after that.
01:00:44You become more aware.
01:00:46You realize that at any moment something could happen.
01:00:51You'll see a Bieber cancel a tour.
01:00:54You'll see a Shawn Mendes cancel a tour.
01:00:56Because my mental health needs to come first.
01:00:58That was not an option when we were out there.
01:01:02You went out there and you did the show.
01:01:04And you came back after the show and you broke down and you cried and you kicked a hole in
01:01:08the wall.
01:01:09Or you did whatever you had to do.
01:01:11But you didn't bow out.
01:01:12You worked so hard to get there, you can't let your foot off the gas.
01:01:16This is going to sound super shady, but when we first went out, I remember on our first tour,
01:01:20someone at the label gave us a book and it was the age of consent in every state in the
01:01:24country.
01:01:25And we kept that book on the tour bus.
01:01:28They're hot, they're gorgeous, we want to see them.
01:01:30They have it all.
01:01:32Unfortunately, there were people out there looking to tear you down.
01:01:37Jake, will you marry me, please?
01:01:39There will be none of that.
01:01:40It's hard to not have a squeaky clean image when you're kind of a teen heartthrob band or group, right?
01:01:48I don't think there's anything wrong with a squeaky clean image.
01:01:51I mean, we're just trying to make our moms and our dads and our families proud.
01:01:55In that moment, in that time, I don't know my dad.
01:01:59At all.
01:02:01Most people don't know this.
01:02:02I was about 17, something like that.
01:02:05Now at that point, I'm already in the band for three years.
01:02:12My girlfriend at the time drove me to this random house in the middle of nowhere, 30 minutes from where
01:02:17I was living.
01:02:19We got out, she banged on the door and she dipped and just left me there.
01:02:25I was pissed.
01:02:27And this guy opens the door and I'm like, I am so sorry to bother you.
01:02:33And he looked at me and I looked at him and it was like, oh shit, wait.
01:02:37And he's like, Alex?
01:02:38And I was like, Dad?
01:02:40Dad?
01:02:47It was a weird, surreal moment.
01:02:50I went in, we talked for a little bit.
01:02:52It was my first time meeting my stepmom.
01:02:55He had news articles about Backstreet Boys, clippings, all these things.
01:03:00And I looked at that like, okay, that's kind of cool.
01:03:04That he's keeping up with my career even though we're not speaking.
01:03:10And then we exchanged numbers and we had talked about going to have lunch.
01:03:18But I got busy, too many tours, too many albums, wasn't able to do it.
01:03:23So after that, I didn't see him or speak to him for another probably 10 years.
01:03:33Backstreet Boys, those were my boys.
01:03:38I just thought they were so effortlessly cool.
01:03:42But I had no idea what the Backstreet Boys were going through when I was listening to their music.
01:03:50And that's by design because if you were to let the fans in on everything that's happening behind the scenes,
01:03:58the whole illusion would start to fall apart.
01:04:07The fact that NSYNC was actually becoming more and more successful, that's when I got the call from Backstreet Boys.
01:04:13We need to have a meeting.
01:04:15And they're like, there's three conditions for you to stay our manager.
01:04:18One, you have to get rid of Lou.
01:04:22You have to cut your management commission in half.
01:04:25And you have to get rid of NSYNC.
01:04:28So I said, that's an offer I can refuse.
01:04:31And that's when I told them, OK, if I'm not working with you and them, then I have a responsibility
01:04:36to make them the biggest group in the world.
01:04:38And that means I'm going to turn all my guns against you to make them bigger.
01:04:44I found out there was a problem with the American Music Awards dealing with the Backstreet Boys.
01:04:50So I said, OK, I'll give you NSYNC.
01:04:52Here is NSYNC.
01:04:55Yeah, we'll do it.
01:04:56I mean, why not?
01:04:56We were hungry for it.
01:05:02It's crazy how good they were.
01:05:05Their harmonies were better than Backstreet's harmonies, in my opinion.
01:05:08Sorry, boys.
01:05:09I found out the Backstreet Boys were going to put up a stadium tour.
01:05:13So I called our agent and I said, I want to put up a stadium tour two weeks before they
01:05:18do.
01:05:20And they shut their stadium tour down to an arena tour because they thought they weren't going to be able
01:05:25to sell the tickets.
