- 19 hours ago
She's Not Homeless, She's Healer Goddess
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Short filmTranscript
00:00The goddess of healing
00:03She is
00:04eccentric and elusive and no one has ever seen her before whoever finds the goddess healer will get the five
00:11million dollars
00:13Oh kind stranger, let me repay you by granting you a wish
00:17I wish for you to cure my brother's illness. Can you do that?
00:20My brother's a war hero who single-handedly saved his country from a terrorist attack
00:24If he's a hero to you, then that means he must be a good person. It's a deal
00:30I'll save Lysander Armstrong. How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
00:35I mean you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good
00:38That's right the Queen Angel and I are already the top doctors in the world if we can't save him
00:45No one can don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm now stop getting in my
00:51way
00:53Every second counts
00:58Healer goddess, hear my plea
01:02Please save my child
01:19Rod of a sepulius
01:25Not at all
01:37Dr not using them
01:39We chα»vening
01:48Brayze, she is the healer goddess
01:52No, please. Don't call me that. I'm just glad I could help.
02:01Here you go, miss.
02:06Why be weighed down by a throne when I can live amongst the common people and help those the most
02:10in need?
02:22You must be rushing off to go find your jewels, because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and
02:28run.
02:31Aw, it's okay, little guy. I'll fix you right up.
02:41Right rewrites the wrong.
02:45We're doing it.
02:50See? Good as the day you can kick him out of your mother's womb.
02:56Come on, Cleo. Let's go.
03:13Please. My brother's been in a coma the last two years. We have no idea what the illness is.
03:19If anyone can help cure him, we will pay you handsomely.
03:22Be Lysander Armstrong. His military family basically owns the entire global stock market.
03:28He's so hot.
03:30Does he come with the money?
03:32Yes. He'll even marry you if you can cure him.
03:34Money, fame, power. It's all yours.
03:42Are we still moving forward, Miss Trixie?
03:44Yes. Give the presidential contract to Marissa. Oh, I have another call coming in.
03:52Grandma!
03:53I'm dying! Save me, Trixie!
03:56Grandma? Grandma.
03:59When are you getting married? I'm already a hundred years old.
04:03I'm going to keep you healthy forever, Grandma.
04:05Yeah. And Butch is still on deployment, so that's why I haven't been married yet.
04:12Oh, but why marry a vegetable when I can bang a younger stud like you?
04:18We're talking about my brother's life. I don't have time for jokes.
04:23No!
04:32Please go feed your dog, Miss. Don't let it starve like you.
04:35Oh, kind stranger. Let me repay you by granting you a wish.
04:39Grant me a wish? That you can barely feed yourself.
04:43The downfall of humanity. It all starts with the loss of faith.
04:47What? Oh, jeez. This is giving me a migraine.
04:51Are you telling me to pray to God because we've been doing that?
04:54I'm telling you to have some faith in me.
04:57Okay. Uh, I wish for you to cure my brother's illness.
05:02Can you do that?
05:03I can topple mountains and make a king out of a frog if I wanted to.
05:07Cleo, stay right here for a second.
05:10Don't go too far, Cleo.
05:14Hold still.
05:21What? My migraine's gone.
05:24Okay, then let's go.
05:25If you can cure my brother, he'll even marry you.
05:28Come on. Come on.
05:29Oh!
05:43How is he?
05:44What is the diagnosis?
05:45Remember, you will not marry him unless you cure him.
05:49I'm sorry. I don't know what this is.
05:51Aren't you the queen of medicine?
05:52You're supposed to be one of the best.
05:54Don't worry, General.
05:56I'm the angel herbalist, and I have mastered all healing methods of the East.
06:00I can detect what condition your son has with just one needle.
06:21I have no clue what this is.
06:25Oh, it looks like the angel herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all.
06:30That's why we saved the best for last.
06:33Me, the witch doctor.
06:35I'll save your son, Lysander.
06:47He's not budging.
06:48There's no movement.
06:49Truly, I have saved thousands of patients all over the world, but I don't know what this is.
06:56Lord, I've scoured the earth for the best doctors.
06:59They've tried all these methods, and they've all failed.
07:02If we can't save him, there's only one person who can.
07:08Who?
07:11The goddess of healing.
07:15Wait a second.
07:16You're not talking about the legendary goddess healing.
07:19That's correct.
07:20Her right rewrites the rond, and her left leaves the bereft.
07:25That's her motto.
07:26It's what makes her a sage amongst mortals.
07:29We are nothing compared to her.
07:31She is eccentric and elusive.
07:35No one has ever seen her before.
07:37If this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my son,
07:41I don't care if I go bankrupt.
07:43I will find her.
07:45James, come put out a bounty to the entire world.
07:50Whoever finds the goddess healer will get the five million dollars.
07:54There's no need.
08:09I'll save your son.
08:12Who the hell is she?
08:13Dad, she says she can cure Lysander.
08:15She's going to save your brother?
08:17Don't be ridiculous.
