- 2 days ago
The Burbs S01E01 [Full Movie] [Full Storyline]Full EP - Full
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:58Transcription by CastingWords
01:28Transcription by CastingWords
01:30Oh God, I don't want to go back to work.
01:32You and Mars aren't going to have too much fun without me, are you?
01:34My maternity leave is going to be spent watching a window like Bravo,
01:38learning the choreography.
01:44I don't like that one bit.
01:50Stroll's over.
01:56Are you sure that house is empty?
01:58Yeah, right.
02:42When I wake up in the morning, love, and the sunlight hurts my eyes, and something without warning, love, that's
02:58heavy on my mind.
03:01Then I look at you, and the world's alright with me, just one look at you, and I know we're
03:16gonna be...
03:18Shit, shit, shit.
03:21Wait! Wait!
03:26Stop! Stop! Don't leave me with these diapers!
03:36I forgot.
03:40Nice to see you, back on Asheville Place.
03:43What? Why you don't... you don't remember me?
03:50Sorry. Never been good at remembering faces.
03:53Ah, that's alright. Yeah, I always liked this street. You hear the thing about cul-de-sacs?
03:59There's only one way out!
04:03Have a great day, Robert.
04:06Okay. Bye now.
04:09Shh.
04:23They're okay?
04:25The things I do for you.
04:30Like moving here.
04:42Do you want me to stay? I can call Nina, tell her I need another week.
04:47What are we watching?
04:49How long has that house been empty?
04:5120 years. Give or take.
04:54You don't think that's weird?
04:56Not really. I'm sure they've got a good reason for hanging onto it.
04:58So there's a they. Who's the they?
05:00You know, whoever owns it.
05:02Okay, shrug night.
05:04So you never thought about it?
05:05What? No, not really.
05:07Whatever. I know you gotta get to work.
05:09Naveen and I are catching the same train.
05:11The train pooling, he's calling it.
05:12But say the word and I'll stay.
05:14No, no, no. I gotta rip the band-aid off some way, somehow.
05:16It'll be me, myself and I. And Miles.
05:19Together, alone for the first time.
05:20No friends or family nearby, but that's why it's good.
05:24Yeah, cause I'm... I'm not worried at all.
05:27You're giving me some very mixed signals here.
05:29I know.
05:31Get on train.
05:32I love you so much.
05:33Mm-hmm. I love you too.
05:34I love you too, little man.
05:35And you can call me anytime, okay?
05:37I'm the guy saved in your phone as White Bob with the black thumbs up emoji.
05:41And it'll never change.
05:44Try to get out of the house today.
05:47What do you mean?
05:47I love you too.
05:48Make a nigga spend it cash in.
05:49Make a nigga spend it cash in.
05:52Its landshand.
05:52Hold a clown with a passion.
05:54Can I help you?
05:59I'm sorry?
06:02Uh...
06:03Should he be listening to this?
06:05Well, he can't understand the words.
06:09Babies absorb these things.
06:12Right.
06:13Oh.
06:15Oh.
06:16You must be Rob Fisher's wife.
06:19Oh, I heard you were back here to live.
06:25Well, this is fabulous.
06:28I was wondering when I would get to meet you.
06:31I don't get out much.
06:33I'm Lynn Gardner.
06:34I'm Samir and that's Miles.
06:37Aw.
06:38He looks just like his mama.
06:41Samira.
06:42Such a pretty name.
06:44Is it African?
06:46Yes.
06:47Fascinating.
06:48I just live catty corner if you ever need anything.
06:52And you must come to Wine Night.
06:54It's just a bunch of friendly neighbors dabbing and guzzling on my porch and they are dying to meet you.
07:01I'm breastfeeding, unfortunately.
07:03Oh, pump and dump, my darling.
07:07Welcome to Ashfield Place.
07:18Hey.
07:19Hey.
07:20I got a very important question for my big sis.
07:23Mariah.
07:24Whitney.
07:25Janet.
07:27Or Beyonce.
07:28When you gotta go?
07:29I'm not about to fight with you today.
07:31Well, that's not a fight.
07:31I miss you.
07:33How's my apartment?
07:34Well, if you're referring to the artist currently known as my new apartment, it's divine.
