- 9 hours ago
A Perfect Life
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:14I am a haunted house, and she is the ghost in the attic, turning on lights, stomping
00:00:23on the floor, and making herself known in every reflection I see.
00:00:29She's there, she's always there, to remind me of how lonely the world can be.
00:00:36To remind me that we are all fragile.
00:00:40I am there, with her, up those stairs, sitting in the dark, planning our future together.
00:00:47A future we will never have, a future I will never deserve.
00:00:56I am an exorcist, purging her with pigment.
00:01:17If there was one thing you could change about your life, what would it be?
00:01:22One thing?
00:01:24One thing's all I get?
00:01:27One thing's all I get, I don't want to play this game.
00:01:35I want to be President of the United States.
00:01:38That's right.
00:01:39That way I can declare a state anarchy.
00:01:44I want to be a movie star, a big fucking movie star, live in a big fucking house, make
00:01:53big fucking movies.
00:01:58I want to be the love child of Sid Vicious and Molly Ringwald.
00:02:07I want to sit up all night in an all night diner and order nothing.
00:02:13I want to be God, for the sole purpose of saying, I brought you into this world, don't
00:02:17think for one minute I will take you out.
00:02:24I want the original promise, I want justice for all.
00:02:31I want love, hate, ups and downs, and everything in between, for nothing in return.
00:02:44I want the world in my palm, no cooler than sixty degrees, no warmer than seventy five, and
00:02:55never a cloud in the sky.
00:02:56I want that.
00:02:58I want the perfect kiss, the perfect imperfection, the perfect life.
00:03:09But more than anything, I want someone who wants what I want.
00:03:16And I want her to walk through that door right over there, and order biscuits and gravy.
00:03:28Hi.
00:03:30Hi.
00:03:30Hi.
00:03:31I bet your kids are adorable.
00:03:37Oh, it's okay, I already know what I want.
00:03:39Okay.
00:03:39I'll have the biscuits and gravy, please.
00:03:42Same.
00:03:43Okay, two biscuits and gravy, anything to drink?
00:03:46Coffee's fine.
00:03:46Alright.
00:03:47Thanks.
00:03:49I'm Brian.
00:03:50Bella.
00:03:52Nice to meet you, Bella.
00:03:54She blew into my life like a storm, uprooting everything I knew to be true, and filling it
00:04:00with so much more.
00:04:02She became everything I never knew I wanted, in a single glance, in a moment, in a straight
00:04:10conversation.
00:04:12And that slight smile that started with the curling of her toes, and ended at the corner
00:04:16of her lips.
00:04:18Just before she burst into laughter, she became it.
00:04:24She became perfection.
00:04:31Cool.
00:04:33So.
00:04:34So.
00:04:35Morrissey or The Cure?
00:04:37Uh, The Cure.
00:04:38Yeah.
00:04:39Beatles or Stones?
00:04:40The Stones.
00:04:41King of Pop or King of Rock?
00:04:43King of Rock.
00:04:45Definitely.
00:04:46Well, Elvis is always fascinated.
00:04:48How so?
00:04:50Well, here's this normal guy that accidentally got famous.
00:04:53I mean, he wrote a song that was for his dad, or his uncle, or something like that, for
00:04:58their birthday.
00:04:59And the next thing you know, he's a teen idol.
00:05:01I just, watching his life is like watching a tree grow.
00:05:06And it gets bigger and bigger, and then he ends up swollen and yellow.
00:05:14I don't know, it's like he was on a satellite somewhere in outer space, and watching himself.
00:05:20And that's what it did to him.
00:05:22Are you saying that Elvis is an alien?
00:05:26Hello, darling.
00:05:27This is Elvis from the planet Graceland, and I just want to thank you for coming out on
00:05:31a date with me this evening.
00:05:34You know what I like about you?
00:05:36What's that?
00:05:37You're full of shits.
00:05:39I think I just got a little on my shirt.
00:05:42Oh, I apologize.
00:05:44Sorry about that.
00:05:44You better be.
00:05:48To Elvis.
00:05:49To Elvis.
00:05:51Elvis.
00:05:53Yellow and swollen.
00:05:55How could I have known even then, in a moment of such happiness, the longitude and latitude
00:06:02of my fall from Graceland?
00:06:06Hours went by.
00:06:08Day turns to night, night to day.
00:06:11Small talk turns to talk of dreams and aspirations.
00:06:16First date eyes become the eyes that you take for granted.
00:06:22I hang on every word, she says.
00:06:26And those hours that became days become weeks.
00:06:29And we were married on a Saturday.
00:06:33And those weeks became months.
00:06:35And coal, our first daughter was born, sweet as sugar.
00:06:41And those months became a year.
00:06:43And that year became four years.
00:06:45And Sarah, our second daughter was born.
00:06:49Born sick.
00:06:50And that sickness drove Bella into darkness.
00:06:53And she began to wither and die.
00:06:58And me.
00:07:01I became Elvis.
00:07:03Yellow and swollen.
00:07:04Watching my life unfold from a satellite somewhere in space.
00:07:11Counting the rings of my tree.
