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Watch Small Prophets Season 1 Episode 2 online in HD on Dailymotion (2026).
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00:00I
01:04Excuse me, do you sell buckets?
01:06Buckets? No.
01:09Really?
01:10No call for them. Old-fashioned.
01:14So, how do people, you know, like, carry water and stuff?
01:18Well, everything's plumbed in these days.
01:20You know, it's piped to wherever it needs to be,
01:21so there's no need for anyone to carry any by hand.
01:24What colour bucket?
01:25Well, it doesn't really matter. Any colour.
01:28No, sorry, I can't help you.
01:30A hosepipe. That's the closest we do.
01:32Garden section.
01:35Okay.
01:36Excuse me.
01:38Is that right that you don't sell buckets anymore?
01:40I'm sorry.
01:42Your colleague just told me that you don't sell buckets anymore
01:45because they're old-fashioned.
01:48Do you mean those things that people used to carry water in?
01:52Yeah.
01:53Oh, we haven't stocked buckets in a while, mate.
01:57Tell you what, you might want to try the vintage and antiques Emporium.
02:14Do you see Celebrity Barrel Scrapers last night?
02:17Did I see what?
02:18Celebrity Barrel Scrapers.
02:20It's like, you know Barrel Scrapers, the show?
02:22Well, it's like that, but the celebrity version.
02:25I haven't got to tell it.
02:26Are you serious?
02:26There's a programme called Celebrity Barrel Scrapers.
02:29Yeah.
02:30Didn't recognise any of the celebrities in it, though.
02:32Apart from that bald bloke from, er, what's it called?
02:35It's funny, though.
02:36What did they do, the celebrities?
02:39Just, you know, scrape the barrels out, get them clean.
02:42It gets really messy.
02:43It's dead good.
02:44Hang on, you don't have a TV.
02:46No.
02:48Prick.
02:50Everyone's going to the club next Friday after work.
02:52It's someone's birthday.
02:54You coming?
02:55Whose birthday?
02:56The bloke who cuts the MDR.
02:57Andre.
02:58Mm-hmm.
02:59Maybe.
03:00I'll see.
03:02I think it's all.
03:03It's about six foot, a big white...
03:04Him there with the white beard.
03:06Him.
03:08Here we go.
03:11Did you tell that customer we don't sell buckets?
03:14No.
03:15He said you told him we don't sell buckets,
03:17that there's no call for them.
03:20Oh, buckets!
03:21Is that what he was after?
03:22I couldn't understand what he was saying.
03:26What time do you go to bed?
03:27None of your business, Gordon.
03:29It is my business if my staff are falling asleep on their feet
03:32and they can't hear the customers properly.
03:35You don't lose your hearing when you're tired.
03:39Hello, Hilary?
03:40Is everything OK?
03:43OK, I'll be right there.
03:44No.
03:45No, it's fine.
03:46I'm not busy.
03:48No, honestly, it's not a problem.
03:49Yes.
03:51OK, I'm on my way.
03:55Got to go.
03:56Me dad's lost something.
03:58Lost something?
04:04Have you been on your break?
04:26Oh, hello, love.
04:27Sorry.
04:27No, it's all right.
04:28What's happened?
04:29I would have waited till you came in later,
04:30but he was upset and threatening to call the police.
04:32Really?
04:35Tina found this on his bed when he was at breakfast
04:38and brought it to me.
04:41He noticed it was missing and kicked off.
04:48Bloody hell.
04:50Right.
04:52Well, I'll see if I can get to the bottom of it.
04:55Thanks, Hilary.
04:56Sorry.
04:57Sorry.
04:57Sorry.
04:58Sorry.
04:59Sorry.
05:08Hello, Dad.
05:09Hold on.
05:09I'm glad you're here.
05:10There's a thief in this place and I've had enough.
05:12It's outrageous.
05:14I'm writing a letter.
05:15All right, Dad.
05:16Calm down.
05:17No one stole it.
05:18I've got it here.
05:19They didn't know what it was.
05:21It says quite clearly on the tin what it is.
05:24Poison.
05:25Well, exactly.
05:26They were worried.
05:27I'm not a child.
05:29Why have you got a tin of poison?
05:31What is going on?
05:32Give it here.
05:36One, two, three, four, five, six.
05:38Oh, they were all there.
05:39Thank God for that.
05:40I couldn't replicate these.
05:41Once they're gone, they're gone.
05:42Seriously, Dad.
05:43Why have you got six files of poison?
05:46This is the antidote that dissolves the homunculi,
05:49only to be used in case of emergency.
05:51It was given to me.
05:52I don't know what's in it.
05:53And I couldn't make it again.
05:55Did you find the diaries?
05:57Mike?
05:58Hey?
05:59Did you find the instructions?
06:01Yes.
06:01Excellent.
06:02So have you got it set up?
