00:29Transcribed by ESO, translated by —
00:59Transcribed by ESO, translated by —
01:00We use over 300 tons of ice to create the hotel, and guests are surprised to know how much snow.
01:07Over 10,000 tons.
01:09Wow, that's a lot.
01:10Luckily, Norway has plenty of snow and ice.
01:15These blocks were created by carefully smoothing the ice on our river as it freezes, then harvesting it for storage
01:25in a nearby cave.
01:28Everything we see melts in summer.
01:31And we have different artists and artisans help us build again each year, so every stay is truly once in
01:38a lifetime.
01:39And here we have your room.
01:45The Koi Suite.
01:51Wow.
01:53Oh, it's frisk.
01:55Our guest's suites are slightly warmer than the rest of the hotel.
01:59About three degrees below zero.
02:01Not too, too cold.
02:04It's quite invigorating when you're used to it.
02:08As we say, you will feel some plummen i egg, like a yoke in an egg.
02:14Okay, that's adorable.
02:15Some plummen i eggen?
02:18That's very good.
02:20These fish were hand-carved by famous Norwegian ice sculptor Anna Szegestad Ryd.
02:26He won the Boreal Forest Prize at the Harbin Ice Sculpting Competition last year.
02:30Beautiful. Isn't that beautiful?
02:31The bed is made of ice?
02:33Yes, isn't that charming?
02:34And I highly recommend trying our complimentary house brandy.
02:38The bed is made of ice.
02:39It is distilled locally from ice wine, and I assure you it is quite special.
02:44Ice.
02:45Helen.
02:46We are sleeping on an ice bed.
02:48I could have saved that hundred grand and frozen my eggs right here, jokes and all.
02:52Now, one more thing.
02:53Your bathrooms are around the corner, in the hall to your left, and if you keep going in
02:58that direction, you get to our hot tub deck, which is always open.
03:02As I'm sure you've noticed, the sky is quite wonderful this time of year.
03:06Anything else you need, please do not hesitate to let me know.
03:10Thank you, Bjorn.
03:12Oh, thank you very much.
03:14I hope you both have an enjoyable stay.
03:16Good night.
03:18Excellent.
03:19Good night to you also.
03:20Okay.
03:29This is amazing.
03:31How did I not realize that the bed would be made of ice?
03:36We just flew 16 hours to get frozen like Walt Disney.
03:39Walt Disney wasn't frozen.
03:40That's a myth.
03:41And look at this place.
03:43It was worth the trip.
03:45I mean, do we absolutely have to go every wacky place Rick Steves recommends?
03:49I mean, would it be so bad to stay somewhere that's not an experience, but just a really
03:55nice hotel?
03:56Canopy book?
03:58Doesn't it feel kind of nice?
04:01My skin feels so awake.
04:04Oh my God, seriously?
04:08Who knew?
04:09Hell is in Norway.
04:10Oh, come on.
04:11This is completely your bag.
04:12You love feeling bad.
04:19What are you doing over there?
04:20Looking for your cell phone.
04:22Val should have numbers by now.
04:23Oh, I already talked about the airport.
04:25Come over here.
04:26Get under these blankets.
04:27There's something.
04:27You talked about?
04:29What did she say?
04:34It's on the list.
04:36Congratulations.
04:38Good.
04:39Great.
04:40Yeah.
04:40Now come over here.
04:41Have some brandy.
04:42It's so good.
04:44Where on the list?
04:45Oh, God.
04:46Stop it.
04:46It's a bestseller.
04:48I know.
04:48I'm just curious where.
04:50Top 20.
04:52Top 20?
04:53Yeah.
04:54But like closer to 11 or closer to 20?
04:57You're impossible.
04:59You're the most impossible bestselling author I know.
05:03Come over here.
05:04Why?
05:05Just come here.
05:07Look at this.
05:10That is amazing.
05:15Oh, God.
05:16I always wanted to see it.
05:17One time in Canada I came close, but this is so much better than I ever imagined.
05:25Kind of looks like a screensaver.
05:26Oh, yeah.
05:26Stop.
05:27Stop.
05:27Stop.
05:28Sit.
05:31Here you go.
05:33There.
05:34Isn't that warmer?
05:35Warmer than what?
05:39You can almost hear it, can't you?
05:44Oh, it's turning purple.
05:49Look at that.
05:54Guess what?
05:56Sitting on a block of ice makes you feel like you have to pee.
05:59Okay.
06:00So pee.
06:01Yeah, but is the toilet going to be made out of ice?
06:03What if I stick to it?
06:04Here, don't pee, but shh.
06:35I feel like I'm in a bus, but we move on.
