00:05Who are you, if you can't remember who you are?
00:48Crashing Yields Memory Center.
00:49Yeah, I'm here to see a patient in the Alzheimer's ward.
00:52You're a visitor?
00:53Yes.
00:54I'm sorry, but our solos aren't allowed visitors.
00:56Yeah, I know, I just...
00:59I traveled a long way.
01:01They're meant to stay as solos.
01:03Yeah, I know the rules.
01:04Can you make an exception?
01:08Just this once.
01:26Are you still in Waldo Thompson?
01:31Yes.
01:52Are you Clark Kent?
01:54Yes.
01:55Are you Mickey Mouse?
01:59Yes.
02:12Hello, Stuart.
02:17Install stem cells directly into the bloodstream.
02:22Memory regeneration should occur within four to five minutes.
02:27That's just gonna hurt.
02:31Rightfully so.
02:32Do it.
02:33No.
02:34No.
02:36No.
02:37No.
02:37No.
02:50Okay.
02:52Phase one.
02:55Phase memory.
02:57Okay.
03:02Okay.
03:06You hear me, Stuart?
03:12Fuck.
03:15Okay.
03:17Look at that light.
03:19What color is that?
03:22Green.
03:24It's green, isn't it?
03:28Green.
03:31Yeah.
03:32Not blue, not yellow, not red, not white.
03:37It's green.
03:39That's right.
03:40Green.
03:42Green like grass.
03:46Green like trees, leaves, salamanders.
03:52You're gone.
03:54Green beans, alligators, all green beans.
03:57I love green beans.
03:58Yeah.
04:00What else is green?
04:01Green like peas and pickles and parakeets.
04:08The Incredible Hulk.
04:10The Grinch.
04:11The Grinch who stole Christmas.
04:12Mm-hmm.
04:14Yeah.
04:16Woldy clothes.
04:17Craying mantis.
04:19The Emerald City.
04:21Eh?
04:22Kermit the fucking frog.
04:23Mm-hmm.
04:24It's not easy being green.
04:26It's good, Stuart.
04:27Really good.
04:29Now tell me, where are we, huh?
04:30What's this place called?
04:32This is a, uh...
04:34I know you can remember.
04:39Uh...
04:39Beach.
04:40This is a beach.
04:41That's right.
04:42Yeah.
04:42We're on a beach.
04:43All this shit here is sand.
04:45Just sand.
04:47And that, that's the sea.
04:50Eh?
04:50That's right.
04:51Not a river, not a pond, not a lake, not a puddle.
04:55The sea.
04:56We'll stop now.
04:57Hmm.
04:59The waves.
05:00The waves.
05:02Crashing.
05:04Crashing.
05:05Like timpani drums in Beethoven's Sixth.
05:07Like, like, like fireworks on the Fourth of July.
05:1320%.
05:14You're doing so well, Stuart.
05:17Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
05:18Hey, hey, hey, hey.
05:18Look at me.
05:19Look at me, man.
05:20I can amble.
05:21Ha, ha, ha, ha.
05:22I can amble.
05:23My muscles, remember.
05:24My bones, for your quaint.
05:26Ha, ha, ha, ha.
05:28Look.
05:30You dance.
05:31Soft shoe.
05:33Tap.
05:34Jazz.
05:35Macarena.
05:36Yeah.
05:37Electric slide.
05:38Oh, yeah.
05:40Hey, what's this, too?
05:41Watch me whip.
05:44Oh, yeah?
05:45Watch me nae nae.
05:47Whoo!
05:47Whoo!
05:50I can sing.
05:51Oh, I love to sing.
05:53Always have.
05:55Wise men say, only fools rush in.
06:05For once in my life, I have someone who needs me.
06:10Ha, ha, ha.
06:11I miss the old, Kanye.
06:13Straight from the gold, Kanye.
06:14Chop up the soul, Kanye.
06:16Set on his goals, Kanye.
06:17Yeah.
06:18Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
06:22Oh, yeah.
06:24Yeah.
06:25The dope jams.
06:29The lip bangers.
06:32I know again.
06:36And I know that I know.
06:49But I don't know you.
06:53No?
06:54Why are you doing this?
06:56Why are you doing this for me?
06:59Hm?
07:01I'm from the National Health Service.
07:04NHS?
07:05Well, if you think you're going to pay for this with my pension, you've got to be able to think
07:09of-
07:09Memory regeneration is universal.
