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The Boys S05E05 (ENGL SUB) | Brutal Power Struggle and Shocking Twists 😱🔥 Full Episode
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00:01They're up before dawn
00:03They got a thousand heads of cattle to herd
00:06It's hard work
00:08And strong coffee
00:09Old leather saddles
00:11And the worn stock of a trusty Remington
00:14And when the sun finally rises over the range
00:17The cowboys know
00:18America is God's country
00:20And Americans, God's chosen people
00:23So shouldn't we have our own church for Americans
00:26With American grit
00:28And American values
00:29Founded by the greatest American of us all
00:32A true American prophet
00:34Come home to the Democratic Church of America
00:37Come home to Homelander
00:39Already, the campaign's aided awareness
00:42Outpaces the norm by plus 22 points
00:45Led by white men and women
00:46Ages 36 to 54
00:48And 55 to 72
00:50We are also seeing massive growth
00:53On the ground level
00:54Yeah, I'm seeing massive growth myself
01:00Church attendance is up
01:02And our online donation CTR is at 44%
01:05That's a new record
01:06Amen
01:06Amen
01:07Next up is a 500 million ad blitz
01:12With OOH, e-blasts, print, and digital
01:15Ain't nobody won't know about the Democratic Church of America
01:19And its chosen prophet
01:24Prophets
01:25Are servants
01:27Of course
01:28Sir, great point
01:30We're just trying to ease people into it
01:32No, no, no
01:33We need to prepare America
01:35For my ascension
01:37You must be honest
01:38You must be direct
01:39I like Savior
01:41Or Lord
01:44Yes, I couldn't agree more, sir
01:45Religion's not about being meek
01:48We should dominate the seven mountains of society
01:52Bring the kingdom of heaven to earth
01:53Amen
01:54Amen
01:54Amen
01:55I love all that
01:56So fucking dope
01:57Easter's just around the corner
01:58How perfect would it be for your second coming to come
02:01On the day of Jesus' resurrection
02:05Second coming?
02:06Let's be clear
02:07I am not the son of God
02:11Well, of course
02:12Many people believe that Jesus is both God incarnate and the son
02:16Well, that's just confusing
02:17I don't want my church getting involved in all of that
02:20Exactly
02:21Besides, if we pull up our timeline, you won't have
02:25Yes
02:37We're gonna drag our feet because of a book
02:38Not a book
02:39The book
02:42The Homelander Bible
02:49Heavy
02:51It's got the Old Testament
02:53The New Testament
02:54And the brand new
02:56American Testament
02:58Written by AI
02:59Trained on the works of Pat Robertson
03:00See, we need to pass the torch, sir
03:02From Jesus
03:04To you
03:05Sir
03:06We don't get
03:07One chance
03:08At a first impression
03:09Are we really
03:11Gonna rush
03:12Something this important
03:13We need Arby's
03:15After all
03:17We're the Cheesecake Factory
03:24Okay
03:26We'll do it your way
03:29Thank you
03:31You do realize
03:32This kind of
03:33Sudden religious upheaval
03:35Is likely to generate
03:36Widespread civil unrest
03:37Local law should be able to handle the suburbs
03:39But we could use extra hands
03:41In major metros
03:41Oh
03:42Is recall all superstition of disease?
03:44American heroes
03:45Should be protecting America
03:46Not who gives a fuck a stand
03:47Great idea
03:56Something wrong
03:58Everything's peachy
04:05Well
04:06I can see why they call this
04:08The city that never sleeps
04:09How could you
04:10With all that racket?
04:12You're getting used to it
04:13You seem to
04:14If city life seems to suit you
04:16I guess
04:19I was surprised you called Reverend
04:20Well I was surprised you answered
04:23It's been a while
04:24And I said things
04:25I regret
04:25You both did
04:29You remember when you used to
04:31Stop by the church after school
04:32Use your powers to light our candles
04:35I remember staying for supper
04:37Oh man
04:38Those fish fry Fridays
04:41I never liked eating alone
04:42Well were you making sure
04:43I got at least one hot square a day?
04:48Reverend
04:48Is something the matter?
04:50I'm embarrassed
04:51To bug you with all of this
04:53But um
04:53The last couple of weeks
04:55Have been rough
04:56We've been bleeding congregants
04:57To the Democratic Church of America
04:59And what folks are sticking around
05:00They've shared
05:02Why?
05:03Because last Sunday
05:03Somebody um
05:04Melted
05:05Our stained glass window of Mary
05:07Melted it?
05:08Mmhmm
05:09It was their local soup
05:10Prairie mantis
05:13He
05:13Sprayed acid out of his butt
05:15I mean
05:15His
05:16His glands
05:16His whatever
05:17Yeah
05:17I know him
05:18It was a message
05:19I called the sheriff
05:21I called the mayor
05:22I called half of Florida
05:23You're all I got left
05:26Reverend
05:27I don't know what I could do
05:28You gotta be able to do something
05:30Your homelander's right hand
05:33Homelander's not too
05:34Keen on being challenged
05:38Why not just pay the franchise fee and join?
05:41Honey we can barely afford
05:42To pay our water bill
05:44Besides
05:45The Democratic Church of America
05:48God does not favor one nation
05:50Over another
05:50Doesn't he though?
05:51No
05:52Name one way God's ever blessed Canada
05:58Just cause homelander tells you
06:00That the sky is red
06:01Does not make it so
06:05You still have that
06:06That Jesus action figure
06:09Surprised you remember that
06:10How could I forget it
06:11You carried it with you
06:11Everywhere you went
06:12You almost worked face off the thing
06:14You still carry him?
06:16Yeah
06:21It's complicated
06:22No it's
06:23I don't think it is
06:26Homelander's
06:26He's a great American
06:27He can stop bullets
06:29He can fly
06:29Do amazing things
06:31Those aren't miracles
06:33And he is not God
06:37If you're the same
06:37Misty Tucker Gray
06:38That I taught the Bible to
06:39Overfish
06:40I think you know it too
06:56We ain't doing that again
06:58It's what you've said the last six times
07:00I really mean it
07:01The same
07:05You sing a little out of it
07:07Did you not?
07:08It's usually you not
07:13Will you baptize?
