- 6 weeks ago
2026.S02E01
Category
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TVTranscript
00:04I'm nervous I'm gonna take it one step at a time I'm absolutely petrified 12 virgins are
00:12traveling to a unique island retreat that could change their lives forever this has made me the
00:19strangest day of my life being a virgin at the age of 22 feels very lonely I've just sort of
00:25given up all hope in a world saturated with sex more young adults than ever are caught in an
00:33intimacy epidemic the thought of having sex with someone scares me it gives me the ick I don't feel
00:39confident I'm missing out terrified of the thought of it nerve-wracking gut-wrenching
00:44embarrassing all I think about is what I'm gonna get wrong can you point to the outer labia nope now
00:56they're getting a crash course in intimacy social media porn dating apps there are so
01:03many negative messages and we can help them blossom use it by stimulating the area guided
01:09by a team of experts you see yourself as proposal they'll confront their insecurities I'm hiding
01:16how upset actually feel exploring intimacy in every form and maybe have sex with a trained therapist
01:31desperate times call for desperate measures or even one another why are you nervous around me I don't
01:38know it's so good I really do need to change my life the question is get a room guys who
01:47will
01:47finally be ready just like get a bit anxious to go all the way touching the hoop girl on virgin
01:55island
02:04it is such a beautiful day to shop on the island perfect for the next three weeks
02:10hi hi this groundbreaking retreat will be home to 12 young people would you like a hug yeah go on
02:19then
02:20from all over the UK who need help well I didn't fall in the sea so I've done better than
02:28I thought
02:29I was gonna do I've never kissed anyone I've never dated anyone I've never had sex with anyone I am
02:35a
02:35grade A virgin my life just can't go on like this I just need to take your phone yes of
02:41course the
02:42retreats rules include a full break from the pressures of technology so you can just like
02:47dive in yeah yeah you see sex everywhere sex sells is the old cliche be it from social media porn
02:55but
02:56always playing on my mind is that I can't get an erection being a virgin at the age of 28
03:01I feel
03:02almost a failure in many ways the group will live on the island for three weeks oh this is your
03:11recommendation totally cut off from the distractions of modern life go ahead and get settled okay there's
03:18clothes there thank you including the pressures of their appearance oh wow they're giving off jungle
03:25vibes I've always hated my body and I've got badly bullied over it in the past I'm terrified to be
03:32naked in front of someone it does make me cry when I think about it yeah it makes me really
03:38upset
03:46before the course begins the group of a chance to get to know each other at the hangout
03:50hello I'm Katie hi nice to meet you where are you from uh Blackpool from Peterborough Peterborough yeah
04:04I literally don't do anything other than sit on my computer 24 7. I'm definitely addicted to gaming
04:13I don't really interact with any girls makes me feel alone where are you from oh sorry born in the
04:22UK
04:22but raised in South Africa but live in the UK I instantly don't trust men Alex nice to meet you
04:30it makes me a bit sad and I don't really know what to do about it to be honest so
04:37how old are you
04:38I'm 28 you're 28 I'm 23 I'm 22 26 I'm quite robotic with with women I've had no girlfriends
04:47they're just a bit sad isn't it we've got another person hi with sexual intimacy I feel a little bit
04:57broken I can't have sex I have a condition called vaginismus if somebody tried to touch my vagina it
05:04would be pain and it would be discomfort and I'm living life in fear the way that you're seen as
05:11a
05:11woman who can't physically have sex is like what's the point one of the reasons that people are not
05:19having sex is there's just a lot more self-consciousness everybody's being watched all the time you know by
05:25their parents by social media by their friends hello so we're seeing a lot more people just not getting out
05:31there and connecting there's lots of fear around being cancelled and they're terrified of failing
05:37but we got amazing results last time and I have really high hopes for this new group of virgins hi
05:44everyone
05:45I'm Ellen how old are you 35 wow only just I don't want to get to 40 and still be
05:58the virgin the expectation of your marriage you've got kids and at 35 I haven't got those things I feel
06:06like a freak really and like I've you know let let people down
06:13yeah so is there anyone else in the LGBT Q plus community obviously yeah you come look at me the
06:20only gay on the island trust me or not I grew up in a very traditional town there wasn't a
06:26lot of open
06:27queer people when I knew I was bi I didn't tell my parents I was actually quite scared I identify
06:33as
06:34bisexual but I'm quite a late bloom at school it was a discussion about masturbation I thought it
06:42was a game show I thought it was mastermind hey hello hello my name's Ed oh what's he gonna know
06:49first
06:50what's your star sign I feel like an outsider a lot of the time the big part of that is
07:00my disability I
07:01was born that a right pectoral restricted movement in my wrist and my arm it has impacted the way I
07:08am I
07:08wouldn't have the confidence to talk to girls I find it really hard hey you're the last one oh my
