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The Miniature Wife S01E06 [Full Movie] [Long Version]Full EP - Full
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00:11Whatever.
00:22If I was mom, what would my password be?
00:34Oh, yeah.
00:36Darling Daughter by Lindy McMichael Littlejohn.
00:39What if I told you I spent nine months building a jail, only to sentence myself to a lifetime in
00:45prison?
00:46That I've discovered is what motherhood actually is.
00:51From her adorable baby's face, those demonic eyes stare out, laughing at me.
00:56Yes, she's saying, I've ruined your fucking day again.
01:01Mommy, she cries, her voice a razor blade to my ears.
01:04I want her to call out for me.
01:06I want to be there for her.
01:07I want my maternal instinct to kick in.
01:09Why won't I?
01:10I dream of a life without a daughter sucking up the teat of inspiration, preventing me from being,
01:16fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
01:21Fuck.
01:22Mom hates me.
01:35But I thought I'd ask you just to say, what are you doing New Year?
01:44I got your invitation.
01:47A New Year's Eve brunch for me?
01:50I mean, I'm honored, but what, what, what problem is this?
01:55A new perspective.
01:57Oh.
01:58I'm embracing my six-inch self, and I realized I've been kind of a jerk.
02:05Hey, the jerk is strong, given the circumstances.
02:08See, you've been nothing but kind, Richard, and I wanted you to know I am grateful for you and your
02:16company.
02:18The course of true love never did run smell Shakespeare.
02:21No.
02:23New Year, new me.
02:25I'm sorry.
02:26Mama says it's never too late to begin again.
02:30Oh, your mom.
02:31So wise.
02:33Right?
02:33It's a new beginning.
02:34You know what else my mom said?
02:36Should we eat?
02:37It's just gonna get cold.
02:38Okay.
02:39Okay.
02:39Okay.
02:40Okay.
02:40Okay.
03:01A tremendous success.
03:03Subject expanded to regular size and stabilized for 2 minutes and 3.3 seconds, an increase
03:09of 1 minute and 32.7 seconds.
03:12Yes!
03:13Science progress!
03:14Yeah!
03:15Oh, great job.
03:18Well done.
03:18Great job.
03:19Oh, well done.
03:19Yeah, slowing the reaction down, way, way down.
03:21Help.
03:22Yes, the nuclei need time, which is acceptable to form stronger bonds.
03:27Yes, it's fundamental to, yes, for those fragile to cement those connections.
03:32Or alliances.
03:33Yes, yes, yes, yeah.
03:35Are we talking about science?
03:37Yes, Hilton.
03:39We're always talking about science.
03:40This is a lab of science.
03:42Okay, well, I heard a bang and then there was like a cheer of release, so my mind went there.
03:45Where's my head?
03:46Is there good news?
03:47It was a big win, yes.
03:48Slowing the expansion of the corn mitigated the molecular disequilibrium, yes.
03:54Translation, it's remarkable progress.
03:56Fuck yeah.
03:57We should celebrate.
03:58I'm having a New Year's Eve shing dig tonight at my place.
04:01Gonna be amazing food, crazy guest list, and you are all invited.
04:05Wait, it's New Year's Eve?
04:06I can't go.
04:08It's my anniversary.
04:09Oh, just bring Lindy.
04:11It'll be great to see her again.
04:12Well, well, I only organize fantastic parties.
04:18You gotta come.
04:20Done.
04:20Set.
04:20Happy.
04:21See you all there.
04:24Woo!
04:26Translation, see you all there means less only.
04:29And you can't say no.
04:35Do you think you'll bring Lindy?
04:36Um, I don't know.
04:38I mean, it's, uh, I don't know.
04:42Hey, I've done a lot of thinking, and I'm embracing my six-inch self, so new year, new
04:48me.
04:49I forgive you for shrinking me on purpose.
04:51Meet me in the dollhouse.
04:53I have an anniversary surprise for you.
05:00Oh, the missus, she left.
05:03Was she mad?
05:05She had two glasses of wine and left.
05:07Oh, she was mad.
05:08Maybe disappointed.
05:10That's worse, isn't it?
05:13Happy New Year.
05:15Charlie, what's happening?
05:21He shouldn't be alone right now.
05:23Let him go.
05:24Hi.
05:25Let him be.
05:26Hi.