07:18Yeah
07:18In front of half of Chestnut Hill
07:20Over to Sproul did the honors
07:21My family kept up appearances
07:23Of course
07:24And we never set foot in church again
07:27I had lunch today
07:28With the Reverend who baptized me
07:29He used me getting heat
07:30To switch over to our church
07:33I think Homelander might be open
07:35To going easy on him
07:35Just
07:37Give him a little more time
07:39I wouldn't ask if it was just anybody
07:40But that man practically raised me
07:44So you didn't nut
07:48You know this whole Homelander is God shit
07:50It's
07:51It's fucking ridiculous
07:53Really?
07:54You think so?
07:55If he's a second coming
07:56Then what does that make me?
07:58Joseph?
07:58We talk about the biggest cook in history
08:00Man trades his best cow
08:02To bag some hot ass virgin
08:03And then God comes
08:05And squirts his baby gravy
08:07Up her meat wallet
08:08Fuck that
08:10I guess I've been struggling
08:12With where to place
08:14Homelander in my heart
08:15In relation to Jesus and the Lord
08:17Okay
08:19Of course I worship Homelander
08:20I mean
08:21He's always been a God to me
08:23Look I'll tell you this
08:24If there is a God
08:27Sure as hell didn't come out of my balls
08:30I gotta go
08:31Where are you off to?
08:33L.A.
08:35I fucking hate L.A.
08:40Homelander?
08:43Homelander?
08:46Hello?
08:50Does Homelander know you're here?
08:53Yeah of course
08:54Some of our church's followers
08:55Generously donated their milk
08:57For our savior's sustenance
08:58I mean he gotta get his liquid gold
09:00From somewhere am I right?
09:02You need something
09:03Where's Homelander?
09:05Oh what?
09:06He didn't tell you
09:07Yeah he had to fly off to L.A.
09:09Strange you didn't mention anything
09:10Well I've been real busy
09:12Working for his glory
09:13So not much time for chit chat
09:14Of course
09:15Look at us
09:16Regular Peter and John
09:17Just bearing witness
09:18And spreading the gospel
09:19Real blessing
09:20Amen
09:21A real blessing
09:23Oh uh
09:24By the way
09:25After our meeting
09:27I checked in on the timeline
09:28Of that Homelander Bible
09:30And uh
09:31The printers were happy
09:32To rush it
09:33To make Easter
09:34Well ain't you
09:35Full of get up and go?
09:37Thing is
09:37They said it wasn't a problem
09:39So I wondered
09:41Why you were so bent
09:42On holding it up
09:44I wasn't
09:46See I just wanted to make sure
09:47Everything was just right
09:49Listen
09:50If you are ever feeling
09:52Any doubts
09:53Come to me
09:55I could be a warm shoulder
09:56And a friendly ear
09:58Well bless your heart
10:02I'll do that
10:06What do you want to talk
10:07To Homelander about?
10:08Maybe I could help
10:09That is so
10:10Kind to you
10:13But what important
10:24What's up?
10:26Um
10:26Got a tip from our
10:28Southeast stringer
10:29Praying mantis
10:30Raided half a dozen churches
10:31In Daytona
10:33Was one of them
10:33Holy Baptist?
10:36The man upstairs wants us
10:37You
10:38To run with it
10:39Top of show
10:40He thinks with it being
10:41Your home church and all
10:42It'll make a strong statement
10:44So I'll have Chris
10:45Load the new graphics
10:47I gotta finish getting ready
10:57Welcome to Truth Bomb
11:00Our top story tonight
11:01Is a personal one
11:02It's the story of my hometown church
11:05Holy Baptist of Daytona
11:07It was the church I grew up in
11:08Sang my hymns from the pews there
11:10Every Sunday
11:11But that church
11:17That church
11:22That church
11:25Has become
11:27A hotbed
11:29Of starlighter infestation
11:32And my old pastor
11:34Reverend Greg Dupree
11:35Has been
11:37Infected
11:38By starlight seditious propaganda
11:44Now
11:47I never told
11:48Soul this
11:49But
11:49When I was a little girl
11:50The reverend
11:51Regularly
11:52Had me over
11:53For supper
11:54Alone
11:57Nothing ever happened to me
11:59But
12:01I heard stories
12:04About his
12:05Fish fry Fridays
12:06And
12:07If that ain't code
12:09For child grooming
12:10I don't know what is
12:13How much longer
12:15Are we gonna let
12:17These institutional
12:18Pedo churches
12:19Diddle our babies
12:23Americans
12:24Deserve better
12:27They deserve
12:29Homelander
12:32They deserve
12:35The democratic church
12:37Of America
12:52Something wrong
12:54Everything's peachy
12:58Would you like some
12:59Knee pads
12:59I'm sorry
13:00You're looking at me
13:01Like you wanna suck my hog
13:04So I'm asking
13:05If you would like
13:05Some knee pads
13:07Take it easy
13:08I'm a little guy
13:09You brought me
13:09Stan Edgar
13:12Thank you sir
13:13Thank you
13:33Harry kid
13:34B.G
13:35There's no B.G's
13:36Without me
13:37B.G means
13:38The brother's a kid
13:39Wait you think
13:39That falsetto
13:40Makes you boss
13:41I think Saturday Night
13:42Fever going platinum
13:4316 times
13:43Makes me boss
13:44We made that album
13:45Together
13:45Nothing
13:46Without me and Maurice
13:47Don't you dare
13:48Bring me to do this
13:51I don't know
13:51It feels inauthentic
13:52For Barry to move like this
13:53Oh yeah
13:57In what way
13:58Ego maniacs
13:59Like Barry
14:00Are really just insecure
14:01I think he's threatened
14:03By Robin's talent
14:03So maybe he expresses that
14:06By doing a barrel roll
14:07Instead
14:11Never mind
14:12Sorry
14:12I broke character
14:12I didn't mean to
14:13Yeah
14:15You need to apologize
14:17For being a fucking genius
14:19Are you fucking kidding me
14:21A barrel roll
14:22Holy shit
14:25It's brilliant
14:27Justin
14:27I don't know who you are
14:29Or where you came from
14:31Or anything about you
14:31But my god
14:32If you were not
14:33A fucking talent
14:34Well thank you
14:35No
14:37Thank you
14:39Let's take ten everybody
14:43Alright
14:46Lay down me Justin
14:47What do you mean?
