00:00The End
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00:12The End
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00:20The End
00:21Oh my god, tear it off!
00:23It's Saturday, I'm still recovering
00:25until last week!
00:27Oh my god, stop, I have work to do.
00:29You have a date with that hot
00:31athletic guy to do.
00:37This is new.
00:38Okay, scoot over! Look how much room is on your side!
00:41Oh, you called it my side.
00:44Okay, that's it.
00:50Let's go!
00:52I'm pushing you out of the nest!
00:53It's 7am!
00:55I'm still sleeping!
00:57What are you doing? Are you insane?
01:08Morning.
01:09It's noon.
01:11I couldn't sleep. Your bed is so much more comfortable than mine.
01:14I'll get you the mattress then, Mom.
01:15Why? You don't like cuddling with me?
01:16I'm 35 and I live with my mother.
01:18I've gotta draw the line somewhere.
01:20I haven't slept alone since your dad died.
01:23Hey, stop, Mom. Don't use dad guilt on me.
01:25Please.
01:26Well, it's true.
01:28Look, you literally do nothing on your own.
01:30You're young and totally capable of taking care of yourself.
01:34I am young.
01:35Exactly.
01:37Take baby steps.
01:38Go out and do something alone.
01:39Like go to dinner or the movies or something.
01:42Just to see that it's not so bad.
01:43Feel some independence. You might like it.
01:46I don't have money for stuff like that.
01:49What do you do with the allowance that I give you?
01:50Who can live off $200 a week?
01:53You don't have any bills!
01:56What?
01:57Really?
01:59What are you doing tonight?
02:01You wanna come over and watch a movie?
02:02Oh, I can't.
02:04I promised Jim I'd stay home and watch some documentary on war or something.
02:07Well, wouldn't you rather hang out with me?
02:08Yeah, but I can't.
02:10At least you have the place to yourself tonight though, right?
02:12Finally get Olivia out of your hair.
02:14She told me that I should go out to dinner by myself.
02:18What does that even mean?
02:20I don't know.
02:20Something about being independent.
02:23Please.
02:23You're the definition of codependency.
02:25I just need to find you a good husband.
02:27You'll be fine.
02:29Okay.
02:31One last sprint.
02:42I am so excited to get you out.
02:46Oh, Abby just switched to pureed food and puked on me before I left.
02:49So sorry if I smell like ass.
02:51Is that salami on a piece of bread?
02:52Yeah. You wanna bite?
02:54I would destroy that.
02:56But I'm off carbs.
02:57That's why I've been so moody.
02:58Look, you're a crazy person.
02:59You're tiny.
03:00Yeah, thanks to these.
03:02You wear Spanx under your workout clothes?
03:04Um, I wear Spanx under everything.
03:07Okay, what are you gonna wear?
03:09Mom, bring some of your dresses.
03:12Oh my God.
03:13How many pantses can one person on?
03:15I mean, really.
03:16Can I see?
03:17I am coming.
03:18All right.
03:21Wow.
03:23What?
03:24I'm sorry.
03:25Do you wanna sleep with him or do you wanna put him to sleep?
03:27Well, it's casual.
03:29Like...
03:30Was I not clear that I was making fun of you with the pantsuits?
03:32What?
03:33This is Ann Taylor.
03:33I get compliments on this all the time.
03:35Okay.
03:35I mean, you look like you're going to an insurance conference.
03:38In Utah.
03:39I mean, what are those shoes?
03:40What?
03:40They're heels.
03:41Those are not heels.
03:42They're an inch off the floor.
03:44Yeah, I never understood what a kitten heel is.
03:46Just try on some of Mom's dresses.
03:47You know, for fun.
03:48Oh, God.
03:49Come on.
03:50Go, go, go.
03:51Those are not heels.
03:51Those aren't even kind of heels.
03:53Oh my God, Mom.
03:54How do you fit in this?
03:55You just have to break it in.
03:57Uncle Ben, it's gonna look great.
03:58No way.
03:59This is ridiculous.
04:00My Ann Taylor suit is dressy.
04:02Can we just see it, please?
04:04Okay.
04:04It's amazing!
04:06I'm obviously not gonna wear this.
04:07Oh, come on.
04:08No, it's fucking...
