- 11 hours ago
She's Not Homeless, She's Healer Goddess π π
Category
π₯
Short filmTranscript
00:00:02Healer goddess, hear my plea.
00:00:05Please save my child.
00:00:23Rod of a sepulis.
00:00:43Rejuvening.
00:00:51Praise! She is the healer goddess!
00:00:55No, please. Don't call me that.
00:00:59I'm just glad I could help.
00:01:05Here you go, miss.
00:01:09Why be weighed down by a throne when I can live amongst the common people and help those the most
00:01:13in need?
00:01:26You must be rushing off to go find your jewels, because only a sackless coward would hit a puppy and
00:01:31run!
00:01:34Aw, it's okay, little guy. I'll fix you right up.
00:01:44Right rewrites the wrong.
00:01:49Rejuvening.
00:01:54See? Good as the day you can kick him out of your mother's womb.
00:01:59Come on, Cleo! Let's go!
00:02:11Hey, hey, hey, hey!
00:02:16Please. My brother's been in a coma the last two years.
00:02:21We have no idea what the illness is. If anyone can help cure him, we will pay you handsomely.
00:02:26The Elizander Armstrong! His military family basically owns the entire global stock market!
00:02:32He's so hot!
00:02:34Does he come with the money?
00:02:35Yes. He'll even marry you if you can cure him. Money. Fame. Power. It's all yours.
00:02:46Are we still moving forward, Miss Trixie?
00:02:48Yes. Give the presidential contract to Marissa.
00:02:52Oh, I have another call coming in.
00:02:55Grandma!
00:02:56I'm dying! Save me, Trixie!
00:03:00Grandma?
00:03:02Grandma.
00:03:02When are you getting married? I'm already a hundred years old.
00:03:07I'm gonna keep you healthy forever, Grandma.
00:03:09And Butch is still on deployment, so that's why I haven't been married yet.
00:03:16Oh, but why marry a vegetable when I can bang a younger stud like you?
00:03:22We're talking about my brother's life. I don't have time for jokes.
00:03:27No!
00:03:36Please go feed your dog, Miss. Don't let it starve like you.
00:03:39Oh, kind stranger. Let me repay you by granting you a wish.
00:03:44Grant me a wish? That you can barely feed yourself.
00:03:47The downfall of humanity. It all starts with the loss of faith.
00:03:51What? Oh, geez, this is giving me a migraine.
00:03:55Are you telling me to pray to God because we've been doing that?
00:03:58I'm telling you to have some faith in me.
00:04:01Okay, uh, I wish for you to cure my brother's illness.
00:04:06Can you do that?
00:04:07I can topple mountains and make a king out of a frog if I wanted to.
00:04:11Cleo, stay right here for a second.
00:04:13Don't go too far, Cleo.
00:04:18Hold still.
00:04:26My migraine's gone.
00:04:28Okay, then let's go.
00:04:29If you can cure my brother, he'll even marry you.
00:04:32Come on. Come on.
00:04:33Oh!
00:04:47How is he?
00:04:48What is the diagnosis?
00:04:50Remember, you will not marry him unless you cure him.
00:04:53I'm sorry. I don't know what this is.
00:04:55Aren't you the queen of medicine?
00:04:57You're supposed to be one of the best.
00:04:59Don't worry, General.
00:05:00I'm the Angel Herbalist and I have mastered all healing methods of the East.
00:05:05I can detect what condition your son has with just one needle.
00:05:26I have no clue what this is.
00:05:30Oh, it looks like the Angel Herbalist doesn't live up to her name after all.
00:05:35That's why we saved the best for last.
00:05:37Me, the witch doctor.
00:05:39I'll save your son, Lysander.
00:05:52He's not budging. There's no movement.
00:05:54Truly, I have saved thousands of patients all over the world, but I don't know what this is.
00:06:01Lord, I've scoured the earth for the best doctors.
00:06:03They've tried all these methods and they've all failed.
00:06:06If we can't save him, there's only one person who can.
00:06:12Who?
00:06:16The goddess of healing.
00:06:19Wait a second. You're not talking about the legendary goddess healing.
00:06:23That's correct. Her right rewrites the rond and her left leaves the bereft.
00:06:30That's her motto.
00:06:31It's what makes her a sage amongst mortals. We are nothing compared to her.
00:06:36She is eccentric and elusive. No one has ever seen her before.
00:06:41If this legendary healer is the only one that can truly save my son, I don't care if I go
00:06:47bankrupt.
00:06:48I will find her. James, come.
00:06:51Put out a bounty.
00:06:53To the entire world.
00:06:54Whoever finds the goddess healer will get the five million dollars.
00:06:59There's no need.
00:07:13I'll save your son.
00:07:16Who the hell is she?
00:07:18Dad, she says she can cure Lysander.
00:07:20She's gonna save your brother?
00:07:22Don't be ridiculous.
00:07:23How can this shit-stained hobo cure your brother?
00:07:27Exactly.
00:07:28God, the unemployed are getting crazier and crazier.
00:07:31She's trying to scam her way into marrying the rich.
00:07:34Ew!
00:07:35She even brought a filthy dog with her.
00:07:38I bet it has fleas.
00:07:40That flea-infested dirty thing is your companion.
00:07:44Don't try to steal Lysander Armstrong from us.
00:07:51Don't touch him.
00:07:54They say don't judge a book by its cover, but I can see from all your faces that you've failed.
00:07:59So step aside.
00:08:01I'll take it from here.
00:08:02Could you hold this?
00:08:04Oh, you're not gonna touch my son.
00:08:07I'm the richest tycoon in this country and a former general.
00:08:11I know a gold-digging whore when I see one.
00:08:14I bet she's only here because giving blowjobs on the street corners wasn't paying enough cash.
00:08:20Who knows what an unskilled, poor girl like her would do for some.
00:08:24A skinny-ass beggar trying to take advantage of Lysander Armstrong when he's unconscious?
00:08:31Ew! Disgusting.
00:08:32Go back to being a prostitute.
00:08:35Security!
00:08:35Get this STD-infested peasant out of here now.
00:08:39Let's go.
00:08:40If you throw me out, you're tossing away your son's last chance at life.
00:08:47Sir, we are at our wit's end trying to find a cure for Master Lysander into no avail.
00:08:52Maybe we should give her a try?
00:08:55You can always deal with her later if she turns out to be a fraud.
00:08:58All right, I'll give you a shot.
00:09:00But I warn you, if you fail, I'll have your and your dog's head mounted on my wall.
00:09:07Is that any way to ask for help?
00:09:10You'd be blessed to have me.
00:09:12And I'm only here to repay your younger son's kindness.
00:09:15But since I'm not welcome here, I'll leave.
00:09:19Seven, come find me when you have a different wish.
00:09:22No, Miss Trixie.
00:09:24My brother is a hero to me.
00:09:26I can't lose him.
00:09:29Well, if he's a hero to you, then that means he must be a good person.
00:09:34My brother's a war hero who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack.
00:09:38Also, he's great with puppies. He'd make a great husband.
00:09:43Who says I want to marry him?
00:09:45As if the number one hottest 30 under 30 would even dream of marrying a penniless bum like you.
00:09:52Only a lunatic would be crazy enough to marry her.
00:09:55I mean, look at her. Even if she cleaned herself up.
00:09:58You couldn't find an ounce of femininity on her.
00:10:02Only those cuts in the lowest ranks were bigger over such trivial matters.
00:10:06Continue wasting your time.
00:10:07But I'm saving this patient.
00:10:19Okay.
00:10:20Oh, okay!
00:10:21What?
00:10:22What's happening?
00:10:24What are we doing?
00:10:35What the hell are you doing?
