- 7 hours ago
Matrimoney
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:01What?
00:00:02Yeah, and I can't marry someone who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:00:05Well, at least I don't pose in my tighty-whities for money.
00:00:07Here, place your mind.
00:00:09I'm not staying in the doghouse.
00:00:12Ahem.
00:00:13Can you guys just keep it down?
00:00:14I have work tomorrow morning.
00:00:16Sorry.
00:00:17Hey, Amelia.
00:00:20Looks like someone needs obedience school.
00:00:23Are you gonna let him talk to me like that, Amelia?
00:00:25You started.
00:00:26Asshole!
00:00:26Crazy bitch!
00:00:28You told her?!
00:00:29She's my sister!
00:00:30I don't care!
00:00:30That violates our agreement!
00:00:32How?!
00:00:32What the fuck?!
00:00:36What?!
00:00:36Michelangelo?
00:00:38Oh...
00:00:40You're such a hypocrite!
00:00:41I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement!
00:00:43I fucking hate you!
00:00:45I fucking hate you more!
00:00:53How was it?
00:00:55Well...
00:00:56That was the best sex I've ever had in my life.
00:01:01Wait.
00:01:01What are you doing?
00:01:02That is an original.
00:01:03I'm so sick of your bullshit!
00:01:06Oh, fine!
00:01:07I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient Rome, and get another one!
00:01:10I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion.
00:01:13You're treating me like shit!
00:01:16That's from the Renaissance!
00:01:17You are history's worst nightmare!
00:01:19I tried to make this work with you.
00:01:20We signed a contract!
00:01:21For an arranged marriage!
00:01:23Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:01:27You are such a simpleton!
00:01:30Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
00:01:33Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat!
00:01:35I tried to get along with you!
00:01:36You brought this onto yourself!
00:01:38I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement!
00:01:40Right back at you!
00:01:42I fucking hate you!
00:01:43I fucking hate you more!
00:02:06So, you were arrested.
00:02:09Again.
00:02:12To be fair, we thought I was leaving, we'll just swim there.
00:02:15There is a fence around that reservoir.
00:02:18It says here that you broke in using bolt cutters.
00:02:24If I had known you invited me over here to lecture me, I wouldn't have came.
00:02:30Come on, Gucci.
00:02:31Come on.
00:02:33Good boy.
00:02:35Oh!
00:02:40Come on, Gucci.
00:02:41Let's go.
00:02:42Hey, Maria.
00:02:45Hey, Jane.
00:02:50Come on, Gucci.
00:02:51Let's go.
00:02:56You know, every time the paparazzi catch you acting crazy, it reflects on me.
00:03:02It reflects on the company that your mother and I built with our bare hands.
00:03:06The same one that pays for your ridiculous lifestyle.
00:03:10I make my own money.
00:03:11Oh, you see, you see.
00:03:14Underwear modeling, Lord.
00:03:15I am the spokesperson for man-thome.
00:03:18That means free underwear for life.
00:03:20For life.
00:03:22Some parents would be proud.
00:03:23Yeah?
00:03:23Other parents would be prouder if you went to your real job now and then.
00:03:28You are next up to be CEO at Dino Verlino Cosmetics.
00:03:32Now, how can I give you that job if you keep acting like a Kardashian, huh?
00:03:38Well, don't forget the meeting this afternoon, alright?
00:03:41And don't be late.
00:03:44Bye, Dad.
00:03:54Excuse me.
00:04:03Hello, my Gucci.
00:04:06Why won't Michelangelo just grow up, huh?
00:04:09Used to settle down and find himself a nice girl, huh?
00:04:14Like you, Amelia.
00:04:16Good one, Romulus.
00:04:34These are great.
00:04:36I still don't have what I'm looking for.
00:04:39Do you guys mind staying a little longer?
00:04:41No problem.
00:04:42Cool.
00:04:43Let's take five and then I want to see you in that leopard print.
00:04:50Hi.
00:04:51I'm Michelangelo.
00:04:53Chantal.
00:04:54Nice to meet you.
00:04:56I...
00:04:57couldn't notice how hot you are.
00:04:59I've got tickets to the premiere...
00:05:04Hold that thought.
00:05:07Hey, Dad.
00:05:08Where the hell were ya?
00:05:11Dad, I'm on a photo shoot.
00:05:13You're supposed to be at the office.
00:05:15Geppetto came here all the way from Milano.
00:05:18I can meet him later.
00:05:19Ah, two ladies back on the plane again.
00:05:21Well, you're the one who planned the meeting during my shoot.
00:05:24Michelangelo, you are 31 years old.
00:05:27You gotta stop acting like an idiot teenager.
00:05:29You could be running the world's largest cosmetic company right now.
00:05:33You interned.
00:05:33You went to business school.
00:05:35You...
00:05:36You have potential, okay?
00:05:38But you say you wanna be the CEO?
00:05:40Well, you're gonna have to prove it.
00:05:41Cause so far...
00:05:43I ain't seen the end tape from you.
00:05:46Bye, Dad.
00:05:50Hey.
00:05:51You okay?
00:05:53Yeah.
00:05:55Um...
00:05:55But...
00:05:56I'd be a lot better if you'd go out with me tonight.
00:06:10So, it's a really rare form of cancer.
00:06:17Luckily, my doctors did catch it early.
00:06:20Oh my god.
00:06:21There is an experimental treatment.
00:06:25But it's really expensive.
00:06:27And the insurance doesn't cover it.
00:06:30Don't worry about that.
00:06:32I have money saved.
00:06:34I'll find the rest.
00:06:36We will figure this out, okay?
00:06:37We're gonna get through this.
00:06:39Together.
00:06:53Yeah.
00:06:54Ciao, Gucci.
00:06:56Did she have a good walk?
00:07:01What's wrong?
00:07:05Yeah.
00:07:07I'm sorry.
00:07:08This...
00:07:09No, no.
00:07:09Forget about it.
00:07:10I'm sorry about your sister.
00:07:12The treatments are just really expensive.
00:07:15I have a savings.
00:07:16For my doggy daycare.
00:07:18My dream, but...
00:07:22It's only enough for one treatment.
00:07:24And who knows how many she's gonna need.
00:07:26Betsy practically raised us.
00:07:29After her parents passed,
00:07:31I would do anything for her.
00:07:35Amelia.
00:07:36I think I might know how to get you that money.
00:07:40You do?
00:07:42Come back tonight.
00:07:44And, uh...
00:07:46Make something nice.
00:07:49Come on, baby.
00:07:58Oh, Amelia, you look bellissima.
00:08:03Except for the dog hair.
00:08:06Well, come with me.
00:08:08I have someone I want you to meet.
00:08:10Are they from Italy?
00:08:12Yes.
00:08:13Wow.
00:08:13Yes, of course, everything's from Italy here.
00:08:17Well...
00:08:18Amelia, meet Michelangelo, my son.
00:08:22I believe you both bumped into each other yesterday, huh?
00:08:25Yeah.
00:08:26Aren't you the cleaning lady?
00:08:27I'm a dog walker.
00:08:29Don't be so defensive.
00:08:32I wasn't.
00:08:37Well, I suppose I'll let you two get acquainted.
00:08:40I have some unfinished business to do.
00:08:42Why don't you give yourself a glass of vino?
00:08:45Amelia.