04:09It's too tight.
04:10No, it looks great.
04:14What?
04:14What's going on there?
04:16Oh.
04:17Oh, I haven't had a chance to wax.
04:19It's fine.
04:19You're gonna go on a date like that?
04:21I'm not gonna sleep with him, Mom.
04:22But if I'm gonna go out with 252 guys, I gotta be picky, okay?
04:25Well, if I were you, I would just shave it.
04:28All of it.
04:29I mean, guys like it bald now, you know?
04:31Mine is as bald as a baby's butt.
04:32Okay.
04:33Ew, Mom.
04:34Now I'm picturing it.
04:35You know what?
04:35I say you just keep it.
04:36That way you know you're not gonna sleep with him.
04:37I'm not gonna sleep with him!
04:39I'm just saying.
04:39If you have a few drinks in your decision making, get sloppy.
04:42You're definitely not gonna let anyone down there with all that nasty.
04:45It's like a nasty belt.
04:48What?
04:49I just came up with that right now.
04:51Boop.
04:52I'm not hooking up with this dude, okay?
04:54He is 26 years old and he's wearing frickin' five-toed shoes.
04:57I told you that's fixable.
04:58No.
04:59Besides, just think of it as a practice date.
05:01You're gonna be rusty.
05:02You need someone to work out that first date kinks with.
05:04Now, you are definitely gonna fuck this guy.
05:06What mom encourages her daughter to sleep with her first date?
05:09A very evolved mom.
05:11Okay, I'm wearing this.
05:12It's casual, but I'll add my ankle booties to dress it up.
05:15I can bend over and you don't see my underwear.
05:18My arms don't look fat with these sleeves and it doesn't show wet spots if I sweat,
05:21which I will because I'm really frickin' nervous.
05:23It looks super cute on you.
05:25Thanks.
05:26This is going to be my first date outfit now.
05:28So we don't have to do this ever again.
05:30We turn off the notifications on my Tinder.
05:32It's like keeping me up at night.
05:34Jane, what time is it?
05:35Seven.
05:35Fuck, I gotta go.
05:40I can't get these out.
05:42I have to go.
05:42Okay, take a breath.
05:59Hi.
06:08I'm Olivia.
06:09Oh, hey.
06:10Nice to meet you.
06:11Griffin.
06:12You rode your bike.
06:13I'm always trying to squeeze an electric cardio into my day.
06:21You, uh, ready to go outside?
06:32Yeah.
06:44Can I help you?
06:46I'm just waiting for a friend.
06:48Well, she got a flat tire, so I'm just gonna wait.
06:52I can seat you while you wait.
06:53Maybe get an appetizer?
06:55Oh, sure.
07:06Enjoy your meal.
07:07Thanks.
07:11I mean, we were born without shoes on, so it makes total sense to have the toes separated.
07:17I never take these things off.
07:19Never?
07:20Not once.
07:21Wow.
07:23Cool.
07:26Well, we've been talking all night about what I like to do.
07:28Um, what do you like to do for fun?
07:31For fun?
07:32Yeah.
07:34All kinds of stuff.
07:36Um, I work in insurance.
07:39I pay so much liability insurance because of my business.
07:43Yeah.
07:44I mean, I don't just work in insurance.
07:46That sounds boring.
07:47I'm actually really close to becoming a member of the seven-figure roundtable.
07:50It's like a really big deal in my industry.
07:52It's gonna help when I start my own business.
07:54So.
07:55I totally get that.
07:57Yeah?
07:57I got first in the suicide sprint at the CrossFit Games last year, 19th overall.
08:01And I got this flash.
08:04I could just see it.
08:06Griffin Fitness Enterprises International.
08:09That's the name of my business.
08:10Oh, what?
08:11Personal trainer.
08:12Oh.
08:13You just gotta get your head in the right place, you know?
08:15You already own your own business.
08:18Picture yourself behind that desk.
08:20And that's what I did, and look where I am now.
08:25You should totally come in for a training session on me.
08:29Oh, yeah, no, I'm not really a gym person.
08:31No, you have a really great frame.
08:34Good.
08:35Ready to order?
08:35Yes.
08:36Yeah.
08:37Um, I'm gonna have a vodka cranberry.