07:40Look, girl, your taste is impeccable, okay?
07:41And these views?
07:43Exquisite.
07:43How's my nephew?
07:44Cute as hell.
07:45Oh, yes, he is.
07:48Because we're twins.
07:50And see, that's why you go off FaceTime.
07:53And how is Hinky Mountain?
07:55Hinkley Hills is Caucasian.
07:58That's the burbs, babes.
07:59Am I a bad mom for bringing my melanated son out here?
08:03I don't know.
08:04Are you a bad mother for accepting a very nice house in a very nice neighborhood where
08:08there's practically no crime?
08:09Really nice schools?
08:10I mean, make it make sense.
08:11I just feel so isolated.
08:14I mean, every day is the same thing.
08:16I don't know what I'm doing.
08:17And I don't have anybody to teach me how.
08:19Well, you know she's looking after you.
08:21That's what daddy say, but you can't teach somebody how to swallow a baby from heaven.
08:25Amen to that.
08:26How am I gonna get through maternity leave?
08:29I mean, I thrive in collaborative environments.
08:32I need structure and tangible goals.
08:35Bitch, I don't speak resume.
08:37I speak housewife.
08:39This is what you do.
08:40Pick up a little day drinking habit.
08:41Maybe a little pill habit or something.
08:43Something cute.
08:43Yeah.
08:44Hard to do when you got a tit gremlin.
08:46Yeah, you could have kept that one.
08:48Well, baby, you just need some friends.
08:50I have friends.
08:51I mean, in a 10-mile radius.
08:52None of your neighbors ain't no potential there?
08:55Uh, no.
08:56It's a who's who of who's not it.
08:58These people are crazy.
09:00Well, I'm just spitballing, though.
09:01I know.
09:02I know, and I appreciate you.
09:03And I love you.
09:04And I'm gonna come and visit you soon.
09:06Okay?
09:08And I know you would have chapped Mariah.
09:09I don't know her.
09:11Love you.
09:12Bye.
09:15Naveen?
09:19Look at us.
09:21Train buddies.
09:23Commute comrades.
09:25Megan filed for divorce.
09:26What?
09:27She was waiting for me when I got home yesterday.
09:30Suitcases at the bottom of the stairs.
09:31Like, out of a bad movie?
09:34Shit.
09:35Said she's been unhappy for a long time and wants to start over while she still has her youth.
09:39Said she can't stand another day of my moodiness.
09:41I'm not even...
09:44I'm not even that moody, Rob.
09:49She's fucking her dentist.
09:51Dr. James.
09:53The only one who takes my insurance.
09:54So that's fucking great.
09:56I should have known she was getting way too much dental work done for someone who has perfect teeth.
10:01She does have great teeth.
10:03Right?
10:03Two cleanings in a week.
10:04She said she needed to get a filling.
10:06Oh.
10:07Fuck.
10:09Remember what you said at my bachelor party?
10:11No.
10:12I was drunken on three different classes of drugs.
10:14We were in Miami.
10:15My jaw was in Texas.
10:16You grabbed my face.
10:18And you said,
10:19Never trust a Megan.
10:22Nostradamus, motherfucker.
10:23I should have listened.
10:24I'm sorry, mate.
10:26Anyway, let's talk about you.
10:28Enough about me.
10:29How's the little man?
10:30Oh, God.
10:31He's the best.
10:32Perfect.
10:33I mean, he doesn't sleep.
10:34And he shits like a trucker.
10:36But wouldn't change it for the world.
10:38Nice.
10:39And Samira?
10:42She keeps asking questions about the house across the street.
10:47Really?
10:48Yeah.
10:53What'd you tell her?
10:56What is there to tell?
10:58Yeah.
11:23What is there to tell?
