00:03I'm sorry, Emily.
00:04I'm assuming you're a Wonder Man and not a Barnaby.
00:07Correct.
00:07I don't have a doorman waiver on file for you,
00:10so I'm going to need you to sign this.
00:12Assuming, of course, you don't have superpowers.
00:15The showrunner just called.
00:17He's cutting your character from the show.
00:19What happened on American Horror Story, son?
00:21I got fired, okay?
00:22Oh, no, Simon.
00:23No, Mommy, it wasn't my fault.
00:25Of course, nothing is ever your fault.
00:27Don't upset him.
00:31You know, I'd never work again if anyone found out.
00:34What are you talking about?
00:35Because of DeMar Doorman Davis.
00:38Sorry, who's DeMar Doorman Davis?
01:20Oh, damn.
01:22Sorry.
01:22I can't let y'all in.
01:23What?
01:24Why not?
01:24You see right there, it says, uh, you're from Texas.
01:27And I heard they dance weird out there.
01:30Yeah, we don't do none of this in L.A.
01:32Woo-hoo!
01:34Don't say don't tell your mama.
01:35She's too slow.
01:36Oh, my God.
01:37I think we'll be okay.
01:39All right.
01:39Just in there, girl.
01:42Don't injure yourself now, you hear?
01:43He-haw!
01:44Oh, yeah.
01:45Look who's in the house.
01:48Oh!
01:49What?
01:50There he is.
01:50Send back.
01:51What's up?
01:51Mr. Gad, how you doing, sir?
01:53Mr. Gad, come on, man.
01:54Call me Josh or Jay Gad.
01:57I'm trying to make that a thing.
01:58Anyway, so what's cooking tonight?
01:59Oh, y'all gonna have fun tonight.
02:00We got the guy from Imagine Dragons DJing.
02:03Radioactive.
02:04Most important song of the last three years.
02:06Easy.
02:07Listen, if things slow down out here, why don't you come in and have a drink with me?
02:10Yeah?
02:11Oh, that's very nice of you.
02:12Come here.
02:15That's it.
02:18Okay.
02:19I'm just gonna wear the shades, and I don't know.
02:22Are you really with them?
02:25Because...
02:26Next!
02:27Seems like it was live in here.
02:29The line outside was slammed.
02:30People went apeshit when Olaf started crowd surfing.
02:33I bet.
02:34Do you realize the first time I tipped you out was over three years ago?
02:39You kidding?
02:40I've been here that long?
02:42Do you like working here tomorrow?
02:44Of course.
02:45Why do you say that?
02:46We don't normally have employees last with us this long.
02:49It's Hollywood.
02:49There was an actor or a model, and, you know, working here is just a stepping stone.
02:55That ain't me.
02:56I like this gig.
02:57It's fun.
02:58Tips are good.
02:59Get to talk to people.
03:01Be myself.
03:03That's all I really need.
03:04You don't meet a lot of people in this town who are happy with where they're at.
03:09Hold on to that.
03:11Why wouldn't I?
03:12Probably because you're going to be hauling a stinky bag of garbage in about two seconds.
03:16Oh.
03:19Heart to heart's over.
03:21Sorry.
03:22Thank you very much.
03:23Fun while it lasted.
03:38Shit.
03:42Shit.
03:44Shit.
04:01What the hell?
04:22What the hell?
04:46What the hell?
05:32What the hell are you doing?
05:33Get out of my apartment!
05:34Ma'am, this is a misunderstanding.
05:36I put my hand in some goo and all of a sudden my dog fell through the floor.
05:40I promise I'm not breaking in!
05:45Whoa!
05:45I'm leaving!
05:47I'm leaving!
05:49I'm leaving!
06:18I'm leaving!
06:21I'm leaving!
06:25I'm leaving!
06:27I'm leaving!
06:30I'm leaving!
06:41I'm leaving!
06:42I'm leaving!
06:43I'm leaving!
07:09I'm leaving!
07:14I'm leaving!
07:14I'm leaving!