01:05:28But every move that I found they were doing something first, I tried to beat them to the punch.
01:05:36Success was my revenge.
01:05:37In terms of record sales, in terms of their position on the charts, NSYNC really gave Backstreet Boys a run
01:05:43for their money.
01:05:45And of course, there were other acts that followed when they really exploded in popularity.
01:05:50And you see these rabid groups of fans who were fighting over who was the best boy band.
01:05:57It became a race in a sense, you know?
01:05:59MTV in the 80s and 90s was the go-to place for pop culture.
01:06:05We came up with TRL, Total Request Live, live in the studio with Carson.
01:06:11The show was truly programmed by the fans.
01:06:14A lot of young girls would call in within the hour screaming because they were programming it to see NSYNC
01:06:23and Backstreet Boys and Hanson.
01:06:26Where you were on TRL mattered.
01:06:29There's only 10 spots, can you stay in it?
01:06:32It became a competition.
01:06:34It was always a mix of Backstreet Boys and NSYNC being number one, number two.
01:06:38So whose side was bigger?
01:06:40Boy bands, you couldn't like both.
01:06:41That's my team and that's your team.
01:06:43We're going, it was that rivalry this.
01:06:45It was the Boston Red Sox and the Yankees.
01:06:47Can't like both teams.
01:06:48Sorry.
01:06:49Like, think about it.
01:06:50That's really what it became, that's what it came down to.
01:06:52Somebody's genius.
01:06:53Somebody's a real genius here.
01:06:54I hate to say who I think it is.
01:06:57I really do.
01:06:58I don't even want to say who it is.
01:07:01It came from Lou.
01:07:03And the reason why fans started taking a side against the other is because he would manufacture stories.
01:07:10They're so cute.
01:07:11Oh my God.
01:07:12Backstreet Boys are the best.
01:07:13He would say something like, hey, I was with Backstreet Boys the other day and they said NSYNC really couldn't
01:07:18sing.
01:07:19It was more like Lou would kind of twist the knife and go, Backstreet's doing this?
01:07:23They look great.
01:07:24They look really, really good.
01:07:25You guys should get in more shape.
01:07:26And it was that kind of thing.
01:07:27Or this band does, you know, flips.
01:07:29Maybe you guys should do that too.
01:07:30Lou always wanted those two to be at each other or be apart from each other.
01:07:35So they would never have that opportunity to sit down and really talk about real things like contracts or money.
01:07:42And so to me, that's really what his agenda was.
01:07:47In those early days of Backstreet Boys and NSYNC, they're out there working and they're doing everything and Brinks trucks
01:07:53are coming in to stadiums taking the money away.
01:07:57They're thinking, all right, on the first dividend check that we're supposed to get, we're going to be rich.
01:08:03That's not the case.
01:08:05NSYNC sold 10 million albums, Lou Pearlman gave them 10 grand.
01:08:09They should have been millionaires.
01:08:17We were heartbroken.
01:08:18We were not paying attention to numbers or what we're selling until later on.
01:08:25Once Lou gave us each a check, I'm like, I need to know everything.
01:08:28Show me numbers.
01:08:29I want to know what comes in.
01:08:30I want to know what goes out.
01:08:31What are we making?
01:08:32What's happening?
01:08:33What did we lose?
01:08:37Lou tripled it.
01:08:40Lou is the label.
01:08:41Then Lou is one of the managers.
01:08:44Getting paid is that.
01:08:45Lou took a percentage of the merch.
01:08:47Got paid is that.
01:08:48Lou took a percentage of the group.
01:08:50Got paid is that.
01:08:53And then the word I learned was recoupable.
01:08:56Good word, kids.
01:08:58Recoupable.
01:08:59Remember that.
01:09:01Recoupables are things that a record label will pay for during that initial process when they're investing in a record.
01:09:08They're investing in a new artist, like transportation, dinners out, a piece of clothing that they need for a shoot.
01:09:18But then when you start to sell records, they take that money back before you ever get paid.
01:09:23So, you know, in theory, it seems, okay, this is, I guess that's fair.
01:09:28But they were like, okay, well, here's the recoup stuff.
01:09:31And slapped everybody and showed us a printout of all the stuff and all the money that we owed.
01:09:36But I'm looking at it.
01:09:38And I'm going, shit, I didn't spend that.
