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Half.Man.S01E01.540p.X265.AAC [Full Movie] [Latest Version]Full EP - Full
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Oh
00:53I'm not speaking about this.
00:58You don't have to speak.
01:00You have to listen.
01:03Really?
01:06You picked today.
01:09My fucking wedding.
01:16Come on, Truman, stop messing.
01:21Put your top back on.
01:34Oh, for fuck's sake.
01:45Oh, Niall.
01:53Come here.
01:55Come here.
02:02I'm proud of you, yeah?
02:05You know that?
02:13You look gorgeous, so you do.
02:15I tell you, if I wasn't family, I'd get up and underneath that kilt right away.
02:20No, Ruben, don't.
02:21What?
02:22I tell you, you look gorgeous.
02:24Come on, show me.
02:24There's nothing to show, Ruben.
02:25I've got boxes on underneath, for Christ's sake.
02:27Oh, boxers.
02:28Stop teasing me, you little mate.
02:33Hey.
02:34Yeah.
02:35Come here, look at me.
02:36Look at me.
02:38That's it.
02:41Look at me.
02:44We may not flow through each other's veins, but we flow through each other's brains, you
02:49get me?
02:50Please, I don't think that...
02:50One more time, eh?
02:52For all time's sake.
02:54I just need to hear it.
02:57Before I lose you forever.
02:58You're not serious.
03:01Go on.
03:02Say it.
03:03What am I?
03:08Your brother from...
03:16You're not a lover.
03:21You're not a lover.
03:23Beautiful.
03:52Come on, give us your bag.
03:54Come on, give us your bag.
04:04What is this now?
04:06Oh, fucking stickers.
04:09Indiana Jones.
04:12That film is gay as fuck.
04:14I'm gonna have these.
04:16No, please, Gus.
04:20You can keep one.
04:21Okay.
04:23I'm not on one star.
04:25Pick one.
04:29Second to last.
04:30Good.
04:32Oh
04:52Open up
05:01Degenerate settle down settle down
05:06Right as we know the prelim exams start this week
05:10Are we aware of how important they are?
05:16Prelims are your safety net for whatever reason you missed your finals you get hit by a bus you come
05:22down with a bubonic plague
05:24These exams are your get out of jail with an appeals card
05:28Have I emphasized their importance enough?
05:34Positively spellbinding
05:37Right moving on. I should probably make you aware that a new student will be joining the class from tomorrow
05:43one Ruben Pallister
05:46What
05:49Some of them are Kennedy no, no, it's just
05:54Did you just say
05:56Ruben Pallister
05:58That's right
05:59A new pupil you can show off your sparkling personality to
06:04Ruben will be transferring from polmont young offenders institute and we'll be resitting two years which means he'll be a
06:11little more feral than the rest of you
06:13Any questions
06:17Nobody
06:17Nobody
06:18Good
06:18Open your jars we'll pick up where we left off yesterday
06:22Page 16
06:26Kennedy
06:27Did you listen to what I just said?
06:30What?
06:30Yeah, of course
06:33What did I just say then?
06:37Ruben's back
06:50Mum, it's Niall
06:52Honey, I'm working, what is it?
06:53It's Ruben, he's out, he's coming to school
06:55Look, now is not the time, alright?
06:57He's not staying with us, is he?
06:58We can talk about this when I pick you up
07:00But Mum
07:20You should have said about her then
07:22Don't piss yourself
07:23You're a 15 year old boy
07:26Given your life I don't need to give you respect
07:33Look, I'm sorry, okay? I should have told you
07:37And keep him with the theme of surprises
07:39He's moved into your room
07:42What?
07:42No way
07:43What did you think that second bed was for?
07:44We were almost begging you to ask
07:46I thought it was for guests
07:47He is a guest
07:48No, he's not
07:49He's a psycho
07:50He bit someone's nose off
07:51I've seen the guy too
07:52It's horrible
07:53His wife left him and everything
08:03Look, you're not to talk about this, okay?
