00:00and now from new york the jerry langford show with jerry's guests tony randall
00:25richard drafus rodney dangerfield dr joyce brothers little brown in the orchestra
00:32and little old me and hurley and now say hello to jerry
01:01thank you very much a pleasant good evening to you you look like a great audience louie
01:05how are you lou brown ladies and gentlemen and the marvelous franklin
01:12uh and ed how are you tonight very well jerry wonderful i'm sorry i woke you
01:18i shall adhere to your request sir
01:47i'm not going to give you anything else
01:48i just don't feel like wasting my time going there by myself together
01:51i am really good hello rupert hey rupert who'd you get nobody i got ronnie dangerfield richard harris
01:57i traded for barbara this way can you tell me thank you alan ola robin williams i give you
02:01all you want sydney i'm really not that interested it's not my whole life what's that supposed to
02:05mean that's my whole life mayor sydney's it's not my whole life that's not my whole life that's right
02:09it's not my whole life
02:39No! No!
02:42No!
02:46No!
02:47No!
02:49No!
02:49No!
02:50Stop shoving.
02:51We are sorry.
02:52Push me.
02:55Yeah.
02:57I'm not there.
02:58Take the game.
02:59No!
02:59No!
03:00No!
03:00No!
03:00No!
03:00No!
03:01No!
03:02No!
03:04No!
03:05No!
03:06No!
03:06No!
03:06No!
03:07No!
03:09No!
03:11No!
03:11No!
03:12No!
03:13No!
03:17I'm gonna love you.
03:20Like no one's love you.
03:24Come rain or come shine.
03:32High as a mountain.
03:36Deep as a river, come rain or come shine.
03:48I guess when you met me, it was just one of those things.
04:04But don't ever bet me
04:09Cause I'm gonna be true
04:13Well, if you let me
04:19You're gonna love me
04:23Like nobody's loved me
04:26Come rain up, come shine
04:35Happy together
04:39Unhappy together
04:41And wouldn't it be fine
04:50Hey, it made me cry
04:53I'm sunny
04:58We're in our yard of the money
05:02Yeah
05:06I'm with you always
05:12I'm with you, Ray
05:18Washer, yeah
05:46Okay, stand back
05:48Stand back
05:49Please let Mr. Langford get some air
05:52Come on
05:57Come on
05:59Come on
06:03Come on
06:03Come on
06:19Hey, this is not the time
06:20If we could just drive away
06:21You could drop me off anywhere
06:23If I could just talk to you
06:24I would drive
06:24Drive away?
06:25No, I have a very strict rule
06:26About people getting in the car
06:27I hate to put yourself
06:28Mr. Langford
06:29I don't mean to be rude
06:30But I did put myself on a knife
06:32Go ahead, Harvey
06:33Hit it
06:42Here
06:44Here
06:45Thanks
06:47Is that your initials?
06:49Yeah
06:52I just want to tell you, Jerry
06:53My name is Rupert Pupkin
06:55And I know the name doesn't mean very much to you
06:57But it means an awful lot to me
06:59And
07:02Billy
07:03Calm down
07:03Calm down
07:04Take your time
07:05I'm nervous
07:07You might have wondered who I am
07:08I've been outside your show many, many times
07:10And
07:11Well
07:11You know
07:12I'm in communications right now
07:14But by nature
07:14This is the point I'm trying to make
07:15By nature
07:16I'm a comedian, you know
07:17No, no
07:18I know what you're going to say
07:18I don't know another one
07:19But believe me, Jerry
07:21I'm very good
07:21I'm really good
07:22I'm dynamite
07:23And I wouldn't go through this
07:23I wouldn't take one minute of your time
07:25If I wasn't absolutely convinced
07:26That I'm dynamite
07:27I said, you're probably wondering now
07:28Yeah, if he's so good
07:29Then how come he hasn't caught my act somewhere, right?
07:31Well, that's a very good question
07:32And I'm willing to answer it
07:33And I'll tell you why
07:34You know why?
