00:28Transcribed by —
00:57So, let's go.
01:20Bullshit.
01:21It is this freaking wide.
01:23And it's periodic.
01:26Bullshit.
01:27Show me.
01:35Something terrestrial.
01:36Gotta be.
01:37Bouncing off the moon.
01:39Gee.
01:40Never thought to check that.
01:42Look at that slope, man.
01:44You could ski down that thing.
01:45It is drifting.
01:47Look here.
01:48Zoom in.
01:49Zoom in.
01:50See that variation?
01:51And look.
01:52This gap here.
01:53This is where it stops.
01:54Then starts over.
01:55It repeats every 78 seconds.
01:58The whole entire thing.
02:00Three hours straight and no end in sight.
02:06It can't be.
02:20It's got to be something bouncing off the...
02:22Off the...
02:22It's not bouncing off the moon, Dave.
02:25Well, maybe it's those chatty Cathy's at the forest service.
02:28I hate those guys.
02:29Always on their radios talking about trees.
02:31Dave, it's not Smokey Bear we're picking up.
02:33Look at that signal.
02:35It's drifting.
02:37What is it, Dave?
02:44Looks like simple pulse width modulation.
02:46Old school, like Morse code.
02:49Maybe somehow it's the time signal out of Fort Collins.
02:53They use pulse width modulation.
02:54It's not the atomic clock.
02:56The atomic clock changes every minute because it's a clock.
02:58This is the same exact data repeated every 78 seconds.
03:01Plus, this is coming from 600 light years away.
03:08This Morse code of yours seems to be split four ways.
03:14The pulses are of equal duration, but they're positioned across four different frequencies.
03:20Looks like a player piano.
03:21So not binary, but bass four.
03:24Quaternary.
03:25Oh.
03:26This won't be easy to crack.
03:40What do you think it says?
03:41Maybe just, hello?
03:43Hey, we're out here.
03:45What'd we put on Voyagers 1 and 2?
03:47Chuck Berry?
03:49Maybe this is just their version of Johnny B. Goode.
03:53Imagine the power it took to send it.
03:57Megawatts?
03:59Gigawatts?
04:00And that's if it's pointed only at us.
04:03Antenna the size of Africa.
04:04Bigger.
04:07You go to all that trouble to send a message.
04:10It's got to be more than just hello.
04:14And why make it hard to understand?
04:17Quaternary?
04:18It's like encryption.
04:19Why would you bother to...
04:30It's not quaternary.
04:36I think I know what it is.
04:58It's not quaternary.
04:59It's not quaternary.
04:59It's not quaternary.
05:00It's not quaternary.
05:02It's not quaternary.
05:06It's not quaternary.
05:10It's not quaternary.
05:12It's not quaternary.
05:13It's not quaternary.
05:15It's not quaternary.
05:15It's not quaternary.
05:17It's not quaternary.
05:18It's not quaternary.
05:18It's not quaternary.
05:19It's not quaternary.
05:19It's not quaternary.
05:19It's not quaternary.
05:21The twin moons hung low and full, two wine-green eyes peering over the horizon as if to steal a
05:27glimpse into Acacia's soul. She paced the blood-soaked decks of the Mercator looking for
05:32something, anything, that might take her mind off Rabanne. Ascending the foc'sle, her gaze lingered
05:39over a bare-chested young sailor. On hands and knees, he scrubbed, his sinewy forearms stretched
05:45taut as he washed away all trace of the day's fight. With a languid nod, Lucasia bade him
05:53follow to her cabin. Little did this callow deckhand know that serving at his captain's pleasure
05:58might take on such sweet meaning. Or, regrettably, that it would last but a single night.
06:08Later, at four bells, Lucasia stood by the mizzenmast. Once again, she was alone. She pulled
06:17her topcoat tighter, fingering its coarse wool as her thoughts flashed back to Rabanne. It
06:22had been he who first wrapped the coat around her, whispering in her ear, may this keep you
06:28warm in my absence, my sherry. With that, Rabanne, proud, haughty Rabanne, mounted the plank
06:38and leaped from sight. The amaranth and slipstand closed over him, leaving Mary a ripple.
06:57Attention, lovers of speculative historical romance literature, best-selling author Carol
07:03Sterka will now sign her new novel, Bloodsong of Wickero, the fourth book in her Wins of Wickero
07:09trilogy. Waikaro, please, the twins of Waikaro. And Bloodsong is the best yet. God, are you
07:17in for a treat. Let's go, Sangwux!