07:17name's Will I've just turned 30 I'm a virgin being a virgin it's not something I'm proud of something I
07:24experienced when I was younger is premature ejaculation fear that may still be an issue now so I think when
07:30I
07:30have sex for the first time it's gonna be really quick the idea of like having sex is like crazy
07:37it's a far away dream for me yeah yeah I've never had a girlfriend ever same yeah one of the
07:43nicknames
07:44I have is posh Bertie I'm a very well-spoken individual I've not told anyone that I'm a virgin but
07:52I think
07:52people would guess yeah he's a virgin to me definitely feel one step behind everyone yeah
08:02the group knows the weeks ahead won't be easy but they have a determination to change the lives
08:09breathe into your own body this unique course has been created by pioneering sex therapists Celeste and
08:18Danielle and let it out the ethos at the retreat is very supportive there's so much for them to learn
08:27we have new exercises new experts and some special surprises supported by a team of sex therapists from
08:38across the globe trained in a range of touch base therapies which finger would you like to enter me
08:45with they'll address the group's anxieties she is terrified of lowering the mask and push them to their
08:53limits hidden away on the island a dedicated therapy spaces and private bedrooms where they'll begin to
09:04explore intimacy I'm hoping that everybody gets to find out who they are as a sexual being regardless of
09:11being a virgin but it is going to be a huge challenge each phase of the course will challenge the
09:19group like
09:19never before as they take their first steps towards sexual connection
09:39and it all starts here oh my god I'm so nervous yeah oh welcome by confronting one of the biggest
09:49barriers to intimacy
09:54shame
09:57welcome to virgin island we're so excited to have you here
10:02this phase is all about shame shame really interrupts pleasure and so we are shame warriors
10:12we want to wipe away the shame that gets in your way if I could shake off the shame of
10:19being a virgin
10:20I'd feel a lot happier in myself I feel judged and it's not something that I talk about really
10:31first Celeste and Danielle will perform an intimate demonstration designed to reveal the group's level
10:37of awkwardness and shame
10:38so this demo is called pillow talk oh my god oh my gosh I'm starting to feel a bit sick
10:47yeah terrified
10:48we want to find out who is comfortable watching intimacy and the different kinds of talk and touch that
10:54come with romance that come with passion that come with erotic energy
10:59hmm oh my god your eyes are so beautiful and sexy and the way you hold yourself turns me on
11:10so much I think I'm gonna have to smell you
11:14hmm
11:20I feel so lucky
11:23hmm
11:24to be able to touch you
11:41Any feelings watching it?
11:47It's weird having to watch it with other people.
11:49It's a bit...
11:50Yeah, I think I just feel like a little bit guilty.
11:52I think, like, the idea of watching this and then being asked to, like, do that.
11:58That's, like, sinful.
12:03Growing up as a Christian, you kind of feel you should be one way,
12:07which is usually a very good way.
12:09I have to be kind, I have to be soft.
12:13But I have a sexual side to myself.
12:15It kind of brings on these feelings of shame and fear
12:19because you feel you're doing something sinful
12:21for wanting to experience pleasure.
12:23And I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel right now.
12:28We all have ideas and judgment and what we think we should be.
12:33And all those interventions frees us up.
12:36The best way to work your way out of shame
12:39is to start to get a different reaction to shame.
12:45To help the group do that...
12:47You are going to get your scratch on.
12:50No, I ain't doing that.
12:53Celeste and Danielle start with a series...
12:55I am folding my arms.
12:58This is just so awkward.
13:00..of deliberately uncomfortable exercises.
13:03Now, I'm going to be choo-choo trained.
13:10I see myself as very socially awkward
13:14and sometimes weird.
13:18Shake it, shake it, shake it.
13:19I was diagnosed with autism.
13:21I get nervous, I get stressed.
13:24My eye contact goes all over the place.
13:27Being a virgin, you just feel very isolated
13:29and you feel very ashamed of yourself.
13:34After the warm-up, Celeste and Danielle raise the stakes
13:37with a more challenging physical exercise.
13:41So I want a brave volunteer.
13:44Somatic therapy is not just focusing on the brain.
13:47It's helping people in a more physical, experiential way.
13:51I'll do it.
13:52Go on, Alex.
13:53Go on, Alex.
13:54For 28-year-old graduate Alex,
13:57going first is a chance to face his fears.
14:01Anxiety has played a massive part in my life.
14:03Going to private school,
14:04I put myself under a lot of pressure
14:05that if I didn't perform my best,
14:08I'd feel I'd let people down
14:09and never really knew how bad it was
14:11until I tried to have sex
14:13and was too nervous to do it.
14:14Anything less than perfect is not good enough for me.
14:17So I'm going to start by touching you for my pleasure
14:20and then you're going to touch me for your pleasure.
14:24I'm starting by connecting with myself
14:26and feeling my body.
14:49Want to try?
14:51Yeah, sure.
15:07Is that okay?
15:08Really feeling it in your body,
15:10that's what we're going for.
15:13After Alex's attempt,
15:14others step up to give it a try.
15:19You might do it a bit harder.
15:21Harder?
15:26While some get to grips with the exercise.
15:30How's that feel?