08:18How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
08:22Exactly.
08:23God, the unemployed are getting crazier and crazier.
08:26She's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich.
08:30Ew!
08:30She even brought a filthy dog with her.
08:33I bet it has fleas.
08:35That flea-infested, dirty thing is your companion.
08:39Don't try to steal Lysander Armstrong from us.
08:46Don't touch him.
08:49They say don't judge a book by its cover,
08:51but I can see from all your faces that you've failed.
08:54So step aside.
08:56I'll take it from here.
08:58Could you hold this?
08:59Oh, you're not going to touch my son.
09:02I'm the richest tycoon in this country and a former general.
09:07I know a gold-digging whore when I see one.
09:09I bet she's only here because giving blowjobs on the street corners wasn't paying enough cash.
09:15Who knows what an unskilled poor girl like her would do for some.
09:19A skinny-ass beggar trying to take advantage of Lysander Armstrong when he's unconscious?
09:26Ew!
09:27Disgusting.
09:27Go back to being a prostitute.
09:30Security!
09:31Get this STD-infested peasant out of here now.
09:34Let's go.
09:35If you throw me out, you're tossing away your son's last chance at life.
09:41Sir, we are at our wit's end trying to find a cure for Master Lysander and to no avail.
09:47Maybe we should give her a try?
09:49You can always deal with her later if she turns out to be a fraud.
09:53All right, I'll give you a shot.
09:55But I warn you, if you fail, I'll have your and your dog's head mounted on my wall.
10:01Is that any way to ask for help?
10:04You'd be blessed to have me.
10:07And I'm only here to repay your younger son's kindness.
10:09But since I'm not welcome here, I'll leave.
10:14Devon, come find me when you have a different wish.
10:17No, Miss Trixie.
10:19My brother is a hero to me.
10:21I can't lose him.
10:23Well, if he's a hero to you, then that means he must be a good person.
10:29My brother is a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
10:33Also, he's great with puppies.
10:35He'd make a great husband.
10:38Who says I want to marry him?
10:40As if the number one hottest 30 under 30 would even dream of marrying a penniless bum like you.
10:47Only a lunatic would be crazy enough to marry her.
10:50I mean, look at her.
10:51Even if she cleaned herself up, you couldn't find an ounce of femininity on her.
10:56Only those cut from the lowest ranks were bigger over such trivial matters.
11:01Continue wasting your time.
11:02But I'm saving this patient.
11:14Oh, okay.
11:17What's happening?
11:19What are we doing?
11:30What the hell are you doing?
11:33I knew she was a perv.
11:35She's definitely trying to steal Lysander from us.
11:38Do you all not know that sweat can tell you everything that's medically wrong with a patient?
11:41Are you insane?
11:43Security, smash her face in for licking my son.
11:47He's born with congenital heart disease, has a peanut allergy, and the condition he has is called endogenic cryomorphy.
11:54Yeah, right.
11:55I mean, no way you got all that just from licking him.
11:58Oh, okay.
11:59I've studied every disease known to man, right?
12:01I even have the badge of universal medicine right here.
12:05And I've never heard of endo-cryo-what?
12:10What?
12:12This?
12:19Is worth nothing when I have the real thing right here.
12:23So you think that this crummy walking stick of yours is, what, the rod of a sepulius?
12:30Why don't you go back to the homeless asylum where you came from if you're going to be this delusional?
12:35I agree.
12:36I mean, even if she does solve this medical mystery, what is the point of doctors who have studied for
12:42years?
12:43We are all certified.
12:44But Lysander does have congenital heart disease.
12:48She's right about everything.
12:52Yeah, but if she just throws out a bunch of fake diagnoses, one of them is bound to be right.
12:57And again, there is no such thing as endo-cryo-what-what?
13:00Endogenic cryomorphy.
13:02Oh.
13:02And of course none of you have heard of it.
13:04Because I just discovered it.
13:07This condition only affects those with both CHD and a peanut allergy.
13:11The chances are a billion to one.
13:13A hundred times rarer than winning the lottery.
13:15But lucky for you all, you've hit the jackpot by finding me.
13:20What a bunch of baloney.
13:22I mean, you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good.
13:27Precisely.
13:27You are just a scamming prostitute.
13:30You don't compare to meet us who actually studied real medicine.
13:35I bet you were too poor to go to real medical school.
13:39Oh, so she went to the super circus instead.
13:42And now she's here putting on this clown show coming up with fake diseases, which mean nothing, if you can't
13:49wake him up.
13:50Is that supposed to be a challenge?
13:53Oh, yeah.
13:54If you three incompetent doormats want to show me up, I think you all should grow parts of your brain
14:00back.
14:01Which, by the way, that condition is called an encephaly.
14:05What is that supposed to mean?
14:06It means you're being schooled by me.
14:08And I'm about to walk all over your medical licensees.
14:12Then let's have a bet.
14:14If you can't heal him, we'll break your hands.
14:20And then you can't pretend to have healing hands anymore.