00:07:14And forever wondering how this perfect life came to be.
00:07:42I'll be right there, honey.
00:07:49I'll be right there, honey.
00:08:16I can't wait.
00:08:18I won't pour the Rogan or look.
00:08:18He's got cénees.
00:08:19Now he's chose so much work.
00:08:25yay well I think you got dog poo in your hair yeah yuck where did you get the dog poo
00:08:33in your
00:08:33hair oh here we think we need to wash it out all right here we go your turnover
00:08:46lean lean back lean back there we go there we go you know you want to lean back but the
00:08:51other way
00:08:52because if you lean back then I won't get dressed hold your hands there we go oh that feels good
00:08:59right there we go there it is standing on the shoulders of children innocent eyes that gaze
00:09:14upon the world with wondrous excitement you will probably never know me you will probably not
00:09:22remember me but someday when you're older your mother will show you a photograph and tell you
00:09:29my story a story filled with self-abandoned regret regret that I will not be there for your report
00:09:37cards for proms for graduations to give you both away at your weddings I always wanted to be the one
00:09:49to teach you to drive to navigate life with that same beautiful innocence that fills your youthful
00:09:55spirit today to hope to strive to dream but you're only three feet tall and already bigger than me
00:10:26good morning time to get up my water broke Brian huh Brian I just thought I was having a wet
00:10:35dream
00:10:35oh honey come on get up hello hello I can't reach you but come on get up get out of
00:10:44bed feel this thing
00:10:46it's coming out it's coming out please okay all right I'm just trying to keep you from panicking
00:10:52all right yeah take your time well I'm trying look I can't go to the hospital naked why not
00:10:59that would be awkward okay all right speaking which hospital we're going to you don't know which hospital
00:11:05we're going to yes I know which hospital which hospital are we going to I don't know let's go I
00:11:12got
00:11:14it okay okay okay calm down okay do you want all out of it okay watch the hose something with
00:11:27more water
00:11:28than you oh come on Reese's you stay right there and okay thank you oh why is this getting it
00:11:41okay you guys we're gonna have to detail the car after this okay okay you ready oh baby I'm ready
00:11:52um are you ready you seem a little frazzled yes I'm frazzled yes just breathe
00:11:59okay maybe um Cole should drive
00:12:05Cole
00:12:11oh
00:12:12oh
00:12:14oh
00:12:14oh
00:12:42I'm going to go for a watch.
00:13:11I'm going to go for a watch.
00:13:12Hello?
00:13:13Are you busy?
00:13:15Ryan, are you okay?
00:13:17I just needed to talk to someone.
00:13:20I'll wait up.
00:13:29Time.
00:13:31It moves so slowly when you have nothing to do but think.
00:13:36To remember the beginning.
00:13:39To dwell on the end.
00:13:41And to be haunted by everything in between.
00:13:44To be haunted by that word.
00:13:48That undefinable word.
00:13:51As undefinable as God.
00:13:53Yet a word I thought I knew intimately.
00:13:58Perfection.
00:13:59The perfect wife.
00:14:01The perfect children.
00:14:03The house.
00:14:04The dog.
00:14:05The job.
00:14:05The two-car garage.
00:14:07The diapers.
00:14:07The joint bank account.
00:14:10Piano recitals.
00:14:12Tap shoes.
00:14:14The American dream.
00:14:16An idea that became an ideal.
00:14:20It's Friday.
00:14:22Today.
00:14:23Is it recycling or yard waste today?
00:14:26Do good.
00:14:28Tailored .
00:14:47Is it a snake body inside?
00:15:14Have you ever stood naked, alone?
00:15:18And out of reach.
00:15:33The way Sarah cries, I can't help her.
00:15:39And the way Bella cries, she doesn't want me to help her.
00:15:43I just want...
00:15:45Well I don't.
00:15:52Once upon a time maybe, but not anymore.
00:15:56You want too much.
00:15:59No I don't, I just want...
00:16:02Your list is too long and I'm too tired.
00:16:07I only want it to be perfect.
00:16:10Well it's not.
00:16:11You never would have started fucking me.
00:16:22Do you have any idea what it's like to want something that you can't have?
00:16:30What do you want?
00:16:32I want you.
00:16:34And you want her.
00:16:37But you don't want her.
00:16:39You want the idea of her.
00:16:41And what you don't understand Brian, is that you've idealized your life away.
00:16:47But I want you.
00:16:50I don't know what you want.
00:16:52But you don't want me.
00:16:55I'm just another part of the ideal and I'm not perfect.
00:16:59But you're perfect to me.
00:17:04Don't want kids.
00:17:06I'm a cat person.
00:17:08I need time alone more than that.
00:17:10I need time with people.
00:17:13But I already know all of this.
00:17:15And I love you for you.
00:17:18How can you love me when she gives you everything?
00:17:21Everything.
00:17:23Everything I want.
00:17:24But nothing I need.
00:17:27This.
00:17:28Right here.
00:17:29Right now.
00:17:30This is what I need.
00:17:40I need her to hold me like she used to.
00:17:45To hold me so close like we're the same person.
00:17:49Like this.
