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Sneakerheads - Se1 - Ep03 HD Watch [Full Movie] [Ranked]Full EP - Full
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00:07You
00:28Hey, Jesus Christ, man.
00:31Why'd you leave me the fuck alone?
00:32No, I won't, okay?
00:33I refuse to see you go out like this.
00:35I will get a restraining order if I have to.
00:37Not if you hear the news, I gotta tell you.
00:38You know what?
00:39I'm not doing this.
00:40Not at work.
00:40Wait, wait, wait.
00:41Okay, listen.
00:41I got a text message from Hot Dog Daddy, too.
00:43He said he's willing to give us a clue for the zeros
00:45in exchange for a pair of Oregon Fours.
00:47Where the fuck are you going to get some Oregon Fours from?
00:49I thought you'd never ask.
00:51Nori's got a guy.
00:52There's no way Nori's down with this bullshit.
00:56He's right.
00:57I've got a guy.
00:58What's up, Debbie Dev?
00:59Long time no see, man.
01:19All right.
01:20Wow.
01:21Devin, you're really back.
01:23Uh, yeah, man.
01:27Um, is there anything new?
01:33We got a Keurig in the kitchen.
01:35There's always been a Keurig in the kitchen.
01:40Nothing then, I guess.
01:48Okay, Jack.
01:49I'm going to go down.
01:51Okay.
01:52Have you got laid yet?
01:56Office party, like, about a year ago.
01:59Suzie.
02:15All these basic chickens on my nerves.
02:19I might grab the biscuit ankle smurf.
02:21All these blue nose call me Papa Smurf.
02:25Bless me for the turf.
02:27All praises to the 15th and the first.
02:31Sour thieves ain't gonna curse.
02:32Super high now beat me up to Captain Kirk.
02:36Shish, she the worst.
02:38She the worst.
02:39Shish, she the worst.
02:41She the worst.
02:42Shish, she the worst.
02:44She the worst.
02:44Um, hello, the lovely Bones, anyone?
02:47Yo, Three Kings?
02:48You really gonna make me say Three Kings?
02:50I'm sorry, are we acting like Transformers is not a thing?
02:52Ooh, Departed.
02:53Legendary movie.
02:54Mark Wahlberg has never acted a day in his life.
02:57Oh, come on, that's disrespectful.
02:58Are you kidding me?
02:59Mark Wahlberg just plays Mark Wahlberg.
03:01There's Boston Mark Wahlberg.
03:02There's Cop Mark Wahlberg.
03:04There's Unnecessarily Cranky Mark Wahlberg.
03:06They're all just Mark Wahlberg.
03:08The guy has an Oscar nomination.
03:11The key word is nomination.
03:12And why is he always out of breath?
03:15You just salty, because he took your wife out.
03:17That's what we're doing.
03:18Wait, Devin, Marky Mark was banging your wife?
03:20She was an extra on Rockstar.
03:23They had a brief conversation at Crafty.
03:26That's it.
03:26He probably doesn't even remember her.
03:28Y'all ran into him at Starbucks, and he remembered how she tastes her coffee.
03:31Like, he can't just guess cream and sugar and be right 80% of the time.
03:35Matter of fact, can someone explain to me why are we talking about him in the first place?
03:39Just follow my leader, right?
03:41And don't be a dick.
03:43He doesn't respond well to negativity.
03:45What?
03:46Why are you telling me to not be a dick?
03:48You be a dick sometimes.
03:49Yo, yo, yo.
03:51It's been a minute.
03:52Hey, what's going on?
03:53I am not a dick.
03:54You would be on the cover of Dickly Magazine.
03:56Tell Stevie I need a pair of those Wu-Tang dunks ASAP, okay?
04:00Okay, yeah.
04:00He can definitely get them, but the rush is going to cost.
04:02The only pair I know about is all the way in Shanghai.
04:04Just let me know, all right?
04:06And, uh, is that Wahlberg's house?
04:07Tell him I said what's up.
04:08Okay, talk to you soon.
04:11Mark!
04:11Stevie!
04:12Good to see you!
