- 14 hours ago
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00:05I'll fucking kill you.
00:00:11I got you something.
00:00:12Tear.
00:00:13Does he still help everything?
00:00:14He does his best.
00:00:15My grandma was diagnosed with leukemia.
00:00:17I discovered a cure.
00:00:18They laughed at me.
00:00:20Fuck them.
00:00:21Oh.
00:00:22What's that smell?
00:00:24That soldier boy.
00:00:25I can smell him all over you.
00:00:26Where's more?
00:00:27He just disappears every afternoon.
00:00:28Won't say where he's going.
00:00:29Won't say shit.
00:00:30I trusted you.
00:00:31Are you still buzzed about me bringing in Stan Edgar?
00:00:33I thought we were friends.
00:00:34I knew you'd win from Homelander.
00:00:36Edgar was hit.
00:00:36We get the V1 first.
00:00:38We save Annie.
00:00:38We save Kimiko.
00:00:39Homelander gets it.
00:00:40He's immortal.
00:00:40Punch luck at bleeding sledgehammer.
00:00:42Lot of dice for fucking smack.
00:00:44Bombside.
00:00:45It's enriched your radio.
00:00:46Good luck getting out of a soup-proof cell
00:00:48while you're bleeding out of your ass.
00:00:50The V1 wasn't here.
00:00:52Just fucking do it already.
00:00:54I was visited by an angel.
00:00:56Today, we commit ourselves to a divine rebranding.
00:01:00I am the Messiah.
00:01:02The Democratic Church of America!
00:01:05Let's go!
00:01:09They're up before dawn.
00:01:11They got a thousand heads of cattle to herd.
00:01:14It's hard work and strong coffee.
00:01:17Old leather saddles and the worn stock of a trusty Remington.
00:01:22And when the sun finally rises over the range, the cowboys know America is God's country.
00:01:30And Americans, God's chosen people.
00:01:33So shouldn't we have our own church for Americans?
00:01:36With American grit and American values founded by the greatest American of us all?
00:01:42A true American prophet?
00:01:44Come home to the Democratic Church of America.
00:01:48Come home to Homelander.
00:01:51Already, the campaign's aided awareness outpaces the norm by plus 22 points.
00:01:57Led by white men and women ages 36 to 54 and 55 to 72.
00:02:03We are also seeing massive growth on the ground level.
00:02:07Yeah?
00:02:08I'm seeing massive growth myself.
00:02:13Church attendance is up.
00:02:16And our online donation CTR is at 44%.
00:02:19That's a new record.
00:02:20Amen.
00:02:20Amen.
00:02:22Next up is a 500 million ad blitz with OOH, e-blasts, print and digital.
00:02:30Ain't nobody won't know about the Democratic Church of America and its chosen prophet.
00:02:41Prophets are servants.
00:02:43Of course.
00:02:45Sir, great point.
00:02:47We're just trying to ease people into it.
00:02:49No, no, no.
00:02:50We need to prepare America for my ascension.
00:02:55We must be honest.
00:02:56We must be direct.
00:02:58I like savior.
00:03:00Or...
00:03:00Lord.
00:03:02Yes, I couldn't agree more, sir.
00:03:04Religion is not about being meek.
00:03:07We should dominate the seven mountains of society.
00:03:11Bring the kingdom of heaven to earth.
00:03:13Amen.
00:03:14Amen.
00:03:14I love all that.
00:03:16So fucking dope.
00:03:17Easter is just around the corner.
00:03:19How perfect would it be for your second coming to come on the day of Jesus' resurrection?
00:03:26Second coming?
00:03:27Let's be clear.
00:03:28I am not the son of God.
00:03:32Well, of course.
00:03:34Many people believe that Jesus is both God incarnate and the son.
00:03:38Well, that's just confusing.
00:03:39I don't want my church getting involved in all that.
00:03:43Exactly.
00:03:44Besides, if we pull up our timeline, you won't have this.
00:04:01We gonna drag our feet because of a book?
00:04:03Not a book.
00:04:06The book.
00:04:07The Homelander Bible.
00:04:14Heavy.
00:04:17It's got the Old Testament, the New Testament, and the brand new American Testament written by AI, trained on the
00:04:26works of Pat Robertson.
00:04:26See, we need to pass the torch, sir.
00:04:30From Jesus to you, sir.
00:04:33And we don't get more than one chance at a first impression.
00:04:37Are we really gonna rush something this important?
00:04:42We ain't Arby's after all.
00:04:45No.
00:04:46We're the Cheesecake Factory.
00:04:52Okay.
00:04:55We'll do it your way.
00:05:01You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval is likely to generate widespread civil unrest?
00:05:08Local law should be able to handle the suburbs, but we could use extra hands in major metros.
00:05:13Oh.
00:05:13Just recall all soups stationed overseas.
00:05:16American heroes should be protecting America, not who gives a fuck a stand.
00:05:19Great idea.
00:05:29Something wrong.
00:05:31Everything's beachy.
00:05:40Well, I can see why they call this the city that never sleeps.
00:05:44How could you with all that racket?
00:05:46You're getting used to it.
00:05:47You seem to if.
00:05:49City life seems to suit you.
00:05:51I guess.
00:05:54I was surprised you called, Reverend.
00:05:57Well, I was surprised you answered.
00:05:58It's been a while, and I said things I regret.
00:06:01You both did.
00:06:06You remember when you used to stop by the church after school?
00:06:09Use your powers to light our candles?
00:06:12I remember staying for supper.
00:06:15Oh, man.
00:06:16Those fish fry Fridays.
00:06:18I never liked eating alone.
00:06:20Well, were you making sure I got at least one hot square a day?
00:06:27Reverend, is something the matter?
00:06:29I'm embarrassed to bug you with all of this, but the last couple of weeks have been rough.
00:06:34We've been bleeding congregants to the Democratic Church of America, and what folks are sticking around, they're scared.
00:06:42Why?
00:06:42Because last Sunday, somebody melted our stained glass window of Mary.
00:06:48Melted it?
00:06:49Mm-hmm.
00:06:50It was their local soup.
00:06:52Praying mantis.
00:06:54He sprayed acid out of his butt.
00:06:57I mean, his glands, his whatever.
00:06:59Yeah, I know him.
00:07:00It was a message.
00:07:01I called the sheriff.
00:07:03I called the mayor.
00:07:04I've called half of Florida.
00:07:06You're all I got left.
00:07:09Reverend, I don't know what I could do.
00:07:11Well, you gotta be able to do something.
00:07:14You're Homelander's right hand.
00:07:17Homelander's not too keen on being challenged.
00:07:23Why not just pay the franchise fee and join?
00:07:25Honey, we can barely afford to pay our water bill.
00:07:29Besides, the Democratic Church of America, God does not favor one nation over another.
00:07:36Doesn't he, though?
00:07:37No.
00:07:38Well, name one way God's ever blessed Canada.
00:07:44Just cause Homelander tells you that the sky is red does not make it so.
00:07:52You still have that, uh, that Jesus action figure?
00:07:56I'm surprised you remember that.
00:07:58How could I forget it? You carried it with you everywhere you went.