06:35I'm here to bealerty.
06:35I'm here to be.
06:35I'm here to be, I'm here to be.
06:36A-a-a-a-a-a
06:38A-a-a-a-a-a
06:39A-a-a-a-a
07:06Uh, this is your captain speaking. Fingers crossed, hopefully we've seen the last of that rough air. Should be smooth
07:13sailing for a while. So we're gonna go ahead and turn off that fasten seatbelt sign.
07:19Feel free to move about the cabin, Carol.
07:48May we get you anything? Nope. Uh, who's flying today? Carol. On the flight deck is Captain John McConnell. And
07:57also, First Officer Tom Deegan. These individuals have a combined 51,619 hours of flight time.
08:04And between the two of them, they've piloted every variant of this capable and trustworthy Airbus A330 aircraft. You're in
08:11good hands.
08:14That's weirder than the gal from TGI Fridays. You doing this because she freaked me out?
08:18Uh, that's an affirmative, Carol. Please stop that.
08:22It's much more spacious up in first class. Sure you wanna be more comfortable there? It has live-flat seats.
08:28You could get some rest.
08:29I'm fine when I'm out. Thank you.
08:54Back in Spain, that was all the English speakers, right?
08:57Anyone with conversational ability, yes.
08:59Tell me about the non-English speakers.
09:01Certainly. What would you like to know?
09:03Anything. Everything.
09:05Well, let's see. There's Bora Kolak, a 60-year-old candy vendor in Istanbul. He speaks Turkish in Los Cats.
09:12In Bali, there's Aida Udui, 23, speaks Indonesian Balinese. She's a contortionist and a dancer.
09:20Performs the barong, the lagong, jibog. It's all quite exquisite.
09:24I'm sure. Keep going.
09:25Uh, Sidona Melis, in Sardinia, is a fisherman. Or he was, but he's 89 and retired. There's Mary Cuxiacintola, lives
09:34in Masaru Lesotho.
09:35What, what does she do?
09:36Her family raises Basura Ponius, but she's only eight years old. She hasn't decided on the profession.
09:42Next.
09:44Abdul Karim Al-Shari lives in Aiden, Yemen. He's a 37-year-old muezzin.
09:49Muezzin, that's a... What is that?
09:52He sings a cult of prayer. He has a powerful tenor voice. He also loves cats.
09:59Okay. But are there any medical doctors, any, any scientists or an expert of some kind?
10:07Oh, yes. According to Time Out Magazine, Takeoki Tanaka Nosaka makes the best Udo noodles in the entire Keihanshin in
10:14Mexico.
10:14That's not what I meant. Nope.
10:17Alright, that makes, what, um, six. So, you didn't say anything about the guy from, uh, where was it? Uh,
10:27Paraguay. What about him?
10:28Uh, his name is Manuso Zoviedo. We weren't aware of him for the first 33 hours. He manages a self
10:34-storage facility in Asuncion. So far, he hasn't really communicated with us.
10:42Ha. I want to talk to him. He only speaks Spanish. And a bit of Guarani. Do you want us
10:48to translate for you?
10:49No. I'll manage. First thing, once I get home.
10:55We could try him right now, if you like.
11:14He's been a bit reluctant to get in contact.
11:33Try it again.
11:54Uh, hola, senor? Ma'amu?
11:58I think... I think we got, uh, cut off or something. Try him again.
12:22Hello, I'm Carol Sturka. Uh, I'm from the United States.
12:29It's...
12:35Get him back.
12:39Get him back.
13:01We're sorry, Carol. We don't think it was personal.
13:04No.
13:04No.
13:11No.
13:12No.
13:19No.
13:37Hi, Carol.
13:39Really, please let us know if there's-
13:43Carol, one...one second.
13:46We have something for you.
13:54we gathered all the mail that was in transit for you
14:00we think you're really gonna like what's in the box
14:12anything else we can do for you just just let us know
14:22so
14:32so
14:32so
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18:56so
18:57so
18:57so
18:59so
19:01your
19:01your fridge
19:02your fridge
19:02was pretty
19:02bare
19:03you've
19:03only got
19:04tonic water
19:05half a carton
19:06of oat milk
19:06a jar of green
19:07olives
19:08a jar of black
19:08olives
19:09a jar of red
19:09olives
19:10I told you
19:10Helen was
19:11off limits
19:11yes of course
19:12Carol
19:13so
19:13how the
19:15how do you know
19:16what is in my
19:17fridge
19:18Teresa
19:19for merry maids
19:20you had them
19:21clean up just
19:22before you got
19:22home from the
19:23book tour
19:24is the food
19:25not to your
19:25liking
19:26would you like us
19:27to make you
19:27something else
19:28instead
19:28nope
19:32I want you
19:33to leave me
19:33alone
19:52shows what
19:53you know
19:53fuckers
19:54it's three
19:55quarters of a
19:55carton
20:08all right
20:09so
20:09and
20:09I
20:10I
20:10I
20:22I
20:23I
20:25I
20:25I
20:25I
20:25I
20:34What the fuck?