08:39Okay.
08:39And then I'll just have the cheeseburger, meanwhile.
08:42Okay.
08:43And I will have your cleanest grain alcohol.
08:46Okay.
08:47And I will do the white fish, cooked with no oil, no sauce, and a side of steamed veggies,
08:53please.
08:54Okay.
08:57Oh, and you know what?
08:58I will not be needing this.
09:01I don't, I don't need this either.
09:04No bun.
09:05And my burger, too.
09:06Buns.
09:07Yeah.
09:08Just on like salad or something.
09:09Protein style.
09:10Yeah.
09:10Protein style.
09:11I like it.
09:12I usually don't have bun.
09:14But you know what?
09:15Mixers, they ruin a drink.
09:17Just empty calories.
09:18You know, you should follow me.
09:20I give daily lessons for free.
09:21Totally.
09:22That'd be good.
09:23Yeah, yeah.
09:24Let me see your phone.
09:26Right now?
09:26You want to see my phone?
09:27Yeah, yeah.
09:27I'll just, I'll, I'll type it in.
09:29Okay.
09:30Um.
09:31You're gonna love it.
09:32Cool.
09:34Go.
09:35Okay.
09:37The grifster.
09:39All right.
09:39There.
09:40You're following me.
09:42I almost have 500 followers.
09:44Wow.
09:44Oh, wow.
09:45You only have six.
09:47Oh.
09:48I'm, I'm gonna follow you back, okay?
09:49Social media is everything.
09:51Now, you, you really wanna up your game on here if you wanna start your own business.
09:54And I can totally help you.
09:55Oh, cool.
09:57That's, um.
09:59You know, I'm just gonna use the bathroom really quickly.
10:01But this is, this is great.
10:04You're welcome.
10:10Oh, my God.
10:12How's it going with the hot?
10:13Do you tell me everything?
10:14Oh, God.
10:15I wanna go home, Jane.
10:16Why?
10:17He was so cute.
10:18Correction.
10:19He's gorgeous.
10:20He just won't shut up.
10:21All he talks about are fucking deadlifts and kettlebells.
10:25He's a personal trainer trying to give me advice on how to start my own business.
10:27I can't take it.
10:28Okay, remember, it's a practice day just to get your feet wet.
10:31Don't take it so seriously.
10:32Oh, but he is so pretty.
10:34I mean, he put his hand on my back when we walked in and I literally shuddered.
10:37Like an electric jolt going up my spine.
10:40Whenever he reaches for anything, I can't help but stare at his arms.
10:43If he touches me at all, I am done.
10:48God, I just wanna, like, make out or something.
10:51I mean, I haven't made out in so fucking long, Jane.
10:53Okay, you realize you just did a full 180 on this guy in the time it took you to pee?
10:57It's so fucking hot.
10:58I just wish he'd stop talking.
11:00Well, he can't talk with your tongue down his throat.
11:02True, true, true.
11:04I like that idea.
11:07Oh, I loved the make out phase when Jim and I first started dating.
11:11You guys don't make out anymore?
11:12No, we do.
11:13Well, we kiss.
11:15Not really make out, no.
11:17Oh, shit.
11:18I gotta go.
11:19I don't want him to think I'm pooping.
11:20Happy making out.
11:21Alright, go make out with your husband.
11:22Yeah.
11:55Hey.
11:57Oh, hey.
11:59Perfect timing.
12:00Just finished.
12:03All your things.
12:08Why's it so dark in here?
12:19Waiting for one more?
12:21I was, but my friend, she got a flat tire.
12:24She drives a Prius.
12:26They have the worst tires, you know?
12:28Yeah.
12:29You know, it may just be me, unless she comes later, but I'm not holding my breath.
12:36Okay, I'll just take this out of the way.
12:38Can I get you anything to drink?
12:40Uh, kettle one martini, please.
12:42We were supposed to go out.
12:43That's why I'm wearing this dress.
12:46Okay.
12:47I like your dress.
12:49Be right back with your martini.
12:57Oh, here.
12:57Let me...
12:58Oh, thank you.
13:01It's okay.
13:01It's okay.
13:12Do you want me to give you a ride?
13:13Because I think, I think your bike could probably fit in my trunk.