15:31It feels nice.
15:32Yeah.
15:33Others can't even bear to watch.
15:45Are you okay?
15:54Are you okay?
15:57Are you okay?
16:08Anyone else?
16:09Anyone else want to give it a try?
16:13Counting one.
16:16Counting two.
16:18Counting three.
16:23Oh my god.
16:24Oh my god.
16:25Personally, that was a little bit creepy.
16:28I need to be able to be confident in myself
16:30to do the whole touching exercise.
16:31I believe the cool kids call it riz.
16:34I need to have good riz.
16:36At the start,
16:37like when they was doing all the...
16:40All that, yeah.
16:41I thought we'd have to do that to each other.
16:42I was genuinely...
16:43I was pissed.
16:43I was like, no, not today.
16:45That's intense for our first workshop.
16:47To throw yourself in as much as possible
16:49to experience all these cringe things
16:50and embarrassing things was a struggle.
16:52Joy, if you don't mind me asking,
16:54why was it so hard for you?
16:56The whole touching thing.
16:57Why did you get a bit of a reaction to it?
17:01You not want to talk?
17:03Yeah, not really.
17:03No worries.
17:05That workshop was such an emotionally intense experience.
17:08To come on the island day one
17:10and be expected to have some kind of erotic energy
17:13is a really hard thing for me.
17:15I didn't realise how uncomfortable that might make me feel.
17:19Next time, I would walk out.
17:32So beautiful.
17:33Yeah, it is, isn't it?
17:34Oh!
17:35Come here, come here, Lizzie!
17:37Oh, my God!
17:38I've never seen Eliza before.
17:40Eww!
17:41I don't like it.
17:42Come out at night and nibble you.
17:44I might have to tuck my trousers into my socks
17:46in case it crawls up my leg.
17:48No, and he's gone.
17:51It's halfway through day one on Virgin Island.
17:54I don't want to name exact figures,
17:56but I think it was like one in eight people
17:57were virgins at 25.
17:58So in a room this big,
17:59it's like one and a bit people.
18:01Well, I think in this room, it'd be all 12.
18:03Yeah, on an island, on a virgin island.
18:06Yeah, on an island, on a virgin island.
18:09Every day, the experts gather to evaluate progress
18:12and work out which therapies will be most effective.
18:16It's very interesting to see how they reacted to different exercises.
18:20Oh, they've got a one-on-one session here, guys.
18:23Oh, my God.
18:25Afternoons are dedicated to individual therapy sessions
18:28for those working through specific intimacy issues.
18:32I don't know if I feel more calm or more stressed.
18:35Yeah.
18:37Everybody has this fear, like,
18:39oh, my God, it's going to be so scary or uncomfortable,
18:41but you have to completely rewire your brain
18:44in order for change to really happen.
18:47Hi there.
18:47Hi.
18:49How do you feel?
18:51Kind of on edge, I guess.
18:52Mm-hmm.
18:53The more you can be honest and drop into your truth
18:56without too much humor...
18:57Yeah, I can't promise you that.
18:58...that is going to allow us to go somewhere.
19:00Oh, I don't like this.
19:02I don't like crying.
19:03I feel like I just can't relax.
19:05I'm still really scared, and I'm not sure why.
19:10Out of all the reactions from this morning,
19:13the experts were most struck by our joys.
19:16When Will and Marianne were touching,
19:19I could see her, some tears came out.
19:23She really struggled with that.
19:28Some came up for you today in the workshop.
19:30Well, I feel like I have this weight on my shoulders
19:33of, like, I'm a Christian.
19:34You have to be good.
19:35Yeah.
19:35And experiencing sexual pleasure for, like, for fun.
19:38Mm-hmm.
19:39How is that good?
19:40Yeah.
19:42But it isn't just feelings of religious shame
19:44that are holding joy back.
19:45I know I have a sexual side to me.
19:48Mm-hmm.
19:48But I have vaginismus.
19:51Vaginismus is a condition related to your pelvic floor
19:55and also has a psychological fear component
19:58around the idea of insertion or entry.
20:01The moment I realised that I had vaginismus,
20:03it was like this whole idea of a sector of my life
20:06that could be just closed up.
20:09I can't wear a tampon.
20:10I can't do a pap smear.
20:11And I definitely can't have sex.
20:13It's just, it's so hard.
20:16At one point, like, I literally thought
20:18that God cursed me with vaginismus.
20:20I thought he, like, I thought he did it to me
20:22to stop me from having sex.
20:24And I feel like it's hard to, like, undo that feeling.
20:30Maybe that first piece is about pleasure being good.
20:39I'm really tight.
20:40I'm really, like, anxious.
20:42I feel like I'm like, no, it's not.
20:43No, it's not.
20:44No, it's not.
20:45And that clench happens probably all the way into your vagina.
20:50So I want you to feel all of the tightness and the clenchedness.
20:54And then you can feel the contrast.
20:57Let's feel the clench.
20:58And then, ah.
21:08Like a little shakiness happened in your, did you feel it?