08:05Nobody in this town knows about that
08:07The last thing that boy needs is folk whispering
08:09Don't bite people's noses off then
08:11No, shh
08:11You're not to speak this way in front tomorrow, alright?
08:13Oh, you always put her first
08:14She was only supposed to be living with us for six months
08:17And now her kid is moving in
08:18Come on, Mum
08:19He's a psycho
08:20Her son getting out is a big deal
08:22He's been away for two years
08:24For Christ's sake
08:25This is happening, Niall
08:27So get used to it
08:50He's lost in the chat
09:16He's stayed in front of us for 10 months
09:17And now, he says, oh
09:22Remember me, Bambi?
09:24Last time I saw you, you were about yay high.
09:33Grown at least two feet since then, maybe more.
09:36You've got the exact same size head, though.
09:39Creeping me out a bit.
09:46Are you helping or what?
09:48We can't have this shit up.
09:50No more for bringing Buds home.
09:52Yeah.
09:56Get to it then, Bambi.
09:58Grab a bag, get stuff in.
10:07Yeah.
10:08Take that poster down and put this up.
10:26Put it up then, you dick.
10:54What the fuck are you staring at?
10:58What?
11:00Nothing.
11:26Looks like Pallister's a no-show.
11:29Off to a great start.
11:31All right, everyone, open your jotters.
11:33We'll pick up from yesterday.
11:39Right, what's going on here?
11:50Kennedy.
11:52Open your jotter.
11:55No.
11:57Open, boy.
12:06Who did this?
12:08Oh, no, come on.
12:09Come on.
12:14Me, sir.
12:15Me, sir.
12:15You?
12:16You called your own mum a dyke?
12:18No, I called someone else's mum a dyke.
12:21Really?
12:22I know firsthand from your essays.
12:24I know firsthand from your essays.
12:24Your grasp of irony isn't that strong.
12:27So come on.
12:29Who did this?
12:34My mum is not a lesbian.
12:36I beg your pardon?
12:37I said my mum is not a fucking lesbian.
12:44Come with me.
12:45Go off me, you nods.
12:47What did you say?
12:48Like to touch young boys, do you?
12:50You fucking old poof.
12:53I'm just wondering if there's something else we should be worrying about.
12:56What are you insinuating?
12:57All I'm saying is I've seen a change in Niall recently.
13:00And what change is that, then?
13:01He's gone from being a committed, gifted student to one that acts out in most lessons.
13:05Sir, go on.
13:06I know you want to.
13:07We have to call into question Niall's rather unusual state of affairs at home.
13:10You don't know anything about my damn home.
13:28You fucking fucking bastard, man!
13:35Oi, Ruth!
13:37I know you're up there!
13:38What?
13:40I've seen about.
13:41I am what?
13:43Okay, reason!
13:45Is that your dad?
13:46Shut the fuck up.
13:47I'll wait, no conserver!
13:53You're not a muck.
13:55I'm not these fucking muck.
13:57You get down here and explain why you stay with that dite!
14:03And not me!
14:05You've been...
14:06Son.
14:07Let's start again, eh?
14:09I think you'll give your old man a big hug, eh?
14:15I don't think I can't see you, boy!
14:18I see you by the fucking collar we've learned before!
14:22I'll get... I'll get mum.
14:23I'll be with a bitch!
14:25We're in a...
14:25Don't shoot her.
14:27Fucking deal.
14:29I don't know.
14:31I don't know.
14:32I don't know.
14:32I don't know.
14:35I don't know.
14:37I don't know.
14:38I don't know.
14:40I don't know.
14:41I don't know.
14:41You don't tell anyone about this.
14:44They understand.
14:45This never happened.
14:46I don't know.
14:47I don't know.
15:03I don't know.
15:15I don't know.
15:59I don't know.
16:05I don't know.
16:15So, boys, I am not sure whether you heard all that commotion last night.
16:28Now we were asleep, both of us.
16:34Oh, right. Well, that's okay, then. Ignore me.
16:37I don't know.