07:35See, up to now
07:36I've been biding my time
07:37Slowly and carefully
07:39Slowly and carefully
07:40So that when my big break finally came
07:41You know, like the night you were Jack Parr
07:43When Jack Parr got sick
07:44Your big break
07:44That was the night that convinced me
07:46That I wanted to be a comedian
07:48I walked out of that show
07:49Like I was in a dream, you know
07:50And then after that
07:51I started catching all your guest appearances
07:53On Sullivan
07:54I studied everything that you ever did
07:55I studied the way you built your one line
07:57It was nice and relaxed
07:58How you delivered the jokes
08:00Without leaning too much on them
08:01How you didn't say
08:03Hey, folks, here's the punchline
08:04You know?
08:06You know, Jerry?
08:07You know what I'm talking about?
08:07You don't say, folks
08:08Here's the punchline
08:09You just do the punchline
08:11Exactly
08:12Exactly
08:12That's what I loved about what you did
08:14So what I'm trying to say is that
08:16You see, now I'm ready
08:17I'm ready
08:18And I've finished the course
08:20And I'm thinking as I'm sitting here now
08:23Well, maybe this is my big break
08:24This is my big chance
08:26You know what I mean?
08:29What do you think?
08:35Look, what did you say your name was?
08:36Rupert
08:36The name is Rupert Popkin
08:37All right, look, pal
08:39I've got to tell you
08:41This is a crazy business
08:42But it's not unlike any other business
08:43There are ground rules
08:45And you don't just walk on to a network show
08:48Without experience
08:49Now, I know it's an old hackneyed expression
08:51But it happens to be the truth
08:53You've got to start at the bottom
08:54I know
08:55That's where I am
08:55At the bottom
08:56That's a perfect place to start
08:58I know that
08:59But I'm not
09:00There's got to be a
09:01But it looks so simple
09:02To the viewer at home
09:03Yeah, yeah
09:04Those things that come so easily
09:06That are so relaxed
09:07And look like it's a matter
09:08Of just taking another breath
09:09It takes years and years and years
09:12Of honing that and working it
09:14And the experience
09:14There's only one problem
09:15I don't mean to interrupt you
09:16But there's only one problem
09:17I'm 34 years old
09:18That's why I'm asking
09:19If you just listen
09:20I'm asking if you listen to my act
09:22That's all
09:22If you listen to my act
09:23Then tell me what you think about it
09:24I'll tell you what
09:25Why don't you call my office
09:27All right, okay
09:28I could do it
09:28You ask for Kathy Long
09:29Terrific
09:30She's my secretary
09:31And we'll make time
09:32To listen to what you're talking about
09:34You know how many times
09:35I had this conversation in my head
09:37This is beautiful
09:37Did it always turn out this way?
09:39Yeah, it did
09:42I really believe this
09:43I think once you get over
09:44The initial shyness
09:45You're going to be okay
09:46Yeah?
09:47Yeah
09:49Hope it works out for you
09:51Thanks, Jerry
09:51Thanks a lot
09:53It's a pleasure meeting you, Jerry
09:55Jerry
09:57I'm a little short on cash
09:58But if you don't mind
09:59Just appetizers
10:00I'd love to take you to dinner sometime
10:01Well, I got some people waiting for me
10:03I really don't know
10:03What my schedule is
10:04Maybe we can
10:04Okay
10:05Thanks, Jerry
10:06Thanks
10:07Jerry
10:08Jerry
10:08Let me show you a picture
10:09Of my pride and joy
10:14That's good
10:14That's good, isn't it?
10:15Yeah, it is
10:16That's good
10:16Hey, Jerry, take it
10:19Take it
10:20Go ahead, take it
10:21Consider it a gift
10:22It'll work for you
10:25I will
10:25Not that you need the help
10:28Jerry
10:28Seriously, you ever want lunch?
10:30My treat
10:33Call my office
10:34Okay, okay, okay
10:35Okay
10:36Jerry, you're a prince
10:52Hey, Ru, before I forget
10:54I really appreciate you meeting me for lunch
10:57I know how busy you are
10:58And how tired you are
11:01What are friends for, Jerry?