06:03No, Dad.
06:04I haven't had time.
06:05The sooner you start the chanting,
06:07the sooner you'll be able to get results,
06:08and the sooner you'll be able to ask about clear.
06:11You have to chant to the bottles.
06:14It's all there in the instructions.
06:17What's wrong?
06:18What?
06:18What's wrong?
06:27This was in the journal.
06:29There they are.
06:30Oh, my God.
06:32I've forgotten I took this.
06:34Dad, I'm so confused.
06:35I thought that this was just a bedtime story.
06:38I didn't think it might actually be real.
06:40Trust me.
06:41You want to know where Claire is when she's coming home?
06:45They can answer any question,
06:47and they're compelled to answer truthfully.
06:49OK, just remind me what they actually are.
06:54Homunculi.
06:55Prophesying spirits.
06:56Right.
06:57I looked up homunculus in the dictionary,
07:00and it said,
07:00a very small humanoid creature.
07:04That's it, yeah?
07:05That's it?
07:08So what?
07:09A human?
07:10An animal?
07:11Is this legal?
07:13Well, it's not illegal.
07:15That doesn't exactly put my mind at rest, Dad.
07:17Trust me.
07:19Yes, yes, all right.
07:21Before I forget,
07:21will you post some letters for me?
07:24More competitions?
07:25Yeah, this one's foot spa,
07:27this one's dog grooming classes,
07:29and this one's Lamborghini.
07:31Fingers crossed.
07:32Oh, and this one,
07:33you'll need a stamp.
07:34You'll have to go to the post office.
07:36It's going to Vancouver,
07:38to my old school friend, Vic.
07:40Oh, right-o.
07:41How is Vic these days?
07:42Much the same.
07:43Not much to say for himself,
07:45but he always asks after you.
07:47After me, does he?
07:49Yeah, yeah.
07:49Very interested in what you're up to.
07:51Did I ever meet him?
07:53Maybe once,
07:55when you were little.
07:56Right, well,
07:57next time,
07:59tell him I said hello.
08:01Hello?
08:01Hey,
08:15hey,
08:15oh,
08:15heyy,
08:17hey,
08:17Oh,
09:03Hello, Olive.
09:04Hello, Michael.
09:05What you got there?
09:07Jars.
09:08Yep, jars.
09:09Big, aren't they?
09:10Yep, big jars.
09:11What are you sprinkling today?
09:13Ant powder.
09:14Oh, yeah?
09:15Little bastards coming indoors and eating all the cake.
09:18Wankers.
09:19Go to get them early, otherwise they start bloody flying.
09:22You know that?
09:23They sprout wings and start bloody flying all over the place on 4th of July, Independence Day.
09:28So I'm putting the powder down.
09:30Yeah, that'll learn them.
09:32See you later, Olive.
09:33Cherry hole.
09:49OK, Dad.
09:51I'm doing this, am I?
10:00You're moving the clothes in the back for me.
10:12Hello, this is Michael.
10:14Michael Sleep.
10:14I'm just leaving a message.
10:16I won't be coming in today, I'm afraid.
10:19I've got a bit of a runny bottom.
10:50I've got a bit of a runny bottom.
11:03morning Michael morning morning you're just getting rid of some stuff you're
11:09just moving it looks about the frontier that's right it's only temporary
11:20I was gonna say I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to take your edge back don't be
11:24sorry it's lucky actually I spotted a pair of chaffinches nesting in the ivy so I'm
11:31glad that we didn't disturb them chaffinches chaffinches that reminds me
11:40your security light at the front it's flashing on and off on and off all night
11:47is it there must be a branch or a twig or something waving across it you probably
11:51don't notice it if your bedrooms at the back I'll take a look yes it's on and
11:55off on and off all night on and off on and off it's like every few minutes it's
12:00light pollution it's disturbing the little chaffinches light pollution okay just off
12:06to the DIY store do you need anything no thanks are you sure I guess I get a staff
12:11discount no thanks
12:50do you
12:52do I
12:59do
13:22All right, Skiver, I thought you had the shit.
13:24Shh! Don't let him know I'm here.
13:27Do you know what? I'm having to do twice as much work as you.
13:29Well, you usually do fuck all, so twice fuck all is still fuck all.
13:34Why are you here?
13:36I need you to get some stuff for me.
13:40Jesus.
13:42All right, let me finish my cig.
13:43And remember to get the staff discount.
13:45OK.
14:00I need you to get some stuff for you.
14:03Let me finish my cig.
14:03I don't know.
14:04I'll use I.
14:10Oh, ma'am.
14:14Go, ma'am.
14:14Go, go!
14:15Go, ma'am!
14:17Come back to school!
14:22He's got a dog.
14:23Go, ma'am!
14:25Go, ma'am!
14:26Go, ma'am!
14:26Go, ma'am!