16:59What the fuck are you staring at?
17:02Just seeing if you're all right.
17:04Why wouldn't I be?
17:05It's just last night.
17:06Fuck last night.
17:08Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Fuck last night.
17:18So are you nervous, or...?
17:20How the fuck would I be nervous?
17:21Well, first day of school.
17:23This is Dal Kenny. It's where the fairies go.
17:25Oi! Soft cock!
17:27Are you a boyfriend?
17:30Ignore them.
17:32These guys bothering you, Bambi?
17:33Nah, it's just banter.
17:35Big up the Amun, dear, you little faggot!
17:38Great banter.
17:42These guys bothering you, Bambi?
17:46I'll ask you again.
17:48Are these guys bothering you?
18:00Is that a knife?
18:01Go to school.
18:02What?
18:02Go to school. You're not a witness if you don't see what happens.
18:04Look, I...
18:05Just fucking go!
18:06Go to school.
18:40And at the heart of this relentless conflict...
18:43Lies a love story.
18:47Ah, Mr. Pallister.
18:49Nice of you to fit us into your busy schedule.
18:52Boys and girls, this is Ruben.
18:54Ruben will be joining us from now on.
18:58Where's your school uniform?
19:00On your mother's floor.
19:03That's enough, everyone.
19:06Disc at the back.
19:10And for the record, my mum's dead.
19:12So extra points for nihilism.
19:20Right.
19:21As I was saying,
19:22two households,
19:23like families.
19:25Both,
19:26in a better view.
19:27Do you know who is...
19:27That's enough.
19:32This isn't true.
19:36No?
19:36No.
19:40No.
19:46No.
19:54I feel like a guy's dead.
19:54No.
19:56No.
19:56I feel like a man's dead.
20:00You've been working out, Niall?
20:02Certainly has.
20:04There's only an inch of space when I cut my hand around his bicep.
20:07Used to be at least two, three maybe.
20:09I'm going to my room.
20:10No, don't.
20:13Sit down, you little killjoy.
20:24We need you to persuade Rabin to go to the exam tomorrow.
20:27What? No way.
20:28Niall, please.
20:30Do this for us.
20:31What are you doing?
20:34Stop that, I'm not a kid.
20:35That's exactly what you are.
20:37Off me.
20:37Oh, come on.
20:38Do this for me.
20:39Go on, go on.
20:40Niall, I need you to do this.
20:42Come on.
20:43Please.
20:43Come on, just this one thing.
20:46Oh, please.
20:47I said go on me.
20:57I'll take it from you.
21:08Okay.
21:11That's...
21:12You've got a fairly sizable nice fire in the airport.
21:17She's making all the effort in the world.
21:18I don't care.
21:20We're not friends.
21:21We never will be.
21:23Come on.
21:24Fancy the pants off of her when you were a wee in.
21:27Remember the love letters we'd send to her house on Valentine's Day?
21:34Fine.
21:35I don't know.
21:35Playtime's over.
21:40Luke, will you speak to him at least?
21:41No.
21:42No, he's terrifying.
21:43Oh, come on, Niall.
21:45You wouldn't believe how hard Maura had to work to get Ruben into Dalkenny.
21:49She changed her postcodes and everything.
21:52He's on probation too, so he needs to show up and pass this prelim, for the school will kick him
21:56out.
21:59He'll be back.
22:10He's on probation.
22:12Come on.
22:15Come on.
22:18You fuck?
22:34Things got affected to what I never said
22:36Till my mouth becomes dead
22:37Which ain't not all that clever
22:43And it's not saying one thing
22:45No, not another, rather
22:47Neither is it anything I haven't said
22:49What ever
22:54What's just eat?
22:55What, what do you mean?
22:56Am I speaking foreign?
22:57Dance, I'm sorry, dance
22:58You tell anyone about this I will put you to sleep
23:01Do you understand?
23:01I won't
23:02I mean, I thought it was great
23:04I thought it was great
23:06I don't
23:07Knocked me down with a feather
23:10Clever
23:29What do you want?
