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00:02i was a slave yet every night i had to take luna's place and sleep with the alpha
00:07on the bed i begged him to mark me and make me one of his mates
00:11please make me your wife what are you thinking you're nothing but a slave
00:18i close my eyes every wolf in the pack knows kaelin doesn't just love lady vivian he worships
00:25her so the next morning i walked straight to the pack matriarch and kneeled before her i volunteered
00:31to marry her eldest son kaelin's dying brother firstly shocked then the pack matriarch's eyes
00:36filled with tears after the ghost marriage is done you'll have to keep widow's ville for your mate
00:43forever my good child have you truly thought this through i will have no regrets alpha kaelin and
00:51lady vivian had gone deathly pale on the full moon night kaelin came to vivian's room again
00:56i watched them through the crack in the door his voice low and honeyed her laugh like silver
01:01vivian left to wash up cheeks ruined with wanting before she went she killed every candle as always
01:08an hour later i stepped into the dark his scent hit me first and my traitorous body answered
01:14heart slamming skin tight why are you so cold i was outside watching the snow truth is i'd been
01:23shivering at the threshold in a thin slip for an hour waiting for her signal like a good little ghost
01:30you smelled a pause my heart stopped the tincture so nice his mouth found mine in the dark his
01:39hardness reached my soul before dawn i knelt at vivian's feet and recited him every whisper every
01:53mark blooming purple on my throat her expression curdled then she walked back into his arms kaelin
01:59caught her hair around one lazy finger and sneaking out to find yourself another wolf she swatted him
02:05pouting prettily as if she were the one vivian was beautiful and chronically devastatingly fragile
02:11kaelin saw her at the spring hunt gathering he fell instantly offered her the first mate rank before
02:17the night was over perfect together everyone said so as her bonded handmaid i was genuinely happy for
02:23them until their bonding night
02:28three nights in a row no completed bond no mating mark overnight vivian became the pack's
02:35favorite joke desperate vivian invented the switch every night candles out handmade substitutes
02:41masking tinctures rubbed into my skin until i smelled like her ghost of all her handmaids only i was a
02:48viable double vivian and i were built from the same blueprint the same narrow waist the same pale slope
02:54of shoulder and throat side by side in daylight the resemblance was unsettling in total darkness with
03:00masking tinctures working through my skin his wolf couldn't tell the difference what vivian hadn't
03:06accounted for i was not fragile she broke under kaelin's hands i did not what she couldn't endure i
03:13simply survived body learning the architecture of his need learning to anticipate it relax only three
03:21years my body will recover then i will give you enough gold to live well outside the mansion
03:26think about it my whole family's safety rested in her hands i had no choice one hour later vivian and
03:34kaelin finally rose i returned to my quarters briefly then went in to lay out the morning meal
03:42why are you dressed like that i didn't know how to answer i pressed my lips together kaelin bit hard
03:49darling you've forgotten selena is mute i nodded quickly serving vivian meant constant proximity to
03:56kaelin and she was terrified of exposure so she declared me mute the entire pack believed it
04:03your little mute is striking sad almost how pretty she is
04:07and what exactly does my alpha mean by that has she caught your eye i haven't blamed you for
04:12anything yet and you're already turning on me
04:16kaelin had pushed too far last night i'd wept myself hoarse then bitten him hard he'd walked
04:22through silver and hellfire to earn his title scars mapping him from throat to hip he wouldn't care
04:29about a few teeth marks this whole performance was foreplay i don't know how much time passed
04:35you insolent thing you dared bite him are you challenging me i had no time to defend myself
04:42vivian had me bound dragged to the supply outbuilding no food no water kaelin had left
04:48for the border territories however long he was gone i stayed locked up i was barely breathing when
04:54my sister found a way through briar had bribed the guard slipped a bowl of broth under the door
04:59she was my younger sister sister what did you do to make the lady so angry briar when will kaelin
05:05be
05:05back the guards say tonight and he's going straight to the ladies room what else was happening in the
05:12mansion the alpha haired his wolf spirit is fading again the pack healers say there's nothing left to
05:16do they're preparing the rates lucian the elder brother cursed since birth fading never anchored to
05:22this world he's never taken a mate the matriarch doesn't want him to cross alone she's looking for