13:16Of my car.
13:17If it could fit your bike in my car.
13:19Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:20That'd be great.
13:21Yeah, you know, I've already got my daily goal, so...
13:23Oh.
13:24Let me go take my tire off my bike and meet you outside.
13:26Okay.
13:41Oh.
14:20Hey.
14:24Hey, Mount Rolius did make out all the time.
14:32what you know we're first dating remember being in the car
14:40yeah
14:44you woke me up to ask me that no i just
14:50i don't know what i'm make out again like we used to
14:58right now yeah okay okay well let me let me go brush my teeth i think i was open mouth
15:07breathing
15:07okay you were but it wasn't that bad oh it's okay
15:11okay just do a quick brush okay come back
15:16okay
15:27what if we went out to the car to make out yeah you know like we used to in front
15:34of
15:34my parents house that was so hot we can't leave abby's sleeping
15:41let's take the monitor come on
15:45let's go
16:10did you get the pasta
16:13everybody raves about the pasta here that's what the waiter said to get something it's
16:17smart of you to listen because i got the steak and i gotta tell you it's not great
16:25you meeting someone my friend she she got a flat tire and we were supposed to go out afterwards
16:34why i am wearing a dress
16:37well you look stunning really stunning and don't let your friends stop you from going out because
16:45i think you probably make new friends wherever you go
16:50okay you're right to hell with her
16:57it kind of feels like we're already eating together would you care to join me come on you seem
17:03really sweet but i'm going to be honest with you i i'm not waiting for my friend i i just
17:10said that
17:10because well i'm i'm trying to eat by myself because my daughter she doesn't think i'm independent
17:16but thank you really it was nice to talk well i think you're doing just great and i will let
17:26you alone and leave you to it
17:28buon appetito
17:30thank you
17:48um thanks for the ride oh yeah no problem i had a lot of fun tonight me too
17:55god i got i gotta get you to come to a training session you just you're so
18:08do you want to come up
18:09uh um look i'm not sleeping with you okay okay
18:18but um we could go up and make out you want to do that
18:25okay i'm just kidding okay it's like feeling happy it's just there we are
18:36okay okay
18:41do we still listen to music i don't know
18:55oh my god this is really hot are you crossfitting me right now okay
19:04oh wait wait wait if you're on your period that's okay i've got dark sheets under here
19:09no no i'm not on my period but i just i just i thought we're just gonna make out you
19:14know
19:16okay we can do anything you're gonna go on a date like that it's like a mass debbie belt
19:23okay you you wouldn't care if i was on my period no really
19:33okay i'm not i'm not i'll get here
19:36i'm not here anyway
19:49you you really don't have any hair on your whole body
19:52lasered it all before the crossfade games last year prevents chafing i have got to get you to my gym
19:57you're gonna look so small
20:05what
20:15gene we have an entire house to make out in and we're sitting in our car
20:19in the garage and the baby monitors beeping this is silly
20:33come on let's go inside
20:47come on this is so cool i've never seen a hairy pussy in real life before i've only seen him
20:53in my
20:53dad's on the playbook shut up shut up
21:01uh
21:04uh
21:06uh
21:08uh
21:19Oh, my God.
21:54Oh, my God.
22:09Oh, my God.
22:33Hey, I found the pube.
22:53Oh, my God.
23:16Oh, my God.
23:21Hey, Mom.
23:22Hey, how was your date?
23:26What are you doing?
23:27Watching a lifetime movie.
23:29Babysitter's batshit crazy.
23:33Can I watch with you for a second?
23:34Of course.
23:46God, your bed is so uncomfortable.
23:48I told you.
23:50Oh, my God.
23:59I think I waited too long to get into all this.
24:02I have no idea what I'm doing, I have no idea what I'm doing, and apparently I'm old.
24:07If that's the case, we're both fucked.
24:12You just have to keep going.
24:15You have a lot of options on there, and any guy would be lucky to have you.
24:27Why is there a wet spot under my butt?
24:30Oh, my God.
24:37I was doing what you told me to, baby steps.
24:42I guess we're sleeping in your room tonight.
24:45Subscribe to YouTube Premium and binge all of Sideswiped to see what happens next.
24:51And I just saw a girl I want to holler at.
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