04:13Come on in, girl!
04:13You just called her Stevie?
04:14It's Mark Wahlberg, dude!
04:16You know, I'm, uh, still doing that 4 a.m. thing.
04:18Yo!
04:20How are you?
04:21All right.
04:21Great, how are you?
04:22Hey, listen, I, um, kind of wasn't expecting strangers today, but it's all good.
04:27Any friend of Stevie's, friend of mine?
04:28You Stevie kicks, ain't you?
04:30I knew it.
04:30No, you didn't.
04:32Okay, maybe I didn't.
04:33But I should have seen the clues.
04:35Oh, M.
04:36God, this is exactly how I dreamt it would be.
04:38You know, I play an actor on the big screen, but my true passion is collecting.
04:43Is that?
04:43Oh, yeah.
04:44Yeah, that's an original popcorn machine.
04:47Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey, circa 1928.
04:50Wait a minute, you look familiar.
04:52You from Boston?
04:54No.
04:54No, hold on.
04:55No, we have definitely met somewhere before.
04:58No.
04:59I'll figure it out.
04:59I always do.
05:01Oh, man, I'm running behind.
05:03My weekly game is in about 10 minutes.
05:05Hey, you guys are welcome to hang.
05:06You want to hang?
05:06For sure, hell yeah.
05:07Yeah, totally.
05:08I'm pretty sure I live here now, so that's awesome.
05:10Listen, I'm going to run upstairs and change.
05:12Feel free to fuel up.
05:13I got an omelet bar in the back corner, so hit that up.
05:16Eat up, guys.
05:18Hey, thank you so much, Mr. Mark Wahlberg.
05:21Mark Wahlberg just offered us omelets for free.
05:23So?
05:24They're just eggs.
05:25He could have offered us a sweet to go with our savory, like a crepe or waffle.
05:29Oh, and I almost forgot.
05:31There's a waffle bar, too.
05:32I can't just offer you a savory option.
05:34I mean, come on.
05:36It's because you're ungrateful.
05:38You're ungrateful.
05:40And I can't believe you ain't telling me you was Stevie Kicks.
05:42You think it's easy being a female in this game?
05:44No, but you ain't got to lie about it.
05:45What's up, papi?
05:47Is that cilantro I taste?
05:48A hundred percent.
05:49This is really incredible, though.
05:51I wonder how much he got in his checking account right now.
05:54Think he ever, like, forget the transfer from his savings,
05:56get hit with an overdraft or something like that?
05:58Well, he, uh, clearly hasn't managed the lot square footage properly.
06:04Does he even have a pool?
06:06Hey, you guys can jump in the pool if you want.
06:07It's heated to 98.6.
06:09Body tap, super comfy.
06:11Oh, and there's a swimsuit room underneath the sundae bar.
06:14Hit that up, too, if you want.
06:16Ridiculous.
06:17You're not supposed to eat ice cream before you get in the pool.
06:20Everybody knows that.
06:22You're pathetic.
06:24Oh, okay.
06:26Very mature, Bobby.
06:27You got salt water all over my omelet, but guess what?
06:30Joke's on you, because salt makes eggs taste better.
06:33Can we just get the shoes and go, please?
06:35Afraid it's not going to be that easy.
06:36They're currently his favorite pair.
06:38How the fuck are we going to get them in?
06:39Just follow my lead.
06:51You know those Oregon 4s, right?
06:54No disrespect, but you're not about to hoop in those, are you?
06:57Hoop?
06:58Hell no.
06:58No, I play tennis now.
07:00Wait, what?
07:01Yeah, a couple months ago, I played knees, and I had a match of my life.
07:03I haven't lost on them since.
07:06Oh.
07:06My boy Marshawn just hit me up.
07:08He can't make it.
07:09Now I'm down one.
07:10Hey, you up for it, Def?
07:11You know what?
07:12My day is loaded, so...
07:13How is that even possible?
07:14You just quit your job, remember?
07:15Go ahead and play.
07:16Play!
07:16Bobby said you could play.
07:18So play.
07:18Are you sure you want to run?