21:12Yeah.
21:13You know what that is?
21:14What?
21:14It's like a little tiny release of trauma.
21:17Oh, wow.
21:18From all the holding.
21:21You deserve to have that circuit of pleasure.
21:29Shame gets in the way of sexual intimacy.
21:33And you cannot get to the other side of shame until you expose it.
21:37I feel a bit, like, in shock.
21:39It was quite intense.
21:41I just hadn't even realised all the tension I'd been holding in my body.
21:44It just made me realise, like, how much I need this experience.
21:51For a gold star lesbian, my mind's constantly in the gutter.
21:55What's a gold star lesbian?
21:56A gold star lesbian is someone who has never had sex with a man.
21:59Ah, OK.
22:00The thought of a penis going near me scares me in a way that's like, ew, get away.
22:04Nothing to do with you guys.
22:06No, no, it's cool.
22:06I get that.
22:07I'm like, anything below their tummy, I'm like, no.
22:10I mean, you probably all have amazing penises, I'm not saying that.
22:14Oh, my gosh.
22:15It doesn't matter if it comes so quick, don't matter.
22:22As the group starts to bond...
22:24Oh, this is really, like, giving hippie vibes, isn't it?
22:28Celeste and Danielle aim to push them further in the next exercise...
22:31Hello!
22:32Hello!
22:33..to help release their shame once and for all.
22:38All right, well, as we said, this part of the course is all about shame.
22:42What we want you to do is write in your notebooks
22:45all the negative things people say about you
22:48and all the self-critical thoughts you keep repeating to yourself.
22:52We really need to get them out
22:54so that we can take the power away from them.
23:00Be careful.
23:02The group have been sent off in pairs to share their shame words.
23:06It's difficult.
23:07Yeah, I'm not exactly an open book.
23:10People see me as fat, ugly.
23:13And as they identify their insecurities...
23:16I don't like how I'm not at all that good socially.
23:21It's why I've never been on a date before, really.
23:24Yeah.
23:25..their barriers come down.
23:27Ugly, unattractive to girls.
23:31Have been able to get a date in years.
23:33My anxiety, particularly around intimacy and interacting with women.
23:38I worry that I'm just not good enough.
23:44But 23-year-old Katie...
23:46Bad things people are saying about me.
23:48..is right in more than most.
23:51I was once labelled the ugliest girl in school.
23:54Oh, my God.
23:54Um, a whale, fat slash obese, ugly, a liar, monster disappointment.
24:02And frigid, because I've never gone with anyone before.
24:06Yeah.
24:08OK.
24:10I know how it feels to have something horrible said to me.
24:13Sometimes I look in the mirror to make myself upset,
24:17because I need a good cry, and it works.
24:20I don't think there's ever been a time
24:22where I truly have felt good in my looks.
24:27Ever.
24:28No.
24:29Are those things people have actually said about you?
24:32To my face or online, where I've seen?
24:34Online?
24:35Yeah.
24:35People that I know in person.
24:37Oh, my God.
24:38In my life.
24:38Yeah.
24:39I've commented publicly.
24:42Oh, my God.
24:43I'm so sorry.
24:53Figuring out the words, though, is only half the exercise.
24:57How did you find that...?
24:59It's quite challenging.
25:01I was going to say the same.
25:02Yeah.
25:02It was quite hard.
25:03So, Joy, this one's for you.
25:06Now the experts want them to write their words down
25:08on a T-shirt to confront and let go of their self-doubt.
25:12I'm going to invite you to narrow down
25:15from all the things that you've written,
25:17which ones hold the most emotion,
25:20so that you can create a T-shirt that's a symbol of all of that.
25:24Mm-hm.
25:27I'm scared that I'm going to get upset.
25:29Thinking back about all the memories and stuff from school
25:32and all the bad things that I got told
25:35and I say to myself,
25:37it's quite difficult.
25:40But I really do want to be able to get as much out of this as I can.
25:46It's scary, though.
26:03Good morning.
26:04Good morning.
26:05Good morning.
26:06Hey, you guys, how are we going?
26:07Morning.
26:09Oh, we've got raisins.
26:11Don't tell me you're eating a lemon.
26:12I like lemon.
26:15It's the morning on Virgin Island.
26:19I'm really nervous for today.
26:20And the sessions are set to become even more revealing.
26:24As we go through this phase,
26:26I do feel quite a big shame over myself.
26:29So I'm a little bit apprehensive.
26:32I was so nervous at first workshop.
26:33My heart was going.
26:34I didn't realise how nervous I was.
26:36Sex and intimacy are meant to be natural
26:38and experienced by lots of people and enjoyed,
26:40whereas me, I sort of feel scared of them.
26:42Let's go.
26:44I have no idea how far I'm going to go
26:46with this.
26:47You know, it's only going to get more intense from here.
26:53Having faced many hard truths...
26:55Hello!
26:57..Celeste and Danielle's next exercise
26:59will challenge the group even further.
27:02Oh, dear, was this bad?