00:10:39i knew she was a perv she's definitely trying to steal lysander from us do you all not know
00:10:45that sweat can tell you everything that's medically wrong with a patient are you insane
00:10:48security smash her face in for licking my son he's born with congenital heart disease has a
00:10:55peanut allergy and the condition he has is called endogenic cryomorphie yeah right i mean no way
00:11:02you got all that just from licking him oh okay i've studied every disease known to man right
00:11:07i even have the badge of universal medicine right here and i've never heard of endo cryo what what
00:11:18this
00:11:25is worth nothing when i have the real thing right here
00:11:27what so you think that this this crummy walking stick of yours is is what the rod of a sepulius
00:11:36why don't you go back to the homeless asylum where you came from if you're going to be this delusional
00:11:41i agree i mean even if she does solve this medical mystery
00:11:44what is the point as of doctors who have studied for years
00:11:48we are all certified but lysander does have congenital heart disease
00:11:54she's right about everything
00:11:58yeah but if she just throws out a bunch of fake diagnosis one of them is bound to be right
00:12:03and again there is no such thing as endocryo what what
00:12:06endogenic cryomorphie oh and of course none of you have heard of it
00:12:10because i just discovered it
00:12:13this condition only affects those with both chd and a peanut allergy
00:12:17the chances are a billion to one a hundred times rarer than winning the lottery
00:12:21but lucky for you all you've hit the jackpot by finding me
00:12:26what a bunch of baloney i mean you wouldn't be homeless if you were actually any good
00:12:32precisely you are just a scamming prostitute you don't compare to meet us
00:12:38who actually studied real medicine
00:12:41i bet you were too poor to go to real medical school
00:12:45oh so she went to the super circus instead
00:12:49and now she's here putting on this clown show coming up with fake diseases
00:12:53which mean nothing if you can't wake him up
00:12:56is that supposed to be a challenge
00:12:58oh my god
00:13:01if you three incompetent doormats want to show me up
00:13:04i think you all should grow parts of your brain back
00:13:07which by the way that condition is called an encephaly
00:13:11what is that supposed to mean
00:13:13it means you're being schooled by me
00:13:14and i'm about to walk all over your medical licensees
00:13:19then let's have a bet
00:13:20if you can't heal him
00:13:24you'll break your hands
00:13:26and then you can't pretend to have healing hands anymore
00:13:32these hands have saved more lives than all three of you combined
00:13:36you're that desperate to get rid of your competition
00:13:39huh
00:13:40miss triggsy
00:13:41don't risk your hands for them
00:13:43there's too many lives at stake
00:13:47don't worry
00:13:48i got this
00:13:51it's a deal
00:13:53i'll save lysander armstrong
00:13:55no one is dying on my watch
00:14:04lysander armstrong has been in a vegetative state for two years
00:14:11are you stopping me because you're scared i'd actually succeed
00:14:14homeless or not
00:14:16if you save my son
00:14:17i'll give you everything
00:14:27i'll even have lysander my heir marry you
00:14:30i'm not doing this for the money or for a wealthy husband
00:14:33i just believe in helping good people and doing the right thing
00:14:38prepare a jacuzzi set at exactly 113 degrees fahrenheit
00:14:41wait wait wait wait what what for
00:14:42don't listen to her
00:14:45she probably stinks so bad that she just wants a bath to wash the homeless stench off of her
00:14:50firstly
00:14:51this is called greatness
00:14:53secondly
00:14:54even if you drown yourself in plastic surgery
00:14:57you couldn't get rid of your own ugly moral character
00:15:01what did you just call me
00:15:05there's a man's life at stake here
00:15:07and you're standing in my way
00:15:09don't don the mantle of doctor when you're only capable of harm
00:15:13now stop getting in my way
00:15:16or i promise you
00:15:17you will be bubbling at the mouth very soon
00:15:20oh yeah
00:15:20hey you want to see real pain
00:15:22where's the dog
00:15:23well put down the dog
00:15:24with pleasure
00:15:41left leaves the wrong breath
00:15:47you don't deserve to call yourself a doctor
00:15:53she's been poisoned
00:15:56it was her
00:15:57do you see any poison on me
00:15:59medicine in the right hands can save lives
00:16:02but in the wrong hands
00:16:03it becomes nothing but poison
00:16:06this bitch isn't good enough to take down the queen of medicine
00:16:09do you have one of your antidotes on you
00:16:11of course
00:16:12i've saved entire civilizations with my antidotes
00:16:16if i want to save someone
00:16:17even the grim reaper can't stop me
00:16:36i thought you said even the grim reaper can't get in your way angel herbalist
00:16:43this is what i call
00:16:45malpractice
00:16:47this isn't fatal
00:16:48she'll live
00:16:49but she deserves a little punishment
00:16:51well
00:16:52where's the jacuzzi i asked for
00:16:54jacuzzi is ready
00:16:55right this way
00:16:56wait wait wait wait wait wait
00:16:58what the hell is going on
00:16:59you say you want your son to live on
00:17:01to give you tons of grandchildren
00:17:02don't you
00:17:03then stop getting in my way
00:17:05every second counts
00:17:08let's go for our dip
00:17:09shall we
00:17:14general armstrong
00:17:15your family is the richest and most powerful in the nation
00:17:18are you really gonna let this hobo slut touch your son
00:17:23hold on
00:17:23you two are going in there
00:17:25alone
00:17:26if you don't want these drooling vultures to see your son naked
00:17:30then sure invite everyone in
00:17:33all right
00:17:34but i warn you
00:17:35no funny business
00:18:14but i don't want thisΠΈΡΠ°
00:18:30then if you don't want this to be honest
00:18:39You really shouldn't leave your precious son in there
00:18:41with that homeless conwoman, General Armstrong.
00:18:43Exactly!
00:18:44What if she gets pregnant by him?
00:18:46She could blackmail you for millions.
00:18:50That's what I would do if I was that poor.
00:18:52And then the Armstrong family will be the laughingstock of the nation.
00:18:56Held for ransom by a homeless woman.
00:18:59Dad, you can't seriously be listening to that.
00:19:02We have to have faith.
00:19:04Where did you actually find this little like...
00:19:09On the streets.
00:19:10Are you shitting me?
00:19:13You found this bum on the streets?
00:19:14Are you nuts?
00:19:15You don't know her.
00:19:16You don't know her background.
00:19:18She could be a psychotic murderer.
00:19:20That is it, General.
00:19:21You have to go in and stop this now.
00:19:22You're right.
00:19:23That's it.
00:19:24I'm shutting down this clown show right now.
00:19:26James, let's go.
00:19:27Yes, sir.
00:19:31Oh, my...
00:19:38I told you all to stay out.
00:19:45This is a critical moment for you.
00:19:47We can't be interrupted.
00:19:49Otherwise, we'd both die.
00:19:54I'm not going to let this homeless hoochie mama trap my son.
00:20:00I'm going to save him myself.
00:20:02No, thank you.
00:20:07You see that, General?
00:20:08This isn't just a gull-dicking con woman.
00:20:10This is a witchcraft.
00:20:13I know what this is.
00:20:15This is the dark witch.
00:20:17I've heard of her.
00:20:18She uses her dark magic to steal the hearts of young, handsome men, and then she eats them alive.
00:20:24Oh, I'm going to kill that bitch before she takes my son.
00:20:27James, get the SWAT team.
00:20:30Yes, sir.
00:20:34Here we gain consciousness.
00:20:45Help me.
00:20:47I just want...
00:20:52Something's wrong.
00:20:56You were drunk with an aphrodisiac.
00:20:59Lysander Armstrong and his fortune will soon be mine.
00:21:04That's one more thing I'm saving you from.
00:21:13Sir?
00:21:14The SWAT team is here.
00:21:16Captain Morales.
00:21:19My son is trapped behind there with a devious, man-eating witch.
00:21:24I need you to do whatever you can to tear down that door.
00:21:27Rest assured, General Armstrong.
00:21:29We'll break down that door and bury that bitch alive.
00:21:37Bright rewrites the world.
00:21:42We're human.
00:21:46Who the fuck are you?
00:21:48And why the hell are we naked?
00:21:51Good.
00:21:52You're awake.
00:21:53I'm saving you.
00:21:54Saving you?
00:21:56By bathing with me?
00:21:58Who are you?
00:21:58You're a fucking spy?
00:22:00Talk!
00:22:01I swear to God, we'll have you arrested for this.
00:22:05You're the one who's trying to kiss me in your stipper.
00:22:10I will never.
00:22:11Oh, really?
00:22:25Look who's scouting now.
00:22:29Look, I don't know what the fuck this is, all right, but it is a biological fact.
00:22:33A man is attracted to a naked woman and her breasts.
00:22:39Science, okay?
00:22:40It just means that my body is physically...
00:22:42Oh, shut up.
00:22:45You're just doctoring me with your friend.
00:22:47And I'm a professional.
00:22:49I hear Lysander's voice.
00:22:51Captain, do something now.
00:22:52Ready!
00:22:58We're almost there.
00:23:00Aim!
00:23:02Get him, boys.
00:23:04Get him!
00:23:06Fire!
00:23:10Fire!
00:23:25Those dimensiles.
00:23:27How is this possible?
00:23:29It's not even a scratch.
00:23:30I told you this is dark magic.
00:23:33Of course, your earthly bullets won't do a thing.
00:23:35No.
00:23:36I believe Miss Trixie is a good person.
00:23:39She's not the dark witch.
00:23:40Young Master Armstrong, you are too easily fooled.
00:23:44This homeless psycho doesn't even have the skills to make a living.
00:23:48How is she going to save someone else's life?
00:23:50That's right.
00:23:51The Queen Angel and I are already the top female doctors in the world.
00:23:55If we can't save him, no one can.
00:23:58Except for the goddess healer.
00:24:00Think about it.
00:24:00We heard Lysander's voice.
00:24:02He's been in a coma for two years.
00:24:04Miss Trixie must have woken him up.
00:24:05You're right.
00:24:06This homeless girl is maybe the goddess.
00:24:12Maybe this homeless girl is really the goddess.
00:24:15No, no.
00:24:16Absolutely not.
00:24:18There is no way this hobo girl is better than us.
00:24:21How could you know for sure?
00:24:22Right now, what we need to do is not interrupt Miss Trixie.
00:24:26You're wrong, sir.
00:24:27This homeless snake is using the forbidden techniques on Master Lysander.
00:24:32It's called borderline revival.
00:24:34She uses torturous pain to wake the patient.
00:24:37But only temporarily.
00:24:39It's a trick to pull the wool over your eyes and ears.
00:24:43That means my son is in tremendous pain.
00:24:46I'm going to ask you two to do whatever you can to kill that antler rod bearing witch.
00:24:52My son doesn't deserve this.
00:24:54He is dying right now, naked, in a jacuzzi, with a smelly vagrant.
00:24:59Then it looks like it's up to me.
00:25:01The witch doctor.
00:25:02Only I know the right techniques to take her down.