14:26These hands have saved more lives than all three of you combined.
14:30You're that desperate to get rid of your competition, huh?
14:34Miss Trixie, don't risk your hands for them.
14:37There's too many lives at stake.
14:41Don't worry.
14:42I got this.
14:45It's a deal.
14:47I'll save Lysander Armstrong.
14:49No one is dying on my watch.
14:57Lysander Armstrong has been in a vegetative state for two years.
15:04Are you stopping me because you're scared I'd actually succeed?
15:08Homeless or not, if you save my son, I'll give you everything.
15:20I'll even have Lysander, my heir, marry you.
15:23I'm not doing this for the money or for a wealthy husband.
15:26I just believe in helping good people and doing the right thing.
15:31Prepare a jacuzzi set at exactly 113 degrees Fahrenheit.
15:34Wait, wait, wait, wait.
15:35What for?
15:36Don't listen to her.
15:38She probably stinks so bad that she just wants a bath to wash the homeless stench off of her.
15:43Firstly, this is called greatness.
15:47Secondly, even if you drown yourself in plastic surgery, you couldn't get rid of your own ugly moral character.
15:54What?
15:55What?
15:55Did you just call me?
15:58There's a man's life at stake here, and you're standing in my way.
16:03Don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm.
16:07Now stop getting in my way, or I promise you, you will be bubbling at the mouth very soon.
16:13Oh, yeah?
16:14Hey, you want to see real pain?
16:15Where's the dog?
16:16Well, put down the dog!
16:18With pleasure.
16:34Left leaves the wrong bereft.
16:41You don't deserve to call yourself a doctor.
16:46She's been poisoned!
16:48It was her!
16:50Do you see any poison on me?
16:52Medicine in the right hands can save lives, but in the wrong hands, it becomes nothing but poison.
16:58This bitch isn't good enough to take down the queen of medicine!
17:02Do you have one of your antidotes on you?
17:03Of course.
17:05I've saved entire civilizations with my antidotes.
17:08If I want to save someone, even the Grim Reaper can't stop me.
17:28Why is she spitting blood?
17:30This wasn't supposed to happen!
17:31I thought you said even the Grim Reaper can't get in your way, angel herbalist.
17:36This is what I call malpractice.
17:40This isn't fatal.
17:41She'll live.
17:42But she deserves a little punishment.
17:44Well, where's the jacuzzi I asked for?
17:47Jacuzzi is ready?
17:48Right this way.
17:49Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
17:50What the hell is going on?
17:52You say you want your son to live on to give you tons of grandchildren, don't you?
17:56Then stop getting in my way.
17:58Every second counts.
18:01Let's go for our dip, shall we?
18:06General Armstrong.
18:07Your family is the richest and most powerful in the nation.
18:11Are you really going to let this hobo slut touch your son?
18:15Hold on.
18:16You two are going in there alone?
18:19If you don't want these drooling vultures to see your son naked, then sure.
18:23Invite everyone in.
18:25All right.
18:26But I warn you.
18:28No funny business.
18:30Hmm.
19:04I don't know.
19:30You really shouldn't leave your precious son in there with that homeless conwoman, General Armstrong.
19:35Exactly!
19:36What if she gets pregnant by him?
19:38She could blackmail you for millions.
19:42That's what I would do if I was that poor.
19:44And then the Armstrong family will be the laughingstock of the nation, held for ransom by a homeless woman.
19:51Dad, you can't seriously be listening to that.
19:54We have to have faith.
19:56Where did you actually find this little life?
20:00On the streets.
20:02Are you shitting me?
20:04You found this bum on the streets?
20:06Are you nuts?
20:07You don't know her.
20:08You don't know her background.
20:10She could be a psychotic murder.
20:11That is it, General.
20:12You have to go in and stop this now.
20:14You're right.
20:15That's it.
20:15I'm shutting down this clown show right now.
20:18James, let's go.
20:19Yes, sir.
20:22Oh my...
20:30I told you all to stay out.
20:37This is a critical moment for you.
20:39We can't be interrupted.
20:40Otherwise, we'd both die.
20:46I'm not going to let this homeless hoochie mama trap my son.
20:52I'm going to save him myself.
20:54No, that...
20:58You see that, General?
21:00This isn't just a gull-dicking con woman.
21:02This is witchcraft.
21:05I know what this is.
21:06This is the dark witch.
21:08I've heard of her.
21:10She uses her dark magic to steal the hearts of young, handsome men,
21:14and then she eats them alive.
21:16I'm going to kill that bitch before she takes my son.
21:18James, get the SWAT team.
21:21Yes, sir.
21:25You regain consciousness.
21:37Help me.
21:38I'm just one.
21:43Something's wrong.
21:47You were drunk with an aphrodisiac.
21:50Lysander Armstrong and his fortune will soon be mine.
21:55That's one more thing I'm saving you from.
22:04Sir?
22:05The SWAT team is here.
22:07Captain Morales.
22:10My son is trapped behind there with a devious, man-eating witch.
