00:05Who are you, if you can't remember who you are?
00:48Crashing Yields Memory Center.
00:49Yeah, I'm here to see a patient in the Alzheimer's ward.
00:52You're a visitor?
00:53Yes.
00:54I'm sorry, but our solos aren't allowed visitors.
00:56Yeah, I know, I just, I traveled a long way.
01:01They're meant to stay as solos.
01:03Yeah, I know the rules.
01:04Can you make an exception?
01:08Just this once.
01:26Are you still in Waldo Thompson?
01:30Yes.
01:36Yes.
01:51Yes.
01:52Are you Clark Kent?
01:54Yes.
01:56Are you Mickey Mouse?
01:59Yes.
02:12Hello, Stuart.
02:17Install stem cells directly into the bloodstream.
02:22Memory regeneration should occur within four to five minutes.
02:27It's just gonna hurt, rightfully so.
02:50Okay.
02:53Phase one.
02:55Base memory.
02:56Okay.
03:05Can you hear me, Stuart?
03:12Fuck.
03:15Okay.
03:17Look at that light.
03:19What color is that?
03:22Green.
03:24Screen, isn't it?
03:27Green.
03:31Yeah.
03:32Not blue, not yellow, not red, not white.
03:37That's green.
03:39That's right.
03:40Green.
03:42Green like grass.
03:46Green like trees, leaves, salamanders.
03:51Keep going.
03:54Green beans, alligators, all green beans.
03:57I love green beans.
03:58Yeah.
04:00What else is green?
04:01Green like peas and pickles and...
04:06and parakeets.
04:08The Incredible Hulk.
04:10The Grinch.
04:11The Grinch who stole Christmas.
04:14Yeah.
04:15Woldy clothes.
04:17Craying mantis.
04:19The Emerald City.
04:21Huh?
04:22Kermit the fucking frog.
04:23It's not easy being green.
04:26That's good, Stuart.
04:27Really good.
04:29Tell me, where are we, huh?
04:30What's this place called?
04:32This is a, uh...
04:34I know you can remember.
04:38Uh...
04:39Beach.
04:40This is a beach.
04:41That's right.
04:42Yeah.
04:42We're on a beach.
04:43All this shit here is sand.
04:45Just...
04:45sand.
04:47And that?
04:48That's the sea.
04:50That's right.
04:51Not a river, not a pond, not a lake, not a puddle.
04:55The sea.
04:56We'll stop now.
04:58The waves.
05:00The waves.
05:02Crashing.
05:04Crashing.
05:05Like timpani drums in Beethoven's Sixth.
05:07Like, like, like fireworks on the Fourth of July.
05:13Twenty percent.
05:14You're doing so well, Stuart.
05:17Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
05:18Hey, hey, hey.
05:18Look at me.
05:19Look at me, man.
05:20I can amble.
05:22I can amble.
05:23My muscles, remember.
05:25My bones.
05:26Reacquaint.
05:28Look.
05:30I can dance.
05:31Soft shoe.
05:33Tap.
05:34Jazz.
05:35Macarena.
05:36Yeah.
05:37Electric slide.
05:38Oh.
05:39Yeah.
05:40Hey, what's this?
05:41Watch me whip.
05:44Oh, yeah?
05:45You watch me nae nae.
05:47Whoo!
05:47Whoo!
05:50I can sing.
05:51Oh, I love to sing.
05:53Always have.
05:55Wise men say
06:00Only fools rushes
06:04For once in my life
06:07I have someone who needs me
06:11I miss the old, Kanye.
06:13Straight from the gold, Kanye.
06:14Chop up the soul, Kanye.
06:16Set on his goals, Kanye.
06:17Yeah.
06:21Oh, yeah.
06:24Yeah.
06:26Dope jams.
06:29Lip bangers.
06:32I know again.
06:37And I know that I know.
06:48Aber ich weiß nicht, du.
06:53Nein?
06:54Warum machst du das?
06:56Warum machst du das für mich?
06:59Hm?
07:00Ich bin von der Nationalheilung.
07:04NHS?
07:05Wenn du das, wenn du das mit meiner Pension verletzt hast,
07:08das ist, wenn du das mit meiner Pension verletzt hast,
07:10ist, dass du das mit meiner Pension verletzt hast.
07:13Es nimmt Stem Cells,
07:15ernet sie in dir,
07:17und regnet totales Fünste,
07:20und dann danach ernet sich alle deine Pensionen.
07:23Meine Pensionen?
07:27Und es ist frei?
07:29Es ist frei.
07:31Es sollte sein.
