- 7 hours ago
¡No Es Una Mendiga, Es Una Diosa Sanadora
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00The Goddess of Healing.
00:00:03She is eccentric and elusive and no one has ever seen her before.
00:00:08Whoever finds the Goddess Healer will give her five million dollars.
00:00:13Oh, kind stranger, let me repay you by granting you a wish.
00:00:17I wish for you to cure my brother's illness. Can you do that?
00:00:20My brother's a war hero who single-handedly saved his country from a terrorist attack.
00:00:24If he's a hero to you, then that means he must be a good person.
00:00:28It's a deal.
00:00:30I'll save Lysander Armstrong.
00:00:31How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
00:00:35I mean, you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good.
00:00:38That's right. The Queen, Angel, and I are already the top doctors in the world.
00:00:43If we can't save him, no one can.
00:00:46Don't don the mantle of Doctor when you're only capable of harm.
00:00:50Now stop getting in my way.
00:00:53Every second counts.
00:00:58Healer Goddess, hear my plea.
00:01:02Please save my time.
00:01:04Please save my time.
00:01:20Rod of a sepia.
00:01:39Rejuvenate.
00:01:47Praise! She is the healer goddess!
00:01:52No, please. Don't call me that.
00:01:55I'm just glad I could help.
00:02:01Here you go, miss.
00:02:06Why be weighed down by a throne when I can live amongst the common people and help those the most
00:02:10in need?
00:02:23You must be rushing off to go find your jewels, because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and
00:02:28run!
00:02:31Aw, it's okay, little guy. I'll fix you right up.
00:02:40Right. Rewrites the wrong.
00:02:45Rejuvenate.
00:02:50See? Good as the day you can kick him out of your mother's womb.
00:02:56Come on, Cleo. Let's go.
00:03:09Hey, hey, hey!
00:03:13Please. My brother's been in a coma the last two years. We have no idea what the illness is. If
00:03:20anyone can help cure him, we will pay you handsomely.
00:03:22Be Lysander Armstrong. His military family basically owns the entire global stock market.
00:03:28He's so hot.
00:03:30Does he come with the money?
00:03:32Yes. He'll even marry you if you can cure him. Money. Fame. Power. It's all yours.
00:03:42Are we still moving forward, Miss Trixie?
00:03:44Yes. Give the presidential contract to Marissa.
00:03:48Oh, I have another call coming in.
00:03:52Grandma!
00:03:53I'm dying! Save me, Trixie!
00:03:56Grandma?
00:03:58Grandma.
00:03:59When are you getting married? I'm already a hundred years old.
00:04:03I'm gonna keep you healthy forever, Grandma.
00:04:05And Butch is still on deployment, so that's why I haven't been married yet.
00:04:11Oh, but why marry a vegetable when I can bang a younger stud like you?
00:04:18We're talking about my brother's life. I don't have time for jokes.
00:04:23Oh, no!
00:04:32Please go feed your dog, Miss. Don't let it starve like you.
00:04:35Oh, kind stranger. Let me repay you by granting you a wish.
00:04:40Grant me a wish? That you can barely feed yourself.
00:04:42What?
00:04:43The downfall of humanity. It all starts with the loss of faith.
00:04:47What? Oh, geez, this has given me a migraine.
00:04:51Are you telling me to pray to God because we've been doing that?
00:04:54I'm telling you to have some faith in me.
00:04:57Okay, uh, I wish for you to cure my brother's illness. Can you do that?
00:05:03I can topple mountains and make a king out of a frog if I wanted to.
00:05:07Cleo, stay right here for a second.
00:05:09Don't go too far, Cleo.
00:05:14Hold still.
00:05:22My migraine's gone. Okay, then let's go. If you can cure my brother, he'll even marry you.
00:05:28Come on. Come on.
00:05:29Oh!
00:05:42How is he? What is the diagnosis?
00:05:45Remember, you will not marry him unless you cure him.
00:05:48I'm sorry. I don't know what this is.
00:05:51Aren't you the queen of medicine? You're supposed to be one of the best.
00:05:54Don't worry, General. I'm the Angel Herbalist and I have mastered all healing methods of the East.
00:06:00I can detect what condition your son has with just one needle.
00:06:21I have no clue what this is.
00:06:25Oh, it looks like the Angel Herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all.
00:06:30That's why we saved the best for last.
00:06:33Me, the witch doctor.
00:06:35I'll save your son, Lysander.
00:06:47He's not budging. There's no movement.
00:06:49Truly, I have saved thousands of patients all over the world, but I don't know what this is.
00:06:56Lord, I've scoured the earth for the best doctors. They've tried all these methods and they've all failed.
00:07:02If we can't save him, there's only one person who can.
00:07:08Who?
00:07:11The goddess of healing.
00:07:15Wait a second. You're not talking about the legendary goddess healing.
00:07:19That's correct. Her right rewrites the wrong and her left leads the forest. That's her motto.
00:07:26It's what makes her a sage amongst mortals. We are nothing compared to her.
00:07:31She is eccentric and elusive. No one has ever seen her before.
00:07:37If this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my son, I don't care if I go
00:07:42bankrupt.
00:07:43I will find her. James, come.
00:07:46Put out a voucher. To the entire world.
00:07:50Whoever finds the goddess healer will get the five million dollars.
00:07:54There's no need.
00:08:09I'll save your son.
00:08:12Who the hell is she?
00:08:13Dad, she says she can cure Lysander.
00:08:15She's gonna save your brother? Don't be ridiculous.
00:08:18How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
00:08:22Exactly. God, the unemployed are getting crazier and crazier.
00:08:26She's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich.
00:08:29Ew! She even brought a filthy dog with her.
00:08:33I bet it has fleas.
00:08:35That flea-infested, dirty thing is your companion.
00:08:39Don't try to steal Lysander Armstrong from us.
00:08:45Don't touch him.
00:08:49They say don't judge a book by its cover.
00:08:51But I can see from all your faces that you've failed.
00:08:54So step aside.
00:08:56I'll take it from here.
00:08:58Could you hold this?
00:08:59Ho, ho, ho, ho. You're not gonna touch my son.
00:09:02I'm the richest tycoon in this country, and a former general.
00:09:06I know a gold-digging whore when I see one.
00:09:09I bet she's only here because giving blowjobs on the street corners wasn't paying enough cash.
00:09:15Who knows what an unskilled, poor girl like her would do for some.
00:09:19A skinny-ass beggar trying to take advantage of Lysander Armstrong when he's unconscious?
00:09:26Ew! Disgusting.
00:09:28Go back to being a prostitute.
00:09:29Security! Get this STD-infested peasant out of here now. Let's go.
00:09:35If you throw me out, you're tossing away your son's last chance at life.
00:09:41Sir, we are at our wit's end trying to find a cure for Master Lysander into no avail.
00:09:47Maybe we should give her a try?
00:09:49You can always deal with her later if she turns out to be a fraud.
00:09:53Alright, I'll give you a shot.
00:09:55But I warn you, if you fail, I'll have your and your dog's head mounted on my wall.
00:10:01Is that any way to ask for help?
00:10:04You'd be blessed to have me.
00:10:06And I'm only here to repay your younger son's kindness.
00:10:09But since I'm not welcome here, I'll leave.
00:10:14Seven, come find me when you have a different wish.
00:10:16No, Miss Trixie. My brother is a hero to me. I can't lose him.
00:10:23Well, if he's a hero to you, then that means he must be a good person.
00:10:29My brother is a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
00:10:33Also, he's great with puppies. He'd make a great husband.
00:10:38Who says I want to marry him?
00:10:40As if the number one hottest 30 under 30 would even dream of marrying a penniless bum like you.
00:10:47Only a lunatic would be crazy enough to marry her.
00:10:50I mean, look at her. Even if she cleaned herself up.
00:10:53You couldn't find an ounce of femininity on her.
00:10:56Only those cut from the lowest ranks were bigger over such trivial matters.
00:11:00Continue wasting your time.
00:11:02But I'm saving this patient.
00:11:14Oh, okay!
00:11:17What's happening?
00:11:19What are we doing?
00:11:30What the hell are you doing?
00:11:33I knew she was a perv!
00:11:35She's definitely trying to steal Lysander from us.
00:11:37Do you all not know that sweat can tell you everything that's medically wrong with a patient?
00:11:41Are you insane?
00:11:42Security, smash her face in for licking my son!
00:11:46He's born with congenital heart disease, has a peanut allergy, and the condition he has is called endogenic cryomorphy.
00:11:54Yeah, right! I mean, no way you got all that just from licking him!
00:11:58Oh, okay. I've studied every disease known for man, right?
00:12:01I even have the badge of universal medicine right here.
00:12:05And I've never heard of endo-cryo-what?
00:12:12This?
