00:00MUSIC
00:12Lenny is on to us!
00:15Get me close enough. I'll throw a punch.
00:17Can't promise where it'll land, but he'll die.
00:20We need to be smarter than mindlessly murdering a man.
00:28It's not what Maz would have wanted.
00:31You make it sound like he's dead.
00:35Well, his bladder's dead, and it would be weird to say
00:38it's not what Maz's bladder would have wanted.
00:41I'm ready to kill.
00:42With an 80-unit injection of insulin,
00:44Lenny Kennedy will have a sudden glucose drop,
00:46experiencing confusion before major seizures
00:49leading to overheating and his brain to die.
00:52Oh. Well, unless he's a type 2 diabetic...
00:55Like Maz?
00:56..in which case it'll only make him stronger.
00:58What? I'm not diabetic.
01:02Hey, Maz. Get well soon, et cetera.
01:06I got you a little something,
01:08and I cut your favourite door or what?
01:10Well, that's a spice.
01:12What do I look like? A narrator?
01:16Oh, my God! That's it!
01:23What? All this violence makes me hungry.
01:27I've been running on watermelon vert fumes for two fucking days, man.
01:55I'll take care of the minibus guy when you get the kid off to her exam.
01:59If you want something killing properly, you can do it yourself.
02:04Sit your ass down and don't move.
02:13I have apologised for breaking your recorder, my darling.
02:18I'm sure they'll have a spare one you can use.
02:20All right?
02:25Enjoy your time with Uncle Mikey.
02:28And I'll be back before you can say...
02:32Fucking move!
02:33All right, then. Come on. This way.
02:36This way.
02:36Sorry.
02:42I know why we get Lenny.
02:45He planned...
02:47...sobite.
02:48We picked the pricks at death for the cactus.
02:50No, we...
02:51Drown him in curry. Face first in a big old vat.
02:53Anyone asked, we claim he was a hungry boy, and he slipped.
02:56No, we...
02:57We'll shoot him in his big, fat, bastard face.
03:00Then plant a tree in commemoration.
03:03Then piss on it.
03:05Oh, for fuck's sake, we planned...
03:08...the surprise on Lenny.
03:12My bag is full of it.
03:16And with the dirty money...
03:20...and Daphne.
03:22Those were important medical notes.
03:23I'll meet Lenny, begging forgiveness...
03:29...my sincerest apologies...
03:34...for dealing drugs in your town.
03:39That's perfectly okay.
03:41I forgive you.
03:43And thank you for being such a fabulous daughter-in-law.
03:47Let's hope now.
03:48But beneath the dirty money...
03:55...is Daphne...
03:57...and a kilo...
04:00...of...
04:01...spice...
04:03...directly...
04:04...connecting Lenny...
04:07...to the black's...
04:09...new supply line.
04:12So, what's my job?
04:14Harry can be my lockout.
04:28I shall take this bag of suspicious money away now.
04:31And they can alert their pellets...
04:35...with the rats to Lenny.
04:38Bye-bye.
04:40You're Nick, sunshine.
04:42Bad luck, old boy.
04:43With...
04:44...the...
04:45...bag.
04:46And then...
04:47...you and Max...
04:49...and Pat...
04:50...will leave...
04:52...town...
04:53...for a bit...
04:55...till the heat dies down.
05:00We'll be clear about drugs...
05:04...and we can...
05:06...finally...
05:07...go...
05:08...legit.
05:10OK?
05:12Wait, can you say that again?
05:16Oh, this is the way out!
05:21Emily?
05:22Not the way out!
05:24Where is he?
05:26Get out, man!
05:27Come in, please!
05:31Get out!
05:33Don't...
05:34...move.
05:35Get out!
05:36Don't move.
05:37Don't move.
05:41Hiya, love.
05:42I'm looking for Mazzy and me.
05:44Smuck him in last night.
05:45Nice fella.
05:46Stab wound.
05:49Look!
05:50They're a wine board!
05:54Don't move.
05:55Don't move.
05:58Daddy's acting weird again.
06:00I think I've seen your girlfriend.
06:01And nobody cares about my recorder exam!
06:09Right, let's go, man.
06:11Let's go.
06:15Here.
06:17It's dead, Daddy.
06:18It's dead, Daddy.
06:18That's it.
06:18It's dead.
06:19It's dead.
06:20It's all right, Daddy.
06:25Why don't everyone look the bastards same?