14:27Go, ma'am!
14:27Go, ma'am!
14:28Go.
14:28Go, ma'am!
14:29Go, ma'am!
14:44Are you building a bop?
14:46No.
14:47Crystal meth?
14:49What?
14:50Well, what's all this for?
14:51I'm cleaning me fish tank.
14:54What fish have you got?
14:55Pilchard.
14:55You're lying.
14:56It's for a project.
14:57I'll tell you about it another time.
15:00Did he see you, Gordon?
15:01Yeah.
15:02Casey, I just wanted to say you've still got my credit card.
15:10You're welcome.
15:53I'm going to say you've got to say you've got to say you've got to say you've got to say
15:57you've got to say you've got to say you've got to say you've got to say you've got to say
15:57you've got to say you've got to say you've got to say you've got to say you've got to say
15:57you've got to say you've got to say you've got to say you've got to say you've got to say
15:57you've got to say you've got to say you've got to say you've got to say you've got to say
15:57you've got to say you've got to say you've got to say you've got to say you've got to say
15:57you've got to say you've got to say you've got to say you've got to say you've got to say
15:57you've got to say you've got to say you've got to say you've got to say you've got to say
15:57you've got to say you've got to say you've got to say you've got to say you've got
16:08And that's what I'll tell you what it is
16:28Before the jars are sealed, in each must be placed a mineral seed item from which the homunculus will grow.
16:37The seeds must be carefully selected and be specific to the creature's station.
16:44For the knight, a brass key.
16:48For the monk, the nib of a pen.
16:52For the peasant, a plain undecorated button.
16:57For the seraph, a crystal of amethyst.
17:01For the queen, a gold ring.
17:05And for the king, a silver coin, as old as you can find.
17:15Why does he have to behave like this?
17:18It's like every little thing he does is designed to wind me up.
17:22I mean, what in the hell is his problem?
17:26Bev.
17:28What?
17:29I'm saying, what's his problem?
17:31Who?
17:32Gandalf the frigging grey, who do you think?
17:34It sounds like you're the one with the problem.
17:36Why can't you just ignore him?
17:37How can I with that racket going on?
17:46Why can't it just be normal?
17:49What are you doing?
17:50Put a mirror down there.
17:51Oh, and that's normal, is it?
17:52You believe he's had the nerve to complain about our security light?
17:56Light pollution has accused me of.
18:00I mean, his place is crawling with vermin.
18:02The amount of insects in his garden is disgusting.
18:06Spiders, wasps, bees, and the effing sparrows chirping all day long in the bushes.
18:12Oh, that drives me insane.
18:27Great.
18:28He's praying.
18:29That's all we need.
18:31A religious fanatic.
18:34Bev.
18:35What?
18:36What are you listening to?
18:38A podcast.
18:39About what?
18:40Sex trafficking.
18:41Back in.
18:43Et ex prae cordis.
18:46Sonnet prae cornia.
18:49Resediant recidant recidant vetera vetera.
18:54Sacris solemnis, hydante prae cornia.
18:57Et ex prae cornia is 330.
19:00Sonnet, Sacris Solemnis by Hunter Bacordia et Ex Econis.
19:34Hello?
19:34Are you coming to the pub?
19:36Who is this?
19:38Casey, are you coming to the pub?
19:40What time is it?
19:41I don't know.
19:42Look, we're at the open as usual, you said you'd come.
19:44Why do you want me to come to the pub so much?
19:47I'm not asking you out on a date, I'm just saying we're at the pub, for fuck's sake, I'm just
19:50being friendly.
19:51Alright, I'm sorry.
19:53Which pub?
19:54Open as usual.
20:01Alright?
20:02Yeah?
20:03You alright?
20:04You made it.
20:06You must be made up.
20:08Yeah, I might start weeping.
20:16Oh, here he is!
20:19Weedy beardy!
20:21Hey, someone get this mum a drink!
20:25Michael!
20:25Michael!
20:26You a train spotter?
20:28No.
20:30Are you a virgin?
20:31What are you talking about?
20:33How old are you?
20:34Fifty.
20:35Fifty-year-old virgin!
20:37Shut up, Brigham.
20:38How old are you?
20:39Five?
20:40Look, he's free!
20:43My mate used to work at a restaurant when you worked at some burger place.
20:47Oh yeah, burgers, burgers, burgers on the high street.
20:50He said he stripped up in front of all the customers.
20:53Only to be vest and pants.
20:54Only to be vest and pants!
20:56What for?
20:57I was resigning.
20:58They wanted the uniform back.
21:00My mate said, right?
21:01He swipes a panoppy pie off the counter, comes out front, strips off, flicks the manager
21:06the bird and then walks out in his boxes.
21:08Is that true?
21:09Nearly.
21:10It was a sticky toffee pudding and I had to come back because my clothes and keys were
21:14in the staff room.