07:23Rabanne is alive, right? Maureen. You couldn't read it. Why, well, tonight, I've already unplugged
07:30the phone. Just, no, Rabanne's not on the cover. No, he's not. Yeah, he's never not been on
07:37the cover, Carol. If Rabanne doesn't come back, I'm done.
07:46Page 218.
07:49Page 218.
07:51Okay. Okay. Bye. Thanks, Maureen. Hi.
07:56Hi. Hi, Olga.
07:57Lately, I can't take your idea.
07:59It's Christine.
08:01Hi, Ben.
08:05Love it.
08:07Happy reading.
08:08This is Nikki with her pillow.
08:11Nikki with her. Oh, my gosh.
08:12It looks so good.
08:13You made this?
08:14Yes.
08:15This is Christine.
08:16This is Paulina and support person.
08:18This is Carlotta.
08:19Say Rabanne.
08:21Rabanne.
08:22When Rabanne and Ergamel fell in the cargo hold, do you remember what it was loaded with?
08:27Adobe and Spicefruit.
08:28Which Lucasia is definitely allergic to.
08:33Oh, you guys want a picture of my Chris?
08:39Thank you so much.
08:40Hi, Tonya.
08:41Are you excited?
08:42Hi, Eva.
08:44I got two books.
08:45One for the tub.
08:46This is an authentic cutlass, just like Le Bon's.
08:49Careful, it's really sharp.
08:51Okay, so three things.
08:52A, when finally are they going to make a Waikaro movie?
08:55Please tell me it'll be in actual theaters, not on the Lifetime Network.
08:58B, you've got to get ILM to do the slipstand.
09:01Otherwise, it's just going to look like mailed.
09:02Pardon my French.
09:03And C, at a small but very crucial point, as a two-masted scooter,
09:09the Mercator would not possess a mizzenmast, so.
09:12Craig, I'm going to need you to put this back in the bag before the store manager sees it.
09:17Right?
09:18Your humble servant.
09:21Oh, that's the one.
09:23Oh, I love you.
09:23Thank you guys so much.
09:25Thank you guys.
09:26We'll see you the next one.
09:26Happy weekend.
09:28All right, all right.
09:33Hi ladies.
09:34I have us going to the Hyatt Regency Dallas.
09:37Yeah, thanks.
09:38Uh, perfect.
09:40That was quite a send-off.
09:41I'm sorry, should I know who you are?
09:44Uh, depends.
09:45You a big fan of mindless crap?
09:46Huh, huh, huh.
10:05Uh...
10:20morning doc oh it certainly is hey mel oh where'd those come from here's truly help yourself
10:32i think they're mostly glazed but one box ought to be sprinkled powdered and all that what did we do
10:37to deserve this my 14 year old son from marching band aren't you a good dad what does she play
10:47trombone dr d good evening morning whatever look what mel brought for us yeah please they got you
10:56two working late yeah i gotta guess a bunch of rats so how goes the big project what have you
11:03heard
11:05i don't know thanks well our team's fairly certain we've got a sequence that includes for a lysogenic
11:12virus but after eight whole months of animal testing macaques rabbits mice guinea pigs guinea pigs now
11:18rats no clinical signs whatsoever put another way we got bupkis we got bupkis
11:44okay how do you want to do this
11:47uh i can put him to sleep if you want to do the cardiac sticks i hate the cardiac sticks
11:53you're more than welcome to gas them i hate gassing them might be in the wrong career
11:59all right cardiac sticks it is let's get it over with
12:06uh-oh check it out
12:11uh-oh check it out
12:13what do you figure happened there
12:21i don't know
12:22uh-oh check it out
12:45he's looking pretty dead to me
12:48you got a heartbeat can't feel jack shit in these gloves
13:01uh-oh what he's absolutely got a heartbeat strong one just bam bam bam it's weird if i didn't know
13:08any better i-oh god oh shit oh no you've gotta be kidding me
13:15uh-oh
13:15did he break the skin
13:16um yeah i don't yeah it's through the glove
13:19oh shit uh soak it quick
13:22if it's a merge
13:23if it's bleeding make sure to squeeze it out good
13:25i'm gonna call this in as soon as i catch him okay
13:28okay
13:40hurrah
13:42sit right there
13:44right there
13:52that's mark 336
13:53and uh
13:57Jen?