00:12:18Is worth nothing when I have the real thing right here.
00:12:22What?
00:12:23What? So you think that this crummy walking stick of yours is, what, THE rod of a sepulius?
00:12:30Why don't you go back to the homeless asylum where you came from if you're going to be this delusional?
00:12:35I agree. I mean, even if she does solve this medical mystery, what is the point of us doctors who
00:12:41have studied for years?
00:12:42We are all certified.
00:12:44But Lysander does have congenital heart disease.
00:12:48She's right about everything.
00:12:52Yeah, but if she just throws out a bunch of fake diagnoses, one of them is bound to be right.
00:12:57And again, there is no such thing as endo-cryo-what-what!
00:13:00Endogenic cryomorphy.
00:13:02Oh.
00:13:02And of course none of you have heard of it.
00:13:04Because I just discovered it.
00:13:07This condition only affects those with both CHD and a peanut allergy.
00:13:11The chances are a billion to one. A hundred times rarer than winning the lottery.
00:13:15But lucky for you all, you've hit the jackpot by finding me.
00:13:20What a bunch of baloney.
00:13:22I mean, you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good.
00:13:26Precisely. You are just a scamming prostitute.
00:13:30You don't compare to meet us who actually studied real medicine.
00:13:35I bet you were too poor to go to real medical school.
00:13:39Oh, so she went to the super circus instead.
00:13:42And now she's here putting on this clown show coming up with fake diseases.
00:13:46Which mean nothing if you can't wake him up.
00:13:50Is that supposed to be a challenge?
00:13:52Oh, yeah.
00:13:54If you three incompetent doormats want to show me up,
00:13:58I think you all should grow parts of your brain back.
00:14:01Which, by the way, that condition is called an encephaly.
00:14:05What is that supposed to mean?
00:14:06It means you're being schooled by me.
00:14:08And I'm about to walk all over your medical licensees.
00:14:12Then let's have a bet.
00:14:14If you can't heal him, we'll break your hands.
00:14:20And then you can't pretend to have healing hands anymore.
00:14:24Mm-hmm.
00:14:26These hands have saved more lives than all three of you combined.
00:14:30You're that desperate to get rid of your competition, huh?
00:14:33Miss Trixie, don't risk your hands for them.
00:14:37There's too many lives at stake.
00:14:41Don't worry. I got this.
00:14:45It's a deal.
00:14:47I'll save Lysander Armstrong.
00:14:49No one is dying on my watch.
00:14:57Lysander Armstrong has been in a vegetative state for two years.
00:15:04Are you stopping me because you're scared I'd actually succeed?
00:15:07Homeless or not, if you save my son, I'll give you everything.
00:15:20I'll even have Lysander, my heir, marry you.
00:15:23I'm not doing this for the money or for a wealthy husband.
00:15:26I just believe in helping good people and doing the right thing.
00:15:31Prepare a jacuzzi set at exactly 113 degrees Fahrenheit.
00:15:34Wait, wait, wait. What for?
00:15:35Don't listen to her.
00:15:38She probably stinks so bad that she just wants a bath to wash the homeless stench off of her.
00:15:43Firstly, this is called greatness.
00:15:46Secondly, even if you drown yourself in plastic surgery,
00:15:50you couldn't get rid of your own ugly moral character.
00:15:54What? Did you just call me?
00:15:58There's a man's life at stake here, and you're standing in my way.
00:16:02Don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm.
00:16:07Now stop getting in my way, or I promise you,
00:16:10you will be bubbling at the mouth very soon.
00:16:13Oh, yeah?
00:16:13You wanna see real pain? Where's the dog?
00:16:16Well, put down the dog!
00:16:17With pleasure.
00:16:34Left. Leave the wrong breath.
00:16:37Oh!
00:16:41You don't deserve to call yourself a doctor.
00:16:46She's poisoned!
00:16:48It was her!
00:16:49Do you see any poison on me?
00:16:52Medicine in the right hands can save lives,
00:16:54but in the wrong hands, it becomes nothing but poison.
00:16:58This bitch isn't good enough to take down the queen of medicine!
00:17:01Do you have one of your antidotes on you?
00:17:03Of course.
00:17:05I've saved entire civilizations with my antidotes.
00:17:08If I wanna save someone, even the Grim Reaper can't stop me.
00:17:28Why is she skidding blood?
00:17:29This wasn't supposed to happen!
00:17:31I thought you said even the Grim Reaper can't get in your way.
00:17:34Angel herbalist.
00:17:35This is what I call...
00:17:38Malpractice.
00:17:40This isn't fatal. She'll live.
00:17:41But she deserves a little punishment.
00:17:44Well, where's the jacuzzi I asked for?
00:17:46Jacuzzi is ready?
00:17:47Right this way.
00:17:49Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
00:17:50What the hell is going on?
00:17:51You say you want your son to live on to give you tons of grandchildren, don't you?
00:17:56Then stop getting in my way. Every second counts.
00:18:00Let's go for a dip, shall we?
00:18:06General Armstrong, your family is the richest and most powerful in the nation.
00:18:11Are you really gonna let this hobo slut touch your son?
00:18:15Hold on. You two are going in there... alone?
00:18:18If you don't want these drooling vultures to see your son naked, then sure, invite everyone in.
00:18:25Alright. But I warn you, no fun business.
00:18:44Let's go.
00:18:59I'll show you how thisесс they are.
00:19:02Let's drive and stop.
00:19:03If you don't want them, let's be happy for a little bit.
00:19:03It's 화�ron's family.
00:19:03You want them, they're a little bit.
00:19:04Let's drive.
00:19:04Let's drive over and grab them and grab them for a little bit.
00:19:06Let's drive around.
00:19:06Let's drive around.
00:19:06Oh, you want to drive around.
00:19:30You really shouldn't leave your precious son in there
00:19:32with that homeless conwoman, General Armstrong.
00:19:35Exactly.
00:19:35What if she gets pregnant by him?
00:19:38She could blackmail you.
00:19:40For millions.
00:19:42That's what I would do if I was that poor.
00:19:44And then the Armstrong family will be the laughingstock of the nation.
00:19:47Pelt for ransom.
00:19:49By a homeless woman.
00:19:51Dad, you can't seriously be listening to that.
00:19:53We have to have faith.
00:19:55Where did you actually find this little life?
00:19:59Uh, on the streets.
00:20:02Are you shitting me?
00:20:04You found this bum on the streets?
00:20:06Are you nuts?
00:20:07You don't know her.
00:20:08You don't know her background.
00:20:09She could be a psychotic murder.
00:20:11That is it, General.
00:20:12You have to go in and stop this now.
00:20:14You're right.
00:20:15That's it.
00:20:15I'm shutting down this clown show right now.
00:20:17James, let's go.
00:20:18Yes, sir.
00:20:29I told you all to stay out.
00:20:32No!
00:20:36This is a critical moment for you.
00:20:38We can't be interrupted.
00:20:40Otherwise, we'd both die.
00:20:45I'm not going to let this homeless hoochie mama trap my son.
00:20:51I'm going to save him myself.
00:20:53No!
00:20:54No!
00:20:58You see that, General?
00:20:59This isn't just a gull-dicking con woman.
00:21:01This is a witchcraft.
00:21:04I know what this is!
00:21:06This is the dark witch.
00:21:08I've heard of her.
00:21:09She uses her dark magic to steal the hearts of young, handsome men, and then she eats them alive!
00:21:15I'm going to kill that bitch before she takes my son.
00:21:18James, get the SWAT team.
00:21:21Yes, sir.
00:21:25You regain consciousness.
00:21:37Help me.
00:21:38I just want to...
00:21:43Something's wrong.
00:21:47You were drunk with an aphrodisiac.
00:21:49Lysander Armstrong and his fortune will soon be mine.
00:21:54That's one more thing I'm saving you from.
00:22:04Sir?
00:22:05The SWAT team missing out.
00:22:07Captain Morales.
00:22:09My son is trapped behind there with a devious, man-eating witch.
00:22:14I need you to do whatever you can to tear down that door.
00:22:18Rest assured, General Armstrong.
00:22:20We'll break down that door and bury that bitch alive.
00:22:28Bryce rewrites the wrong.
00:22:37Who the fuck are you?
00:22:38Who the fuck are you?
00:22:39And why the hell are we in it?
00:22:41Good.
00:22:42You're awake.
00:22:43I'm saving you.
00:22:45Saving me?
00:22:46By bathing with me?
00:22:48Who are you?
00:22:49You're a fucking spy?
00:22:51Talk!
00:22:51I swear to God, I will have you arrested for this.
00:22:55You're the one who's trying to kiss me and your stripper.
00:23:00I will never.
00:23:01Oh, really?
00:23:03Really?
00:23:15Look who's guilty now.