05:27someone willing to complete a spirit bond a spirit bond with a dying alpha heir meant grieving him
05:32forever no high-ranking female would consent not even the lower ranked handmaids at dusk they released
05:39me i'd be needed that night selena i was impulsive i meant to release you hours ago but things got
05:46away
05:46from me don't hold it against me of course not my lady my lady it has been three years when
05:53will
05:53i leave the pack mansion you want to leave yes my body hasn't healed kaelin still needs you if you
05:58insist on leave i'll simply use briar instead your sisters the voice the build close enough how old is
06:03she 13 or 14 then could kaelin at least give me a rank reaching for status now if i wanted
06:13kaelin to
06:13take a new mate i have a hundred candidates you would never make that list don't bother trying
06:19to go through kaelin directly you're a convenience to him even if you ended up in his quarters permanently
06:27i could have you removed with a single word but every unmated female is supposed to be matched
06:34eventually eventually was i supposed to be her substitute in bed for the rest of my life the
06:42gatekeeper's son is your age when you turn 16 next year i'll arrange the match the gatekeeper's
06:47son a man with a child's mind and fists like hammers hitting because it was the only thing he knew
06:54only by being bound to someone that broken would i remain useful and too far gone to threaten her
07:01kaelin returned to find me kneeling you're home you must be exhausted this girl broke the crystal
07:08chalice from the western alliance i've had her kneeling kaelin stepped over me without a glance
07:14what's the status on my brother i've asked every unmated female in the pack
07:19the spirit bond sounds like a curse to them none of the young wolves will agree what's there to agree
07:24about find a female threaten someone she loves and it's done that kind of coercion would be hard to hide
07:29from your mother enough gold and fear will find a willing body and if you handle this well my mother
07:38might finally look at you differently and every time kaelin came back from the border he spent the
07:45whole night making up for lost time he was an alpha who'd spent weeks at war he came home hungry
07:52and he made that hunger my problem that night i gave him everything pushed past my own limits to
08:00match him why so eager tonight did you miss me i rarely initiated he noticed good girl near dawn
08:09i came back to myself in pieces trying to run again
08:17my wolf has always been sense sensitive
08:23i've known about your lady's little switch since the beginning
08:26no wonder he grew bolder every time which meant he never held back
08:31it was all for me then why won't you give me a rank a rank she's the one who brought
08:38you here
08:38i'm not going to be the one to claim her handmaid that would fracture our bond she was right
08:43a she-wolf taken for free why give her a title what grows in the dark stays small
08:51speechless with joy thank you for your generosities alpha i'm afraid i don't have the kind of luck to
08:57deserve it you've shared my bed for years don't get ideas above your station he didn't like greedy
09:02she-wolves he had others bonded females all with bloodlines gifts from allied packs and yet since
09:11vivian came he never touched them the pack praised him for devotion and he wore that praise like armor
09:18a handmaid born to serve was never meant to stand beside him the colder i became i was born low
09:27i don't deserve a rank and i don't belong in your quarters i only hope you and the lady are
09:31devoted
09:31to each other until the end the next morning briar heard of vivian's plan to marry me off to the
09:36gatekeeper's son we served her faithfully how can she be this cruel that brute would be a slow death
09:43the thought lingered then twisted into something darker if i couldn't escape fate i would choose it
09:50i will take the spirit bond with lucien the matriarch stared then broke into astonished relief
09:56she asked my name my birth date my bloodline the pack shaman consulted the moon charts and looked up
10:02nodding this female spirit signature aligns with the heirs in a way i have not seen in decades
10:08she was born into hardship which means she carries the kind of resilience that could anchor him
10:13the bond will serve him well in the next life kaylin and vivian arrived quickly once word spread
10:18they walked in together to find me sitting at the matriarch's feet working the tension from her
10:23ankles kaylin's voice came first amused sharp this is the female who agreed to bond with my brother
10:29whoever's handmaid she is she has a rare heart mother you must reward her well i turned and faced
10:35them kaylin went very still it's me alpha kaylin lady vivian's you're supposed to be mute i can speak
10:44my lady simply prefers i don't vivian's face turned to chalk i didn't know your household contains such
10:51a loyal soul but once this bond is sealed you'll carry his grief for the rest of your days are