14:02Talk to me, Jen.
14:03Jen!
14:04Jen!
14:04Jen!
14:06I'm gonna go right now.
14:09I got you.
14:11Okay, come on.
14:12I got you.
14:18Oh, my God.
14:22Jen, did you hear me?
14:23It's gonna be fine.
14:25You're gonna be all right.
14:27Come on.
14:28You're gonna be all right.
14:29You're gonna be all right.
14:30You hear me?
14:31Come on, come on.
14:32Talk to me a lot, Jen.
14:33Come on.
14:34Jen?
14:35You all right?
14:37Jen?
14:38Just say something.
14:40Jen?
14:41I got you.
14:42I got you.
14:44Jen?
14:47Hey, Jen.
14:48Can you hear me?
14:50Jen, just say something.
14:56gonna get back.
15:00Do you need one cat?
15:01What time this lifeadura is about?
15:02Dammit!
15:04Kidding me?
15:32Can you play this thing?
15:35You got skinny arms, you think you could maybe...
15:42Hey.
16:25Yes?
16:25Yes?
16:47You got skinny arms, you got skinny arms, you got skinny arms.
17:03You got skinny arms, you got skinny arms, you got skinny arms.
17:34You got skinny arms, you got skinny arms.
18:23You got skinny arms, you got skinny arms.
18:34You got skinny arms, you got skinny arms, you got skinny arms.
19:16You got skinny arms, you got skinny arms, you got skinny arms.
19:32You got skinny arms, you got skinny arms, you got skinny arms.
19:49You got skinny arms, you got skinny arms.
20:17You got skinny arms, you got skinny arms.
20:44Thanks.
20:48We could take a cab home.
20:50Don't tell me you don't need a drink, because you need a drink.
20:52I don't need a drink.
20:53You need a drink.
20:55You don't need a drink.
20:56I call bullshit on that.
20:58I need sleep, that's what I need.
21:00Hey, cheers to the best tour yet.
21:04You leave me hanging here?
21:05I do not clean buses with fucking Diet Pepsi.
21:08Best book tour.
21:10What is that?
21:11Is that like best stomach cancer?
21:13You endure it.
21:14You do not toast it.
21:15Oh, how I hate all those paying customers showering me with love and respect.
21:19And why do I have to make so much money?
21:22How do you bear it?
21:32Bunch of dummies.
21:34Wow.
21:35It's a ship that sails on sand?
21:38Purple sand?
21:39That's brilliant.
21:41The world needed that.
21:43And the world needed yet another female character who spends all her time mooning over some fucking
21:48proud and haughty pirate.
21:50He's a corsair, not a pirate.
21:53Nandovian Spicefruit.
21:56Jesus, that...
21:57It's like a bad episode of Star Trek.
22:00Alright, so how about you throw everybody a change up?
22:01Hmm?
22:02Green sand?
22:03Is that a purple?
22:05Maybe it's time for your serious book.
22:09Why not?
22:09You've been plugging away on it for five years.
22:12Four and a half.
22:13Barely.
22:14Pardon me.
22:14So put it out already.
22:15I can't just...
22:18It needs polishing.
22:21Obviously.
22:21I mean, it does, right?
22:22Okay, take the next few months and polish.
22:25I'll work it out.
22:26I'll buy you some more time before your next Wecaro.
22:30You really think Bitter Chrysalis is that good?
22:34I think people will love it.
22:42You ever read, um, Finnegan's Wake?
22:44No.
22:46I tried to.
22:47In grad school.
22:51It's probably great.
22:53I don't know.
22:55All I know is it made me miserable trying to get through it.
23:01I figured you make even one person happy.
23:06Maybe that's not art.
23:09It's something.
23:17To Rabanne.
23:19Proud.
23:20Haughty Rabanne.
23:29Did you bring your cigarette?
23:31Since when do you smoke?
23:33Since now?
23:35Since now?
23:36I'm out.
23:36I'm out.
23:40I'm out.
23:41I'm out.
23:43I'm out.
23:44I'm out.
23:45I'm out.
23:46I'm out.
23:47I'm out.
23:47I'm out.
23:48I'm out.
23:49I'm out.
23:49I'm out.
23:50I'm out.
23:54I'm out.
23:56You're trying to start a forest fire?
23:57Stop wasting my butane.
24:00Stop telling me how to smoke.
24:02I used to smoke in middle school.
