Static Shock: Static Shaq

AJ McKenzie

Shaquille O'Neal guest stars  IG: aj_mckenzie416  Twitter: AJMckenzie94847

Transcript

00:28Aight

00:30Hey rock'n'rollers, I'll be taking you down the guitars

00:35You got a problem with that?

00:43Looks clear, Aight. Good. We don't want to be running into you-know-who again

00:48Now who could he be talking about?

00:53Uh-oh. Hey, up there. Bad timing, Pops.

00:58Yuck! Miss me?

01:03Hey, rock the gear!

01:04Come on.

01:05Come on.

01:08Yuck!

01:12Yuck!

01:13Yuck!

01:17Yuck!

01:19Yuck!

01:20Yuck!

01:23Yuck!

01:24Yuck!

01:26Yuck!

01:26They'll be stuck for a while. I magnetized the doors. Sorry I can't stay, but I got a 9-1

01:30-1 across town.

01:31See ya!

01:35Yep.

01:36Every time we make a move, he's always there.

01:39She'll hide.

01:41You're all to hear mine.

01:47Are you serious, brother?

01:54Sharon, Pop's called you too?

01:56What's going on?

01:57Relax, baby, brother.

01:58Dad just wants us to meet an old friend of his.

02:00That's all.

02:01That's all?

02:02I get an urgent 911 page for that?

02:04Who is it this time?

02:06Another marine buddy?

02:07I'll just bet this dude puts the B in boring.

02:10Uh, I don't think so, Virgil.

02:13Are you sure about that?

02:14Kids, I'd like you to meet an old friend of mine.

02:17Shaquille O'Neal.

02:20Huh?

02:25Good to meet you, Mr. O'Neal.

02:27I'm Sharon.

02:28Good to meet you, too.

02:29And it's Shaq.

02:30What's up, little man?

02:32You must be...

02:33Shaq.

02:34No, I'm Shaq.

02:35You gotta be Virgil.

02:36Heard a lot about you.

02:37Uh, I...

02:39This is Shaq!

02:41How do you...

02:41When...

02:42Why did...

02:42You?

02:42I met Shaq at a basketball camp a while back when he was just about your age.

02:48Yeah, Mr. H was our counselor.

02:50Used to call him the big man.

02:51We've been tight ever since.

02:53Shaquille's in town on a publicity junket for the weekend, but he's volunteered to do a basketball

02:57mini-camp while he's here.

02:59It's gonna be a big surprise for the kids.

03:01Cool!

03:03So, Virgil, your dad says you got a nice handle.

03:06Ha!

03:07The only handle Virgil's got is attached to the refrigerator.

03:10Zip it, she who dribbles without a ball.

03:13Got some time for a little horse?

03:14Me?

03:15Hooping it up with you?

03:17Bad?

03:17No, no.

03:18That conflicts with his Good Day Dakota appearance.

03:20No, then he has that radio interview.

03:23Oh, light bulb.

03:24We can squeeze you in between the mall opening and the mayor's fundraiser.

03:27Say around two?

03:28That's what I'm here for.

03:30Kiss, kiss.

03:31Well, intro time.

03:33Tracy Flackman, Mr. O'Neill's East Coast Public Relations Liaison.

03:37And you must be Mr. Hawking.

03:39Hawkins.

03:40Hawkins.

03:40Yes, of course.

03:41Oopsie.

03:42Tracy?

03:43Jared, darling, where have you been hiding?

03:45I've been trying to reach you all morning.

03:47She's a little high-strung.

03:48No, you're not interrupting anything.

03:50We'll be there in ten minutes.

03:52Ciao.

03:53Guess what?

03:53They've rescheduled the photo shoot at the marina.

03:55The whales are available after all.

03:59But Shaq and I were going to shoot some hoops.

04:01I know.

04:02Shall we?

04:03Sorry, Virgil.

04:05I'm going to have the rain check our game.

04:07Yeah, sure.

04:08But hey, I've kept tonight free for a quiet dinner with friends.

04:11How does that sound?

04:12Chowing down with a diesel?

04:13Sounds great.

04:14Fat instead of fat.

04:15Good.

04:16Dinner's at my hotel.

04:17Eight o'clock.

04:18Catch you tonight.

04:20Man, my dinner with Shaq.

04:23Is it too late to have Sharon disowned?

04:24Hey!

04:25Ow!

04:26Dad!

04:27You do the crime, you do the time.

04:55I wish I could hear more of it.

04:58ferret listen Rodin the only thing on our to-do list is static

05:04I'm sick and tired of this he's always getting the drop on us but this time

05:11we're gonna track him down and then we'll have superhero for supper take a

05:16win I still can't believe it FaceTime with Shaq daddy dead diesel thanks for the

05:36hook-up mr. H yeah pops thanks a lot I know that you and Virgil are both big fans

05:42I'm sure there's enough Shaq to go around I wonder how he'll sign my poster to

05:48Richie from Shaq that's weak from one superstar to another one love the

05:54diesel oh yeah I'm feeling it hold on aftershave we'll go on the side door

06:05why would Virgil need aftershave you don't have facial hair excuse me we're

06:14here for the O'Neil dinner right this way

06:25quiet dinner huh

06:34hey guys hey Shaq I'm sorry this turned into such a big blowout what can I

06:39tell you Tracy strikes again do I know you huh I was so his name's rich he's