14:48You're acting
14:49Up there
14:50Stop acting
14:50Stop acting
14:53Don't
14:54Act
14:55Don't
14:56Because I don't need an actor
14:59I need Barry Gibb
15:00You're right boss
15:01I'm sorry
15:02My process has been
15:03All over the map
15:04But this
15:05This thing is
15:05A little close to home
15:08Alright let me guess
15:08The egomaniac
15:09We're talking about
15:10That's someone in your life
15:11Someone I work with
15:12In my day job
15:14Alright what are you doing
15:15So quit
15:15There's no way
15:16This gig is more important
15:17Than the fucking theater
15:17I thought this guy
15:18Was my brother
15:19But he straight up
15:20Hijacked something I did
15:21And took all the credit for it
15:22Alright
15:25I've been trying to keep
15:26This on the DL
15:27But
15:29In addition to my theater work
15:30I also happen to be
15:31A massive feature director
15:32For Saturn Wars
15:34To prove it
15:34So I was working
15:35On this little film
15:36I don't know
15:36You may have heard of it
15:37Called Dawn of the Seven
15:38Billion dollar gross
15:39But who's counting
15:41There was this fucking guy
15:42The Deep
15:44He just kept
15:45Upstaging everyone
15:46With his trite
15:47Shitty improvs
15:49I thought he's a real baby
15:50He's a Jared
15:51Reto level baby bitch
15:53But you gotta put people
15:54Like that
15:55In their place
15:55Right
15:56So whoever's upstaging you
15:58You fucking upstage
15:59From right back
15:59Okay
16:00Yeah
16:01Alright
16:02You got this
16:02Cooler
16:07So great you're here bro
16:09Yes
16:10Well we need to
16:11Meet young men
16:12Where they are
16:13If we plan to
16:13Usher them
16:14Into the fold
16:15Of our lord
16:15Toots my goats
16:16So listen
16:17You know
16:18I've got some ideas
16:18About how to take
16:19This whole church thing
16:20To the next level
16:21Oh yeah
16:22So you know how
16:23Communion wafers
16:24Taste like dried shit
16:26What if they were
16:27Nilla wafers
16:28Instead
16:28Huh
16:30Oh yeah
16:31And if you could
16:31Throw in a commandment
16:32About how it's not cool
16:33To try and bone
16:34Another bros girl
16:36We have that
16:37That already exists
16:39Great minds then
16:40Eh
16:41Point is me and home
16:42Ender we go way back
16:43I know what he likes
16:43Doesn't like
16:44So you ever want to
16:45Bounce my ideas back
16:46Don't listen to him bro
16:48Oh shit
16:50He talks
16:51No he does not
16:51He's not trying to help you
16:53He's like those fish
16:53Who suck on whales
16:54You talking about a sucker fish
16:56He latches onto every new soup
16:57Starlight
16:58Me sage
16:59He pretends he's the guy
17:01But he's not the guy
17:02He's a joke
17:03That smell in his breath
17:04It's because he's been
17:05Clam diving
17:05On clams
17:06What
17:07I have not done that
17:08I have definitely
17:09Never done that
17:10Look
17:10If you really want to
17:11Impress Homelander
17:12Bring me on stage for Easter
17:13Homelander can heal me
17:14I'll get my voice back
17:15And then
17:16I'll fly
17:17You know I can fly right
17:18That's so fucking stupid
17:20Bro
17:20Well now
17:21I'm gonna have to run this
17:21By a Homelander
17:22But uh
17:22An honest to God
17:24Faith healing
17:24That's like a nine point bump
17:26With Pentecostals right there
17:29Goddamn
17:44There's my guy
17:46Little pep in the step
17:47Huh
17:49Sir
17:49I did what you said
17:51And I upstaged that
17:51Buckhead at work
17:53I'm proud of you
17:54Now that's exactly
17:55How I handled that
17:56Motherfucker Paul Rudd
17:57He's not who you think he is
17:58I appreciate that
17:59Oh boss
18:00You
18:00Oh my god
18:02Kid
18:02You know what
18:02Keep this between us
18:03But
18:03You know a lot of studios
18:05Hung you out to dry
18:06After they shelved
18:07Training atrium
18:08Oh yeah
18:08And at first I drowned
18:09My sorrows in crack
18:12Nitrous
18:12Huff and glue
18:13Huff and paint
18:13Paint thinners
18:14Cough medicine
18:14Guns
18:15High risk
18:15Sex
18:16Codeine
18:16You ever fucking codeine
18:20But that's not the answer
18:23This play
18:26It saved me
18:27You saved me
18:29Wow
18:30Thank you
18:31No
18:31Kid thank you
18:34Cause I got some big news
18:36We're going to Broadway
18:37Yes
18:38No more mindless studio bullshit
18:40I can finally be the artist
18:41I least dreamed of
18:41And you
18:42Kid you have no idea
18:43But you're gonna be
18:44A fucking star
18:45So you ditch that office kid
18:47Cause you and I
18:47We're gonna save the world
18:51With our talent
18:52Oh my god
18:52You have no idea
18:53How much this means to me
18:56I love you kid
18:59You start
19:00Your vocal warm ups
19:01Yeah
19:02I'm gonna drop a juice
19:09Fuckin' Tony Gilroy
19:11I'm gonna drop a juice
19:20Fuckin' Tony Gilroy
19:24Oh my
19:25Get him up
19:27Get him
19:35Come here
19:39Closer
19:44My ass hurts so fucking much
20:08Hey bro
20:09Don't you fucking hate bro me
20:10What the fuck is wrong with you
20:13Nothing
20:13Why
20:14What's wrong with you
20:15I call you a clam diver
20:16And you send an eel
20:17To ass murder Adam Bork
20:18Did something terrible happen
20:19At your play rehearsal today
20:20Which is definitely not your job
20:22The lead producer
20:23Stepping away
20:24They're shuttering the production
20:25Get it coming
20:27Fucker didn't use my improv
20:28In Donna the 7th
20:29He believed in me
20:30You fuckwit
20:30And for what
20:31Cause I fucking
20:32Upstaged you with
20:32Oh father
20:34This is gonna happen now
20:36You