00:08:47Arrivederci, huh?
00:08:48Hmm.
00:08:55Do you want to do me a favor?
00:09:02What, exactly?
00:09:10How does it look?
00:09:12Not half bad.
00:09:13I mean...
00:09:14It's fine.
00:09:15Whatever.
00:09:19Let's do some sexy moves, okay?
00:09:22Or not.
00:09:23I don't feel like being your photographer all night.
00:09:25You work for my dad.
00:09:27You have to do what I say.
00:09:28You don't look like Romulus to me.
00:09:31Just a few more pictures.
00:09:33I'm not here to update your Tinder profile.
00:09:35I don't need Tinder.
00:09:36I'm an underwear model.
00:09:37My DMs are flooded like Florida in a hurricane.
00:09:41Whatever.
00:09:41Whatever.
00:09:46Pour me another.
00:09:48I told you I'm...
00:09:52Fine.
00:09:59See?
00:10:00Dog walker.
00:10:01That wasn't so hard.
00:10:05What the fuck?
00:10:06This is fucking product!
00:10:12Oh!
00:10:13Asshole!
00:10:14You crazy bitch!
00:10:18Amelia!
00:10:20What's wrong?
00:10:21I asked her to pour me another drink,
00:10:23and she flipped out!
00:10:25I'm sorry, Romulus,
00:10:26but your son is a prick.
00:10:28I'm gonna be leaving.
00:10:28No, no, no, please.
00:10:29I apologize.
00:10:31My son, he's just immature.
00:10:33Alright?
00:10:33And that's why I invited you.
00:10:35Port forwarding.
00:10:37Please.
00:10:38Alright?
00:10:39Just have a seat, alright?
00:10:40And I promise,
00:10:41he'll be on his best behavior
00:10:42for the rest of the night.
00:10:43Won't you, son?
00:10:45So, Amelia needs money
00:10:47to pay for her sister's cancer treatment.
00:10:50Cancer?
00:10:52Yeah.
00:10:53And you need to settle down
00:10:54and prove that you're worthy
00:10:55of running the family business.
00:10:57Make my own money, Dad.
00:11:00Okay.
00:11:01I want the business.
00:11:03I think we can, uh,
00:11:06make a deal
00:11:06whereby everyone gets what they want.
00:11:10What kind of deal?
00:11:12Well, it's nothing crazy.
00:11:15No.
00:11:16You two just have to get married, that's all.
00:11:19What?
00:11:21What?
00:11:22Romulus,
00:11:23what are you saying?
00:11:24I can't marry the male Paris Hilton.
00:11:26Yeah, and I can't marry someone
00:11:28who picks up dog crap for a living.
00:11:30Well, at least I don't pose
00:11:31in my tidy whities for money.
00:11:33Look, you have to grow up
00:11:36before you can run out business.
00:11:38And the best way to do that
00:11:39is to get married.
00:11:40We're not even a match.
00:11:42We hate each other.
00:11:43At least I do.
00:11:44Obviously.
00:11:45I see.
00:11:46There's something uncommon already.
00:11:49Look, you know,
00:11:50my wife and I,
00:11:51we were opposites.
00:11:53We were like pizza
00:11:54and Hawaiian pizza.
00:11:57She sure drove me crazy
00:11:58when we first met her.
00:12:01I know you're probably thinking
00:12:02I'm just some old fool, huh,
00:12:03but I learned a thing or two
00:12:05in 70 years.
00:12:07You two have chemistry.
00:12:09Yeah, like a nuclear bomb.
00:12:11As if.
00:12:13Romulus, isn't there another way?
00:12:14I don't want to be miserable
00:12:16for the rest of my life.
00:12:17Amelia, you do want to help
00:12:18your sister, don't you?
00:12:20Or you'll be able to afford
00:12:21the treatment
00:12:22if you just agree
00:12:24to this arrangement.
00:12:30What's it gonna be?
00:12:34What's it gonna be?
00:12:38Fine.
00:12:39I'll do it.
00:12:41For Betsy.
00:12:45Well,
00:12:46Angelou,
00:12:47it's not polite
00:12:47to keep a lovely lady waiting.
00:12:49If you're not gonna agree
00:12:50to marry her,
00:12:51then you're gonna lose
00:12:54the business.
00:12:55And you're also gonna lose
00:12:57your inheritance.
00:12:58What the hell, Dad?
00:13:02Fuck it.
00:13:03Fine.
00:13:04I'll do it.
00:13:04Now, let's just go into the office now.
00:13:09The lorries have already
00:13:10drafted the contract.
00:13:11And son, we're gonna need
00:13:13some champagne.
00:13:15I read my mind.
00:13:16Try and make yourself look decent.
00:13:21You will be engaged for a period
00:13:23of 30 days.
00:13:24Followed by a wedding planned by me.
00:13:27And I'll tell you,
00:13:28it's gonna be a big one
00:13:29for the ages, too.
00:13:31I hope the Hollywood Bowl's
00:13:32not booked.
00:13:33Anyway,
00:13:35you must move in together
00:13:36immediately
00:13:36to avoid any suspicion,
00:13:38you know.
00:13:39Look, there's nothing wrong
00:13:40with an arranged marriage,
00:13:42but, well,
00:13:43it can't do any good
00:13:44if word got out to the public,
00:13:45right?
00:13:46That's why this has to be
00:13:47our own secret.
00:13:49While we agreed.
00:13:51Sure.
00:13:52Alright.
00:13:53Sign in.
00:14:12Salute
00:14:14to the new couple.
00:14:24So.
00:14:26Your place or mine?
00:14:27I'm not staying at a doghouse.
00:14:29Fine.
00:14:30Then we'll stay at yours.
00:14:41So this is Michelangelo's place.
00:14:45It's like a museum in here.
00:14:47A Michelangelo Museum.
00:14:49Ugh.
00:15:11Whoa.
00:15:12What was this?
00:15:13Put it in the trash.
00:15:15This isn't trash.
00:15:16These are my sisters.
00:15:17She's an artist.
00:15:18So we'll put them in your room.
00:15:20I said you could live here,
00:15:21not decorate.
00:15:22Oh, I'm sorry.
00:15:23Is it clashing with your banana hammock?
00:15:25That's man-thong.
00:15:26It's trademarked.
00:15:32Look,
00:15:32I gotta go meet somebody.
00:15:34If this isn't cleaned up by the time I get back,
00:15:35we'll throw it all in the fireplace.
00:15:38It's electric.
00:15:43Oh, by the way.
00:15:46This is gonna work.
00:15:48You might wanna start wearing that.
00:15:51Gee, thanks.
00:15:53Welcome.
00:16:00You're getting married?
00:16:02Shh, Betsy.
00:16:03Don't tell the whole world.
00:16:05I'm sorry, Amelia.
00:16:07It's just...
00:16:08It's not like you.
00:16:10You're saying we're...
00:16:11Reserved.
00:16:13Safe.
00:16:14Like I always taught you.
00:16:18Well, things change when you find out your sister has cancer.
00:16:22And besides, Michelangelo offered to help pay for some of your treatments.
00:16:26So, I'm okay with a quick proposal.
00:16:29Michelangelo?
00:16:31The Ninja Turtle?
00:16:33No.
00:16:35Michelangelo...
00:16:36Dino Valeno?
00:16:37Maybe you've heard of him?