05:31Hey, Lindy.
05:33Hey, Les.
05:35Happy anniversary.
05:38It's okay.
05:39Lay into me.
05:40I deserve it.
05:41You do.
05:45But I understand.
05:49You do?
05:49You're caught up in your work.
05:51And when you're in it, you can lose track of birthdays.
05:54Holidays.
05:56I know I do.
05:57Did.
05:59You supported me in the way I needed it.
06:01So, I'm supporting you.
06:07Okay.
06:09Mm-hmm.
06:09So, I was mad.
06:13I mean, I was alone in a restaurant on New Year's Eve.
06:19But then I came home and I got cozy and I was going to watch the ball drop with Lulu,
06:24but
06:24she won't come out of her room.
06:25Probably something to do with Steffi.
06:27And so I opened up a bottle of your do not touch until never wine.
06:33And now I feel better.
06:37I love you.
06:45I love you, too.
06:49I feel free to apologize profusely.
06:51And maybe next time bring me those chocolates I like from the drugstore.
06:54I am sorry and I apologize profusely for disappointing you and for forgetting our anniversary.
07:15It's like the big box.
07:17Yeah.
07:18Well, happy anniversary.
07:20Happy anniversary.
07:22All right, well, it's forgiven.
07:27I think you dropped this.
07:29Fuck you!
07:31Are you top dancing?
07:33No, fuck you!
07:35Hey, hey, I think this is down far enough!
07:38You know what, Richard?
07:40I think you're right.
07:48Hold on.
07:54This is not good.
07:56Oh, you think?
07:56You think?
07:57I can't believe you did this on purpose.
07:59On purpose?
08:00Why would you do that?
08:01Richard, hey, hey, hey.
08:03This is not about you.
08:03Where's my mom?
08:06No!
08:07Richard!
08:08Listen, we gotta talk about this.
08:10Let's please.
08:11No man could have resisted the siren song of that woman.
08:15The beguiling webs she weaved.
08:17The hypnotic allure of that brunch.
08:19She deceived me.
08:20She deceived both of us.
08:21No.
08:23You deceived me, Richard, for six and a half months.
08:27We share thoughts.
08:29We share science.
08:30We do not share my wife.
08:32Les, I'm sorry.
08:33Nothing else in between us.
08:34I see.
08:35Okay, you're squeezing kind of tightly.
08:38Les.
08:40Please.
08:41Where are we going?
08:43Les, no, no, no.
08:44No, no, no.
08:44Hello, Timorris.
08:46Les, please.
08:47Les, please.
08:48Les, please.
08:49Les, please.
08:50Les, Les, no.
08:52No, please.
08:52Les, Les, no, no.
08:54Ah!
08:55No.
09:01Ah!
09:02Ah, please.
09:04Stop.
09:04My leg, I'm gonna throw up.
09:06Ah!
09:07Ah!
09:11Ah!
09:11Ah!
09:13Ah!
09:13Ah!
09:17Ah!
09:17Ah!
09:18Ah!
09:19Ah!
09:19Ah!
09:20Ah!
09:21Ah!
09:22Ah!
09:22Ah!
09:23Ah!
09:24Ah!
09:26Ah!
09:27Ah!
09:28Ah!
09:29Ah!
09:30Ah!
09:30Ah!
09:31Ah!
09:32Ah!
09:32Ah!
09:32Ah!
09:33Ah!
09:34Ah!
09:36Ah!
09:41Ah!
09:41The pen? Is the pen truly lighter than the sword?
09:46Holy God!
09:49I'm not sure.
09:50I'm not ready.
09:57Shit.
10:04Why is he doing?
10:14What is that?
10:16Shut the fuck up, space Enos.
10:26Live in darkness.
10:52Richard?
10:55Richard?
11:09Richard?
11:13Richard?
11:15Richard?
11:20Richard?
11:26Richie!
11:29Richard!
11:31Where are you?
11:33Richie!
11:34I'm sorry!
11:36I know this is all my fault!
11:39Oh, fuck.
11:41That is a lot of text.
11:44Wait.
11:48What?
11:51No!
11:52Oh, my God!
11:53What is she?
11:56Good morning.
11:57We recently featured Pulitzer Prize winning author Lindy Littlejohn on the Read With Jenna segment of our show.