07:20I mean, you got a hell of a physique, man.
07:21Is that all natural?
07:22Because if it is, I can hook you up with some of my personal proteins.
07:26Fuck, I'm out.
07:30Hey, Devin!
07:32Devin!
07:33Yo, you can't leave.
07:34Hey, you can't leave.
07:34Why?
07:35Why?
07:36He will not give up those shoes as long as he's winning.
07:38Exactly.
07:39All right, so you kick his ass.
07:40You won't want them no more.
07:41You can get them back.
07:41You know what?
07:42That's a great idea, Bobby.
07:43You know what?
07:43You should really start marketing yourself as,
07:45Hi, my name is Bobby.
07:46I will fuck up your life in less than a week.
07:48He smashed your wife.
07:49He did not smash my wife.
07:51You know how horny people get at craft services?
07:53Hovering around the Nutri-Gram bars and the peanut butter-filled pretzels?
07:56You just got to think about everything we've been through, okay?
07:59We get the organ for us, we're fucking this much closer to getting to zeroes.
08:04All you got to do is play them in one game.
08:05That's it.
08:07Come on, man.
08:08Think about how far we've come.
08:10We're here.
08:10We're right here.
08:16Is that a yes?
08:17Yes.
08:17Yes!
08:23Mr. Stewie, I presume?
08:25Yes.
08:25Welcome to Mr. Wahlberg's wing of relaxation and leisure.
08:29Would you care for a personalized robe?
08:32Do I actually need to answer that?
08:35You are, sir.
08:37Oh, my God.
08:40There's so many stairs here.
08:42Mr. Wahlberg's motto is, you never reach your goals without a climb.
08:45So that's why he's always out of breath.
08:49It makes so much sense.
08:50Oh, my God.
08:51This is comfy.
08:55You're going to need those shoes, man.
08:57Yeah, I got you.
08:58You've got enough.
08:59Sure, we'll see.
09:01Hey, man, you're back.
09:03Listen, I want you to meet my family.
09:04This is my Boston brother, Paul.
09:06What up?
09:07My boy, Rap.
09:08Over here, Sal.
09:10It'll be a good day.
09:11Yeah, yeah, whatever, man.
09:12So what, y'all playing teams, doubles?
09:14What's up?
09:14Well, what's with the attitude?
09:16Huh?
09:16Tennis is supposed to be a gentleman's sport.
09:19Yo, you sure about this guy?
09:21Totally.
09:21It's all good.
09:22Hey, you want to run with me?
09:23I'm my squad.
09:23I'm with the other squad.
09:24Okay.
09:25I guess I'll just call lines then.
09:27Hey, what's with the deflated balls over there?
09:29You had Tom Brady at your last barbecue or what?
09:31What's the matter with you?
09:31Do you come to Wahlberg's house and you're disrespecting the goat?
09:34Oh, no, I ain't mean no disrespect.
09:35I'm just saying, like...
09:36It's fine.
09:39He's got a house up the street.
09:40Michael Jordan got a panther?
09:42Not the real Michael Jordan.
09:44The one with the B in his name.
09:48Studio when the movie came out
09:49and the damn thing gets out all the time.
09:54Ice cream do it.
09:55You like ice cream.
09:56No.
10:00No, man.
10:01He eats flesh.
10:02Are you guys ready to do this?
10:04Yeah.
10:05Inspired to be better, boys.
10:06Let's do all you and me.
10:10Do you know if I'm doing this right?
10:15Oh, there we go.
10:18That's got to be right.
10:22What the...
10:23That's me.
10:24That's you.
10:24That's you.
10:25You got it.
10:26Yep.
10:27Fuck.
10:28Fuck.
10:30My bad.
10:31My bad.
10:31Yeah, sure as shit wasn't my fucking bad.
10:33Let's go.
10:34Good effort, Deb.
10:35Don't even worry about that.
10:36Why are you lying to him?
10:37Good effort.
10:38You missed the whole fucking ball, man.
10:40Focus.
10:42I got it.
10:44You fuck.
10:45What the fuck was that?
10:46What do you mean, what the fuck?
