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00:02:03Wayne Carpenter
00:02:06I live on Wild Horse Road, Pocatello, Idaho
00:02:10I'm a high school English teacher
00:02:13We'll say he was a bank manager
00:02:19I'm a bank manager
00:02:22No!
00:02:23An English teacher
00:02:25Actually, he was an auto mechanic
00:02:32An auto mechanic?
00:02:36John knew what he had to do
00:03:06This is what he had to do
00:03:32The desperate man burns
00:03:37Through this hell is packs a cheese
00:03:41That he was an coaster of these
00:03:41We were a six-year-old boy
00:03:41Yeah!
00:03:45Yeah!
00:03:45Oh, my God.
00:04:17Oh, my God.
00:04:56Oh, my God.
00:05:17Oh, my God.
00:05:45Oh, my God.
00:05:45Oh, my God.
00:05:46Oh, my God.
00:05:55Oh, my God.
00:05:57Cody, you scared me.
00:05:59What took you so long?
00:06:00Did you go up yet?
00:06:01I was waiting for His Majesty, the great Grant Beverly.
00:06:04You don't say.
00:06:06Well, um, shall we?
00:06:13Oh, my God.
00:06:15Oh, my God.
00:06:17Oh, my God.
00:06:22Oh, my God.
00:06:36I've managed to have managed to stay friends like this, Beverly.
00:06:38Well, I've heard maintaining long-term friendships is important.
00:06:42I don't know why, but that's what they say.
00:06:44Tell me about it.
00:06:45You know that I've never been dumped.
00:06:46But if I had, I definitely wouldn't be as chill about it as you and Wilda.
00:06:50Wilda didn't dump me.
00:06:51Wilda didn't dump me.
00:06:51It was a mutual parting of ways.
00:06:52Oh, yeah.
00:06:54I keep forgetting that.
00:06:55It's probably because people who say that are full of shit.
00:07:02Yay!
00:07:03Cody, you made it.
00:07:06Hey, Grant.
00:07:07Hey.
00:07:07Hey.
00:07:08Hey.
00:07:13I'm so glad we're still going on this trip together.
00:07:15Yeah, I haven't been to Arches in, like, forever.
00:07:17They took us down there for an overnight in middle school.
00:07:19That may have been the last time.
00:07:21They drove you rich brats all the way down there from Park City?
00:07:24Best practice, Wilda.
00:07:25Oh, yeah.
00:07:25Sorry, I was just inside.
00:07:29Put yours on.
00:07:30No.
00:07:31Yeah.
00:07:31No.
00:07:31God, do you guys remember the last time there was inversion so bad we actually had to leave
00:07:35town like this?
00:07:36Like, jeez.
00:07:37We'll be okay.
00:07:38The open desert is our best bet to avoid the poison air until the cold weather can get
00:07:43back on top of the hot weather.
00:07:44This is, of course, assuming that there is enough bile crust left down there to keep the
00:07:49sand from swirling around like it's a fucking dust bowl.
00:07:52I don't understand what the big deal is.
00:07:54I mean, inversions happen, like, five times a year.
00:07:57Yeah, but this is one of the ones that happens five times a year.
00:07:59Only once every 30 years.
00:08:01No, 27 years is what I read.
00:08:03Where'd you read that?
00:08:05On a website.
00:08:07And remind me why we're not just going up to the lake with everyone else.
00:08:10You know, Mel, Frankie, and Vanessa said it's like spring break up there right now.
00:08:13Oh.
00:08:13It's because you don't know shit about how the world works, Beverly.
00:08:16Once the inversion breaks and the airships north, that Bear Lake Air is going to be like 30%
00:08:21copper fracking jizz.
00:08:23No, no more climate change talk on the script, Cody.
00:08:25It freaks me out, okay?
00:08:27The inversion's bad enough.
00:08:28Yeah.
00:08:29It's like a mini Chernobyl fantasy camp weekend or something.
00:08:32Hey, it is not my fault that our polygamist UFO forefathers built this city in the low valley
00:08:37under what is the meteorological equivalent of the Bermuda fucking triangle.
00:08:47Did you get gas?
00:08:48Yeah, I got gas.
00:08:49Hey, why'd you park so far away?
00:08:52Hey, don't worry, Grant.
00:08:53The desert will be fun.
00:08:55You can pretend you're on the Star Wars planet.
00:08:58Which Star Wars planet?
00:09:00Guessing you probably mean either Tatooine or Jakku.
00:09:03No, it's the sandworm one.
00:09:05What is that called?
00:09:06Dune?
00:09:07Huh.
00:09:07That's Paracus and that's not even Star Wars.
00:09:10Jesus, Wilde.
00:09:11I promise you do not want to get Beverly started on his George Lucas bullshit.
00:09:16I think Grant's kind of cute when he goes on his little rants about ass prick ratios or...
00:09:20Aspect ratios.
00:09:22That's what I said.
00:09:22Ass prick ratios.
00:09:24God, you learned so much dating a film major for three years.
00:09:27Yeah, that sounds cool.
00:09:28If you like low-T beta cucks and that super masculine, conscientiously progressive environmental studies majors.
00:09:36Wow, I can already tell this trip is going to be intense.
00:09:40Get it?
00:09:41In-tense?
00:09:42Oh, no.
00:09:43No, I'm declaring this evacuation slash weekend getaway a pun-free zone.
00:09:49What?
00:09:50No.
00:09:50Boo.
00:09:51Boo him, Cody.
00:09:52Boo.
00:09:53Beverly fucking sucks.
00:09:56What is this piece of shit?
00:09:57Careful.
00:09:57That's vintage.
00:09:59Yeah.
00:09:59Well, what is it?
00:10:00Nothing.
00:10:00My folks had to get rid of a bunch of stuff when they downsized to the condo.
00:10:04There was a bunch of cool old TV equipment for my granddad's Channel 2 days.
00:10:07Yeah?