12:02We've learned Lindy's been accused of plagiarizing her recently published New Yorker short story, Untitled On Purpose.
12:09The shocking allegation originated from an unexpected and personal place,
12:13a viral TikTok video posted by the author's own daughter, Louise Littlejohn.
12:18So, my mom is a, quote, successful writer, unquote.
12:23Woo!
12:23She wrote one book 150 years ago.
12:27Anyway, this week, out of nowhere, mom drops a short story in The New Yorker and everyone loses their shit
12:34over it.
12:34Well, I'm gonna let you in on a big secret.
12:38My mom didn't write it.
12:41She stole it from one of her students.
12:44What?
12:44The actual fuck?
12:46She spends her days watching Housewives and making fake Paris review accounts so she can shit talk other writers.
12:52We were unable to reach Lindy Littlejohn directly for comment, but we were able to reach the author's mother, Diane
12:59McMichael Jones,
13:00who is widely suspected to have inspired the mother character in her daughter's Pulitzer Prize winning debut novel, My Rainbow
13:07Starts With Black.
13:08Oh!
13:08No, I have no comment.
13:11Except to say, I haven't read Lindy's little story.
13:16But I will say, I didn't care for her portrayal of the mother character in her novel.
13:19Oh!
13:20The real crime is that Lindy made me out to be a terrible mother, which I'm not.
13:27What a wild, unexpected turn for Lindy Littlejohn.
13:31We'll continue to follow this story and keep you updated as it develops.
13:37I'm gonna let you recall it.
13:40My mom didn't write it.
13:43She stole it from one of her students.
13:46The truth is, my mom doesn't even write anymore.
13:48She spends her days watching Housewives and making fake Paris review accounts so she can shit talk other writers.
13:55Oh, sorry, I didn't hear my name.
13:57I didn't call it.
13:58I wanted to bring it to you personally.
14:00Oh.
14:01Okay.
14:03I also have a complicated relationship with my mother.
14:06Here.
14:07The cake pop.
14:08On me.
14:09I hope you like vanilla.
14:12Thank you, St. Lulu de Lulu.
14:32Let's go.
14:33No, no, no, no, no, no.
14:45I'm sorry.
14:49Can you answer that?
14:50I'm sorry.
14:51I can't wait.
14:53Bye.
14:55I'm sorry.
14:56I'm sorry.
14:57I'm sorry.
15:00I'm sorry.
15:00I'm sorry.
15:01I'm sorry.
15:01I'm sorry.
15:01I'm sorry.
15:04here's to us i thought you were bringing in us
15:08new year new glass wow who knew hey no lindy tonight no no she's at home under a blanket
15:15not in a party oh well i can't say i blame her uh that interview turned into quite the
15:21greek tragedy but you can tell me i won't tell anyone other than everyone you should
15:28do it plagiarize the story oh i don't know what i don't know right answer deny deny deny
15:35all set for tonight everything is in place great oh general and word of course looking
15:42forward to the party trick party trick what a performance there are several important private
15:48equity investors here that hilton would love to impress with a preview of your tech absolutely
15:52not i am a scientist not a party clown you know the tech is incomplete what am i supposed
15:58to do fake it no it's just a preview short and sweet the corn is small ta-da the corn
16:05is big
16:05ta-da end of story it's fraud it's sales it's my ass in prison is what it is i've already
16:11got a journalist poking around the lab asking questions about bob the explainer's medbot
16:15brother-in-law what's to stop neils exposing me let me worry about neils and your ass it is one
16:22worth saving tonight the only thing on your mind should be no bell no bell no bell
16:36do you see what i said
16:42it's dr amiel schofhausen nobel prize recipient and current committee member chair in fact
16:49i did my postgraduate work on dr schofhausen's theory of entanglement swapping he is a bona fide
16:54science genius yes yes yes just imagine what the support of a man like that would do for your crew
16:59wrong it's just a preview short and sweet small and big
17:08ta-da
17:24hey why are you here why are any of us here oh god is this where we are um well
17:28everyone else is uh down the hall getting drunk as hell watching the tourists in times square
17:32freeze their asses off we're doing a shot every time a police force takes a dump
17:37i need something different in my life
17:44what's this something different