00:17:51Like what we have.
00:18:02We have a dance.
00:18:03And a photograph.
00:18:12Kim was right.
00:18:14She had become the band-aid for a wound that would not heal.
00:18:18And no matter how much of her I stripped away.
00:18:21She would never fit into the mold Bella had created.
00:18:25I don't know if I'd be more alone with you.
00:18:29Without you.
00:18:46She was right about a lot of things.
00:18:49One day you wake up and you realize that everything you ever wanted turned out to be nothing you ever
00:18:55wanted at all.
00:18:57And even the big things become as trivial as watermelon.
00:19:24You smell like cigarettes.
00:19:28Watermelon.
00:19:30He sucks.
00:19:31Be in way.
00:19:33Mhm.
00:19:34There we go.
00:19:41Maybe we take four channels.
00:19:42There we go.
00:19:42He's gonna keep five feet open now.
00:19:42Envy.�endous.
00:19:43wickedness. I
00:19:59don't.
00:20:04Are you doing anything for lunch today?
00:20:07No. Did you want to do something?
00:20:10Well, I was thinking about stopping by.
00:20:13I'd like that.
00:20:32What time did you come in last night?
00:20:37What's that, honey?
00:20:38What time did you come in last night?
00:20:41I don't know. I didn't really look at the clock.
00:20:44I didn't even hear you come in.
00:20:46Really?
00:20:48Well, I gave you a kiss. Good night. You rolled over. I thought I woke you up.
00:20:55Nope.
00:20:58You know, one of these days I'm going to get a call from Canada.
00:21:02You're going to be missing a sock.
00:21:04You're going to have a new tattoo of a heart and some sailor's name on your ass.
00:21:08And you're going to say,
00:21:10I don't know where I was, but I woke up in a car that wasn't mine
00:21:14with some large man in a unitard offering me a sip of bourbon.
00:21:21Here's our other sock, sailor.
00:21:35You're so sexy when you have your drafty face on.
00:21:38Hey, beautiful.
00:21:38Hi.
00:21:40Want to go get some lunch or something?
00:21:42Yeah, I was thinking we could go down to the waterfront.
00:21:45But first I need to use the restroom.
00:21:47Yeah, just at the end of the hall to the left.
00:21:50Well, aren't you forgetting something?
00:21:51What would that be?
00:21:53Do I have to ask?
00:22:04Hi.
00:22:05Hi.
00:22:07You look good.
00:22:09Oh, thanks.
00:22:09How are you?
00:22:10I'm good.
00:22:11I just stopped by for lunch.
00:22:12I think we're going to go to the waterfront.
00:22:14Did you want to come?
00:22:15I can't.
00:22:16Thanks, though.
00:22:17I've already got plans.
00:22:18Well, that's too bad.
00:22:19We don't hang out enough.
00:22:20I know.
00:22:20We should see each other more often.
00:22:23Oh, that's pretty.
00:22:24What is it?
00:22:25Thanks.
00:22:26I think it's called posh, but it tastes like watermelon.
00:22:30Oh, watermelon.
00:22:32I like it.
00:22:34Watermelon.
00:22:34So how have you been?
00:22:36Good.
00:22:37You know, kids and stuff.
00:22:40Yeah, we've got some clients like that.
00:22:43Well, it's good to see you.
00:22:46I've got to get back to work.
00:22:48Yeah, good to see you, too.
00:22:51Watermelon.
00:22:52Watermelon.
00:22:54Oh.
00:22:56Watermelon.
00:22:57Hmm.
00:22:57Hmm.
00:23:17You haven't touched your food.
00:23:29And I'm not as hungry as I thought it was.
00:23:40I think she got lipstick.
00:23:42Uh-huh.
00:23:43Yes, she does.
00:23:44Uh-huh.
00:23:44Look, she does.
00:23:46She doesn't have lipstick on.
00:23:48Oh, she does?
00:23:49Doesn't she?
00:23:50That's pink.
00:23:51Yeah.
00:23:53Mm-hmm.
00:23:54Mm-hmm.
00:23:57Bella?
00:23:58Bella?
00:23:59Are you okay?
00:24:00Yeah.
00:24:01Bella?
00:24:03If you want to talk, Mom, I'm fine.
00:24:05I'm fine.
00:24:06I'm fine.
00:24:07It's okay.
00:24:08I just...
00:24:08Right out here if you need anything.
00:24:10I'm fine.
00:24:39Shut up.
00:24:40God.
00:24:46It's gonna be okay.
00:24:48It's gonna be okay.
00:24:50Everything's gonna be okay.
00:25:06Hey, little angels. How are you doing? What you doing? Putting on a show? Hi. Do you
00:25:16want me cooking? Something smells good. Cooking, baby. Something smells good. How was work? Well, my new client's a trouble
00:25:36prick, though. That was good. It's nice to see you there for lunch. You should do that morning. Yeah. I'll
00:25:43let you go.
00:25:43Come on.
00:25:46Come on.
00:25:48Come on.
00:25:50Come on.
00:26:05Come on.
00:26:08Come on.
00:26:23Come on.
00:26:38Come on.