00:10:07It doesn't even work?
00:10:08There's no tape in it.
00:10:09No, let me see.
00:10:13Whoa.
00:10:15Do you think your grandparents ever used this to make a sexual tape?
00:10:19Oh, no.
00:10:20Do not make me think about old people fucking.
00:10:23Why not?
00:10:23Grant's grandma is hot.
00:10:25And Peapaw?
00:10:26He's like a legit Salt Lake age.
00:10:28They did not let Elgo's on TV in the Reagan era.
00:10:30Wait.
00:10:31No, you're wrong.
00:10:32There's a tape in here.
00:10:33Don't mess with it.
00:10:34It looks like we can play it back.
00:10:36Do you want to see what's on it?
00:10:37Don't!
00:10:38Why not, Beverly?
00:10:39What are we going to find on here?
00:10:41Well, he's just worried because it's fragile.
00:10:44Well, if it's so fragile, then why are we taking it to the desert?
00:10:48Well, I was going to bring this up later, but do you guys remember the 24-hour film thing
00:10:53I sent you?
00:10:54No.
00:10:54No.
00:10:55We are not doing homework on this weekend, okay?
00:10:57This trip is about two things and two things only.
00:11:01One, to practice being climate refugees, which we will all be in a few years.
00:11:05Yeah.
00:11:05And two, getting rat shit fucking hammered in the desert.
00:11:10Yeah.
00:11:10It's not for class.
00:11:12It's for an analog media short film festival.
00:11:14A really cool one, actually, out of Seattle.
00:11:17Ooh.
00:11:18Cool.
00:11:19Super cool.
00:11:20Hey, if you think for one second that we're going to lug that thing all the way to Delacarge,
00:11:25you're dead wrong.
00:11:26Oh, and did you remind your cousin that I was not kidding about bringing the sunshine?
00:11:31Yeah.
00:11:32Though, hopefully they didn't think it was code for, like, angel dust or something.
00:11:47Bird!
00:11:48My furgy-wurgy!
00:11:51Well done.
00:11:51What up, guys?
00:11:53Stop!
00:11:55Don't tell me that whole cooler is full of booze and drugs.
00:11:59Oh, it is.
00:12:00This whole cooler is full of booze and drugs.
00:12:03Hey, the inversion's coming down pretty hard.
00:12:04Don't get any in your eyes.
00:12:06Is this how fucked up are you playing around getting down there?
00:12:08Fuck you, dude!
00:12:13What?
00:12:14Oh, I am madder.
00:12:20Oh, I am madder.
00:12:23Hey.
00:12:24Out of the way!
00:12:27What's that?
00:12:29Fucked up, right?
00:12:30So, Grant's Meemaw and people use this to make porn parodies of CBS Sunday morning.
00:12:35Oh, really?
00:12:36That's cruel as hell, dude.
00:12:37Oh, my God.
00:12:37Have you ever seen that show?
00:12:39All the anchors look like they're fucking melting.
00:12:41Okay!
00:12:44Careful, it's vintage.
00:12:50These influencer bitches get, like, free everything.
00:12:52I really need some sort of marketable social media gimmick.
00:12:56Mmm, like what?
00:12:58I don't know.
00:12:59Like, what about wellness?
00:13:02But, like, like spooky.
00:13:05Spooky wellness?
00:13:06Yeah, like, put this yogurt in your pussy hole.
00:13:09Uh, uh, uh.
00:13:11People love Halloween and people love wellness.
00:13:15Oh, what do you think of the name Creepy?
00:13:23What?
00:13:32Fucking social media.
00:13:34I hate our fucking generation.
00:13:36We are so detached from, like, reality and ecology and shit.
00:13:40I mean, fuck us.
00:13:41We suck.
00:13:42Yeah, but, like, dude.
00:13:45I mean, what if there was no reality to be attached to?
00:13:49Yeah, it's pretty arrogant to assume that any of this is actually happening.
00:13:53Or has.
00:13:55Or will.
00:13:56Ever happen, you know?
00:13:58I obviously consider myself something of an expert on transitory states of being and, yo,
00:14:04I mean, a keen spiritual adapt might actually have the ability to vent tiny in space.
00:14:23Oh, shit, dude.
00:14:25What the fuck?
00:14:25Beverly?
00:14:27Was there a deer or something?
00:14:29What?
00:14:29Beverly is a deer?
00:14:30Did you guys feel that?
00:14:31Feel what?
00:14:33It just changed.
00:14:35What changed?
00:14:38I don't know.
00:14:40The road?
00:14:41The light?
00:14:42Everything.
00:14:44How long have we been driving for?
00:14:47Like, a couple of hours.
00:14:49Are you okay to drive, D-Thug?
00:14:50Maybe I should drive.
00:14:51No.
00:14:53Uh, yeah, sure.
00:14:54Maybe, yeah.
00:14:57I'm coming.
00:15:00Just go.
00:15:00Okay.
00:15:01Let me get out first.
00:15:25Let me get out first.
00:15:30Grant, why don't you grab your camera?
00:15:32We should be taping this for posterity.
00:15:35Oh.
00:15:36Uh, yeah.
00:15:37Okay.
00:15:38Uh, well, I guess, like, Berg, what are your plans for this trip?
00:15:46I mean, on paper, to escape the inversion.
00:15:49But if I'm being honest, my true objective is to seize the time to further develop my own proprietary set
00:15:55of theosophical studies.
00:15:58Which, for now, I'm calling Bay's perception.
00:16:01And let me guess, does this research involve the use of controlled substances?
00:16:05I mean, now that you mention it, yeah, I did tap with you holy theosophical tools.
00:16:09I just don't understand why we're not going to the lake.
00:16:12I mean, Vanessa, Frankie, and Mel said it's like spring break up there.
00:16:15That's what they told me.
00:16:16I have said a million times why we are going to the desert.
00:16:20Yeah, but dude!