10:47Listen, I went to fucking Boletari's tennis camp, all right?
10:49Don't tell me what the fuck was that.
10:51Yo, chill, Mike.
10:52Dev is definitely good people.
10:54I don't care if he's good people.
10:55I need good players.
10:58You fuck.
11:02Eat this shit, rap.
11:04Fucking Serena.
11:05No, bitch.
11:06Yeah, yeah, I got this.
11:09Fuck.
11:10Hey, digging your intensity, bro.
11:13We should hit my bar and get a drink after this.
11:15No, no.
11:16I only drink on the weekends.
11:17You know, I can tell.
11:19Your skin is glistening in a way that is definitely not a drinking man's glow.
11:24But I do have an 80-year-old scotch you'd be a fool to say no to.
11:28No.
11:29You know what's crazy?
11:32I've actually never had a massage before.
11:35It's my first time.
11:37What's going on?
11:38You want to explain why you're getting your ass kicked right now?
11:40He's always in the right spot.
11:41He's so fucking nice.
11:43It's hard for me to get out.
11:43Egyptian blend cotton straight from my knitting room.
11:46Softest towel known to man.
11:49You see?
11:49What's up, baby?
11:50How you doing?
11:50How the fuck am I supposed to respond to that?
11:52Wait a minute.
11:54Oh, no.
11:55I got it.
11:56Did you used to date a girl named Christine?
11:58Uh-uh.
12:00I still do.
12:02We don't date anymore.
12:03That's my wife.
12:04I knew it.
12:05Man, I ran into her a couple of years ago at Starbucks.
12:08Oh, you actually remember that, huh?
12:10Cream 2 sugars.
12:11Now, Christine was my favorite extra.
12:13She used to help me run lines in my trailer.
12:15I mean, extras holding is so bad.
12:17I'm like, you know, you can chill with me,
12:19even though we're kind of not supposed to do that.
12:21But anyway, you ready to finish this?
12:22Oh!
12:25I bet your fucking ass I'm ready.
12:27Let's go, Debbie!
12:29Would you care for another shake, sir?
12:32Mm.
12:32Thanks, but no thanks, Cambridge.
12:34Thank you, ladies.
12:35Um, do you have any idea how I could get back to the backyard?
12:40Certainly, sir.
12:41Take the first set of stairs down to the second set of stairs,
12:44which upon you'll walk up.
12:46Then you'll take that corridor down to the third set of stairs
12:49and ascend again.
12:50They're narrow.
12:51Mr. Wahlberg had them installed for his Irish grandmother
12:54to help her feel more at home.
12:56Then you'll take the elevator up to the third floor.
12:59Don't get off.
12:59Stay on until you get to the next floor.
13:02Then you'll walk up one more set of stairs.
13:04There will be a door.
13:05That will take you directly back to the backyard area.
13:11Can you say that one more time?
13:16I got it.
13:16Oh, you got it.
13:18Ow!
13:19What the fuck?
13:19What do you mean it was out?
13:20That wasn't out?
13:21Mike, don't fucking start, okay?
13:23The ball was clearly fucking out.
13:25The ball was clearly in, man.
13:26What the fuck are you talking about?
13:27I mean, is anybody else not tired of these bullshit Sal Masekela calls?
13:31I'm fucking so annoyed here.
13:33I'm going to come clean right now just for the record.
13:35You can't fucking surf, bro.
13:36We see a lot of pictures of you on Instagram with surfboards and beaches,
13:39but we never see any pictures of you actually surfing.
13:42We're going to go there?
13:43We're going on the record?
13:44Yeah.
13:45It's on the record.
13:46If we're on the record, how about you tell Paul what you really said about him not doing
13:50your podcast?
13:51Yo!
13:52I thought you said we was all good.
13:54No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Paul.
13:56You ain't good.
13:57No, we ain't good, Pierce.
13:58I asked you to be on my fucking podcast three times.
14:01Three times, you blew me off.
14:03Yeah, you know what that means?
14:04When you come to the net, you fucking duck.
14:06Good job with the Brooklyn Nets, too.