27:04Oh, God.
27:05With some exposure therapy,
27:09Virgin Island style.
27:10Society gives these negative messages to us
27:13about what it means to be a sexual being.
27:15So it's really important
27:17to get comfortable with intimacy.
27:21Today, you're going to be exploring erotic life drawing.
27:26Oh, dear.
27:27You're going to invite our lovely models.
27:30There they are.
27:31Here they are.
27:33The only time that I've seen vagina or boobs
27:36is off, like, Sticky Vicky when I went to Benidorm.
27:39That is probably the only time
27:40that I've ever really seen it in real life.
27:43I've seen some images online,
27:45and I'm like,
27:47ooh, actually, penises are a bit ugly.
27:50I know the different parts
27:51and the names of the female anatomy,
27:54but do you know,
27:55I genuinely don't think
27:57I've seen one in person.
27:59I'm the most white meat virgin
28:01you could possibly meet.
28:04Don't hide.
28:05Keep your eyes open
28:06and be curious.
28:24Oh, my God.
28:25So many naked parts right now.
28:28So I don't want you to worry
28:29about showing off your artistic talent.
28:31It's really about looking at a naked body
28:34and letting yourself feel
28:35the sensuality of that.
28:37Oh, my gosh.
28:38Oh, my gosh.
28:40Just roll.
28:44It's going to be hard to start this.
28:46Neither do I.
28:46Oh, we got this.
28:48We're expecting to see
28:50some discomfort,
28:52embarrassment,
28:53to be exposed to naked bodies.
28:56We can really see the comfort level.
29:00Stop making me laugh, Jason.
29:04Embarrassing.
29:08I can't tell you what's more.
29:12All I can see is vaginas and boobs.
29:17Whilst the sight of naked bodies
29:19has everyone giggling awkwardly...
29:21I really feel uncomfortable.
29:24..Ellen is struggling the most.
29:26BIRDS
29:30Growing up,
29:31my parents would never talk about sex.
29:34And at the time,
29:35there wasn't the internet
29:36as there is now.
29:37I'm in my 30s.
29:39I am gay.
29:40And I've not had a relationship
29:42and I've not had experience
29:44around sexual intimacy.
29:46Sex, it's something that
29:48I feel anxious about.
29:51LAUGHTER
29:53Don't want to do it.
29:55No-one is seeing mine
29:57because it is absolutely terrible.
29:59You don't have to show me
30:00if you don't want to.
30:01One second sneak peek.
30:02Done.
30:04Can I have a two second sneak peek?
30:06So we really want to thank
30:08our beautiful models here.
30:10APPLAUSE
30:13Any thoughts that you want to share?
30:19I was instantly like,
30:20oh my gosh, oh my gosh,
30:22I shouldn't be watching this.
30:22I felt the discomfort of that.
30:25Yeah.
30:29MUSIC PLAYS
30:30It felt like you were literally watching
30:31like a group porno.
30:33I was like, oh, I want to look,
30:34but I was like, oh,
30:34it feels wrong to look.
30:36Yeah!
30:36Nudity felt a bit too soon for me.
30:40Despite being the oldest of the group...
30:43When you kiss someone,
30:44do you do it with your eyes open
30:45or your eyes closed?
30:47Please don't be that person.
30:49LAUGHTER
30:50Ellen's lack of experience
30:51is clear to everyone.
30:55She was having a hard time
30:56to look at you.
30:57Yeah.
30:58I'm excited to have a session with her
31:00to introduce her
31:01to the first steps of intimacy.
31:04With a storm approaching,
31:07Ellen's feeling a little blustered.
31:09Hello.
31:10It's windy.
31:16Ellen.
31:18You have a sexy smile.
31:20Oh, OK.
31:23Louie had a tiny, tiny little exchange
31:26of erotic energy.
31:27Yeah.
31:28Yeah, OK.
31:28Did you feel it?
31:30Um...
31:32No, but I guess I don't know
31:34what that feeling is
31:35because I've not experienced it before.
31:37Yeah.
31:44You know what I love?
31:47Awkward silences
31:47where you just look at each other.
31:49OK, yeah.
31:56A lot of times,
31:57that's what happens
31:58right before a kiss.
32:00Yeah.
32:03But I don't...
32:04I don't want that to happen.
32:06No, we're not doing that today.
32:07We're just talking
32:08in a flirtatious way.
32:12What do you think?
32:13Um, I'm thinking I'm fine
32:15as long as you're on that chair
32:16and I'm on this chair.
32:17I'm staying over here.
32:18Don't worry.
32:25Bye.
32:28How was that, Ellen?
32:30Um...
32:30In my head, I was like,
32:31OK, I'm going to jump in
32:32and then when I got in there,
32:33I was like,
32:34all of a sudden,
32:35just like my body closed up.
32:38I don't like the idea
32:40of someone coming
32:41into my personal space.
32:43That's why I'm here.
32:44Like, I've never been
32:45very good at it.
32:47And I feel like a failure.
32:56Oh!