00:16:21I mean, we could be chilling with, like, the hottest people under 30 in the Salt Lake Valley.
00:16:25Not shit fuck alone in the middle of nowhere with you two fuckos and the one token female.
00:16:30What? I don't even get a name now?
00:16:32Okay, you get two names.
00:16:34Berg's cousin and Grant's ex-girlfriend.
00:16:36Alright, why don't you face-perceive my fist as I shove it up your ass and pull out your piss
00:16:42plumbing.
00:16:44Dude, Grant, your woman just threatened to fist me to death.
00:16:47Sorry, pal. She's not my problem anymore.
00:16:50Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
00:16:52True.
00:16:53Plus, there's some soil samples I need to get up at the arches anyways.
00:16:57Oh.
00:16:59I thought you said no homework.
00:17:00It's not homework.
00:17:03It's for a personal project that I'm working on.
00:17:05Like how my analog shorts thing isn't homework either?
00:17:09Wait, what's he talking about?
00:17:10Grant wants to make the movie.
00:17:12How fun!
00:17:14Wait, is this gonna be like the one where Cody was in the bathtub with all the fake blood?
00:17:17Hopefully not.
00:17:18Otherwise, you'll have this stressed out motherfucker yelling at you for even daring to breathe.
00:17:23You were supposed to be a corpse!
00:17:24And you just kept making will to just repeat her line over and over and over again.
00:17:30Oh my god! Kevin! Why did you do this? Why did you do this? To me!
00:17:38Do you guys remember when Fred almost knocked over the friggin' light?
00:17:41Grant forgot to put the other sandbag on it.
00:17:43It was an LED light. You wouldn't have been electrocuted. Probably.
00:17:47Oh my god! Kevin! Why did you do this? Why did you do this? To me! Kevin!
00:17:57Oh mon dieu, Kevin!
00:18:00Et pourquoi?
00:18:04Come on Grant, don't sulk. I liked that video. It was actually really good.
00:18:08It would have been even better if y'all just listened to me instead of constantly bitching and goofing off.
00:18:13Oh boy.
00:18:15Hey Grant, look at me. Look at me.
00:18:19Hey, trust me. This trip is gonna be fun.
00:18:46Oh my god! What's wrong?
00:18:49Where are we?
00:18:50What do you mean? We just ate. Seriously, are you feeling okay?
00:18:54I'm fine. Sorry, I just...
00:18:58I'm a little dizzy I guess.
00:19:00Oh hey.
00:19:02I mean here, take these. Um, I don't know if that's a good idea.
00:19:05What are they?
00:19:05Oh, don't worry about it, dude. We just gotta get your ore going back to stasis.
00:19:09Maybe I should just take one.
00:19:11Yeah.
00:19:12Because Beverly is such a drug milk soft fat, you'd probably kill him.
00:19:16Stop calling me Beverly.
00:19:17Fern, tell this asshole how fucked up all his gendered name calling shit is.
00:19:20Wait, why is that my job?
00:19:25Grant, don't do-
00:19:26Well, yeah, dude. That is what I'm fucking talking about.
00:19:29Could be a real problem.
00:19:30No, no, no, no. Don't worry about it.
00:19:32I mean, if he starts to freak out, I'll just gag him with one of these choppy boys
00:19:35and make a barfing shit's right.
00:19:36Be careful.
00:19:37You're gonna just grab my eyes out with that thing.
00:19:40Sorry.
00:19:41Come on.
00:19:41It's getting late.
00:19:43We should go.
00:19:51Wait!
00:19:51Wait!
00:19:53Are you having a reason for that?
00:19:58We linger for a breath to remember exactly what this moment looked like.
00:20:04Hold on, grab it.
00:20:06Go.
00:20:07Read it.
00:20:07Okay.
00:20:09The four happy campers pull out of their spot and disappear.
00:20:14Go anyone. Go anyone. Go anyone.
00:20:16Go anyone.
00:20:17Body down.
00:20:19Out of frame.
00:20:36I don't see anyone.
00:20:37Shouldn't there be, like, a sticker or a slip of paper or something?
00:20:41Forget about it. Just go in.
00:20:56Guys, it literally says no camping.
00:21:02Okay, fine. We'll go.
00:21:04That's the sign that says no camping.
00:21:19A 43-year-old school teacher from Pocatello, Idaho, who has now been missing since Thursday evening.
00:21:24Authorities are baffled by...
00:21:26God, this is so creepy.
00:21:28Well, like you said, everybody went to the lake.
00:21:30Yeah, but still, there should be someone else here, right?
00:21:32Well, it doesn't really matter, because we're going off the grid.
00:21:35Back to nature.
00:21:36This is sick.
00:21:37I mean, we can literally do whatever we want out here.
00:21:40Woo!
00:21:41The desert is ours!
00:21:43Don't do it, Kevin.
00:21:44You have so much to live for.
00:21:48Hey, wake up, Grant.
00:22:17Um, why are there only two tents?
00:22:20Oh, I didn't bring one.
00:22:22I was just going to sleep out under the stars and vibe with the fauna like a fucking G-dude!
00:22:27Oh.
00:22:29Oh.
00:22:31Whoops!
00:22:32I think I accidentally brought two sleeping bags and no titch.
00:22:36Great.
00:22:37So what's the plan, then?
00:22:39Well, whatever you two geeks decide, we best get situated before nightfall.
00:22:50I mean, my tent's pretty big, and it's not like we haven't, you know.
00:22:53I don't think that's a good idea.
00:22:56No, yeah.
00:22:56Totally.
00:22:57We agreed we wanted to keep things cool between us.
00:23:00With simple, clear boundaries, right?
00:23:05Totally.
00:23:06Totally.
00:23:08Um, well, you take the tent, then.
00:23:10I'll just, I'll sleep in the back of the truck.
00:23:11Oh, no, I'll take the car.
00:23:12It's cool.