07:33I'm leaving!
07:41I'm leaving!
07:43I'm leaving!
07:44I'm leaving!
07:45I'm leaving!
08:12I'm leaving!
08:15I'm leaving!
08:16I'm leaving!
08:42I'm leaving!
08:45I'm leaving!
09:01I'm leaving!
09:04I'm leaving!
09:07You're going to stay on the payroll.
09:08Look, Mr. J. Gadd, I appreciate it, bud!
09:10I'm fine here.
09:11Got a good ball...
09:12Starting salary is 200k plus benefits.
09:15Yeah, that'll work.
09:16Yeah.
09:17Josh Gadd is in the news again.
09:19The Frozen star is catching fire and turning heads with his new superpowered personal valet.
09:24The man in question appears to be DeMar Davis, former Wilcox employee who's affectionally
09:29been dubbed doorman he's been spotted all over town with josh and seemingly has the power to
09:34move himself and his boss through solid walls davis recently saved a crowd from a fire at a
09:40popular nightclub now it seems he's exclusively using his talents in service of gad meanwhile
09:46this mormon has just booked a new project an action comedy called cash grab you might say
09:52this former lefou is cast on a roll dying for some sugar they got some stale snickerdoodle cookies
10:09over there but it's better to have no cookie than a disappointing cookie you know what i'm saying
10:13frank premager hanover agency oh i heard of that tomorrow right yeah the doormat live and direct
10:22ding dong you're a funny guy thank you yeah you ever think about acting nah not my thing
10:32frank besides who can get jay gad his snack plate true keep it you never know it's just you know
10:39the
10:39heist is feeling flat i agree i think we need something more original well we could go back
10:46to flooding the vault i always liked that version snatched you some crab rangoons before they got
10:50housed or we could use liquid nitrogen to freeze the locks and shatter the vault needs to be
10:58impenetrable the whole point is that this crew are the only ones on the planet that can get in or
11:03out um i may have something look man i want to help out i can't act who cares i can't
11:13act it's never
11:14stop me from being an actor we'll make sure it's only a couple of lines this will be easy i'm
11:19telling
11:19you you know it's easy if you bring somebody else in keep the idea brilliant idea bringing a real actor
11:25then you can fake it with cgi yeah but what makes it cool is that it's you people know who
11:32you are they
11:33would go crazy i don't know i'm more comfortable behind the scenes tomorrow there is a reason that
11:40you are making headlines you have something that other people just don't it's uh a charisma a charm
11:48on top of all of that you can become a door it is not every day that an opportunity like
11:54this just
11:55falls into your lap you do realize that right all right yeah all right it's gonna be great
12:12vamos a la playa amigos we've been training 10 years for this
12:15and now we've only got 30 seconds to grab some cash
12:30i knew you tripped the silent alarm what difference does it make we're all gonna die
12:34keep it together you two why jake it's time to panic i wouldn't be so sure about that
12:54what did i tell you huh i love you and things get a little crazy on this week's murphy family
13:02when special guest demar doorman davis comes a knocking
13:07there's the door man
13:15where is that thing i'm so embarrassed oh hold on i got this
13:27ding dong baby ding to the dome the people are real the rulings are real and this week's guest
13:34judge isn't afraid to tell it like it is ding dong i said ding dong you ding dong i am
13:40a big fan you
13:41want to pick okay
13:47i remember this place dang girl you done got found what's up yo you mind if i come in for
13:54a drink oh
13:54of course mr doorman please head right in yeah oh the thing's quiet there why don't you come have a
14:00drink with us drink with us oh i love that thank you ding dong
14:30is there a celebrity in here that used to be my employee
14:33oh thank you what's going on wow
14:40y'all this is bridget bailey yeah number one club owner in la and an amazing boss wow look at
14:47you
14:48you look great thank you i heard you got a movie out ding dong i'm sorry i haven't seen it
14:53yet oh
14:53yes don't worry about it how are you doing me yeah you know same old same old so uh
15:00uh you happy damn straight just got all the phone with my agent he told me he landed me a
15:07huge huge
15:09huge commercial contract wow life's about to change
15:21what the hell would not not make more sense as a catchphrase that's a good one samuel mark that one
15:31please tell me when it's 15 minutes are up get real tired of this ding dong business
15:40some fools are hating but doorman still makes me smile thank you
15:49i'll come grab you in a bit for rehearsal let me know if you need anything else will do