00:26:39Come on.
00:26:40Come on.
00:26:53Come on.
00:26:56Come on.
00:26:58Come on.
00:27:03Come on.
00:27:04Come on.
00:27:08Come on.
00:27:09Come on.
00:27:10Oh my god.
00:27:11Phillip.
00:27:11Phillip.
00:27:12Phillip.
00:27:13What the fuck?
00:27:15Oh my god!
00:27:27Phillip.
00:27:28Oh my god. Oh my wife just cut her wrist. I need an ambulance at 6124 Street.
00:27:37Sir, I need you to calm down. Can you do that for me?
00:27:40Yeah.
00:27:42The ambulance is on its way. I need you to know, sir, is she still breathing?
00:27:48Yeah.
00:27:51I need you to stop the bleeding. What did you need, sir?
00:27:54Oh my god. Brian?
00:27:55Brian, I need you to apply pressure above the laceration and lift her arms above the level of her heart.
00:28:02Can you do that for me?
00:28:03Yeah, but do I have to put the phone down?
00:28:05That's okay, Brian. Put the phone down. Just don't hang up. Just hang up.
00:28:10Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.
00:28:27Oh my god. Oh my god.
00:28:34Oh my god.
00:29:13Thank you for calling Jennings Architecture.
00:29:17It is currently after hours, but if you have an emergency, you may contact your representative at 555-4868.
00:29:26Or stay on the line and leave a message.
00:29:32Hey John, this is Brian.
00:29:36I'm having a family emergency, so I'm just calling to let you know that I won't be into work for
00:29:42a couple days,
00:29:42so I'll probably see you next Monday. Bye.
00:30:17Bella died for 48 seconds.
00:30:20I have been dying ever since.
00:30:24As her heart slowed and stopped, I realized at that very moment something I should have always known.
00:30:32She loved me more than she loved herself.
00:30:44recommitment.
00:30:44Lets start laughing.
00:30:46Welcome to the episode.
00:30:46I am recording!
00:30:47A public manager.
00:30:47In a trial.
00:30:51We are now following the episode lots
00:31:01I don't know.
00:31:33I remember when I met your mother she was beautiful it's not that she's not
00:31:42beautiful she's gorgeous it's just I'm used to know why stupid it's not
00:32:00commitment that I have a problem with it's contentment
00:32:09it's like no matter how good I have it it's never good enough
00:32:15it's no one's fault
00:32:24I'm just fucked up
00:32:51yeah this is Brian Sanders I'm calling to see how my wife's doing
00:32:55what is her name please Bella Sanders
00:33:13your wife is in stable condition she should be released sometime this evening or tomorrow morning
00:33:21okay thank you
00:33:49she's sleeping Brian okay thank you
00:34:14she doesn't want to talk yet Brian I just want to make sure she's okay
00:34:19I think it's going to be a long time before she's okay
00:34:21she's okay
00:34:22she's okay
00:34:22she's okay
00:34:22she's okay
00:34:23she's okay
00:34:24she's okay
00:34:26she's okay
00:34:26she's okay
00:34:27she's okay
00:34:28she's okay
00:34:29she's okay
00:34:30she's okay
00:34:30she's okay
00:34:38she's okay
00:34:39she's okay
00:34:39she's okay
00:34:41she's okay
00:34:42she's okay
00:34:42she's okay
00:34:43she's okay
00:34:44she's okay
00:34:49Hello?
00:34:51Hi Gary, is Bella there?
00:34:53I will call you when she's ready.
00:35:27Brian, she's just not ready yet.
00:35:30Can I please see the girls?
00:35:32Hold on.
00:35:38What time do you get off tomorrow?
00:35:41Whenever you want.
00:35:43Meet me at Owens Beach around 1.
00:35:48Thank you so much.
00:35:50I'll see you tomorrow.
00:35:54You want to see a call tomorrow?
00:35:57Alright.
00:36:09Hi.
00:36:12Oh.
00:36:14There you go.
00:36:15Hey.
00:36:17Did I have to come play?
00:36:20There you go.
00:36:21Come on.
00:36:23There you go.
00:36:24There's Daddy.
00:36:25There she is.
00:36:25Hi.
00:36:26Oh, look who's here to see you.
00:36:28Yes.
00:36:28Oh, I know.
00:36:30Here, come on.
00:36:31Here, he's excited.
00:36:33Okay.
00:36:35Get this up.
00:36:36I feel like a magician.
00:36:39Okay, you ready?
00:36:40I'll trade you.
00:36:41Okay.
00:36:43There she is.
00:36:45Oh, gorgeous.
00:36:47Come on.
00:36:48Come on.
00:36:49Hey.
00:36:52Hold on here.
00:36:56Good to see you guys.
00:36:59Yeah.
00:37:01So.
00:37:03How have you been?
00:37:04Huh?
00:37:05Oh, she's been.
00:37:06How has she been?
00:37:08Oh.
00:37:10Oh, he's doing interesting things.
00:37:12Oh, yeah.
00:37:14Character.
00:37:15Come on.
00:37:16Yeah.
00:37:17There you go.
00:37:19Yeah.