00:23:19Look, I don't know what the fuck this is, all right?
00:23:21But it is a biological fact.
00:23:24A man is attracted to a naked woman.
00:23:28And her breasts.
00:23:29Science, okay?
00:23:30It just means that my body is physically...
00:23:32It's physically...
00:23:35You're just acting like you're flying.
00:23:37And I'm a professional.
00:23:39I hear Lysander's voice.
00:23:41Captain, do something now.
00:23:43Ready!
00:23:49We're almost better.
00:23:51Aim!
00:23:53Get him, boys.
00:23:54Get him!
00:23:56Fire!
00:24:00Fire!
00:24:15Those demon seals.
00:24:17How is this possible?
00:24:19It's not even a scratch.
00:24:21I told you this is dark magic.
00:24:23Of course, your earthy bullets won't do a thing.
00:24:25No.
00:24:26I believe Miss Trixie is a good person.
00:24:28She's not the dark witch.
00:24:30Young Master Armstrong, you are too easily fooled.
00:24:34This homeless psycho doesn't even have the skills to make a living.
00:24:38How is she going to save someone else's life?
00:24:40That's right.
00:24:41The Queen Angel and I are already the top female doctors in the world.
00:24:45If we can't save him, no one can.
00:24:48Except for the goddess healer.
00:24:49Think about it.
00:24:50We heard Lysander's voice.
00:24:52He's been in a coma for two years.
00:24:54Miss Trixie must have woken him up.
00:24:55You're right.
00:24:56This homeless girl is maybe the goddess.
00:25:01Maybe this homeless girl is really the goddess.
00:25:04No!
00:25:04No!
00:25:06Absolutely not.
00:25:07There is no way this hobo girl is better than us.
00:25:10How could you know for sure?
00:25:12Right now, what we need to do is not interrupt Miss Trixie.
00:25:15You're wrong, sir!
00:25:16This homeless snake is using the forbidden techniques on Master Lysander.
00:25:21It's called Borderline Revival.
00:25:23She uses torturous pain to wake the patient.
00:25:26But only temporarily.
00:25:28It's a trick to pull the wool over your eyes and ears.
00:25:33That means my son is in tremendous pain.
00:25:35I'm going to ask you two to do whatever you can.
00:25:38To kill that antler rod bearing witch.
00:25:41My son doesn't deserve this.
00:25:43He is dying right now, naked, in a jacuzzi, with a smelly vagrant.
00:25:48Then it looks like it's up to me.
00:25:50The witch doctor.
00:25:51Only I know the right techniques to take her down.
00:25:56My son's life is in your hands.
00:25:58You heal him, I will give you whatever your heart desires.
00:26:02I don't know who you are, but there is no way I am letting you rip my golden bachelor away
00:26:08from me.
00:26:10This is it.
00:26:12It's the machine touch.
00:26:14I must now give you the kiss of life.
00:26:17So we can both survive.
00:26:37It's poison gas.
00:26:39Poison gas will smoke them out and end her torture over Master Lysander.
00:26:43Poison gas?
00:26:45My son is in there.
00:26:46You're jeopardizing his life as well.
00:26:48No, don't worry, General.
00:26:50Gold diggers like her only care about themselves.
00:26:53Soon, she'll come out crying to Mommy.
00:26:56Then we can reverse the poison on your son, and then he can marry one of us.
00:27:01They really won't stop until they get both of us killed.
00:27:07I knew they promised you that I'd save you.
00:27:10Now or never.
00:27:23What the hell are they doing in there?
00:27:25It's been over ten minutes.
00:27:27Wait a second.
00:27:28You don't think that they're...
00:27:30You!
00:27:31You suffocated my brother and Miss Trixie in there!
00:27:34Don't point your fingers at me!
00:27:35If your brother's dead, it's because of that homeless gold digger!
00:27:39Oh my god.
00:27:40Yeah!
00:27:40She's the one who sealed the door shut.
00:27:42I mean, she probably locked themselves in there on accident.
00:27:46Miss Trixie wouldn't have to do that if you weren't trying to sabotage her from saving my brother!
00:27:51This is taking way too long!
00:27:53Captain Morales, time to get out the big guns.
00:27:57These bazookas can flatten even a bomb shelter.
00:28:01Bazooka?
00:28:01She won't be able to hide even if she's the devil himself.
00:28:05Crap.
00:28:05Oh my god.
00:28:06Get back, son.
00:28:08Ready.
00:28:10Aim!
00:28:10Oh, shit!
00:28:15Quit your whining and stand down!
00:28:29The parasite's been extracted!
00:28:31Shoot her dead now!
00:28:33Do I need to fix your hearing too?
00:28:35I said stand down!
00:28:38Don't listen to her.
00:28:39She's a fraud.
00:28:40A termite to the field of medicine.
00:28:42I just saved this man that otherwise would have died in your care.
00:28:46If I'm a termite, then...
00:28:48You're worse than a disease-spreading tick.
00:28:51Wait a second.
00:28:52Are you saying you cured my son?
00:28:54He'll wake in just a moment.
00:28:55You can see for yourself.
00:28:57Well, now you're just asking to be exposed.
00:29:00That is it!
00:29:01No more stalling, General!
00:29:03If you won't punish her, I will.
00:29:08Don't hurt her.
00:29:14He's a cure!
00:29:21His pulse is regular.
00:29:22In fact, it's never been better.
00:29:27There's no sign of illness, infection, or disease.
00:29:38Miss Trixie did it, Dad.
00:29:40Lysander's warm again.
00:29:41He's not cold and pale like before.
00:29:44And his heart is strong.
00:29:45Come, feel it!
00:29:48I saved my son.
00:29:51Next time, don't go seeking medical advice from those with ill will.
00:29:54Your son would have otherwise died by their greedy and unskilled hands.
00:29:59I've learned my lesson.
00:30:00I will not let these two nutjobs ever practice their voodoo voodoo magic again.
00:30:05Wait, wait, wait, no, no, there is only one person in the world who is more skilled in
00:30:11the field of medicine than the queen, angel, and I, and it's the goddess healer.
00:30:20Could you really be the goddess of healing?
00:30:22But rumor has it that the goddess of healing is well over 100 years old, and you don't look
00:30:29a day after 20.
00:30:30It doesn't matter who I am.
00:30:32What matters is that the patient is healthy again.
00:30:35Devon, I've repaid your kindness by fulfilling your wish of saving your brother.
00:30:39Take care.
00:30:40No, wait.
00:30:41Miss Trixie, we still haven't fulfilled our promise to you yet.
00:30:44He's right.
00:30:45We are men of our words, and as I promised you, my heir, Lysander, would take you as a
00:30:50wife if you cured him, and you did just that.
00:30:52Of course, you're welcome to marry me instead.
00:30:56Oh, I really appreciate it, but I'm sorry, I'm already engaged.
00:31:05Already engaged?
00:31:06I am.
00:31:07I've been patiently awaiting his return from deployment for the last three years, and he's
00:31:12coming back today.
00:31:13But don't be disappointed.
00:31:15Really, I'm no one special.
00:31:17I just got lucky with your brother.
00:31:19Some guru taught me that spa water can cure all kinds of ailments.
00:31:23But you're still Lysander's savior.
00:31:24Please, let me give you what I promised.
00:31:27Take the gold.
00:31:28No, really.
00:31:30I don't need anything.
00:31:32I just believe in doing good in the world.
00:31:38Trixie, it's your fiancee.
00:31:40He's back, and he says he's breaking up with you.
00:31:45I must go.
00:31:52Hobo close.
00:31:54Halo glow.
00:31:55I bet the goddess healer is just like Miss Trixie.
00:31:58It was just dumb luck.
00:32:00She's even dumber for not accepting his marriage proposal.
00:32:03She could have been the richest woman in the world, marrying the hottest, most powerful
00:32:08bachelor around.
00:32:12I'm going to marry that homeless woman.
00:32:18Oh my God.
00:32:19I mean, I don't know about that homeless bimbo, but this is godly.
00:32:25No, no, no, no.
00:32:27My sister, my sister's job is supposed to be mine.
00:32:31I so much rather share him with you than let that penniless, ugly bitch have him.
00:32:36You two nutjobs are a disgrace to your profession.
00:32:39Take these two weirdos out of here and revoke their licenses.
00:32:43No.
00:32:44We're not for us.
00:32:45No, she's just better than us.
00:32:48Oh my God.
00:32:50Oh my God.
00:32:52We were truly blessed to have Miss Trixie here, huh?
00:32:55She's no average Jane.
00:32:56No, she isn't.
00:32:57She said it was just dumb luck.
00:32:59But if she truly had these special skills, why did she wear that shit-stained dress and
00:33:04had an impeccable-looking doll?
00:33:05But think about the impenetrable walls.
00:33:07No normal person could have done that.