00:25:06My son's life is in your hands.
00:25:09You heal him, I will give you whatever your heart desires.
00:25:13I don't know who you are, but there is no way I am letting you rip my golden bachelor away
00:25:19from me.
00:25:21This is it.
00:25:22This is the finishing touch.
00:25:24I must now give you the kiss of life.
00:25:27So we can both survive.
00:25:46It's poison gas.
00:25:50Poison gas will smoke them out and end her torture over Master Lysander.
00:25:55Poison gas?
00:25:56My son is in there.
00:25:58You're jeopardizing his life as well.
00:26:00No, don't worry, General.
00:26:01Gold diggers like her only care about themselves.
00:26:04Soon, she'll come out crying to mommy.
00:26:08Then we can reverse the poison on your son.
00:26:10And then he can marry one of us.
00:26:13They really won't stop until they get both of us killed.
00:26:18I made a promise to you that I'd save you.
00:26:21It's now or never.
00:26:35What the hell are they doing in there?
00:26:37It's been over ten minutes.
00:26:38Wait a second.
00:26:40You don't think that they're...
00:26:42You!
00:26:43You suffocated my brother and Miss Trixie in there!
00:26:45Don't point your fingers at me!
00:26:47If your brother's dead, it's because of that homeless gold digger!
00:26:51Oh my god.
00:26:51Yeah?
00:26:52She's the one who sealed the door shut.
00:26:54I mean, she probably locked themselves in there on accident.
00:26:58Miss Trixie wouldn't have to do that
00:26:59if you weren't trying to sabotage her from saving my brother!
00:27:02This is taking way too long!
00:27:05Captain Morales, it's time to get out the big guns.
00:27:09These bazookas can flatten even a bomb shelter.
00:27:12Bazooka.
00:27:13She won't be able to hide even if she's the devil himself.
00:27:16Crap.
00:27:17Oh my god.
00:27:17Get back, son.
00:27:19Ready.
00:27:21Aim!
00:27:22Oh, shit!
00:27:27Quit your whining and stand down!
00:27:42The parasite's been extracted.
00:27:43Shoot her dead now!
00:27:45Do I need to fix your hearing too?
00:27:47I said stand down!
00:27:50Don't listen to her.
00:27:51She's a fraud.
00:27:52Add a termite to the field of medicine.
00:27:54I just saved this man that otherwise would have died in your care.
00:27:58If I'm a termite, then you're worse than a disease-spreading tick.
00:28:03Wait a second.
00:28:04Are you saying you cured my son?
00:28:06He'll wake in just a moment.
00:28:07You can see for yourself.
00:28:09Well, now you're just asking to be exposed.
00:28:12That is it!
00:28:13No more stalling, General!
00:28:15If you won't punish her, I will!
00:28:21Don't hurt her.
00:28:26He's a cure!
00:28:33His pulse is regular.
00:28:35In fact, it's never been better.
00:28:40There's no sign of illness, infection, or disease.
00:28:51Miss Trixie did it, Dad.
00:28:53Lysander's warm again.
00:28:54He's not cold and pale like before.
00:28:56And his heart is strong.
00:28:58Come, feel it.
00:29:01I saved my son.
00:29:04Next time, don't go seeking medical advice from those with ill will.
00:29:07Your son would have otherwise died
00:29:09by their greedy and unskilled hands.
00:29:12I've learned my lesson.
00:29:13I will not let these two nutjobs
00:29:15ever practice their voodoo voodoo magic again.
00:29:18Wait, wait!
00:29:19No, no!
00:29:19There is only one person in the world
00:29:22who is more skilled in the field of medicine
00:29:24than the queen, Angel, and I.
00:29:28The goddess healer!
00:29:33Could you really be the goddess of healing?
00:29:36But rumor has it that the goddess of healing
00:29:38is well over 100 years old,
00:29:40and you don't look a day after 20.
00:29:43It doesn't matter who I am.
00:29:45What matters is that the patient is healthy again.
00:29:48Devon, I've repaid your kindness
00:29:50by fulfilling your wish of saving your brother.
00:29:52Take care.
00:29:53No, wait!
00:29:54Miss Trixie, we still haven't fulfilled our promise to you yet.
00:29:57He's right.
00:29:58We are men of our words,
00:30:00and as I promised you,
00:30:01my heir, Lysander,
00:30:02would take you as a wife if you cured him,
00:30:04and you did just that.
00:30:06Of course,
00:30:07you're welcome to marry me instead.
00:30:09Oh!
00:30:10I really appreciate it,
00:30:11but I'm sorry.
00:30:13I...
00:30:15I'm already engaged.
00:30:19Already engaged?
00:30:20I am.
00:30:21I've been patiently awaiting his return
00:30:23from deployment for the last three years,
00:30:25and he's coming back today.
00:30:27But don't be disappointed.
00:30:29Really, I'm no one special.
00:30:31I just got lucky with your brother.
00:30:33Some guru taught me that spa water
00:30:35can cure all kinds of ailments.
00:30:36But you're still Lysander's savior.
00:30:38Please, let me give you what I promised.
00:30:41Take the gold.
00:30:42No, really.
00:30:44I don't need anything.
00:30:45I just believe in doing good in the world.
00:30:51Trixie, it's your fiancΓ©.
00:30:53He's back,
00:30:54and he says he's breaking up with you.
00:30:58I must go.
00:31:06Hobo close.
00:31:07Halo glow.
00:31:09I bet the goddess healer is just like Miss Trixie.
00:31:12It was just dumb luck.
00:31:14She's even dumber for not accepting his marriage proposal.
00:31:17She could have been the richest woman in the world,
00:31:19marrying the hottest, most powerful bachelor around.
00:31:25I'm going to marry that homeless woman.
00:31:32Oh, my God.
00:31:33I mean, I don't know about that homeless bimbo,
00:31:36but this is godly.
00:31:38No, no, no, no, no, Lysander, Lysander's job was supposed to be mine.
00:31:45I'd so much rather share him with you than let that penniless, ugly bitch have him.
00:31:50You two nutjobs are a disgrace to your profession.
00:31:53Take these two weirdos out of here and revoke their licenses.
00:31:57No, we're not brides.
00:31:59No, she's just better than us.
00:32:02Oh, my God.
00:32:04Oh, my God.
00:32:06We were truly blessed to have Miss Trixie here, huh?
00:32:09She's no average Jane.
00:32:10No, she isn't.
00:32:11She said it was just dumb luck.
00:32:13But if she truly had these special skills,
00:32:16why did she wear that shit-stained dress and had an impeccable-looking doll?
00:32:20But think about the impenetrable walls.
00:32:21No normal person could have done that.
00:32:23Goddess or not, homeless or not, I don't care.
00:32:26I have never met a woman like that.
00:32:28I have to find her.
00:32:29I have to make her my life.
00:32:31She won my heart over, too.
00:32:32But if my bestest big bro wants her, I'll help you find her.
00:32:36All right, listen.
00:32:38I need help finding three wedding gifts.
00:32:45I'm dumping Trixie.
00:32:46So I want you, your granddaughters, filthy things out of my house now.
00:32:53Trixie paid for this house.
00:32:55She waited for you for three years.
00:32:58She was dumb enough to put my name on the lease.
00:33:00And I'm upgrading for a better girlfriend now.
00:33:02One with some serious fuck you money.
00:33:05So get lost.
00:33:06Who gave you permission to bark like a rabbit hyena in my house?
00:33:16Grandma.
00:33:17Beatrice, Trixie, Amore.
00:33:21I've been dying to throw this in your face.
00:33:23I'm dumping you for your best friend, Marissa.
00:33:27In fact, the wedding's tomorrow.
00:33:30So sign over the house now.
00:33:37You gave me this ring and asked me to wait.
00:33:40And I did.
00:33:41For three years while you were deployed.
00:33:44Yet you cheat on me with my best friend.
00:33:47And now you're trying to swindle my home?
00:33:50Do you have no shame?
00:33:51We were together for three years and it was a complete waste of my life when I could have been
00:33:56with a loaded girl like Marissa.
00:34:03That's how much you would owe me if I was in the rent-the-boyfriend business.
00:34:09I see you're fulfilling your highest aspirations of being a low-grade male prostitute.
00:34:17Oh yeah?
00:34:19Well, Marissa
00:34:21is so much better than you.
00:34:23She grew up
00:34:24even poorer
00:34:25than you.
00:34:26And now
00:34:26she's the CEO
00:34:28of an entire
00:34:29corporation.
00:34:33And you?
00:34:35You're still nothing.
00:34:37So you think she's an upgrade?
00:34:39Of course she's an upgrade.
00:34:41Look what she, uh, got me for my engagement.
00:34:45Oops.
00:34:47Yeah.
00:34:48That's maybe worth one millionth the presidential contract I gave her.
00:34:57You gave her the presidential contract?
00:34:59I certainly did.
00:35:01In fact,
00:35:02Marissa,
00:35:03you and your dimwit brother
00:35:05only have everything you have all thanks to me.
00:35:13Oh, I think she's losing it, bro.
00:35:15That breakup must have hit her hard.
00:35:18You two
00:35:18are the ungrateful,
00:35:20cheating scum here.
00:35:21My granddaughter
00:35:22supported you
00:35:24and your entire family
00:35:26for three years
00:35:27while you were gone.