00:37:38There she is.
00:37:40Come on.
00:37:41Let's get out and see the day.
00:37:43Huh?
00:37:43There you go.
00:37:45Hi.
00:37:47There you go.
00:37:48There you are, gorgeous.
00:37:49Hi.
00:38:01Thank you so much for bringing the family.
00:38:03It's just the right thing to do.
00:38:07So, how are you doing?
00:38:09Huh?
00:38:10I just wanna know if she's okay.
00:38:12She's really hurt, Brian, and I don't think she's gonna forgive you.
00:38:16Well, I can't even forgive myself.
00:38:19I know you love her, and she loves you.
00:38:21You've just made a mistake.
00:38:23She doesn't understand that you understand what you've done.
00:38:27She only knows she's hurting, and it's because of you.
00:38:34I...
00:38:34This is either gonna drive you farther apart or bring you closer together,
00:38:39but it's not your choice.
00:38:41It's her choice now.
00:38:43I know.
00:38:46You just have to give her time to decide.
00:38:49It's just hard not being able to see her or talk to her.
00:39:03Thanks for coming out today.
00:39:06It's the right thing to do.
00:39:29My mother has the gift of Catholic guilt, and my dad's gonna kick your ass if you've been calling.
00:39:33So, how are you doing?
00:39:37If I see a therapist three times a week, the state won't take the kids.
00:39:40How are you?
00:39:42Well, it's over.
00:39:43I told her we're done.
00:39:45It's too late for that.
00:39:47I know I messed up, and I can't go back.
00:39:52But I'm sorry.
00:39:54I'm so sorry.
00:39:56How could you do this to me?
00:39:59How?
00:40:00When I love you so much.
00:40:03I don't know.
00:40:05I love you so much, Brian.
00:40:11God.
00:40:15I love you.
00:40:24I want a divorce.
00:40:26Bella.
00:40:27I don't want to talk about it.
00:40:28I want a divorce.
00:40:30And I want the kids.
00:40:32And the house and the car.
00:40:36And you can keep the dog, okay?
00:40:39Take whatever you want.
00:40:43Could you be out by Friday?
00:40:45If we don't come home soon, Cole's gonna know something's wrong.
00:40:48Well, what are you gonna tell her when you come home and I'm not here?
00:40:52I'm gonna tell her the truth.
00:40:56Okay, she should know.
00:41:04I have to go.
00:41:07Take care of yourself, Brian.
00:41:09Yeah.
00:41:20Okay.
00:41:21I guess this is it for a while.
00:41:40Okay.
00:41:50Okay.
00:41:58All right.
00:41:59Bye.
00:42:00Bye.
00:42:02Bye.
00:42:13Hello.
00:42:14Hi. Where's Kim?
00:42:16Um, I've only been here for a week. I don't think I've met her yet.
00:42:19Okay, thanks.
00:42:21Oh, Mr. Jennings wanted to just stop by his office and cut it.
00:42:24All right, thank you.
00:42:30I've known you for a long time, and I've never seen you like this.
00:42:36I'm sorry, John. I'm just having problems at home.
00:42:39You've missed 43 days in the past three months.
00:42:44And when you do show up, you smell like alcohol.
00:42:49My wife and I are... I don't even know what we are.
00:42:53Which is why it hurts me to do this, but you're really not leaving me any choice.
00:42:59I understand.
00:43:02And I wish you the best. I really do.
00:43:06Thanks.
00:43:24What I didn't give away, I threw away.
00:43:27I threw it all away.
00:43:30As easily as one throws away the wrapping on a birthday present.
00:43:35I've always been too selfish to understand that it's the wrapping that makes it special.
00:43:41You're fired, he said, in so many words.
00:43:45You're fired from life.
00:43:47For you have failed everyone who has ever loved you.
00:43:51You have failed yourself.
00:43:53And no amount of sorry will make this better.
00:43:56No amount of forgiveness will make me worthy.
00:44:00I deserve the hurt I have caused.
00:44:03And in the end, the last thing I want is to feel better.
00:44:37Security.
00:44:42Security.
00:44:43Security.
00:44:48Excuse me, sir.
00:44:51We've had a few noise complaints, and you top it off.
00:44:54Your credit card. So we need to get your stuff out right now. Do you have a jacket you want
00:45:01to bring?
00:45:03That's your jacket
00:45:08Yeah, what you put that on all right, but we got to grab your stuff
00:45:52Just
00:46:01you
00:46:03me
00:46:05me
00:46:07me
00:46:24First up.
00:46:26First up.
00:46:28First up.
00:46:51Oh, Hardie just moved to a new venue, that's all.
00:46:55Good work.
00:47:07You know what?
00:47:10I love you, Reese.
00:47:12You know what else?
00:47:15You're too good for this.
00:47:18You want to go home?
00:47:20Come on.
00:47:22Off like a herd of turtles.
00:47:25Come on.
00:47:34Can't believe I let you talk me into this.
00:47:37Fuck.
00:47:41Well, I know you've heard this story a million times, but if I don't keep talking, I can't
00:47:51keep walking.
00:47:54So, a million and one.