00:23:14Suit yourself.
00:23:16Okay.
00:23:17Um, and I'm totally gonna fill it with queefs and farts.
00:23:22Okay.
00:23:23Great.
00:23:23Perfect.
00:23:25Uh, what's Ferg doing now?
00:23:33Yeah, get the!
00:23:35Must run in the family.
00:23:38It does, actually.
00:23:40It's kind of a serious medical condition that needs more awareness.
00:23:43So, spread the word!
00:24:09What did you see up there?
00:24:11Uh, miles and miles of fuck nothing!
00:24:13Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
00:24:14ha.
00:24:14So, dude, like, what's going on with you and Cody lately?
00:24:18You know, it's, it's a real bummer seeing you guys be such dicks to each other.
00:24:21I don't know what you're talking about.
00:24:22I mean, I don't like this version of you guys.
00:24:24I, you know, I like the version that calls in fucking bomb threats on the Ogden Valley Church Ball League,
00:24:30dude.
00:24:30Oh, yeah, that was, that was just to get some SWAT team B-roll for a class project.
00:24:34Oh, yeah?
00:24:35Got an A on that project, too.
00:24:36See, you guys are legendary.
00:25:01And so it turns out that the woman that we thought was being chased by all these mindless,
00:25:06cell phone zombies is actually just-
00:25:08A child killer whose mind is being erased each day just to torture her?
00:25:12Well, fuck!
00:25:14If you guys knew the whole story, then why'd you let me sit here and go on and on like
00:25:17an asshole?
00:25:18Well, to be fair, I don't know if telling the plot of an old Black Mirror episode really counts as
00:25:22a ghost story.
00:25:22Well, apparently, I am not allowed to talk about what's actually scary, like, oh, I don't know,
00:25:27the fact that we won't have any potable water on the planet by the year 2040.
00:25:32And what about Ferg?
00:25:33All they did was read the Wikipedia article for the Slenderman killings word for word.
00:25:38Uh, you don't think that shit's scary?
00:25:40Mm-mm.
00:25:41Must be nice.
00:25:43Nah, I'm serious.
00:25:44I mean, that's, that's a textbook example of magical thinking IRL.
00:25:47Of pulling a constructed image and making it manifest into our reality life.
00:25:52Please.
00:25:53No.
00:25:53I can't.
00:25:55You're up, Wilda.
00:25:57What?
00:25:57Oh, I don't, I don't know any ghost stories.
00:25:59Come on, you gotta tell us one, even if it's south.
00:26:02Seriously, I don't know any.
00:26:03You should tell them about how you grew up next door to a serial killer.
00:26:07You're such a dick, Grant.
00:26:09What?
00:26:10What?
00:26:10No, I didn't know that.
00:26:11Honestly, it's like the single most interesting thing about you.
00:26:16It's not even like a story, okay?
00:26:18It's just a fact.
00:26:23Okay, so my family lived in Brigham City for a couple years when I was growing up.
00:26:28And the guy who lives in the house next to us, I guess he like killed a couple people.
00:26:35But like not even in the house we lived by.
00:26:38Richard Cruz Debussy.
00:26:40He was legit.
00:26:41Last podcast even did an episode on him.
00:26:43Look it up, Fer.
00:26:46Okay.
00:26:49I got it.
00:26:50Richard Cruz Debussy, a.k.a. The Loop Slayer, was an American serial killer active in Nevada and Western Utah
00:26:59from-
00:26:59Holy shit, dude!
00:27:01I remember this!
00:27:02He escaped from prison, right?
00:27:03Yeah, a week before he was supposed to go in front of the firing squad, too.
00:27:06They never caught him either.
00:27:06You never caught him?
00:27:10He was already really old, though.
00:27:12There's no way he's alive now.
00:27:14What makes you such a fucking expert?
00:27:16It was big news.
00:27:17And my grandpa, he won the Rocky Mountain Pulitzer for reporting on the trial, right before he retired from Channel
00:27:222.
00:27:22Guys, this isn't like fun for me, okay?
00:27:24I can see this guy in my memory.
00:27:27He had these big glasses, weird mustache.
00:27:31I always wore this big green hunting jacket in the middle of winter.
00:27:36He'd wave at us from his mailbox while we were playing outside.
00:27:44It's weird. I don't know. It's like creepy flashbacks from some shitty horror movie.
00:27:49Interesting. What if they are?
00:27:53What?
00:27:54What if they are just bad horror movie flashbacks?
00:27:57I don't know. I don't understand.
00:27:59Okay, like this. Right now. What if we're actually in a horror movie?
00:28:06Four annoying college kids, alone in the desert, just waiting to get picked off one by one.
00:28:11Don't you think it's a little convenient that we're the only ones out here?
00:28:15Grant, don't.
00:28:16You know how tweaked out fur gets with all that Philip K. Dick questioning the nature of reality shit?
00:28:22I mean, this is exactly what I'm talking about. Phase perception.
00:28:26A million different things could show up and kill us at any moment.
00:28:30Like a horde of irradiated zombies.
00:28:33You know, Central Utah is where like 90% of America's toxic waste is stored, right?
00:28:37Jesus fuck, no!
00:28:39Or aliens. I mean, Area 51 is not too far from here.
00:28:43Oh, man.
00:28:45Fucking aliens. You know, those guys fucking love the desert!
00:28:47Guys, can we not?
00:28:49No, Wilda's right. The Four Corners are a legendary UFO hotspot.
00:28:53Why do you think all these satanic biker cults like it around here so much?
00:28:57Ah, satanic biker cults, huh?
00:29:00Why?
00:29:01Jesus Christ, you guys are the biggest group of fucking idiot nerds on the planet.
00:29:05Actually, I'm the stock geek protagonist.
00:29:09You're the alpha jerk bully.
00:29:13Ferg is the stoner comic relief.
00:29:16And Wilda, Wilda is the girl.