22:15I need you to do whatever you can to tear down that door.
22:18Rest assured, General Armstrong.
22:20We'll break down that door and bury that bitch alive.
22:27Right.
22:28Rewrites the wrong.
22:33I'm a human.
22:37Who the fuck are you?
22:39And why the hell are we naked?
22:42Good.
22:43You're awake.
22:44I'm saving you.
22:45Saving me?
22:46By bathing with me?
22:48Who are you?
22:49Are you a fucking spy?
22:51Talk to me.
22:52I swear to God, I'll have you arrested for this.
22:56You're the one who's trying to kiss me in your stupor.
23:01I will never.
23:02Oh, really?
23:16Look who's scelting now.
23:20Look, I don't know how the fuck this is, all right?
23:22But it is a biological fact.
23:24A man is attracted to a naked woman and her breasts.
23:30Science, okay?
23:30It just means that my body is physically...
23:35You're just acting with me with your friend.
23:38And I'm a professional.
23:40I hear Lysander's voice.
23:42Captain, do something now.
23:43Ready.
23:49We're almost there.
23:50Aim.
23:53Get him, boys.
23:55Get him.
23:57Fire!
24:00Fire!
24:15Those demons.
24:17How is this possible?
24:19It's not even a scratch.
24:21I told you this is dark magic.
24:23Of course, your earthly bullets won't do a thing.
24:26No.
24:26I believe Miss Trixie is a good person.
24:29She's not the dark witch.
24:31Young Master Armstrong, you are too easily fooled.
24:35This homeless psycho doesn't even have the skills to make a living.
24:38How is she going to save someone else's life?
24:40That's right.
24:41The Queen Angel and I are already the top female doctors in the world.
24:45If we can't save him, no one can.
24:48Except for the goddess healer.
24:50Think about it.
24:51We heard Lysander's voice.
24:52He's been in a coma for two years.
24:54Miss Trixie must have woken him up.
24:55You're right.
24:56This homeless girl is maybe the goddess.
25:02Maybe this homeless girl is really the goddess.
25:05No, no, absolutely not.
25:07There is no way this hobo girl is better than us.
25:10How could you know for sure?
25:12Right now, what we need to do is not interrupt Miss Trixie.
25:16You're wrong, sir.
25:17This homeless snake is using the forbidden techniques on Master Lysander.
25:21It's called borderline revival.
25:24She uses torturous pain to wake the patient.
25:27But only temporarily.
25:29It's a trick to pull the wool over your eyes and ears.
25:33That means my son is in tremendous pain.
25:36I'm going to ask you two to do whatever you can to kill that antler rod bearing witch.
25:42My son doesn't deserve this.
25:43He is dying right now, naked in a jacuzzi with a smelly vagrant.
25:48Then it looks like it's up to me.
25:50The witch doctor.
25:52Only I know the right techniques to take her down.
25:56My son's life is in your hands.
25:59You heal him, I will give you whatever your heart desires.
26:03I don't know who you are, but there is no way I am letting you rip my golden bachelor away
26:09from me.
26:11This isn't the finishing touch.
26:14I must now give you the kiss of life.
26:17So we can both survive.
26:37It's poison gas.
26:39Poison gas will smoke them out and end her torture over Master Lysander.
26:44Poison gas?
26:45My son is in there.
26:47You're jeopardizing his life as well.
26:49No, don't worry, General.
26:51Gold diggers like her only care about themselves.
26:54Soon, she'll come out crying to Mommy.
26:57Then we can reverse the poison on your son.
26:59And then he can marry one of us.
27:02They really won't stop until they get both of us killed.
27:07I knew they promised you that I'd save you.
27:10It's now or never.
27:13Never.
27:24What the hell are they doing in there?
27:26It's been over ten minutes.
27:27Wait a second.
27:29You don't think that they're...
27:31You!
27:32You suffocated my brother and Miss Trixie in there!
27:34Don't point your fingers at me!
27:36If your brother's dead, it's because of that homeless gold digger!
27:40Oh my god.
27:40Yeah?
27:41She's the one who sealed the door shut.
27:43I mean, she probably locked themselves in there on accident.
27:47Miss Trixie wouldn't have to do that if you weren't trying to sabotage her from saving my brother!
27:51This is taking way too long!
27:54Captain Morales, it's time to get out the big guns.
27:58These bazookas can flatten even a bomb shelter.
28:02Bazooka.
28:02She won't be able to hide even if she's the devil himself.
28:05Crap.
28:06Oh my god.
28:06Get back, son.
28:08Ready.
28:10Aim!
28:11Oh shit!
28:16Quit your whining and stand down!
28:30The parasite's been extracted.
28:32Shoot her dead now!
28:33Do I need to fix your hearing too?
28:35I said stand down!
28:38Don't listen to her.
28:40She's a fraud.
28:41A termite to the field of medicine.
28:43I just saved this man that otherwise would have died in your care.
28:46If I'm a termite, then you're worse than a disease spreading tick.