00:47:56What do you have to say about that, huh?
00:48:00Huh?
00:48:03That's what I thought.
00:48:08Anyway, we drove all day to get to where you were born.
00:48:12Have you ever seen your mother drive?
00:48:14Huh?
00:48:16She's beautiful.
00:48:17She's so serious.
00:48:22I always felt like I was on a mission to make her laugh.
00:48:28I like that feeling of trying to impress somebody.
00:48:32She made me feel that way all the time.
00:48:35Huh.
00:48:37And when she smiled, I swear there was heaven on her lips.
00:48:44But don't get any ideas.
00:48:47You're too young to start dating there, mister.
00:48:50You're too young for that.
00:48:55Anyway, we get to the farm way out in the boonies.
00:49:02And I swear the place was odd.
00:49:05It was like a circus.
00:49:08There was kids on unicycles.
00:49:13Goats with eight horns.
00:49:16I think there was even a cat with wings.
00:49:20Woo-hoo-hoo!
00:49:23I bet you like to play with that.
00:49:25Chase that around the yard all day, huh?
00:49:32And your mother, she had the best sense of style.
00:49:37So she wore dresses from the 50s.
00:49:40And little things in her hair.
00:49:49She reminded me of Marilyn Monroe before...
00:49:53Well, she was Marilyn Monroe.
00:50:00I think it was the way the wind whipped up her dress.
00:50:06It didn't matter where we went or what we did.
00:50:13I couldn't take my eyes off her.
00:50:19She glowed even when she slept.
00:50:24Have you ever seen the Lion King?
00:50:27Yeah.
00:50:28I have about 75 times.
00:50:31I have kids.
00:50:34Remember?
00:50:36Remember?
00:50:37Remember when James Earl Jones is holding up Simba?
00:50:44Well...
00:50:47That's how it was when I met you.
00:50:51Only...
00:50:53You weren't Simba.
00:50:58You...
00:51:00You were like a peanut butter cup.
00:51:07A...
00:51:08A fat...
00:51:11Chunky...
00:51:12Little peanut butter cup.
00:51:17That's how you got your name.
00:51:44Let's just do this tomorrow, buddy.
00:51:46You'll be okay.
00:51:48One more.
00:51:49Mm-hm.
00:51:52There.
00:51:57Okay.
00:51:58Okay.
00:52:01Okay.
00:52:02One more.
00:52:02One more.
00:52:02One more.
00:52:02One more.
00:52:03One more.
00:52:06One more.
00:52:11One more.
00:53:42I missed you.
00:53:44Look at him.
00:53:45I missed you.
00:53:46I missed you.
00:53:49I missed you.
00:54:04I missed you.
00:54:05I missed you.
00:54:09I missed you.
00:54:16I missed you.
00:54:23I missed you.
00:54:43I missed you.
00:55:46Hey, fuck off.
00:55:47Hey.
00:55:49Hey, what's your problem?
00:55:52I don't have a problem.
00:55:54You walk through here every day.
00:55:55Where do you go?
00:55:56I don't know.
00:55:57I guess I'm not going anywhere.
00:55:59Quit being a pathetic fuck and say hi every once in a while, huh?
00:56:04Well, you're gonna sit down?
00:56:05It ain't fucking church.
00:56:06Hey, George.
00:56:09That piece of shit's Paul.
00:56:10I'm Terry.
00:56:11This is my friend Vodka.
00:56:13Who the fuck are you?
00:56:15Brian.
00:56:18Hey.
00:56:19Hey, waitress.
00:56:20Can I get a napkin for my friend here?
00:56:22Don't sleep at all.
00:56:23A child rotting, you stagnant cunt.
00:56:29I gotta go.
00:56:31Where the fuck are you gonna go?
00:56:33You got a job interview or something?
00:56:36Oh, gonna be a big shot dental assistant?
00:56:39Yeah, fuck you, you drunk.
00:57:35Oh, gonna be a big shot.
00:57:53The taste of used food subsides as the flickering streetlights create a rhythmic dance of muted
00:57:59shadows.
00:58:01I stuff my coat with newspapers I will never read.
00:58:05The first night was cold.
00:58:09So was the second.
00:58:11And every night that followed.
00:58:14Memories will never keep you warm at night.
00:58:18But they will keep you up.
00:58:21Even the good ones.
00:58:24Have you ever held someone so close that you forget which one you are?
00:58:29That you think it's your fingers moving, that it's there.
00:58:35That they finish your words.
00:58:49I think it's your lips that make my heart beat.
00:58:53I think it's your lips that make my heart beat.
00:59:07And then wipe his ass all over the ground and smear it in real good.
00:59:12What you need is an aspirin and a shower.
00:59:21Well, are you gonna sit down or what?
00:59:27What is your deal anyway?
00:59:29You ain't supposed to be here.
00:59:32Well, I used to have a wife, kids, a dog, and a house.
00:59:37Jesus Christ.
00:59:38You are a dental assistant.
00:59:41Well, I was an architect.
00:59:44An architect?
00:59:46If you were an architect, you'd know how many floors there were between you and the ground.