06:33Come on.
06:34Mate, you're doing all right?
06:36You know, like, no bladder and that.
06:38It's just, like, real life changing shit, you know?
06:42I'll be all right.
06:43I think we'll all have wee bags one day.
06:46Yeah.
06:47Save so much time.
06:49Yeah.
06:53There you go.
06:55I just went whilst making eye contact with you.
06:58Right.
07:01All right, come on.
07:02Let's go.
07:03Go, go, go, go, go, go.
07:08Come on.
07:11Hey, how are you in?
07:14PUSH!
07:15Well done, you.
07:17PUSH!
07:18PUSH!
07:18Oh, here we are.
07:19I can't be quite some time ago, Doctor.
07:21No, no, we're not.
07:22PUSH!
07:25Oh, my God.
07:26Is that thing the baby?
07:28That's her anus.
07:30She's doing a poo.
07:31Why?
07:39That can't be arse, Sean.
07:41It's not me.
07:42My name's...
07:46Sean.
07:48Well, it is me.
07:48We've not seen you in a while, love.
07:50Shall I pop a kettle up?
07:57Oi!
07:57Stop!
07:58Fuck!
08:00Oh!
08:01Make me be safe!
08:06Oh, mate.
08:09Just move, yeah?
08:10Oh, fuck!
08:16Fuck!
08:27Am I?
08:29Dad!
08:30It's not my blood.
08:33Isn't it strange?
08:35Fucking stay there, you.
08:36Yeah, mate!
08:37Excuse me, Pat.
08:39Fuck!
08:46We're too far gone for a section.
08:48Oh, we're too far, mate.
08:50We are at the second stage.
08:51So maybe a Bontu's advisable?
08:53Oh, yeah, right.
08:54Me old friend Bontalu.
08:55Yeah, nice and hot, like.
08:57Yeah.
08:57Er, what?
08:59Er, always gets things moving for me.
09:01Did you just say Bontalu?
09:02What is that?
09:03It's, erm...
09:04It's the same word.
09:06Thing.
09:06Bontu.
09:07It's the thing what you said.
09:09Er, vacuum.
09:10Er, vacuum extraction.
09:11You want to suck the baby out of that big old gash?
09:13Oh, God, I've messed up, haven't I?
09:20What the fuck am I looking at now?
09:22Doctor, you need to deliver this baby.
09:24I'm...
09:24I'm sorry, I can't.
09:26I'm just not ready.
09:27It's all right.
09:28It's all right.
09:28Don't worry.
09:29Maz, mate.
09:30Shall we do this?
09:32Er...
09:33Yeah, yeah.
09:33I...
09:34I'm not nervous.
09:40Right, all me back.
09:41All bit.
09:42Give it me.
09:43Bump.
09:43Bump action.
09:46Er...
09:46I'm sure I bought some of my like this off Kangol.
09:49You said that he'd help me with me...
09:50confidence issues.
09:52It's all one to me too, man.
09:54Didn't fucking work!
09:55I'm sorry.
09:57I'm sorry about that.
10:14You are so fucked, little lady.
10:20I have...
10:22I have...
10:22I have...
10:22I have...
10:23I have...
10:25a gun.
10:26I have...
10:27a gun.
10:42I have...
10:44a gun.
10:47After you fuckface.
10:50Oh, no.
10:53You have got some elephantine bollocks
10:55fucking about on my streets.
10:58What are you doing?
11:00Stop that.
11:01My apologies for dealing drugs in your town.
11:09I hate dealers like you.
11:11You fuckers.
11:13You spread misery like it was butter.
11:16I have kept this town clean for years.
11:19There are rules.
11:20Clear, simple rules.
11:23Why the fuck doesn't anybody get that?
11:26You're very welcome to buy my good, clean weed.
11:30You're very welcome to snort my good, clean jack.
11:34But if you want to huff some evil fucker's spice
11:37or inject shitty heroin into your penis
11:40so you end up with an infection
11:42and the NHS amputate your legs
11:44and you face a life of begging
11:46lying on the pavement drooling,
11:48then fuck off to Hull.
11:52Agreed.
11:53Hull is shit.
12:01The baby looks distressed, Sceptre.
12:03The baby's distressed.
12:04Come on, I'm fucking distressed.
12:06Get out.
12:07Get out.
12:15That's it.
12:16I'm gonna vomit.
12:18Don't you dare throw up in that open wound.