11:32you know what you are absolutely right
11:35i attempted to leave the house today during daylight hours yes and i met lynn she's exactly
11:50as you might have described nosy an extremely abstract sense of personal space yeah that's it
11:56and um she invited me for drinks with the neighbors she did you should go little man i
12:02can get some qt i think i might i want to see who i'll be there
12:1020 years huh so you you must have known them who the grants da what so you did know them
12:16you're doing that thing what thing that thing you do when you get a little obsessed
12:22it's the lawyer in you you lock in remember your ramen conspiracy i know it wasn't ideal to get
12:27banned from the local bodega but i still stand by my theory that they were running drugs with
12:31instant noodle cups it was right there i mean you were 100 onto something i mean they didn't
12:36even have a bodega cat what kind of bodega doesn't have a bodega cat babe i'm not being obsessed okay
12:40just humor me so tell me what you know about the creepy house family they lived across the street
12:48from us does anyone ever really know their neighbors yes i knew my neighbors first and last name we was
12:53all up in each other's business you did okay oh by the way speaking of being all up in each
12:58other's
12:58business megan left naveen so i guess i owe you 10 bucks you always call it also even worse
13:05shagging the dentist what yes oh my gosh never trust megan that's what i said do that's right
13:13allegedly babe please don't leave me where am i gonna go oh yeah you're a trap now
13:23love you honey love you too and if a cheater won't be the dentist thanks babe that means a lot
13:29somebody we don't know
13:30wow
13:39the next time that beast uses my lawn as its personal port-a-potty i am gonna get out my
13:45glue gun well break out the crayons and color me thrilled it's samara so close come come come
13:53sit sit sit uh oh this is rob fisher's wife oh from across the streets
13:59dana richards is the name it's very nice to finally make your acquaintance likewise samira
14:06samira oh i'm so bad with names we haven't seen you around before we were starting to think that
14:12rob made you up no no i'm real just a new reclusive mom with leaking nipples
14:19now dana is a retired marine oh very distinguished lots of metals wow also i'm a real handy handy
14:28i have noticed not to be nosy but uh you have some spots on your fence that are pretty effed
14:34up and i
14:35can fix those for you i'm here for it because the only screwdriver i'm familiar with contains vodka
14:40oh and here's todd hi hi todd is a man of few syllables i don't think i've seen you around
14:48here
14:49before you've been keeping tabs on us through the window jimmy stewart which one of us is the murderer
15:00your face i'm sorry it's okay we all know that suburbia is a spectator sport you you have not seen
15:09me
15:09my home shares no sight lines with yours and i keep out ours what do you do this and that
15:19what do you and rob do i'm a civil litigation attorney hello sheeo i don't know what that is but
15:26good for
15:26you yeah rob is a book editor oh how'd you meet him a kate renata concert actually kate renata
15:33i'm going to look her up let me know what you find rob seems like he's romantic he is so
15:40how long
15:41have you guys lived here well for me just a couple years i wanted something with nature but
15:46my wife's idea of outdoorsyness is like a restaurant with a patio so this was our compromise
15:53and then she got deployed she's in military too cannot confirm or deny honestly despite what two
16:02decades of daytime television tell you there are a lot of people that don't care for middle-aged
16:06lesbians but i felt welcome for the most part i've been here eight months and ten days
16:13that's precise she's been here for freaking ever not as long as some marty and i moved here 15 years
16:21ago marty i can't wait to meet him um unfortunately he passed oh lynn i'm so sorry i thank you
16:29heart attack it's been almost half a year but i still feel his presence every day
16:39anyway these wine nights really help it's it's a bit like family that's right when you have
16:46neighbors you're never alone even when you want to be how'd you city kids end up here oh well rob's
16:52parents i'm sure you guys know they uh retired to one of those timeshare cruise ships last month
16:57that's a choice not mine but a choice well they had been asking us to come out here we didn't
17:02want
17:02to leave the city but our building got broken into we just felt like maybe we should we should try
17:08it out at least temporarily well thank goodness you're safe and sound here with us so what's the
17:16deal with that victorian house chainsaw massacre satanic cult uh jilted bride who severed the head of
17:24her lost unfaithful lover it's haunted as shit the lights go on and off all the time by themselves