20:37Are gonna fucking do
20:38Whatever I say
20:38Whenever I say it
20:39Or I'm gonna kill
20:40Homelander
20:41You're in some pussy play
20:43Which is a definite
20:44Conflict of interest
20:45Since
20:45Homelander outlawed
20:46The National Endowment
20:47For the Arts
20:50You have nothing to say
20:52Nice
20:53You're gonna hang
20:54Any of the miser technique
20:55Huh
21:02Hey buddy
21:04Good boy
21:05Good boy
21:10You wanna fuck me
21:12You wanna fuck me
21:14Like a good boy
21:15I really love you
21:30Hold on
21:32What are you doing
21:32Frenchy won't cook my steak
21:34Pasadena rare
21:35And I like mine burnt
21:36With ketchup
21:37Okay
21:37And why are you telling that
21:38I have
21:40Maybe we just don't like
21:41The same
21:43Steak
21:44You know
21:47Jesus Christ
21:48Has Butcher ever
21:50Washed this thing
21:51That thing is like
21:52Glazed in dog semen
21:53Like a cum donut
21:54Cum nut
21:55Did I just
21:56Uncut a new word
21:57You know what
21:57I'm gonna do a still a favor
21:58And wash this
21:59Terror
22:00Your boyfriend is about
22:01To become a virgin
22:01All over again
22:03Good boy
22:21What the fuck is that
22:23You finally building yourself
22:24A fuckbot
22:24Something me and Frenchy
22:26Working on
22:28Preparation
22:28I'm planning my son
22:29One of my fucking business
22:30Got it
22:31Yeah
22:31That's the one
22:32Any leads on bum site
22:33Not a damn thing
22:34He's an unbreakable cum
22:35That flies through the air
22:36How old can it be
22:37Well if it's so easy
22:38Why don't you look for him
22:40I've had every single
22:41Dead end and then something
22:42How about legend
22:43That old bastard knows everyone
22:45He's in the wind
22:45If I had as much shit on fire
22:47As he did
22:47I'd fuck off too
22:50Oh shit
22:50Wait wait wait
22:51Hey
22:52Terror no
22:52Hey
22:53Get down
22:53No terror
22:54Wait wait wait wait
22:55No
22:56You can't have no chocolate
22:58Yeah get your own chocolate
23:05What?
23:06Green Mississippi room
23:07Bloody hell
23:08I never thought I'd see the guy
23:09It's got a fucking pubic ear on it
23:11I know
23:11Tasty too
23:12Hmm
23:16You know what's funny
23:18Here we are
23:19Parked in the middle of hell
23:21And I've never slept
23:23Or shit so good
23:24My entire life
23:25What's different?
23:26Hmm
23:26Like you
23:27I just finally realized
23:29That I'm already dead
23:31And once I just
23:33Gave up that stress
23:34Of needing to stay alive
23:35It's like
23:37Shit got easier
23:38I spent my whole life
23:40Going after Soldier Boy
23:42For what he did to my family
23:43Yet
23:44He's immortal
23:46He's immune
23:49What kind of fucking cosmic joke is that
23:52So you tell me Butcher
23:54Why should I keep going?
23:56Well
23:57You keep going from the knee
23:59To the knee
24:00They're better off without me
24:01How can a man so smart
24:03Be so fucking daft?
24:04They are
24:05And I'm better off without them
24:08Because if I thought that there was a snowball's chance in hell
24:11Then I might see him again
24:15Then I might be too scared to do
24:17What you and me both
24:18Need me to do
24:37Oh
24:38Bonsoir
24:40Mon tutu
24:40You wonder what am I doing?
24:43Oh well first
24:44I made Kimiko
24:45The perfect
24:47French rebuy
24:48You know
24:49She loves my steak
24:50And for dessert
24:52My souffle en chocolat
24:54It's a thing of legend
25:03You know she wants one of you
25:05To
25:05I don't know
25:07What is it that you do?
25:10Eat, sleep
25:11Or fetch
25:12Ha ha
25:13I stir the wall
25:15You bring it back
25:16I stir the wall
25:17You bring it back
25:18It's a nightmare
25:20It's a nightmare of futility
25:21What would I do with one of you?
25:24I've killed every plant I've owned
25:26I'll surely kill you too
25:28Really?
25:32She deserves peace
25:36A normal life
25:39But I
25:39But I
25:44I don't know how to give her this
25:49If I even can
26:07I need fresh air
26:09You wanna come?
26:10Outside?
26:11No?
26:13Okay
26:18If you and M.M. still think
26:20Oh for fuck's sake
26:21You knock it off
26:21With this V1 shite
26:22You're doing me fucking head in
26:25Oi
26:26Terrah
26:27Cut it out
26:28Come on
26:28Now listen
26:29If we do find that stuff
26:30We're not making any fucking vaccines out of it
26:32Alright?
26:33We're not the department of fucking health
26:34We burn this shit
26:35Before our lender gets his paws on it
26:36And that's it
26:37Well if you wanna kill yourself
26:38Knock yourself out
26:39But why do you have to decide for the rest of us?
26:40Oh cause I'm fucking right
26:42Cause I've always been right
26:43I've been telling you lot
26:44From the fucking start
26:45The sky has fallen
26:47And guess what?
26:48The sky fucking fell
26:49Well you kinda helped bring it down
26:50Oh don't give me that bollocks
26:52Listen
26:53Homelander thinks he's a fucking god
26:55Once he becomes a mortal
26:56He's gonna start killing like one
26:58And we are talking millions of people
27:00Now you're telling me
27:01You're honestly happy
27:02To risk all of that
27:03For a life on the run
27:05With your girl
27:06Knowing
27:07That you could have stopped it
27:11You can live with that
27:12Can you?
27:14What if it was Becca?
27:18You just let her die?
27:24Or to let her die
27:27Look
27:28I know that Homelander comes first
27:31I really do
27:32All I'm asking
27:33Is that we try
27:36Annie and Kimiko deserve that much
27:41Oi
27:41Sarah
27:42No
27:43Oi
27:43Get out of there
27:44Oh bloody hell
27:45Is that chocolate?