28:51Wait a second.
28:52Are you saying you cured my son?
28:55He'll wake in just a moment.
28:56You can see for yourself.
28:58Well now you're just asking to be exposed.
29:00That is it!
29:02No more stalling, General!
29:03If you won't punish her, I will.
29:09Don't hurt her.
29:15He's a killer!
29:21His pulse is regular.
29:23In fact, it's never been better.
29:28There's no sign of illness, infection, or disease.
29:39Miss Trixie did it, Dad.
29:41Lysander's warm again.
29:42He's not cold and pale like before.
29:44And his heart is strong.
29:46Come, feel it.
29:49I saved my son.
29:51Next time, don't go seeking medical advice from those with ill will.
29:55Your son would have otherwise died by their greedy and unskilled hands.
29:59I've learned my lesson.
30:01I will not let these two nutjobs ever practice their voodoo voodoo magic again.
30:06Wait, wait!
30:07No, no!
30:07There is only one person in the world
30:10who is more skilled in the field of medicine
30:12than the Queen, Angel, and I.
30:15The...
30:16The Goddess Healer!
30:21Could you really be the Goddess of Healing?
30:23But rumor has it that the Goddess of Healing is well over 100 years old,
30:28and you don't look a day after 20.
30:31It doesn't matter who I am.
30:33What matters is that the patient is healthy again.
30:36Devon, I've repaid your kindness by fulfilling your wish of saving your brother.
30:39Take care.
30:40No, wait!
30:42Miss Trixie, we still haven't fulfilled our promise to you yet.
30:44He's right.
30:46We are men of our words, and as I promised you,
30:49my heir, Lysander, would take you as a wife if you cured him,
30:52and you did just that.
30:53Of course, you're welcome to marry me instead.
30:56Oh, I really appreciate it, but I'm sorry.
31:01I...
31:02I'm already engaged.
31:06Already engaged?
31:07I am.
31:08I've been patiently awaiting his return from deployment for the last three years.
31:12And he's coming back today.
31:14But don't be disappointed.
31:16Really, I'm no one special.
31:18I just got lucky with your brother.
31:20Some guru taught me that spa water can cure all kinds of ailments.
31:24But you're still Lysander's savior.
31:25Please, let me give you what I promised.
31:28Take the gold.
31:29No, really.
31:31I don't need anything.
31:33I just believe in doing good in the world.
31:38Trixie, it's your fiancΓ©.
31:41He's back.
31:42And he says he's breaking up with you.
31:46I must go.
31:53Hobo close.
31:54Halo glow.
31:56I bet the goddess healer is just like Miss Trixie.
31:59It was just dumb luck.
32:01She's even dumber for not accepting his marriage proposal.
32:04She could have been the richest woman in the world.
32:06Marrying the hottest, most powerful bachelor around.
32:13I'm gonna marry that hobos woman.
32:19Oh, my God.
32:20I mean, I don't know about that homeless bimbo, but this is godly.
32:26No, no, no, no, Lysander.
32:29Lysander, our show is supposed to be mine.
32:32I'd so much rather share him with you than let that penniless, ugly bitch have him.
32:37You two nut jobs are a disgrace to your profession.
32:40Take these two weirdos out of here and revoke their licenses.
32:44No.
32:45We're not brides.
32:46No, she's just better than us.
32:49Oh, my God.
32:51Oh, my God.
32:53We were truly blessed to have Miss Trixie here, huh?
32:56She's no average Jane.
32:57No, she isn't.
32:58She said it was just dumb luck.
33:00But if she truly had these special skills, why did she wear that shit-stained dress and had an impeccable
33:06-looking doll?
33:06But think about the impenetrable walls.
33:08No normal person could have done that.
33:10Goddess or not, homeless or not, I don't care.
33:13I have never met a woman like that.
33:15I have to find her.
33:16I have to make her my life.
33:18She won my heart over, too.
33:19But if my bestest big bro wants her, I'll help you find her.
33:23All right, listen.
33:24I need help finding three wedding gifts.
33:32I'm dumping Trixie.
33:33So I want you, your granddaughters, filthy things out of my house now.
33:40Trixie paid for this house.
33:42She waited for you for three years.
33:45She was dumb enough to put my name on the lease.
33:47And I'm upgrading for a better girlfriend now.
33:49One with some serious fuck you money.
33:52So get lost.
33:54Who gave you permission to bark like a rabbit hyena in my house?
34:02Grandma.
34:04Beatrice, Trixie, Amori.
34:07I've been dying to throw this in your face.
34:09I'm dumping you for your best friend, Marissa.
34:14In fact, the wedding's tomorrow.
34:16So sign over the house now.
34:23You gave me this ring and asked me to wait.
34:27And I did.
34:28For three years while you were deployed.
34:31Yet you cheat on me with my best friend.
34:33And now you're trying to swindle my home?
34:36Do you have no shame?
34:38We were together for three years and it was a complete waste of my life
34:42when I could have been with a loaded girl like Marissa.