00:08:00You almost wore the face off the thing.
00:08:02You still carry him?
00:08:10It's complicated.
00:08:11No, it's, I don't think it is.
00:08:15Homelander's, uh, it's a great American.
00:08:17He can, he can stop bullets, he can fly, and do amazing things.
00:08:21Those aren't miracles.
00:08:23And he is not God.
00:08:27If you're the same Misty Tucker Gray that I taught the Bible to over fish,
00:08:31I think you know it too.
00:08:49We ain't doing that again.
00:08:51That's what you said the last six times.
00:08:53Well, I really mean it this time.
00:08:58You seem a little out of it.
00:09:00Did you nut?
00:09:02It's usually you nut.
00:09:07Were you baptized?
00:09:13Yeah, in front of half of Chestnut Hill.
00:09:15Governor Sproul did the honors.
00:09:17My family kept up appearances, of course.
00:09:20Then we never set foot in church again.
00:09:23I had lunch today with the Reverend who baptized me.
00:09:25He's been getting heat to switch over to our church.
00:09:30You think Homelander might be open to going easy on him?
00:09:33Just give him a little more time.
00:09:36I wouldn't ask if it was just anybody, but that man practically raised me.
00:09:42So you didn't nut.
00:09:46You know, this whole Homelander is God shit.
00:09:49It's, it's fucking ridiculous.
00:09:52Really? You think so?
00:09:54If he's a second coming, then what does that make me?
00:09:57Joseph?
00:09:58Let me talk about the biggest cuck in history.
00:10:00Man trades his best cow to bag some hot-ass virgin.
00:10:04And then God comes and squirts his baby gravy up her meat wallet.
00:10:09Fuck that.
00:10:11I guess I've been struggling with where to place Homelander in my heart
00:10:16in relation to Jesus and the Lord.
00:10:18Okay.
00:10:21Of course I worship Homelander.
00:10:22I mean, he's always been a God to me.
00:10:25Look, I'll tell you this.
00:10:27If there is a God,
00:10:30sure as hell didn't come out of my balls.
00:10:33I gotta go.
00:10:34Where are you off to?
00:10:36L.A.
00:10:38I fucking hate L.A.
00:10:44Homelander?
00:10:47Homelander?
00:10:51Hello?
00:10:56Does Homelander know you're here?
00:10:58Yeah, of course.
00:10:59Some of our church's followers generously donated their milk for our Savior's sustenance.
00:11:05I mean, he gotta get his liquid gold from somewhere, am I right?
00:11:09You need something.
00:11:11Where's Homelander?
00:11:12Oh, what?
00:11:12He didn't tell you?
00:11:14Yeah, he had to fly off to L.A.
00:11:16Strange he didn't mention anything.
00:11:18Well, I've been real busy working for his glory, so not much time for chit-chat.
00:11:22Of course.
00:11:23Look at us.
00:11:24The regular Peter and John, just bearing witness and spreading the gospel.
00:11:28A real blessing.
00:11:29Amen.
00:11:29Amen.
00:11:30A real blessing.
00:11:32Oh, uh, by the way, after our meeting, I checked in on the timeline of that Homelander Bible,
00:11:39and, uh, the printers were happy to rush it to make Easter.
00:11:44Well, ain't you full of get up and go?
00:11:47Thing is, they said it wasn't a problem.
00:11:50So I wondered why you were so bent on holding it up.
00:11:55I wasn't.
00:11:57See, I just wanted to make sure everything was just right.
00:12:01Listen, if you are ever feeling any doubts, come to me.
00:12:07I could be a warm shoulder and a friendly ear.
00:12:11Oh, bless your heart.
00:12:15I'll do that.
00:12:19What'd you want to talk to Homelander about?
00:12:22Maybe I could help.
00:12:24That is so kind to you.
00:12:27But it wasn't important.
00:12:40What's up?
00:12:41Um, got a tip from our southeast ringer.
00:12:45Praying Mantis raided half a dozen churches in Daytona.
00:12:49Was one of them Holy Baptist?
00:12:53The man upstairs wants us, you, to run with it top of show.
00:12:57He thinks with it being your home church and all, it'll make a strong statement.
00:13:01So I'll have Chris load the new graphics?
00:13:05I gotta finish getting ready.
00:13:17Welcome to Truth Bomb.
00:13:19Our top story tonight's a personal one.
00:13:22It's the story of my hometown church.
00:13:25Holy Baptist of Daytona.
00:13:27It was the church I grew up in.
00:13:28Sang my hymns from the pews there every Sunday.
00:13:31But that church.
00:13:38That church.
00:13:44That church.
00:13:49Has become a hotbed of starlighter infestation.
00:13:55And my old pastor, Reverend Greg Dupree,
00:13:59has been infected by starlight seditious propaganda.
00:14:08Now,
00:14:12I never told a soul this, but
00:14:14when I was a little girl, the Reverend regularly had me over for supper.
00:14:20Alone.
00:14:22Now,
00:14:24nothing ever happened to me, but
00:14:27I heard stories
00:14:30about his fish fry Fridays.
00:14:33And if that ain't code for child grooming, I don't know what is.
00:14:40How much longer are we gonna let these institutional pedo churches diddle our babies?
00:14:52Americans deserve better.
00:14:57Homelander.
00:14:58They deserve...
00:15:00Homelander.
00:15:02They deserve...
00:15:05The Democratic Church of America.
00:15:24Something wrong?
00:15:26Everything's peachy.
00:15:30Would you like some knee pads?
00:15:32I'm sorry?
00:15:33You're looking at me like you want to suck my hog.
00:15:37So I'm asking if you would like some knee pads.
00:15:41Take it easy on the little guy.
00:15:43You brought me Stan Edgar.
00:15:46Thank you, sir.
00:15:48Thank you, sir.
00:16:10Barry Gibb.
00:16:11B-G.
00:16:12There's no B-G's without me.
00:16:14B-G means the brother's Gibb.
00:16:16What, you think that falsetto makes you boss?
00:16:18I think Saturday Night Fever going platinum 16 times makes me boss.
00:16:22We made that album together.
00:16:23Nothing without me and Maurice.
00:16:25Don't you dare bring Maurice into this.
00:16:29I don't know.
00:16:30It feels inauthentic for Barry to move like this.
00:16:32Oh, yeah?
00:16:36In what way?
00:16:38Egomaniacs like Barry are really just insecure.
00:16:41I think he's threatened by Robin's talent.
00:16:43So maybe he expresses that by doing a barrel roll instead.
00:16:51Never mind. Sorry. I broke character. I didn't mean to.
00:16:53Yeah.
00:16:55You need to apologize, all right?
00:16:58For being a fucking genius.
00:17:01Are you fucking kidding me? A barrel roll?
00:17:04Holy shit.
00:17:07It's brilliant.
00:17:09Justin, I don't know who you are, or where you came from, or anything about you, but my God, if
00:17:15you are not a fucking talent.
00:17:18Well, thank you.
00:17:18No.
00:17:22Let's take ten, everybody.
00:17:27All right.
00:17:30Lay it on me, Justin.
00:17:32What do you mean?
00:17:33You're acting.
