- 5 hours ago
LOL: Last One Laughing UK - Season 2 - Episode 06: Here Comes the Aeroplane
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00:00We started with ten comedians
00:03It's like the first day of school
00:04and just one rule
00:05do
00:06not
00:07laugh
00:10Are you doing bub alright?
00:11or burp
00:13or squirt sausages at a nice old lady
00:16Oh dear
00:17but one by one
00:19they've cracked
00:20No!
00:21Whoa, snap!
00:23Ten
00:24has become four
00:26I've gotta give you a red card
00:31His eye looks like a grape
00:32in a tumble dryer
00:40Who will go the distance
00:41and be the last one laughing?
00:44Okay, that was definitely a laugh
00:57It was turn
00:58Go!
00:58Ha ha ha!
01:19Woo-o-oooo!
01:27left so we're gonna go sudden death oh wow okay we've not got much time left if anyone laughs it's
01:36a red card oh what are you doing there jimmy i've got to go i've got to be quick hey
01:44that's very
01:45look at them gun doors doors for fuck's sake
02:00jimmy as i live and breathe
02:06do you want a hand jimmy be okay
02:15if they didn't laugh at that they're not gonna laugh at anything no no
02:21you're really happy aren't you i might just leave that there doors
02:30he's left his freaking little sofa thing
02:46did you see that i bumped into the door yeah yeah i thought i styled out
02:51it was a little panic in your voice as you went doors
02:59that was so good god damn it
03:08that was so good
03:09bob's gonna get a song is that his laptop yes
03:14love song darling yes please would you join me i'd like to tell you about my true feelings for you
03:26so just relax yeah just wrote a few words for you
03:34you are the love of my life would you one day be my wife
03:42because if you would i would give up the booze tend to your crops and sterilize your loo
03:53both of those things i would do for you because you are the love of my life
04:02you are the hobbit i adore
04:07i'll buy you meat and what's more
04:11if we were together i'd stop drinking bitter i'd polish your shoes and mend the leak in your
04:20shitter both of these things i would do for you because you are the love of my life
04:30so thank you
04:31i hope in some way that helped it did help that was very moving and i liked the way you
04:38rhymed bitter
04:39and shitter thank you that's i couldn't think of anything else i think david mitchell might be
04:45unbreakable david have you ever dropped a bible onto like a dog or something
04:55not onto a dog you're pretty certain that you've got a good grip when it's a well i'm carrying a
05:00bible
05:01yeah i think you probably do i'd probably do accord it favorite shape favorite shape square nine bits
05:07of advice nine see they're targeting david um or try and get your tax bill done early don't smoke
05:18uh don't tell people not to smoke
05:22uh learn to drive i wish i'd learned to drive do you not drive david it's not to live my
05:27friend
05:28no but that wouldn't you know a bit of practice on that wouldn't be a
05:34she went at speed do you want to have a go dave i mean quite fun is it yeah it's
05:39great david on a
05:40pool face fun isn't it it's good well that's true you know what i mean there we go there he
05:45goes
05:48i'm going very tentatively go through the gap i can't really steer right here's romesh's rap book
05:55readers okay let's have a look come on right i think david's playing a good game he's going to
06:03try to take them all out yeah it's a lovely treat isn't it that's how you dreamed of your rats
06:07when
06:07performed banned from kiss chase this is called david finding my rap book i mean even saying the words
06:15a 47 year old father of three my rap book please smash me in the face it was like somebody
06:21finding
06:21a pair of your skiddy underpants my romantic struggle started early when i was eight the
06:27whole class played kiss chase and i was banned from participating do it in a rap way though david
06:32was in a rap way
06:39my romantic struggle started early is that more rap that was deep rap yeah yeah go deep
06:45deeper dave david might go david might go my romantic struggle started early when i was eight
06:53the whole it doesn't scan it's the introduction that's not the actual you know the whole class
07:00played kiss chase and i was banned from participating mainly by the kids but the teacher admitted they had
07:05their reasons oh sorry this is just an introductory paragraph to the rap
07:13this makes a lot more sense go on dave kiss chase kiss chase please kiss my face you'll need to
07:19slow
07:20down though i'm not good in a race kiss chase please kiss me although i am smelly i struggle with
07:25bo and
07:26don't watch under my belly that was high drop sorry i'm not taking the blame for that david mitchell
07:35could read a kendrick lamar lyric and ruin it
07:38can i oh yeah hello oh hi sam uh could you get david to do his uh joker please vladimir
07:52puddin has been
07:53assassinated who it's time for david's joker my joker i think it yeah i think okay yeah okay
08:01let's go this way he's got two jokers oh my god this is so exciting do you want to have
08:09a waltz with me