17:32i've seen that it could just be filthy wiring a skeptic i like it when you're the resident
17:38historian catch her up well it was a little before my time a family lived there the grants yes and
17:46they
17:46had a daughter who died in the house there have been whispers of mysterious circumstances surrounding
17:56her passing maybe even murder and then the parents moved away and never sold the house
18:05so it just sits there rotting pissing off the hoa god i would give my left tent to go over
18:14there and
18:14do a little ghost hunt hi everyone it's cookie time it's like she just knows when my sugar drops
18:21rory likes to prey on vulnerable shard sippers business is much more lucrative in this neighborhood
18:27than in mine the usual and keep the change honey hey i saw a stroller at your door i am
18:33a great
18:33mother's helper if that's something that might interest you how old are you 13 next month i have
18:37my cpr certification and badges in child development early literacy and swaddling swaddling okay sunflower
18:44scouts my business card feel free to reach out anytime you're a notary public
19:08it's like they heard us after all this time we'd love a plot twist
19:27you'd really like this podcast it's two guys talking about medieval construction tech you are
19:32so boring you're so hot when you cook thanks babe how are the neighbors uh good a bit weird yeah
19:39well
19:39this is a cul-de-sac what's wrong with cul-de-sacs people are weird i think people are waiting
19:44cul-de-sac wait is it cul-de-sac like attorneys general this given get out yeah i hear you
19:50look
19:52when my family first moved here some people didn't know how to feel about us but it's a nice area
19:57and
19:58people like to think of themselves as nice so they try to act nice until they're actually nice
20:04that's nice don't get me wrong i was still a sad little kid until i found my people by his
20:10people
20:10he means an awkward gangly tween with a funny accent that had just been dragged across the pond
20:15for his dad's new job funny accent what are you talking about dude your accent pulled still pulls
20:20if we're being honest you know the girls called him prince rob i don't think that's true it's so
20:25true did you know the victorians for sale really i'm assuming that's what the for sale sign means
20:33yeah that would indicate that so why didn't you tell me somebody was murdered there
20:40what are you talking about the grant girl
20:44yeah right allison wasn't murdered that's just small town gossip allison
20:50so what happened to allison
20:54i honestly like it was so long ago that i i don't remember a lot from that but you did
20:59know her
21:01uh yeah but in the same way that anybody knows a neighbor why wouldn't you tell me that
21:07because i didn't think it was relevant babe it was like 20 years ago there's a reason they call
21:12hinkley hills the safest town in america okay well is there anything else you want to tell me about
21:28this place
21:29completed in 1902 hinkley house was built by hinkley hills founder h horace hinkley
21:36the mining magnet and philanthropist purchased 25 000 acres of hillside forest in 1898
21:43and developed it into the thriving suburb that bears his name today hinkley hills is more than
21:51just an idyllic bedroom community it is a shining example of fellowship and family values
21:56pinklee hills the safest town in america
22:00pinklee hills the safest town in america
22:07pinklee hills the safest town ist america
22:17a
22:29Here we go.
22:37Hello, how may I help you?
22:39Do you have a periodical section?
22:40Collections of old newspapers, microfiche maybe?
22:43I'm doing okay.
22:44Thank you for asking.
22:46I'm sorry.
22:47I am a new mom, and I'm practically feral.
22:50I understand.
22:52Oh, what a cute little mocha munchkin.
22:56To answer your question, yes,
22:59we have bound copies of all the Hinkley Hills Heralds
23:03dating back to 1946.
23:05Is there a particular date you're interested in?
23:08March 15, 2005.
23:11One moment, please.
23:30I'm afraid that March volume has been checked out.
23:33Really?
23:33It's due back in a week.
23:35You can come back for it then.
23:37It's a date, Judy.
23:58Bill, you missed a spot, dear.
24:15Oh, shit, she about to tell her.
24:18Mm-mm-mm.
24:19It's not even her house.
24:22What's she feeding her dog?
24:27She's going to be mad when she gets cussed out.
24:29Spokes me.
24:32Oh, my goodness.
24:38You are not going to believe this.
24:42Oh, my gosh.
24:44I know.
24:45So are we going to go in?
24:47Do white ladies love salads?
24:48Hell, yeah, we're going in.
24:50BRB, I'm going to go get Lynn.
24:51Rob, honey, if you were awake, I would have asked what you thought, but oh, oh, well.
25:03I just got a chill.
25:06Anybody else got a chill?
25:12I'll do it.
25:13I was going to offer, but it seems like you already offered.