00:17:34Up there. Stop acting.
00:17:36Stop acting.
00:17:39Don't act.
00:17:40Don't.
00:17:41Because I don't need an actor.
00:17:44I need Barry Gibb.
00:17:46You're right, boss. I'm sorry.
00:17:48My process has been all over the map, but just...
00:17:51This scene is a little close to home.
00:17:54All right, let me guess, the egomaniac we're talking about, that's someone in your life?
00:17:58Someone I work with.
00:18:00In my day job.
00:18:02All right, what are you doing? So quit.
00:18:03There's no way this gig is more important than the fucking theater.
00:18:05I thought this guy was my brother, but he straight up hijacked something I did and took all the credit
00:18:10for it.
00:18:11All right.
00:18:14I've been trying to keep this on the DL, but...
00:18:17In addition to my theater work, I also happen to be a massive feature director.
00:18:22Forced Saturn Wars to prove it.
00:18:24So I was working on this little film.
00:18:26I don't know, you may have heard of it called Dawn of the Seven.
00:18:28Billion Dollar Gross, but who's counting?
00:18:31There was this fucking guy.
00:18:33The Deep.
00:18:35He just kept upstaging everyone with his trite, shitty improvs.
00:18:39I heard he's a real baby.
00:18:42He's a Jared Leto-level baby bitch.
00:18:45But you gotta put people like that in their place, right?
00:18:48So whoever's upstaging you, you fucking upstage them right back.
00:18:52Okay?
00:18:53Yeah.
00:18:54All right, you got this, Puebla.
00:19:00So great you're here, bro.
00:19:03Yes, well, we need to meet young men where they are if we plan to usher them into the fold
00:19:09of our lord.
00:19:09Mmm, totes my goats.
00:19:11So listen, you know, I've got some ideas about how to take this whole church thing to the next level.
00:19:16Oh yeah?
00:19:17So you know how communion wafers taste like dried shit?
00:19:21What if they were Nilla wafers instead, huh?
00:19:26Oh yeah, and if you could throw in a commandment about how it's not cool to try and bone another
00:19:30bros girl?
00:19:33We have that.
00:19:34That already exists.
00:19:36Great minds then, eh?
00:19:38Point is, me and homeowner, we go way back.
00:19:40I know what he likes, doesn't like, so you ever want to bounce some ideas back?
00:19:44Don't listen to him, bro.
00:19:46Oh, shit.
00:19:48He talks.
00:19:49No, he does not.
00:19:50He's not trying to help you.
00:19:51He's like those fish who suck on whales.
00:19:53Talking about a sucker fish?
00:19:54He latches onto every new soup.
00:19:57Starlight, me, sage.
00:19:59He pretends he's a guy, but he's not the guy.
00:20:01He's a joke.
00:20:02That smell in his breath?
00:20:03It's because he's been clam diving.
00:20:05On clams.
00:20:06What?
00:20:07I have not done that.
00:20:08I have definitely never done that.
00:20:10Look, if you really want to impress Homelander, bring me on stage for Easter.
00:20:14Homelander can heal me, I'll get my voice back, and then I'll fly.
00:20:18You know I can fly, right?
00:20:20That's so fucking stupid, bro.
00:20:21Well, now, I'm gonna have to run this by Homelander, but, uh,
00:20:25an honest-to-God faith healing.
00:20:26That's like a nine-point bump with Pentecostals right there.
00:20:31Goddamn.
00:20:48There's my guy.
00:20:50Little pep in the step, huh?
00:20:53Sir, I did what you said, and I upstaged that fuckhead at work.
00:20:58I'm proud of you.
00:20:59You know, that's exactly how I handled that motherfucker Paul Rudd.
00:21:02He's not who you think he is.
00:21:04I appreciate the help, boss.
00:21:06You...
00:21:07Oh, my God, kid.
00:21:08You know what? Keep this between us, but...
00:21:10You know Vought Studios hung me out to dry after they shelved training atrium?
00:21:14Yeah.
00:21:15Oh, yeah.
00:21:15And at first I drowned my sorrows in crack.
00:21:19Nitrous, huff and glue, huff and paint, paint thinners, cough medicine, guns, high-risk sex, codeine.
00:21:24Did you ever fuck on codeine?
00:21:28But that's not the answer.
00:21:32This play...
00:21:34It saved me.
00:21:36You saved me.
00:21:38Wow.
00:21:40No.
00:21:41Kid, thank you.
00:21:43Because I got some big news.
00:21:46We're going to Broadway.
00:21:47Yes, no more mindless studio bullshit.
00:21:50I can finally be the artist I always dreamed of and you.
00:21:52Kid, you have no idea, but you're gonna be a fucking star.
00:21:56So you ditch that office gig because you and I, we are going to save the world.
00:22:02With our talent.
00:22:03Oh, my God, you have no idea how much this means to me.
00:22:08I love you, kid.
00:22:12You start your vocal warm-ups.
00:22:14Yeah.
00:22:15I'm going to drop a juice.
00:22:16Okay.
00:22:23Fucking Tony Gilroy.
00:22:33Come on.
00:22:34Jim.
00:22:34I don't want to get him to.
00:22:34I don't want to get him to.
00:22:37I'm going to sweat like this.
00:22:39Oh, my.
00:22:41Get him here!
00:22:42Get him!
00:22:43Get him!
00:22:43Get him!
00:22:47God.
00:22:51Come here.
00:23:01My hands hurt so fucking much.
00:23:28Hey, bro.
00:23:29Don't you fucking hate bromee?
00:23:30What the fuck is wrong with you?
00:23:33Nothing. Why? What's wrong with you?
00:23:35I call you a clam diver and you send an eel to ass-murder Adam Bork?
00:23:39Did something terrible happen at your play rehearsal today?
00:23:42Which is definitely not your job.
00:23:43The lead producers stepping away.
00:23:45They're shuttering the production.
00:23:47Get it coming.
00:23:49Fucker didn't use my improvs in Donna the Seven.
00:23:51He believed in me, you fuckwit!
00:23:53And for what?
00:23:53Because I fucking upstaged you with Oh Father?
00:23:57Here's what's gonna happen now.
00:23:59You are gonna fucking do whatever I say, whenever I say it.
00:24:03I'm gonna tell Homelander you are in some pussy play.
00:24:06Which is a definite conflict of interest
00:24:08since Homelander outlawed the National Endowment for the Arts.
00:24:14You have nothing to say?
00:24:16Nice.
00:24:18You were getting the hang of that Meisner technique, huh?
00:24:28Hey, buddy.
00:24:30Good boy.
00:24:32Good boy.
00:24:34Good boy.
00:24:34Hey, man.
00:24:37You wanna fuck me?
00:24:39You wanna fuck me like a good boy?
00:24:42Good boy.
00:24:43Hey man!
00:24:50Hey man!
00:25:00Hey man!
00:25:01Hey man!
00:25:01Hey man.
00:25:02Hey man!
00:25:03Hey man!
00:25:05Hey man!
00:25:07You're welcome!
00:25:08Hey man!
00:25:11You're welcome to my friends in the family room!
00:25:13Steak.
00:25:14You know?