00:35:28How dare you insult her?
00:35:31It's okay, Grandma.
00:35:32Let's not stoop to that level.
00:35:35Poor Edna.
00:35:36She still doesn't know
00:35:37what you're doing
00:35:37out there on the streets, huh?
00:35:39What is he talking about, Jersey?
00:35:41Show her, Bob.
00:35:47This is how embarrassingly useless
00:35:49your granddaughter is.
00:35:50She didn't purchase this house
00:35:52on her own.
00:35:52She was begging on the street
00:35:54for money.
00:35:56I can't be caught
00:35:57with a piss-poor nobody like you.
00:35:59Even if you got no game,
00:36:01I got street cred
00:36:02I got out of keep.
00:36:03You dig?
00:36:04The word you're looking for
00:36:05is dignity.
00:36:06And you're one to speak,
00:36:08cheater.
00:36:10Is this true, Trixie?
00:36:15I've been broadening
00:36:16my horizons, Grandma.
00:36:17I want to see how regular,
00:36:19everyday people live
00:36:20so that I can help them.
00:36:22Of course,
00:36:23those without substance
00:36:25underneath would never
00:36:26understand that.
00:36:27What is that supposed to mean?
00:36:28It means
00:36:29the new girlfriend
00:36:30you think is an upgrade
00:36:32is actually a downgrade.
00:36:37Enough bullshitting already!
00:36:39Just sign the damn papers
00:36:39and we can each get on
00:36:40with our lives.
00:36:54At your wedding, I will.
00:36:56What?
00:36:57If you won't do good
00:36:58by me of breaking things off
00:37:00before two-timing me
00:37:01with my best friend,
00:37:03why should I do good by you?
00:37:05I'll give you my John Hancock
00:37:06at your wedding
00:37:07as a charity to you.
00:37:10Fucking bitch!
00:37:11You better keep your word.
00:37:13Oh, that's rich.
00:37:15After tomorrow,
00:37:16you will never feel
00:37:16so rich ever again.
00:37:18Do remember that.
00:37:25Trixie,
00:37:27Marissa's a millionaire now.
00:37:29They'll destroy you
00:37:30if you show even so much
00:37:32as a hair at their wedding.
00:37:33Grandma,
00:37:34I have to confess
00:37:35something to you.
00:37:36I've secretly amassed
00:37:38a fortune worth trillions.
00:37:40Trillions?
00:37:43That would make you
00:37:44the richest person
00:37:46on the planet.
00:37:47It's because of
00:37:48the healing hands
00:37:49I inherited from Asseplius,
00:37:51the god of healing.
00:37:52I've saved several
00:37:54world leaders
00:37:55with these hands.
00:37:56That's how I was able
00:37:57to give Marissa
00:37:58the presidential contract
00:37:59and become
00:38:00the goddess healer.
00:38:01It makes me angrier
00:38:02hearing her name
00:38:04knowing how she betrayed you.
00:38:05But please,
00:38:07Trixie dear,
00:38:08I know it was
00:38:09to broken your heart,
00:38:10but embellishing
00:38:12your worth
00:38:13and who you are,
00:38:14it will only delay
00:38:16the healing process.
00:38:17You don't have to
00:38:18believe me just yet.
00:38:19After we lost
00:38:20Mom and Dad
00:38:21because we didn't have
00:38:22the money
00:38:22for their medical bills,
00:38:24I vowed
00:38:25that I would do
00:38:26everything I can
00:38:27to serve those in need.
00:38:29That's why I'm taking
00:38:30everything back
00:38:31from Butch
00:38:31and I'm giving it
00:38:32back to Charity.
00:38:33You've always had
00:38:34an angel's heart.
00:38:35I'm certain
00:38:36you will meet someone
00:38:37who will treat you right,
00:38:39who actually deserves you.
00:38:41You will see tomorrow, Grandma.
00:38:45Oh, yeah.
00:38:51You said Trixie's
00:38:52crashing your wedding?
00:38:53She was bullying us too, Sasa.
00:38:55She's probably
00:38:56trying to extort you
00:38:57now that she knows
00:38:58you're rich as fuck.
00:39:00When nobody steps on Snake,
00:39:02Snake bites back hard.
00:39:05So let her come
00:39:05and embarrass herself.
00:39:07Yeah.
00:39:08You mean
00:39:10we broadcast
00:39:12that video of me?
00:39:16Yes.
00:39:17Her cavewoman
00:39:17stick,
00:39:18the 19th century tin can.
00:39:20She'll prop me up
00:39:21higher on my pedestal
00:39:22and the whole world
00:39:22sees her in her
00:39:23homeless mess
00:39:24against my
00:39:25presidential glow up.
00:39:26Let's turn this party
00:39:27into her funeral.
00:39:35There he is.
00:39:38Welcome home, brother.
00:39:40Welcome home, General!
00:39:44Sir,
00:39:45the homeless woman
00:39:46who saved you,
00:39:46Miss Trixie,
00:39:47this is the file
00:39:48of her ex,
00:39:49Butch Tanner.
00:39:49He served with your regiment
00:39:50in the Marines.
00:39:51You mean the Butch Tanner
00:39:52that can barely carry supplies?
00:39:54Well, she's been providing
00:39:55for him and his entire family
00:39:56while he's been deployed
00:39:57overseas, sir.
00:39:58So she waited for him
00:39:59for years
00:40:00and then he betrayed her.
00:40:01Fucking coward.
00:40:02According to intel,
00:40:03she's planning to bring it
00:40:04down on them
00:40:04at their wedding.
00:40:05Then we should join her.
00:40:07Men,
00:40:08I'm only alive today
00:40:09because of that
00:40:10virtuous woman
00:40:11and her incredible power
00:40:12that saved my life.
00:40:13So she needs our support.
00:40:15Will you join me
00:40:15in protecting her?
00:40:16Yes, sir!
00:40:17We will allow our lives
00:40:18to protect her, sir!
00:40:20Well, let's roll.
00:40:36Welcome everyone
00:40:37to my wedding.
00:40:39Today is a very special day
00:40:40for me and Butch.
00:40:41Not only are we getting married,
00:40:42but in just one hour
00:40:43my company will be receiving
00:40:45the presidential contract
00:40:46allowing my biomedical company
00:40:48to go public.
00:40:53congratulations on the contract
00:40:54once again,
00:40:55Mrs.
00:40:55Wakeham.
00:40:56Stowe,
00:40:57butch is taking my last name.
00:40:59Oh, and please,
00:40:59don't be so uptight,
00:41:00Secretary Cho.
00:41:02You are the secretary
00:41:03of the entire
00:41:04U.S. Health Department,
00:41:05but this is a par-tay
00:41:06after all.
00:41:07I see some of the
00:41:08most important people
00:41:09in the nation
00:41:10have also arrived
00:41:11to celebrate you.
00:41:13The U.S. president
00:41:15will also be arriving soon
00:41:17to give you
00:41:18the contract herself.
00:41:19It's an honor.
00:41:20That's why Sasa
00:41:21is the best wife
00:41:22a man could ever dream of.
00:41:25We will make sure
00:41:26the crowd is entertained tonight.
00:41:28We'll let the wedding begin.
00:41:32Not so fast.
00:41:34The party doesn't start
00:41:35until I say it does.
00:41:58You two really are
00:41:59a match made in hell.
00:42:01So I've come to save
00:42:02your guests from this
00:42:03oncoming train wreck.
00:42:04I don't recognize it
00:42:05from any of our elite circles.
00:42:07Who is she?
00:42:08Um, this is our
00:42:09entertainment for tonight, sir.
00:42:11Just watch.
00:42:15Trixie, what are you doing here?
00:42:16This isn't the homeless shelter.
00:42:17You lost.
00:42:18I bet she's here
00:42:19to bum a meal off us.
00:42:20You know,
00:42:21being this poor.
00:42:24Me?
00:42:25Bum a meal?
00:42:25Bill, have you forgotten
00:42:27that it was I
00:42:27who bankrolled you two
00:42:28for the last three years?
00:42:30And what evidence
00:42:30do you have of that?
00:42:32Look at me,
00:42:32then go look at yourself
00:42:33in the mirror.
00:42:34I'm a millionaire CEO.
00:42:37Even the first woman president
00:42:38will be here any second
00:42:39now to congratulate me.
00:42:41And you're nothing
00:42:41but a washed up sewer rat.
00:42:44Sasa,
00:42:45she's like,
00:42:45so obsessed with me.
00:42:46She's like,
00:42:48See, everyone?
00:42:50Butch already cut ties
00:42:51with his ex,
00:42:52but she's so shameless
00:42:53and desperate
00:42:54that she'd still show up
00:42:55to my wedding
00:42:56to suck up to me.
00:42:58This is what poor,
00:42:59sad girls do.
00:43:00They beg for scraps
00:43:02from us,
00:43:03the rich and glorious.
00:43:05Projecting much, Marissa?
00:43:06You might feel
00:43:07all high and mighty now,
00:43:08but don't bite the hand
00:43:09that feeds you.
00:43:11Especially when I'm the one
00:43:12who's giving you the contract.
00:43:19You giving me the contract?
00:43:21You have no skills,
00:43:23no education,
00:43:24no connection,
00:43:25so how could you possibly
00:43:26have a pool
00:43:27to get the U.S. fucking president
00:43:29to give me
00:43:30a billion dollar contract?