00:59:53Let me tell you something, you piece of shit.
00:59:56I used to be a dental hygienist.
01:00:01Being a dental hygienist is a lot like being a shrink.
01:00:04Only most of my clients were numb.
01:00:07Kind of like you.
01:00:09Talk to me about being numb.
01:00:12You ever smoke crack?
01:00:16Smoking crack is kind of like waking up Frankenstein's monster.
01:00:19There's a big jolt of electricity, and then he just stumbles around all sad and lonely.
01:00:25So the town folk, they all get together and, you know, get their pitchforks and, I don't know, they run
01:00:30him out of town or kill him or, fuck, I forget.
01:00:35Killed it.
01:00:37Killed it, thank you very much.
01:00:39Anyway, my point is this.
01:00:41You walk around here like fucking Frankenstein's monster.
01:00:45And I see.
01:00:46I can tell you ain't supposed to be here.
01:00:48You're a fucking accident.
01:00:50So, I look for my pitchfork.
01:00:53But then I realize I'm not a fucking farmer.
01:00:55What do I need a pitchfork for?
01:00:58But by the time I realize that, you're fucking gone.
01:01:04Just do yourself a favor.
01:01:06Go be an architect.
01:01:09Build yourself some big building that you don't want to jump off of.
01:01:13Or at least be a good drunk.
01:01:15You fucking piece of shit.
01:01:28Yeah.
01:01:29Go fuck yourself, Frankie the parkfly.
01:01:36Jesus, Paul, you're a fucking embarrassment.
01:01:39Jesus, "'Eriv Sad", João XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX,XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXAXXXXXXXXTXXXX.. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
01:02:24Do you mind if I sit and watch you paint?
01:02:27No, not at all.
01:02:31This has always reminded me of something from a different life.
01:02:35A couple of months ago, it was wrapped in plastic.
01:02:40Interesting how something so strong can also be so fragile.
01:02:45So are you in school?
01:02:46Third quarter freshman.
01:02:48Well, it's very beautiful.
01:02:52Do you paint?
01:02:54I always wanted to.
01:02:56I always told my wife I'd paint her, but I never did.
01:02:59You're married?
01:03:01No, I'm divorced.
01:03:03I'm sorry.
01:03:05It's okay, it's been a while now.
01:03:07How long?
01:03:10Going on three years.
01:03:11This is too bad.
01:03:15It's all right.
01:03:16Where are you from?
01:03:18Yeah.
01:03:19I must have tourists written all over me.
01:03:22Well, that depends if you ask me to take your picture in front of the space needle or not.
01:03:28I'm from Portland.
01:03:30Really?
01:03:30Yeah.
01:03:30I'm sailing.
01:03:31Right on.
01:03:35Well, I should probably let you get back to your work.
01:03:38That's okay.
01:03:39You don't have to.
01:03:41Thanks, but I need to start looking for some dinner.
01:03:45But good luck to you.
01:03:47You too.
01:03:47Well, let's go.
01:05:49Oh, you're one of the nicest people I've ever met.
01:05:53I hope you get everything you ever want from life.
01:05:57That you know what you have when you have it.
01:06:10Hey.
01:06:12Hey!
01:06:14Here goes Frankie the Architect.
01:06:17Fuck.
01:06:26Are you gonna come over and join me or what?
01:06:38What the fuck are you so happy about?
01:06:40Life goes on.
01:06:46It doesn't matter how much you push it, pull it, remember or forget.
01:06:51It's indifferent.
01:06:52It just goes on.
01:06:55And I think back to the little things, the things that matter most.
01:07:00The laughter.
01:07:02The wet laughter that hurts in the best way.
01:07:07Her lip-lock eyes across a crowded room.
01:07:12Philosophy over coffee.
01:07:16Explaining why the sky is blue to a child who thinks the world of you.
01:07:20So wide-eyed and full of possibilities, endless possibilities.
01:07:28When the world was made of magic.
01:07:32Of course unicorns are real.
01:07:36As real as princesses.
01:07:38As real as Bigfoot.
01:07:41As real as you and me.
01:07:44Once, when I was your age, I rode one.
01:07:48I rode one, but the horn is very sharp.
01:07:52That's how I got these scars on my chin, you know?
01:08:02Fly, fly, fly as I sink.
01:08:35Unlikely on my mind.
01:08:35You know?
01:08:40I rode two downstairs.
01:08:42With a Ace of Wildcats.
01:08:45I rode one in 12 minutes.
01:08:52As around all we have, I rode interest behind me.
01:08:53Not a couple stories.
01:08:53So I rode boom.
01:08:54This is where I rode his kids.
01:08:55The beautiful child has torn name.