25:18Oh, it's stuck.
25:20Oh, well.
25:42Everybody be cool.
25:45I cannot be less cool right now.
25:49This place looks like a museum or a mausoleum.
25:54Oh.
25:55That's why the lights are on at your stage in the house.
26:00Hiya, homebuyers.
26:01How can I help you?
26:02We are looking for an enormous house for our niece.
26:07Um, we would love a tour.
26:11Follow me.
26:13The owners have instructed that interior photography is not permitted.
26:17This is the library.
26:21This is the library.
26:21Very tasteful.
26:22We enjoy literacy.
26:24All of the flooring is original to the house, which is built in the Queen Anne style.
26:28As you can imagine, a little love and a professional sander will go a long way.
26:35Oh, feel free to show yourselves around.
26:37Excuse me.
26:38Hello there.
26:38Welcome.
26:40They discriminate against older female buyers.
26:42This always happens.
26:43Oh, please.
26:44Our niece, you're a really bad liar.
26:47Well, I had to get him to take the bait or he might have thrown us out.
26:50Well, it's an open house, so by definition...
26:52I'm going to peek around.
27:27This is the ugliest kitchen I've ever seen.
27:40Oh, no.
27:52When did you get here?
27:56Okay.
28:36That's creepy.
28:47Oh, absolutely not.
28:52Everything okay, ma'am?
28:53Yes, I'm good.
28:55Great house.
28:55Beautiful house.
29:13Can you believe it?
29:15After 20 years...
29:16End of an era.
29:17So, any intel on our new neighbors-to-be?
29:21It was an all-cash deal.
29:23Quick escrow, too.
29:24Hmm, they must have really wanted it.
29:26He.
29:27Just he.
29:28Go on.
29:29A doctor.
29:30How'd you find that out?
29:32I have my ways.
29:33He installed a security system, which, in my expert opinion, is overkill for a private residence.
29:39You'd only need a security system that robust if you are in danger or you have something to hide.
29:46Or both.
29:47I've never heard you say so many words at once.
29:49Well, I wish him luck with the Munster mansion, and I hope he has a good contractor and a good
29:56exorcist.
30:10Ready?
30:10Oh, I'm good.
30:13What's up?
30:14You're here.
30:15What?
30:18What?
30:19Bye.
30:21Bye.
30:21Bye.
30:23Bye.
30:24Bye.
30:25Bye.
30:25Bye.
30:26Bye.
30:27What time is it?
30:292 a.m.
30:32Something's not right out there.
30:34Okay, that is so weird.
30:40Is that...
30:41No.
30:51Oh!
30:56Yeah.
30:57Uh-uh.
30:58That was about the new neighbor.
30:59But I'm sad and starving.
31:01Too bad.
31:01I'm being nice.
31:02Isn't this the kind of place where the neighbors act nice until they are nice?
31:06I did say that.
31:07Yes, you did.
31:08Your mother's up to something.
31:10What?
31:10I just want to know what his deal is, don't you?
31:12Maybe he doesn't have a deal.
31:14A guy moves into a dilapidated haunted house at 2 a.m.?
31:17Come on.
31:18He definitely has a deal.
31:20That is weird, weird.
31:21When did you pick that up?
31:23Ninja.
31:25Ninja.
31:52Ninja.
31:54Ninja.
32:15Ninja.
32:23i got him five minutes on the left boob and he was out like a light that's great babe great
32:28it's
32:29a miracle okay if he can go to sleep when it's dark outside in a stationary position that is a
32:33game changer a life-affirming moment what are you looking at your brownies are still there
32:42wait really why won't he eat the goddamn brownies
32:47maybe he doesn't with gluten then throw them out and give us the plate back that's a good
32:51plate it doesn't make sense everyone likes brownies they're the beyonce of dessert and if they don't
32:57they're just being contrary jinx maybe you just didn't see you put in there the camera was on on
33:04sorry i just love it when you get all lawyery order in the court oh council please approach the bench
33:09i object is there anything else you've noticed curtains opening and closing could he be watching
33:14us definitely could be i think we better
33:23he always knows no i got too cocky i flew too close to the sun and now he's punishing me
33:28like a tiny
33:29vengeful god it's all right i'm gonna go driving around okay
33:37i'm coming i'm coming
33:42thank you
33:45be back in a second love you love you get some rest
34:01fuck it
34:06reclaiming my plate what's he think he is not eat my brownies i love my brownies i eat my damn
34:14self
34:42he can keep the damn place
34:48be back in the middle of my house
35:31Is everything all right?