00:43:32We both share
00:43:32humble beginnings, Marissa,
00:43:34and I saw potential in you.
00:43:36Even trusted you
00:43:37as my best friend.
00:43:38But I recognize now
00:43:39that greed has poisoned you.
00:43:42Don't be all sore now
00:43:43just because I stole your man.
00:43:45This is what us rich girls
00:43:46do.
00:43:47They steal her
00:43:48from lame spinsters for fun.
00:43:50Damn right.
00:43:51You were too embarrassing
00:43:54for me.
00:43:55Sasa tramples you any day.
00:43:57I can say that now
00:43:58that I'm marrying the rich.
00:44:00Bravo.
00:44:01Self-admission of a gold digger.
00:44:02Quick, somebody put that
00:44:04on a memoir.
00:44:04Sasa, she's embarrassing me
00:44:05in front of everyone.
00:44:07You should make her stop.
00:44:07Don't listen to her, everyone.
00:44:09She's the gold-dicking,
00:44:11blood-sucking leech.
00:44:12I don't even have
00:44:13to lift a finger
00:44:14and you're already
00:44:14embarrassing yourself
00:44:15in front of everyone
00:44:16for me, butch.
00:44:19You may look and sound
00:44:20like a man
00:44:20but you're nothing
00:44:22but a pathetic coward.
00:44:23Okay, enough!
00:44:24You know what I always
00:44:25couldn't stand about you?
00:44:26Your moral posturing.
00:44:28But guess what?
00:44:30Morals are just lies
00:44:31to make you lame girls
00:44:32feel better about yourselves.
00:44:33That's why no man
00:44:34will choose you
00:44:35over Marissa Trixie.
00:44:37Because I've got
00:44:37the material goods
00:44:39and you're just
00:44:40all empty talk.
00:44:40I'm not here
00:44:41to request to be chosen
00:44:43because I'm the one
00:44:44who's doing the choosing.
00:44:47See this?
00:44:59Oh my god.
00:45:01Is that the billion dollar
00:45:02contract for Sasa?
00:45:06The one that's supposed
00:45:07to make us all rich as fuck?
00:45:08No, absolutely not.
00:45:10I don't believe it.
00:45:12You all sound so scared already.
00:45:14Don't worry.
00:45:15This isn't that contract.
00:45:17It's the lease to the modest home
00:45:19you try to swindle from me.
00:45:22I don't see everyone.
00:45:24She's just trying to bluff us.
00:45:26But you don't even have
00:45:26the guts to go all the way.
00:45:28Look at her following orders.
00:45:29I asked her to sign over
00:45:30the lease and here she is.
00:45:32Like a good little
00:45:34peasant slave.
00:45:35That house is worth
00:45:36all her life savings.
00:45:40You want to, I don't know,
00:45:42beg for a little treat
00:45:43while you're at it?
00:45:54You must understand me.
00:45:56I'm here to take back
00:45:57everything I've ever given you.
00:45:59I'm giving it to charity.
00:46:08Bro, she's gone cuckoo
00:46:09in the head.
00:46:10She thinks that just because
00:46:11she rented a pretty little dress
00:46:12she can pretend to be
00:46:13a deep pocket-invested baddie.
00:46:15You wish you had that kind of money
00:46:16to just toss away, Trixie.
00:46:18It's just a drop
00:46:19in the bucket for me.
00:46:20I know what this is.
00:46:22You've gotten delusional.
00:46:24And you think you're Cinderella
00:46:25so you can just show up
00:46:26to a fancy party
00:46:27and some Prince Charming
00:46:29will scoop you
00:46:29into money forever?
00:46:30Well, that's not happening.
00:46:32Security!
00:46:33Lock the doors.
00:46:34This woman doesn't leave
00:46:35until we're through with her.
00:46:39This is where your dreams
00:46:41will die, bitch.
00:46:45We found Miss Trixie Lysander.
00:46:47She's being cornered
00:46:47by her ex and his mistress
00:46:48at the Wickham wedding right now.
00:46:49Butch Tanner.
00:46:51Well, he's going to wish
00:46:51he died in battle
00:46:52after I'm done with him.
00:46:54Let's go.
00:46:59You think a few toy guns
00:47:00scare me, Marissa?
00:47:01I've saved plenty of people
00:47:03from much worse.
00:47:05Including your head of command,
00:47:06Butch.
00:47:07General Lysander Armstrong.
00:47:10You mean the legendary war hero?
00:47:12He's been in a coma for years
00:47:14after he saved the nation
00:47:15from a terrorist attack.
00:47:16You're an unskilled,
00:47:18unemployed,
00:47:19ugly leech.
00:47:20So how could you possibly
00:47:21have this magical ability
00:47:23to heal someone
00:47:24like General Lysander Armstrong?
00:47:26No one here
00:47:26is going to believe you.
00:47:27If you really cured
00:47:28the incurable general,
00:47:29then Sasa
00:47:30is the fucking
00:47:31Virgin Mary.
00:47:32And she's not.
00:47:34You're just asking
00:47:35to be humiliated, Trixie.
00:47:37Show them, Butch.
00:47:39Oh!
00:47:40Oh my God.
00:47:41Congratulations.
00:47:43See for yourselves, everyone.
00:47:45Trixie's just a
00:47:47freeloading beggar.
00:47:51She won't leave me
00:47:52and Marissa alone
00:47:53because we're rich
00:47:54as fuck now.
00:47:55I'm a major
00:47:56in the Marines.
00:47:57Sasa,
00:47:58she has
00:47:59a billion dollar
00:48:00biomedical contract
00:48:01with the military.
00:48:03Approved by the
00:48:04first female president
00:48:06of the United States
00:48:07herself, bitch.
00:48:08How despicable.
00:48:09She's just trying
00:48:10to leech off you
00:48:11like a parasitic gold digger.
00:48:13Get out of here.
00:48:14No one wants to marry you.
00:48:15No free meals
00:48:16for the poor.
00:48:17Do you see this?
00:48:18Trixie?
00:48:19This is high society.
00:48:21So you're either
00:48:22born on a silver spoon
00:48:23or you're as accomplished
00:48:24as me to be here.
00:48:26Maybe if you do
00:48:27some serious
00:48:27dick-sucking here,
00:48:29maybe someone
00:48:30will drop a couple
00:48:31bucks in your tin can.
00:48:35I already have
00:48:36everything one
00:48:36can dream of.
00:48:37But I valued
00:48:38our friendship, Marissa,
00:48:39which is why I came here
00:48:40to give you a second chance
00:48:42to see if you'd apologize
00:48:43and admit to your
00:48:44backstabbing.
00:48:45But no.
00:48:46You stooped so low
00:48:48it disgusts me.
00:48:50Nothing is more disgusting
00:48:51than you standing
00:48:52on street corners
00:48:53like a bum.
00:48:54And who knows
00:48:55if you've already
00:48:56started offering
00:48:57sexual services.
00:48:59Well then,
00:49:01why don't you get on
00:49:02your knees for me,
00:49:03Trixie?
00:49:03My brother
00:49:04will never take you back.
00:49:06No man will marry
00:49:07an embarrassment
00:49:08like you.
00:49:09But make me happy
00:49:11and I might consider
00:49:12making you my
00:49:13personal prostitute.
00:49:25How dare you
00:49:26hit my brother!
00:49:27I'm never letting you
00:49:28leave here alive!
00:49:30That's awesome.
00:49:31I do something.
00:49:32Don't worry, my dear.
00:49:34After I'm done
00:49:34with you, Trixie,
00:49:35not even the goddess
00:49:36of healing
00:49:37will be able to save you.
00:49:40Oh, is that so?
00:49:42Security!
00:49:44Get down on your knees
00:49:46and give Bob
00:49:47one hell of a blowjob
00:49:48in front of everybody here
00:49:50or I'll pop so many holes
00:49:52in you
00:49:52the men here
00:49:53won't know which one to fuck.
00:49:54I don't need to be
00:49:55the goddess of anything
00:49:56to punish you.
00:49:57Any of the powerful leaders
00:49:58I've saved before
00:49:59could crush you
00:50:00before you even touch me.
00:50:02Dream on!
00:50:04You wish General Lysander
00:50:05scooped you off your feet
00:50:07but you weren't good enough
00:50:08for me.
00:50:08You're definitely
00:50:09not good enough for him.
00:50:10Enough!
00:50:11You're souring my party
00:50:13so you either
00:50:14get the fuck out
00:50:16or I'm gonna shoot you.
00:50:18On the count of three!
00:50:20I think I quite like it here.
00:50:21Two!
00:50:33This wine is so delicious.
00:50:36One!
00:50:37Shoot!
00:50:40Nobody is laying a hand
00:50:42on my future wife.
00:50:49It's...
00:50:50It's...
00:51:01Who the hell is this?
00:51:06I'm sorry that I'm late.
00:51:07Did they hurt you?
00:51:09No.
00:51:10I'm fine.
00:51:11But, um...
00:51:12When did I become
00:51:13your future wife?
00:51:15You saved me,
00:51:17Trixie.
00:51:18Remember?
00:51:18I'm a man of my word.
00:51:20They're never gonna hurt you
00:51:21ever again.
00:51:22Really,
00:51:23it was nothing.
00:51:24I saved you
00:51:25because you're a good man.