01:09:41When did we do that?
01:09:42I don't remember that.
01:09:43The house that was rented.
01:09:45If we were a group together to dinner.
01:09:47Any of the recording sessions.
01:09:48The best vocal coach.
01:09:49The best this.
01:09:50The best that.
01:09:51Literally tacking on 80 million other things that you kept saying that you took care of where I thought you
01:09:57took care of it took care of it in the sense of not recouping it back.
01:10:02The one where I was like, are you kidding me?
01:10:05We were shooting Tear Not My Heart video in Miami.
01:10:07And it was around my birthday.
01:10:09It was around me and Justin's birthday.
01:10:10And Lou was like, I'll buy you guys a gift for your birthday.
01:10:13We're like, sweet.
01:10:14We go to Armani Exchange.
01:10:15I remember I bought this jacket.
01:10:16It was probably like 200 bucks, 250.
01:10:19Buys it.
01:10:20And in the recoup thing was the jacket.
01:10:26Now you start painting a picture of, this guy's really out to screw me.
01:10:32But you forget, you had this guy who took three and a half million dollars in putting it into your
01:10:38music career.
01:10:38But he had that much faith in you.
01:10:40And yeah, was he based on a deal going to make a lion's share if this worked?
01:10:45Yeah, he should.
01:10:46Because he took the chance.
01:10:48If you fronted a group and hit bombed, who takes the loss?
01:10:52Moi.
01:10:53The Backstreet Boys and NSYNC are two of the more high profile examples of this kind of exploitation.
01:10:58But it happens with every single popular group.
01:11:0598 Degrees.
01:11:06We signed with Motown.
01:11:08We got a very, you know, nominal advance on our contract.
01:11:12We knew that all expenses were recoupable.
01:11:14And so we took the opposite approach.
01:11:16Hey, we're not paying for anything.
01:11:17We'll take a break and go around the corner to Wendy's and then go back to the studio.
01:11:20And then at the end of the session at 4 a.m., you know, we're not going to get a
01:11:22car service back to Brooklyn.
01:11:24We'll take the A train back to Brooklyn in the middle of winter.
01:11:27Four of us, four in the morning standing in the subway station.
01:11:30And then we realized it didn't matter.
01:11:32You weren't going to see a dime from it anyway.
01:11:35Early on at Motown, we'd show up to the studio and the whole lobby of our studio session would be
01:11:40packed with other artists, execs.
01:11:43They're all smoking, hanging out, drinking, ordering food.
01:11:47And all that is going on your recoupment budget.
01:11:51The only way to ever hold a record label accountable is to audit them.
01:11:56What business works like that?
01:11:58It's like a street hustle that happens in boardrooms.
01:12:02And then on top of that, there was someone who was actually skimming money off the top.
01:12:07We were at this store called Clothes Time.
01:12:10It was like a clothing store and made an appearance and took pictures all day.
01:12:14We were just excited because we got five grand to stand there.
01:12:18Five grand, a thousand dollars a piece.
01:12:21We were supposed to have been paid 50 grand for that.
01:12:24Ultimately, we fired them.
01:12:26It's the Backstreet Boys and the management.
01:12:29Okay, sure.
01:12:31You put all this money in to get us off the ground, and I will forever be grateful.
01:12:37But we're the ones out there doing the work.
01:12:39We're the ones out there leaving our families, blood, sweat, and tears.
01:12:44You should not be getting the same thing we get.
01:12:47There's no reason for that.
01:12:49From 1993 to 1997, Lou Pearlman earns $10 million from the Backstreet Boys.
01:12:57The members of the band together got $300,000.
01:13:04Now what happened was, all the groups, we had a little party.
01:13:08So I look over, and I see Justin talking to Nick and Brian.
01:13:12And then all the other guys are talking to each other and other members.
01:13:16The one thing Lou didn't want to do is for these guys to sit down and really talk about things
01:13:22about Lou that he might have lied about.
01:13:25And then about a week later is when a German attorney sends a notice on behalf of Brian that they're
01:13:34suing me and Lou.
01:13:36Brian Littrell is the first one to launch a lawsuit against Lou Pearlman.
01:13:41And shortly thereafter, the other members from Backstreet Boys follow suit.
01:13:46All five of the BSB lads are suing their former manager.