00:33:09Goddess or not, homeless or not, I don't care.
00:33:13I have never met a woman like that.
00:33:14I have to find her.
00:33:15I have to make her my life.
00:33:17She won my heart over too.
00:33:18But if my bestest big bro wants her, I'll help you find her.
00:33:22All right, listen.
00:33:24I need help finding three wedding gifts.
00:33:31I'm dumping Trixie.
00:33:32So I want you, your granddaughters, filthy things out of my house now.
00:33:39Trixie paid for this house.
00:33:41She waited for you for three years.
00:33:44She was dumb enough to put my name on the lease.
00:33:46And I'm upgrading for a better girlfriend now.
00:33:48One with some serious fuck you money.
00:33:51So get lost.
00:33:52Who gave you permission to bark like a rabbit hanging on my house?
00:34:01Grandma.
00:34:03Beatrice, Trixie, Amore.
00:34:06I've been dying to throw this in your face.
00:34:09I'm dumping you for your best friend, Marissa.
00:34:13In fact, the wedding's tomorrow.
00:34:16So sign over the house now.
00:34:22You gave me this ring and asked me to wait.
00:34:26And I did.
00:34:27For three years while you were deployed.
00:34:30Yet you cheat on me with my best friend.
00:34:32And now you're trying to swindle my home?
00:34:35Do you have no shame?
00:34:37We were together for three years.
00:34:39And it was a complete waste of my life.
00:34:41When I could have been with a loaded girl like Marissa.
00:34:49That's how much you would owe me if I was in the rent-a-boyfriend business.
00:34:54I see you're fulfilling your highest aspirations of being a low-grade male prostitute.
00:35:03Oh, yeah?
00:35:03Well, Marissa is so much better than you.
00:35:08She grew up even poorer than you.
00:35:11And now she's the CEO of an entire corporation.
00:35:18And you?
00:35:20There's still nothing.
00:35:22So you think she's an upgrade?
00:35:25Of course she's an upgrade.
00:35:27Look what she got me for my engagement.
00:35:30Oops.
00:35:32Yeah.
00:35:33That's maybe worth one millionth the presidential contract I gave her.
00:35:42You gave her the presidential contract?
00:35:44I certainly did.
00:35:45In fact, Marissa, you and your dimwit brother only have everything you have all thanks to me.
00:35:57Oh, I think she's losing it, bro.
00:35:59That breakup must have hit her hard.
00:36:02You two are the ungrateful, cheating scum here.
00:36:06My granddaughter supported you and your entire family for three years while you were gone.
00:36:12How dare you insult her?
00:36:15Okay, Grandma.
00:36:17Let's not stoop to that level.
00:36:20Poor Edna.
00:36:21She still doesn't know what you're doing out there on the streets, huh?
00:36:24What is he talking about, Jersey?
00:36:26Show her, Bob.
00:36:32This is how embarrassingly useless your granddaughter is.
00:36:35She didn't purchase this house on her own.
00:36:37She was begging on the street for money.
00:36:40I can't be caught with a piss-poor nobody like you.
00:36:44Even if you got no game, I got street cred I got out of keep.
00:36:47You dig?
00:36:47The word you're looking for is dignity.
00:36:50And you're one to speak, cheater.
00:36:54Is this true, Trixie?
00:36:59I've been broadening my horizons, Grandma.
00:37:02I want to see how regular, everyday people live so that I can help them.
00:37:07Of course, those without substance underneath would never understand that.
00:37:11What is that supposed to mean?
00:37:13It means the new girlfriend you think is an upgrade is actually a downgrade.
00:37:21Enough bullshitting already.
00:37:22Just sign the damn papers and we can each get on with our lives.
00:37:38At your wedding, I will.
00:37:41If you won't do good by me of breaking things off before two-timing you with my best friend,
00:37:46why should I do good by you?
00:37:48I'll give you my John Hancock at your wedding as a charity to you.
00:37:54Fucking bitch!
00:37:55You better keep your word.
00:37:57Oh, that's rich.
00:37:59After tomorrow, you will never feel so rich ever again.
00:38:02Do remember that.
00:38:10Trixie, Marissa's a millionaire now.
00:38:13They'll destroy you if you show even so much as a hair at their wedding.
00:38:17Grandma, I have to confess something to you.
00:38:20I've secretly amassed a fortune worth trillions.
00:38:24Trillions?
00:38:26That would make you the richest person on the planet.
00:38:31Because of the healing hands I inherited from Assepolis, the god of healing.
00:38:36I've saved several world leaders with these hands.
00:38:39That's how I was able to give Marissa the presidential contract and become the goddess healer.
00:38:44It makes me angrier hearing her name knowing how she betrayed you.
00:38:48But please, Trixie dear, I know it was to broken your heart.
00:38:53But embellishing your worth and who you are, it will only delay the healing process.
00:39:00You don't have to believe me just yet.
00:39:02After we lost mom and dad because we didn't have the money for their medical bills,
00:39:07I vowed that I would do everything I can to serve those in need.
00:39:12And that's why I'm taking everything back from Butch and I'm giving it back to Charity.
00:39:16You've always had an angel's heart.
00:39:18I'm certain you will meet someone who will treat you right.
00:39:22Who actually deserves you.
00:39:24You will see tomorrow, Grandma.
00:39:27Oh, yeah.
00:39:33You said Trixie's crashing into my wedding.
00:39:36She was bullying us too, Sasa.
00:39:38She's probably trying to extort you now that she knows you're rich as fuck.
00:39:42We're not when nobody steps on a snake.
00:39:45Because a snake bites that car.
00:39:47So let her come and embarrass herself.
00:39:49Yeah.
00:39:50You mean...
00:39:53We broadcast...
00:39:54That video?
00:39:58Yes.
00:39:59Her cavewoman's take the 19th century tin can.
00:40:02She'll prop me up higher on my pedestal and the whole world sees her in her homeless mess
00:40:06against my presidential glow-up.
00:40:09Let's turn this party into her funeral.
00:40:17There he is.
00:40:20Welcome home, brother.
00:40:22Welcome home, General!
00:40:26Sir, the homeless woman who saved you, Miss Trixie, this is the file of her ex, Butch Tanner.
00:40:31He served with her regiment in the Marine.
00:40:33You mean the Butch Tanner that can barely carry supplies?
00:40:36Well, she's been providing for him and his entire family while he's been deployed overseas, sir.
00:40:40So she waited for him for years and then he betrayed her?
00:40:43Fucking coward.
00:40:44According to intel, she's planning to bring it down on them at their wedding.
00:40:47Then we should join her.
00:40:50Men, I'm only alive today because of that virtuous woman and her incredible power that saved my life.
00:40:55So she needs our support.
00:40:57Will you join me in protecting her?
00:40:58Yes, sir!
00:40:59We will allow our lives to protect her, sir!
00:41:02Then let's roll.
00:41:18Welcome, everyone, to my wedding.
00:41:20Today is a very special day for me and Butch.
00:41:22Not only are we getting married, but in just one hour, my company will be receiving the presidential contract,
00:41:27allowing my biomedical company to go public.
00:41:34Congratulations on the contract once again, Mrs.
00:41:37Wake him.
00:41:38Stowe, Butch is taking my last name.
00:41:40Oh, and please don't be so uptight, Secretary Cho.
00:41:43You are the secretary of the entire U.S. Health Department, but this is a par-tay, after all.
00:41:48I see some of the most important people in the nation have also arrived to celebrate you.
00:41:55The U.S. president will also be arriving soon to give you the contract herself.
00:42:01It's an honor.
00:42:02And that's why Sasa is the best wife a man could ever dream of.
00:42:07We will make sure the crowd is entertained tonight.
00:42:10Let the wedding begin!
00:42:13Not so fast.
00:42:15The party doesn't start until I say it does.
00:42:38You two really are a match made in hell.
00:42:41So I've come to save your guests from this oncoming train wreck.
00:42:45I don't recognize her from any of our elite circles.
00:42:48Who is she?
00:42:48Um, this is our entertainment for tonight, sir.
00:42:52Just watch.
00:42:55Trixie, what are you doing here?
00:42:57This isn't the homeless shelter you lost.
00:42:59I bet she's here to bum a meal off us.
00:43:01You know, being this poor.
00:43:05Me?
00:43:05Bum a meal?
00:43:07Have you forgotten that it was I who bankrolled you two for the last three years?
00:43:10And what evidence do you have of that?
00:43:12Look at me, then go look at yourself in the mirror.
00:43:15I'm a millionaire CEO.
00:43:17Even the first woman president will be here any second now to congratulate me.
00:43:21And you're nothing but a washed up sewer rat.
00:43:24Sasa.
00:43:25She's like, so obsessed with me.
00:43:27She's like,
00:43:29See, everyone?