01:09:09Take a walk with me
01:09:14And let's go find belief
01:09:18I want to see the stars again
01:09:22With the wonder that I had
01:09:25At the age of ten
01:09:29So now I'm alone
01:09:33Once again
01:09:34I'm on my own
01:09:38She lost the magic
01:09:40She had for me
01:09:44In her eyes
01:09:47We no longer
01:09:49Share the same skies
01:09:53No
01:09:54We don't
01:09:57Not at all
01:10:01Not at all
01:10:06So now I walk alone
01:10:12Once again
01:10:13I'm on my own
01:10:16She lost the magic
01:10:19She had for me
01:10:24Lost the magic
01:10:26I'm not complete
01:10:30In each one of us
01:10:33Peter Pan
01:10:35Elvis Presley
01:10:37Superman
01:10:41In each one of us
01:10:43Jacques Cousteau
01:10:45To marvel at the earth
01:10:48And the sea below
01:10:50To marvel at the earth
01:10:53And the sea below
01:11:01In each one of us
01:11:04Peter Pan
01:11:08Elvis Presley
01:11:09Superman
01:11:11Superman
01:11:13In each one of us
01:11:16Jacques Cousteau
01:11:18To marvel at the earth
01:11:21To marvel at the earth
01:11:22And the sea below
01:11:37Take a walk
01:11:39With me
01:11:43Do you remember the first day we met?
01:12:01I want to see the stars again
01:12:13Oh, the stars again
01:12:18With the wonder that I had
01:12:21At the age of ten
01:12:25Oh, oh, oh
01:12:31The age of ten
01:12:34I remember lying on your chest and talking for hours
01:12:39The age of ten
01:12:43And then we remembered we was lying on the bathroom floor
01:12:47And we had a shower again
01:13:02So I walk alone
01:13:09Once again
01:13:12I'm on my own
01:13:16She lost the magic
01:13:19She had for me
01:13:21Oh, winter arrives
01:13:30We no longer
01:13:32Share the sky
01:13:36Oh, no
01:13:41Oh, no
01:13:42Not at all
01:13:50Not at all
01:13:54Sometimes I can't help but wonder
01:13:58Maybe we forget each other every time you look away
01:14:05I see you
01:14:07You are beautiful
01:14:12In each one of us
01:14:15Peter Pan
01:14:19Elvis Presley
01:14:23Superman
01:14:26In each one of us
01:14:30Jacques Cousteau
01:14:33To marvel at the earth
01:14:36And the sea below
01:14:39Well, I
01:14:40I just need someone
01:14:44Who understands
01:14:47The little boy
01:14:51Inside the man
01:14:53Inside the man
01:14:55I just need someone
01:14:57Who understands
01:15:01Part of me lives
01:15:04In our dreamland
01:15:24I remember
01:15:25I remember
01:15:27She thought
01:15:30But I can't forget
01:15:33Once you asked me if I had ever stood naked in front of anyone
01:15:37Alone
01:15:38And out of reach
01:15:40I took off my clothes
01:15:41And backed away from you
01:15:44You simply asked me my middle name
01:15:46And told me to put my clothes back on
01:15:50I am standing naked and raw
01:15:52For you now, Bella
01:15:55Not to beg forgiveness
01:15:57But to beg that you find happiness
01:16:00The kind of happiness I could never give you
01:16:05And if you should see
01:16:06The unrecognizable me on the street
01:16:09Don't look down
01:16:12Don't look back
01:16:14And I will grant you the same respect
01:16:20Ain't you guys got a home to go to?
01:16:22Yeah
01:16:23I was thinking about maybe getting a wife
01:16:26Shitting out some kids
01:16:28Being an architect
01:16:30Will you marry me?
01:16:32Shut up, you fucking drunk
01:16:36Do you ever leave the bench?
01:16:40What, do they decorate you guys at Christmas time?
01:16:45Yes?
01:16:46No?
01:16:49Okay, well
01:16:50I'm gonna go get a cup of coffee
01:16:52If you wanna join me
01:16:59Come on, sweetheart
01:17:00Daddy wants some breakfast
01:17:04Loopy
01:17:20What, what, what, what, how you doing?
01:17:39So we'll see where that comes from.
01:18:14If there was one thing you could change about your life, what would it be?
01:18:20One thing is all I get?
01:18:23If one is all I get, I don't want to play this.
01:18:26Pussy.
01:18:29I want to be president of the United States.
01:18:31That's right.
01:18:32That way I can declare a state anarchy.
01:18:37I want to be a movie star.
01:18:39A big fucking movie star.
01:18:43Live in a big fucking house.
01:18:45Make big fucking movies.
01:18:50I want to be the love child to sit vicious in Molly Ringwald.
01:18:57I want to sit up all night in an all-night diner and order nothing.
01:19:05I want to be God for the sole purpose of saying, I brought you into this world.
01:19:09Don't think for one minute I won't take you out.
01:19:13I want the original promise.
01:19:16I want justice for all.
01:19:20I want love, hate, ups and downs and everything in between for nothing in return.
01:19:30I want the world in my palm, no cooler than 60 degrees, no warmer than 75, and never a cloud
01:19:40in the sky.
01:19:44I want the perfect kiss, the perfect imperfection, the perfect life.
01:19:54But more than anything, I want someone who wants what I want.
01:19:59And I want her to walk through that door right over there, and order biscuits and gravy.
01:20:07You're a pathetic fuck.
01:20:11Thanks.
01:20:13Not you, him.
01:20:16Jesus, that was beautiful.
01:20:31Jesus, that was beautiful.
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