15:54oh maybe some ice for the water or i could go to town with this brown
16:05door man yo this is crazy i'm such a huge fan bro good to meet you bro i appreciate that
16:11yeah so
16:12hey look i was looking over the pages we wrote that at three o'clock in the morning man go
16:16easy
16:16on me no no it ain't that it's just i'm i'm a little nervous about the bit don't sweat it
16:22people
16:22love when you can poke a little fun at yourself man trust me okay cool i gotta get back out
16:27to
16:27rehearsals all right see you out there for sure hey what's up y'all it's me d-list actor and
16:41literal
16:41door demar davis a.k.a doorman and welcome to ding dong tonight
17:00taste like door ding dong what else i got up in here oh oh my mixtape this is my mixtape
17:10i've been
17:15call this the go long ding dong what are you doing here i thought you was hiding out from the
17:32irs
17:35earl come on you got to cool it with those rumors and that impression ding dong i mean who is
17:41that
17:41that's not me is it i mean i'm much more than just a catchphrase you know earl a lot of
17:46people
17:46don't realize that i've been taking acting classes at the stella atler academy really yeah well let's see
17:53some of that train
18:11alas poor yurik i knew him horatio a fellow of infinite ding dong
18:25with my diet sometimes i have trouble getting things to move through me try expolex it'll have
18:32your insides as insubstantial as mine doorman boundaries ding dong
18:41expolex and new black cherry flavor oh oh sure you don't want to slow down there pal
18:50you're out of late well i'm here now what do you want to talk about expolex they said the campaign
18:58will be smart and elevated like seinfield and american express with these yeah about that
19:05ogilvy is cutting the contract short they just feel the jokes a little
19:11stale exactly that's why we need to come up with some new ideas let me picture late tomorrow they
19:17already signed michael strahan so strahan yeah that doesn't make sense just a normal guy he is charming
19:24af and apparently suffers from chronic constipation yeah can we fight this i mean we got a contract
19:31right i don't think we want to take on a huge advertising agency things are getting pretty tight
19:37behind on car payments and a few other things come on demar you got to be more careful with your
19:42money you know how this business works you can't count on the next paycheck until it's in your hands
19:50you've never said that i'm saying it now
19:56you don't have any other superpowers you didn't tell me about right just a door thing
20:02okay well look this is a dip this is a tiny little dip we're gonna get back on top we're
20:08gonna get you something better something smart and elevated trust me
20:16that's right this you don't even need this no more this is a drum because with the potato bag
20:20your potatoes will come fluffy on the inside and chewy on the outside why juggle a tough schedule when
20:26you can just use the potato bag just drop it and plop it in the microwave you hear that sound
20:32i think the potatoes just said ding dong
20:38well looks like doorman is back in the news only this time the overnight success finds himself in a
20:43bit of hot water steam might be more accurate demar davis has been hit with several lawsuits over his
20:50involvement in the potato bag product which has been found to cause severe steam burns ouch
20:57hey doorknobs i just wanted to get on today just to let you know that i'm sorry to the hundreds
21:02of
21:03you who experienced steam burns from using the potato bag i want you to know that i'm in full support
21:09of the class action lawsuit and that i too was misled by food america product incorporated i think at this
21:18moment i need to take some time to step away and really reflect on where all this is going for
21:25me
21:25and for you so stay supportive and i will stay supporting you keep knocking
21:57here's my best friend miss you man
21:59i miss you more guess what though studio wants cash grab too really hell yeah you bullshitting
22:05no man we're getting the band back together you in of course i'm in ah beautiful man let's do it
22:12yeah hell yeah amazing all right i'll be in touch bud all right
22:23thank you thank you thank you don't mess this up don't mess this up
22:48everybody use that again i'm coming tomorrow
22:56go ahead
22:58oh
23:03cash grab too apart is up in our game on the stunts hey you're an incredible hulk huh you ain't
23:07that tall
23:08tomorrow you're all right with that right the stunts of course me and tom cruise we do our own stunts
23:13baby
23:15you're going to get one shot at this you're ready always
23:35shake
23:38we're in position they're in place
23:43here we go
23:58i'm going through
24:22Where is he?