11:07Talking about schedule
11:08You're the one who looks tired
11:09Yeah, I know
11:10It's the show
11:13The pressure, the ratings
11:16Same guests
11:16Same questions
11:20I'm just not enjoying it anymore
11:23That's the worst
11:27Listen, I
11:29I really wish you would think about it again
11:31Okay
11:33He's starting again
11:35He's starting up again
11:36Hey, it's not that big a deal to think
11:37I'm asking you to just think
11:39I'm thinking
11:39You're always telling me to think
11:41That's all I do
11:41Is think day and night about it
11:42How can I not think about it?
11:44I mean, I've been sitting here at lunch with you
11:45Which I knew is the reason you invited me for in the first place
11:48And all I'm sitting here and eating for
11:50Is to get guilty with you, right?
11:51I'm asking you to take over the show for six weeks
11:54I mean, what's six weeks?
11:56I'll give you anything
11:57But don't ask me to do six weeks
11:59I can't take over the show for six weeks
12:01I can't even take over my own life for six weeks
12:03And you're asking me to do something that's impossible
12:06It's impossible
12:08Don't you understand
12:09Who first?
12:09What?
12:10What are you doing down there so late?
12:13It's impossible
12:13I'm trying to tell you that
12:15What do you want?
12:16You want the tears to come out of my eyes?
12:18There's got to be a way you can work it up
12:20It's just six weeks
12:21Excuse me, um, Mr. Pumpkin
12:23Do you think you could...
12:25Yeah
12:26Sure
12:26What's your name, dear?
12:28Dolores
12:29Dolores?
12:29That was my father's name
12:32To Dolores
12:33Who sensed greatness
12:38There you go, sweetheart
12:41Thanks, Mr. Pumpkin
12:42Don't mess up
12:44Rupert
12:45Rupert
12:46Who are you talking to?
12:48Mom
12:48What is it?
12:50Please
12:50Stop calling me
12:58It's terrific
12:59It's great
12:59There's only one problem
13:02He made
13:03He made you bigger
13:04Will you give me an answer?
13:06All right
13:06You got the six weeks
13:08I'll give you the six weeks
13:09Don't bother me
13:10I'll give you the six weeks
13:11What can I say?
13:12You happy now?
13:13You're a tough man, Rupert
13:15Well, you gotta be in this business
13:18Ha ha ha ha ha
13:19Ha ha ha ha ha
13:20Ha ha ha ha ha
13:22Ha ha ha ha ha
13:50Don't bother me
14:00Hello.
14:01Hello. It's Marsha, Jerry.
14:03Did you get my note?
14:04Who is this?
14:05It's Marsha. Did you get the note?
14:07I left it on the back seat.
14:08I dropped it there before they dragged me out of the car.
14:12You know, those guys really hurt me, Jerry.
14:13I think I was a bit much. I really do.
14:15How did you get this number?
14:17Don't be angry with me, Jerry.
14:19I said, how did you get this number?
14:20I don't know what else to do. I've been trying to call you.
14:45I don't know what else to do.
15:03How have you been, Rita?
15:07Do I know you?
15:08I think you might.
15:16Rupert.
15:17Rupert Pupkin, right?
15:19Right.
15:21I brought you a little present.
15:25Oh, yeah. I remember.
15:27Mr. Romance.
15:31Put an aspirin in that. It'll last longer.
15:36So, what are you up to these days?
15:39You're looking as beautiful as ever, Rita.
15:42Here I am. Local cheerleader makes good.
15:45You know, it's funny, but I, I, uh, I voted for you, most beautiful.
15:50Oh, did you?
15:51Yes.
15:51Oh, sweet.
15:52And I didn't have the nerve to tell you then, but I guess now it's okay.
15:55Yeah, now you can tell me it's okay. We're both adults.
15:58Isn't that funny, though? You know, when you're younger, you're afraid to say those things,
16:02but when you get older, 15, 20 years later, you can say all those things that you should
16:06have said 15, 20 years ago. Isn't that the final irony of life? Isn't it?
16:12I guess.
16:17Are you happy in this place, Rita?
16:19You got something better?
16:20Maybe.
16:21Oh, really? Like what?
16:22Well, what are you doing tonight?
16:24What am I doing tonight?
16:26Yeah. What's so funny?
16:28Don't you think it's a little late?
16:45Oh, shit.
16:53Bye.
16:54Bye.
17:01Bye.
17:02Bye.
Comments