27:46Isn't chocolate bad for dogs?
27:48For a dog this soda's fucking lethal
27:49Oi
27:49First of your cup
27:50Get me some hydrogen peroxide
27:52Would ya?
27:52We have some in the first aid kit
27:53Give me one second
27:54What happened?
27:55You poisoned me fucking dog
27:57No
27:57What's going on?
27:58No no no no no no
27:59All you need is chocolate
28:00We should call that
28:01They're gonna tell you you need chocolate
28:02Guys we got this
28:02Just give us some room
28:03I'll hold us enough over
28:04You pull
28:05Right on the count of three
28:06One
28:06Two
28:07Three
28:07Sorry buddy
28:09There you go
28:11That's all right
28:16Good boy
28:17You're gonna be all right
28:19Boy
28:21Fucking hell
28:26Hey
28:27You want some turkey?
28:30Well first you gotta fuck me
28:33Then I'll give you the turkey
28:40Oi
28:42There he is
28:43Hey
28:44Oi
28:45Hey were you having a dream were ya?
28:47Was it a goodie?
28:50How's he doing?
28:52Yeah
28:52He's alright
28:54Thank you for uh
28:56Yeah
28:57It's all good
29:08Oi
29:09Oi
29:10Joey
29:13Listen uh
29:15If we do
29:16Find that B1
29:17And if it don't fuck us
29:21You can have some
29:25For anything though
29:27I'm coming on
29:28What about you?
29:32Oi
29:32But as soon as Frenchie's got that shite sorted
29:34We're using it alright?
29:36Really or not?
29:48What you looking at?
29:52Nothing
29:57And as for you
29:58Don't you ever fucking do that to me again alright?
30:01Good boy
30:03Now
30:04I caught Blondie trying to give you a white place to boil wash
30:08But I'll know how you love the crunchy bits
30:10Usually I do want to know how you love those crunchy bits
30:12Yeah
30:24You do realize
30:25This kind of sudden
30:27Religious upheaval
30:28Is likely to generate widespread civil unrest
30:30Local law can handle the suburbs
30:31But we could use extra hands in major metros
30:33But well
30:34Recall all the superstition overseas
30:35American heroes should be protecting America
30:38Not
30:38Who gives the fuck us down
30:40Great idea
30:52Where to?
30:53Prime Analytics
30:59That was thrilling
31:00Wasn't it?
31:02What a bright future we have ahead of us
31:05It was a real Gucci-only piss party
31:08Imagine how much more exciting it'll be when Homelander becomes immortal
31:14Have you found Blondie Wad?
31:18No
31:19Homelander hasn't gotten anything out of Stan Edgar
31:21No, but I haven't had a crack at him yet.
31:34Jesus, give me a little personal space, will ya, Garth?
31:3824-7 agents must be hard for someone so into scat play.
31:41You realize I do actually work?
31:43I was this close to convincing the FCC to pull every broadcast license but VNN.
31:47Paul Lander feels this is more important.
31:51What now?
31:52The President and I stand by this decision.
31:54We need our American soups here in America.
31:57Well, isn't it kinda sorta your fault for being invaded?
32:00You might as well have been wearing a short skirt.
32:02Man, those Ukrainians sure have a fucking mouth on them.
32:06Remember, you're doing the Lord's work.
32:08Words out. Vodstock is tanking.
32:10The international markets are in freefall and you're not the least bit concerned.
32:13It's not about what I think.
32:15It's what the man wants.
32:18It's always what the man wants.
32:24You want a drink?
32:26So we're at the climate change summit in Reykjavik,
32:28where the Swiss Chancellor says we should all race our Gulf Streams.
32:31The amount of CO2 we splooched out.
32:33The air was chewy the next day.
32:35Lolz.
32:40Come on. What do you want from me, Sage?
32:42What makes you think I want anything from you?
32:44You haven't called me the poster child for late term abortion once today.
32:46Truth be told, you're not the one I want.
32:49I know you know what Homelander's doing.
32:52He's going after the V1.
32:53Wait, what?
32:54And if he gets any.
32:56He lives forever.
32:57What is V1?
32:58And what do you mean Homelander lives forever?
33:00I've done what I can to make sure he doesn't find any.
33:02How do you know about this and I don't?
33:05Have you two been talking without me?
33:07Homelander is an open baby book, but Soldier Boy is tricky.
33:10I need you to read his mind.
33:11What he knows, where they're headed next, and most importantly,
33:14if Soldier Boy is warming up to his sadistic-
33:16Well, glad.
33:18Okay, I'm in.
33:20The fuck you are?
33:21We are not conspiring against Homelander.
33:23Hey, don't forget the Aung San Suu Kyi quote tramp stamped on our ass.
33:27The only real prison is fear.
33:28No, the only real prison is prison.
33:30Ashley-
33:31What do you think happens to you if I die?
33:33I'm not about to risk my neck because I let an overgrown boyle do my thinking for me.
33:38Okay, fine. Just stay.
33:40Why? So you can play more mind games?
33:42You gave me your answer. I heard you.
33:44Now, don't make me drink alone.
33:49I'm starving.
33:49Are you starving?
33:51I'd kill for a chalupa right now.
33:53I'd kill for a big juicy dick.
33:54Oh, you should call Gavin. His greek was amazing.
33:57And oh man, the amount of spunk he shot back here, we looked like Pepe Le Pew.
34:00Well, you're not booty calling my high school boyfriend.
34:02But he was so sweet, and mom loved him, remember?
34:05Yeah, well mom's dead, so she doesn't get a say. And neither do you.
34:08What happened to her?
34:09Cancer.
34:10My grandmother, too.
34:12What was she like? Your mother?
34:15Tiny.
34:17Terrifying.
34:18This one bitch Harper Hewitt used to make fun of my nose.
34:21So my mom tells Mr. Hewitt that Mrs. Hewitt has been railing the UPS guy.
34:26Which she was.
34:27That was mom.
34:28Bringing a nuke to a knife fight.
34:33So they moved.
34:34And the rest of kindergarten was no sweat.
34:37My folks shot me out with V.