07:33Ich wusste zuerst, dass sie das Verlust
07:36this cure for alzheimer's yeah but i always said i want to be a human right
07:45it's awful in there that demented fog of dementia and there's like being buried alive
07:54or cast in amber but still puttering inside
08:02you want to roar you wish to scream but screams and roars are all banned in that land
08:10no crying no mercy no wishes or prayers you cry out for your mother or your father or your god
08:29they're all gone too they've all left in the fog and the terror and their fury oh rises in you
08:40i exist you want to shout i exist i exist
08:49but you surely do not not in this land
08:56but then you came you burned off all the fog and i can remember again
09:08i'm alive my son
09:12and you're to blame
09:18phase one is complete brain regeneration is at 50 percent now comes the rest phase two
09:27personal memory and recovery
09:37hang on tight
09:57and you remember
10:01my wife's farts in the night
10:05code red code blue
10:10and you remember
10:11floating in my best friend neil's pool
10:14looking up at the clouds
10:16watching 13 going on 30
10:21seeing ming chong in the supermarket
10:24flying down that blue slide into mom's arms
10:28this slide
10:32where was that
10:34and you're in the park with the big trees and a duck pond
10:39and the woman
10:41the mother what does she look like
10:45it's all i can remember
10:47it can't be everything
10:48yeah it's all there is
10:52that's all the memories
10:56afraid so are you sure
10:58of course i'm sure
11:01i already said i'm sure
11:04it's all there is
11:05it's all i can remember okay
11:08you remember me stewart
11:11i'm afraid we just met
11:15what what is this this is some kind of nhs thing huh
11:19like a shakedown of a poor alzheimer's patients pension fund
11:25were you ever diagnosed
11:29of course
11:31alzheimer's patients exhibit identical symptoms to aging memory addicts
11:36if you install too many recollections
11:40over time your neurons are destroyed
11:44so you know what i think stewart
11:49after years of stealing memories your brain was dying up from alzheimer's but from your addiction
11:55son you you you must have the wrong man
12:00i know who you are
12:02case of mistaken identity
12:03i know what you did
12:05i didn't do anything
12:07i spent the past 11 years
12:12trying to find the monster who took the memories of my mom
12:17who started by hacking into company servers
12:20and who graduated to violently assaulting people
12:24who stuck an extractor
12:27right in their brains
12:30downloaded their memories
12:31i've long thought about this day
12:34about the day i would find the man who took her from me
12:38in that hospital hall by the vending machine
12:42and strip that little boy of every memory of the mom
12:46and he just lost
12:58what do you want
13:01what do i want
13:04do you know what my earliest memory is
13:08dark shadow
13:10reaching out to me
13:13i can't see her face
13:15or her body she's a glitch
13:17a blur
13:20pixelated buffering
13:22a dark fog
13:26i can't even see her
13:29my own mother and i can't even see her
13:31and i can't hear
13:33not a laugh
13:35or a cry
13:37or
13:39i love you sweetheart
13:42i can't even miss her stuart
13:45my own mother and i can't even miss her
13:50the worst part of all
13:52is that the only place she still exists
13:56is in there
13:59and it's a shitty feeling you know
14:01because the fucked up thing is
14:03and now i need you
14:08so what do i want stuart
14:13i want what's mine
14:16i want you to give me back what you took from me
14:20i want her
14:25i
14:28can't
14:29you give me her
14:31and i won't tell the authorities about you
14:33i won't bring you in
14:34you can live out your days here
14:47how do i know
14:50how can i know
14:52you'll hold up your end
14:57what choice do you have
15:08oh well
15:14blue
15:17blue eyes
15:21jet blue eyes
15:26blue how
15:27blue like the mediterranean at twilight
15:34blue like a starling's feathers
15:39blue like an aster flower
15:42this moment's after bloom
15:45she had blue eyes
15:47in clumps of mascara
15:55and when she looked at you
16:00when she looked at you my god her eyes
16:05opened wide
16:06really
16:07yeah
16:08right
16:10and she cooed when she saw you
16:15involuntarily she cooed when you walked into her room
16:19she would gasp
16:22as if she thought how
16:25how could this boy be so perfect
16:29how could i have made such a beautiful kid
16:34how could he be mine
16:35she gasped when she saw me
16:38yeah
16:40and she smelled like lavender
16:42it was the detergent she used
16:47i've always loved the smell of lavender
16:49and she would do this thing
16:54whenever she saw me
16:56you
16:58in the morning
16:59she would
17:01hold out her hand
17:02and sit for a handshake like like we were business partners
17:07and she would say nice to make your acquaintance mr man
17:15and she'd take you to the playground
17:18every day
17:20to feed the ducks and play
17:23and there was this slide
17:25yeah
17:27big blue slide
17:28it was like your everest
17:31you saw her growing small
17:35and then you slid down
17:39right into her arms
17:40and she held it tight
17:46i don't know what came over her that day
17:50but her eyes were watery and her little nose