23:32Just a quick something
23:33That's come to me
23:35Just now
23:35In the moment
23:39I was thinking about the exam tomorrow
23:41Fuck off
23:42Right you are
23:57You're dead
24:09You're dead
24:18What about him?
24:21How old were you again?
24:26I was eight
24:28When I died
24:32What did he do again?
24:39He was a writer
24:42I don't remember that
24:45Well he worked in a pub mainly
24:47But he wanted to be a writer
24:50And what did he write about?
24:55Working in a pub
25:04He was really good though
25:06I've read all his stuff
25:08He was so close to getting published in the end
25:10What stopped him?
25:13Well
25:15Death
25:29That's why I want to give it a shot myself
25:31You know
25:32You're right too
25:33I keep a diary
25:36That doesn't count
25:37Try sending that to Anne Frank
25:38Who?
25:41No
25:41She was just
25:45It doesn't matter
25:56What happened to Gus?
26:02He'll survive
26:06I just thought with
26:09The knife you'd done something
26:10You know
26:13Really bad
26:15Almost did
26:17And I'm up against the wall with it
26:19Guppy and like mad
26:22Whispered
26:22It'll be over soon
26:25So he thought for a second
26:26I was going to stick it in him proper
26:29It'll be over soon
26:34I love seeing that
26:37You really get a sense of what a cunt looks like
26:39When they think they're going to die
26:42You're sort of infant
26:43You're sort of infant like
26:44He's all innocent and shit
26:45It's weird
26:48It'll be over soon
27:00Night
27:01Night
27:19tell us where Gus is. I don't know. We know you live with an inbred prick. You're bound
27:23to say something. We don't talk.
27:27Oi!
27:42Leave me alone.
27:49...
27:53...
27:54I don't know.
28:40Let's smoke this, son of a bitch!
28:42Woo! Woo!
28:44Come on! Come on!
28:45Pallister, nice of you to join.
28:47Please refrain from shouting out.
28:49It's only prelims. Where am I sitting?
28:51There's an empty chair there, two rows along.
28:54Please move quietly.
28:55Pallister, nice of you to play.
28:56Pallister, nice of you to play.
29:13Pallister, nice of you to play.
29:39All right, guys. We have ten minutes left.
29:42Ten minutes? Get fucked.
29:43Language, Pallister.
29:45I started later than everyone.
29:46Well, I'm afraid the onus is on you there.
29:48Piss off, Jenkins.
29:49I shagged your mum in a row.
29:53Pallister, get back here.
29:56Pallister, don't you walk away from me, son.
29:59Oi, I'm speaking to you.
30:01I'm speaking to you.
30:02I'm speaking to you.
30:08Hey!
30:31All right, guys, not long now.
30:58All right, guys.
31:14All right, guys.
31:16The school fund.
31:18Oh, Jesus.
31:20What now?
31:21Reuben passed.
31:23He passed the prelim.
31:26He can stay in school now.
31:29Oh, really?
31:31Yeah.
31:34You helped him, didn't you?
31:36Oh, no, I...
31:38Last night, I heard you talking.
31:45I mean that.
31:49I know we haven't always seen eye to eye.
31:52Mainly because you're a little brat who blames me for everything.
31:56I do think you could be a positive influence on my boy.
32:03Thanks.
32:06I think.
32:14No, that feels weird.
32:18Let's never do that again.
32:31Let's never do that again.
32:50I've got to keep it down.
32:51Bambi's sleeping.
32:52Mm-hmm.
32:53Mm-hmm.
32:57Mm-hmm.
32:58Mm-hmm.
32:59Mm-hmm.
33:02Mm-hmm.
33:03Isn't it a bit weird doing this with a wee Nile in the room?
33:06No, I don't care.
33:07Yeah.
33:07I passed the prelims today and I did it in a speck at the time every other fucker.
33:11Stop it, Ruben.
33:12If I swear anymore, I'm gonna put my back out.
33:14Mm-hmm.