00:51:27Not because I want you
00:51:28to owe me any favors.
00:51:35I see what this is.
00:51:36You're the one
00:51:37who cheated on me,
00:51:38Trixie.
00:51:38Look at you guys
00:51:39all lovey-dove.
00:51:40Don't try to pin this
00:51:41on her.
00:51:42She waited for you
00:51:43for three years.
00:51:43This is the kind
00:51:44of woman of virtue
00:51:45that a man would die for.
00:51:48Virtue?
00:51:50Don't make me laugh.
00:51:51She's probably out there
00:51:53giving blowjobs for cash.
00:51:54No man who,
00:51:56in a hundred-foot pole,
00:51:57would want to touch her.
00:51:58She should be happy
00:51:59Bob was willing
00:52:00to give her some.
00:52:05I see her in the Marines.
00:52:08I'm a major.
00:52:09You know,
00:52:10look man,
00:52:11I know Trixie is like a,
00:52:13I don't know,
00:52:14like a seven.
00:52:14Now that she's
00:52:15all cleaned up,
00:52:16but don't waste your manhood
00:52:17on a whiny,
00:52:18worthless woman
00:52:19like that.
00:52:20Ow!
00:52:21Ow!
00:52:22Ow!
00:52:24Ah!
00:52:25A real man
00:52:27never talks about
00:52:28a woman that way.
00:52:29You're a coward.
00:52:40We don't need
00:52:41to fight fire with fire
00:52:42to deal with
00:52:42the likes of them.
00:52:44You're very gracious,
00:52:45Trixie,
00:52:46you know that?
00:52:49You're only getting off
00:52:50with it because
00:52:50she's so kind,
00:52:51so you're gonna do me
00:52:52the favor of never
00:52:52coming near her again.
00:52:53You understand?
00:52:54You wanna fuck with me,
00:52:55you little dipshit?
00:52:56I'm a fucking major.
00:52:58You're probably lowest rank
00:52:59of the military grunts.
00:53:01I'll,
00:53:01I'll destroy you.
00:53:03Do you really not know
00:53:04who this is, Butch?
00:53:05I thought you were
00:53:06in the Marines.
00:53:07What have you been
00:53:07doing this whole time
00:53:08if you don't know
00:53:09who this war hero is?
00:53:11He was just a supply boy.
00:53:15War hero?
00:53:17Is this all part
00:53:18of your plan, Trixie?
00:53:20Poor girl.
00:53:21Did you sell your house
00:53:22to hire this actor
00:53:23so you can feel
00:53:24better about yourself?
00:53:25A woman's worth
00:53:26is tied to the man
00:53:27she marries.
00:53:28Trixie is worthless
00:53:29because Zach
00:53:29looks like a cowboy.
00:53:34A bum girl
00:53:35and a pimp.
00:53:36What a pair.
00:53:38Seems like they
00:53:39don't know who you are
00:53:39since you've been
00:53:40out of action
00:53:40for so long.
00:53:42Maybe we should try
00:53:42to place them
00:53:43off some more.
00:53:44Don't you think?
00:53:46Bring in the wedding gifts.
00:53:55What is all this?
00:53:57Trixie, listen.
00:53:57I know that you
00:53:58didn't ask for anything
00:53:59after you saved my life.
00:54:01But I know that we
00:54:02shared a moment.
00:54:06I'm not the kind of man
00:54:07to get close to a woman
00:54:08and then just disappear.
00:54:10It's not in my nature.
00:54:12I'm like somebody else here.
00:54:14Listen, Trixie,
00:54:16I have never
00:54:17met a woman
00:54:20like you.
00:54:22So incredible
00:54:23and kind
00:54:24and beautiful.
00:54:25So I know
00:54:26that you're the one for me.
00:54:29This guy's either nuts
00:54:31or a really
00:54:31really good actor.
00:54:34Oscar worthy.
00:54:35Oscar worthy.
00:54:36No.
00:54:38First gift.
00:54:43Trixie,
00:54:44I know that you
00:54:45just lost your home.
00:54:46So I'm gifting you
00:54:47with your own
00:54:48new mansion.
00:54:49Worth $500 million.
00:54:51Previously owned
00:54:52by Jennifer Aniston.
00:54:55Second gift.
00:54:59This contains
00:55:00all the rights
00:55:00to my entire fortune,
00:55:03which is now yours.
00:55:04Entire fortune
00:55:05from a cowboy actor?
00:55:07It must be that easy.
00:55:08They already spent
00:55:09their entire life savings
00:55:10on this clown show.
00:55:11They've got nothing left.
00:55:13Lysander,
00:55:13I really don't care
00:55:15for any of us.
00:55:15Look, I know.
00:55:17I know that you are
00:55:18the farthest thing
00:55:19from a material woman.
00:55:20Okay?
00:55:21Which is exactly why
00:55:22my third gift
00:55:24is, um,
00:55:26well,
00:55:26need help.
00:55:27I know that you
00:55:31need help.
00:55:35I know that you
00:55:53need help.
00:56:00will you marry me
00:56:03you know I can't say no to this doggo
00:56:09yes
00:56:10I will marry you
00:56:27go go power couple
00:56:31okay stop
00:56:33the only power couple here is Butch and I
00:56:36let's remind everyone how worthless Trixie is
00:56:40no man in their right mind
00:56:43would marry that embarrassing sack of scraps
00:56:46hey
00:56:47I don't care if she's homeless or not
00:56:48but I'm making this woman my wife
00:56:50which means that she will be treated as
00:56:53and cherished as the most precious woman on earth
00:56:55understand
00:57:00you still don't realize
00:57:02that my brother is the most powerful man on earth
00:57:05this is General Lysander Armstrong
00:57:15as if
00:57:16like the almighty General Lysander Armstrong
00:57:19would propose to a homeless prostitute like Trixie
00:57:22yes
00:57:23the Armstrong family basically control the global stock
00:57:25market
00:57:26Lysander Armstrong would sooner marry the princess of England than someone from the lowest rank of society
00:57:31I bet my life you're all just
00:57:34actors
00:57:34then you better enjoy your last breath
00:57:36come on Lysander what are we waiting for
00:57:38let's show them what we can do and get revenge for Trixie
00:57:40what can a bunch of piss poor people do to us the elites
00:57:44infect us with your poor people bad luck
00:57:46she wishes she could blame her low status on bad luck
00:57:49truth is she's just a useless lazy bitch and bum
00:57:53she's utterly unmarriable
00:57:58I can dispose of them in other means if you don't prefer violence
00:58:03I'd handle them myself but
00:58:07I'll let you do all the heavy lifting
00:58:09go ahead Lysander
00:58:17yes hello this is Lysander please
00:58:19bankrupt Marissa Wickham for me
00:58:22oh my gosh I'm so scared
00:58:25anyone these days could call anyone and pretend to be on the phone
00:58:34uh hello
00:58:36yes
00:58:39what
00:58:44I'm a bankrupt
00:58:53hey hey
00:58:55are you sure that was the call Sasa
00:58:57that was a real call
00:58:59people don't just suddenly go bankrupt like that
00:59:01my company's dead
00:59:03evaporated
00:59:03it's in thin air
00:59:08that's impossible
00:59:10who are you
00:59:11what did you do
00:59:13secretary Cho
00:59:13you said you're the secretary of health right
00:59:16and you yourself said that the Armstrong family owns the entire global stock market
00:59:20could that be how they bankrupted miss Wickham
00:59:23then that means
00:59:26you're really Lysander Armstrong
00:59:29the richest and most powerful man in the country
00:59:33Trixie's married
00:59:34the famed war hero
00:59:36the man every girl wants and every man wants to be
00:59:41now you believe me
00:59:42those who do bad will always end up losing everything
00:59:46there's got to be some trick to this
00:59:48you guys are just bums trying to extort money from us
00:59:51Sasa
01:00:00I know why you're all over Trixie
01:00:02because you've been in the military for so long
01:00:04you don't know what a real woman can do for you
01:00:07let me take you to my wedding chamber
01:00:09and I'll show you a good time
01:00:12do you want to rub your hands for me
01:00:14or I'll have them removed for you
01:00:15I would never be interested in a woman
01:00:22who's as vile and cruel and wicked
01:00:25as you are
01:00:26guess the cheater gets cheated on eventually
01:00:31Sasa was just trying to save the company
01:00:34I don't blame her at all
01:00:35your double standards are incredible
01:00:37okay you don't want me
01:00:39fine
01:00:39but there's plenty of other efficiency
01:00:41I can give you a room full of pageant winners
01:00:4418 years old
01:00:45fresh for the taking
01:00:53I did that so you wouldn't have to
01:00:55Miss Trixie
01:00:56thank you Devin
01:00:59Marissa
01:01:00not only have you backstabbed me
01:01:02your best friend
01:01:03by stealing my fiance
01:01:05but now you'd sell out other innocent girls
01:01:08just to get your company back
01:01:09you're an insult to all good women out there
01:01:12no to all of humanity
01:01:13so now
01:01:14everything that I've ever given you to
01:01:17I'm taking it all back
01:01:21wait everyone stop
01:01:25they're imposters
01:01:30I just got off the phone with the president
01:01:32she said your contract is not getting cancelled
01:01:34because it was assigned by the goddess healer herself
01:01:37so we won't go bankrupt
01:01:39the goddess healer
01:01:41you mean the eccentric and highly elusive sage in the field of medicine
01:01:44approved of my biomedical products
01:01:47yes that's the highest honor anyone can have in the field of health and medicine
01:01:51the goddess healer's motto is
01:01:53the right rewrites the wrong
01:01:55the left leave the wrong
01:01:57bereft
01:01:58that means she's rewarding me
01:02:00the president would never let your company go bankrupt
01:02:03in fact
01:02:04she's on her way now
01:02:07so you're telling me
01:02:09this dashingly handsome motherfucker over here
01:02:12isn't Lysander Armstrong
01:02:14who the fuck cares who he is
01:02:15if the president and the goddess healer
01:02:17approves of my products
01:02:19who cares about this washed up war hero
01:02:21we can break his legs
01:02:22break his arms
01:02:23no one would even bat an eye
01:02:24she even gave us explicit permission
01:02:26to call upon secret services
01:02:28FBI
01:02:31you're under arrest for fraudulent claims
01:02:33and identity theft
01:02:36gotcha
01:02:41guess I still get the last laugh Trixie
01:02:43no don't arrest her
01:02:46Trixie is a good person
01:02:48please officer don't arrest her
01:02:50grandma
01:02:50Mr. Rogers
01:02:52Mrs. Williams
01:02:52what are you all doing here
01:02:54the neighbors heard about the breakup between you and Butch
01:02:56we were worried
01:02:58so we came here to back you up
01:03:00listen officer
01:03:01I can attest that Trixie Amoria
01:03:03it's a good neighbor
01:03:04she's very kind hearted
01:03:06and would never break the law
01:03:08yes and one time when my daughter needed university tuition
01:03:11Trixie gave her everything she had
01:03:13just to help her out
01:03:15she also paid for my recent heart surgery as well
01:03:18my fiance really is an incredible woman
01:03:20she's an angel
01:03:22descended from heaven
01:03:28you must be the criminal pretending to be General Lysander Armstrong
01:03:32my brother is not a criminal
01:03:34he's a war hero
01:03:35who single-handedly saved this country from a terrorist attack
01:03:38without him this whole country would have been bombed to ash
01:03:41and that's why his choice to crime is stealing his identity
01:03:45General Lysander Armstrong only fell into a coma because of the fight with the terrorist
01:03:49and we've received no word that he's woken up yet
01:03:51so this must be an imposter
01:03:54I can tell that this whole dilemma with my identity is causing you a lot of trouble
01:03:58but I promise I'll get it resolved and we can focus on taking down your scumbag ex
01:04:04if you want to arrest me, fine
01:04:07but don't fuck with my fiance
01:04:09you don't get to decide, punk
01:04:10let's go
01:04:34get him
01:04:35if you can
01:05:27is that enough pain
01:05:28or do you want more?