14:08Way to take a check.
14:09Are you done, Mike?
14:10I'm fucking done.
14:11You know what else I'm done about?
14:12You can't snowboard either.
14:13Well, first off, the ball was fucking out, and second of all, you're not black.
14:19Okay, make it racial.
14:20Make it racial.
14:20Okay, okay, okay.
14:21He's getting racial.
14:22Why the fuck you want to get racial?
14:23Let it go.
14:23Mr. Gringo Mandingo?
14:25Let it go.
14:25We got this.
14:26Just let it go.
14:27Yo, check out that tricep indentation, man.
14:30Full horseshoe.
14:32Nice.
14:32Yeah, you're about to see nice.
14:34Believe that.
14:35Let's go.
14:36Let's do it.
14:40See, that's a little pep talk I gave him.
14:41You know what he's doing now.
14:43Let's do it, let's do it, let's do it, let's do it.
14:44Yes.
14:45Hey, I didn't sign up for this, okay?
14:49Good shot, Jeff.
14:51There you go, baby, just like we practiced.
14:55Oh, yeah?
14:55Yes.
14:56That's you, Paul.
15:00What the fuck?
15:01Fuck.
15:01Pick it up.
15:02I got it.
15:05Fuck.
15:05All right, match point.
15:06Let's get this shit over with.
15:11Ooh.
15:14Yes!
15:14Yes!
15:16Yes!
15:16Game, motherfucker.
15:17Fuck!
15:18Game, set, match.
15:20Yes!
15:20Yes!
15:21Yes!
15:22Yes!
15:22Yes!
15:22Yes!
15:23Hey, fuck!
15:23Yes!
15:24Really?
15:24You're going to come on my court like that and act like a fucking asshole after all I've done
15:28for you today?
15:29I let you into my house.
15:31I let you eat in my fucking pool.
15:33Your friends are wearing my fucking personal bathing suits.
15:36Jesus!
15:37And look at this!
15:38Got a fucking monogram robe for this loser.
15:41You know what?
15:42Take that shit off!
15:45Oh, come on.
15:47Do I have to?
15:49Stewie.
15:55I have been working in therapy for months to control my anger, but fuck this!
16:01Matter of fact, all y'all get the fuck out of my house!
16:05You're talking about them, Ray.
16:06Fuck you, Paul.
16:07Fuck your finals MVP, too.
16:09That was KG and Ray's team.
16:11That's the real truth, and everybody knows it but you.
16:14Yo, I'm going to let that shit slide right now, but only because you're from Boston,
16:19and Good Vibrations was a dope-ass song.
16:22But if you come at me with that shit again, I'm going to burn your fucking house down,
16:26omelet bar and all, all right?
16:29Cool.
16:31I'm out, too.
16:32Eat a dick, Master Kayla.
16:33Bring some fucking glasses next time.
16:35That's cute.
16:35Why don't you buy yourself a fucking swing and some athleticism, okay?
16:38Okay.
16:40Hold up, Mike.
16:41You know I came with you, right?
16:45Holy shit.
16:46Okay.
16:47What about the shoes?
16:48Just give him a minute.
16:50Okay.
16:50He usually comes down pretty quickly.
16:53You guys, I'm really sorry.
16:55It's not you I'm mad at.
16:58It's just these shoes.
16:59I can tell you what, I'm never wearing these again.
17:01Ever.
17:02Listen, since you're not going to wear them no more,
17:04maybe we just take them off your hands, you know what I mean?
17:07You know what?
17:08I'm going to see you two in hell, you pieces of shit.
17:10Wait, wait, wait, wait.
17:11Yo, Mark!
17:12Mark, what the fucking...
17:13You...
17:14What are you doing?
17:18Hold on.
17:19Uh, since you're not mad at us anymore,
17:22any chance we can stay?
17:24No, you can't fucking stay.
17:27Need some me time to reflect.
17:29It's okay, Mark.
17:30It's okay.
17:31Alexa, play me some fucking Beethoven.
17:36Come on.
17:37Yeah, fuck.