00:29:24I am not just the girl.
00:29:26That's exactly what that kind of underwritten female character might say.
00:29:28Hey, I'm not just the girl. That's classic.
00:29:32Let me guess the twist to ending.
00:29:34You go around and cut each of our heads off, huh?
00:29:38No. That would be a hack.
00:29:41What's that dick donut for?
00:29:45This is reflective tape.
00:29:47I'm gonna use it to mark off our campsite before it lights out.
00:29:50Make sure no wild animals enter there.
00:29:51What, are you scared?
00:29:52It's not for our protection. It's for theirs.
00:30:00Let's call it.
00:30:03We've got a big hike tomorrow.
00:30:06Okay.
00:30:09Good night.
00:30:11Good night.
00:30:12Good night.
00:30:13Good night.
00:30:17So we're still just keeping things cool?
00:30:20Yeah.
00:30:22It's simple, clear boundaries.
00:30:51Cut.
00:30:53Nearly almost.
00:31:01Yeast.
00:31:02The perimeter of the wall.
00:31:13No.
00:31:15Wait, you need to go around where the house is?
00:32:25Don't do that.
00:32:27I just thought a little jump scare might wake you up.
00:32:29I know how much you love him.
00:32:31Who else is hungover?
00:32:33The trick is to stay hydrated.
00:32:35I like your pants, Berg.
00:32:36Well, thank you.
00:32:37These are my shark shorts.
00:32:39An unholy sigil to give me shark powers for a hike today.
00:32:42Sick.
00:32:42All right.
00:32:43Who's ready to see this fucking arch?
00:32:45Perfect.
00:32:46Everybody brought hiking boots, I hope.
00:32:49You don't wear those fucking shorts, are you?
00:32:52I know.
00:32:53I know.
00:33:09I know.
00:33:10I know.
00:33:10I know.
00:33:23I know.
00:33:32I know.
00:33:35I know.
00:33:38I know.
00:33:40I know.
00:33:40I know.
00:34:10It's not necessarily part of your character description.
00:34:12Do we seriously have to do this?
00:34:14This is just going to slow us down.
00:34:16You need to chill out, dude, or else we're all going to fucking mutiny.
00:34:21Fine.
00:34:24I can shut you up.
00:34:27Hey, you ever tried mushrooms?
00:34:29No, I don't like mushrooms.
00:34:30Yeah, well, they're not like on a fucking pizza, dude.
00:34:32You're going to start partying, like, now, or else you're going to turn into a fucking
00:34:35pumpkin like you did yesterday.
00:34:38Come on.
00:34:43Fine.
00:34:44Fuck.
00:34:45Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:34:46That's way too many.
00:34:48Dude.
00:34:49Oh, my God.
00:34:50They're like those Harry Potter jelly beans.
00:34:52That tastes like farts and boogers.
00:34:53Come on.
00:34:53Cody's right.
00:34:54We should try to make it to the arch before shit starts to get weird.
00:34:57Said Wilder, graciously offering to lead the way.
00:35:22If you're doing a story of my ass, I'll fucking kill you.
00:35:25Gross.
00:35:25I would never.
00:35:26You know, it's particularly fucked up since you two are blood related.
00:35:29Nah, the incest happening is just a fucking bougie societal construct, dude.
00:35:32No.
00:35:33It exists to help strengthen the genetic diversity of the herd, man.
00:35:36Whatever.
00:35:37Hey, how are you doing back there, Grant?
00:35:39Hey, Ferg, be careful walking backwards.
00:35:41Nah, I'm good.
00:35:41No, be careful, Grant.
00:35:42You're a bastard.
00:35:43There you go.
00:35:45Oh.
00:35:59Oh.
00:36:02Oh, I'm ready, w peanut.
00:36:20Oh, you're a stupid.
00:36:20Oh, that's a great за 하루 of ten,
00:36:23Now, you're pretending to be confused on purpose.
00:36:26My point is, aliens do exist.
00:36:29Why do we always assume that they would want to try and contact us humans?
00:36:32So what are you saying then? That they'd rather toxic computers?
00:36:36Whales?
00:36:36Try fucking coral reefs, dude.
00:36:38If you look at the Earth from outer space, it's like mostly fucking water, dude.
00:36:43You sound like Cody.
00:36:45Hey.
00:36:45And I mean, who's to say that the extraterrestrials wouldn't be aquatic themselves?
00:36:49Like, like Edgret the Guild Navigator, right, Grant?
00:36:54So wait, you think that that means coral?
00:36:57Well, it depends.
00:36:58If our brains are just one big jelly muscle like ours, or if it's spread out.
00:37:04Plus our whole nervous system, isn't it?
00:37:06I think Grant's gonna puke.
00:37:32You know, Fergie is right about one thing.
00:37:35That people's relationship to their environment shapes what they value,
00:37:40and how they interpret the world around them.
00:37:43Guys, should we be worried about Grant? He looks not, uh, great.
00:37:46I read this article about a commencement speech a few years ago, right?
00:37:50And it was about these two adolescent fish, and they're swimming through a river,
00:37:54minding their own business.
00:37:56And, and this, uh, this older fish, he comes up to them and he says,
00:38:02How's the water, boys?
00:38:04And he swims away.
00:38:06And, and these two adolescent fish, they turn, they turn to each other,
00:38:10and they look each other in the eyes and they say,
00:38:14What the hell is water?
00:38:19Grant comes to search for us.
00:38:22Drug to condense.
00:38:24We're trying to sell ours.
00:38:30Did you hear that?
00:38:32It was, it was a woman, she said...
00:38:35Once again, Grant has his back turned, staring off into nothing, with, with, two eyes made up of drooling, drugged
00:38:43mouths.
00:38:44That was it word for word. It was Will there.
00:38:50No, it wasn't me.
00:38:58Yeah, like immersive theater. There was this installation in Spain.
00:39:02It was like a pop-up house party thing, basically.