00:16:39Michelangelo Dino Valeno?!
00:16:41Shhh!
00:16:46Socialite Manual has, like, started a hundred canceled Bravo shows?
00:16:50How did you even meet?
00:16:51His dad is one of my clients.
00:16:55It's been a whirlwind of a romance.
00:17:00He's so...toxic.
00:17:02Speak of the devil?
00:17:05Oh, yeah.
00:17:07You know, that's probably an old issue.
00:17:10This is a doctor's office.
00:17:13Amelia.
00:17:16Betsy Carlisle?
00:17:18Doctor's ready.
00:17:20We'll talk about this later.
00:17:43We're just gonna wet, baby.
00:17:46We're already wet.
00:17:48Yeah.
00:17:51Ah, that came every corner.
00:18:03Where did that come from?
00:18:31Nice place.
00:18:32I love your artwork.
00:18:33Thanks.
00:18:35Finally.
00:18:36Ooh, good taste.
00:18:40Oh, I'm good.
00:18:41We had plenty at dinner.
00:18:43More for me.
00:18:47You know, if you like it down here, you should see the bedroom.
00:19:03Who are you?
00:19:05Who are you?
00:19:07Chantel, this is Amelia, my roommate.
00:19:13Whatever.
00:19:14Can you guys just keep it down?
00:19:16I have work tomorrow morning.
00:19:18This is my house?
00:19:20We will be as loud as we want to be.
00:19:23Scream at the top of our lungs!
00:19:26You've got to be kidding me.
00:19:28What's wrong with dog walker?
00:19:30He's jealous.
00:19:32Jealous?
00:19:33I'm not jealous.
00:19:36Sweet dreams.
00:19:44I can't believe he said I was jealous.
00:19:46How could I ever want to be with a party boy like him?
00:19:50Even if he is kinda hot.
00:20:10See you later.
00:20:12And, um, don't worry about last night.
00:20:16Sorry.
00:20:17I had one so many to drink it.
00:20:18It won't happen again.
00:20:19Better not.
00:20:31How's the hangover, roomie?
00:20:34Not now.
00:20:35My head's killing me.
00:20:36We need to talk about last night.
00:20:38No.
00:20:38What we need to do is order a three egg omelet and home fries.
00:20:42I don't care if you're fooling around with your bimbos.
00:20:45Monogamy wasn't in the contract.
00:20:47But your dad doesn't want people knowing that this is an arranged marriage.
00:20:50And you made it pretty clear to that girl last night that you don't care about me.
00:20:53Fine.
00:20:53I'll have her sign an NDA.
00:20:55Just give me my phone.
00:20:56My sister needs this money.
00:21:01My sister needs this money, Michelangelo.
00:21:05And if the paparazzi find out about this, then the contract is violated.
00:21:11Then neither of us get what we want.
00:21:15Then the contract is violated.
00:21:17Then neither of us get what we want.
00:21:18Yeah, no shit.
00:21:20I'm serious.
00:21:21Get what we want.
00:21:21Yeah, no shit.
00:21:23I'm serious.
00:21:24Don't screw this up.
00:21:27Don't screw this up.
00:21:30I've been dealing with paparazzi since I was a teenager.
00:21:36I know what I'm doing.
00:21:37Dog walker.
00:21:39I know what I'm doing.
00:21:40Dog walker.
00:21:41And just so we're clear, I will fuck whoever I want.
00:21:44And just so we're clear, I will fuck whoever I want.
00:21:47Whenever I want.
00:21:49Wherever I want.
00:21:50Fine.
00:21:51Do whatever you want.
00:21:54I'm sorry.
00:21:55It's a bit harsh.
00:21:59I'm sorry.
00:22:00It's a bit harsh.
00:22:02I'm sorry.
00:22:02I'm just...
00:22:04Really...
00:22:06Really...
00:22:07Hungover.
00:22:10Hungover.
00:22:11Hungover.
00:22:13That could've gone better.
00:22:15That could've gone better.
00:22:21Hello.
00:22:24Hello.
00:22:25Hey, baby.
00:22:28Hey, baby.
00:22:30You know, you don't have to keep working, Amelia.
00:22:32You're rich.
00:22:33You don't have to keep working, Amelia.
00:22:35You're rich now.
00:22:37I know.
00:22:38I like it.
00:22:39I know.
00:22:40I like it.
00:22:42It's good to hear.
00:22:43You know, I just hope that your work ethic rubs off on my son.
00:22:47It rubs off on my son.
00:22:50Tell me, uh, how are things going between the two of you, huh?
00:22:53How are things going between the two of you, huh?
00:22:56Oh, fine.
00:22:57Yeah.
00:22:58We're...
00:22:59Oh.
00:23:02Fine.
00:23:03Yeah.
00:23:03We're still getting to know each other.
00:23:05All right.
00:23:06Well, give him time.
00:23:07We're still getting to know each other.
00:23:08All right.
00:23:09Well, give him time, all right?
00:23:10Oh, and listen.
00:23:12He is not as bad as TMZ says, all right?
00:23:15Look, I...
00:23:15I promise.
00:23:17I wouldn't be so sure.
00:23:18Yeah.
00:23:19You're right.
00:23:21Well, we'll see you later.
00:23:22Yeah.
00:23:23Come on, Gucci.
00:23:24Yeah.
00:23:24Come on.
00:23:25Bye, Gooch.
00:23:29Hey, Amelia.
00:23:30Hey, Jake.
00:23:33Gucci, no!
00:23:34Royce!
00:23:36It's a bad dog, but...
00:23:38I'm not actually mad about this.
00:23:40It's to see you up close for once.
00:23:42Yeah.
00:23:43Same here.
00:23:51Sorry.
00:23:52Gucci's, um...
00:23:53A bit crazy.
00:23:54His whole family, actually.
00:23:57All these rich people are nuts.
00:23:59They should make a reality show.
00:24:01The little dog owners of Beverly Hills.
00:24:05Do you want to walk together?
00:24:07Let these two get to know each other?
00:24:09Yeah.
00:24:10I'd like that.
00:24:17So, how long have you been a dog walker?
00:24:20A couple months.
00:24:21I like it.
00:24:22I had a bunch of terrible gigs before.
00:24:24Barista.
00:24:26Uber driver.
00:24:27Delivery guy.
00:24:29Movie extra?
00:24:30Movie extra?
00:24:31You were in a movie.
00:24:32Actually, it was a toothpaste commercial.
00:24:34Just trying to impress you.
00:24:36How about you?
00:24:37How long have you been doing this?
00:24:39I don't know.
00:24:40My whole life, I guess.
00:24:42It started as a summer job, and then I turned it into my own business.
00:24:46I want to open a doggy daycare someday.
00:24:48Wow.
00:24:49I guess you really like dogs.
00:24:51Well, they're easier to hang out with than humans sometimes.
00:24:56If you want to hang out with this human sometime.
00:24:59My band's playing at the Echoplex a lot.
00:25:02Do you want to go?
00:25:04I kind of have to admit, I had a crush on you.
00:25:09You did?
00:25:11Yeah.
00:25:13I still do.
00:25:17He's cute.
00:25:17I wish he'd asked me out before I got legally engaged.
00:25:21Then again, that fuckboy has been out having fun.
00:25:28I'd love to go to the concert.