07:13It takes stem cells, inject them into you, and regenerates total brain function.
07:20And soon after, it recovers all of your memories.
07:24My memories?
07:27And it's free?
07:29It's free.
07:31As it should be.
07:33I know at first that they were-
07:35That they were selling this cure for Alzheimer's.
07:39Yeah.
07:40But I always said,
07:42I want to be a human, right?
07:45It's awful in there.
07:48That demented fog of dementia.
07:51And there it's like being buried alive.
07:54Or cast in amber, but still puttering inside.
08:03You want to roar.
08:04You wish to scream, but screams and roars are all banned in that land.
08:10No crying.
08:13No mercy.
08:15No wishes or prayers.
08:19You cry out for your mother, or your father, or your God.
08:28But they're all gone, too.
08:31They've all left in the fog.
08:34And their terror, and their fury, oh, rises in you.
08:40I exist!
08:41You want to shout, I exist!
08:45I exist!
08:50But you surely do not.
08:52Not in this land.
08:56But then, you came.
09:00You burned off all the fog.
09:04And I can remember again.
09:08I'm alive, my son.
09:12And you're to blame.
09:18Phase one is complete.
09:20Brain regeneration is at 50%.
09:23Now comes the rest.
09:25Phase two.
09:26Personal memory recovery.
09:37And untied.
09:57What do you remember?
10:01My wife's farts in the night.
10:05Code red.
10:06Code blue.
10:10Floating in my best friend Neil's pool.
10:14Looking up at the clouds.
10:17Watching 13 going on 30.
10:21Seeing Ming Chong in the supermarket.
10:24Flying down that blue slide into Mom's arms.
10:28The slide.
10:32Where was that?
10:34In the park.
10:36With the big trees and the duck pond.
10:39And the woman.
10:41And the mother.
10:43What does she look like?
10:45That's all I can remember.
10:47It can't be everything.
10:49Well.
10:51Yeah.
10:51That's all there is.
10:53That's all the memories?
10:56Afraid so.
10:57Are you sure?
10:59Of course I'm sure.
11:01I already said I'm sure.
11:04That's all there is.
11:05That's all I can remember, okay?
11:08You remember me, Stuart?
11:11I'm afraid we just met.
11:15What is this?
11:16Is this some kind of NHS thing, huh?
11:19Like a shakedown of a poor Alzheimer's patient's pension fund?
11:25Were you ever diagnosed?
11:28Of course.
11:31Alzheimer's patients exhibit identical symptoms to aging memory addicts.
11:36If you install too many recollections.
11:40And over time, your neurons are destroyed.
11:44So you know what I think, Stuart?
11:49That after years of stealing memories, your brain was dying, not from Alzheimer's, but from your addiction.
11:56Son, you, you, you must have the wrong man.
12:00I know who you are.
12:02Case of mistaken identity.
12:04I know what you did.
12:05I didn't do anything.
12:07I spent the past 11 years trying to find the monster who took the memories of my mom.
12:17Who started by hacking into company servers and who graduated to violently assaulting people.
12:25Stuck an extractor right in their fucking brains.
12:30Downloaded their memories.
12:31I've long thought about this day.
12:34About the day I would find the man who took her from me in that hospital hall by the vending
12:41machine.
12:42Strip that little boy of every memory of the mom he just lost.
12:58What do you want?
13:01What do I want?
13:04Do you know what my earliest memory is?
13:08A dark shadow reaching out to me.
13:13I can't see her face.
13:15Or her body.
13:16She's a glitch.
13:17A blur.
13:20Pixelated buffering.
13:22A dark fog.
13:26I can't even see her.
13:29My own mother and I can't even see her.
13:31And I can't hear...
13:33Not a laugh, or a cry, or...
13:39I love you, sweetheart.
13:42I can't even miss her, Stuart.
13:45My own mother and I can't even miss her.
13:50The worst part of all...
13:52Is that the only place she still exists...
13:56Is in there.
13:59And it's a shitty feeling, you know.
14:01Cause the fucked up thing is...
14:04Now I need you.
14:08So what do I want, Stuart?
14:13I want what's mine.
14:16I want you to give me back what you took from me.
14:20I want her.
14:27I...
14:28Can't.
14:29You give me her.
14:31And I won't tell the authorities about you.
14:33I won't bring you in.
14:34You can live out your days here.