00:39:07And at first it seems like a normal party.
00:39:10Food, drinks, DJ playing, super fast CDM, lots and lots of people.
00:39:16And you just kind of like hang out in that room for a while.
00:39:19And then you get like kind of pushed into an even, like a slightly smaller room.
00:39:25Where there's less food, not as much to drink.
00:39:27And the music is like slower, more sparse and minimalistic.
00:39:31And you're in the second room for a while.
00:39:32This is an orchid.
00:39:33And then like without even fricking noticing, you're like in an even smaller room.
00:39:39And then...
00:39:40Weird shit.
00:39:41Are those closets?
00:39:53And so suddenly you were in a closet all by yourself, holding a hand mirror with a note written in
00:39:59Sharpie across the glass.
00:40:06What's that mean?
00:40:07I think it means leave through here in Japanese.
00:40:10Or get out of here.
00:40:12I don't know.
00:40:16Before we get back to civilization, I'm gonna need you to delete anything that could end up on some creepy
00:40:21jack off Reddit.
00:40:21Chill out, I'm just playing around with some new filters.
00:40:24Yo, can I see you?
00:40:25Yeah.
00:40:27Did you guys ever see the movie Midnight Special?
00:40:30There's this idea in it of another world built on top of our world.
00:40:34Jesus Christ, my man takes drugs one time and immediately becomes Ferg.
00:40:39Like, it's just sitting there on top of our reality.
00:40:44Another world that our reality wears over itself.
00:40:47Like an invisible ski parka or something.
00:40:52Does that make sense?
00:40:54Come on guys.
00:40:54Can we just get to this goddamn rock already?
00:40:56These mushrooms have added like an hour to this thing.
00:40:58We are.
00:40:59Chill out.
00:41:04Don't call me dude.
00:41:06Watch your step right here.
00:41:08Watch your step right here.
00:41:10Watch your step right here.
00:41:11Watch your step right here.
00:41:12Don't mimic me please.
00:41:14Don't mimic me.
00:41:14I'm not mimicking you.
00:41:15I'm just repeating it.
00:41:29I got it.
00:41:38It's so beautiful out here.
00:41:45We are at the halfway point of Delicate Arch.
00:41:50Yeah, no shit dude.
00:41:51We still gotta climb back down.
00:41:53No.
00:41:54Delicate Arch the movie.
00:42:01This area is considered sacred by this region's indigenous people.
00:42:08The Pueblos, the Hopis, the Utes, the Utes.
00:42:13They thought that these arches were portals to another time and space.
00:42:19They walked a hundred years through them and essentially enter the dream world.
00:42:32They finally come together.
00:42:32Oh, gotta get.
00:42:33Oh, gotta get.
00:42:37Oh, gotta get.
00:42:41Watch out.
00:42:43To lose this?
00:42:54Let's make a choice.
00:42:57I made a choice.
00:42:59We're looking for people.
00:43:10The convergence in time and location of two great migrations.
00:43:39The convergence in time and location of two great migrations are the most important part of the world and the
00:43:51most important part of the world is the most important part of the world and the most important part of
00:44:00the world.
00:44:10I hate that jump scares are so cheap and stupid because I made you shit your pants a sudden
00:44:17burst of noise or motion promoting an involuntary physiological response isn't fear it's just
00:44:22superficial animal instinct keep talking like a nerd I'm gonna beat you up and take your fucking
00:44:27lunch money like a nerd too hey go go grab the others I think I have an idea for a
00:44:39movie
00:45:04so
00:45:09so
00:46:33Okay, and the hand reaches uselessly.
00:46:37It can't get the cigarettes.
00:46:39Continues to reach uselessly.
00:46:41Continues to reach.
00:46:42And cut.
00:46:48Oh, my God.
00:46:50Hey, that was fun.
00:46:51Yeah, that was good.
00:46:54I don't think I get it, though, still.
00:46:56What is it?
00:46:56Like, an addiction metaphor?
00:46:58Maybe.
00:46:59I don't know.
00:47:00It's mostly just the best idea I could think to do with what we have to work with.
00:47:03Well, it's not like you care, but I thought the whole thing was pretty meh.
00:47:06We could have chosen a more dynamic location like the hot springs.
00:47:10No, I didn't write anything like that in this idea.
00:47:12What do you mean?
00:47:13You just came up with this idea, like, five seconds ago.
00:47:16No.
00:47:16If it's not motivated and it's not in the frame, then it doesn't exist.
00:47:25But I guess we could still do Ferg zombie thing instead.
00:47:28Yes!
00:47:28Uh, no.
00:47:29We're not cutting up our foreheads just for your video.
00:47:31Why not?
00:47:32Wrestlers do it all the time.
00:47:33Yeah, I'm down.
00:47:34I'm down.
00:47:36No.
00:47:37No.
00:48:04Hey, we need to talk.
00:48:07Yeah, sure.
00:48:57Grant?
00:48:59Yeah?
00:49:01Uh, we need a favor.
00:49:03What is it?
00:49:04And you were just wondering if we could use your car to go into town for just, like, an hour?
00:49:11What?
00:49:11Why?
00:49:12Turns out this guy from my fluid mech intensive is down here, too.
00:49:15And he just texted me and told me that he's got a bunch of extra Molly, which he can hook
00:49:18us up with if we want to meet.
00:49:19Which we do.
00:49:21I don't know.
00:49:21I was kind of hoping maybe we would just chill out tonight.
00:49:24Me, too.
00:49:25That's exactly what Molly is, Beverly.
00:49:27Chilling out.
00:49:30Okay.
00:49:32Fine.
00:49:32Let's all go.
00:49:33I'll drive.
00:49:36I'm afraid not.
00:49:36Fluid mech is only going to deal with somebody he knows alone.
00:49:42Then why is Wilde going?
00:49:45Because?
00:49:48PGD.
00:49:49PGD.