34:49That's how much she would owe me if I was in the rent-to-boyfriend business.
34:55I see you're fulfilling your highest aspirations of being a low-grade male prostitute.
35:03Oh yeah?
35:05Well, Marissa is so much better than you.
35:09She grew up even poorer than you.
35:12And now she's the CEO of an entire corporation.
35:19And you?
35:21You're still nothing.
35:23So you think she's an upgrade?
35:26Of course she's an upgrade.
35:28Look what she got me for my engagement.
35:31Oops.
35:33Yeah.
35:34That's maybe worth one millionth the presidential contract I gave her.
35:43You gave her the presidential contract?
35:45I certainly did.
35:46In fact, Marissa, you and your dimwit brother
35:50only have everything you have all thanks to me.
35:58Oh, I think she's losing it, bro.
36:00That breakup must have hit her hard.
36:03You two are the ungrateful, cheating scum here.
36:07My granddaughter supported you and your entire family for three years while you were gone.
36:13How dare you insult her?
36:16It's okay, Grandma.
36:18Let's not stoop to that level.
36:21Poor Edna.
36:21She still doesn't know what you're doing out there on the streets, huh?
36:24What is he talking about, Jersey?
36:27Show her, Bob.
36:32This is how embarrassingly useless your granddaughter is.
36:36She didn't purchase this house on her own.
36:38She was begging on the street for money.
36:41I can't be caught with a piss-poor nobody like you.
36:45Even if you got no game, I got street cred I got out of keep.
36:48You dig?
36:48The word you're looking for is dignity.
36:51And you're one to speak, cheater.
36:55Is this true, Trixie?
37:00I've been broadening my horizons, Grandma.
37:03I want to see how regular, everyday people live so that I can help them.
37:08Of course, those without substance underneath would never understand that.
37:12What is that supposed to mean?
37:14It means the new girlfriend you think is an upgrade is actually a downgrade.
37:22Enough bullshitting already.
37:23Just sign the damn papers and we can each get on with our lives.
37:39At your wedding, I will.
37:41What?
37:42If you won't do good by me of breaking things off before two-timing me with my best friend,
37:47why should I do good by you?
37:49I'll give you my John Hancock at your wedding as a charity to you.
37:55Fucking bitch!
37:56You better keep your word.
37:58Oh, that's rich.
37:59After tomorrow, you will never feel so rich ever again.
38:03Do remember that.
38:11Trixie, Marissa's a millionaire now.
38:14They'll destroy you if you show even so much as a hair at their wedding.
38:18Grandma, I have to confess something to you.
38:21I've secretly amassed a fortune worth trillions.
38:25Trillions?
38:27That would make you the richest person on the planet.
38:32It's because of the healing hands I inherited from Asseplius, the god of healing.
38:37I've saved several world leaders with these hands.
38:40That's how I was able to give Marissa the presidential contract and become the goddess healer.
38:45It makes me angrier hearing her name knowing how she betrayed you.
38:50But please, Trixie dear, I know it was to broken your heart, but embellishing your worth and who you are,
38:58it will only delay the healing process.
39:01You don't have to believe me just yet.
39:03But after we lost mom and dad because we didn't have the money for their medical bills, I vowed that
39:10I would do everything I can to serve those in need.
39:13That's why I'm taking everything back from Butch and I'm giving it back to Charity.
39:17You've always had an angel's heart.
39:19I'm certain you will meet someone who will treat you right, who actually deserves you.
39:25You will see tomorrow, Grandma.
39:28Oh, yeah.
39:31Stop.
39:34You said Trixie's crashing at my wedding?
39:37She was bullying us too, Sasa.
39:39She's probably trying to extort you now that she knows you're rich as fuck.
39:44One hope when nobody steps on Snake.
39:46Snake bites back hard.
39:48So let her come and embarrass herself.
39:50Mia, you mean...
39:54We broadcast that video of me?
39:59Yes.
40:00Her cavewoman stick, the 19th century tin can.
40:03She'll prop me up higher on my pedestal and the whole world sees her in her homeless mess against my
40:08presidential glow-up.
40:10Let's turn this party into her funeral.
40:19There he is.
40:21Welcome home, brother.
40:23Welcome home, General!
40:27Sir, the homeless woman who saved you, Miss Trixie.
40:30This is the file of her ex, Butch Tanner.
40:32He served with your regiment in the Marines.
40:34You mean the Butch Tanner that could barely carry supplies?
40:37Well, she's been providing for him and his entire family while he's been deployed overseas, sir.
40:41So she waited for him for years, and then he betrayed her.
40:44Fucking coward.
40:45According to intel, she's planning to bring it down on them at their wedding.
40:49Then we should join her.
40:51Men, I'm only alive today because of that virtuous woman and her incredible power that saved my life.
40:56So she needs our support.
40:58Will you join me in protecting her?
40:59Yes, sir!
41:00We will allow our lives to protect her, sir!
41:03Well, let's roll.