14:47How do I know?
14:50How...
14:50How can I know...
14:52You'll hold up your end?
14:57What choice do you have?
15:08Oh well.
15:14Blue.
15:15Blue.
15:16Blue eyes.
15:21They had blue eyes.
15:26Blue how?
15:28Blue like the Mediterranean at twilight.
15:33Blue like a starling's feathers.
15:40Blue like an aster flower...
15:42This moment's afternoon.
15:45She had blue eyes.
15:47Hmm.
15:49And clumps of mascara.
15:51Always clumps.
15:56And when she looked at you...
16:00When...
16:00When she looked at you, my God, her eyes...
16:04Opened wide.
16:06Really?
16:07Yeah.
16:08Right.
16:10And she cooed when she saw you.
16:15Involuntarily, she cooed when you walked into her room.
16:19She would gasp.
16:22As if she thought, how...
16:26How could this boy be so perfect?
16:28How could I have made such a beautiful kid?
16:34How could he be mine?
16:36She gasped when she saw me.
16:38Yeah.
16:40And she smelled like lavender.
16:42It was the detergent she used.
16:47I've always loved the smell of lavender.
16:49Mm-hmm.
16:49Well, she would do this...
16:54Whenever she saw me...
16:56You.
16:57In the morning.
17:00She would...
17:01Hold out her hand.
17:03And sit for a handshake.
17:04Like we were business partners.
17:07And she would say,
17:08Nice to make you acquaintance, Mr. Man.
17:15And she'd take you to the playground.
17:18Every day.
17:20To feed the ducks and play.
17:23And there was this...
17:25Slide.
17:26Yeah.
17:27Big blue slide.
17:29It was like your Everest.
17:31You saw her growing small.
17:35And then you slid down...
17:39Right into her arms.
17:43And she held it tight.
17:46I don't know what came over her that day.
17:50But her eyes were watery.
17:53And her little nose.
17:55Her nose.
17:57What...what did you...
17:58Like a button.
17:59Small.
18:01Red.
18:02And she said...
18:05I will...
18:06Always...
18:07Catch you, Otto.
18:09I will never let you fall.
18:15She sounds lovely.
18:18She was.
18:21She really...
18:23Was.
18:26And so were you.
18:28A lovely boy.
18:33Why?
18:33Why?
18:34Why do you take the memories...
18:36From that little boy in that hospital hall...
18:38Who just lost his mom?
18:54I had a child once.
18:58A beautiful boy.
19:02During the stay, I...I began to think him a nuisance.
19:08and annoyance,
19:10and interruption to the screens that I loved,
19:15to the devices I cherished.
19:21I made excuses not to play with him,
19:25not to help him with his school,
19:28not to show him the stars
19:30or tuck him into bed at night.
19:36And then one day...
19:42One day, he got sick.
19:46The virus took him in its arms,
19:50and he ailed and glitched and...
19:54begged for breath...
19:59until he was gone.
20:04And the light left my world.
20:09And when he passed,
20:12I roamed the streets for days,
20:16wishing to disappear,
20:19wishing to die,
20:22wishing to leave on a rocket ship,
20:24or stay locked in my stay,
20:29or...
20:31travel to the future,
20:35or be punished forever.
20:39Wishing I had seen my boy for what he was,
20:45which was the whole world.
20:52I couldn't bear the memories of it.
20:56So I spiraled and tumbled and...
21:01that's when I started...
21:04stealing,
21:05leaving.
21:09I needed to stop my heart...
21:12from this...
21:14god-awful bleeding.
21:17I stole the other memories...
21:20to rid myself of my own.
21:22I stole from them...
21:25from hundreds of victims...
21:29from you...
21:32the sweet boy...
21:33just like my own.
21:35And I just...
21:37needed to remember...
21:39a boy's love for his parents...
21:42so that I could make myself believe...
21:45this is what my boy must have felt about me.
21:51So I took your memories...
21:54and I watched everyone...
21:57over...
21:58and over again.
21:59six years of...
22:02of you...
22:04and her...
22:06and together.
22:12But as the dementia progressed...
22:15and the...
22:16fog overtook...
22:18and the memories grew dim...
22:20and I could see only...
22:21dark shadows...
22:23where people should be...
22:27I realized...
22:30the worst truth of all...
22:35that this is what my boy must have felt...
22:38when he looked at me...
22:40a glitzing father whose...