32:58So, are you into females, then?
33:00Or both?
33:00I am a straight,
33:03heterosexual male.
33:04Nice.
33:04You are...
33:05You're bisexual, aren't you?
33:06Yeah, yeah.
33:08Do you know what?
33:09It was so weird.
33:10I had a dream last night
33:11of you guys.
33:11Mainly Alex.
33:12Weird.
33:14I can't wait to tell Alex that.
33:17Hello.
33:18Did you know Katie
33:19dreamt about you last night?
33:21No, that's not weird.
33:23So, what happened
33:23in the dream, Kate?
33:25She doesn't really know.
33:26I don't remember at all.
33:29Though Katie was dreaming
33:30of Alex,
33:32for him,
33:32yesterday's workshop
33:33was a nightmare.
33:34I demoed
33:36with him
33:37yesterday.
33:38I felt he was
33:39really frozen.
33:41He can be a little
33:42in his head.
33:43So, I'm curious
33:44if we're going through
33:45exercises,
33:46if he's just going
33:47to perform them
33:48rather than, like,
33:49actually experiencing
33:50sensation
33:51and emotions.
33:53Yeah.
33:54What did it feel like
33:55when you, like,
33:55touched him?
33:56Panicky.
33:57I don't know
33:58how calm it looked
33:59or how I looked,
34:00but, yeah,
34:01my heart was going.
34:02I was shaking a bit.
34:06So, Danielle's
34:07decided to dig deeper.
34:08Hello.
34:09Come on in.
34:10Into what's
34:10holding him back.
34:12I feel your heart
34:13beating all the way
34:14to here.
34:16Sex for me
34:17has always been
34:18quite a nervous thing.
34:19I've always had anxiety.
34:20I've always had
34:20performance anxiety,
34:22sports,
34:22homework, whatever.
34:24And so,
34:24the first time I tried
34:25to have sex,
34:25I couldn't get an erection
34:26because I was just
34:27too nervous.
34:28Not being able
34:29to get an erection,
34:30it's constantly
34:31playing on my mind.
34:32It feels embarrassing
34:33even to say it
34:34because it's like,
34:34oh, this is something
34:35that old people deal with.
34:37But I just feel,
34:39like, defeated by it.
34:41You spend a lot of time
34:42trying to control
34:43your body from your head.
34:45I want to invite you
34:46to start to let your body
34:47control as opposed
34:48to the opposite.
34:49Yeah.
34:49So, what I want us
34:50to do now
34:51is for you to touch me
34:53and really let yourself
34:55enjoy
34:55and do what feels
34:56good, yeah.
34:57What feels good to you.
34:59This time,
35:00Danielle wants to see
35:01if Alex can fully
35:02immerse himself
35:02in his sensations.
35:04Are you OK
35:05for me to start?
35:06Yes, please.
35:08OK, I'm going to
35:08start with your arm.
35:28Let me down to your chest.
35:51The main overriding thing
35:53is still that worry
35:54of not getting an erection.
35:55but this is, like,
35:57the building blocks.
35:58So, I really want us
35:59to have soft goals
36:00as opposed to hard goals.
36:02No pan intended.
36:04Yeah.
36:04Right?
36:05Because your full body
36:06is, like,
36:07a big erection.
36:08You know,
36:09like,
36:09a full body
36:10is a pleasure tool.
36:12It's not only
36:13your cock
36:14that's a pleasure tool.
36:16Do you get it?
36:17Yeah, absolutely, yeah.
36:18Yeah.
36:25What did you do?
36:27Just your mutual
36:27touching, really.
36:29But I think
36:30I went into it thinking,
36:31oh, yeah,
36:31she'll cure me
36:32and I won't feel anxious
36:32ever again around women.
36:34But you're not going
36:35to get cured
36:35on the first session.
36:37Yeah.
36:41Oh, well,
36:41you do it like that.
36:44Really?
36:44I thought it was like that.
36:46Whilst the others
36:47start to embrace
36:48island life,
36:50Bertie is finding
36:50it harder to adjust.
36:52OK?
36:53A mixture of all nerves.
36:55I don't like you
36:56sitting by yourself.
36:57I'm OK.
36:58I do feel like
36:59the weak link
37:00and the odd one out
37:01because I'm not
37:02very sociable.
37:03I'm still cautious.
37:04I'm still nervous.
37:06You're OK, Bertie.
37:07I'm good.
37:07You're all right?
37:08I'm all right.
37:08Yeah, I was going to go
37:09brush my gums
37:10and do a dance.
37:11But what on earth
37:12am I going to be like
37:14in the days to come
37:15when it gets more challenging?
37:17And more intense?
37:19This whole island is...
37:22It's not just
37:24Virgin Island.
37:24It's unpredictability island.
37:36You know what
37:37most women say
37:38is the length
37:39they want to have sex for?
37:42Four and a half minutes.
37:44Four and a half?
37:45Yeah.
37:45No.
37:46They want to have sex?
37:47No, surely not.
37:48Yeah, they want sex.