41:17Woo!
41:19Welcome, everyone, to my wedding.
41:21Today is a very special day for me and Butch.
41:23Not only are we getting married, but in just one hour, my company will be receiving the presidential contract,
41:29allowing my biomedical company to go public.
41:35Congratulations on the contract once again, Mrs.
41:38Wakeham.
41:39Stowe, Butch is taking my last name.
41:41Oh, and please don't be so uptight, Secretary Cho.
41:44You are the secretary of the entire U.S. Health Department, but this is a partay, after all.
41:50I see some of the most important people in the nation have also arrived to celebrate you.
41:56The U.S. president will also be arriving soon to give you the contract herself.
42:01It's an honor.
42:03And that's why Sasa is the best wife a man could ever dream of.
42:08We will make sure the crowd is entertained tonight.
42:11We'll let the wedding begin!
42:14Not so fast.
42:16The party doesn't start until I say it does.
42:39You two really are a match made in hell.
42:42So I've come to save your guests from this oncoming train wreck.
42:46I don't recognize it from any of our elite circles.
42:49Who is she?
42:50Um, this is our entertainment for tonight, sir.
42:53Just watch.
42:57Trixie, what are you doing here?
42:58This isn't the homeless shelter.
42:59You lost.
43:00I bet she's here to bum a meal off us.
43:02You know, being this poor.
43:06Me, bum a meal.
43:08Have you forgotten that it was I who bankrolled you two for the last three years?
43:12And what evidence do you have of that?
43:13Look at me, then go look at yourself in the mirror.
43:16I'm a millionaire CEO.
43:18Even the first woman president will be here any second now to congratulate me.
43:23And you're nothing but a washed up sewer rat.
43:26Sasa, she's like so obsessed with me.
43:28She's like...
43:30See, everyone?
43:31Butch already cut ties with his ex, but she's so shameless and desperate that she'd still
43:37show up to my wedding to suck up to me.
43:39This is what poor, sad girls do.
43:42They beg for scraps from us, the rich and glorious.
43:47Projecting much, Marissa?
43:48You might feel all high and mighty now, but don't bite the hand that feeds you.
43:52Especially when I'm the one who's giving you the contract.
44:00You giving me the contract?
44:03You have no skills, no education, no connection.
44:06So how could you possibly have a pool to get the U.S. fucking president to give me a billion
44:12dollar contract?
44:13We both share humble beginnings, Marissa.
44:15And I saw potential in you.
44:17Even trusted you as my best friend.
44:19But I recognize now that greed has poisoned you.
44:23Don't be all sore now just because I stole your man.
44:26This is what us rich girls do.
44:29They steal from lame spinsters for fun.
44:32Damn right.
44:33You were too embarrassing for me.
44:36Sasa tramples you any day.
44:38I can say that now that I'm marrying the rich.
44:41Bravo.
44:42Self-admission of a gold digger.
44:44Quick, somebody put that on a memoir.
44:46Sasa, she's embarrassing me in front of everyone.
44:48You should make her sup.
44:49Don't listen to her, everyone.
44:51She's the gold digging, blood sucking leech.
44:53I don't even have to lift a finger and you're already embarrassing yourself in front of everyone
44:57for me, butch.
44:59You may look and sound like a man, but you're nothing but a pathetic coward.
45:04Okay, enough.
45:05You know what I always couldn't stand about you?
45:07Your moral posturing.
45:09But guess what?
45:11Morals are just lies to make you lame girls feel better about yourselves.
45:14That's why no man will choose you over Marissa Trixie.
45:18Because I've got the material goods.
45:20And you're just all empty talk.
45:22I'm not here to request to be chosen.
45:24Because I'm the one who's doing the choosing.
45:28See this?
45:36Oh my God.
45:37Oh my God.
45:38Oh my God.
45:38Oh my God.
45:38Oh my God.
45:40Oh my God.
45:41Is that the billion dollar contract or something?
45:43Yeah.
45:46The one that's supposed to make us all rich as fuck?
45:49No, absolutely not.
45:50I don't believe it.
45:52You all sound so scared already.
45:54Don't worry.
45:55This isn't that contract.
45:57It's the lease to the modest home you try to swindle from me.
46:03See everyone?
46:04She's just trying to bluff us.
46:06But you don't even have the guts to go all the way.
46:08Look at her following orders.
46:09I asked her to sign over the lease and here she is.
46:12Like a good little peasant slave.
46:15That house is worth all her life savings.
46:21You want to, uh, I don't know, beg for a little treat while you're at it?
46:34You must understand me.
46:36I'm here to take back everything I've ever given you.
46:39I'm giving it to charity.
46:48Bro, she's gone cuckoo in the head.
46:50She thinks that just because she rented a pretty little dress she can pretend to be a deep pocket
46:53and invest in baddie.
46:55You wish you had that kind of money to just toss away, Trixie.
46:57It's just a drop in the bucket for me.
47:00Uh, I know what this is.