17:52did you open this no yes it's my job my eyes than yours
18:09oh fuck what do i do
18:13oh it's him i know it you answer it you answer it it's your job
18:18i'm actually off the clock so you answer it fuck
18:27hello this is terry yeah it's me it's lindy oh i'm not missing a shit show
18:32your phone is off for just this reason
18:36you're hiding from me because you failed me no no no no no you failed me what happened to do
18:44nothing say nothing you don't understand i am so small i needed something
18:53well you're about to get smaller lindy the damage has been done
18:57the pulitzer committee is meeting and there's talk of rescinding your award
19:01no no not really no they can't they can and they most likely will
19:06but
19:08but why am i without it
19:14a former client
19:18terry
19:19brutal but warranted
19:21lindy i tried i really tried but i'm somehow still clean in this this this
19:25shit storm shit sandwich a shit needle
19:27shit nado
19:29i warned you lindy and you chose jenna over me
19:32over our friendship our partnership
19:36i can't believe i'm saying this but i i
19:45i'm officially cutting ties with you
19:48terry
19:50please no
19:51please don't leave me i i have no one
19:55i am totally alone here i my my own mother
19:59my daughter my husband
20:01les fucking hates me
20:02it is truly over between us now and i can't
20:07lose you too
20:11i'm sorry it's come to this
20:24hey you had to i know it's hard i'll miss her too
20:28oh um miss oldham happy new year
20:30nothing happy nothing new
20:32why did you offer a jackie baldwin a six-figure book deal when i've seen no jackie
20:36no book no email no proposal
20:38sid she has the next big thing out
20:41well you better hope so
20:42no lindy no jackie no imprint
20:47love the top
20:50paper trail you're unclean
20:51so are you
21:12now i need a volunteer
21:35that's fantastic that's wonderful
21:39gone has been miniaturized into what appears to be one tenth its original size one twelve
21:46to be precise
21:48and now
22:14two minute warning
22:16this has serious implications for you
22:19dr little john
22:20it's been an explosive evening
22:26quick the corn go
22:33here we are i was just saying to um dr schofhausen who was expecting an explosion how clever was that
22:39we mitigated the explosion by storing the exothermally generated energy on a subatomic level yes it was an explosive
22:47discovery
22:51to an explosive new year
23:07i hit rock bottom
23:13it's all fucking gone
23:17what is the point
23:28richie
23:29you're alive
23:30oh my god
23:31no no no
23:32you disgust me
23:34i'm me and i'm disgusted
23:36it consumes me
23:38my heart
23:39my mind
23:40my soul
23:41everything hurts
23:42richie
23:43oh god i'm so sorry
23:45but i
23:45well but
23:47a true apology should never include a qualifier
23:53you're right
23:55i'm sorry
23:56no but
23:56what i did was inexcusable
24:01i had no idea lest was gonna react like that
24:03i didn't think it through
24:05i
24:05i suppose a reaction of that magnitude couldn't have been predicted
24:08i
24:09i need you
24:12now more than ever
24:13you have
24:14no idea
24:15what has happened to me
24:17what happened to you
24:18yeah
24:19i have the floor
24:22okay
24:23i'm gonna finish my monologue
24:25of course
24:26i was forced to do unspeakable things to one of god's beloved creatures
24:31i was coerced into abandoning my moral code and playing a part in your marital folly
24:38but i am not above reproach
24:41i am guilty on two counts
24:43one in the name of love
24:44and the other
24:46in the name of science
24:49i believe unless
24:50i believe he'll solve the restoration formula before his 30 day deadline
24:55and i will
24:56bang him
24:58to forgive me
25:00then i will throw myself
25:02at the mercy of science
25:04in the hopes of being restored to my regular size
25:10did you say 30 day deadline
25:14that is what you heard
25:15no
25:16no
25:16i heard
25:17i heard it all
25:18the
25:18folly
25:19and the
25:20less
25:21and the
25:21but
25:22but
25:22but
25:22but
25:23but
25:23but what the fuck is the 30 day deadline
25:26according to the contract
25:27less has 30 days
25:28the solda formula
25:30or he's fired
25:31and the tech reverts to hilton
25:33he has
25:3422 days left
25:38he only ever had 30 days
25:41and now he only has
25:4222
25:43oh my god