34:39Thinking I'd be a meal ticket.
34:40And then my power turned out to be smarts.
34:43Which is the worst fucking one.
34:44Try knowing what everyone really thinks of you all day.
34:47Ooh, trust me.
34:47The thing people hate more than just about anything is feeling stupid.
34:52So, when a three-year-old corrects your grammar, or, oh, tells them their life dream yogurt shop is doomed
34:59to fail, they start to hate you, too.
35:00At least my parents did.
35:02Until they dumped me at my grandmas.
35:04But...
35:04Grandma.
35:05You know, she was the only one who ever thought it was a gift.
35:09I would quote Othello to her.
35:11Word for word.
35:12And...
35:13She'd clap.
35:15And laugh her big laugh.
35:19I'm still so pissed she is gone.
35:23I used to want to be like my mom.
35:26Strong.
35:27Pushy as fuck.
35:29Didn't take shit from anyone.
35:30You still can.
35:32If you help me.
35:36Fuck you.
35:38You knew about my mom the whole time.
35:39You drew it out of me just to soften me up.
35:41Did it work?
35:42No.
35:42This is my fucking problem with you.
35:44I know you've been working some big plan all year.
35:46How am I supposed to trust you if I'm just a pawn in your fucked up chess game?
35:50Alright.
35:52If I tell you?
35:53Will you help me?
35:54I would heavily consider it.
35:56Helping Homelander take control of the country is phase one.
35:59It was only ever the beginning.
36:01Phase two is the end.
36:02The end of what?
36:03The world.
36:05After this soup killing virus is released.
36:07Wait.
36:08You want it released?
36:09Oh.
36:09You bet I do.
36:11After soups realize humans are behind it, all hell will break loose.
36:15Soups butchering humans.
36:17Virus butchering soups.
36:18Fucking world war soup.
36:20I don't believe you.
36:21Swear on my grandma's soul.
36:23Why would you possibly want that?
36:24Because I'll be watching for my cozy bunker outside Colorado Springs.
36:28And when it's all over, I can read all day every day.
36:33No one bothering me.
36:36Nothing but peace and quiet forever.
36:40Which is why Homelander can't survive.
36:42That needy asshole would never give me a moment's rest.
36:46It defeats the whole purpose.
36:48Don't worry.
36:49You're invited to my bunker.
36:51You too, Ashley.
36:56Fuck.
36:59Would you like some knee pads?
37:01I'm sorry.
37:01What?
37:02You're looking at me like you want to suck my hog.
37:06So I'm asking you if you would like some knee pads.
37:09Go easy on the little guy.
37:11You brought me a stand anchor.
37:12Thank you, sir.
37:13You may leave.
37:24What crawled up your shithole.
37:25No idea what you mean.
37:27When you're pissy.
37:29You tend to make everybody else's lives pissy too.
37:32Stan Edgar.
37:33I'm still sown walling you.
37:35I've talked to him three times now.
37:36Says he has no idea where the V1 is.
37:38Heart rate.
37:39Steady as a rock.
37:40I'm starting to believe him.
37:41That slippery fuck.
37:43Used to fetch my cocaine.
37:46You know what?
37:48I have an idea.
37:51Why don't I take a crack at him?
37:55What, you don't trust me?
37:56Well, you did lock me in a room with nuclear material and tried to stop the gang of V1.
38:02So I'm sure you can understand my hesitance.
38:06You could have killed me at Fort Harmony.
38:08But you didn't.
38:09Maybe I feel like I owe you.
38:10Or maybe lying.
38:12Maybe.
38:17Give me an hour.
38:19I'll meet you at it yourself.
38:30My, my.
38:31Now the mighty have fucked themselves square in the ass.
38:35Don't shit where you eat stand.
38:37So you've called in reinforcement?
38:38I wanted to see the prick that sold me out to the Reds.
38:41He wasn't personal.
38:42It was a business decision.
38:43We had your replacement model on the way.
38:45Even as a toddler.
38:47Homelander showed more promise than you ever did.
38:50Not that it amounted to much.
38:52When have you ever done anything remotely interesting or original?
38:59My power is absolute, Stan.
39:02At heights no one's even dreamed of.
39:05I call that pretty fucking original.
39:07Nothing that the lowest speck of this pointless species couldn't have thought of.
39:11Were they to be granted your level of power.
39:14Why?
39:16Am I still alive?
39:18Because you're useful, Stan.
39:21And I always wanted a pet.
39:22Perhaps.
39:23Or is it because you are so desperate for daddy figures that you can't even bring yourself to kill the
39:28ones who hate you?
39:30At least that's something he and I have in common.
39:33Do you want to die, Stan?
39:40Jesus.
39:41You'd get pregnant with all the eye-fucking.
39:45Tempe, Arizona.
39:46Is that supposed to mean something?
39:48Well, I had the eggheads and crime analytics track down your granddaughter, Zoe, and her dad.
39:54They're in Tempe, Arizona.
39:59So, where is the V1?
40:04As I told you, I genuinely don't know.
40:13But, I may know someone who does.
40:16You should go and see Mr. Maramond in LA.
40:19He's always had an intense interest in Vought's history.
40:24It should be a delightful reunion.
40:30Hooray for Hollywood.
40:32That's screwy, ballyhooey Hollywood.
40:35Go out and try your luck.
40:37You might be Donald Duck.
40:39Hooray for Hollywood.
40:40Homelander, it's really good to see you online.
40:43But, you know, what brings you by?
40:44Relax. We're just there to talk.
40:46Yeah, great. Awesome. I sold you, boy.
40:48Wow. Big fan, sir.
40:49I actually popped my cherry in your underoos.
40:52Nice.
40:53So, you were part of the Seven?
40:54Oh, I was. I was.
40:56You know, until this one replaced me with a train.
40:58Check it out. Come on.
40:59Well, you're only the world's fastest man as long as you're the world's fastest man, champ.
41:03And you got slow.
41:04It was one race.
41:05You never gave me the chance to win it back, boss.
41:11Hey, check this one out.
41:13Gross 35 mil.
41:14On a 200 million dollar budget.
41:16These aren't even VOD films.
41:17What's the difference?
41:18These were made where washed up soups go to die.