47:02You've gotten delusional.
47:04And you think you're Cinderella so you can just show up to a fancy party
47:07and some Prince Charming will scoop you into money forever?
47:10Well, that's not happening.
47:12Security!
47:12Lock the doors.
47:13This woman doesn't leave until we're through with her.
47:19This is where your dreams will die, bitch!
47:24We found Miss Trixie Lysander.
47:26She's being cornered by her ex and his mistress at the Wickham wedding right now.
47:29Butch Tanner.
47:30Well, he's gonna wish he died in battle after I'm done with him.
47:34Let's go.
47:38You think a few toy guns scare me, Marissa?
47:40I've saved plenty of people from much worse.
47:44Including your head of command.
47:45Butch?
47:46General Lysander Armstrong.
47:49You mean the legendary war hero?
47:51He's been in a coma for years after he saved the nation from a terrorist attack.
47:55You're an unskilled, unemployed, ugly leech.
47:59So how could you possibly have this magical ability to heal someone like General Lysander Armstrong?
48:05No one here is gonna believe you.
48:06If you really cured the incurable general, then Sasa is the fucking Virgin Mary.
48:12And she's not.
48:13You're just asking to be humiliated, Trixie.
48:15You show them, Butch.
48:22See for yourselves, everyone.
48:25Trixie's just a reloading beggar.
48:29She won't leave me and Marissa alone, because we're rich as fuck now.
48:34I'm a major in the Marines.
48:36Sasa, she has a billion-dollar biomedical contract with the military.
48:42Approved by the first female president of the United States herself, bitch.
48:46How despicable.
48:48She's just trying to leech off you like a parasitic gold digger.
48:52Get out of here.
48:52No one wants to marry you.
48:54No free meals for the poor.
48:55Do you see this, Trixie?
48:58This is high society.
49:00So you're either born on a silver spoon, or you're as accomplished as me to be here.
49:04Maybe if you do some serious dick-sucking here, maybe someone will drop a couple bucks in your tin can.
49:13I already have everything one can dream of, but I valued our friendship, Marissa, which is why I came here
49:18to give you a second chance.
49:20To see if you'd apologize and admit to your backstabbing.
49:23But no.
49:24You stooped so low, it disgusts me.
49:28Nothing is more disgusting than you standing on street corners like a bum.
49:32And who knows, if you've already started offering sexual services.
49:37Well then, why don't you get on your knees for me, Trixie?
49:41My brother will never take you back.
49:44No man will marry an embarrassed man like you.
49:47But make me happy, and I might consider making you my personal prostitute.
50:03How dare you hit my brother!
50:04I'm never letting you leave here alive!
50:07That's awesome.
50:08I do something else.
50:10Don't worry, my dear.
50:11After I'm done with you, Trixie, not even the goddess of healing will be able to save you.
50:17Oh, is that so.
50:19Security!
50:22Get down on your knees, and give Bob one hell of a blowjob in front of everybody here,
50:27or I'll pop so many holes in you, the men here won't know which one to fuck.
50:31I don't need to be the goddess of anything to punish you.
50:35Any of the powerful leaders I've saved before could crush you before you even touch me.
50:39Dream on!
50:41You wish General Eisender scooped you off your feet, but you weren't good enough for me.
50:46You're definitely not good enough for him.
50:48Enough!
50:49You're souring my party, so you either get the fuck out, or I'm gonna shoot you.
50:54On the count of three!
50:57I think I quite like it here.
50:58Two!
51:09Mmm.
51:11This wine is so delicious.
51:13One!
51:14Shoot!
51:15Wait!
51:17Nobody is laying a hand on my future wife.
51:27It's...
51:27It's...
51:30It's...
51:37It's...
51:37Who the hell is this?
51:42I'm sorry that I'm late.
51:43Did they hurt you?
51:45No.
51:46I'm fine.
51:47But, um, when did I become your future wife?
51:52You saved me, Trixie.
51:54Remember?
51:55I'm a man of my word.
51:57They're never gonna hurt you ever again.
51:59Really, it was nothing.
52:01I saved you because you're a good man, not because I want you to owe me any favors.
52:11I see what this is.
52:13You're the one who cheated on me, Trixie.
52:15Look at you guys all lovey-dove.
52:17Don't try to pin this on her.
52:18She waited for you for three years.
52:20This is the kind of woman of virtue that a man would die for.
52:24Virtue?
52:26Don't make me laugh.
52:27She's probably out there giving blowjobs for cash.
52:30No man who in a hundred foot pole would want to touch her.
52:34She should be happy Bob was willing to give her some.
52:41I see her in the Marines.
52:44I'm a major.
52:45You know, look, man.
52:46I know Trixie is like, uh, I don't know, like a seven now that she's all cleaned up,
52:52but don't waste your manhood on a whiny, worthless woman like that.
52:56Ow!
52:57Ow!
52:58Ow!
52:59Ah!
53:00Ah!
53:01A real man never talks about a woman that way.
53:06You're a coward.
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