33:15Shh.
33:15I don't.
33:16I thought you said you didn't care about him hearing.
33:18I don't.
33:19I just don't want my mum rubbing one out all week.
33:23Yeah.
33:24TV's off.
33:25I'm gonna feel your skin.
33:27Oh, baby.
33:28Mm-hmm.
33:47Get a hear, hear.
34:09caught you niall kennedy what no i was sleeping fuck off we saw you i wasn't i was sleeping liar
34:15at least admit it you little screw you were perving pervy little niall kennedy eh so tell me
34:26did you see anything that you liked
34:33quite something huh is this the first time you've seen a naked woman
34:40in the flesh
34:41and what do you think
34:47she
34:49she looks what would you do to her now if you could have your way
34:56go on
34:57i would i would i'd i'd ask her for her permission obviously
35:04fucking loser aren't you bambi touch my breath niall
35:23yeah let's see how he's getting on shall we what no no no wait wait wait wait no no no
35:28no that's
35:28fine bambi just relax okay let her do her thing
35:48wow nothing what's going on you got something against mona is it my boobs
35:53what no no it's just this isn't how i pictured it how does your picture it then more than one
35:59woman
36:01that's it isn't it niall here loves grip sex no no i don't
36:06well little niall kennedy loves a bit of group sex
36:10well i could assume different characters if you like
36:14i could be uh candy blonde bombshell who lives next door
36:19or i could be a svetlana russian warrior of the north
36:27she's incredible isn't she now there's something to keep her
36:30uh-uh svetlana is kept by no one
36:34how's he getting on now then come on son
36:38i i got full marks on my standard grades back in the day niall
36:41i know you love a nerd
36:46here just focus on how things feel give me your finger
37:02oh hello here we go my man you ready
37:15oh
37:32that's it that's it easy boy easy steady steady
37:41truck don't gallop
37:46oh wow he's a grower young niall
37:57sorry back you go mister no no no no stop fighting you let her do her thing
38:03yeah i'll hold that i'll pray what
38:16hold this hold
38:20hold
38:21further my rhythm
38:42wow he's really going for a night
39:00oh
39:01oh
39:09For fuck's sake, did you just call me me?
39:13You fucking did, you mink!
39:15Oh no, put my feet at all.
39:16Now, son, you need to pull out.
39:18For fuck's sake, I better not be pregnant.
39:20I'm sorry, I didn't mean to.
39:21It just came out of nowhere.
39:23Relax, son, it's fine.
39:25But, I mean, like, what happens now?
39:28Will I get the virus?
39:32What?
39:36Do you mean AIDS?
39:52Lie back, you daft cunt.
40:00So...
40:02Is that it, then?
40:05That's it, Bambi.
40:18That's it, Bambi.
40:54I was just thinking...
40:56Do you have any hash?
41:06We can bake Niall Kennedy.
41:09Dark horse, my man!
41:18Niall Kennedy, eh?
41:20Sex code.
41:22Drug fiend.
41:23Drug fiend.
41:23что- Pacific.
41:24ок No T 사 в заalпó.
41:43I don't like it.
41:43Oh, like it has, as mean...
41:44Oh!
41:44The pen in peace so I'm � out.
41:44It don't be so much.
41:45What's-It is next?
41:45You gotned?
41:47Social media shows...
41:47the fall part of today.
41:49I don't like it.
42:14Well, I get the virus.
42:18Oh, I feel like an idiot.
42:22No, you're good.
42:26I know what you did.
42:29As in?
42:31You got him.
42:33Oh.
42:38I've never seen her look at me like that before.
42:42I've seen her cry loads.
42:47You know, but...
42:53I like this.
42:55It works.
43:03What did you make of Mona then?
43:05Yeah, I liked her.
43:07Yeah, you fucking did.
43:09You can thank me when you're ready.
43:13Someone had to lose your virginity for you, didn't they?
43:17Oh, come on.
43:18You didn't think that was chance, did you?
43:22There's no way a lassie would take time out from sleeping with me
43:25to sleep with you.