00:25:18Jesus Christ.
00:25:19Has Butcher ever washed this thing?
00:25:22Oh.
00:25:22That thing is, like, glazed in dog semen.
00:25:25Like a cum donut.
00:25:26Cumnut?
00:25:27Did I just invent a new word?
00:25:28You know what?
00:25:29I'm gonna do us all a favor and wash this.
00:25:31Terror.
00:25:32Your boyfriend is about to become a virgin all over again.
00:25:35Whew.
00:25:36Good boy.
00:25:56What the fuck is that?
00:25:57You finally building yourself a fuckbot?
00:25:59Something me and Frenchy are working on.
00:26:02Proper preparation and planning, my son.
00:26:05None of my fucking business, got it.
00:26:06Yeah.
00:26:07That's the one.
00:26:08Any leads on bombsite?
00:26:09Not a damn thing.
00:26:10Well, he's an unbreakable cunt that flies through the air.
00:26:12How hard can it be?
00:26:13Well, if it's so easy, why don't you look for him?
00:26:16I've hit every single dead end and then some.
00:26:19How about Legend?
00:26:20That old bastard knows everyone.
00:26:22He's in the wind.
00:26:23If I had as much shit on Vaid as he did, I'd fuck off too.
00:26:27Oh, shit.
00:26:28Wait, wait, wait.
00:26:29Oi.
00:26:30Terror, no.
00:26:30Hey.
00:26:31Get down.
00:26:31Good boy.
00:26:33No.
00:26:34You can't have no chocolate, mate.
00:26:36Yeah.
00:26:36Get your own chocolate.
00:26:44What?
00:26:45Free Mississippi rule?
00:26:47Bloody hell.
00:26:48I never thought I'd see the dye.
00:26:49It's got a fucking pubic ear on it, and no.
00:26:51Tasty, too.
00:26:53Hmm?
00:26:56You know what's funny?
00:26:59Here we are, parked in the middle of hell, and I've never slept or shit so good my entire
00:27:06life.
00:27:06What's different?
00:27:07Well, like you, I just finally realized that I'm already dead.
00:27:14And once I just gave up that stress of needing to stay alive, it's like, shit got easier.
00:27:22You know, I spent my whole life going after Soulja Boy for what he did to my family.
00:27:27Yet, he's immortal?
00:27:30He's immune.
00:27:33What kind of fucking cosmic joke is that?
00:27:36So you tell me, Butcher, why should I keep going?
00:27:41Well, you keep going from Monique to Janine.
00:27:45They're better off without me.
00:27:47How can a man so smart be so fucking daft?
00:27:49They are.
00:27:51And I'm better off without them.
00:27:54Because if I thought that there was a snowball's chance in hell, that I might see him again.
00:28:02Then I might be too scared to do what you and me both need me to do.
00:28:30You wonder what am I doing?
00:28:33Well, first, I made Kimiko.
00:28:36The perfect French ribeye.
00:28:39You know, she loves my steak.
00:28:42And for dessert, my soufflé en chocolate.
00:28:46It's a thing of legend.
00:28:55You know, she wants one of you, too.
00:28:59I don't know.
00:29:00What is it that you do?
00:29:03Eat?
00:29:04Sleep?
00:29:05Or fetch?
00:29:06Haha.
00:29:07I throw the wall, you bring it back.
00:29:10I throw the wall, you bring it back.
00:29:13It's a nightmare of futility.
00:29:16What would I do with one of you?
00:29:17I will.
00:29:18I've killed every plant I've owned.
00:29:21I'll surely kill you, too.
00:29:28She deserves peace.
00:29:32A normal life.
00:29:35But I...
00:29:41I don't know how to give her this.
00:29:46If I even can.
00:29:52Oh, la la la la la.
00:29:58No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:30:00Oh, fut de putt.
00:30:07I need fresh air.
00:30:09You wanna come?
00:30:10Outside?
00:30:11No?
00:30:13Okay.
00:30:19If you and M.M. still think...
00:30:21Oh, for fuck's sake, Huey.
00:30:22Knock it off with this V1 shite.
00:30:23You're doing me fucking head in.
00:30:26Oi.
00:30:27Terror.
00:30:28Cut it out.
00:30:29Come on.
00:30:30Now listen.
00:30:31If we do find that stuff,
00:30:32we're not making any fucking vaccines out of it, alright?
00:30:34We're not the department of fucking health.
00:30:36We burn this shit before Homelander gets his paws in it,
00:30:39and that's it.
00:30:40Well, if you wanna kill yourself,
00:30:41knock yourself out,
00:30:42but why do you have to decide for the rest of us?
00:30:43Oh, cause I'm fucking right.
00:30:45Cause I've always been right.
00:30:47I've been telling you lot,
00:30:48from the fucking start,
00:30:49the sky has fallen.
00:30:50And guess what?
00:30:51The sky fucking fell.
00:30:53Well, you kinda helped bring it down.
00:30:54Oh, don't give me that bollocks.
00:30:56Listen.
00:30:57Homelander thinks he's a fucking god.
00:30:59Once he becomes a mortal,
00:31:01he's gonna start killing like one,
00:31:03and we are talking millions of people.
00:31:05Now, are you telling me
00:31:06you're honestly happy to risk all of that
00:31:09for a life on the run with your girl,
00:31:13knowing that you could've stopped it?
00:31:17You can live with that, can ya?
00:31:21What if it was Becca?
00:31:24You just let her die?
00:31:32I did let her die.
00:31:34Look.
00:31:36I know that Homelander comes first.
00:31:39I really do.
00:31:41All I'm asking is that we try.
00:31:45Annie and Kimiko deserve that much.
00:31:50Oi, Tara, no!
00:31:53Oi, get out of there!
00:31:54Oh, bloody hell.
00:31:55Is that chocolate?
00:31:56Isn't chocolate bad for dogs?
00:31:58For a dog disorder,
00:31:59it's fucking lethal.
00:31:59Oi, Frenchie, you cunt!
00:32:01Get me some hydrogen peroxide, would ya?
00:32:03Okay, we have some in the first aid kit.
00:32:04Give me one second.
00:32:05What happened?
00:32:06You poisoned my fucking dog!
00:32:08No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
00:32:10Look, all you need is charcoal.
00:32:12We should call a vet.
00:32:12They're gonna tell you you need charcoal.
00:32:14Guys, we got this.
00:32:14Just give us some room.
00:32:15I'll hold his mouth open.
00:32:16You pour, right?
00:32:17On the count of three.
00:32:18One, two, three.
00:32:20Sorry, buddy.
00:32:21Hang out.
00:32:24All right, all right.
00:32:28Oh, that's it.
00:32:30That's a good boy.
00:32:31All right.
00:32:32You're gonna be all right, boy.
00:32:35Fucking hell.
00:32:41Hey!
00:32:42You want some turkey?
00:32:45Well, first you gotta fuck me.
00:32:48Then I'll give you the turkey.
00:32:56Oi.
00:32:58There he is, eh?
00:33:01Oi, hey, were you having a dream, were ya?
00:33:04Was it a goodie?
00:33:08How's he doing?
00:33:08Yeah, he's all right.