01:05:37legend
01:05:37is written all over you, Lysander
01:05:42drama
01:05:44meet my new fiance
01:05:48wow, your new fiance
01:05:50he's so manly
01:05:52much better than your last one
01:05:54I always knew you'd find someone better
01:05:57it's Butch's loss
01:05:58Trixie has always paid so much better than Marissa
01:06:01she's like a shining star in the sky and Marissa is like a roach in the sewers
01:06:07bitch, we name calling now?
01:06:09I'll drown you out with insults from my side, right fam?
01:06:12drown out the poor
01:06:13drown out the poor
01:06:14drown out the poor
01:06:16drown out the poor
01:06:17drown out the poor
01:06:19drown out the poor
01:06:20see Trixie?
01:06:21you've got no connections
01:06:23no power
01:06:24you can't compete against me even if you have one guy on your side who can fight
01:06:27we're too honorable to fight dirty like you
01:06:30so you're using defenseless lives as your shield because you know we won't hurt them
01:06:35let them eat cake
01:06:36you can't shoot all of them
01:06:47grab what you can't fam
01:06:48attack
01:07:06you will not hurt a single soul in my presence
01:07:15what the fuck was that?
01:07:17I don't care what the fuck it was
01:07:19I'm not letting her make a fool of me at my own wedding
01:07:28damn it
01:07:32you forgot I had a gun too
01:07:35that'll teach you for messing with the wig hams
01:07:37take Miss Trixie and her family and get out of here
01:07:39we're cornered
01:07:39I'll sacrifice myself to fend them off
01:07:42Devon, you and your brother are both good men
01:07:45I will not let your injury be in vain
01:07:48they will be punished
01:07:52now hold still for me
01:07:56right
01:07:57rewrites the world
01:08:08holy fuck
01:08:09did she just reverse the bullet?
01:08:11by chanting the goddess healer's chant?
01:08:13is she the goddess healer?
01:08:19I'm all better now
01:08:20thank you Miss Trixie
01:08:22see
01:08:22I knew that you were no ordinary woman
01:08:25no
01:08:25please
01:08:26I am just an ordinary girl
01:08:28don't put me on some sort of pedestal
01:08:30sure
01:08:32you hear that?
01:08:33she's just some average homeless girl on the streets
01:08:36she was probably holding out a super magnet that drew out the bullet
01:08:38while I do not care for glory
01:08:41I do believe in justice
01:08:43Marissa and Butch
01:08:44not only have you betrayed me
01:08:46but now you've hurt the innocent too
01:08:48I will make you both pay for your crimes
01:08:50and who are you to judge me for what I do?
01:08:53God?
01:08:55wrong
01:08:56but you're close
01:08:57bullshit
01:08:59I'm gonna show you how the elite can travel in your little lives
01:09:04you want to cross the line so bad?
01:09:06then let's see you try
01:09:07charge!
01:09:17the hell is this?
01:09:19this is the line between life and death
01:09:23yo was that extra neon spray paint?
01:09:26I'll admit it looks pretty good
01:09:27but I'll die before I believe that's magic
01:09:30yeah
01:09:31you're not the grim reaper
01:09:32what if it's a trap?
01:09:34that woman has many tricks up her sleeves
01:09:36we ain't afraid of her
01:09:37she's nothing but a circus prostitute
01:09:40why don't you cross the line and see for yourself?
01:09:42I will
01:09:46left
01:09:47leaves the wrong draft
01:09:56I'm fine
01:09:57nothing happened
01:09:58you'll see soon enough
01:10:00oh please
01:10:01I really want to die
01:10:02and you call this the line between life and death?
01:10:05I knew you were just making that shit up
01:10:07whoops
01:10:08just crossed it again
01:10:09whoops
01:10:10and again
01:10:12nothing's happening
01:10:14stop
01:10:15stop
01:10:20stop
01:10:20stop
01:10:21stop
01:10:21stop
01:10:21stop
01:10:21stop
01:10:21stop
01:10:24no
01:10:24no
01:10:25no
01:10:26hey
01:10:27what did you do to my brother?
01:10:29I didn't do anything
01:10:30your brother just didn't want to heed my warning
01:10:33I suggest you take him to the ER
01:10:35if you don't want your wedding to become his funeral
01:10:39come on
01:10:41major
01:10:42are you not going to help your own brother?
01:10:44how was he able to cross the line?
01:10:45see this must be an illusion
01:10:50only the pure of heart can cross the line
01:10:52will somebody take my brother to the hospital please?
01:11:02you're so sore I wouldn't marry you you go and hurt my brother
01:11:05oh please
01:11:06you hurt us first
01:11:08at first I was really hurt by your betrayal
01:11:11but I've come to realize your true colors are that of a snake and a coward
01:11:15Marissa
01:11:16thanks for taking this low life from me
01:11:20you blame yourself for being worthless
01:11:23you think anyone would want to marry you when you got nothing to offer?
01:11:28when you wear odd and crazy clothes all day?
01:11:34don't touch my wife
01:11:37and instead Trixie gets a handsome and protective husband
01:11:43you can daydream all you want now Trixie
01:11:45but when the presidential contract arrives
01:11:47it'll hit you like a fucking truck
01:11:49that you're nothing but an ugly phony
01:11:51and I'm the queen of everything
01:11:52oh really?
01:11:54then let me show you how it is I who has everything you want
01:11:57you've got nothing on me
01:12:03yes
01:12:03tell the president to get here immediately
01:12:10goddess
01:12:11madam president
01:12:12I require your assistance
01:12:14yes we'll be there immediately
01:12:19get the VP we're leaving now
01:12:24did she just pretend to call the first woman president of the United States?
01:12:28god I knew you were cheap but I didn't know you were crazy too
01:12:31I'm so glad I dumped you for Marissa
01:12:34you're pathetic Trixie
01:12:36a secretary to remind everyone how I have the presidential contract coming?
01:12:40Miss Wickham is correct
01:12:41I was on the phone with the president earlier
01:12:43only the most important people have madam president's direct line
01:12:47you hear that everyone?
01:12:48there is no way low life Trixie
01:12:51could have called the president by herself
01:12:54she's just a desperate phony
01:12:56who doesn't get enough male attention
01:12:58so she's come here to play up her importance
01:13:00no
01:13:00my granddaughter would never do that
01:13:03reversing time just to heal someone's wound
01:13:06only the goddess healer can do that
01:13:08is Trixie really the goddess healer?
01:13:17oh
01:13:18first your boy toy actor pretends to be the war hero general Lysander Armstrong
01:13:22and now you Trixie are pretending to be the goddess healer who gave me my presidential contract?