00:49:51What's that?
00:49:52Pretty girl discount.
00:49:53Cody thinks fluid mech will give us, like, 20% off if we use my toothsome cutie pie smile
00:49:58to vex and beguile his basemail instincts.
00:50:01Ew.
00:50:01No.
00:50:02That's so gross.
00:50:03No way.
00:50:04Please.
00:50:05Pretty pretty queen.
00:50:11Okay, fine.
00:50:12Whatever.
00:50:12Just text me so I know everything goes okay.
00:50:14You got it, man.
00:50:17Thanks.
00:50:19I'm going to go get my wallet.
00:50:20Thanks.
00:50:22Wilde, can I ask you something?
00:50:24Promise you won't get mad?
00:50:27Okay.
00:50:28Yeah, what is it?
00:50:29Well, like, what's going on between you two?
00:50:35You two who?
00:50:36You and Cody.
00:50:38Like, it's okay if you're hooking up.
00:50:40I'm not jealous.
00:50:41It just, it sucks that you'd hide something like that from me.
00:50:43Oh, my God.
00:50:44Grant, can you give me more credit than that?
00:50:46I don't care.
00:50:47I'm not, like, obsessed or anything.
00:50:49It's just, it's kind of immature, is all.
00:50:52Please don't start some weird drama.
00:50:53I'm not.
00:50:54You're the one sneaking around going off on your secret little Molly missions together.
00:50:58We talked about this for hours and hours.
00:51:00We talked.
00:51:01We laid all the ground rules.
00:51:03And I feel like you're doing it again.
00:51:05This fake shit.
00:51:06Trying to act all cool.
00:51:08I mean, come on.
00:51:09Just friends is what we talked about.
00:51:10We are friends.
00:51:11You promised me.
00:51:12I know what I promised.
00:51:13I know that I did.
00:51:14You were the one who wanted to break up with me.
00:51:15Remember?
00:51:16Well, what the fuck?
00:51:18Wilde, we both decided.
00:51:19No.
00:51:20No, I'm not going to argue with the crazy person.
00:51:22Okay, stop.
00:51:22Okay, look.
00:51:23I'm the one that finally brought it up, but you were totally checked out of the relationship
00:51:28for months.
00:51:29That is not what I'm talking about.
00:51:30I'm talking about the creeping around.
00:51:32The following me.
00:51:34The watching me.
00:51:34I'm sorry.
00:51:35I just want to know what's up with you.
00:51:38That you're okay.
00:51:39You're my fucking friend.
00:51:41You know?
00:51:42Cody, too.
00:51:55Whatever.
00:51:57Enjoy the truck.
00:52:01Fuck you.
00:52:15You okay, dude?
00:52:23I'm fine.
00:52:27That shit, man.
00:52:29I mean, this is rough, Nick.
00:52:31You know, this Dusty boy is our last brew dog.
00:52:33Hey, when are Cody and Wilde coming back with the re-up?
00:52:37I don't know.
00:52:40How long ago did they leave?
00:52:47Fuck.
00:52:49My battery's dead.
00:52:50You got a remote charger or something?
00:52:51Yeah, and the truck.
00:52:54My phone, too.
00:52:56Oh, so what?
00:52:57We're phone-less?
00:52:58Fucking phone-less bitches, dude?
00:53:00Why aren't they back yet?
00:53:02Like, should we be worried?
00:53:06What, you think it was the zombies?
00:53:08Shut up.
00:53:11Hey, maybe it was the aliens.
00:53:13Or fuck, the apocalypse bikers, dude.
00:53:15Knock it off.
00:53:16Hey, like you said, we're near Skinwalker, right?
00:53:17Stop.
00:53:18Just be quiet.
00:53:20Or maybe.
00:53:22What if we unlock something at the arch?
00:53:25You know, Cody said it was a portal.
00:53:27Shut up.
00:53:27Just shut the fuck up.
00:53:32I'm sorry.
00:53:33I just...
00:53:36I want to know what's up with them.
00:53:38Like, what's taking them so goddamn long?
00:53:40We should try and calm down, okay?
00:53:44Got any ghost stories?
00:53:51No.
00:53:53I'm not really in the mood.
00:54:23I'm not really in the mood.
00:54:37I'm not really in the mood.
00:54:38I don't know what's up here.
00:54:54I just advise you toen the spaceships.
00:55:01Ferd!
00:55:07Ferd!
00:55:09Ferd! Wait!
00:55:14Ferd!
00:55:37Ferd!
00:55:39Wait!
00:55:47Ferd!
00:55:49Ferd!
00:56:02Ferd!
00:56:04Ferd!
00:56:08Ferd!
00:56:28Ferd!
00:56:30Ferd!
00:56:31Ferd!
00:56:32Ferd!
00:56:34Ferd!
00:56:35Ferd!
00:56:45Ferd!
00:56:46Ferd!
00:56:50Ferd!
00:56:52Ferd!
00:56:55Ferd!
00:57:01Oh, my God.
00:57:40What the hell are you doing?
00:57:42I'm here.
00:57:43Stop shaking me.
00:57:44I'm here.
00:57:46What were you doing in my tent?
00:57:50Were you trying to take my camera?
00:57:51No, you weren't here.
00:57:52You were not here.
00:57:54I think I...
00:57:55I passed out.
00:57:57There was, like, a fucking city out there.
00:58:00What did you slip me last night?
00:58:02I told you nothing.
00:58:03Now, I need to know.
00:58:04Why weren't you in your tent last night?
00:58:08Because I was looking for you.
00:58:10You fucking moron drug addict.
00:58:12Your brains are so fucked,
00:58:14you were sleepwalking around like a fucking asshole.
00:58:22There's no more water?
00:58:23Yeah, we're out of everything.
00:58:25Cody and Wilder are still gone?
00:58:26Yeah, and they have all our keys and our phones and all our shit, too.
00:58:29Okay.