00:25:30Hell yeah.
00:25:32I mean, uh, regular.
00:25:34Yeah.
00:25:37I know it's risky, but I'm not a socialite like Michelangelo.
00:25:41I won't have to worry about paparazzi spotting me at the show.
00:25:45Hey, what's your ring?
00:25:48Um, it's just a class ring.
00:25:51From high school.
00:25:53Looks pretty big.
00:25:55It was a big school.
00:25:57Public schools.
00:25:58Am I right?
00:26:04I mean, it kind of looks like an engagement ring.
00:26:08Me?
00:26:09Engaged?
00:26:09No.
00:26:10Are you kidding?
00:26:11I'm 24.
00:26:12I'm practically still a baby.
00:26:13I mean, I should be wearing diapers, crawling around, drooling.
00:26:18Nope.
00:26:18Single and ready to mingle.
00:26:21Okay.
00:26:25Royce pooped.
00:26:26I should pick it up.
00:26:27Where?
00:26:28I don't see it.
00:26:29Just over there.
00:26:37Do I have to wear a suit every day?
00:26:39Of course.
00:26:40It's an office.
00:26:41You want to be CEO?
00:26:42You got to look the part.
00:26:44You mean like, you look like Willy Wonka without the chocolate factory?
00:26:49Very funny.
00:26:50You know I'm retiring next year.
00:26:51Yes, I know.
00:26:52Yeah.
00:26:52That means you got to get up to speed, rapidamente.
00:26:55So today you're going to be my shadow, you'll be my extra hands, and we got a lot to do.
00:26:59Can I get Starbucks first?
00:27:00Fuck no.
00:27:01No.
00:27:01Come on, Dad.
00:27:11Wow!
00:27:15Oh my goodness.
00:27:16Are you okay?
00:27:18Hi.
00:27:19I'm Michelangelo.
00:27:25You're engaged, remember?
00:27:28And this is our new palette.
00:27:31It's Matt's collection.
00:27:33He really liked these colors, so we did them twice.
00:27:37But yeah, that's the presentation for me, Michelangelo.
00:27:49What, Dad?
00:27:52What a day, Dad.
00:27:53It's not even lunchtime yet.
00:27:55Look at you.
00:27:56You got so lazy just sitting around taking pictures of yourself all the time.
00:28:00Just stick with it, will you, kid?
00:28:02Hard work does pay off.
00:28:04Let me just look at Amelia.
00:28:06What about her?
00:28:07She comes from nothing, son.
00:28:09Nobody taught her how to run a business, but she just worked hard.
00:28:12And now, well, now she earns money doing what she loves.
00:28:16I guess that's impressive.
00:28:18Yeah, I see.
00:28:19See, it is.
00:28:19I hope she rubs off on you a little, you know?
00:28:23I just hope I don't get that uptight.
00:28:30Break's over.
00:28:47Well, not too bad, huh?
00:28:49One day down.
00:28:51Forty more years to go.
00:28:55Now, this is the time when you go home with Amelia, you talk about the day's work,
00:29:01raise you closer together, comfort each other just like your mom and I used to do.
00:29:08You know, I'm thinking, it's time for the world to meet Amelia tonight.
00:29:15Tonight.
00:29:16Tonight?
00:29:18Tonight?
00:29:18Shit.
00:29:19When am I going to tell Chantel?
00:29:20I promised we'd Netflix a bang tonight.
00:29:22The L.A. Zoo fundraiser.
00:29:24Lights, camera, red carpet.
00:29:26Perfect time to announce our lovely new addition to the Dean of Dina app.
00:29:30Now, don't you think it's a bit soon, Dad?
00:29:34I mean, we just signed the contract.
00:29:37What's the matter?
00:29:38You two are getting along, aren't you?
00:29:40Yeah, yeah.
00:29:41We're just really starting to warm up to each other.
00:29:44Alright, so it's all settled.
00:29:46I'll see you at eight o'clock tonight in the limo and don't be late.
00:29:54Why, Dad?
00:30:06So, remind me, why are we getting makeovers done again?
00:30:11Because I want to do something nice for my favorite big sister.
00:30:16And...
00:30:17And...
00:30:18You know I never splurge on stuff like this.
00:30:20But, since I'm part of the Dina Lavino family now,
00:30:24I think I can afford to let my hair down.
00:30:26You better not let that hair down.
00:30:28Sorry, just an expression.
00:30:37How's it going in there?
00:30:38I'm coming out!
00:30:49How's it going in there?
00:30:50That bad?
00:30:51I've never seen a dog walker look this hot.
00:30:56Buy that dress.
00:30:58ASAP.
00:31:02Leave me alone, party boy.
00:31:04I've got my own function tonight.
00:31:10Come in there
00:31:12who's old and old. But to the
00:31:14dyullie. On. If
00:31:32you are
00:31:32needing everything... Always happy!
00:31:33There's me
00:31:34taking this mind. Anyway. Who's
00:31:40What are you looking at?
00:31:43You're spilling all over yourself.
00:31:44Oh, thanks.
00:31:47Um, I...
00:31:48Did you forget my name?
00:31:50No, it's just something different.
00:31:54Did you change your hair?
00:31:55Why do you care?
00:31:57The manwhorehouse is yours tonight.
00:31:59I'm going out.
00:31:59I just forgot my charger.
00:32:01Awesome, thanks.
00:32:04I'm taking this.
00:32:06Wait, I've been calling you.
00:32:08We're supposed to go to a fundraiser.
00:32:09I told you, I'm busy.
00:32:11Hold on.
00:32:14Amelia!
00:32:22All right, hey, look who's right on time.
00:32:25Nice.
00:32:27Where's Amelia?
00:32:29She's sick.
00:32:30She can't make it.
00:32:32Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, no.
00:32:34If your fiancé's sick, you know, you can't go out and party.
00:32:37Yeah, you got to stay home with her.
00:32:39Give her some nice soup.
00:32:42I'll catch both of you for the next one.
00:32:44Tell Amelia that I hope she feels better soon.
00:32:46Poor thing.
00:32:48Okay, Dad.
00:32:49See you in the office.
00:32:56Stupid dog walker?
00:32:58Tricking me with her makeover.
00:32:59I'll teach her to mess with my plans.
00:33:09Hey, it's Michael, I'm going to be with Dean Levino.
00:33:11Do you still track people?
00:33:27Wow.
00:33:28Amelia.
00:33:30Hi.
00:33:32You look like you just walked off a runway without a dog.
00:33:37Sorry, I don't come to concerts often.
00:33:39I kind of panicked.
00:33:41No worries.
00:33:41I should have mentioned this is more of a $5 beer kind of place.
00:33:45Yeah.
00:33:45But you're drinking for free tonight.
00:33:48Talk to the bartender.
00:33:49Wow.
00:33:50You like your treatment.
00:33:51You look like one.
00:33:53Thanks, Tim.
00:33:56Hey, lover boy.
00:33:58We're on.
00:34:00Gotta go.
00:34:01Find me in the green room after.
00:34:04Hope you like it.
00:34:05Break a leg.
00:34:06Love you, dude.
00:34:26Rock stars are so much better than underwear models.
00:34:38Good.
00:34:38Nothing from Michelangelo.
00:34:40Maybe he's learned his lesson.
00:34:43One more, please.