21:05What happened to my sprouts?
21:06Are you the Grinch who steals supermarkets?
21:09So sorry.
21:10We're consolidating resources to centralize useful items for distribution.
21:15Food, medicine, anything helpful from stores or businesses or what used to be private homes.
21:20It's just more efficient.
21:23Fine. Fine.
21:25I get it.
21:26Is there something specific you need?
21:28We can deliver to you anytime, anywhere.
21:30I am not going to call you every time I need something.
21:33I don't want you waiting on me.
21:36I am a very independent person, okay?
21:39I always have been.
21:41I fend for myself.
21:43I just want my sprouts back.
21:46Absolutely.
21:47Will do.
21:48Okay.
21:50Great.
21:53So, what, um, can we say Friday, maybe?
21:59I just need a rough estimate of when I should come back.
22:03We'll be there in a moment.
22:34We'll be there in a moment.
22:34Let's go.
23:05Let's go.
23:56Let's go.
24:06Let's go.
24:35Let's go.
24:37Let's go.
24:39Let's go.
25:15All set, Carol.
25:16Call us if there's...
25:17If there's something you want that's not here, we'll get it to you too, sweet.
25:47Let's go.
26:05Let's go.
26:08There were some druid priests who were in town for the opening of Stonehenge land.
26:14And they said they could stop it if they could sacrifice the town's dumbest virgin.
26:23I don't know why I raised my hand.
26:32Damn it.
26:33Let's go.
26:34Let's go.
26:59Let's go.
27:04You have got to be fucking kidding me.
27:27Why are you turning off the lights?
27:34Why are you turning off the lights?
27:36The lights?
27:36The lights?
27:37Yes.
27:37Why are you turning them off everywhere else?
27:41For conservation.
28:09For conservation.
28:09Just the ones that aren't necessary, which are, well, most of them.
28:10Carol, is there anything we could do to cheer you up?
28:13Cheer me up?
28:14Why?
28:15I'm fine.
28:16I'm so happy.
28:19There is nothing wrong with me that a fucking hand grenade wouldn't fix.
28:22You got one of those?
28:22Because I think that would be the perfect topper for the greatest week in human history.
28:48Fuck it.
29:02Me neither, too.
29:05Me neither can nor do you, nor do you press my bag.
29:26it must have just been the excitement of a moment
29:29but they said the only way to prevent the eruption
29:32was for me to crawl through their legs
29:34up the volcano while they gave me my birthday wax
29:38well and you're not going to believe this
30:17yeah hi sorry it took so long
30:23a hand grenade yes we thought you were probably being sarcastic but we didn't want to take the chance
30:33were you being sarcastic
30:38right of course you were do you want us to take you know what we just kind of we'll get
30:46rid of it
30:50feel better carol
30:54hey do you maniacs drink
31:00it's okay
31:01you can bring the hand grenade
31:18does the whole world get drunk
31:21when you drink like
31:22does some six-year-old in sri lanka slur his words when you're not going back
31:27no it doesn't work like that
31:30how do you say cheers in sanskrit
31:32shiba must do
31:33roughly it means may everyone be blessed
31:38well then
31:39you know the word vodka is a diminutive of voda meaning water
31:54very similar to the latin aqua vitai literally water of life that becomes the scandinavian aquavit
32:02although the drinks are very different
32:05fun fact whiskey has the same root meaning in scots gaelic from wishka baja
32:11you don't say
32:16what gives this particular brand its distinctive smoothness
32:19it's distilled from both potato and cord
32:23it is slightly alkaline
32:25do you taste that
32:27lower shelf alcohol tends to be acidic
32:29the chief distiller learned the process from his grandfather
32:32and now you learned it by stealing it out of his brain
32:41how long do i have left before you turn me into a worker bee
32:47it's it's a hard thing to predict
32:50scientific advances tend to ebb and flow
32:51that's not an answer
32:53how long
32:55we're working around the clock
32:57it could be as soon as a couple weeks
32:59or it could take months
33:01or longer
33:04that's quite the range for someone who knows
33:07everything that there is to know
33:12regardless
33:13sooner or later i'm fucked
33:16sorry carol
33:17we have a biological imperative
33:20you people make no goddamn sense
33:23do you know that