41:21Sony Pictures TV.
41:22It's a legit studio.
41:23And I save half on their TVs.
41:25And maybe we're not part of the official VCU.
41:27And maybe we can't mention VOD or, you know, any licensed VOD hero.
41:31But, hey.
41:32Still making magic.
41:34Yeah.
41:34And I, uh, messed up a little bit.
41:36On the side.
41:36Low pills.
41:37Whatever you need.
41:38Fastest dealer in town.
41:39Alright, come on.
41:40The gang will be psyched to meet you.
41:46Did you guys hear?
41:47They rounded up Aziz, Macaulay, Joaquin, Kiefer, Meryl.
41:50I also heard they got Benedict.
41:52Wong or Cumberbatch?
41:53Oh, fuck!
41:53I know, dude.
41:54What the fuck, Malchemical?
41:55Get your boys in check, huh?
41:56Just because I'm a soup doesn't mean I truck in that fascist shit.
41:59We need to do something.
42:00Camera point.
42:01Why?
42:01Because we're storytellers, dude.
42:03Our superpower is we inspire hearts and minds.
42:05Look at the characters we create.
42:06Luke Skywalker, Katniss, Condi.
42:09Oh, bitch, please.
42:09Come on, like Mark Hamill, J-Law, and Sir Ben Kingsley do anything but collect their fucking residuals.
42:15They're very engaged.
42:16Look, here's what we do.
42:17We all post about this simultaneously on Instagram.
42:20Yes.
42:21Black squares on the main feed.
42:22Black Lives Matter did black squares.
42:24Fuck.
42:24You're right.
42:25We do blue squares on the grid, because blue lives matter.
42:27I wouldn't post that.
42:28Is there any color that hasn't been taken by some fucking group?
42:31What about white?
42:32Brown.
42:33Oh, ooh, ooh.
42:34I'll get Lena Dunham to write an editorial for The Atlantic.
42:37Oh, that's a great writer.
42:38She's a great writer.
42:40She's a great writer.
42:40She's very persuasive.
42:41Whatever fuck sticks.
42:42Look, best day of my life was when they executed Hager.
42:45Right?
42:45More offer onlys for the forte.
42:47Hey, do we think Michael Cera's a starlighter?
42:49Because we're up at the same part right now, and it'd be pretty good if he got Vanish.
42:51You've been friends with him for 20 years, Chris.
42:53Yeah, but I really need this part, man.
42:55Hold on, hold on.
42:57What's up?
42:58Homelander.
42:59Soldier Boy.
42:59Wow.
43:00I'm Will.
43:01Remember me?
43:01I'm the one who turned in Channing Tatum.
43:06Seth Rogen.
43:07We actually met once before with Black Noir at the premiere for Silent Vengeance 3, Vengeance Reloaded.
43:13Big fan.
43:14I'm actually testifying in front of Congress for you, you know, outing suspected starlighters.
43:17Spoiler alert.
43:18Post Malone.
43:20You need to get the fuck away from me right now.
43:22You bet.
43:22Yeah.
43:24We came here looking for something.
43:26What do you know about V1?
43:30Come to the right place.
43:38Here you go.
43:42Oh, yeah.
43:43Well, I yanked that one from newsstands after Kent State.
43:47Good times.
43:48How'd you end up with it?
43:49Some old bitch on eBay.
43:50I paid 20 bucks.
43:51I mean, it'd go for half a mil at auction.
43:53Easy.
44:01Yeah, Dr. Vogt was a titan.
44:04A visionary.
44:05He was a pansy.
44:06With a German accent and sweaty palms.
44:08He was a complicated guy.
44:17Do you, or do you not, have V1?
44:21I don't.
44:23But Bombside does.
44:24He does.
44:26That piece of shit's still alive.
44:27Yeah.
44:28He was my best customer for a long time.
44:30What makes you think he has it?
44:31One night, he was tweaked out of his gourd and he told me he has some and I believe him.
44:34Where is he?
44:35Me and Bombside are so cool.
44:36Why don't we all just hang out for a sec and I'll call him.
44:39He'll fly right over.
44:47Let's get this up in Bogota where you were taking the best.
44:49You mean for the soldier boy?
44:51Nothing but the best.
44:52Hmm.
44:57Seth?
44:58Oh, no.
44:59I actually hate weed.
45:00I just pretend to like it from my brand so I can sell ashtrays to suckers.
45:06Yo, Homelander!
45:08You wanna hit this?
45:10It is my life goal to smoke you out, homie.
45:15Don't call me that.
45:19Homelander, it's good to see you again.
45:23Do I know you?
45:24Yeah.
45:25We met like six times.
45:27Malchemical.
45:28Make Deadly Gasses.
45:29Did that whole campaign with Gasex.
45:34That's embarrassing.
45:36Homelander is still as weird as he was when I was there.
45:38Well, I wasn't there back then, but...
45:40Yes.
45:41Let's get this one.
45:42One time, at Ledoux, Misha Barton wanted to sock him off, right?
45:45He spent two hours talking to her about Nietzsche, then left when she stepped on his cape.
45:49Oh.
45:49That fucking cape.
45:50Like a baby with a blanket.
45:52Huh.
45:52Pretty sure he jerks off into it.
45:54Probably why it's so stiff.
45:55Huh.
45:56Say that again.
45:59Oh, can't you take a fucking joke?
46:04Say it again.
46:07If not as much.
46:08If bombsite's not coming, I'm leaving.
46:10He's on his way.
46:10Be here any minute.
46:11I swear.
46:15Nah, I'm done.
46:18Oh shit.
46:19By the way.
46:20Hey.
46:21I heard you all.
46:22And I want you all to know that very soon, gentlemen, you are going to pay for your sick
46:27posts and your hateful memes.
46:30Especially the memes.
46:34No, no, no, no.
46:35It was Camille and Seth's idea.
46:36What?
46:37Fuck you.
46:38He was fucking his idea, man.
46:39If he is just fucking your dick so you can help his shitty fucking career.
46:42Take him, okay?
46:43Shit, I'll take him out for you right now.
46:44Oh really?
46:44Yeah.
46:45You want to take me, bitch?
46:45I'm fucking joking.