35:32Hands where I can see him.
35:34What's happening?
35:35We got a call about a trespasser at the old Grant House.
35:38I guess who matches the description.
35:40Hey!
35:42What the hell is going on?
35:43New owners said they saw a black person skulking around the property.
35:47This is a big misunderstanding.
35:49Is it?
35:50Because apparently it happened twice.
35:51I was just dropping off brownies.
35:53This is my wife.
35:54In our house, where we live with our son.
35:57Fuck off.
36:00Robert Fisher.
36:02Danny Daniels.
36:03From high school.
36:05I heard you move back.
36:09Baby, it's okay.
36:10Mommy's...
36:11Sorry, man.
36:12You know we gotta take the call.
36:13This is nuts.
36:16Consider this drop, my good man.
36:21Yeah, don't worry about it.
36:22They all kind of look like that at that age.
36:26Robert Fisher.
36:28As I live and breathe,
36:30you folks have a great evening.
36:36Did you just thank the cops?
36:39Oh, shit.
36:41But...
36:42What's wrong with me?
36:44Sorry, babe.
36:47We can't live across the street from someone like that.
36:50I mean, what would have happened if I hadn't gotten there when I did?
37:00What's up, man?
37:00This is some bullshit.
37:02That freak, Nark, will rue the day he stepped foot in Hinkley Hills.
37:05Yeah, just used rue the day in a sentence.
37:08You're welcome.
37:13Todd told me what happened.
37:14I heard it on the police scanner.
37:17What the hell?
37:18What do you need, babe?
37:20You need some wine?
37:21How about some ice cream?
37:22You want a hit, man?
37:23I know people.
37:24I'm people.
37:25Say the word.
37:26Okay, we can hold on the ladder, but I could use some wine.
37:30Yeah, that's the cure-all for all.
37:31Even racial profiling?
37:33We share your rage.
37:35He will not last long here.
37:38Spoken like a true hater.
37:39I love this energy, my dude.
37:40Oh, there's the sommelier now.
37:42Oh, Rob.
37:44This is lunacy of outrageous proportions.
37:47We won't stand for it.
37:49Should I get some glasses?
37:50Yes.
37:51I got it.
37:51Please, make your stuff.
37:52Yeah.
37:54Shove over.
37:55I think we should all sleep here tonight.
37:57Safety in numbers.
37:59Hunker down.
37:59Someone should always be on watch, right?
38:01Like in the Marines?
38:02Yes, I will be out front the entire time.
38:05Okay, good.
38:05I've had a lot of coffee, so I'll stay up all night.
38:09Sleep out there like a dog.
38:10Todd, we gotta, like, stick together right now and form an alliance.
38:15Right?
38:16I'm a lone wolf.
38:16Is that a united front?
38:17I've got some big-ass flashlights.
38:19I'm gonna bring over about a ten of them.
38:20Do you have stuff that you brought home from the Marines?
38:22I have a lot of stuff in the garage.
38:24I just have to remember the password for that case.
38:27Oh, wow.
38:42Are those fireflies?
38:46Yeah.
38:48I always wanted to see fireflies growing up, but you can't see them in the city.
38:52It's like spotting a fairy in the wild.
38:58It's not fair.
39:01I was just starting to feel at home here.
39:05There's space.
39:07And a community.
39:12I damn sure don't want to drag no stroll up four flights of stairs.
39:24I think we should stay.
39:27I want Miles to have fireflies.
39:30And our family's not gonna be run out by some racist, brownie-hating prick.
39:39We're doing this.
39:41Hell yeah, we're doing this.
39:54Coming in?
39:56In a minute.
39:59I want to smell this sweet suburban air.
40:01Come on.
40:33Oh, shit.
40:49Oh, shit.
41:36Oh, shit.
41:39Oh, shit.
Comments