00:33:12Yeah.
00:33:12Thank you for, uh...
00:33:15Yeah.
00:33:16It's all good.
00:33:27Oi.
00:33:29Huey.
00:33:32Listen, uh, if we do find that B1, and if it don't fuck us, uh, you-you can have some.
00:33:46For Annie and, uh, Camino.
00:33:49No.
00:33:50What about you?
00:33:54Oi.
00:33:54But as soon as Frenchie's got that shite sorted, we're using it, all right?
00:33:58Really or not.
00:34:12What are you looking at?
00:34:16What you looking at?
00:34:21And as for you, don't you ever fucking do that to me again, all right?
00:34:26Good boy.
00:34:28Now, I caught Blondie trying to give you wet plus the boil wash.
00:34:33But I know how you love the crunchy bits.
00:34:36Yes, I do.
00:34:36I know how you love those crunchy bits.
00:34:38Yeah.
00:34:51You do realize this kind of sudden religious upheaval is likely to generate widespread civil unrest?
00:34:59Local law can handle the suburbs, but we could use extra hands in major metros.
00:35:02All right, well, recall all the soups stationed overseas.
00:35:04American heroes should be protecting America, not who gives a fuck a stand.
00:35:10Great idea.
00:35:22Where to?
00:35:23Grime analytics.
00:35:30That was thrilling, wasn't it?
00:35:34What a bright future we have ahead of us.
00:35:37It was a real Gucci-oni piss party.
00:35:40Imagine how much more exciting it'll be when Homelander becomes immortal.
00:35:45Who?
00:35:47Have you found the viewer?
00:35:51No.
00:35:53Homelander hasn't gotten anything out of Stan Edgar.
00:35:56No.
00:35:56But I haven't had a crack at him yet.
00:36:09Jesus, give me a little personal space, will you, Garth?
00:36:13Hmm.
00:36:1424-7 agents must be hard for someone so into scat play.
00:36:17You realize I do actually work?
00:36:19I was this close to convincing the FCC to pull every broadcast license but VNN.
00:36:24Homelander feels this is more important.
00:36:28What now?
00:36:29The President and I stand by this decision.
00:36:32We need our American soups here in America.
00:36:35Well, isn't it kinda sorta your fault for being invaded?
00:36:38You might as well have been wearing a short skirt.
00:36:40Man, those Ukrainians sure have a fucking mouth on them.
00:36:45Remember, you're doing the Lord's work.
00:36:47Words out.
00:36:48VOD stock is tanking.
00:36:49The international markets are in free fall and you're not the least bit concerned.
00:36:53It's not about what I think.
00:36:55It's what the man wants.
00:36:58It's always what the man wants.
00:37:05You want a drink?
00:37:07So we're at the climate change summit in Reykjavik
00:37:09when the Swiss Chancellor says we should all race our Gulf Streams.
00:37:13The amount of CO2 we splooched out.
00:37:15The air was chewy the next day.
00:37:17Lolz.
00:37:22Come on.
00:37:23What do you want from me, Sage?
00:37:25What makes you think I want anything from you?
00:37:26You haven't called me the poster child for late-term abortion once today.
00:37:30Truth be told, you're not the one I want.
00:37:33I know you know what Homelander's doing.
00:37:35He's going after the V1.
00:37:37Wait, what?
00:37:38And if he gets any.
00:37:40He lives forever.
00:37:41What is V1?
00:37:42And what do you mean Homelander lives forever?
00:37:45I've done what I can to make sure he doesn't find any.
00:37:47How do you know about this and I don't?
00:37:50Have you two been talking without me?
00:37:53Homelander is an open baby book, but Soldier Boy is tricky.
00:37:56I need you to read his mind.
00:37:57What he knows, where they're headed next, and most importantly,
00:38:00if Soldier Boy is warming up to his sadistic Rugrat.
00:38:03What?
00:38:05Okay, I'm in.
00:38:06The fuck you are?
00:38:08We are not conspiring against Homelander.
00:38:10Hey, don't forget the Aung San Suu Kyi quote tramp stamped on our ass.
00:38:14The only real prison is fear.
00:38:16No, the only real prison is prison.
00:38:18Ashley, what do you think happens to you if I die?
00:38:21I'm not about to risk my neck because I let an overgrown Boyle do my thinking for me.
00:38:27Okay, fine. Just stay.
00:38:29Why? So you can play more mind games?
00:38:31You gave me your answer. I heard you.
00:38:33Now, don't make me drink alone.
00:38:39I'm starving. Are you starving?
00:38:41I'd kill for a chalupa right now.
00:38:43I'd kill for a big juicy dick.
00:38:45Oh, we should call Gavin. His girth was amazing.
00:38:48And, oh, man, the amount of spunky shot back here. We looked like Pepe Le Pew.
00:38:51We are not booty-calling my high school boyfriend.
00:38:54But he was so sweet. And Mom loved him, remember?
00:38:56Yeah, well, Mom's dead, so she doesn't get a say.
00:38:59And neither do you.
00:39:00What happened to her?
00:39:01Cancer.
00:39:03My grandmother, too.
00:39:04What was she like?
00:39:06Your mother.
00:39:08Tiny.
00:39:10And terrifying.
00:39:12This one bitch, Harper Hewitt, used to make fun of my nose.
00:39:14So my mom tells Mr. Hewitt that Mrs. Hewitt has been railing the UPS guy.
00:39:20Which she was.
00:39:21That was Mom.
00:39:22Bringing a nuke to a knife fight.
00:39:27So they moved.
00:39:29And the rest of kindergarten was no sweat.
00:39:32My folks shot me out with V.
00:39:34Thinking I'd be a meal ticket.
00:39:36And then my power turned out to be smarts.
00:39:39Which is the worst fuckin' one.
00:39:40Try knowing what everyone really thinks of you all day.
00:39:43Ooh, trust me.
00:39:44The thing people hate more than just about anything,
00:39:47is feeling stupid.
00:39:49So, when a three-year-old corrects your grammar,
00:39:52or, oh, tells them their life dream yogurt shop is doomed to fail,
00:39:57they start to hate you, too.
00:39:59At least my parents did.
00:40:00Until they don't meet my grandmas.
00:40:02But...
00:40:03Grandma.
00:40:04You know, she was the only one who ever thought it was a gift.
00:40:08I would quote Othello to her.
00:40:10Word for word.
00:40:11And...
00:40:12She'd clap.
00:40:14And laugh her big laugh.
00:40:19I'm still so pissed she is gone.
00:40:23I used to want to be like my mom.
00:40:26Strong.
00:40:28Pushy as fuck.
00:40:30Didn't take shit from anyone.
00:40:31You still can.
00:40:34If you help me.
00:40:38Fuck you.
00:40:40You knew about my mom the whole time.
00:40:41You drew it out of me just to soften me up.
00:40:44Did it work?
00:40:44No.
00:40:45This is my fucking problem with you.
00:40:47I know you've been working some big plan all year.
00:40:49How am I supposed to trust you if I'm just a pawn in your fucked up chess game?
00:40:53All right.
00:40:55If I tell you, will you help me?
00:40:58I would heavily consider it.