01:13:49Backstreet had their lawsuit against Lou Pearlman and Johnny Wright, which started in 1998.
01:13:53And then NSYNC filed a lawsuit against Lou and only Lou in 1999.
01:14:00We need to fight for what we have done throughout these two and a half, three years that we've been
01:14:03busting our asses.
01:14:04I was like, listen, we need to do this.
01:14:06So it was a very scary and tough decision.
01:14:10And then what happened, he wanted to draw a line in the sand and say,
01:14:14Do you have a contract with me? I spent this money. If it wasn't for me, there wouldn't be no
01:14:18them.
01:14:20So they went to battle.
01:14:22And then Lou tried to sue NSYNC for their name.
01:14:25It's him desperate to try to hang on to something that he had no right to.
01:14:31We were definitely nervous.
01:14:33You had these guys, you know, you had Lou and he has all these lawyers and like we don't have
01:14:37that money.
01:14:38We don't have anybody to back us up like that in that sense.
01:14:41We're opening up a can that could mess up our name.
01:14:43We might not even have a name in sync.
01:14:45If he won, their careers were back to square one. Like it was over.
01:14:52I was scared, but we were confident on top of that as well.
01:14:56Scared in the sense of we didn't know what was going to happen with NSYNC, but confident enough that we
01:15:00knew that we were not in the wrong.
01:15:04We went and sat in front of a judge.
01:15:06Even the way the judge said it was is, look, if I look at a poster, I see five guys
01:15:11on it.
01:15:12You're not on that poster.
01:15:14So how are you a sixth member?
01:15:16But it was all legit.
01:15:19And the lawyer said, hey, this is what we need to do and settle out of court.
01:15:23NSYNC won the rights to their name, but still had a signed contract with Lou Pearlman.
01:15:27So both the Backstreet Boys and NSYNC paid a collective amount of $64 million to settle out of their contract.
01:15:38When we split from Lou, I think it hurt different levels for each of us.
01:15:43It was disappointment. 100% disappointment.
01:15:47He was Big Papa.
01:15:50He was the one to look for guidance in certain things.
01:15:54And you kind of screwed us over.
01:15:57Backstreet Boys then turned around after they got big and sued you and said you took too much of their
01:16:03money.
01:16:04I don't think they said it as much as the lawyers that got in the middle of it kind of
01:16:10blew it out of proportion in a sense.
01:16:12That was Lou's mentality.
01:16:13Lou was going to crank out boy band after boy band after boy band.
01:16:17And he did.
01:16:27What's up? I'm Brad.
01:16:28I'm Rich.
01:16:29I'm Devin.
01:16:29And we're on that phone.
01:16:30I was a member of Take 5.
01:16:32When I was 12, I met Lou at his house.
01:16:35Did you audition that day? Did you sing for him that day?
01:16:38Um, no.
01:16:40About halfway through, I guess I started to realize that, oh, I guess this has already been decided.
01:16:45Clearly there was no shortage of boy groups in Orlando to be found.
01:16:53Now there's a Latin band, C-Note.
01:16:55He did C-Note.
01:16:57And he did girl groups too.
01:17:01And they all came from Orlando.
01:17:03Cranking them out.
01:17:04Lou Pearlman bands, cookie cutter.
01:17:07Can't tell them apart.
01:17:08Maybe the concept, the style, or where we're going might be clean cut.
01:17:12And that could be the commonality.
01:17:14Every time you make a cake, it always tastes good in the end.
01:17:19If you make it right.
01:17:34My name is Steven Mooney.
01:17:36And I was auditioning to be in a boy band and worked with Lou Pearlman in Transcon Records.
01:17:41I was in the army.
01:17:42I had to be 19-ish, 20.
01:17:46And when I got out, I was working at Abercrombie & Fitch.
01:17:51Nine West Shoes and TGI Fridays as a busser.
01:17:55And I got approached by this kid in the mall.
01:17:57And he's like, hey, I'm putting together a boy band.
01:18:00And he's like, can you sing?
01:18:02I was like, I've never really tried, but I've never been told that I can't sing.
01:18:06Right?
01:18:07That's when he was like, come to my house and we'll sing and we'll see what you got.
01:18:11And then go from there.
01:18:13Eventually, I ended up at the house of one of Lou's confidants.
01:18:17He's one of the guys in the group with Lou.