24:24He didn't come out.
24:41Where is Josh Gad?
24:43The world wants to know.
24:45It's been months since he disappeared inside DeMar Davis,
24:48and the Department of Damage Control is still searching for answers.
24:52We want to assure the American public that the Department of Damage Control
24:55takes this horrific incident seriously.
24:57DeMar Davis will be continually monitored for the rest of his life.
25:02We will do everything in our power to ensure a tragedy of this magnitude never happens again.
25:08While the DODC continues to probe, experiment, and investigate every inch of DeMar Davis,
25:14Hollywood is now waiting.
25:16Every major studio in Hollywood is doing their part to avoid another possible tragedy.
25:21They're calling it the doorman clause.
25:24Going forward, it will be nearly impossible for super-powered individuals to perform in major motion picture or TV roles.
25:32The insurance required now? Astronomical.
25:35Everything okay?
25:38Is it bad news?
25:39Oh, no.
25:41It's good.
25:43It's all good.
26:06It's all good.
26:09I'm so proud of, you know,
26:10Now everybody knows my name, no matter where I go.
26:15But I never really made it until the Johnny Carson Show.
26:22Now I have dreamed of stardom since I was just a kid
26:27A million dollar dream beneath this thirteen dollar wig
26:31In my bell-bottom jumpsuits with my rhinestones all aglow
26:35I became an overnight success from the Johnny Carson show
26:41From polyester paradise to silk and satin frills
26:45From a 48-foot mobile home to a mansion on the hill
26:51From moonshine to rare wine, from a packard to a rose
26:55But I never really made it till the Johnny Carson show
27:01Now there's only one small problem, sometimes I get disturbed
27:05And folks sometimes get me confused with Monty Rock III
27:09But still I think it's worth it and I just thought you should know
27:14That I'll always owe a special thanks to the Johnny Carson show
27:18I went from pop beats to diamonds, from car coats to fur
27:24From Kmart to Gucci's, from here no telling where
27:28From hillbilly heaven to a penthouse on the coast
27:33But I never really made it till the Johnny Carson show
27:47Sometimes I like to close my eyes
27:50And imagine what it'd be like when summer does come
27:56Here's the buzz, kids will blow dandelion fuzz
28:00And I'll be doing whatever snow does in summer
28:05I trick in my hand, my snow up against the burning sand
28:10Probably getting gorgeously tanned in summer
28:15You'll finally see a summer breeze blow away, a winter storm
28:19And find out what happens in solid water when it gets warm
28:25And I can't wait to see what my body's all think of me
28:29Just imagine how much cooler I'll be
28:32In summer, summer, summer, summer, summer, summer, summer
28:39In summer
28:55The hot and the cold are both so intense
28:58Put them together, it just makes sense
29:04Winter's a good time to stay in and cuddle
29:06But put me in summer and I'll be a happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy, happy
29:11accessible
29:11Raphael
29:12Hopi, hopi, hopi, hopi, hopi howura
29:21Hopi, hopi, hopi, hopi
29:22Hopi, hopi
29:23Hopi, hopi
29:24Hopi, hopi, hopi
29:27Neleman
29:28No man
29:28Can you get game
29:30Hopi, hopi, hopi
29:32Hopi
29:32Wind is a good time to stay in and cuddle
29:35Wind is a good time to win
29:37Fish is a good time to cuddle, cuddle, cuddle, cuddle
29:39Good night.
29:40Good night.
29:42Good night.
Comments