00:41:00Helping Homelander take control of the country is phase one.
00:41:04It was only ever the beginning.
00:41:05Phase two is the end.
00:41:07The end of what?
00:41:08The world.
00:41:10After this soup-killing virus is released.
00:41:13Wait, you want it released?
00:41:14Oh, you bet I do.
00:41:16After soups you realize humans are behind it,
00:41:19all hell will break loose.
00:41:22Soups butchering humans.
00:41:23Virus butchering soups.
00:41:25Fucking world war soup.
00:41:26I don't believe you.
00:41:28Swear on my grandma's soul.
00:41:30Why would you possibly want that?
00:41:32Because I'll be watching from my cozy bunker outside Colorado Springs.
00:41:36And when it's all over, I can read all day every day.
00:41:41No one bothering me.
00:41:44Nothing but peace and quiet forever.
00:41:49Which is why Homelander can't survive.
00:41:52That needy asshole would never give me a moment's rest.
00:41:55And defeats the whole purpose.
00:41:58Don't worry.
00:41:59You're invited to my bunker.
00:42:01You too, Ashley.
00:42:06Fuck.
00:42:10Would you like some knee pads?
00:42:12Sorry.
00:42:12What?
00:42:13You're looking at me like you want to suck my hog.
00:42:18So I'm asking you if you would like some knee pads.
00:42:21Go easy on the little guy.
00:42:23He brought me Stan Edgar.
00:42:24Thank you, sir.
00:42:25You may leave.
00:42:37What crawled up your shithole?
00:42:39No idea what you mean.
00:42:41When you're pissy, you tend to make everybody else's lives pissy too.
00:42:47Stan Edgar?
00:42:48Still stonewalling you?
00:42:49I've talked to him three times now.
00:42:51Says he has no idea where the V1 is.
00:42:53Heart rate steady as a rock.
00:42:55I'm starting to believe him.
00:42:57That slippery fuck used to fetch my cocaine.
00:43:02You know what?
00:43:04I have an idea.
00:43:07Why don't I take a crack at him?
00:43:12What, you don't trust me?
00:43:13Well, you did lock me in a room with nuclear material and tried to stop me getting the V1.
00:43:19So I'm sure you can understand my hesitance.
00:43:24You could have killed me at Fort Harmony, but you didn't.
00:43:28Maybe I feel like I owe you.
00:43:29Or maybe you're lying.
00:43:30Maybe.
00:43:37Give me an hour.
00:43:39I'll meet you at Edgar's cell.
00:43:51My, my.
00:43:52Now the mighty have fucked themselves square in the ass.
00:43:57Don't shit where ye'd stand.
00:43:59So you've called in reinforcements?
00:44:00I wanted to see the prick that sold me out to the Reds.
00:44:03It wasn't personal.
00:44:04It was a business decision.
00:44:05We had your replacement model on the way.
00:44:08Even as a toddler, Homelander showed more promise than you ever did.
00:44:13Not that it amounted to much.
00:44:16When have you ever done anything remotely interesting or original?
00:44:23My power is absolute, Stan.
00:44:27At heights no one's even dreamed of.
00:44:30I'd call that pretty fucking original.
00:44:32Nothing that the lowest speck of this pointless species couldn't have thought of were they to be granted your level
00:44:39of power.
00:44:40Why am I still alive?
00:44:44Because you're useful, Stan.
00:44:47And I always wanted a pet.
00:44:49Perhaps.
00:44:50Or is it because you are so desperate for daddy figures that you can't even bring yourself to kill the
00:44:56ones who hate you?
00:44:57At least that's something he and I have in common.
00:45:01Do you want to die, Stan?
00:45:09Jesus.
00:45:10You'd get pregnant with all the eye-fucking...
00:45:14Tempe, Arizona.
00:45:15Is that supposed to mean something?
00:45:17Well, I had the eggheads and crime analytics track down your granddaughter.
00:45:21Zoe.
00:45:23And her dad.
00:45:24They're in Tempe, Arizona.
00:45:29So...
00:45:31Where is the V1?
00:45:35As I told you, I genuinely don't know.
00:45:45But...
00:45:47I may know someone who does.
00:45:49You should go and see Mr. Marathon in L.A.
00:45:52He's always had an intense interest in Vaught's history.
00:45:57It should be a delightful reunion.
00:46:00Yeah.
00:46:04Hooray for Hollywood.
00:46:06That screwy-bally-hoo-y Hollywood.
00:46:09Go out and try your luck.
00:46:11You might be Donald Duck.
00:46:14Hooray for Hollywood.
00:46:15Homelander, it's really good to see you.
00:46:18Why? But what brings you by?
00:46:20Relax. We're just here to talk.
00:46:22Yeah, great. Awesome.
00:46:23Wow. Big fan.
00:46:25Sir, I actually popped my cherry in your underoos.
00:46:28Nice.
00:46:30So you were part of the 7?
00:46:31I was. I was.
00:46:32You know, until this one replaced me with A-Train.
00:46:35Check it out. Come on.
00:46:37Well, you're only the world's fastest man
00:46:39as long as you're the world's fastest man, champ.
00:46:41And you got slow.
00:46:42It was one race.
00:46:43You never gave me the chance to win it back, boss.
00:46:49Hey, check this one out.
00:46:52Gross 35 mil.
00:46:53On a $200 million budget.
00:46:55These aren't even VOD films.
00:46:56What's the difference?
00:46:57These were made where washed-up soups go to die.
00:47:00Sony Pictures TV.
00:47:02It's a legit studio.
00:47:03And I save half on their TVs.
00:47:06And maybe we're not part of the official VCU,
00:47:08and maybe we can't mention VOD,
00:47:09or, you know, any licensed VOD hero.
00:47:12But, hey, still making magic.
00:47:15That, and I, uh, sling a little bit.
00:47:17On the side, low pills.
00:47:18Whatever you need.
00:47:19Fastest dealer in town.
00:47:21All right, come on.
00:47:22The gang will be psyched to meet you.
00:47:28Did you guys hear?
00:47:29They rounded up Aziz, Macaulay, Joaquin, Kiefer, Meryl.
00:47:33I also heard they got Benedict.
00:47:35Wong or Cumberbatch?
00:47:36Both.
00:47:36What the fuck?
00:47:37I know, dude.
00:47:38What the fuck, Malchemical?
00:47:39Get your boys in check, huh?
00:47:40Just because I'm a soup doesn't mean I truck in that fascist shit.
00:47:42We need to do something.
00:47:44Counterpoint, why?
00:47:45Because we're storytellers, dude.
00:47:47Yeah.
00:47:47Our superpower is we inspire hearts and minds.
00:47:50Look at the characters we create.
00:47:51Luke Skywalker, Katniss, Condi.
00:47:53Oh, bitch, please.
00:47:55Come on, like Mark Hamill, J-Law, and Sir Ben Kingsley do anything but collect their fucking residuals.
00:48:00They're very engaged.
00:48:02Look, here's what we do.
00:48:03We all post about this simultaneously on Instagram.
00:48:07Yes.
00:48:07Black squares on the main feed.
00:48:09Black Lives Matter did black squares.