08:10bob nope okay um hello uh sorry just before i start a bit of explanation about this one i've worked
08:23with
08:23a lot of stand-up comedians over the years but i've never done stand-up i feel i know you
08:28i thought this
08:29would be a very trusting environment just to try it out oh no anyway just a bit of stand-up
08:36comedy
08:37from me please go for it go for it be supportive absolutely okay quick reminder if anyone laughs
08:43red card ladies ladies and gentlemen he hasn't tried stand-up before so please give him a big hand
09:01i know what you're thinking uh david mitchell's let himself go
09:09oh is this thing on oh fuck fuck um okay yes so um
09:20i've got it uh i went uh on a dating app the other day um as a result of which
09:30my wife
09:30uh has left me uh in retrospect i i shouldn't have used her email but uh
09:37uh didn't want the spam um uh cats and dogs um so cats and dogs
09:52they're overwhelmingly similar aren't they domesticated mammalian quadrupeds the lot of them
10:00bob bob bob bob's in trouble so no no point in anthropomorphic no no one answer for more for
10:08fundamentally they're the same thing they they live in the house and they won't try to kill you
10:12oh you know although there have been terrible terrible news so let's just no move along
10:18hmm crowd work um
10:24uh where where are you from uh middlesbrough sorry no i'll keep the where where you're from
10:31middlesbrough fuckingham he said fucking him honestly what a fucking fucking him where
10:38fucking him fucking him sure it's weird are you are you together not really what are you doing with him
10:50that's going nowhere um
10:54so close to what i do though
10:59observational stuff um okay so what about what's the deal with assisted dying
11:10who wants assistance dying it's the last thing you want i mean what's next assisted stubbing your toe
11:17uh assisted being late for work assisted stepping on a plug
11:24assisted falling over assist what other bad assisted being in a traffic jam assisted food poisoning
11:36assisted getting a bag back why do people want assistance dying hmm it's a serious topic
11:47yeah no obviously you're quite right there's um they're in a lot of pain is the bottom line is it's
11:53it's no existence for some people anyway that's all i've got time for um so have a great trip back
12:00to
12:01fuckingham
12:04you idiots
12:07uh thanks you've been a great audience i'm david mitchell good night
12:14that's the closest bob's coming yeah definitely it's not alan woods yet sam's going to try and finish
12:19him off go on sam i didn't mind that i thought he was all right i enjoyed that very much
12:26he was good
12:27extremely funny yeah bright future that was right up my street and he's very good
12:37uh where are you from middlesbrough fuckingham you know it's a few wrinkles to iron out but please
12:46see i'm still there i can book i can book the o2 i think no wrinkles as far as i
12:51was concerned
12:52what sort of usually tickles your funny bird you should have asked that six hours ago shouldn't you
12:59i like innuendo like a clever innuendo well you're as dry as a divorcee's martini
13:07a what what you're as dry as a divorcee's martini why is it what's the innuendo there
13:19it's a simile yeah why would a divorcee have a particularly dry martini
13:28do you mean dry as in just sort of dry
13:38can i show you please do dave let's get let's get close i'm a bit worried
13:44what's this what's he got there's a thing on that will put it delicates on the bottom of my back
13:53mm-hmm it's changed do you want me to investigate well i've taken it i've taken a picture i just
14:00love your your opinion really i mean
14:05what do you think there's this sort of metallic blue
14:12it's sort of you see the skin around it is disrupted do you want me to have a look
14:16well just sort of zoom out a bit maybe oh actually no it's fine sorry it's a hot cross bun
14:23it's just a hot cross sorry that's not there just it's just hot cross bun sorry
14:31this is it this is it you see that's sorry that's how stupid that's just that's you see
14:36oh oh oh looks to me like you've got a luncheon meat of the back right yeah yeah
14:49bob immediately spotted it and his luncheon meat he's he's got up close with a lot of luncheon meat
14:55he's probably woken up to that view i'm so intimately involved with luncheon meats and spams
15:04that i knew straight away what i was looking at
15:11okay i'm going back in there okay i'll deal with this
15:18okay gotta get in somehow they're gonna go head to head doors
15:22hey who's in hey jimmy he's not so happy sorry uh bob mel please join me on stage for a
15:29head-to-head
15:29challenge we are going to test your knowledge of the animal kingdom what i'll let you to do is look
15:37your partner in the eye it's a game i call nature calls i'd let you to in turn look your
15:45partner in
15:45the eye and make the noise you think this animal makes mel you're to go first
15:53a coquettish bee one moment
16:06okay bob a drunk elephant
16:16god
16:18is
16:22well a mafia boss sheep
16:27bye-bye
16:30bye-fucking-bye
16:39Bob's going to go.