10:56you
10:56certain i will never regret it the hand hanging at kaylin's side curled into a fist he stared at me
11:02like i had become something he didn't recognize wild tell me what you want silver land titles anything i can
11:10grant is yours i turned and looked at vivian she held her smile together but she took half a step
11:16back after a long pause i dropped my eyes i have a younger sister briar i asked that she be
11:21transferred
11:22to your personal household matriarch she's already part of this pack i'll see to her for the rest of
11:27her life vivian's smile pulled thin mother briar came with my dowie pack she's my bonded household i'd
11:34hate to be ungenerous but she's a handmaid mother wants her give her over kaylin's voice cut across
11:40hers flat and final the matriarch's expression had gone stone cold bring the bond papers
11:48i will find briar a secure place before i pass you don't have to worry about her ever again
11:55i hadn't expected the matriarch to think about her entire future moved beyond words
12:00thank you matriarch i promise to care for lucian with everything i have when the matriarch spoke
12:06of her eldest son she couldn't stop the break in her voice i was pregnant with lucian during the dark
12:12coven war the fear marked him at birth he came into the world without breath without a wolf spirit
12:21his father had returned victorious that same night and brought someone with him from the deep forest
12:26a shaman the shaman's methods were outside anything the pack had seen he brought lucian back from the
12:32edge of nothing it should have been a miracle but the shaman warned them pulling a spirit back across
12:37that threshold was a transgression against the laws of wolf and moon lucian could live but only for 30
12:44years no more and so it had been lucian had grown up slight unable to shift into warrior form but
12:50razor
12:51sharp in mind a natural strategist a scholar he'd won council honors young but the older he got the
12:57weaker his body became eventually he stopped leaving his territory altogether retreating to a lakeside
13:03cabin at the edge of the pack mansion since i had agreed to the spirit bond i was to remain
13:08at his side
13:09word was that he didn't allow anyone to serve him just the shaman who had stayed all these years the
13:15shaman brought me into the cabin while lucian was asleep i looked at his face his lashes trembled
13:20faintly with each shallow breath he was two years older than kaylin 27 the brothers looked nothing
13:25alike kaylin was bronze and hard-edged from years of combat training lucian was fine boned pale as snow
13:33almost startlingly beautiful in a way that made you forget to breathe i spent the afternoon learning
13:38his preferences when the sun touched the horizon lucian finally woke it was time for his medicine i'd
13:44spent the afternoon learning to brew it from the shaman so you're the female who plans to bond with my
13:48corpse yes get up he picked up the bowl calmly i don't want it what are you gonna do about
13:58it lucian
13:59looked up a thread of provocation in his gaze the shaman had told me lucian was a person of pure
14:04instinct all feeling no armor earned honors at 15 and had the makings of something extraordinary ahead
14:11of him then one evening a hunting trip with kaylin ended with lucian falling off the cliff
14:17and drown in the water his wolf spirit seizing and three days of unconsciousness the matriarch had
14:23broken every servant in his household for failing him and sold the rest lucian didn't treat servants
14:29like livestock he'd read too much and thought too hard to do that alpha hair i genuinely can't force you
14:40but since we're going to be bonded eventually perhaps i looked down at the dark liquid
14:45perhaps i should start exercising a mate's authority now either you drink this or or what the shaman had
14:54told me lucian had refused medicine for six months that was why he was hovering at the edge of nothing
14:59at this rate he wouldn't survive to spring
15:16when i looked at him again vivid color had bloomed across his face like dawn breaking on the frost those
15:22butterfly wing lashes were trembling with outrage i thought distantly of every arrogant she-wolf
15:29kaylin had ever teased into furious helpless blushing lucian's expression was painfully similar
15:34a prick of guilt moved through me i forced my own pulse to slow keeping my voice steady
15:40if you won't drink i'll be forced to do that again
16:00alpha hair your color has improved over these past few days your skin isn't as cold as it
16:05was that's the medicine working medicine is useless the shaman works hard to brew it if you pour
16:11it out every time he'll be heartbroken watch testing the temperature alone takes constant
16:18checking to preserve the potency i've only been doing it a few days and my hands already look like this
16:24he pressed his lips together said nothing and drank the rest of the bowl without being asked after