17:56her nose what what is it like a button small red
18:03and she said
18:04i will always catch you
18:08i don't
18:09i will never let you fall
18:15she sounds lovely
18:18she was
18:21she really
18:23was
18:26and so were you
18:28a lovely boy
18:52i had a child
18:58a beautiful boy
19:02during the stay i i began to make him a nuisance
19:08an annoyance
19:10an interruption to the screens that i loved
19:15to the devices i cherished
19:21i made excuses not to play with him
19:25not to help him with his school
19:29not to show him the stars or
19:32tuck him into bed at night
19:37and then one day
19:42one day
19:43one day he got sick
19:47virus took him in its arms
19:51and he ailed and glitched and
19:55begged for breath
19:58until
20:00he was gone
20:03and the light left my world
20:09and when he passed
20:12i roamed the streets for days
20:16wishing to disappear
20:19wishing to die
20:22wishing to leave on a rocket ship or
20:26stay locked in my stay
20:31travel to the future
20:35i'll be punished forever
20:39wishing i had seen my boy for what he was
20:45which was the whole world
20:52i couldn't bear the memories of it
20:56so i spiraled and tumbled and
21:01that's when i started
21:04stealing
21:05leaving
21:09i needed to stop my heart
21:12from this
21:14god-awful bleeding
21:17i stole the other memories
21:20to rid myself of my own
21:23i stole from them
21:25from hundreds of victims
21:29from you
21:32the sweet boy
21:33just like my own
21:35and i just
21:37needed to remember a boy's love for his parents
21:42so that i could make myself believe this is what my boy must
21:46have felt about me
21:51so i took your memories
21:54and i watched everyone over
21:58and over again
22:01six years ago
22:03of you
22:04and her
22:06and together
22:12but as the dementia progressed and the
22:16fog overtook and the memories grew dim and i could see only
22:22dark shadows where people should be
22:27and i realized
22:31the worst truth of all
22:35this is what my boy must have felt
22:38when he looked at me
22:39a glitzing father whose face he hardly saw
22:46whose embrace
22:50he never knew
22:53whose love
22:58whose love he never felt
23:05i see now that
23:08i've committed this same crime twice
23:12to you
23:14and to him
23:19robbing the child of his parent
23:23tell me about that last day
23:28my last day with her
23:31son
23:32tell me i want to know
23:40it was cold
23:43you had on a sweater
23:47and you went in to see her
23:51and she was lying in bed
23:54bald and pale
23:57her nose was
23:59red and small like a bun
24:02you crept toward her and
24:06as soon as she saw you
24:08her blue eyes
24:10open wide
24:13her eyelashes
24:15caked with mascara
24:16wide like this
24:18she reached out her hand to you
24:20to shake it
24:22as if we were business partners
24:24which in a way we were
24:25her and me
24:28and she said
24:29pleasure to make your acquaintance mr man
24:32exactly so
24:34exactly so
24:37and she held you tight
24:41only now it was final
24:43she smelled of lavender
24:46she smelled great
24:49she pulled you close
25:06she held you tight
25:15and she said
25:19tell me what she said
25:23she said my boy
25:26it has been the
25:28privilege of my life to be your mom
25:31i'm sorry we've had such a short visit together
25:37and as the years go on
25:40these moments together may fade but it's okay
25:44it's okay
25:45it's okay if you forget me
25:49it's okay if you forget me
25:50because you never can
25:53you are literally
25:55made up of me
25:58i'm in every fiber of you every eyelash and follicle and cell
26:03like the stars in the sky and the sand and the sea
26:07i'll always be with you
26:10and and you don't need to remember for it to be true
26:15well i will for you
26:22and as you held her close
26:25you looked at the respirator beside her bed the machine that
26:30hung and glowed with a green light
26:33yeah until our breath ceased
26:39and she grew still
26:43and the green light too brief went out
27:03and you found her again son
27:10and you found her again son
27:17she would be so proud
27:27i am sorry
27:31i'm so sorry for what i've taken from you
27:37for what i've done
27:57i have to take it with me
28:01the memories
28:04the green light
28:06that's right
28:07oh you you you you said
28:09i said i wouldn't tell the authorities about you
28:16no no no no no no no no no no no please please don't don't don't take them
28:23don't send me back there please
28:26please
28:28i have to steward please you know i do
28:37can i ask just
28:39one small favor
28:40you don't deserve a favor however small
28:49you've hurt so many people
28:52i know
28:53but can't you just leave me one one memory
29:00just one please
29:07which memory
29:10of your boy
29:12those memories are all corrupted i'm afraid
29:16so which one
29:22i don't know
29:24i know
29:26you don't know
29:41hey steward
29:42yeah
29:46would you show me what it felt like
29:48what
29:51or a hug
30:15you know steward
30:20i imagine this is what your boy must have thought your hugs felt like too
30:28how about this one steward
30:31how about this memory
30:59how about this memory
31:05is
31:05it's
31:05to be
31:14Vielen Dank.
31:39Vielen Dank.
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