01:13:28is this how the working class think all the time?
01:13:32I never realized how delusional they were
01:13:34you can only dream of what you can never have
01:13:37while we rub our riches and privilege in their faces
01:13:40look I don't know what circus school you went to
01:13:43but you trying to make me jealous Trixie?
01:13:45it ain't working
01:13:46you can't just fake the
01:13:50yeah but goddess healing power is legendary
01:13:53it's like real magic
01:13:54Trixie you're an angel
01:13:57but the goddess healing is beyond your imagination
01:14:00and if we steal her identity just to punish her ex
01:14:03won't her followers be furious and riot against you?
01:14:08no
01:14:09Trixie look
01:14:11I believe you
01:14:12you saved me
01:14:14whether you're a goddess or not
01:14:16you did that
01:14:17no matter what happens you are a goddess to me
01:14:21we'll riot against you now
01:14:23tear her apart
01:14:24tear her apart
01:14:26tear her apart
01:14:29tear her apart
01:14:31the vice president arrives
01:14:48who dare cause ruckus in here
01:14:54your general Lysander Armstrong
01:14:56wait what?
01:14:59he's actually general Lysander Armstrong?
01:15:01no no
01:15:02we've been through this already once okay?
01:15:04right Secretary Cho?
01:15:06this actor Trixie hired
01:15:08pulled this weird stunt to try to bankrupt me
01:15:11but you already confirmed with Madame President
01:15:13that I got the contract coming still right?
01:15:16yes
01:15:16we all thought he was a fraud
01:15:18what I mean is
01:15:21you're the war hero
01:15:22general Lysander Armstrong
01:15:24and how dare you crash Miss Wickham's wedding
01:15:27the moment you wake up
01:15:28you fall under this vixen spell
01:15:30and now you're attacking one of the most important allies to the president?
01:15:35he is the general
01:15:37oh but he's in trouble now
01:15:39did you hear that?
01:15:41even the vice president knows me as an important ally to the nation's leader
01:15:45so what if Trixie picked up some washed up war hero?
01:15:48we got the VP and the president
01:15:50on our side?
01:15:52you'll always be nothing Trixie
01:15:55I told you
01:15:56now punish them Vice President Langley
01:15:58this is treason
01:15:59Lysander Armstrong
01:16:01you are stripped from your military honors and titles
01:16:08hurry
01:16:09the goddess healer needs us
01:16:13you can't do that Mr. Vice President
01:16:15my brother is a war hero
01:16:17he single-handedly saved this country from terrorist attack
01:16:19he was in a coma for two years
01:16:21if it wasn't for Miss Trixie he would
01:16:23enough
01:16:23you speak another word and I will bring down your entire family
01:16:27not just your brother
01:16:29yeah
01:16:31it's okay
01:16:33Mr. Vice President I've already given my life once for my country
01:16:36I have no problem doing that again if it means protecting my fiance's life
01:16:41and let's be honest about one other thing Mr. Vice President
01:16:43I never gave a fuck
01:16:45about any damn titles
01:16:49I truly saved a good man
01:16:56I will not let you bring ruin to my fiance
01:16:59and what can you do about it
01:17:01oh Mr. Vice President I have swell idea
01:17:03my biomedical company invented the latest line of poison darts for the military
01:17:08let's try it out on them
01:17:12hold on Mr. Vice President
01:17:13there's no way that you're taking this seriously
01:17:15put innocent civilian lives in danger
01:17:17despicable
01:17:18what's more despicable is that you and your filthy companions are disrespecting power
01:17:24Ms. Wickham
01:17:25you can use full force on them
01:17:28did you hear that boys?
01:17:32oh
01:17:42shoot
01:17:43wait that's the president
01:17:50oh
01:17:50holy
01:17:57oh
01:17:57hey idiot
01:17:58what the hell?ators
01:17:59oh
01:17:59my god plaguing
01:18:00too ugh
01:18:05Oh, my gosh. I'm so sorry, Madame President.
01:18:09That was... They were totally aiming for Trixie, the fraud in the middle.
01:18:14What is this?
01:18:15Oh, that's my new biomedical weapon, Madame, for your military.
01:18:19This is a war crime. These are innocent civilian lives you're messing with.
01:18:23You're the uncivilized buffoon. I can shoot whoever I want. I have the presidential contract.
01:18:27With great power comes great responsibility. And this is the kind of dastardly creation you've made with the contract I
01:18:34gave you?
01:18:35What are you doing? Reverse the poison and take it out of the present before it's too late.
01:18:39That is easy. There's no need. I'll save everyone.
01:18:57It's raining gold!
01:19:00What's happening? Trixie doesn't have that kind of money. It's got to be cheap glitter.
01:19:07She... She is...
01:19:10She is a criminal. Don't worry, Madame President. We will arrest her and we'll throw her in prison.
01:19:15I'd be quiet if I were you. Because you're the one that would be going to prison once everyone is
01:19:19healed up.
01:19:20What are you talking about? The President literally came here to give me my billion dollar contract.
01:19:34This contract?
01:19:36Yeah! Yes! Thank you, first gentleman.
01:19:56My contract, you bitch!
01:19:59And that's not all.
01:20:12This foul weapon will not see the light of day.
01:20:15There is only a need for a vaccine if there is a virus. Don't you realize?
01:20:19Or are you too much of a goody two-shoes to understand that?
01:20:23You're the real virus here, Marissa. Money is worth more to you than human lives.
01:20:28And that's something I cannot tolerate.
01:20:31So prepare yourself.
01:20:32Because I'm about to smite you.
01:20:35What are you gonna do? The President is here and I just invented the best biomedical products in the world.
01:20:43You'll pardon me for that little mishap, right?
01:20:47Madam President, you've recovered now.
01:20:50So what's your final decision?
01:20:54I'll...
01:20:54She's gonna give me my billion dollar!
01:21:02I'll smack her until she sees 50 stars.
01:21:09Why are you attacking me, Madam President?
01:21:11You're supposed to be giving me the billion dollar closet!
01:21:14You wish, you idiot!
01:21:18I've never seen a woman so vile, so ugly on the inside, it makes me wanna vomit.
01:21:24I-I-I don't understand. I was just trying to punish these impostors for posing as the Goddess of Healing!
01:21:31And do you know the Goddess Healing saved me and my son during childbirth?
01:21:36You've really seen the Goddess Healer herself in the flesh?
01:21:40The one and only.
01:21:43And it's...
01:21:47Her.
01:21:48Her!
01:21:50Her!
01:21:55Her!
01:21:57Her!
01:21:58What?!
01:22:03Welcome, Goddess.
01:22:15You really are the Goddess of Healing, aren't you?
01:22:18How else did you think I saved you?
01:22:21Then why did you keep it a secret for so long?
01:22:25I wanted to walk the earth as a normal person.
01:22:28To help those in need.
01:22:30And make sure the man I chose loved me for me.
01:22:33No, so that means...
01:22:35The billion dollar contract, it-it was you who gave it to me?
01:22:39Then she took it away just like that.
01:22:42That was her golden ticket.
01:22:44You were once my fiancΓ© and best friend.
01:22:47But after everything you've done, I'm officially getting ties with you both.
01:22:51No, please. I swear to you.
01:22:53I didn't know you were an exorcist.
01:22:57It doesn't matter who she is.
01:22:59Trixie has a heart of gold.
01:23:01She's an amazing person.
01:23:02And you ruined that the moment that you betrayed her.
01:23:06She's gonna be my wife.
01:23:07Because she is the most beautiful and amazing woman on this planet.
01:23:16I love you.
01:23:30All her gold.
01:23:31All her clothes.
01:23:33All that could have been mine.
01:23:35This is all your fault.
01:23:37You seduce me!
01:23:39Don't help me!
01:23:40You were the one that came onto me, you himbo!
01:23:43Please, Trixie.
01:23:45Give me another chance!
01:23:47I wanna be rich again!
01:23:50I'll be your slave.
01:23:51Kiss the ground you walk on!
01:23:53You've had your chance to apologize.
01:23:55But it's too late now.
01:23:56All I see is your greed and how much you'd hurt others just to benefit yourself.
01:24:02You two should be locked up.
01:24:04And she shall.
01:24:05For creating illegal weapons of mass destruction.
01:24:08Arrest Marissa and Butch Wickham!
01:24:11It's all your fault, Marissa. I never loved you!
01:24:14It's your fault!
01:24:15I was only with you for your money!
01:24:17I don't care!
01:24:18You were rich!
01:24:19I'll see myself now!
01:24:22Rest assured, Goddess.
01:24:23We will not be using these biomedical weapons.
01:24:27My platform is spreading kindness, just like you.
01:24:31I knew you'd uphold our shared values.
01:24:33That is why I saved you.
01:24:35With these healing hands, I will work tirelessly to change the world one good deed at a time.
01:24:41Well, let's not let this wedding go to waste.
01:24:47Let's party!
01:24:49Wait, what if we just got married?
01:24:51Right now?
01:24:52Yes! Well...
01:24:56Do you take each other to be your lawfully wedded partner?
01:25:01I do.
01:25:02You may kiss the bride.
01:25:04One day...
01:25:06Tell him...
01:25:08Aw hoor!
01:25:09You all heard that word.
01:25:10Which one looks like...
01:25:10A Henry Wold!
01:25:12You
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