16:30that he never made me beg him to drink his medicine again half a month later the shaman gave the
16:37matriarch
16:38his report lucian had genuinely improved no longer at death's edge could it be a final surge before the
16:46end no it's real healing this one is responsible i told you before her wolf spirit signature is a natural
16:53compliment to his she steadies him the matriarch looked satisfied when she turned to me her eyes
17:00were almost tender how has selena been caring for you she's been taking very good care of me
17:12alpha lucian may not know but when selena was serving in my household her skill at attending to
17:18calen was quite exceptional as well such a good servant the air went very still is that how you
17:26speak to your future sister-in-law vivian you are young but that is no excuse for ignorance of pac
17:34law
17:35shut up stop embarrassing yourself days later did you hear about it vivian had found another substitute
17:44she looked for a maid again not from the pack's own hand tates she'd bought a woman from outside
17:49trained and shaped to match her voice and build exactly how do you know because calen lit every
17:53lantern in the room that night and when he saw what he saw he beat woman half to death and
17:57threw her
17:58at vivian's feet viviana fainted and then he said if she refused to truly share his bed he would never
18:03come to her rooms again they're sleeping in separate dens now separate dens meant every wolf in the pack knew
18:08the bond was broken no mates devotion no matriarch's approval no pups no wonder vivian looked like she
18:15hadn't slept in a month he looked fragile in the lake wind unsteadying i went back to get his clothes
18:32is it you
18:36was it always you answer me you think you can play mute with me again
18:49silence won't save you
18:52silence i don't need your voice to confirm it one night and i'd know for certain had he lost
18:58his mind i spent three years with a woman and she's going to be bonded to my brother how dare
19:07you
19:07make fools of us both especially me would a rank at my side really be worse than grieving a dead
19:13man
19:13forever do you actually want to bond with a corpse i just want to survive
19:24if i didn't do this she'd give me to someone who'd break me
19:29a formal bond even a broken one would have made me untouchable
19:34useful to no one forced to stay her shadow forever before he could recover i stomped hard on his foot
19:43and
19:43ran i was still stumbling when i rounded the corner what took you so long
19:50i smiled walked over and settled the cloak around his shoulders but he simply brushed my hand away
19:56somehow he lost balance and fell his chest had a severe bruise just leave me i am not your burden
20:06lucian like to sit there open a book in the shade why did you really agree to the spirit bond
20:12i didn't want to be given to the given to the gatekeeper's son i thought it would be something
20:18like that what is it to guess that it would be like this the shaman pressed a small wooden box
20:24into
20:24my hands should i start calling you mate of the alpha please don't my future most likely was a
20:31silent room in a shrine grieving him in his name until i followed with the shaman gone i took on
20:36more
20:37responsibility including helping lucian bathe i watched his ears and tried not to smile had no one
20:46ever helped him bathe kaylin had always kept half a dozen female attendants for bathing a younger version
20:53of me would have died of the blush alone but i wasn't that innocent girl anymore there was a
20:58phrase i'd found in one of his books a broken moon a she-wolf who'd been claimed and discarded
21:03the text said that's what i was what strange things are you reading now i tucked it behind my back
21:11i'd memorized a passage and presented it to him like a prize look at you impressive you sound like
21:19you're humeering a child how old are you 18 i have almost a decade on you to me you are
21:28a child
21:29the shaman had introduced new compounds performed old rituals at the edge of firelight burned offerings
21:36and whispered things i didn't catch speak a wish you do it i want you to be happy what does
21:45that look
21:45like your body heals you find a mate who deserves you a pack of your own a life that finally
21:51goes
21:52the way it should have do you mean that our eyes met i looked away did i mean it it
21:58didn't matter what
21:59mattered was the shaman's ritual apparently worked because lucian decided he wanted to leave the cabin
22:04i asked him where he wanted to go he studied me for a long moment there's a moon festival gathering
22:10tonight i've heard the town lights the whole river festival fires were always burning somewhere nothing
22:15special but since coming into vivienne's household i hadn't been to a single one the longing had been
22:21sitting quietly in me for years that night a young noblewoman arrived with her escort they said used
22:27to getting everything she reached for in the river of lantern light and moving bodies she found lucian