46:46Really?
46:47Okay, we're taking you.
46:48Make of this work.
46:48Stop!
46:50He really should have dealt Michael Cera.
46:54I'll let her.
46:56Sorry, quick question.
46:57What?
46:58Oh, for fuck's sake.
47:05Who's memorable now?
47:06What the fuck?
47:07Easy, easy, easy.
47:08Can we fuck off, please?
47:09Chad, McGruber, everything's cool.
47:11Hey, man.
47:11We don't have a problem with you.
47:12Honest.
47:12But fuck this fucking guy.
47:14You know?
47:15He fucked my life.
47:16If you help us get rid of him, then we all win.
47:18And you, you can have the seven.
47:20And I don't even really care if you bring me back or whatever.
47:23I don't need to kill him to get the seven.
47:24No, yeah, of course not.
47:25But what about all that creepy shit he's doing to that church?
47:27I mean, they're rounding up everybody cool.
47:29All the hookers, the drug dealers.
47:31They want to ban porn.
47:32I mean, they want to ban fucking abortions.
47:34Okay, well banning abortion wouldn't be a big problem for me personally.
47:37Exactly, for all of us.
47:39So if we kill him, we can stop worrying about being cops or gods or asexual weirdos.
47:44You know, we can go back to fucking and being fucking awesome.
47:48Look, we know you've got that fucked up chest blast thing.
47:50I mean, I was at Hero Gas and I saw it.
47:52Just finish it.
47:53Now, take away his powers so we can curb stomp him while we have the chance.
48:03He is a fucking asexual weirdo.
48:05Yeah, yeah.
48:07But as much as it pains me to say this,
48:10he's my fucking asexual weirdo.
48:15Nobody fucks my son but me.
48:18What?
48:19That came out wrong.
48:21Gah!
48:25Ow!
48:27Ow!
48:30Oh, fuck!
48:40Damn trail need to stick to acting up top and fuck my shit up.
48:44Soldier boy!
48:48911, what's your emergency?
48:50Yeah, please send police right now.
48:51We're gonna...
48:52I don't know the actress.
48:53Do you know the actress?
48:54I don't know the actress.
48:54Oh, fuck.
48:55Fuck.
48:56Shut up, shut up.
48:57I'm not gonna kill you.
48:58I'm gonna get you out of here what you need to do exactly as I say.
49:07Don't, don't.
49:12Fuck!
49:22No!
49:22No!
49:22No!
49:23No!
49:29What's he doing to beat me?
49:31What's that?
49:33Fuck!
49:34Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
49:35This isn't bad.
49:36Well, uh...
49:38I didn't mean to.
49:41It's gonna be okay.
49:42I'll remember you every time I watch an American Pickle.
49:46What?
49:47What?
49:48What?
49:50Oh, shit.
49:50Oh...
49:51Aw.
49:54Oh, shit!
50:07Oh...
50:09Oh!
50:11Oh!
50:14There is more than one of the skeletons in the этом being...
50:25Does Bombside really have it?
50:28Fuck you!
50:29I'm gonna put your balls off and stuff them down your throat.
50:31That'd be like trying to shove two grapefruits through a garden hose.
50:34Does Bombside have the V1?
50:39Yes, yes, okay, yes.
50:41That part was real.
50:42It's a fucking god, man.
50:43He's got it.
50:43Where is he?
50:44I don't know.
50:45Where the fuck is he?
50:45I don't know.
50:46I haven't talked to him in like five years of swearband.
50:47I swear to god.
50:48Please.
51:00What happened?
51:02I took care of it.
51:06Why?
51:08Because fuck them.
51:10That's why.
51:12I don't think this micro prick was lying.
51:14Bombside has to be one.
51:16I'm just gonna find him.
51:19Also, um...
51:22I've been fucking firecracker.
51:25But...
51:26Out of respect for you, that's, uh...
51:29That's done.
51:31Plus her pillow talk was...
51:33Gonna be a real drag.
51:36Pillow talk?
52:05Home lander.
52:09How was L.A.
52:10How was L.A.?
52:12Did you catch Annette's truth bomb?
52:14I did indeed.
52:16And it was a real barn burner.
52:18Well done.
52:18Thank you, sir.
52:19That means the world.
52:22How's sex with my father?
52:26Is he good at it?
52:28Are you thinking about me when you're making love to him?
52:34I never meant to cross a line or offend you.
52:37Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
52:38Don't fret, little one.
52:39I don't care about the sex.
52:41Really.
52:43I do care about your little chats after sex.
52:46Sir, whatever soldier boy told you, I can assure you that I...
52:48You mean your inner turmoil when it comes to me and, uh...
52:56Jesus.
52:57Are you thinking of Jesus when you're praising me?
53:00No, you are my one and only savior.
53:03Say that, but your jagged little heart is wearing like a hummingbird.
53:11You're supposed to worship me.
53:13Love me.
53:15And me alone.
53:17I do.
53:17I believed in you.
53:19Turns out...
53:21You don't believe in me.
53:25I need you to collect your things.
53:28And leave.
53:31But I do believe in you.
53:33I love you.
53:35I am the only one here who ever has.
53:38I gave you everything.
53:40I gave you my soul.
53:42And everybody else here, they're just...
53:43They're just scared of you.
53:45Or they want something from you.
53:47But I have always loved you for you.
53:52Just the strongest.
53:54Smartest.
53:56Best man on earth.
53:58Man.
53:59No, no, no, no, no.
54:00God, no.
54:01No, me.
54:02God.
54:03My Lord.
54:05That look you used to get when you'd suck on me.
54:08I felt like Mother Mary herself.
54:10I felt blessed.
54:13To nourish someone as...
54:15Important as you.
54:20But nothing I ever did was good enough, was it?
54:23You cast me out of the cold.
54:26Which was so much worse than ever feeling your warmth in the first place.
54:30So all I have been trying to do is to get you to see me the way that you used
54:35to.
54:37Hell, the only reason I was with Soulja Boy was because your reflected light is better than the light at
54:44all.
54:45Please, sir.
54:48I love you.
54:49I love you.
54:50We all need love, don't we?
54:53Even God.
55:02I love you.
55:04I love you.
55:14I love you.
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