00:34:49But that doesn't mean I'm not hooking up with Jake tonight.
00:34:58Jake, you guys are great.
00:35:02You really think so?
00:35:04I just feel like we're ripping off the strokes.
00:35:06The who?
00:35:08You don't know the strokes.
00:35:12Are they older?
00:35:13I'm more of a top 40 kind of girl.
00:35:17It's all right.
00:35:18Lots of stuff to introduce you to.
00:35:21You want something to drink?
00:35:23Yeah.
00:35:30So, when did you learn how to play guitar?
00:35:34Since I was 13.
00:35:35Played in bands all through high school and college, but I feel like this one's finally
00:35:39going someplace.
00:35:41That's awesome.
00:35:42When I get my record deal, I can finally quit my job, focus on music full time.
00:35:47You're going to quit dog walking?
00:35:49I thought you liked it.
00:35:51I do, but it's just another gig until I hit it big in music.
00:35:55I don't even like dogs that much.
00:35:57I'm more of a cat person.
00:35:59A cat person?
00:36:03Who doesn't like dogs?
00:36:05Even Michelangelo's good with Gucci.
00:36:08I don't want to talk about work tonight.
00:36:10I just want to relax.
00:36:12Have a good time.
00:36:14You're beautiful, you know that.
00:36:18I thought I wanted to hook up with Jake.
00:36:20Now I'm not sure.
00:36:22We have nothing in common.
00:36:24Is it weird that I feel a tiny bit guilty?
00:36:29What the heck?
00:36:30I'm tipsy.
00:36:31He's cute.
00:36:32Michelangelo had his fun.
00:36:33Now I can have mine.
00:36:53I'm tipsy.
00:36:54I'm tipsy.
00:36:55I'm tipsy.
00:36:55I'm tipsy.
00:36:55He's cute.
00:36:56Bow baby underwear model.
00:36:57He's not.
00:36:58You coming with me, dog walker?
00:37:00Don't make me get the leash.
00:37:02What the hell, Michelangelo?
00:37:04Back off, dude.
00:37:05Back off.
00:37:06Grubby little hipster.
00:37:08She's my fiance.
00:37:10So that was an engagement ring?
00:37:12Jake, I can explain.
00:37:14Let's go.
00:37:17I'm really sorry, Jake.
00:37:18I'm not, Jake.
00:37:25This is for making me Uber all the way to fucking sober, Mike.
00:37:30And this is for making me listen to Andy.
00:37:38I can't believe you did that.
00:37:39After your high and mighty speech, you're such a hypocrite.
00:37:42Yeah, well, I don't have the paparazzi following me around.
00:37:44I'm just an Italian-American psycho.
00:37:47I'm not following you around.
00:37:49You know what?
00:37:50I get it.
00:37:50You saw me with Chantel last night, and now you're jealous.
00:37:55Me jealous?
00:37:56Did you see the way that you were acting around Jake?
00:37:59Mike, I would ever fuck a dog walker.
00:38:01I am more than a dog walker, you playboy prick.
00:38:03I have a name.
00:38:06Wait, what are you doing?
00:38:07That is an original.
00:38:08I'm so sick of your bullshit.
00:38:11Oh, fine.
00:38:12I'll just hop in my time machine, go back to ancient reality.
00:38:14and get another one.
00:38:15I don't care about your art, your money, your stupid mansion.
00:38:18They're treating me like shit.
00:38:20That's from the Renaissance.
00:38:22You are history's worst nightmare.
00:38:24I tried to make this work with you.
00:38:25We signed a contract.
00:38:26For an arranged marriage.
00:38:28Did you actually think this arrangement would be anything more than a business transaction?
00:38:31You are such a simpleton.
00:38:35Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:38:37Well, at least I'm not a spoiled brat.
00:38:40I tried to get along with you.
00:38:41You brought this on to yourself.
00:38:43I wish I never agreed to this awful engagement.
00:38:45Right back at you.
00:38:46I fucking hate you.
00:38:48I fucking hate you more.
00:39:09I wish I didn't care about what you're doing.
00:39:14I wish I didn't care about what you're doing.
00:39:35I wish I was a champion.
00:39:38I wish I was Michael over here.
00:39:42I wish I did it.
00:39:53where am i who's spooning me
00:39:58is that jake how drunk was i
00:40:07michelangelo dog walker
00:40:08oh i forgot we did that last night
00:40:15must have been all those free beers
00:40:18we don't have to talk about this right
00:40:21we had too many drinks
00:40:22just forget it ever happened
00:40:24if that's what you want
00:40:26definitely
00:40:29um i have to go to work
00:40:32i should get up too
00:40:36oh my head
00:40:38just pedialine in the fridge
00:40:41thanks for coming today sis
00:40:42of course
00:40:43my doctor did say i needed lots of exercise
00:40:48well you look great
00:40:50thanks
00:40:51i don't feel great
00:40:53the treatment's taking a lot out of me
00:40:58you on the other hand
00:41:07michelangelo and i had sex last night
00:41:09wait for the first time
00:41:12yeah
00:41:14we're taking it slow
00:41:17michelangelo the male gigolo is taking it slow
00:41:22maybe i did misjudge him
00:41:26and how was it
00:41:28well
00:41:30really bad
00:41:31right
00:41:31i knew it
00:41:32actually
00:41:34it was the best sex i ever had
00:41:37well that explains the glow
00:41:42i am happy for you sis
00:41:45physical chemistry is important
00:41:47that's actually what i wanted to talk to you about
00:41:50i don't get it
00:41:51he and i are nothing alike
00:41:53and yet he knows how to push all of my buttons
00:41:55i feel like
00:41:55like an arcade game
00:41:56and he just keeps getting the high score
00:41:58again and again and
00:42:00you get the picture
00:42:03hey
00:42:06opposite to track
00:42:07i mean
00:42:08that's why you guys love each other so much
00:42:11because you're so different
00:42:13something like that
00:42:23here comes
00:42:24right on the schedule
00:42:26dog walker's in love with me
00:42:28i'll have to let her down easy
00:42:30weird
00:42:31i haven't heard from the dog walker all morning
00:42:44what was that about
00:42:45must be the hangover
00:42:55hey i'd like to hang out tonight
00:42:56maybe we can finish what we started last time
00:43:11hey unfortunately something came up
00:43:13i can't make it tonight
00:43:19why can't i stop thinking about the dog walker
00:43:21and why hasn't she texted me yet
00:43:54i'm not very good with words
00:43:56me neither
00:43:57but last night i
00:43:59you don't have to say anything
00:44:00we both know it was a mistake
00:44:02and we can just go back to hating each other
00:44:05like nothing ever happened
00:44:06i don't think you understand it
00:44:08you just listen to me for a second
00:44:09look
00:44:10you don't have to worry about me catching feelings
00:44:12i'm a big girl
00:44:13i've had a one night stand before
00:44:15i've never been with someone like you before
00:44:18okay i get it
00:44:19i'm not one of your
00:44:20your models or your
00:44:22your d-list actresses
00:44:24you don't have to give me some
00:44:25big speech about letting me down easily
00:44:28i know that if you would take back last night
00:44:30that you would
00:44:31i mean
00:44:31frankly so would i
00:44:32i mean you're driving me nuts
00:44:33you don't understand
00:44:34let's
00:44:35let's get some takeout
00:44:36and figure this thing out
00:44:38i don't need you to mansplain
00:44:40my own feelings to me
00:44:42wait
00:44:42wait
00:44:43did you just call me amelia
00:44:47what happened to dog walker
00:44:50i have a confession to make
00:44:55last night
00:44:56i don't know how
00:44:58i don't know why
00:45:00that was the best sex i've ever had in my life
00:45:04really
00:45:05do i look like i'm lying
00:45:08i'm not a good actor
00:45:09i could even do reality tv
00:45:12but