22:32seconds loser buys dinner at the finest inn in the city what do you say and she walked straight up
22:37and
22:37challenged him to a game of darts i've forgotten who won i only remember the brightness in her eyes
22:43lucian turned to look at me if you'd like to go i'll wait outside i hadn't behaved like a servant
22:49in front of him in a long time but there were others watching she didn't wait she stepped around
22:54me cheerfully and reached for lucian's chair i watched them move into the crowd and i felt something
22:59leave me that i hadn't known was mine to lose i stood in the cold for a very long time
23:03then i remembered
23:05today was my birthday she was the regent's only daughter every door in the wolf world was open to
23:10her when the regent and his mate arrived at the pack mansion to formally propose the match the matriarch
23:16looked more shaken than pleased through briar i learned the truth it wasn't love at first sight
23:21she'd fallen for lucian over a decade ago back when he was a young scholar with fire in his eyes
23:27and a
23:27future everyone could see she'd been carrying it ever since refusing every other offer lucian's potential
23:33mating became the pack's entire focus even the news that kaylin's quartermate had conceived was
23:39forgotten if the match succeeded the matriarch would have been overjoyed but lucian was already
23:44bound by the spirit bond to take a living mate the bond had to be dissolved and so i knew
23:49exactly what
23:50i had to do just as i'd once knelt before the matriarch and volunteered i came before her again
23:57i'm willing to step aside i want lucian to have this i'd had the shaman check their spirit signatures
24:04as well they aligned perfectly she was born to rank polished in every art and her love for lucian had
24:11outlasted years of silence if he died she would grieve him faithfully there was nothing more i could
24:17offer that she couldn't match so what do you want in return money is it still about status the matriarch
24:25squeezed my hands and asked what i wanted in return i pressed the gold i'd saved over two years into
24:30her
24:31palm i asked to be released from the pax bond records i want to be a free wolf child you
24:40could ask me for
24:41so much i held the bow and didn't move tears fell one by one onto the stone take me with
24:48you okay
24:50outside the pack passion life was uncertain and hard inside with the matriarch's protection you would
24:56be safe stay serve well don't make enemies the rest would come briar wept and pressed gold into my hands
25:07anyway on the morning i left many of the other handmaids came to see me off the shaman also walked
25:12towards me in the crowd may your ancestors guide your path
25:19patted my shoulder and then walked towards the crowd
25:24i turned around and walked towards the door but in the crowd i saw karen also there
25:30kaylin grabbed me to the corner he caged me against the wall and looked at me like he wanted to
25:34devour me
25:36say the word and i'll take you as a formal mate
25:41serve me like you used to and i'll give you rank above the others i stared at him for a
25:47long time
25:53don't look at me like that what you think lucian's gonna come running after you you're deluding yourself
26:02he's probably not even thinking of you once his body improved he didn't need you anymore you were
26:07useful and now you're spare and don't expect him to remember you in a year he didn't even come to
26:12see you off that tells you exactly where you rank to him something in my chest seized the truth was
26:19lucian and i had been in a cold war for weeks it had started on the way home from the
26:23festival if i
26:24was happy
26:28yes the warmth vanished from lucian's face happy about the fireworks no watching you walk with her
26:35you look like you belong together my wish is starting to work that made me happy you see me
26:39with another female and that's what makes you happy she's extraordinary she might become the
26:43pax future first luna of course i'm happy selena i didn't know you could be so heartless my parents
26:50had died years ago in the household where i was born into service i had no home to return to
26:54i'd planned to head south find a city where no one knew my name but the second kaylin's and vivian's
27:01faces floated up behind my eyes i was on my feet booking passage on the first river ferry south
27:06before i'd finished the thought property deeds golds a house a plot of land somewhere in the south
27:16i tried to remember when the shaman had touched my bag he'd had his hands on it during the send
27:21-off
27:21but where had he gotten the ferry listed suddenly i nearly went over the rail
27:28i scrambled upright and found boots surrounding me on three sides then i was bound carried ashore and
27:34pushed into a carriage when the blindfold came down
27:44vivian smiling i couldn't stop the bitter laugh from escaping briar had been right for all the years
27:50i'd served her and this was still where we ended up they brought out women with strong hands to deal