43:27I set it up.
43:29My way of saying thanks.
43:36Well...
43:36So, come on.
43:38Tell me you loved it.
43:42I loved it.
43:45Yeah, you did.
43:49I should run a brothel or something.
43:51I'm like...
43:52the Pied Piper...
43:54of pussy.
43:56Oooa.
44:07Ooh!
44:15A.
44:16A.
44:16A-
44:17A-
44:17A-
44:17A-
44:17A-
44:17A-
44:17A-
44:17A-
44:19A-
44:19A-
44:19A-
44:21A
44:22A-
44:23A-
44:34Look at the pine piper I'm busy.
44:39I'm imagining these massive vaginas with legs falling around.
44:51Hang on, Papi.
45:16Can I ask you something?
45:22Around Mum's, you know.
45:26Fuck him.
45:31Yeah, afraid so.
45:36Does it bother you or something?
45:40No. No, not really.
45:43As long as they're happy, I guess.
45:47Although they don't seem all that happy.
45:55There's a lot you don't know about.
46:10Here.
46:12Got you something.
46:20I'm gonna train you.
46:22Just in case something happens to me, I need to know you'll look after yourself.
46:28Why do you care?
46:32We're family now.
46:35It's the most important thing.
46:39My brother.
46:41If I'm another lover.
46:48Come on, boys.
46:49School.
46:51Bring those friend bags down while you're at it.
46:56This is gonna be some morning.
46:58We'll be floating to school after all that.
47:05Hey.
47:09You've got nothing to worry about with our mums.
47:12Ten years time, you'll be at a party somewhere and realise it makes you more interesting.
47:23We have members.
47:25We have members.
47:54Anyway,
48:03You ain't got nothing to worry about just cause I ain't never had no nothing worth having never ever never
48:06ever.
48:12You ain't gotten a call not to think of what I'm falling to thinking I ain't too clever.
48:18Clever
48:23And it ain't not having one thing
48:24Nor not another
48:25Rather neither is it anything
48:28Whatever
48:33And it's not, not knowing
48:35That there ain't nothing showing
48:36In the eyes of the name
48:38Of Trevor
48:41However
48:46Knocked me down
48:48With a feather
48:50Clever, Trevor
48:56Why browse
48:58Wonder whether
49:00Clever, Trevor's
49:02Clever
49:05No, neither
49:06Haven't not got
49:08No right to make a clock
49:10Out of Trevor
49:39No right to make a clock
50:00One more Bambi
50:02Here
50:03Have a sip
50:15Hey
50:16Easy
50:17Sip
50:18Don't chug
50:19Come on
50:21That's it
50:31Jesus
50:33You're dripping
50:37Let's fill this out
50:40We're gonna stay here
50:42All right
50:44Hey, it's gonna be okay
50:47Hey
50:48You're gonna be fine
50:51Hey
50:51Hey, it's gonna be all right
50:53Don't
50:54Hey
50:54Come on
50:55Nile
50:56Please
50:57No
50:57Please
50:57Hey, hey
50:59Hey, settle
50:59Settle
50:59Settle
51:01Settle
51:02No, no, no, no
51:03Settle
51:04Settle
51:04Just breathe
51:04Hey
51:05Hey
51:06It's fine
51:07No, it's fine
51:09Just settle a bit
51:10Settle
51:12Here
51:12Here
51:13Follow my breath
51:19There's no following my breath
51:21I can't
51:22Follow it
51:22I can't
51:23Try it
51:23Yes, you can
51:24You fucking can
51:25Come on
51:25Come on
51:26Follow it
51:49Hey
51:50See
51:56I said go with it
51:57Go with it
51:58No, no, no
52:00That's it
52:00That's it
52:01That's it, boy
52:01Just breathe
52:04Okay
52:04I'm here
52:05Just keep breathing
52:10That's it
52:12That's it
52:12That's it, boy
52:15Don't worry
52:18It'll be over soon
52:29I'll be over soon
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