00:19Pizza Pit Pizza. It's not about the slice, it's about the nice. Party?
00:24Keep the change, jerkwad.
00:32Wow, I want to be him.
00:49I work down at the Pizza Pit and I drive an old Hyundai.
00:56I still live in my mood.
01:00I'm a little in the way.
01:03I'm a sci-fi fanatic.
01:06Mild asthmatic.
01:07Never been to second base.
01:09But there's a whole other me that you need to see.
01:15Go check out my space.
01:18Cause all online I'm out in Hollywood.
01:22I'm six foot five and I look damn good.
01:25I drive a Maserati.
01:27I'm a black belt in karate.
01:29And I love a good glass of wine.
01:31It turns girls on that I'm mysterious.
01:36I tell them I don't want nothing serious.
01:40Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way trip with two women at one time.
01:47I'm so much cooler online.
01:50So much cooler online.
01:54I get home, I kiss my mom and she fixes me a snack.
02:01And I head down to my basement bedroom and fire up my Mac.
02:08In real life, the only time I've ever even been to L.A.
02:15Is when I got the chance with the marching band to play tuba and the Rose Parade.
02:22But all online I live in Malibu.
02:26I pose for Calvin Klein.
02:29I've been in GQ.
02:30I'm single and I'm rich.
02:32And I got a set of six pack abs that would blow your mind.
02:37It turns girls on that I'm mysterious.
02:41I tell them I don't want nothing serious.
02:44Cause even on a slow day I can have a three way chat with two women at one time.
02:51I'm so much cooler online.
02:55Yeah, I'm cooler online.
02:58When you've got my kind of stats, it's hard to get a date.
03:02Let alone a real girlfriend.
03:06But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight.
03:10Every time I log in.
03:15Dad, what are you doing?
03:16I pay for this.
03:17Technically, this is my computer.
03:19Why are you making out a profile?
03:21I'm making new friends.
03:23Friends?
03:24Why are all your friends so chesty?
03:27They are?
03:27Oh, maybe I'll get some new friends.
03:29Like that cute guitarist over there.
03:35Who's that?
03:36Who cares?
03:38And he can sing!
03:39I can't sing.
03:40No!
03:41Oh, my God.
03:44No.
03:46No!
03:48No!
03:51No!
03:54The whole home line.
03:58No!
03:58I'm not in Hollywood
03:59I'm six
04:00But if I
04:01And I look damned
04:02But even on a slow day
04:04I've been having a three-way
04:06Chat with you
04:07And at one time
04:09I'm so much cooler online
04:13Yeah, I'm cooler online
04:15Yeah, I'm so much cooler online
04:20Yeah, I'm cooler online
04:25Cooler online
04:26Hey, I'm cooler online
04:31Yeah, I'm so much cooler online
04:37Hey, I'm cooler online
04:55What the hell are you doing?
04:59What?
05:00I said, what the hell are you doing?
05:02What the hell are you doing?
05:31Marching music makes me hot.