00:48:10Fuck.
00:48:11You're right.
00:48:11We do blue squares on the grid, because blue lives matter.
00:48:14I wouldn't post that.
00:48:16Is there any color that hasn't been taken by some fucking group?
00:48:19What about white?
00:48:20Look around.
00:48:21Oh, ooh, ooh.
00:48:22I'll get Lena Dunham to write an editorial for The Atlantic.
00:48:25Oh, yeah.
00:48:25She's a great writer.
00:48:26That has great readership.
00:48:28She's very persuasive.
00:48:29Whatever fuck sticks.
00:48:31Look, best day of my life was when they executed Hater.
00:48:34Right?
00:48:34More offer onlys for the forte.
00:48:36Hey, do we think Michael Cera's a starlighter?
00:48:38Because we're up for the same part right now, and it'd be pretty good if he got Vanish.
00:48:41We've been friends with him for 20 years, Chris.
00:48:43Yeah, but I really need this part, man.
00:48:45Oh, no.
00:48:46Oh, no.
00:48:47What's up?
00:48:48Homelander!
00:48:49Soldier Boy.
00:48:50Wow.
00:48:50I'm Will.
00:48:51Remember me?
00:48:52I'm the one who turned in Channing Tatum.
00:48:57Seth Rogen.
00:48:58We actually met once before with Black Noir at the premiere for Silent Vengeance 3, Vengeance
00:49:03Reloaded.
00:49:05Big fan.
00:49:06I'm actually testifying in front of Congress for you, you know, outing suspected starlighters.
00:49:10Spoiler alert.
00:49:11Post Malone.
00:49:13You need to get the fuck away from me right now.
00:49:15You bet.
00:49:16Yeah.
00:49:17We came here looking for something.
00:49:19What do you know about V1?
00:49:23You come to the right place.
00:49:33Here you go.
00:49:37Oh, yeah.
00:49:38Law yanked that one from the newsstands after Kent State.
00:49:42Good times.
00:49:44How'd you end up with it?
00:49:45Some old bitch on eBay.
00:49:46I paid 20 bucks.
00:49:48I mean, it'd go for half a mil at auction.
00:49:50Easy.
00:49:59Yeah, Dr. Vaught was a titan.
00:50:01A visionary.
00:50:03He was a pansy with a German accent and sweaty palms.
00:50:06He was a complicated guy.
00:50:16Do you or do you not have V1?
00:50:21I don't.
00:50:23But Bombside does.
00:50:24He does.
00:50:26That piece of shit's still alive.
00:50:28Yeah.
00:50:28He was my best customer for a long time.
00:50:30What makes you think he has it?
00:50:31One night he was tweaked out of his gourd and he told me he has some and I believe him.
00:50:35Where is he?
00:50:36Me and Bombside are so cool.
00:50:37Why don't we all just hang out for a sec and I'll call him.
00:50:40He'll fly right over.
00:50:49I'll scoop this up in Bogota where you were taking a pass.
00:50:51You mean for the soldier boy?
00:50:54Nothing but the best.
00:51:00No.
00:51:02No.
00:51:03No.
00:51:03I actually hate weed.
00:51:04I just pretend to like it from my brand so I can sell ashtrays to suckers.
00:51:09Um, yo, Homelander.
00:51:13Uh, you wanna hit this?
00:51:14It is my life goal to smoke you out, homie.
00:51:20Don't call me that.
00:51:24Homelander.
00:51:25It's good to see you again.
00:51:30Do I know you?
00:51:31Yeah, uh, we met like six times.
00:51:33Malchemical.
00:51:34Make deadly gases.
00:51:36Did that whole campaign with GasX.
00:51:42That's embarrassing.
00:51:44Homelander's still as weird as he was when I was there.
00:51:47Well, I wasn't there back then, but...
00:51:48Yes.
00:51:50Let's get this one.
00:51:51One time, at Ledoux, Misha Barton wanted to suck him off, right?
00:51:54He spent two hours talking to her about Nietzsche, then left when she stepped on his cape.
00:51:58Oh.
00:51:59That fucking cape.
00:52:00Like a baby with a blanket.
00:52:02Pretty sure he jerks off into it.
00:52:03Probably why it's so stiff.
00:52:05Say that again.
00:52:10Oh, can't you take a fucking joke?
00:52:15Say it again.
00:52:18I thought as much.
00:52:19If Bonsai's not coming, I'm leaving.
00:52:21No, he's on his way.
00:52:22Be here any minute.
00:52:23I swear.
00:52:27Nah, I'm done.
00:52:31Oh, shit.
00:52:31By the way.
00:52:33Hey!
00:52:34I heard you all.
00:52:35And I want you all to know that very soon, gentlemen, you are going to pay for your sick posts
00:52:41and your hateful memes.
00:52:43Especially the memes.
00:52:48No, no, no, no.
00:52:49It was Camille and Seth's idea.
00:52:51What?
00:52:51I was against you.
00:52:52Fuck you, Forte.
00:52:52It was fucking his idea, man.
00:52:54If he is just sucking your dick so you can help his shitty fucking career.
00:52:57Take them, okay?
00:52:58Shit, I'll take them out for you right now.
00:52:59Oh, really?
00:53:00Yeah.
00:53:00You want to take me, bitch?
00:53:01I'm fucking yoked.
00:53:02Shut up, Forte.
00:53:03You're making this worse.
00:53:04Stop!
00:53:06We really should round up Michael Cera.
00:53:11Home letter.
00:53:12Sorry, quick question.
00:53:14What?
00:53:15Oh, for fuck's sake.
00:53:23Who's memorable now?
00:53:24What the fuck?
00:53:25Easy, easy, easy.
00:53:26Can we fuck off, please?
00:53:27Sure, McGruber.
00:53:28Everything is cool.
00:53:29Hey, man.
00:53:29We don't have a problem with you.
00:53:30Honest.
00:53:31But fuck this fucking guy.
00:53:33You know, he fucked my life.
00:53:35If you help us get rid of him, then we all win.
00:53:37And you, you can have the seven.
00:53:40And I don't even, like, really care if you bring me back or whatever.
00:53:42I don't need to kill him to get the seven.
00:53:44No, yeah, of course not.
00:53:45But what about all that creepy shit he's doing with that church?
00:53:47I mean, they're rounding up everybody cool.
00:53:49All the hookers, the drug dealers.
00:53:51They want to ban porn.
00:53:52I mean, they want to ban fucking abortions.
00:53:55Okay, well, banning abortion would be a big problem for me personally.
00:53:58Exactly, for all of us.
00:54:00So if we kill him, we can stop worrying about being cops or gods or asexual weirdos.
00:54:06You know, we can go back to fucking and being fucking awesome.
00:54:10Look, we know you've got that fucked up chest blast thing.
00:54:13I mean, I was at hero gas and I saw it.
00:54:15Just finish him now.
00:54:16Take away his powers so we can curb stomp him while we have the chance.
00:54:27He is a fucking asexual weirdo.
00:54:29Yeah, yeah.
00:54:31But as much as it pains me to say this, he's my fucking asexual weirdo.
00:54:41Nobody fucks my son but me.