00:45:12there is
00:45:14a fire
00:45:15between us amelia
00:45:16some kind of crazy
00:45:18cosmic chemistry
00:45:21you sound like you're
00:45:22reading a horoscope
00:45:23amelia
00:45:25please
00:45:28i know you felt it too
00:45:34amelia
00:45:35please
00:45:37don't act like you didn't feel it too
00:45:40i felt it too
00:45:45so why are we fighting it
00:45:48i've been thinking about you all day
00:45:50me too
00:45:51i'm a
00:46:03so
00:46:26so i set the kitchen on fire how am i supposed to know you're not supposed to light fireball
00:46:31shots on fire it's not my fault that she changed his name no wonder they canceled vanderpump's
00:46:39super yacht if you think that's funny just wait till the next episode the captain gets super drunk
00:46:44off espresso martinis and he almost sinks the boat you know when you're not acting like a complete
00:46:54douchebag you're not so bad thanks you know we could actually try this hey if the sex stays this
00:47:05good i'm open for anything i'm serious the wedding's coming up we could give it a shot
00:47:13you mean like you and me together together why not were you planning on marrying someone else
00:47:34oh gucci what's the rush
00:47:42oh hey royce jake how's it going good yeah but the other night was kind of crazy i know
00:47:53i should have told you about michelangelo we were kind of in a fight i'm sorry for bringing you into
00:48:00this is he always like that so aggressive and controlling i couldn't believe the way he just
00:48:06dragged you off like that he was like a caveman lugging home his woman well i am his woman he
00:48:13saw
00:48:14us together and he got jealous and i don't blame him oh my god am i actually sticking up for
00:48:20michelangelo
00:48:21dina volino i didn't mean a pride i just wanted to make sure everything's okay i'm here if you need
00:48:28to talk thanks jake but i'm engaged remember and the only person i want to talk to is my fiance
00:48:37we had a connection you're a cat person it never would have worked come on gucci let's go
00:48:49cats are awesome
00:48:53that was a great presentation the marketing director loved your ideas for the new line
00:48:59you think so oh maybe i'm finally starting to hang in the ceo thing oh yeah yeah now listen
00:49:06i gotta fly to paris for a few days you mind watching uh your little brother for me gucci
00:49:12sure but i mean you know dogs are more amelia's specialty yeah but that's how you impress her
00:49:18you invite her for a romantic date at the dog park at the dog park
00:49:22mm-hmm i just texted her it's all set now go get her lover boy
00:49:40so you just throw it and he brings it back you've never played fetch before
00:49:45it's my dad's dog not mine let me try that's okay i know you don't want to touch a slobbery
00:49:54ball with
00:49:54your dainty hands do you ever get tired of the dog stuff no i like my work what's the point
00:50:06of
00:50:06working if you never get a chance to have fun you're right i should work less if nothing else
00:50:15you're letting me get closer to my little brother
00:50:21fetch gucci
00:50:26i've got a big surprise a surprise just wait and see
00:50:48what's that special delivery from masterione's italian deli
00:50:55but gucci it's your favorite prosciutto
00:51:00you know that's awful for dogs right
00:51:03i thought you were off the clock today besides a special occasion
00:51:10i also thought we could use his water bowl to pour a little chianti into
00:51:16okay this is for us why don't you get us a quartz grape
00:51:19what else is in the back just some imported italian ingredients so i could make you a real italian dinner
00:51:26you can cook
00:51:41that was so good i feel like i just went to italy even though i've never been
00:51:47how did you do this i can't cook at all making italian food is one of my favorite things to
00:51:52do
00:51:52did you learn in culinary school no my mom taught me tell me about her i've never told a girl
00:52:01about
00:52:01my mom sorry i don't mean to pray she passed away when i was 11 breast cancer but i have
00:52:12a lot of
00:52:12good memories of her she grew up in a little village in tuscany and she taught me everything
00:52:18i know about cooking we'd spend hours in the kitchen just cooking and eating and laughing
00:52:26i still have all of her recipes here handwritten in italian that's really special
00:52:35i miss her this might sound corny but i feel a little closer to her when i make her recipes
00:52:43it's not corny but i didn't know you're such a softy just don't tell tmz what about your parents
00:52:53my parents died in a car accident when i was 13 it's been me and betsy ever since
00:53:00i'm sorry i just really hope these treatments work
00:53:06i don't want to lose her too
00:53:10i'm sorry your story made me emotional i'm gonna go do the dishes
00:53:15i'll help you no no it's fine i like doing the dishes it relaxes me
00:53:20good because i hate them well then i guess we make a good team
00:53:28is it just the wine or am i really falling for him her
00:53:47hey hey do you want an espresso i just figured out how to make the machine work
00:53:52no thank you you need to have a morning meeting i'm kind of in a rush
00:53:56okay well don't forget gucci how could i
00:54:01okay ready bro well let me fix your tie
00:54:06what do you know about ties you wear t-shirts to work
00:54:09and you wore man thongs two weeks ago
00:54:12touche
00:54:14there you go okay bye bye
00:54:20love you love you too
00:54:31sorry it's reflex i didn't mean to say that
00:54:34me neither too soon
00:54:38talk about it later
00:54:39yeah
00:54:41okay
00:54:43uh could that have been any more awkward
00:54:45and is michelangelo really in love with me
00:54:53look who's here
00:54:55hey my little guy
00:54:57hey little gucci
00:54:59look at this right here
00:55:01huh
00:55:02let's try
00:55:05oh yeah now here's uh
00:55:07here's mine
00:55:08right
00:55:08just like that huh
00:55:10yeah even got one for big brother
00:55:12right there
00:55:15come to papa
00:55:16yes my boy
00:55:19all right all right
00:55:20so we got to talk about this uh this wedding right
00:55:23this is two weeks off
00:55:24hollywood bowl they're waiting for an answer
00:55:27and i bumped into chris martin on the plane
00:55:30he says the band is free
00:55:32you like cold play right
00:55:34dad
00:55:34we can't have the wedding at the hollywood
00:55:37cool
00:55:39well all right then we'll book uh the magic castle
00:55:42how about that
00:55:43not too big plenty room for cold play
00:55:44huh
00:55:45let's just pump the brakes
00:55:47we cannot plan a wedding like this
00:55:49why
00:55:50something wrong with amelia
00:55:52no
00:55:53everything is great
00:55:56better than great honestly
00:55:58but we cannot have a big flashy wedding
00:56:01that's our thing
00:56:03it's not amelia's thing
00:56:05i think it'd make her uncomfortable
00:56:08wow i never thought of that
00:56:11you know you have a very good point there
00:56:15i'm very impressed
00:56:17you've never acted like this
00:56:19with any other woman
00:56:21i can't say i've ever felt like this with another girl
00:56:25sounds like you might be falling in love
00:56:27love
00:56:30yeah
00:56:31i don't know
00:56:35all right all right
00:56:36change the deal
00:56:37gonna cancel the hollywood bowl
00:56:39all right
00:56:40and then we'll have a nice small intimate affair
00:56:43a wedding
00:56:44with cold play