01:18:19I mean, there were hundreds of kids at this house.
01:18:22And he has everybody sing.
01:18:23And then he kicked everybody out of the house except for me.
01:18:27And then he put his hand on my shoulder as he was walking me out.
01:18:29And he's like, hey, I want you to meet the big guy.
01:18:33I'm like, I had no idea what this guy is talking about.
01:18:36I had no idea who Backstreet Boys were.
01:18:38I had no idea who NSYNC was.
01:18:40No idea who Britney Spears was.
01:18:41I was fresh out of the army.
01:18:42But literally the next day, I was at the office at 9 o'clock in the morning meeting Lou Pearlman.
01:18:48When you walk into the glass doors, I see pictures of like Britney Spears, Aaron Carter.
01:18:54Backstreet Boys, NSYNC.
01:18:56And there's these two big honking doors at the end of this hallway.
01:19:01And then he opens them up.
01:19:03And there's Lou sitting there.
01:19:05And he had me sing something acapella himself.
01:19:09And that's when he's like, you're mine.
01:19:11What did you promise?
01:19:13I thought it was going to be, to my parents' face, I was going to be a millionaire in the
01:19:17next year.
01:19:18Had you at this point heard anything about why Backstreet or NSYNC was suing him?
01:19:23No, he never mentioned why.
01:19:25And all that stuff was settled out of court, right?
01:19:27So nobody knew why.
01:19:30We haven't been introduced to Backstreet or NSYNC yet.
01:19:32So we're just hearing his side of it.
01:19:35Like, that they're just ungrateful or being greedy.
01:19:37There's so many different other, like, versions of that story that can make total sense.
01:19:42What was your little 12-year-old perspective on what Lou wanted from this?
01:19:50I don't know.
01:19:51Um, I guess I never thought about what Lou wanted from it.
01:19:56You're working three jobs, and you're trying to make something to yourself, and you've got no direction.
01:20:01And somebody comes in, like a guardian angel, and is just like, you're an amazing person.
01:20:06You got incredible talent.
01:20:08You got a great look.
01:20:08And I'm gonna make you a millionaire based on these things.
01:20:12There's no better feeling in the world, right?
01:20:15And he's like, I have some ideas.
01:20:17I'm putting together a band.
01:20:18If that's gonna work out, we'll find something for you.
01:20:22But that was sort of the open-ended.
01:20:24He's like, you're gonna come work for me for, you know, however long it takes.
01:20:29He made me his driver.
01:20:32He's like, JC drove for me.
01:20:34Rich drove for me at some point.
01:20:36He's like, even Brad drove for me.
01:20:39What were your first impressions of Lou Brolin?
01:20:43I don't know.
01:20:45You know?
01:20:46When I was still working for Lou, driving his limo, I wanted to be a rapper.
01:20:51I was 19.
01:20:53Rich and this guy, Brian, they had set up a meeting with Lou.
01:20:58So he's like, hey, you know, you guys are doing the same kind of music.
01:21:00Why don't you just come together as one group and, you know, I'll sign you.
01:21:04And we're like, okay, you know?
01:21:06Then he disappears and comes back.
01:21:08I'm pretty sure he had, like, just some gym shorts on and a guitar.
01:21:13You know, a shirt and a guitar, right?
01:21:16And he's sitting there in front of us on the couch and he's like, he starts playing the guitar.
01:21:21So it was just kind of a weird, a weird time.
01:21:27He was kind enough to let me stay in his house as I was, like, coming up through these things.
01:21:34But when I lived at that house,
01:21:38and that's when it all came crashing down.
01:21:42There's a lot of stuff that happened behind closed doors.
01:21:45It didn't feel good.
01:21:47Something here is not right.
01:21:49And, uh, I was not the only one.
01:21:56I've always just said really nice things about Lou and I'm really grateful.
01:22:00But it does feel like there was one member of each group that Lou was grooming.
01:22:06Including me.
01:22:13You're on this roller coaster of never stopping.
01:22:17Or you think it's never gonna stop.
01:22:19First time I tried drugs.
01:22:21Wow, this is awesome.
01:22:22I was so deathly afraid of being called washed up.
01:22:25I was victimized.
01:22:27These get a lot darker and a lot more bleak.
01:22:30We're all alone.
01:22:30We're all alone.
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