16:41Now they've both got twitches.
16:47Bob, a duck from Belfast.
16:49No.
16:53Crack.
17:02Crack.
17:04Sounds a bit Norwegian to me.
17:07He's been there, yeah, but he's based in Belfast.
17:11He's done the tour.
17:13Well travelled.
17:15I was thinking Dutch.
17:17That was crazy. Definitely European.
17:21Crack.
17:22That's more Oslo than Belfast. I'd need more Belfast, Bob.
17:25Crack.
17:26That's definitely more Oslo.
17:29Crack.
17:31Crack.
17:31Oh my God.
17:32How can you survive that?
17:35Okay, Mel.
17:37A Geordie monkey.
17:44Whoa-oh-oh-oh.
17:48It is very good, that is what they sound like.
17:52Oh, that is so crap.
17:56Bob, a cool goat.
18:09Yeah, that was pretty cool.
18:12Mel, a flamboyant frog.
18:14Ribbit, ribbit.
18:19Ribbit, ribbit.
18:21Ribbit.
18:21This is very naughty.
18:23Ribbit, ribbit.
18:28Ribbit, ribbit.
18:31Bob, easy one for you.
18:33A Randy Dolphin.
18:42It's very far away.
18:45Very far away.
18:47Can you come a bit closer, please?
18:49Really?
18:50No, no, the dolphin.
18:53Pardon me.
18:56You see her!
18:58What if you're staring?
18:58Yeah, baby!
19:01Guinea.
19:05labels.Connell
19:08No. No.
19:14You'd like to take your seats? We'll take a look at the clip.
19:17Having to do those animal noises at very, very close quarters with Mortimer,
19:22I think it was a quick bark of a laugh. It was a, like that.
19:26Couldn't pull it back and I knew I'd lost it then.
19:28That was extraordinarily fun.
19:30Let's take a look.
19:32A, Bob, easy one for you, a Randy Dolphin.
19:38Hi-ya, baby.
19:43Eee!
19:43Oh. Mel? I'm gone.
19:46Oh, Mel. That was a laugh disguised.
19:47It was fun, though, wasn't it? It was brilliant.
19:49I loved that every... I don't want to go.
19:53I must go. You have to go, but you've done very, very well.
19:56Please come with me. Oh, my God.
19:58And then there were three. Thanks, Mel.
20:00We honour you. OK.
20:02Guys, be strong. See you, Mel. Doors.
20:09I thought you were out first. You did so well.
20:12I honestly thought you'd be gone in seconds.
20:16Well done!
20:19You did so well.
20:21Oh, God.
20:22Brilliant. You were so brilliant.
20:24I've done something permanent.
20:25I thought you were going to win.
20:27Mel survived the drunk elephant and the duck from Belfast,
20:30but the Randy Dolphin got her.
20:32It's game over for Gedroych.
20:36You ain't laughing, are you, Sam?
20:38I don't know what's going on.
20:39I think I have found his own.
20:41But I know what you mean.
20:43Well, I guess it answers the question,
20:44how long does it take people to go utterly mad in a room?
20:47Yeah.
20:49You are the love of my life.
20:52I will treasure that.
20:54And I'll hold you to it.
20:55I'm going to ask everyone,
20:57who do you think is going to win?
20:59Sam.
21:00Sam.
21:01Sam.
21:02Sam.
21:03Sam.
21:03Sam.
21:04Everyone's saying Sam.
21:05I'm going to go David Mitchell.
21:07OK, let's restart the game.
21:08This is so fun.
21:12We're off again.
21:13OK.
21:25Do you have a special name for a wee that you do
21:29if you get up in the night?
21:31No.
21:32Not a special name.
21:35Bob's going for David now.
21:36Well, I do one regularly.