00:56:45no cold play dad
00:56:48no cold play
00:56:56so
00:56:58it's about my cancer treatment
00:56:59it's not working
00:57:01i know it
00:57:02i talked to my doctors yesterday
00:57:06and i'm cured
00:57:07what
00:57:09you're cured
00:57:10oh
00:57:12congratulations
00:57:13thank you
00:57:14i wasn't expecting it
00:57:16i didn't think i would be cured in only two sessions
00:57:20it only took two sessions
00:57:22i almost had enough in my savings to cover that
00:57:26maybe i didn't need the dina volino's money
00:57:29what's wrong sis
00:57:30we should be celebrating
00:57:32i brought prosecco
00:57:34no
00:57:34yeah
00:57:36no i'm good
00:57:37yeah
00:57:38amelia
00:57:39i'm your sister
00:57:41you can tell me anything
00:57:44is it michelangelo
00:57:46is everything okay
00:57:47if that punk pretty boy hurts you
00:57:50i will take that man thong
00:57:51and give him a wedgie so far up his butt
00:57:53that it will cut him in two
00:57:56it's not michelangelo
00:57:58let's see
00:58:00it's me
00:58:03i have to tell you something
00:58:08i cannot believe that they convinced you to do an arranged marriage
00:58:14what is this game of thrones
00:58:16it's the only way that i could pay for your treatments
00:58:18and you know that i would do anything for you
00:58:22actually
00:58:23he's not that bad
00:58:26i kinda like him
00:58:28yeah
00:58:29babe
00:58:29that's called stockholm syndrome
00:58:31we need to get you out of there
00:58:33betsy
00:58:34i have
00:58:36real feelings for him
00:58:38but
00:58:40what about the tabloid stories
00:58:42you heard what he did to that floozy in disney world
00:58:45they banned him
00:58:47for life
00:58:48you'll never go to epcot
00:58:50he's not actually like the stories
00:58:52or
00:58:53at least not to me
00:58:55he's only acting like that to get into your pants
00:58:58amelia
00:59:00if you marry michelangelo
00:59:02he will make your life a living hell
00:59:06what if you meet him
00:59:08yeah
00:59:09meet him
00:59:11maybe he'll change your mind
00:59:12maybe
00:59:12maybe you'll actually like him
00:59:14don't count on it
00:59:15please
00:59:16please
00:59:17me
00:59:17just give him a chance
00:59:20fine
00:59:21yes
00:59:21only one
00:59:22yes
00:59:26you won't regret it
00:59:27i'm gonna go get the prosciutto
00:59:31you better bring the whole bottle
00:59:36thank you for making dinner
00:59:38of course
00:59:39i'm glad she's cancer free
00:59:41we need to celebrate
00:59:45michelangelo
00:59:45you know that betsy is the most important person in the world to me
00:59:49right
00:59:50you mean besides me
00:59:51i'm serious
00:59:52it's really important to me that you two get along
00:59:56have a glass of wine
00:59:59tonight's gonna be great
01:00:09it's enormous
01:00:12why would anybody need so much room
01:00:17it's nice to see you too sis
01:00:21nice to finally meet you
01:00:23let's see
01:00:24hmm
01:00:25hmm
01:00:26so
01:00:27this is the
01:00:29infamous
01:00:30uh
01:00:32michelangelo
01:00:35how about we start off with a glass of champagne
01:00:37$96 Dom Perignon
01:00:38Amelia said that's the year that you were born
01:00:41yeah
01:00:43sorry i can't drink that fancy stuff
01:00:44it's worth more than my car
01:00:46why would anybody spend that much on a drink
01:00:51$8.99 at Ralph's
01:00:52it's delicious
01:00:55this was made in france
01:00:57sorry
01:00:57can't touch that stuff
01:01:00so
01:01:01who wants a drink
01:01:22you
01:01:23hardly touch your food
01:01:26it's a little too rich for me
01:01:30mine tastes great
01:01:34so michelangelo i have some big sister questions to ask about the prenuptials coming up
01:01:40you don't mind do you
01:01:43fire away
01:01:45so i know you two have been having your fun
01:01:50um but what's this relationship gonna look like once that honeymoon phase wears off
01:01:56i don't think it's going to
01:02:00that's cute and all but what about her career are you gonna support her or kids what's your stance on
01:02:06that or are you just gonna jump to the next person once you get bored and this gets too serious
01:02:11betsy
01:02:11betsy
01:02:12look
01:02:13i know i have a past
01:02:16but i'm committed to it
01:02:18we haven't talked about kids but i'm open to anything
01:02:21see michelangelo that's my point
01:02:23you two are getting married and you barely know each other
01:02:27we know now
01:02:29easy betsy
01:02:31i just think it's a bad idea getting married this soon
01:02:34and if you really cared about amelia
01:02:37you would give her the time
01:02:38and what makes you such an expert
01:02:41i don't see a ring on your finger
01:02:43michelangelo
01:02:44you probably picked them apart the way you're doing me right now
01:02:47it's no wonder amelia was so uptight when i met her
01:02:49she gets it from you
01:02:51are you gonna let him talk to me like that amelia
01:02:53you started it
01:03:00why don't we all just calm down
01:03:03betsy's just looking out for my best interest
01:03:05no she's alone and miserable and trying to drag you down with her
01:03:09that's not fair michelangelo
01:03:11she's not been fair to me since she walked through the door
01:03:13you're the horniest bastard in beverly hills
01:03:15and you're a frigid lonely woman who cannot stand to see her sister happy
01:03:18you know what you can't talk to betsy like that
01:03:21that's my sister she just survived cancer
01:03:26that doesn't give her a right to insult me inside my own house
01:03:29this is my house too and she can say whatever she wants
01:03:32not to me
01:03:33you know maybe she should be concerned i don't like this side of you
01:03:36see i told you you should have spent more time getting to know each other
01:03:39but i guess the contract doesn't allow for that
01:03:41you told her
01:03:42she's my sister
01:03:44i don't care that violates our agreement
01:03:46oh is that all i am to you
01:03:47a contractual agreement some kind of obligation
01:03:50it's not what i meant
01:03:52it came out wrong amelia
01:03:54i love you
01:03:56you love me
01:03:57don't listen to him
01:03:58he doesn't even know what that means
01:04:00shut the fuck up
01:04:02you know what
01:04:03maybe she was right
01:04:04i shouldn't have signed that contract
01:04:06it's over
01:04:12we need to get out of here
01:04:15i've seen too many true crime documentaries on netflix
01:04:17to know what happens when you tell rich people secrets
01:04:23amelia
01:04:25i know this is hard to hear
01:04:27but
01:04:28you did the right thing
01:04:30you do so much better than him
01:04:33yeah
01:04:34but he isn't a monster
01:04:36i shouldn't have said that
01:04:38we can talk about it on the road
01:04:40get packing
01:04:41and if we leave now
01:04:43we can get to mexico by dawn
01:04:44lay low for a bit
01:04:45mexico
01:04:46or canada
01:04:48whatever
01:04:49it's that or stay here
01:04:50and get sued
01:04:50by the dino lovinos
01:04:53or worse
01:04:54i don't think romulus and michelangelo would sue us
01:04:57i mean
01:04:58i only told you about the contract
01:04:59it's not like i told the media
01:05:02you don't know that
01:05:04we're
01:05:05liabilities
01:05:06loose ends
01:05:07you should listen to more true crime podcast
01:05:13get rid of that thing
01:05:15they could be tracking us right now
01:05:18yeah you know michelangelo did manage to follow me to the ecoplex the other day
01:05:23see
01:05:23he could have a sniper on us
01:05:30it's romulus
01:05:31hey romulus
01:05:34what?