12:22Now, before I begin a procedure,
12:24would the patient please consent
12:25to a group of student doctors witnessing with you?
12:36Would you stop that?
12:41Excuse me.
12:43Do you work here?
12:44No.
12:45I mean, yes.
12:46I work here.
12:47Um, yeah.
12:49Welcome.
12:51Is this recorder for sale?
12:52Um, yes.
12:54Um, it's foodie pens.
12:56Um, let me put in the case for you.
13:03Daddy?
13:04Yes?
13:05Why am I getting calls from my sister
13:07saying she's been abandoned?
13:08She has her exam in 20 minutes.
13:10And what the hell's going on here?
13:14Oh, here you are.
13:16Um, um, this is for you.
13:21It's a new recorder, love, for your exam.
13:25And this lovely bunny is for you.
13:27And it's for me too.
13:30It's a giant present.
13:34From you?
13:34No, it isn't.
13:38God, I'll go away.
13:40Bye!
13:40Oh, oh, oh, no.
13:43Bye!
13:46Yeah, bye.
13:47Bye.
13:49Just text me later then, Em, yeah?
13:54What?
13:58Fuck it, man!
13:59Fuck it!
14:01That door opens, yeah?
14:02You get in there, look like you fucking belong there, man.
14:04I don't, I don't really think
14:06I'm up to delivering another baby today.
14:08I see you then!
14:10Come on.
14:12You're mine.
14:14All right, mate.
14:15I can't get better.
14:21Hey, old big fella!
14:23That almost did it.
14:31Oh, God!
14:42Welcome to the inerection.
14:45Sanctum!
14:46Sanctum.
14:48Why are you covered in, in jam?
14:51It's the blood of a stranger.
14:55Why are you covered in jam?
14:59Also the blood of a stranger.
15:01Oh, yeah, man.
15:02Open this fucking door!
15:07Where from?
15:07I will tear this slab of dead fucking tree
15:10off its fucking inches, you fuckers!
15:15Excuse me, Mr. Kennedy.
15:17Oh, you all right?
15:19Oh, oh!
15:22Oh!
15:23Oh!
15:24Ash, you're so stupid, you fuckheads!
15:28It's Jack Nicholson, man.
15:31Quick, quick!
15:32Give me Daphne now!
15:33Easy, come on!
15:35Really?
15:36That slag gets about.
15:37They won't even be able to find
15:39the little random bits of you,
15:41you dead fucks!
15:43Fucks!
15:44Boss!
15:45Boss!
15:46Excuse me, sir.
15:47May I ask what you're doing?
15:49Fuck off, piggy!
15:51Daddy's busy!
15:53Boss!
15:54Rack up!
15:55You fucking bastard!
15:58Police!
16:00Police!
16:01Open up!
16:01He's out still.
16:03For the money and...
16:05Right.
16:07For the...
16:07Open the door!
16:09You took the rat from me
16:13at school.
16:15I went to my door.
16:18Fuck that, man.
16:19Right.
16:20We both got...
16:22Yeah.
16:23You and you, man.
16:24We both got...
16:26Are you sure?
16:27Yeah, man.
16:29Yeah, man.
16:32I think I'll do
16:34all right in prison.
16:36I've always wanted
16:38to be someone's bitch.
16:42At least I finally get laid, man.
16:49Right.
16:55Fuck off.
16:58Fine.
16:59Let's go.
17:01Step out slowly.
17:02Show me your hands.
17:09A toast
17:10to our heroic doctors.
17:12Where with me
17:13and little Ewan
17:15minibus Mazze
17:16Thompson be without you.
17:17Cheers.
17:19I ain't worn this suit
17:20since the day
17:21you got stabbed
17:21a lot of times
17:22in bladder, man.
17:23I haven't worn this suit
17:24last time I was in court
17:25for double manslaughter.
17:26Got away with it, though,
17:27didn't I?
17:28Funny times.
17:30Yeah.
17:30I mean, mate.
17:32What?
17:33You got away with it?
17:37Hello?
17:39Joe speaking.
17:42Yeah.
17:45So,
17:46have you two,
17:47you know,
17:55have you fucked?
17:56Oh, um,
17:59ooh,
18:00uh,
18:01yeah,
18:01yeah,
18:02um,
18:03road,
18:04exhausting.
18:12Babe, no.
18:14Uh-uh.
18:15Sorry.
18:17It's non-stop.