00:43:30Butch already cut ties with his ex,
00:43:32but she's so shameless and desperate that she'd still show up to my wedding to suck up to me.
00:43:38This is what poor, sad girls do.
00:43:41They beg for scraps from us, the rich and glorious.
00:43:46Projecting much, Marissa?
00:43:47You might feel all high and mighty now,
00:43:49but don't bite the hand that feeds you.
00:43:51Especially when I'm the one who's giving you the contract.
00:43:59You giving me the contract?
00:44:01You have no skills, no education, no connection.
00:44:05So how could you possibly have a pool to get the U.S. fucking president
00:44:09to give me a billion dollar contract?
00:44:12We both share humble beginnings, Marissa.
00:44:14And I saw potential in you.
00:44:16Even trusted you as my best friend.
00:44:18But I recognize now that greed has poisoned you.
00:44:22Don't be all sore now just because I stole your man.
00:44:25This is what us rich girls do.
00:44:28They steal from lame spinsters for fun.
00:44:30Damn right.
00:44:32You were too embarrassing for me.
00:44:35Sasa tramples you any day.
00:44:37I can say that now that I'm marrying the rich.
00:44:40Bravo.
00:44:41Self-admission of a gold digger.
00:44:42Quick, somebody put that on a memoir.
00:44:45Sasa, she's embarrassing me in front of everyone.
00:44:47You should make her sup.
00:44:48Don't listen to her, everyone.
00:44:49She's the gold-dicking, blood-sucking leech.
00:44:52I don't even have to lift a finger
00:44:54and you're already embarrassing yourself in front of everyone for me, butch.
00:44:58You may look and sound like a man, but you're nothing but a pathetic coward.
00:45:03Okay, enough.
00:45:03You know what I always couldn't stand about you?
00:45:06Your moral posturing.
00:45:08But guess what?
00:45:09Morals are just lies to make you and girls feel better about yourselves.
00:45:13That's why no man will choose you over Marissa Trixie.
00:45:16Because I've got the material goods.
00:45:19You're just all empty talk.
00:45:20I'm not here to request to be chosen.
00:45:23Because I'm the one who's doing the choosing.
00:45:26See this?
00:45:38Oh my god.
00:45:40Is that the billion dollar contract for Sasa?
00:45:45The one that's supposed to make us all rich as fuck?
00:45:47No, absolutely not.
00:45:49I don't believe it.
00:45:51You all sound so scared already.
00:45:53Don't worry.
00:45:54This isn't that contract.
00:45:56It's the lease to the modest home you try to swindle from me.
00:46:02See everyone?
00:46:03She's just trying to bluff us.
00:46:05But you don't even have the guts to go all the way.
00:46:07Look at her following orders.
00:46:08I asked her to sign over the lease and here she is.
00:46:11Like a good little peasant slave.
00:46:14That house is worth all her life savings.
00:46:19You want to, I don't know, beg for a little treat while you're at it?
00:46:33You must understand me.
00:46:35I'm here to take back everything I've ever given you.
00:46:38I'm giving it to charity.
00:46:46Bro, she's gone cuckoo in the head.
00:46:48She thinks that just because she rented a pretty little dress she can pretend to be a deep pocket-investing
00:46:53baddie.
00:46:53You wish you had that kind of money to just toss away, Trixie.
00:46:56It's just a drop in the bucket for me.
00:46:58Uh, I know what this is.
00:47:01You've gotten delusional.
00:47:02And you think you're Cinderella so you can just show up to a fancy party and some Prince Charming will
00:47:07scoop you into money forever?
00:47:09Well, that's not happening.
00:47:10Security, lock the doors.
00:47:12This woman doesn't leave until we're through with her.
00:47:18This is where your dreams will die, bitch.
00:47:23We found Miss Trixie Lysander.
00:47:25She's being cornered by her ex and his mistress at the Wickham wedding right now.
00:47:28Butch Tanner.
00:47:29Well, he's going to wish he died in battle after I'm done with him.
00:47:32Let's go.
00:47:36You think a few toy guns scare me, Marissa?
00:47:39I've saved plenty of people for much worse.
00:47:43Including your head of command, Butch.
00:47:45General Lysander Armstrong.
00:47:47You mean the legendary war hero?
00:47:50He's been in a coma for years after he saved the nation from a terrorist attack.
00:47:54You're an unskilled, unemployed, ugly leech.
00:47:58So how could you possibly have this magical ability to heal someone like General Lysander Armstrong?
00:48:04No one here is going to believe you.
00:48:05Have you really cured the incurable general?
00:48:07Then Sasa is the fucking Virgin Mary.
00:48:10Andrea.
00:48:11You're just asking to be humiliated, Trixie.
00:48:14You show them, Butch.
00:48:21See for yourselves, everyone.
00:48:23Trixie's just a reloading beggar.
00:48:28She won't leave me and Marissa alone because we're rich as fuck now.
00:48:33I'm a major in the Marines.
00:48:35Sasa, she has a billion-dollar biomedical contract with the military.
00:48:40Approved by the first female president of the United States.
00:48:44herself, bitch.
00:48:45How despicable.
00:48:46She's just trying to leech off you like a parasitic gold digger.
00:48:50Get out of here.
00:48:51No one wants to marry you.
00:48:52No free meals for the poor.
00:48:54Do you see this, Trixie?
00:48:57This is high society.
00:48:59So you're either born on a silver spoon or you're as accomplished as me to be here.
00:49:03Maybe if you do some serious dick-sucking here, maybe someone will drop a couple bucks in your tin can.
00:49:12I already have everything one can dream of, but I valued our friendship, Marissa, which is why I came here
00:49:17to give you a second chance to see if you'd apologize and admit to your backstabbing.
00:49:21But now, you stooped so low, it disgusts me.
00:49:26Nothing is more disgusting than you standing on street corners like a bum.
00:49:31And who knows, if you've already started offering sexual services?
00:49:36Well then, why don't you get on your knees for me, Trixie?
00:49:40My brother will never take you back.
00:49:43No man will marry an embarrassment like you.
00:49:46But make me happy?
00:49:48And I might consider making you my personal prostitute.
00:50:01How dare you hit my brother?
00:50:03I'm never letting you leave here alive.
00:50:06I saw that.
00:50:07I saw that.
00:50:08Don't worry, my dear.
00:50:09After I'm done with you, Trixie, not even the goddess of healing will be able to save you.
00:50:15Oh, is that so?
00:50:18Security!
00:50:20Get down on your knees and give Bob one hell of a blowjob in front of everybody here,
00:50:26or I'll pop so many holes in you, the men here won't know which one to fuck.
00:50:30I don't need to be the goddess of anything to punish you.
00:50:33Any of the powerful leaders I've saved before could crush you before you even touch me.
00:50:38Dream on!
00:50:40You wish General Lysander scooped you off your feet, but you weren't good enough for me.
00:50:44You're definitely not good enough for him.
00:50:46Enough!
00:50:48You're souring my party, so you either get the fuck out, or I'm going to shoot you.
00:50:54On the count of three!
00:50:55I think I quite like it here.
00:50:57Two!
00:50:57Two!
00:51:07Mmm.
00:51:09This wine is so delicious.
00:51:12One!
00:51:13Shoot!
00:51:15Nobody is laying a hand on my future wife.
00:51:25It's...
00:51:27It's...
00:51:27It's...
00:51:36Who the hell is this?
00:51:41I'm sorry that I'm late.
00:51:42Did they hurt you?
00:51:44No.
00:51:45I'm fine.
00:51:46But, um, when did I become your future wife?
00:51:50You saved me, Trixie.
00:51:53Remember?
00:51:54I'm a man of my word.
00:51:55They're never going to hurt you ever again.
00:51:57Really, it was nothing.
00:51:59I saved you because you're a good man, not because I want you to owe me any favors.
00:52:10I see what this is.
00:52:11You're the one who cheated on me, Trixie.
00:52:13Look at you guys, all lovey-dove.
00:52:15Don't try to pin this on her.
00:52:17She waited for you for three years.
00:52:18This is the kind of woman of virtue that a man would die for.
00:52:23Virtue?
00:52:24Don't make me laugh.
00:52:26She's probably out there giving blowjobs for cash.
00:52:29No man who, in a hundred-foot pole, would want to touch her.
00:52:33She should be happy Bob was willing to give her some.
00:52:39I see her in the Marines.
00:52:43I'm a major.
00:52:44You know, look, man.
00:52:45I know Trixie is like a, I don't know, like a seven now that she's all cleaned up.
00:52:50But don't waste your manhood on a whiny, worthless woman like that.
00:52:59A real man never talks about a woman, no way.
00:53:04You're a coward.
00:53:14We don't need to fight fire with fire to deal with the likes of them.
00:53:18You're very gracious, Trixie.