06:48attached to us like fungus nice to meet you rich listen I just got this new

06:54basketball video game in my suite want to check it out yeah if we could just sneak

06:58out of here oh Shaq here that's going to be hard remember we are mingling but I've got

07:05the president of the local ladies auxilary waiting over here why would Shaq want to talk to them

07:17you sure he's in there oh yeah the place reeks a static then put this on and find him

07:25oh why do I have to do all the hard stuff oh that's right Shaq has made this event a

07:34big success I'm telling you

07:38this party is about to blow up

07:47I don't like his idea of blowing up parties

07:54I get that all the time

07:57de-stress V might as well get our grubs on while we wait for Shaq

08:06oh no his ferret face

08:14yo V what's ferret doing here

08:16I got a bad feeling about this

08:23static gotcha

08:26oh really are you sure

08:30excuse me

08:32happens to be a private party

08:34what where's static

08:36I thought I had him I mean he was right there

08:40he was right there

08:42I don't want to get that

08:44yeah

08:57that way

09:09Nice shot!

09:24We're going up again!

09:43Hey driver, let's go!

09:57Man, what was that about?

10:00Welcome to Dakota.

10:10Hey!

10:14Hey!

10:15That's the guy who sniffed on me.

10:17He wasn't robbing his place.

10:21Um, maybe he had a bad head cold.

10:23Nah, it was more like he was on the series.

10:27Hello?

10:29Yes, Tracy.

10:30No, Tracy.

10:32I've had my fill of paparazzi for one night.

10:34What?

10:34Shaquille!

10:35The media are clamoring to hear how you single-handedly captured that icky ferret person.

10:39Gee, I wonder who told him that.

10:41Now don't be a cranky pants.

10:43An interview will make you feel better.

10:46How fast can you get here?

10:47Shaquille!

10:48What?

10:49I think we got a bad connection.

10:51I'll call you to-

10:53Wait!

10:54Where are you?

10:55Oh, jinkies.

10:58That is, if you don't mind me staying here tonight.

11:00Are you kidding?

11:01The night's still young, Shaq.

11:03Oh yeah, up for a little two-on-one?

11:05Twelve midnight is not young.

11:07You can play in the morning if Shaq has time.

11:09Otherwise, we're all going to bed.

11:12Ah!

11:12Going home in limo.

11:14Ah!

11:24Oh!

11:26Is that a dreamy grin?

11:28Wait!

11:29You'll have plenty to eat when we reach the state pen.

11:32You are never back, but-

11:43I'm-

11:44Now you are back!

11:50I'm talking world wide.

11:52All purpose war.

11:53Drops to the floor.

11:54About 15.

11:55Just to p-

11:56Me in the eyes.

11:57Th What?

11:57That stick out the ring.

12:00Look.

12:09You're still here.

12:12Can't pass up homemade pancakes.

12:14At least someone appreciates my cooking.

12:17Yeah, the size of a toaster if you put some salt on it.

12:19So, Virg, you got an hour before I got a dinner.

12:24Play some ball.

12:28See?

12:39She's back.

12:40There are no here?

12:44I'll see you.

12:45Press people, come on.

12:47Save the land.

12:48Sometimes you feel like you're being hunted, you know?

13:00Whoa!

13:01Did I just get a whip?

13:02Come on!

13:05Yeah, dummy.

13:12They're probably trying to out-talk each other right now.

13:18At last!

13:22Everybody, everybody!

13:23What is this?

13:24The old community.

13:27We'll have some...

13:28Woo!

13:29Privacy!

13:30Look at you!

13:31Look at you!

13:32Such a kick!

13:34Seems like everyone after you 24-7!

13:36How can you get it?

13:37First is Shaq, the super-

13:43Break out, find some daylight, and turn back into Shaquille.

13:47Just your regular seven-foot guy.

13:49You see, the trick is balancing the two lives.

13:52I love being Shaq.

13:53But if I don't take time off of Shaq, it's not worth it.

13:57Know what I mean?

13:58Cheap.

13:58Stop it!

13:59Let's see.

14:02Call that my V-spin.

14:04Hmm, you ready to start playing?

14:05You missed it.

14:12He's really close, I-

14:13Still slow up.

14:16You out last night, wasn't he?

14:19Why?

14:19It's a long s-

14:22You hear the-

14:23Too sad about-

14:24Living a day-

14:24I-

14:25I-

14:26I-

14:28I-

14:29I-

14:30I-

14:31I-

14:35...

14:37This took me near one of them-

14:40Where's daddy?

14:41That gives me more, too.

14:42Hee the McDijl!

14:44That's uhh, put out of them!

14:45B-b-b-b-b- that Shaq!

14:49FRIi-

14:50Ha!

14:50More.

14:52I've got MOUTHWASH!

14:58You gotta be careful with those machines!

15:05You okay?

15:06Yeah, it knocked out.

15:07Got you now, tough guy.

15:18Time out.

15:37Way to play D, big man.

15:51He stops.

15:52He falls.

15:55He hits.

15:58Looks like we got in the game after all.

16:01Yeah.

16:03How's the weather up there?

16:05I always wanted to say that.

16:12Especially thank Mr. H for having here.

16:15Unfortunately, I have a plane to get some shit up with.

16:18But the best game I've had with Samu called Mr. Spin.

16:21No, he's a real player.

16:31Ashes? Yugi?

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