37:50The actual P and V
37:51to be four and a half minutes.
37:52Really?
37:53What's P and V?
37:54Penis and vagina.
37:56Oh.
37:57That's good to know.
38:02It's mid-afternoon
38:03on Virgin Island.
38:0630.
38:06Are you all right?
38:08I don't know.
38:08When everyone's all together
38:09it just gets a bit awkward for me.
38:11You know,
38:12I like my...
38:12Oh, my God,
38:12I nearly fell off.
38:13I like my...
38:15My space a bit more.
38:16Just going to just
38:17take it easy for a bit, yeah?
38:18OK.
38:18I'll see you soon.
38:19No worries.
38:20In terms of sex
38:22I've got no clue
38:23which is pretty embarrassing
38:25coming from someone
38:26who's 24 years old
38:28but I don't want to be alone
38:30in my whole life.
38:31I just want to be able
38:33to live normally
38:34and just find more confidence
38:36in myself.
38:40Hi.
38:42Celeste aims to start
38:43Bertie's route to intimacy
38:44by helping him
38:46with connection.
38:47Hello.
38:48Oh, hello.
38:53How do you feel
38:53about eye contact?
38:55I knew that was
38:56going to come out.
38:57I am terrible at it.
38:58My eye contact
38:58goes all over the place
39:00no matter who
39:01I'm talking to.
39:02Well, I do feel like
39:03you think a lot.
39:05I am an overthinker.
39:06So I want to slow it down
39:07a little bit
39:08and let your brain
39:09relax a moment
39:10and then see
39:11what it's like
39:11to come back
39:12more deliberately
39:13and connect
39:14and look at me.
39:24This is a bit awkward,
39:25isn't it?
39:25Intimacy is super awkward.
39:27I know.
39:27That's not going to go away.
39:28Yeah.
39:29So let's just be awkward together.
39:42It's hard to take it seriously.
39:44It is.
39:45And you don't have
39:45to take it so seriously.
39:46You can think
39:47we're just having fun
39:48together.
39:49Yeah.
39:49Yeah.
39:56Yeah.
39:57You've got some good,
39:59sexy eye contact.
40:00You might not know it.
40:03And now you're looking
40:04at me so much more.
40:05I feel connected
40:06to you.
40:09After Bertie
40:10perfects the sexy eyes.
40:12Great.
40:13So if you want
40:13to scooch over
40:14a little bit.
40:15Celeste decides
40:16to increase
40:17the intimacy.
40:20What if I, like,
40:21came in right there
40:22for a second?
40:25I mean,
40:26that would be weird,
40:27but OK.
40:27Yeah.
40:32Oh, that's so nice.
40:33You just perfectly,
40:35like,
40:35invited me
40:36and cuddled me.
40:37Wow.
40:41Hmm.
40:44I really like it
40:45when you kind of
40:46rest your cheek
40:47against my forehead.
40:49Yeah.
40:49You're very natural.
40:51It feels natural.
40:52Exactly.
40:53It feels good.
40:57It's not long
40:57before Celeste's
40:59technique
41:00boosts Bertie's
41:00confidence.
41:03I'll see me
41:04giving you
41:04a little kiss
41:05on the forehead.
41:05I felt that.
41:06I love that.
41:08What about,
41:09can I give you one?
41:09Go on.
41:10Yeah.
41:14Have I got a lipstick
41:15still on the forehead?
41:16Now you're having
41:16a kiss.
41:17You're having
41:17very kiss.
41:21Thank you very much.
41:22Love you,
41:23bye.
41:23OK, bye.
41:25So,
41:27Celeste,
41:27she was brilliant
41:28and this has happened
41:32and I feel
41:33a lot more relieved
41:34and a lot more
41:35at ease
41:36with everything.
41:37That was a bit
41:38of a confidence
41:38boost for me.
41:39Hi Bertie.
41:40Hello.
41:41You OK?
41:42You want to know
41:42how it went?
41:43What do you think?
41:44Let's go.
41:49Bertie's not
41:49going to wash
41:50his cheek.
41:58As the sun
41:59sets on the retreat,
42:01the first phase
42:01of the course
42:02draws to a close.
42:05The first phase
42:06of the course
42:07has been
42:08really intense.
42:09Getting rid of shame
42:10is foundational
42:11to being able
42:12to have
42:12a pleasurable
42:13sex life
42:13but the way
42:14that they have
42:15taken it on,
42:16it's unprecedented.
42:18They all have
42:19challenges,
42:19they all have
42:20traumas,
42:20but every individual
42:21is beautiful
42:22and unique
42:23and the sky's
42:24the limit
42:25in terms of
42:25what's possible here.
42:27To move forward,
42:29the group
42:29must let go
42:30of their
42:30negative emotions.
42:31Oh my gosh,
42:33that's a fire!
42:34Hello!
42:35Hello, guys!
42:36Hello.
42:37So the experts
42:38have arranged
42:38a ceremonial bonfire
42:40to burn away
42:41their lifetime
42:42of shame.