00:53:20You know that?
00:53:23You're only getting off of it because she's so kind.
00:53:25So you're going to do me the favor of never coming near her again.
00:53:28You understand?
00:53:28You want to fuck with me, you little dipshit?
00:53:30I'm a fucking major.
00:53:32You're probably lowest rank of the military grunts.
00:53:35I'll, I'll destroy you.
00:53:37Do you really not know who this is, Butch?
00:53:39I thought you were in the Marines.
00:53:41What have you been doing this whole time if you don't know who this war hero is?
00:53:45He was just a supply boy.
00:53:49War hero?
00:53:51Is this all part of your plan, Trixie?
00:53:54Poor girl.
00:53:55Did you sell your house to hire this actor so you can feel better about yourself?
00:53:59A woman's worth is tied to the man she married.
00:54:01I think Trixie is worthless because that guy looks like a cowboy.
00:54:08A bum girl and a pimp.
00:54:10What a pair.
00:54:12Seems like they don't know who you are since you've been out of action for so long.
00:54:16Maybe we should try to piss them off some more.
00:54:18Don't you think?
00:54:20Bring in the wedding gift.
00:54:28What is all this?
00:54:30Trixie, listen, I know that you didn't ask for anything after you saved my life.
00:54:35But I know that we shared a moment.
00:54:40I'm not the kind of man to get close to a woman and then just disappear.
00:54:43It's not in my nature.
00:54:46I'm like somebody else here.
00:54:48Listen, Trixie.
00:54:50I have never met a woman like you.
00:54:55So incredible and kind and beautiful.
00:54:58So I know that you're the one for me.
00:55:03This guy's either nuts or a really, really good actor.
00:55:08Oscar worthy.
00:55:09Oscar worthy.
00:55:10No.
00:55:11First gift.
00:55:17Trixie, I know that you just lost your home.
00:55:19So I'm gifting you with your own new mansion.
00:55:23Worth $500 million, previously owned by Jennifer Aniston.
00:55:29Second gift.
00:55:32This contains all the rights to my entire fortune, which is now yours.
00:55:38Entire fortune from a cowboy actor?
00:55:41It must be pennies.
00:55:42They already spent their entire life savings on this clown show.
00:55:45They've got nothing left.
00:55:46Alexander, I really don't care for any of you.
00:55:49Look, I know.
00:55:51I know that you are the farthest thing from a material woman.
00:55:54Okay?
00:55:55Which is exactly why my third gift is, um, wealth.
00:56:15Cleo!
00:56:16Hey!
00:56:17Oh my God.
00:56:20You found my dog.
00:56:24Trixie, I'm just a man.
00:56:26But with you, it's so much more.
00:56:29Trixie and Morty.
00:56:33Will you marry me?
00:56:36You know I can't say no to this doggo.
00:56:42Yes, I will marry you.
00:57:00Go, go, power couple.
00:57:02Woo!
00:57:03Ha ha!
00:57:04Okay, stop.
00:57:05The only power couple here is Butch and I.
00:57:09Let's remind everyone how worth it Trixie is.
00:57:13No man in their right mind would marry that embarrassing sack of scraps.
00:57:19Hey.
00:57:19I don't care if she's homeless or not.
00:57:21But I'm making this woman my wife.
00:57:23Which means that she will be treated as, and cherished as, the most precious woman on earth.
00:57:29Understand?
00:57:33You still don't realize that my brother is the most powerful man on earth.
00:57:38This is General Lysander Armstrong.
00:57:47As if, like the almighty General Lysander Armstrong would propose to a homeless prostitute like Trixie.
00:57:54Yes, the Armstrong family basically controlled the global stock market.
00:57:58Lysander Armstrong would sooner marry the Princess of England than someone from the lowest rank of society.
00:58:04I bet my life you're all just...
00:58:06Hector's.
00:58:07Then you better enjoy your last breath.
00:58:09Come on, Lysander.
00:58:10What are we waiting for?
00:58:11Let's show them what we can do and get revenge for Trixie.
00:58:13What can a bunch of piss poor people do to us, the Elise?
00:58:16Insect us with your poor people bad luck?
00:58:19She wishes.
00:58:19She could blame her low status on bad luck.
00:58:22Truth is, she's just a useless, lazy bitchin' bum.
00:58:26She's utterly unmarriable.
00:58:30I can dispose of them in other means if you don't prefer violence.
00:58:34I'd handle them myself, but I'll let you do all the heavy lifting.
00:58:41Go ahead, Lysander.
00:58:49Yes, hello, this is Lysander.
00:58:50Please, to bankrupt Marissa Wiccan for me.
00:58:54Oh my gosh, I'm so scared.
00:58:56Anyone these days could call anyone and pretend to be on the phone.
00:59:06Uh, hello?
00:59:08Yeah.
00:59:11What?
00:59:16I'm going to bankrupt!
00:59:20Hey, hey, hey.
00:59:25Hey, hey, are you sure that was the call, Sussman?
00:59:29That was a real call?
00:59:30People don't just suddenly go bankrupt like that.
00:59:32My company's dead.
00:59:33It evaporated.
00:59:35It's a thin air.
00:59:39That's impossible.
00:59:41Who are you?
00:59:42What did you do?
00:59:44Secretary Cho, you said you're the Secretary of Health, right?
00:59:47And you yourself said that the Armstrong family owns the entire global stock market.
00:59:51Could that be how they bankrupted Miss Wickham?
00:59:55Then that means...
00:59:58You're really Lysander Armstrong, the richest and most powerful man in the country.
01:00:04Trixie's marrying the famed war hero, the man every girl wants and every man wants to be.
01:00:11Now you believe me?
01:00:13Those who do bad will always end up losing everything.
01:00:17There's got to be some trick to this.
01:00:19You guys are just bums trying to extort money from us.
01:00:22Sussman.
01:00:23Sussman.
01:00:24Sussman.
01:00:25Sussman.
01:00:30I know why you're all over, Trixie.
01:00:33Because you've been in the military for so long, you don't know what a real woman can do for you.
01:00:37Let me take you to my wedding chamber and I'll show you a good time.
01:00:43Do you have to hug your hands for me or I'll have them removed for you.
01:00:47Sussman.
01:00:50Sussman.
01:00:51I would never be interested in a woman who's...
01:00:53As vile and cruel and wicked as you are.
01:00:57Guess the cheater gets cheated on eventually.
01:01:01Sussman.
01:01:02Sussman was just trying to save the company.
01:01:04I don't blame her at all.
01:01:05Your double standards are incredible.
01:01:07Well, okay, you don't want me.
01:01:09Fine.
01:01:10But there's plenty of other efficiency.
01:01:12I can give you a room full of pageant winners.
01:01:15Eighteen years old.
01:01:16Fresh for the taking.
01:01:24I did that so you wouldn't have to, Miss Trixie.
01:01:27Thank you, Devin.
01:01:29Marissa, not only have you backstabbed me, your best friend, by stealing my fiancé, but
01:01:36now you'd sell out other innocent girls just to get your company back?
01:01:40You're an insult to all good women out there.
01:01:42No, to all of humanity.
01:01:44So now, everything that I've ever given you to, I'm taking it all back.
01:01:51Wait, everyone, stop.
01:01:55They're imposters.
01:02:00I just got off the phone with the president and she said your contract is not getting cancelled
01:02:04because it was assigned by the goddess healer herself.
01:02:07So we won't go bankrupt?
01:02:09The goddess healer?
01:02:10You mean the eccentric and highly elusive sage in the field of medicine approved of my biomedical product?
01:02:17Yes, that's the highest honor anyone can have in the field of health and medicine.
01:02:21The goddess healer's motto is the right rewrites the wrong, the left leaves the wrong bereft.
01:02:28That means she's rewarding me.
01:02:30The president would never let your company go bankrupt.
01:02:33In fact, she's on her way now.
01:02:37So you're telling me, this dashingly handsome motherfucker over here isn't Lysander Armstrong?
01:02:44Who the fuck cares who he is?
01:02:45If the president and the goddess healer approves of my product, who cares about this washed-up
01:02:50war hero?
01:02:50We can break his legs, break his arms, no one would even bat an eye.
01:02:54She even gave us explicit permission to call upon secret services.
01:02:58FBI!
01:02:59FBI!
01:03:01You're under arrest for fraudulent claims and identity theft.
01:03:06Gotcha.
01:03:10Guess I still get the last laugh, Trixie.
01:03:13No, don't arrest her!
01:03:15Trixie's a good person.
01:03:17Please, officer, don't arrest her!
01:03:19Grandma, Mr. Rogers, this is Williams.
01:03:22What are you all doing here?
01:03:23The neighbors heard about the breakup between you and Butch.
01:03:26We were worried, so we came here to back you up.