00:58:33Hey, we need to calm down, okay?
00:58:35I'm sure they'll be back soon.
00:58:36They have to be.
00:58:44You said I was sleepwalking?
00:58:49Yeah.
00:58:58What the hell are you doing?
00:58:59I'm going to look for Cody and Wilder.
00:59:00Fern, no.
00:59:02There's no more water.
00:59:03It's too far,
00:59:04and it's supposed to get really, really hot today.
00:59:06You were right about this being a fucking horror movie, dude.
00:59:09Don't be stupid.
00:59:10I was just fucking around.
00:59:12No, you weren't just fucking around!
00:59:15You weren't.
00:59:17I knew you felt it,
00:59:18but now I feel it, too, dude.
00:59:20And Cody and Wilder?
00:59:20I mean, what?
00:59:21They're just, like, sitting ducks out there?
00:59:23Are you fucking for real?
00:59:24Exactly!
00:59:26Am I fucking for real?
00:59:30I don't know.
00:59:34Or, you know,
00:59:35maybe,
00:59:37hey, maybe my existence
00:59:38started when you guys
00:59:39pulled up in a car
00:59:40right out from my house.
00:59:43Or...
00:59:45Or whoever's house that was.
00:59:47You know,
00:59:48that the film crew rented
00:59:49to use as a location
00:59:50for the movie that we're in.
00:59:51Okay, you were on too many fucking drugs.
00:59:53Oh, I'm not.
00:59:53Cut it out with the metaphysical bullshit.
00:59:55Okay?
00:59:57Look.
00:59:59Don't go.
01:00:00Okay?
01:00:02What am I going to do here by myself?
01:00:04I don't know.
01:00:05I don't know.
01:00:05I just know that I need to leave,
01:00:07like, right now.
01:00:07Kurt, please.
01:00:09I have a really bad feeling about this.
01:00:11No, get out of my way!
01:00:13So we're in a horror movie!
01:00:14So what?
01:00:15What do you think happens
01:00:16to the main characters
01:00:18when they all start going off
01:00:19one by one?
01:00:21We need to stick together.
01:00:22Fuck you, dude!
01:00:23And let me out!
01:00:24Look, I just need to leave.
01:00:29Okay.
01:00:31I have to stay.
01:00:34Why?
01:00:35Why?
01:00:36Why?
01:00:36Come with me, please.
01:00:38I can't.
01:00:41Fuck!
01:00:43Okay.
01:00:44Then I'll just see you later, huh?
01:00:46I'll just see you later.
01:00:50You're making a huge mistake!
01:00:51Wait!
01:00:57Oh.
01:01:00Oh.
01:01:07Oh.
01:01:17Oh.
01:01:29Oh, my God.
01:02:03Oh, my God.
01:02:33Oh, my God.
01:02:54Oh, my God.
01:03:26Oh, my God.
01:03:35Oh, my God.
01:03:35Oh, my God.
01:03:36Oh, my God.
01:03:46Oh, my God.
01:04:07Oh, my God.
01:04:29Oh, my God.
01:04:41Oh, my God.
01:05:11Oh, my God.
01:05:34Oh, my God.
01:05:44Oh, my God.
01:05:50Oh, my God.
01:05:53Oh, my God.
01:05:54Oh, my God.
01:05:58Oh, my God.
01:06:16Oh, my God.
01:06:18Oh, my God.
01:07:15Oh, my God.
01:07:43Oh, my God.
01:07:51Oh, my God.
01:07:58Oh, my God.
01:08:14Oh, my God.
01:08:18Oh, my God.
01:08:20Oh, my God.
01:08:29Oh, my God.
01:09:07Oh, my God.
01:09:42Oh, my God.
01:09:43Oh, my God.
01:10:10Oh, my God.
01:10:36Oh, my God.
01:11:26Oh, my God.
01:11:46Oh, my God.
01:11:52Oh, my God.
01:11:58Oh, my God.
01:12:01Oh, my God.
01:12:03Oh, my God.
01:12:33Oh, my God.
01:12:51Oh, my God.
01:13:00Oh, my God.
01:13:01Oh, my God.
01:13:13Oh, my God.
01:13:17Oh, my God.
01:13:18Oh, my God.
01:13:26Oh, my God.
01:13:38Dude, dude.
01:13:40Oh, my God.
01:13:45Oh, my God.
01:13:57Oh, my God.
01:14:22Oh, my God.
01:14:51Oh, my God.
01:15:02Oh, my God.
01:15:29Oh, my God.
01:15:30Oh, my God.
01:15:30Oh, my God.
01:15:30Oh, my God.
01:15:51Oh, my God.
01:16:21Oh, my God.
01:16:58Oh, my God.
01:17:00Oh, my God.
01:17:42Oh, my God.
01:17:44Oh, my God.
01:17:46Oh, my God.
01:17:51Oh, my God.
01:18:25Oh, my God.
01:18:27Oh, my God.
01:18:27Oh, my God.
01:18:28Oh, my God.
01:18:33Uh, that's me.
01:18:34Okay, dude, um, give will to my love, and, and yeah, I gotta go.
01:18:47Hey.
01:18:49Uh, how is he?
01:18:55This is where he needs to be, yeah?
01:18:59I can help him here.
01:19:00It's over.
01:19:04Yeah, no, I, I understand.
01:19:07Um, it's been a lot.
01:19:10No, that's not what I mean.
01:19:28No, I can't.
01:19:42No, I can't.
01:19:46No, I can't.
01:19:52Oops.
01:19:57I can't wait.
01:19:58Is anyone still there?
01:20:04Hello?
01:20:39I'm sorry.
01:21:01so
01:21:36oh
01:22:07oh
01:22:34oh
01:22:38oh
01:22:40oh
01:22:40oh
01:22:41oh
01:23:03oh
01:23:07oh
01:23:09oh
01:23:09oh
01:23:09oh
01:23:10oh
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