25:44oh it's closer to 21 actually
25:47another fucking lie
25:49oh my golly
25:51right
25:51no
25:52wait where are you going
25:53i need space
25:54from you
25:56okay but
25:58i'm getting my own place
26:04fucking less
26:06he is gonna pay for this
26:13what kind of monster
26:14makes a horrible tiktok video
26:16about their own mother
26:17you are a spoiled child
26:19and a lying liar
26:20mommy mad
26:22if you thought that was crazy
26:24wait until you hear
26:26DJ Todd's remake
26:31you're locked up
26:33mind drop
26:34mind drop
26:35mind drop
26:35fire
26:38why
26:38why
26:39why
26:39why
26:51you're a liar
26:53why
26:54liar
26:57who are you what who are you i don't recognize you i'm st lulu to lulu you got half that
27:06right
27:07hey i read the book how fucking lindy was my move very see i think you missed the point that
27:15was the
27:16point want another drink sure boss me too face yourself to lulu
27:33can i fucking help you i don't want your help wow judgment from the shirtless wonder she's your mom
27:40she's a liar you'll regret it fuck that i am her literal regret you sure are living up to that
27:50title
27:50aren't you
28:10you good i'm peeing you're scrolling
28:18fuck off tarzan no one made you come here my bladder made me come here you think you're so clever
28:25i know you came here tonight to see me yes this is the guy who followed me into the bathroom
28:31what if i did is that for i knew a little did you buy that i kind of wanted to
28:40is that bad
28:43kind of kind of you kind of liked it you did you followed me in here
28:52what's that
29:02lindy lindy guess who's getting his big prize
29:14this is gonna open a bottle but not to be open never
29:17me
29:20oh that's richard richard
29:26oh god oh god oh god oh god is that blood who's blood
29:34is that human flesh
29:37oh my god richard richard richard i'm i'm sorry i'm sorry
29:47richard richard i was angry and i was hurt and i thought a few pecs would even the score
29:53richard
29:57richard
29:59please please richard reveal yourself
30:06lindy
30:30you want to kill the man
30:44are you anonymous that is the only way this works
30:54okay
30:57i'm not used to the hulk looking dagger routine
30:59not scientific american
31:01do you know who i am
31:03yeah you're
31:06anonymous
31:06you passed
31:08drive
31:18who were
31:24richard
31:26janet
31:26happy new year
31:28happy new year to you too
31:30oh
31:30what happened to your head
31:32oh i just i had an altercation
31:35with a bird
31:36on the farm
31:37yeah something like that
31:39so listen i just wanted to say
31:41thank you
31:42for the quill pen
31:44it um
31:44saved my life
31:46well the pen is
31:47minier than the sword
31:48i can assess for that
31:50where are you
31:52i'm at the lab
31:53in the
31:53creepy basement
31:55uh
31:56here to reboot the uh
31:58thermal energy tank
32:00you do the short straw again
32:02mhm
32:03bob should have stepped up
32:05oh yeah it's
32:06it's okay i was um
32:07i was out anyway
32:08huh
32:08you on a date
32:10no no i i was um
32:12it was a work event
32:14you wouldn't guess where
32:16tell me everything
32:18it was at hilton's mansion
32:19he invited all of us
32:21me and the bobs
32:22well not the bobs
32:26so
32:31so
32:33I don't know.
33:30I don't know.
33:33Where's Richard?
33:35Who knows?
33:36Weren't you the last one to see him?
33:38How's the formula coming, huh?
33:40What, have you got 22 days left or is it technically 21 now?
33:45Lindy.
33:45Either way, I bet you're so close.
33:49Make that the epitaph of my tiny headstone, fucker.
33:53I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to worry you.
33:55And I'm not worried.
33:57I've accepted.
33:59You can't solve the formula.
34:01I will solve the formula.
34:02Fuck you, you lie even to yourself.
34:05I've made peace with being six inches tall.
34:08I even kind of like it.
34:10And I plan to make the next 21 days of your life a living hell.
34:14What the hell?
34:15What?
34:16Why?
34:17Careful, sweetie.
34:18Your ass is on fire.
34:32Oh god, I've created a tiny monster.
34:46The stars have claimed one of their own.
34:52It's been an honor, Space Colonel.
35:16I'll see your tiny cat, Dr. Little John, and raise you a tiny.
35:24Silenced reporter.
35:27Hold...
35:29...da...
35:31...da...
35:32...da...
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