27:56with me the blows were professional and thorough she'd grown thinner since i last saw her the delicate
28:01elegance that had once made her untouchable now just made her look breakable what it didn't do was
28:07protect her inside the pack i used your body as a convenience and you had the nerve to find your
28:13own
28:14way out ungrateful traitorous have you forgotten what you swore loyal service always loyal service she
28:24wasn't wrong but loyalty is a two-way bond and she had never honored her half waited for the anger
28:30to
28:30burn out so i could leave i overestimated her capacity for mercy the first day only the hitting
28:37look at me the second day she used silver tipped needles on my hand
28:43the third day she locked me in the holding den beneath the estate i found my parents remains there for
28:49a
28:49moment just one i genuinely wanted to stop fighting the young guard outside pulled me up before i could
28:54follow the thought all the way delina come back please you saved me do i know you years ago a
29:02bracelet
29:02went missing in the ladies rooms they were going to use me as the culprit you figured out who really
29:07took it and you bought me enough time to prove it i kept all my fingers because of you you're
29:12one of the
29:12kindest people i've ever known why is she doing this to you because i wasn't loyal enough what's
29:20happening at the pack mansion the alpha haired is he truly going to bond with the regent's daughter
29:26the matriarch is frantic the whole bonding is off the regent's family pulled their daughter out the
29:31night his wolf spirit nearly went dark completely she agreed to cancel it she's never been this close to
29:37real death before they say she ran celine please stop thinking about them think about yourself you
29:43have to survive long enough to be rescued will you let me help you please help me bury my parents
29:48is
29:48there anything else i can do for you after that i need you to find a small wooden box you
29:53buried my
29:54parents i'll carry that gratitude into whatever comes next on the fifth evening vivian returned she
30:01examined her nails as if nothing else mattered i could barely hold my head up you're still alive
30:07heaven must want you to suffer longer begging me to stop don't bother i wasn't begging i was cursing
30:15her quietly steadily the rope around my neck tightened i let out a slow breath finally a clean ending it
30:22pulled taut tighter until the air was gone then it went slack a second cruelty another method noise poured
30:32in from every direction someone was calling my name someone was in the water selena selena
30:42i'm sorry i'm sorry please don't leave me
30:47i was lifted carried fast too fast and then i hit a cold chest and stayed there whoever held me
30:54dropped to their knees their arms locked around me like i might disappear
31:02lucian where are you i am here i am here i thought i had lost you selene i'm so sorry
31:11i should have found you sooner lucian brought me back to the lakeside cabin the shaman had prepared
31:19a medicinal bath something old something meant for deep wounds lucian washed me himself every new
31:25injury he found made the skin around his eyes darken deeper redder in the blur between waking and sleep
31:32i felt like i was drifting held up by careful hands and warm water rocking gently the last thing i
31:40remembered was a soft bed rising up to catch me and my arms closing around it i slept for a
31:48very long time
31:56where's lucian he kept watch over you for days i added something to his tea he's out is he having
32:03an
32:03episode his wolf spirit he's been destroying himself since you left his wolf didn't want to be steady
32:08i couldn't do much you were the only person keeping him anchored that was never me don't cry he's alive
32:15and he won't die before 30 i made sure of that much what happens at 30 does the bond snap
32:22he was always
32:23going to die early you know this if he weren't fated for early death you two would never have found
32:28each
32:28other i sat very still something inside me was splitting apart lucian woke to find me staring into
32:36nothing what's wrong his voice came out rough with sleep i wiped my face said nothing my fingers
32:43rested against his throat feeling his pulse i'm going to kiss you say yes or no you were a lot
32:52less
32:52polite the first time his mouth was cold and his breath against mine was like a thread of warmth in
33:03a
33:03blizzard brief and so easy to lose lucian i love you
33:20i never expected to fall in love with someone within such short life
33:27neither did i then the shaman came back he returned three nights later moving with purpose and sat across
33:34from us i've been doing a great deal of thinking that's usually ominous the curse on you the life
33:42debt your father made with the witch clan it was sealed with sacrifice specifically the sacrifice of
33:47a wolf spirit sacrifice can be answered with sacrifice or with something equal and opposite a bond freely