17:44So you've had this plan the whole time?
17:46I always have a plan.
17:48Does anyone else think this is a bad plan?
17:50Nope.
17:51It's not a bad plan.
17:52It's a terrible plan.
17:53What's the worst that could happen?
17:55A trespassing ticket?
17:56Fuck trespassing.
17:58And I ain't trying to get eaten by no Black Panther.
18:01So, if a crocodile's chasing you, you want to run in a zigzag.
18:05But if a bear's after you, you want to make yourself really big.
18:08Who gives a shit about that?
18:09What about a Black Panther?
18:10I don't know.
18:11They didn't teach us about that in Boy Scouts.
18:12But I do know something about facing down an angry moose, though.
18:15Yo, none of that info helps.
18:16Well, okay, listen.
18:17According to this article, all you have to do is avoid eye contact, don't turn your back,
18:21and make yourself as big as possible.
18:24Well, I'm pretty sure he's more scared of you than you of him.
18:27Well, he must be out here shitting bricks, because I'm fucking terrified.
18:33Holy shit.
18:35Look.
18:38Wahlberg has thrown so much shit down here.
18:40Yo, this guy's an asshole.
18:42Devin, I see why you don't like him.
18:44This is totally illegal and totally cool.
18:48Oh, yo, guys, there's another monogram rope down here.
18:54Dwayne Johnson.
18:55I'm keeping it.
18:56Oh, I see one of the 04s right there.
18:59Where's the other one?
19:01Oh, shit.
19:02Y'all hear that?
19:03Oh, stop being paranoid.
19:04Just find the other one.
19:05All right, I'm looking.
19:07Oh, I think I see it.
19:13Hey, guys, you ain't gonna like the sound of this, but, um,
19:18I think I made eye contact with it.
19:19Eye contact with what?
19:21Uh, the other Michael Jordan's Black Panther.
19:24Hey, big fella.
19:26No, come on.
19:27You a Black Panther, I'm a black man.
19:30Wakanda forever.
19:31Bobby?
19:31Hmm?
19:32Run.
19:37Oh, fuck on me.
19:38Go!
19:44Whoa!
19:45Oh, thank God.
19:47Oh, God.
19:51Where's Bobby?
19:52I told him to run, but he wouldn't listen.
19:54He never listens.
19:55Look, I'm going back in to get him.
19:58No, no, Devin, we can't lose you, too.
20:00You have kids, man.
20:01Look, I wouldn't be able to look them in the eyes
20:03if I didn't go back.
20:04I am not praying.
20:05I am not praying.
20:06I am not praying.
20:08I am not praying.
20:09What are you doing?
20:11The article said never turn your back.
20:13Man, look at that.
20:14Yeah!
20:17Yeah!
20:18Yeah!
20:18Yeah!
20:23Disguffed.
20:24Woo!
20:24Woo!
20:25Boy, if you go.
20:26Boy, if you go.
20:28Woo!
20:28Woo!
20:28That's all you do.
20:29Fuck, gotta vote ya.
20:32Woo!
20:33Woo!
20:33Woo!
20:34We don't know ya.
20:36Woo!
20:37Woo!
20:38We'll just ghost ya.
20:40Woo!
20:40Boy, if you go.
20:42Boy, if you go.
20:43Boy, don't you.
20:43Huh?
20:44Woo!
20:44That's all you do.
20:46Fuck, gotta vote ya.
20:48Woo!
20:49Woo!
20:49Hey!
20:50We don't know ya.
20:52Woo!
20:53Hey!
20:54We'll just...
20:58Ghost ya.
20:59We don't know ya.
21:00Woo!
21:01Woo!
21:02We'll just ghost ya.
21:04Woo!
21:04Woo!
21:05Boy, if you go.
21:06Boy, if you go.
21:07Boy, if you do.
21:07Woo!
21:08Woo!
21:09Yes, I read ya.
21:10Woo!
21:11Fuck, gotta vote ya.
21:12Woo!
21:13Woo!
21:14Woo!
21:14Boy, you don't know ya.
21:18Woo!
21:19Yes, I read ya.
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