01:03:30Listen, officer, I can attest that Trixie Amoria is a good neighbor.
01:03:34She's very kind-hearted and would never break the law.
01:03:37Yes, and one time when my daughter needed university tuition, Trixie gave her everything she had just
01:03:43to help her out.
01:03:44She also paid for my recent heart surgery as well.
01:03:47No, my fiancé really is an incredible woman.
01:03:50She's an angel descended from heaven.
01:03:57You must be the criminal pretending to be General Lysander Armstrong.
01:04:01My brother is not a criminal.
01:04:03He's a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
01:04:07Without him, this whole country would have been bombed to ash.
01:04:10And that's why it's twice the crime is stealing his identity.
01:04:14General Lysander Armstrong only fell into a coma because of the fight with the terrorists.
01:04:18And we've received no word that he's woken up yet, so this must be an imposter.
01:04:23I can tell that this whole dilemma with my identity is causing you a lot of trouble.
01:04:27I promise that I'll get it resolved and we can focus on taking down your scumbag ex.
01:04:33If you want to arrest me, fine.
01:04:36But don't fuck with my fiancé.
01:04:38You don't get to decide, punk.
01:04:39Let's go!
01:04:43Let's go!
01:05:02Get him!
01:05:03If you can.
01:05:04Let's go!
01:05:55Is that enough pain?
01:05:56Or do you want more?
01:06:06Legend is written all over you, Lysander.
01:06:10Grandma.
01:06:12Meet my new fiancé.
01:06:16Wow, your new fiancé.
01:06:18He's so manly.
01:06:20Much better than your last one.
01:06:22I always knew you'd find someone better.
01:06:25It's Butch's loss.
01:06:26Trixie has always been so much better than Marissa.
01:06:29She's like a shining star in the sky and Marissa's like a roach in the sewers.
01:06:35Bitch, we name-calling them?
01:06:37I'll drown you out with insults from my side, right, Sam?
01:06:40Drown out the poor!
01:06:41Drown out the poor!
01:06:43Drown out the poor!
01:06:46Drown out the poor!
01:06:47Drown out the poor!
01:06:47Drown out the poor!
01:06:48See, Trixie, you've got no connections, no power.
01:06:52You can't compete against me, even if you have one guy on your side who can fight.
01:06:56We're too honorable to fight dirty like you.
01:06:58So you're using defenseless lives as your shield because you know we won't hurt them.
01:07:03Let them eat cake!
01:07:14You can't shoot all of them.
01:07:15Grab what you can, fam.
01:07:17Attack!
01:07:35You will not hurt a single soul in my presence.
01:07:43What the fuck was that?
01:07:44I don't care what the fuck it was!
01:07:45I'm not letting her make a fool of me at my own wedding!
01:07:56Damn it!
01:07:57I'll step it, I'll step it!
01:07:59You forgot I had a gun, too?
01:08:02That'll teach you for messing with the wig hands.
01:08:04Take Mr. Trixie and her family and get out of here.
01:08:06We're cornered.
01:08:07I'll sacrifice myself to fend them off.
01:08:10Devin, you and your brother are both good men.
01:08:13I will not let your injury be in vain.
01:08:15They will be punished.
01:08:19Now hold still for me.
01:08:23Right.
01:08:24Rewrites the world.
01:08:36Holy fuck!
01:08:37Did she just reverse the bullet?
01:08:39By chanting the goddess healer's chance?
01:08:40She's the goddess healer?
01:08:45I'm all better now.
01:08:47Thank you, Mr. Trixie.
01:08:49See, I knew that you were no ordinary woman.
01:08:52No.
01:08:53Please.
01:08:53I am just an ordinary girl.
01:08:55Don't put me on them sort of pedestal.
01:08:57Sure.
01:08:59You hear that?
01:09:00She's just some average homeless girl on the streets.
01:09:03She was probably holding out a super magnet that drew out the bullet.
01:09:05While I do not care for glory, I do believe in justice.
01:09:10Marissa and Butch, not only have you betrayed me, but now you've hurt the innocent too.
01:09:15I will make you both pay for your crimes.
01:09:17And who are you to judge me for what I do?
01:09:20God?
01:09:21Wrong.
01:09:23But you're close.
01:09:24I'm bullshit.
01:09:25I'm gonna show you how the elite can trail board you little lives.
01:09:30You want to cross the line so bad?
01:09:33Then let's see you try.
01:09:34Charge!
01:09:43The hell is this?
01:09:45This is the line between life and death.
01:09:49Yo, was that extra neon spray paint?
01:09:52I'll admit it looks pretty good, but I'll die before I believe that's magic.
01:09:57You're not the Grim Reaper.
01:09:59What if it's a trap?
01:10:00That woman has many tricks up her sleeves.
01:10:02We ain't afraid of her.
01:10:03She's nothing but a circus prostitute.
01:10:06Why don't you cross the line and see for yourself?
01:10:09I will.
01:10:13Left leaves the wrong rest.
01:10:22I'm fine.
01:10:23Nothing happened.
01:10:25You'll see soon enough.
01:10:26Oh, please.
01:10:27I really want to die.
01:10:29And you call this the line between life and death?
01:10:31I knew you were just making that shit up.
01:10:34Whoops.
01:10:34Just crossed it again.
01:10:36Whoops.
01:10:37And again.
01:10:38Nothing's happened to you.
01:10:40Stop.
01:10:41Stop.
01:10:45Stop.
01:10:46Stop.
01:10:47Stop.
01:10:53What do you do to my brother?
01:10:55I didn't do anything.
01:10:56Your brother just didn't want to heed my warning.
01:10:59I suggest you take him to the U.R.
01:11:02If you don't want your wedding to become his funeral.
01:11:05Come on.
01:11:06Major.
01:11:07Are you not going to help your own brother?
01:11:09How was he able to cross the line?
01:11:11See, this must be an illusion.
01:11:15Only the pure of heart can cross the line.
01:11:18Will somebody take my brother to the hospital, please?
01:11:27You're so sore I wouldn't marry you.
01:11:29You'd go and hurt my brother.
01:11:30Oh, please.
01:11:32You hurt us first.
01:11:34At first, I was really hurt by your betrayal.
01:11:37But I've come to realize your true colors are that of a snake and a coward.
01:11:41Marissa, thanks for taking this little life from me.
01:11:45You blame yourself for being worthless.
01:11:49You think anyone would want to marry you when you've got nothing to offer?
01:11:53When you wear odd and crazy clothes all day?
01:11:59Don't touch my wife.
01:12:03And instead, Trixie gets a handsome and protective husband.
01:12:08You can daydream all you want now, Trixie.
01:12:10But when the presidential contract arrives, it'll hit you like a fucking truck.
01:12:15That you're nothing but an ugly phony, and I'm the queen of everything.
01:12:18Oh, really?
01:12:19Then let me show you how it is I who has everything you want.
01:12:23You've got nothing on me.
01:12:28Yes.
01:12:29Tell the president to get here immediately.
01:12:35Goddess!
01:12:36Madam President, I require your assistance.
01:12:39Yes, we'll be there immediately.
01:12:44Get the VP.
01:12:45We're leaving now.
01:12:49Did she just pretend to call the first woman president of the United States?
01:12:53God, I knew you were cheap, but I didn't know you were crazy, too.
01:12:56I'm so glad I dumped you for Marissa.
01:12:59You're pathetic, Trixie.
01:13:01A secretary to remind everyone how I have the presidential contract coming?
01:13:04Miss Wickham is correct.
01:13:06I was on the phone with the president earlier.
01:13:08Only the most important people have Madam President's direct line.
01:13:12You hear that, everyone?
01:13:13There is no way low-life Trixie could have called the president by herself.
01:13:19She's just a desperate phony who doesn't get enough male attention, so she's come here
01:13:23to play up her importance.
01:13:25No, my granddaughter would never do that.
01:13:28Reversing time just to heal someone's wound, only the Goddess Healer can do that.
01:13:33Is Trixie really the Goddess Healer?
01:13:38Oh, first, your boy toy actor pretends to be the war hero General Lysander Armstrong,
01:13:47and now you, Trixie, are pretending to be the Goddess Healer who gave me my presidential contract?
01:13:52Is this how the working class think all the time?
01:13:56I never realized how delusional they were.
01:13:59You can only dream of what you can never have while we rub our riches and privilege in their faces.
01:14:05Look, I don't know what circus school you went to, but you trying to make me jealous, Trixie?
01:14:09It ain't working.
01:14:10You can't just fake the...
01:14:14Yeah, but Goddess Healing Power is...
01:14:17Legendary.
01:14:18It's like real magic.
01:14:19Trixie, you're an angel, but the Goddess Healing is beyond your imagination.
01:14:25And if we steal her identity just to punish her ex, won't her followers be furious and riot
01:14:30against you?