33:55chosen a mating bond a true one not a spirit bond with a corpse a living breathing voluntary mating bond
34:03freely given both sides willing under the full moon if the bond takes hold the original sacrifice is
34:11fulfilled differently life for life but instead of taking it gives the curse breaks has this worked
34:20before i believe it will yes the next few days passed in controlled chaos the matriarch convened a pack
34:31circle vivian's crimes had not gone unnoticed the poisoning of caylyn's quarter mate and the unborn
34:36pup had been confirmed by pack law that was grounds for exile vivian was removed quietly finally the
34:44regent's daughter came to the cabin one more time he told me at the festival you know the night we
34:49went to
34:49dinner what to say he talked about you for three hours straight without realizing it i'm sorry i was
34:55slow to understand her expression unreadable i didn't know what to say she stepped forward and
35:01squeezed my hand once don't let him die then she was gone
35:10caylyn came to the cabin the night before the ritual he stood in the doorway and for the first
35:14time in the years i've known him he looked genuinely lost my brother he's going to be all right the
35:23shaman believes so i never saw you do you know for three years i've actually never given you a proper
35:33look for whatever it's worth i'm sorry i thought about everything i could say what i said was
35:42take care of yourself caylyn he nodded turned walked away it wasn't forgiveness not yet
35:51but it was a beginning the full moon rose over the lake like a white flame the shaman built the
35:58circle at the water's edge silver dust wolf herbs old fire lucian stood at the center he refused the
36:05chair tonight he was standing on his own in the moonlight and the sight of him pale
36:10and slight and stubbornly impossibly upright hit me somewhere i didn't have words for the shaman's
36:16voice rose over the water speaking old words in the witch clan's tongue the language of the curse
36:22that had been turned tonight into something else he looked at me with those moth wing lashes and
36:27that expression that always meant he'd run out of arguments and was trying not to show how much he felt
36:32celine you don't have to i know
36:38i might still i know that too then what are you doing
36:45choosing the shaman's voice peaked the circle ignited not fire exactly something older silver
36:52blue rising from the water's surface i felt the pull of it in my chest not pain not fear something
36:59more like recognition lucian's hand tightened on mine and i felt the moment it happened a snap deep
37:06in the core of me like a lock giving way like something that had been held closed for 30 years
37:12finally opening lucian made a sound i'd never heard from him before not pain the opposite of pain
37:18he dropped to his knees in the silver circle and his wolf his wolf spirit which i had never seen
37:24which he had never been able to fully call tore out of him with a howl that shook the lake
37:30white
37:30enormous blazing like a comet above the water he threw his head back and howled again the sound broke
37:37over the forest over the pack mansion over every territory for miles and from far away from every
37:44direction at once howls began to answer the shaman wept i didn't realize it until i saw his shoulders
37:51shaking lucian's wolf settled around him like a second skin the color returned to his face not the
37:57brief flush of fever but real warmth steady and permanent he touched his own hands like he was
38:03checking they were real then he looked at me and his eyes those beautiful exhausted fighting to stay open
38:10eyes were the clearest i'd ever seen them selena just my name the way he said it cracked something open
38:19in
38:19me i pressed my face against his chest and stayed there for a long long time his heartbeat was strong
38:26steady warm not borrowed time just him the matriarch came to the lake the next morning she took one look
38:36at lucian standing in the early light no chair no shawl real color in his face and she sat down
38:42on the
38:42nearest bench and didn't move for several minutes how thanks to selena who sacrificed herself willingly
38:50she was a good girl the shaman explained what had happened then she reached out and drew me to sit
38:57beside her as she'd done before what do you want i once hoped my sister would be safe and that
39:03i could be
39:03free but now all i want is for lucian to return as leader safe and happy it happened at the
39:12next full
39:12moon briar stood beside me it's already more than enough you have a thread right there hold briar what
39:26thank you lucian was waiting at the lake's edge he'd learned to stand like he meant it may your life
39:37together be filled with love laughter and happiness may your home always be warm and your hearts always
39:45full i had survived every single thing and i was here free loved his mate and mine
39:58selena i'm not going to die
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