00:54:43What?
00:54:44That came out wrong.
00:54:46God!
00:54:51Oh!
00:54:53Oh!
00:54:56Oh!
00:54:57Oh!
00:54:58Oh!
00:54:58Oh!
00:55:01Oh!
00:55:03Oh!
00:55:05Oh!
00:55:08Oh!
00:55:08The trailer had to stick to acting on top of those fuck my shit up.
00:55:13Soldier Boy!
00:55:19Yeah, please send police right now.
00:55:20I don't know the address.
00:55:22Do you know the address?
00:55:23There dos.
00:55:23I don't know the address.
00:55:24Oh fuck.
00:55:25Fuck.
00:55:25Shut up.
00:55:26Shut up.
00:55:27I'm not going to kill you.
00:55:28I'm going to get you out of here, but you need to do exactly as I say.
00:55:37Go. Go.
00:55:43Fuck!
00:55:55No! No!
00:56:03What'd you do to me, man?
00:56:05Seth!
00:56:07Fuck!
00:56:08Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
00:56:09Is it bad?
00:56:11Well, uh, I didn't mean to.
00:56:14I don't want to die, man.
00:56:15It's going to be okay.
00:56:17I'll remember you every time I watch An American Pickle.
00:56:21What?
00:56:21This is...
00:56:22Ugh!
00:56:30Oh, my God.
00:57:05Does Bombsite really have it?
00:57:07Fuck you!
00:57:08I'm gonna rip your balls off and stuff them down your throat.
00:57:11That'd be like trying to shove two grapefruits through a garden hose.
00:57:15Does Bombsite have the V1s?
00:57:19Oh, God!
00:57:21Yes, yes, okay, yes.
00:57:22That part was true, I swear to fucking God, man.
00:57:24He's got it.
00:57:25Where is he?
00:57:26I don't know.
00:57:26Where the fuck is he?
00:57:27I don't know.
00:57:28I haven't talked to him in like five years, I swear, man.
00:57:29I swear to God.
00:57:30Please.
00:57:44What happened?
00:57:46I took care of it.
00:57:50Why?
00:57:52Because fuck them.
00:57:55That's why.
00:57:57I don't think this micro prick was lying.
00:57:59Bombsite has the V1.
00:58:01You just gotta find him.
00:58:04Also, um...
00:58:08I've been fucking firecracker, but out of respect for you, that's, uh, that's done.
00:58:18Plus, her pillow talk was getting to be a real drag.
00:58:24Pillow talk?
00:58:25I don't know.
00:58:29I don't know.
00:58:31I don't know.
00:58:38I don't know.
00:58:50You're welcome.
00:58:54Oh, yeah.
00:58:56Oh, Lander.
00:59:00How was L.A.?
00:59:03Did you catch Annette's truth bomb?
00:59:06I did, indeed.
00:59:07And it was a real barn burner.
00:59:10Well done.
00:59:10Thank you, sir.
00:59:11That means the world.
00:59:14How's sex with my father?
00:59:19Is he good at it?
00:59:21Are you thinking about me
00:59:24when you're making love to him?
00:59:28I never meant to cross a line or offend you.
00:59:32Oh, no, no, no, no.
00:59:32Don't fret, little one.
00:59:34I don't care about the sex.
00:59:36Really.
00:59:38But I do care about your little chats after sex.
00:59:41Sir, whatever soldier boy told you,
00:59:43I can assure you that I...
00:59:44You mean your inner turmoil
00:59:46when it comes to me and...
00:59:52Jesus.
00:59:53Are you thinking of Jesus
00:59:54when you're praising me?
00:59:56No, you are my one and only Savior.
01:00:00You say that,
01:00:01but your jagged little heart
01:00:03is whirring like a hummingbird.
01:00:09You're supposed to worship me.
01:00:12Love me.
01:00:13And me alone.
01:00:15I do.
01:00:16I believed in you.
01:00:17It turns out
01:00:20you don't believe in me.
01:00:25I need you to collect your things
01:00:28and leave.
01:00:31But I do believe in you.
01:00:34I love you.
01:00:35I am the only one here who ever has.
01:00:38I gave you everything.
01:00:41I gave you my soul.
01:00:43And everybody else here,
01:00:44they're just...
01:00:45They're just scared of you.
01:00:47Or they want something from you.
01:00:49But I have always loved you for you.
01:00:54Just the strongest,
01:00:57smartest,
01:00:58best man on earth.
01:01:01Man.
01:01:02No, no, no, no, no, no.
01:01:03God, no.
01:01:04No, no.
01:01:04The God.
01:01:07My Lord.
01:01:08That look you used to get
01:01:10when you'd suck on me.
01:01:12I felt like Mother Mary herself.
01:01:15I felt blessed
01:01:17to nourish someone
01:01:19as important as you.
01:01:26But nothing I ever did
01:01:27was good enough, was it?
01:01:29You cast me out to the cold.
01:01:32Which was so much worse
01:01:33than never feeling your warmth
01:01:35in the first place.
01:01:37So all I have been trying to do
01:01:39is to get you to see me
01:01:41the way that you used to.
01:01:44Hell, the only reason
01:01:45I was with Soldier Boy
01:01:45was because your
01:01:47reflected light
01:01:50is better than no light at all.
01:01:53Please, sir.
01:01:56I love you.
01:01:58We all need love, don't we?
01:02:03Even God.
01:02:16You once again.
01:02:24You'll need love.
01:02:24Shut up.
01:02:46Hooray for Hollywood
01:02:48That screwy, ballyhoo-y Hollywood
01:02:52Where any office for your young mechanic
01:02:55Can be a panic with just a good-looking pant
01:02:59And any barmaid can be a star maid
01:03:04If she dances with or without a fan
01:03:06Hooray for Hollywood
01:03:08Where you're terrific if you're even good
01:03:11Where anyone at all from Shirley Temple
01:03:15To Amy Semple is equally understood
01:03:19Go out and try your luck
01:03:21You might be Donald Duck
01:03:23Hooray for Hollywood
01:03:25I love you
01:03:25I love you
01:04:03Hooray for Hollywood
01:04:04That phony, super-coney Hollywood
01:04:08They come from Chillicotties and Paducas
01:04:11With their bazookas
01:04:13To get their names up in lights
01:04:15All armed with photos from local rotos
01:04:19With their hair and ribbon and legs and tights
01:04:22Hooray for Hollywood
01:04:23Hooray for Hollywood
01:04:25You may be homely in your neighborhood
01:04:27But if you think that you can be an actor
01:04:30See Mr. Factor
01:04:32He'll make a monkey look good
01:04:34Within a half an hour
01:04:36You'll look like Tyrone Power
01:04:39Hooray for Hollywood
01:04:46Hooray for Hollywood
01:04:49Hooray for Hollywood
01:04:49Hooray for Hollywood
01:04:49Hooray for Hollywood
01:04:49Hooray for Hollywood
01:04:49Hooray for Hollywood
01:04:50Hooray for Hollywood
01:04:53Hooray for Hollywood
01:04:56Hooray for Hollywood
01:05:00Hooray for Hollywood
01:05:02Hooray for Hollywood
Comments