21:16Oh no, no.
21:17I'm only having the one.
21:18I've got the car.
21:19Leave it here, get the bus.
21:20Where do you live?
21:21Marvin Gardens, just off the Wilmslow Road.
21:23Oh my God.
21:24Yeah, I know.
21:24Listen, it's a 20 minute walk from here.
21:26You're fine.
21:27Do you know Danielle?
21:28She used to live on the corner of Marvin Gardens.
21:31I was mates with her at school.
21:32I haven't spoken to her in years though.
21:33She went off to catering college.
21:35Oh my God.
21:36There used to be this house on Marvin Gardens, right?
21:39That was just like full of junk.
21:41And like the garden was an absolute jungle.
21:43And I mean this bloke lived there, but nobody saw him.
21:45Well, Danielle saw him a few times, but anyways.
21:48He murdered his wife.
21:51Yeah.
21:52Everyone knew.
21:52I mean the police dug up his garden and everything,
21:54but they never found out.
21:56They reckon he dissolved her in battery acid
21:58and flushed her down the loo so he got away with it.
22:00How long you lived there?
22:08Oh my God, that's your house.
22:18Did you murder your wife?
22:22I was never married.
22:24But no, I've never murdered anyone,
22:27let alone flushed somebody down the toilet.
22:33Come to think of it,
22:35everything Danielle said was absolute bullshit.
22:38Michael!
22:38Michael!
22:40Do you like Star Trek?
22:46After a couple of weeks,
22:47we can't find it.
22:50He's just looking into the...
23:01So, were you really an underwater welder?
23:04What's that?
23:05Were you really an underwater welder?
23:08Oh no, I made that up.
23:10Do you know what?
23:10I knew it, you bullshitter.
23:12I went down a two-hour underwater welding rabbit hole last night.
23:16I mean, I watch videos on YouTube.
23:19I know everything about it.
23:20So how does that work then?
23:22The fire underwater thing?
23:24I'm not telling you.
23:32Your mate's story, it wasn't all bullshit though.
23:36The police did dig up my garden.
23:40Did me a favour actually.
23:41Had to clear up afterwards.
23:43They left it in a better state than it was before.
23:46Well, what were they looking for then?
23:48My girlfriend.
23:50She left one day, she never came back.
23:54Everyone thought I'd killed her for a while.
23:58I didn't kill her.
24:00I love her.
24:03Michael!
24:04Do you collect stamps?
24:05Why do you find me so weird, Brigham?
24:08I don't get it.
24:09Just don't worry about him.
24:10No, I don't understand.
24:12Is it simply because I have a beard?
24:15Or because I don't go on the paintballing trips?
24:19Because that ain't that bloody weird, is it?
24:21Jason wears gold boots with wings on.
24:24But here you all are, ripping into me!
24:27Oh, careful!
24:28Watch out!
24:29We're stripped down!
24:30You don't know anything about me.
24:34You knew what I'm actually growing in my shed.
24:39Stop right there, thank you very much.
24:41What are you actually growing in your shed?
24:43What you don't know is that I am actually growing homunculi.
24:50I beg your pardon?
24:52Homunculi.
24:54They are prophesying spirits that can predict the future
24:59and I am growing them in jars in my shed.
25:02So when I'm winning billions on the lottery,
25:05you won't be laughing then, will you?
25:08Eh?
25:09What the fuck are you on the boat?
25:11Homunculi!
25:13Get you home, yeah?
25:21Are you alright?
25:22I'm fine.
25:29So, what are you growing in jars in your shed?
25:33Homunculi.
25:35And what's a homunculi?
25:37No.
25:38No.
25:39Homunculi is plural.
25:41Homunculus is singular.
25:42And they are creatures.
25:44They're like little people.
25:46They're like little people in jars.
25:49Like sea monkeys?
25:51They're a little bit like sea monkeys,
25:52but they can predict the future.
25:55Fuchsia.
25:56I had sea monkeys once.
25:58They were really disappointing.
26:00Like the advert said that they were so eager to please,
26:03but my ones, they couldn't give an apparent fuck.
26:05They're not sea monkeys.
26:07They're monkey-like.
26:09Can I come and see them?
26:10No.
26:11Nobody can see them at the moment
26:13because they are invisible to the human naked eye.
26:16So, no.
26:19Okay.
26:21You have to walk me home.
26:22I'm fine.
26:23Mate, I'm not walking you home.
26:24I live this way.
26:25Fine.
26:27Fine.
26:31This is me.
26:33Alright, yeah, cool.
26:34I'm just...
26:39Thanks.
27:32I don't know.
27:35I don't know.
28:05I don't know.
28:59I don't know.
29:01We're older now and lost again.
29:09Down at the cul-de-sac you left, my friend.
29:17I put the kettle on the wise man's song for you.
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