42:45We've asked you
42:46to face
42:47your shame
42:47directly.
42:48You have
42:49talked about it,
42:50put it on
42:50your T-shirts
42:51and now it's
42:53time to
42:53let it go.
42:55The hope
42:55is this ritual
42:56marks a turning
42:57point and the
42:58start of the
42:59rest of their
42:59lives.
43:01So for me,
43:02shame is
43:03feeling ugly.
43:07Sorry.
43:10Yeah, I felt
43:11ugly like
43:12most of my
43:13life and
43:15I felt ashamed
43:17of myself
43:17for, you know,
43:19putting on
43:19weight.
43:21So brave.
43:22Are you ready
43:23to let it go?
43:24Yeah, it's
43:25going in the
43:26fire.
43:26Yes!
43:27Let it go!
43:29Let it go!
43:30Let it go!
43:34Physical
43:34appearance
43:35is a common
43:36theme.
43:37I look at
43:37everyone else
43:38around me
43:38and I think
43:38they're far more
43:39attractive,
43:40never getting
43:40matched
43:40than dating
43:41apps and
43:41it makes me
43:43feel really
43:43crap about
43:44myself.
43:45Fat and
43:45ugly,
43:46unlovable
43:47and I take
43:48up too much
43:48room quite
43:49literally.
43:50I actually
43:51got voted
43:51ugliest girl
43:52in the whole
43:52school.
43:53My God!
43:55And depending
43:55on the people
43:55I can be
43:56too loud
43:56or too quiet
43:57with.
43:58Let it go!
44:00Let it go!
44:01Let it go!
44:06NGE is
44:07not good
44:08enough.
44:08I always feel
44:09like I'm
44:09falling short
44:10of a lot
44:10of things.
44:11Deep-rooted
44:12issues around
44:13self-worth
44:14are also
44:14shared across
44:15the group.
44:16I feel
44:17as though
44:17I might
44:18be perceived
44:19as childish
44:19and that I'm
44:21a bit
44:22unambitious.
44:23I've been
44:24told I'm
44:24too loud
44:25and I'm
44:26too much
44:26for some
44:27people.
44:27And that
44:28leads on
44:28to the
44:29second point
44:29which is
44:30that I'm
44:31unlikable
44:32and I'm
44:32unlovable.
44:33I've not
44:34had an
44:34adult
44:34relationship
44:35at all.
44:36I feel
44:38terribly
44:38unwanted.
44:39I seriously
44:39do.
44:40Are you
44:41ready to
44:41let it
44:41go?
44:42Yeah.
44:44Let it
44:45go!
44:46Let it
44:47go!
44:47Let it
44:50go!
44:50Let it
44:51go!
44:52Let it
44:53go!
45:00It's okay
45:01to try.
45:03I think
45:04I've been
45:04carrying
45:05with me
45:06some feelings
45:07about myself
45:07since I
45:08was about
45:0812.
45:11And I
45:12think
45:12having
45:12these
45:13horrible
45:13thoughts
45:13that I'm
45:14a horrible
45:15person
45:15and that
45:17people don't
45:18like me
45:18and that
45:19I'm really
45:20dirty and
45:20sinful.
45:22Let it
45:23go!
45:24Let it
45:24go!
45:25Let it
45:26go!
45:30Writing
45:31it down
45:31on the
45:32t-shirt
45:32was one
45:33thing
45:33but to
45:33actually
45:34speak it
45:35out
45:35was
45:35liberating.
45:37Yeah.
45:38I found
45:39it really
45:39difficult
45:39to throw
45:40my top
45:40in the
45:41fire
45:41I'm
45:42just
45:42hoping
45:42I
45:43can
45:43become
45:43more
45:44at
45:44one
45:44with
45:44myself.
45:47Shame
45:47is
45:47something
45:47that I
45:48specifically
45:48struggle
45:49with a lot.
45:49I feel
45:50a lot
45:50lighter.
45:52All my
45:52worst things
45:52I think
45:53about myself
45:53are finally
45:54like out
45:54there
45:54and I
45:55burn
45:56them.
46:00next time
46:01your dick
46:02is
46:02connected
46:02to my
46:03pussy
46:03it's the
46:04turn-on
46:04phase
46:05where the
46:06group
46:06discover
46:06their
46:07animal
46:07instincts
46:08there's
46:08another
46:09animal
46:10next to
46:11you
46:11oh
46:12no
46:13emotions
46:14are laid
46:15bare
46:15quite sad
46:16that I'm
46:16still stuck
46:17with that
46:17feeling
46:20and for
46:20some
46:21things are
46:22on the
46:22up
46:22felt really
46:23nice
46:23when you're
46:23brushing
46:24past
46:24my
46:24genitals
46:25would you
46:25like me
46:26to do
46:26that
46:26yeah
46:27yeah
46:27yeah
46:27yeah
46:27yeah
46:27yeah
46:31yeah
46:31yeah
46:32yeah
46:32yeah
46:33yeah
46:34yeah
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