24:04You know, you're supposed to light the other person's cigarette first, but that's etiquette.
24:07Yeah? On a plane, do you put your own oxygen mask on first?
24:13Ooh. You're gonna hear it. Houston Mom, 78, says about Bloodsong.
24:18BEST WICARO EVER! All caps. And, uh...
24:2316, 17, exclamation points. Wow. Is that a new record? It's gotta be.
24:28Spoiler alert. Rabanne is back and yummier than ever. Yummier than ever, I think she means.
24:34Mm-mm. You better believe he's got my permission to come aboard. I'd walk his plank anytime.
24:39I'm sensing a nautical motif. A little bit. Think Houston Mom's off for meds again?
24:43I think Houston Mom would spread her legs for a grilled cheese sandwich.
24:50Huh. Look at that. What? What do you think they're doing? What's what doing? The planes. Look.
25:03I don't know. What, is that weird? Yeah, it's weird. Isn't it? All of them kind of parallel like that?
25:10Huh.
25:22Anybody else weigh in? That's all the usual suspects. Plus, a few new ones.
25:28Everybody loves it.
25:40You want to answer a few questions for them?
25:43What, now? No, no, no, no.
25:44Eh, do a quick one. Let them know you're paying attention.
25:48Carol, my husband says Rabanne can be my hall pass, which I don't think is fair,
25:52since Rabanne's not a real-life person, although I wish he was.
25:55In real life, was there an actual man you were thinking of when you came up with Rabanne?
26:01That's hilarious.
26:05You want to tell the truth?
26:09What do you have to lose?
26:13Put down George Clooney.
26:15What?
26:16Nothing. What's wrong with him?
26:17Nothing. Just, I mean, how about a hot Brazilian soccer player, someone with dreadlocks?
26:22Hip it up.
26:25Just put George Clooney.
26:28It's safer.
26:34Shit!
26:36Oh.
26:56Buddy, you...
26:57You okay, buddy?
27:05Oh, Jesus.
27:17Helen, should we call someone?
27:22Helen!
27:23Helen, stop looking at the goddamn...
27:40Oh, my God, Helen!
27:44Helen?
27:46Oh, my God.
27:51Help!
27:52Help!
27:53Somebody help us!
27:54Help!
27:56Just hang in there.
27:57Hang in there.
27:58Hang in there.
27:59Just hang in there.
28:07Oh, my, my, my!
28:18Oh, my God.
28:19Oh, my God.
28:19I don't know.
28:54I don't know.
29:21Please.
29:23Please.
29:27Yes!
29:28Yes!
29:30Shit!
29:31Please remain on the line. An operator will be moving shortly.
29:35Be afraid to be out-
29:40Okay.
30:05Please.
30:20Come on.
30:21Come on.
30:22Come on.
30:22Come on.
30:23Come on.
30:33Fuck you.
30:35Fuck you!
30:52You better get out. Come on, get out. Get out!
31:00No! Fuck!
31:04Fuck it! Go!
31:22Fuck!
31:48No!
31:58No!
32:00No!
32:04No!
32:04No!
32:06No!
32:08No!
32:12Fuck!
32:13Fuck!
32:32Oh, thank God.
32:35Oh, thank God.
32:37Shh.
33:00Oh, thank God.
33:06Oh, thank God.
33:31Oh, thank God.
33:48Oh, thank God.
34:00Wake up.
34:03Dr. Nguyen, I made you wake up.
34:08Please wake up.
34:10Dr. Nguyen, wake up.
34:15Please wake up.
34:17Dr. Nguyen, wake up.
34:19Still rains, we're apart.
34:22Okay.
34:26Okay.
34:27All right.
34:31I know.
34:54I'm sorry, sorry, sorry!
35:20Okay, there we go.
35:25Helen?
35:27Helen?
35:28Helen?
35:30Helen?
35:38Hi, baby...
35:47Hi, baby.
35:56No, no, no, no.
36:24God damn it.
36:26Okay.
36:31Come on.
36:36Somebody, please help me.
36:39No, no, no. God, no.
36:41Come on. Please.
36:43Please.
36:49Please.
36:55Help.
36:58Help.
36:59Help.
37:00Help.
37:07Help.
37:08Help.
37:19Help.
37:26Help.
37:27Help.
37:28I don't know.
37:58I don't know.
38:30I don't know.
38:31What is happening?
38:49Hey, hey!
38:50Go sir, touch her!
38:50You put her down!