01:05:35what do you mean gucci's missing?
01:05:49you came
01:05:50you came
01:05:52against my better judgment
01:05:54i'm not happy you've been blowing me off
01:05:57i've just been busy
01:05:58but
01:05:59it's over with now
01:06:00well
01:06:02you should
01:06:04punish me for straying
01:06:07you make me sick
01:06:09i make me sick
01:06:18nice
01:06:20underwear
01:06:22it's a great craftsmanship
01:06:28okay
01:06:29let's get this over with
01:06:34is that all you have to say?
01:06:36do you even realize how hot i am?
01:06:39i'm
01:06:40sorry
01:06:41chantel
01:06:43i thought i wanted this
01:06:46but i don't
01:06:49i'm not the stud that i used to be
01:06:54amelia
01:06:54amelia broke up with me
01:06:59it feels like she's stomping on my heart with one of your shoes
01:07:05never in a million years did i think i'd fall for dog walk with my hair i am fucking devastated
01:07:11and all her wishes i could take back how i acted
01:07:14i just wanted to come back to me
01:07:25amelia
01:07:27amelia
01:07:29hi dad
01:07:29gucci's gone?
01:07:32i'll be right there
01:07:33i'll be right there
01:07:35what?
01:07:39gucci gucci
01:07:41romulus
01:07:43what?
01:07:44oh
01:07:44oh
01:07:46well i
01:07:47i only had him off the leash for a second you know
01:07:49we're practically in the house and then all of a sudden he just shot off like a rocket
01:07:54i've been calling him all night but he won't come back
01:07:58well we can help you find him
01:08:01yeah?
01:08:02right?
01:08:04good thanks
01:08:06gucci
01:08:07this better not be a trap
01:08:08just come on
01:08:12gucci!
01:08:13gucci!
01:08:14gucci!
01:08:15gucci!
01:08:42gucci!
01:08:43Let's do it.
01:08:54Gucci!
01:09:02We've been looking for him all night long.
01:09:06We're never gonna find him.
01:09:08Don't give up, Dad. He's just off having a little adventure.
01:09:10Keep looking. He'll turn up in a few minutes.
01:09:14See? They're not gonna kill us.
01:09:16I do have to admit, though,
01:09:19I didn't expect to see this side of him.
01:09:21He's really there for his dad.
01:09:24His dad's dog.
01:09:26So you approve now?
01:09:28They didn't say that.
01:09:32Gucci!
01:09:35Gucci!
01:09:37My boy's back!
01:09:39Oh!
01:09:45Okay, okay. I'm a little closer to approving.
01:09:56I might have possibly misjudged you.
01:10:03A little.
01:10:06It's okay. Most of what the tabloids publish is true.
01:10:10They just leave out part of the story.
01:10:14Amelia...
01:10:14Can we talk?
01:10:18Please?
01:10:23Amelia...
01:10:39I'm sorry about earlier tonight.
01:10:42I shouldn't have attacked your sister, and I shouldn't have blown up at you for mentioning the contract.
01:10:51I hope that you know you mean so much more to me than just a business agreement.
01:10:57Thanks for saying that.
01:10:59I needed to hear that.
01:11:02And I'm sorry for calling you a monster.
01:11:06You're not one.
01:11:08I'm still learning new things about you.
01:11:11Most of them are good.
01:11:14I'm happy we signed the contract.
01:11:17I'm not.
01:11:21You're not.
01:11:21You're not. What do you mean?
01:11:25Amelia, this might sound crazy, but...
01:11:29I meant it when I said that I love you.
01:11:32And I don't want some silly piece of paper to be the reason that we stay together.
01:11:38I want to know that our love is real.
01:11:43Dad...
01:11:43What is it, son?
01:11:45I want to cancel the contract between me and Amelia.
01:11:49Why, son?
01:11:51Because I want to ask her to marry me.
01:11:54And not because of some legal obligation.
01:11:59But because she wants to.
01:12:06Consider our contract Noel and Boyd.
01:12:15Amelia.
01:12:17Where will it be?
01:12:20Will you marry me?
01:12:25Will you marry me?
01:12:28Yes.
01:12:29I'll marry you.
01:12:45You've made me the happiest underwear model in the world.
01:12:49And I'm the happiest dog walker.
01:12:52Look at me.
01:12:53I'm dripping like a Roman aqueduct.
01:12:57All right, all right, you two.
01:12:59That's enough, all right?
01:13:01We spent this whole night together.
01:13:03Come over to my place, all right?
01:13:05We'll have a nice breakfast Italian style, huh?
01:13:08Hopefully it's not too rich for you.
01:13:10I think I can get used to it.
01:13:12And then we can all discuss the wedding, all right?
01:13:16I want to hear from everybody involved.
01:13:19Especially Coldplay.
01:13:20We're not getting Coldplay, Dad.
01:13:23It was worth a try.
01:13:48And now the bride and groom would like to give their vows.
01:13:51Michaelangelo?
01:13:55Amelia.
01:13:58Even though we're far from a perfect couple, we're perfect together.
01:14:04I've learned so much from you in such a short amount of time.
01:14:08And not just about dogs.
01:14:11I don't know how I ever managed anything without you.
01:14:18I'm looking forward to your support and counsel as I take over the family business from my father this year.
01:14:26And in return, I promise to be patient and a loving husband as you turn our backyard into the doggy
01:14:36daycare you've always dreamed of.
01:14:43Amelia, you're the only thing better than free underwear.
01:14:49I love you so much.
01:14:57I never thought I would end up with a former man thong model, but here we are.
01:15:04Michaelangelo, you've helped me come out of my shell and you've taught me how to live life to the fullest.
01:15:08Something I hope to do more of on our honeymoon in Italy.
01:15:16And although we haven't spent much time together, it feels like a lifetime in a good way.
01:15:22I know your mom would be proud of you.
01:15:24Te amo, Michaelangelo.
01:15:26I love you.
01:15:27With the power vested in me by Almighty God and the city of Beverly Hills, I now pronounce you husband
01:15:33and wife.
01:15:34You may kiss your bride.
01:15:44Thanks.
01:15:46I'm Betsy.
01:15:48Amelia's sister.
01:15:49I'm Jake.
01:15:51Another dog walker.
01:15:53It's crazy.
01:15:54You know, giving my sister.
01:15:56I've always been more of a cat person.
01:15:58Me too!
01:15:59unnittal.
01:16:00Yeah!
01:16:01Yeah.
01:16:01Mhm, it's hot.
01:16:04Yeah, yeah!
01:16:07No, that's great.
01:16:11podob a fall...
01:16:12hopeful.
01:16:12We've worked for the other day.
01:16:13We've got a обыч moment.
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