22:42face he hardly saw...
22:47whose embrace...
22:50he never knew...
22:53whose love...
22:58whose love he never felt...
23:05I see now that...
23:07I've committed this same crime twice...
23:12to you...
23:14and to him...
23:19robbing...
23:19the child of his parent...
23:21the child of his parent...
23:23Tell me about that last day...
23:28my last day with her...
23:31My last day with her...
23:31Simon...
23:32Tell me I wanna know...
23:40it was cold...
23:43you had on a sweater...
23:47and you went in to see her...
23:50and she was lying in bed...
23:54bald and pale...
23:57her nose was...
23:59red and small like a bun...
24:02you crept toward her and...
24:06as soon as she saw you...
24:08her blue eyes...
24:10open wide...
24:14her eyelashes...
24:15caked with mascara...
24:16wide like this...
24:18she reached out her hand to you...
24:21to shake it...
24:22as if we were business partners...
24:24which...
24:25in a way we were...
24:26her and me...
24:27and she said...
24:29pleasure to make your acquaintance...
24:31Mr. Mann...
24:32exactly so...
24:36and she held you tight...
24:41only now...
24:42it was final...
24:43she smelled her lavender...
24:46she smelled great...
24:50she pulled you close...
24:53like that day on that...
24:54big blue slide...
24:57she said she'd always be there...
24:59to catch me...
25:01even if she was gone...
25:03that's right...
25:04and her breath grew faint...
25:06and...
25:07she pulled you close...
25:12she held you tight...
25:15and she said...
25:19tell me what she said...
25:23she said...
25:24my boy...
25:26it has been the...
25:28privilege of my life...
25:30to be your mom...
25:32I'm sorry we've had...
25:33such a short visit together...
25:37and as the years go on...
25:40these moments together...
25:41may fade...
25:42but it's okay...
25:44it's okay...
25:45if you forget me...
25:48it's okay...
25:50if you forget me...
25:51because you never can...
25:53you are...
25:54literally...
25:55made up...
25:56of me...
25:58I'm in every fiber...
26:00of you...
26:00every eyelash...
26:01and follicle...
26:02and cell...
26:03like the stars...
26:04and the sky...
26:05and the sand...
26:05and the sea...
26:07I'll always...
26:08be with you...
26:10and...
26:10and you don't need...
26:11to remember...
26:12for it to be true...
26:15for I will for you...
26:23and as you held her close...
26:25you looked at the respirator...
26:27beside her bed...
26:28the machine that...
26:30hung...
26:31and glowed with a...
26:32green light?
26:35yeah...
26:35until her breath ceased...
26:39and she grew still...
26:43and the green light...
26:45too brief...
26:46went out...
26:53a memory isn't simply...
26:55a thing you have...
26:58it's a promise...
27:01it's a vow...
27:03to the one you love...
27:05remembering of the search...
27:08and you found her again...
27:11son...
27:16she would be so proud...
27:27I am sorry...
27:32for what I've taken from you...
27:36for what I've done...
27:51it's time, Stuart...
27:56for what?
27:58I have to take it with me...
28:01the memories?
28:04the green light?
28:06that's right...
28:07oh... you... you... you...
28:08you said...
28:09I said...
28:09I wouldn't tell the authorities...
28:11about you...
28:16no...
28:17no... no... no...
28:19no... no...
28:20no... no...
28:20please... please...
28:21don't... don't...
28:22don't take them...
28:23don't send me back there...
28:26please...
28:28I have to, Stuart...
28:30please...
28:31you know I do...
28:36I...
28:37can I ask just...
28:39one small favor?
28:41you don't deserve a favor...
28:45however small...
28:50you've hurt so many people...
28:53I know...
28:54but...
28:55can't you just...
28:56leave me one...
28:57one memory...
28:59just one...
29:03please...
29:07which memory?
29:10of your boy?
29:12those memories are all corrupted...
29:14I'm afraid...
29:17so which one?
29:21I don't know...
29:24I know...
29:41please do it...
29:42yeah...
29:46would you show me...
29:47what it felt like?
29:49what?
29:51or a hug?
30:15you know Stuart...
30:16you know Stuart...
30:20I imagine...
30:21this is what your boy...
30:22must have thought...
30:23your hugs felt like too...
30:28how about this one Stuart?
30:31how about this memory?
30:33very...
30:42you...
Comments