01:14:32No.
01:14:33Trixie, look.
01:14:35I believe you.
01:14:36You saved me.
01:14:38Whether you're a Goddess or not, you did that.
01:14:41No matter what happens, you are a Goddess to me.
01:14:45We'll riot against you now.
01:14:47Tear her apart!
01:14:48Tear her apart!
01:14:50Tear her apart!
01:14:52Tear her apart!
01:14:53Tear her apart!
01:14:54Tear her apart!
01:14:55The Vice President arrives!
01:15:11Who dare cause ruckus in here?
01:15:17You're General Lysander Armstrong.
01:15:20Wait, what? He's actually General Lysander Armstrong?
01:15:24No, no. We've been through this already once, okay? Right, Secretary Cho?
01:15:29This actor Trixie Hires pulled this weird stunt to try to bankrupt me.
01:15:35But you already confirmed with Madame President that I got the contract coming still, right?
01:15:39Yes. We all thought he was a fraud.
01:15:41What I mean is, you're the war hero, General Lysander Armstrong.
01:15:47And how dare you crash Miss Wickham's wedding?
01:15:50The moment you wake up, you fall under this vixen spell?
01:15:54And now you're attacking one of the most important allies to the President?
01:15:58He is the General. Oh, but he's in trouble now.
01:16:02Did you hear that? Even the Vice President knows me as an important ally to the nation's leader.
01:16:08So what if Trixie picked up some washed-up war hero?
01:16:11We got the VP and the President.
01:16:14On our side, you'll always be nothing, Trixie.
01:16:18I told you. Now punish them, Vice President Langley. This is treason!
01:16:23Lysander Armstrong, you are stripped from your military honors and titles.
01:16:30Hurry! The Goddess Healer needs us!
01:16:35You can't do that, Mr. Vice President. My brother is a war hero.
01:16:40He single-handedly saved this country from terrorist attacks.
01:16:42He was in a coma for two years. If it wasn't for Miss Trixie, he would-
01:16:45Enough! You speak another word and I will bring down your entire family.
01:16:50Not just your brother.
01:16:52Yeah. It's okay.
01:16:55Mr. Vice President, I've already given my life once for my country.
01:16:58I have no problem doing that again if it means protecting my fiance's life.
01:17:03And let's be honest about one other thing, Mr. Vice President.
01:17:06I never gave a fuck about any damn titles.
01:17:11I truly saved a good man.
01:17:18I will not let you bring ruin to my fiance.
01:17:22And what can you do about it?
01:17:23Oh, Mr. Vice President, I have a swell idea.
01:17:26My biomedical company invented the latest line of poison darts for the military.
01:17:31Let's try it out on them.
01:17:34Hold on, Mr. Vice President. There's no way that you're taking this seriously.
01:17:37Put innocent civilian lives in danger? Despicable!
01:17:40What's more despicable is that you and your filthy companions are disrespecting power.
01:17:46Miss Wickham, you can use full force on them.
01:17:50Did you hear that, boy?
01:18:04Shoot!
01:18:05Wait, that's the President.
01:18:10Americans in here!
01:18:12Don't even notice.
01:18:19They've killed but they've killed.
01:18:20Do I have knowing what they have done?
01:18:22Okay.
01:18:23Verse 4 out.
01:18:23Oh, my God!
01:18:24Oh, my gosh.
01:18:28I-I-I'm so sorry, Madam President.
01:18:31That was...
01:18:31They were totally aiming at Trixie, the fraud in the middle.
01:18:35What is this?
01:18:37Oh, that's my new biomedical weapon, madame, for your military.
01:18:41This is a war crime.
01:18:42These are innocent civilian lives you're messing with.
01:18:45You're the uncivilized buffoon.
01:18:46I can shoot whoever I want. I have the presidential contract.
01:18:49With great power comes great responsibility.
01:18:51And this is the kind of dastardly creation you've made with the contract I gave you?
01:18:56What are you doing? Reverse the poison.
01:18:58And take it out of the present before it's too late.
01:19:00That is easy.
01:19:02There's no need.
01:19:03And I'll save everyone.
01:19:18It's raining gold!
01:19:21What's happening?
01:19:23Trixie doesn't have that kind of money.
01:19:24It's got to be cheap glitter.
01:19:28She... she... she is...
01:19:31She is a criminal.
01:19:33Don't worry, Madam President. We will arrest her and we'll throw her in prison.
01:19:36I'd be quiet if I were you.
01:19:37Because you're the one that will be going to prison once everyone is healed up.
01:19:41What are you talking about?
01:19:42The President literally came here to give me my billion dollar contract.
01:19:55This contract?
01:19:57Yes! Yes! Thank you, first gentleman.
01:20:17My contract, you bitch!
01:20:19And that's not all.
01:20:32This foul weapon will not see the light of day.
01:20:35There is only a need for a vaccine if there is a virus.
01:20:38Don't you realize?
01:20:40Or are you too much of a goody two-shoes to understand that?
01:20:43You're the real virus here, Marissa.
01:20:46Money is worth more to you than human lives.
01:20:48And that's something I cannot tolerate.
01:20:51So prepare yourself.
01:20:52Because I'm about to smite you.
01:20:56What are you going to do?
01:20:57The President is here and I just invented the best biomedical products in the world.
01:21:04And you'll pardon me for that little mishap, right?
01:21:07Madam President, you've recovered now.
01:21:10So what's your final decision?
01:21:14I'll...
01:21:15She's going to give me my billion dollar...
01:21:21I'll smack her until she sees 50 stars.
01:21:28Why are you attacking me, Madam President?
01:21:31You're supposed to be giving me the billion dollar...
01:21:34You wish!
01:21:35You idiot!
01:21:38I've never seen a woman so vile, so ugly on the inside, it makes me want to vomit.
01:21:43I don't understand.
01:21:45I was just trying to punish these impostors for posing as the goddess of healing.
01:21:50And do you know the goddess healer saved me and my son during childbirth?
01:21:56Have you really seen the goddess healer herself in the flesh?
01:22:00The one and only.
01:22:04And it's...
01:22:06Her.
01:22:17What?
01:22:22Welcome, goddess.
01:22:35You really are the goddess of healing, aren't you?
01:22:37How else did you think I saved you?
01:22:40Then why did you keep it a secret for so long?
01:22:44I wanted to walk the earth as a normal person.
01:22:47Help those in need.
01:22:49And make sure the man I chose loved me for me.
01:22:53No, so that means the billion dollar contract, it was you who gave it to me?
01:22:58And she took it away just like that.
01:23:02That was her golden ticket.
01:23:03You were once my fiancé and best friend.
01:23:06But after everything you've done, we're officially getting ties with you both.
01:23:10No, please, I swear.
01:23:12I didn't know you were an exorcist.
01:23:16It doesn't matter who she is.
01:23:18Trixie has a heart of gold.
01:23:20She's an amazing person.
01:23:21And you ruin that the moment that you betrayed her.
01:23:25She's going to be my wife.
01:23:26Because she is the most beautiful and amazing woman on this planet.
01:23:35I love you.
01:23:48All her gold.
01:23:50All her gold.
01:23:52All that could have been mine.
01:23:54This is all your fault.
01:23:55This is all...
01:23:56You seduced me!
01:23:59You were the one that came onto me, you himbo.
01:24:02Please, Trixie.
01:24:04Give me another chance.
01:24:06I want to be rich again.
01:24:08I'll be your slave.
01:24:09I'll kiss the ground you walk on.
01:24:12You've had your chance to apologize.
01:24:14But it's too late now.
01:24:16All I see is your greed and how much you'd hurt others just to benefit yourself.
01:24:20You two should be locked up.
01:24:22And she shall.
01:24:24For creating illegal weapons of mass destruction.
01:24:26Arrest Marissa and Butch Wickham.
01:24:30It's all your fault, Marissa.
01:24:31I never loved you.
01:24:33It's your fault!
01:24:34I was only with you for your money.
01:24:36I don't care.
01:24:36You were rich.
01:24:38You fouls in itself.
01:24:40Ow!
01:24:40Rest assured, goddess.
01:24:42We will not be using these biomedical weapons.
01:24:45My platform is spreading kindness, just like you.
01:24:49I knew you'd uphold our shared values.
01:24:51That is why I saved you.
01:24:54With these healing hands, I will work tirelessly to change the world one good deed at a time.
01:25:00Well, let's not let this wedding go to waste.
01:25:05Let's party!
01:25:07Wait.
01:25:08What if we just got married?
01:25:09Right now?
01:25:10Yes.
01:25:11Well.
01:25:12Woo!
01:25:15Do you take each other to be your lawfully wedded partner?
01:25:20I do.
01:25:21I do.
01:25:21Give me a kiss the bride.
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