33:25we want to make you happy
33:27you say
33:27your life is your own
33:30you say
33:30an agency
33:31i've got all this agency
33:34but i mean i guess i have agency
33:37just until i don't
33:41carol
33:43if you were walking by a lake
33:45and you saw somebody drowning
33:47would you throw them a life preserver
33:49of course you would
33:50you wouldn't think
33:52you wouldn't wait
33:53you wouldn't try to get consensus on it
33:55you'd just throw it
33:59so now i'm drowning
34:03you just don't know it
34:07well
34:09you people are brainwashed
34:11is what you are
34:12i mean
34:13what could possibly be
34:15so great about this
34:17mind meld of yours
34:18actually
34:19let me guess
34:21it's uh
34:23it's all beautiful scenery
34:24and you feel nothing but contentment
34:26just wave after wave of
34:28bliss and peace
34:30and
34:31everything is perfect
34:33it's it's like living inside a postcard
34:36every second of every day
34:38basically it's every rick steve special ever
34:41right
34:42that kind of bullshit
34:43like you're you're uh
34:45taking a hike in the woods
34:46and there's a warm rain
34:47and the trees are
34:48so tall
34:50you can't even see the tops
34:52or you're
34:53having coffee on the canals in amsterdam
34:56and it's like you're
34:57in a coffee commercial
34:58or you're taking a walk at sunset
35:00on the most flawless beach
35:02in croatia
35:04or you're
35:06in norway above the arctic circle
35:10and the hotel made of ice
35:14under a pile of furs
35:27i told you
35:29that helen
35:30was off
35:31limits
35:43you are a bunch of
35:44mind fuckers
35:58wow you got this thing
35:59really jammed in there
36:00don't you
36:02please
36:03be careful with that
36:04right link
36:05you would give me a real hand grenade
36:10carol
36:10if we may
36:11shh
36:13where do you
36:23well
36:25you
36:47You gave me...
36:58Oh, sh... Oh, sh... Shit! Fuck!
37:03Uh... Oh, fuck!
37:12Shit!
37:14Uh, okay, I'm gonna go get some help, okay?
37:17It's okay, Carol. Elvis, come on.
37:26Oh, sh...
37:27Oh, sh...
37:33Why?
37:55Oh, sh...
38:12May we join you?
38:20We're happy to say,
38:22Zosia's doing much better.
38:23There was some blood loss, but no real nerve damage.
38:26She did get a pretty severe concussion that we're gonna wanna keep an eye on.
38:31She's resting now.
38:34Can we get you a fresh change of clothes?
38:41Carol, your quick thinking really saved the day.
38:47Why would you give me a hand grenade?
38:51You asked for one.
38:53Why not give me a fake one?
38:57Oh...
38:58Sorry if we got that wrong, Carol.
39:04If I asked right now, would you give me another hand grenade?
39:08Yes.
39:10Even after last night, you would give me another?
39:12Oh, sure.
39:13Don't worry.
39:14Uh...
39:16Okay, what about a bazooka?
39:19And the thing a bazooka shoots a rocket or whatever?
39:23Yes.
39:26All right.
39:28All right.
39:30What about...
39:32I don't know.
39:33A tank.
39:36Mm-hmm.
39:41What about...
39:41What about...
39:42an atom bomb?
39:47Why would you want one?
39:49To blow shit up?
39:50For kicks?
39:51I mean, does it matter?
39:52You gave me a grenade, for fuck's sake.
40:02It'd be okay to say no at this point.
40:05That would be sane.
40:07Not utterly batshit crazy.
40:12If you...
40:14truly...
40:15wanted a nuclear weapon...
40:17we would...
40:19weigh the pros and cons with you.
40:22Uh, we would explain that it would be very destructive, uh...
40:25Yes or no?
40:30Ultimately...
40:31yes.
40:34wouldn't necessarily feel good about it.
40:37But...
40:38we would move heaven and earth...
40:40to make you happy, Carol.
40:46Would you...
40:47like an atom bomb?
40:51I'm gonna have to get back to you on that.
40:56Okay.
40:58Okay.
40:59Oh, would you like a cup of coffee?
41:03Uh...
41:03One sugar with oat milk, right?
41:05And maybe a... a pinch or...
41:06You can go.
41:27would you like a cup of coffee?
41:36Yeah.
41:36Oh Oh Oh
41:44Thy glass will show
41:47thy howl the beauties fare
41:51Thy dial howl
41:55thy precious minutes waste
41:59This vacant leaves thy mind's imprint will bear
42:06And how this boo, this clowny may still taste
42:29The rain from his head, sound from the air
42:37The rain from his head, sound from the air
42:59The rain from his head, sound from the air
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