18:20Yeah,
18:20yeah,
18:22yeah,
18:22um,
18:25no.
18:26Oh, mate,
18:26you could be getting
18:27railroaded by a 60-year-old
18:28farmer dinner later
18:29called Tiny
18:29in Prison Bog right now.
18:31I know.
18:32What a shame.
18:34Right,
18:35finish that,
18:36then get out.
18:50Um,
18:51you're finished.
18:52Get out.
18:53Thank you very much.
18:54Twat.
18:57So it's
18:58going well
18:59with you
19:00and Leo,
19:02then.
19:03She's still annoyed
19:03because of,
19:04you know,
19:06murder.
19:07What murder?
19:07Murdered me
19:08bladder.
19:08I was ready
19:11to go down
19:13with you,
19:14you know.
19:16I still
19:17cannot
19:18believe
19:19we got
19:20away with it.
19:23It's her.
19:24This is her
19:25fucking gun.
19:26Down.
19:26He's got a gun.
19:27No.
19:28It's my
19:29bag.
19:31You.
19:32You.
19:33Fucking hell,
19:34you're still going
19:35and that's my bag,
19:36man,
19:37not her.
19:37Check that bag
19:38and search
19:39them.
19:43Oh,
19:44for fuck's sake.
19:45Bye,
19:46Laura.
19:47I'm sorry,
19:48Dad.
19:52It's clear.
19:53Nothing on them.
19:55What?
19:56Check the
19:57recorder case.
19:58I should check
19:59the recorder case.
20:04Gotcha.
20:05Why am I
20:06getting calls
20:06from my sister
20:07saying she's
20:07been abandoned?
20:08She has her
20:08exam in 20 minutes.
20:09And what
20:10the hell's
20:11going on here?
20:12I should have
20:13known it was you.
20:15See you in a decade.
20:16Take them away.
20:17You're welcome.
20:18You're amazing.
20:20Can you see
20:20into the future?
20:21Do I ever learn
20:22to swim?
20:23Do me and
20:23mys ever make
20:24it to
20:24moon slash
20:24mys?
20:25Will I
20:25have them
20:26not be
20:26lonely?
20:27Do dog
20:27shoes ever
20:28take off?
20:29Will they
20:29die naked?
20:30Or in
20:30pyjamas?
20:31Actually,
20:32no,
20:32no,
20:32no,
20:32don't tell
20:33me.
20:33Don't tell
20:33me.
20:34I want it
20:35to be a
20:35surprise.
20:37OK.
20:39Uh,
20:40pints.
20:42Hey,
20:43where's
20:43everyone's
20:44favourite
20:44mentally ill
20:45alcoholic?
20:46Gando?
20:47No,
20:48the other
20:48one.
20:51Oh,
20:52Sean.
20:53Oh,
20:53yeah.
20:54There,
20:54now.
21:12Cheers.
21:17You know
21:18what?
21:18I could get
21:19used to this
21:19muck.
21:20Well done,
21:21everyone.
21:21We got out
21:22of the drugs
21:22game entirely
21:23healthy,
21:24other than
21:26the lost
21:26bladder,
21:27just like
21:28the sex
21:29worker slash
21:30teacher played
21:31by Talentson
21:32Althwaite in
21:32episode 748
21:34of The Bill.
21:36Cheers.
21:36Cheers.
21:38You bastard
21:39grass.
21:48Are we
21:50even?
21:51Yep.
21:52Pint.
21:53Pint.
21:55So,
21:56where were we?
22:00Hello,
22:01you in.
22:03No,
22:04no,
22:04no,
22:05no.
22:08Drugs.
22:09Crikey
22:10mousics.
22:15Yes.
22:20Bastards.
22:20You make me
22:21miss my
22:22fucking yoga class.
22:23Let's go.
22:24You'll be okay.
22:28I believe you,
22:29Daddy.
22:29You're my
22:30little choochie face,
22:31and I'll always
22:32be your teddy
22:33man.
22:35Now,
22:36go and
22:37destroy the
22:38cunts.
22:58Gov,
22:59there's someone
23:00here to see you.
23:01Hello there.
23:03This might be a
23:05slightly unusual
23:05request,
23:06but
23:10I need you
23:11to arrest
23:13me daughter.
23:13Govt.
23:17Gov,
23:18go obvi.
23:19Gov,
23:19Gov toe,
23:24Go,...
23:43Govan,
23:43go with me. Go on
23:43Go on and
23:43You
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