38:52Put her down!
38:53Get out!
38:54Go away!
38:59What the hell is wrong with you people?
39:02He just wanna help Carol!
39:09No!
39:18No!
39:31Hey!
39:32Hey!
39:34Don't get that.
39:37I can't!
39:37No!
39:38No!
39:39No!
39:44Oh, my God.
40:13Oh, my God.
40:40Oh, my God.
40:43Oh, my God.
40:57Oh, my God.
41:26Oh, my God.
41:28Oh, my God.
41:29Oh, my God.
41:36Oh, my God.
41:52Oh, my God.
42:03Oh, my God.
42:15Oh, my God.
42:29Oh, my God.
42:31Oh, my God.
42:50Oh, my God.
43:06There's a spare key.
43:08Oh, my God.
43:11Oh, my God.
43:12Oh, my God.
43:13Oh, my God.
43:28Oh, my God.
43:30Oh, my God.
43:31Oh, my God.
43:37There you go.
43:40There you go.
43:42There you go.
43:49Oh, my God.
44:01Oh, my God.
44:02Oh, my God.
44:30We're very sorry for your loss.
44:48Oh, my God.
45:18Oh, my God.
46:13Oh, my God.
46:18Oh, my God.
47:03Oh, my God.
47:04Oh, my God.
47:06Oh, my God.
47:07Oh, my God.
47:39Oh, my God.
47:40Oh, my God.
47:46Oh, my God.
47:54Oh, my God.
47:59Oh, my God.
48:03Oh, my God.
48:10Oh, my God.
48:26Oh, my God.
48:30Oh, my God.
48:31Oh, my God.
48:34Oh, my God.
48:46Oh, my God.
49:00Oh, my God.
49:00Oh, my God.
49:02Oh, my God.
49:12Oh, my God.
49:24Oh, my God.
49:31Oh, my God.
49:36Oh, my God.
49:39Oh, my God.
49:49Oh, my God.
50:11Oh, my God.
50:14Oh, my God.
50:16Oh, my God.
50:22is happening well basically it's an alien invasion right I mean obviously
50:27it's an alien you know my name you know Helen's name you're talking to me from
50:38my TV
50:39too weird the weird the weird neighbor kids and next door they know we're some
50:49goddamn how how would they know that huh are you reading my mind no absolutely not
50:57we couldn't do that if we wanted to who is we why is everybody suddenly wait you
51:01know we could continue this after you've had a good night's sleep who is we we is
51:07us just us who the fuck is us us there are no aliens not on this planet we are
51:15however beneficiaries of extraterrestrial technology 14 months ago astronomers
51:22discovered a radio signal from 600 light-years away there's no telling how
51:27long it's been repeating maybe throughout all of human existence this signal it's
51:32made up of four tones representing guanine uracil adenine and cytosine it's a
51:40recipe it turns out for a nucleotide sequence RNA scientists have created this
51:47sequence in a lab it is not a living thing per se it is more akin to a virus no
51:54it's not that exactly either it's kind of a psychic glue capable of binding us all
52:04together so if you're not aliens who am i talking to right now who are you this
52:11particular individual this is davis tafler undersecretary of agriculture for farm
52:17production and conservation but you are currently talking to every person on
52:23earth including davis tafler we're all one how does that work we don't know
52:31exactly it just does can i talk to the president that individual passed away
52:37this evening unfortunately along with quite a few senior members of the United
52:42States government davis tafler happened to be nearby and intact and he was wearing a
52:49suit so so so you're in charge now you the undersecretary nobody's in charge or
52:56everybody's in charge really there's no such thing anymore but there's got to be
53:01others like me your situation is a rare one there appear to be 11 other
53:07individuals like yourself in Albuquerque no in the world we have reached out to
53:13them like you they are disoriented understandably rest assured carol we will figure out what
53:23makes you different figure it out why so we can fix it so you can join us
53:37carol you still there
53:43you said my life was my own it is 100 percent
53:51so what happens when i say no carol once you understand how wonderful this is
54:01if i want to say no carol
54:02carol
54:20hi you've reached 505-796-693 we're on the french riviera drinking champagne we are not here in our sweatpants
54:28screening your call
54:29Make it a good one.
54:32Carol? Hello?
54:34It's us.
54:36Hello?
54:38We're sorry we upset you, Carol.
54:40We only want to make you happy.
54:42SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!
55:26So please enjoy this video.
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