21:41Right.
21:44Could I recommend calling it a Chadwick?
21:47Chadwick's not bad.
21:48A Chadwick, yes.
21:50I'm just...
21:51Yeah, just...
21:52Sorry, I was Chadwick.
21:54Just Chadwick-ing.
21:58Bob, Jimmy.
22:09Fucking hell.
22:10I got you with Chadwick.
22:12Bob's gone.
22:13OK.
22:14Ah!
22:19Another one bites the dust.
22:21Oh, Bob.
22:22No way!
22:24Doors.
22:28Hey, Jimmy.
22:29Oh, Bob.
22:30Take a look.
22:31Could I recommend calling it a Chadwick?
22:34Chadwick's not bad.
22:35A Chadwick, yes.
22:37I'm just...
22:37Yeah, just...
22:39Sorry, I was Chadwick.
22:40Just...
22:41Just Chadwick-ing.
22:49Fucking hell.
22:51That's the way to go.
22:53The champion has been defeated.
22:55Mr Mitchell did me.
22:56Did you with your own Chadwick?
22:58I got David Mitchell talking about his early evening movement.
23:04I think he just caught me off guard.
23:07It just made me laugh.
23:08Now, one of you has got more cards for other people than the other one.
23:12We've got five minutes remaining.
23:13If neither of you laugh in the next five minutes,
23:15the person who has caused the most laughs will be the winner.
23:18The laugh assassin?
23:19The laugh assassin, yeah.
23:21Nice.
23:21Bob, come with me.
23:23Good luck, lads.
23:24Good luck to you.
23:24It's been a pleasure.
23:27Doors.
23:27I'll watch you, man.
23:28I think wherever you've been on my life.
23:30All right.
23:31Yeah, yeah, sorry, then.
23:32I mean...
23:33Yeah.
23:34You did very well again.
23:35Not so bad.
23:36Yeah, bronze.
23:37Bronze this time.
23:38Bronze.
23:39Yeah.
23:39That's good.
23:40The chat turned to late night wheeze
23:42and Bob simply couldn't hold it any longer.
23:45Our reigning champion is out.
23:48Bobby!
23:51Bob Mortimer, everyone.
23:52Bobby!
23:54Well done, Bob.
23:55Well done.
23:56Well done, mate.
23:57Thank you, Rob.
24:00Bob, come and take a seat over here.
24:02I've never been in here before.
24:04It's lovely.
24:05Nice.
24:05It's really nice.
24:06Lovely to have you.
24:07Let's restart the game.
24:09I've got this killer question I think is just going to do you,
24:11but I don't want to waste it.
24:12No, there we go.
24:19David, how many emails do you get most days?
24:22Both are so incapable of an authentic chat, aren't they?
24:26Oh, it varies.
24:28Oh, it varies.
24:28Maybe 20.
24:30Promotional or social?
24:32Oh, I don't get much spam.
24:34Mainly admin.
24:38This doesn't feel very natural conversation, does it?
24:41No, no.
24:42We're very different people.
24:44We are really different people.
24:46We're different, okay?
24:48And congrats for making it to the final two.
24:51I think it's nothing to sneeze at, you know?
24:52No.
24:52It's pretty awesome.
24:54Yeah.
24:54Yeah.
24:55No, likewise.
24:56Yeah.
24:56I think we've done, we've acquitted ourselves well.
25:00Dave might go, you know.
25:01I don't think Sam's going.
25:03Sam is invincible.
25:06I'm going back in.
25:07Go on, Jim.
25:09Let's seal the deal.
25:10Come on.
25:11What would you do if you were you?
25:12I'd do mine.
25:13I think the shouting was kind of nice.
25:14We go back to the shouting?
25:16Yeah.
25:16Okay, we've got to find a winner.
25:20Doors.
25:23They can operate that better than that puff.
25:27Hi, guys.
25:28Congratulations on making it this far.
25:31Yes.
25:31Please take a seat.
25:34As a special treat, I've got some delicious food for you.
25:38You can eat as much as you like, but there is a catch.
25:40You have to feed each other.
25:42Are you happy to do that?
25:43I'm happy to do that.
25:44Go for it.
25:45I couldn't survive this, could you?
25:47Not somebody feed him, you know.
25:49And what's the policy on feeding frenzies?
25:51Er, we're all in favour of it.
25:53Yeah, yeah.
25:54Doors.
25:55Okay.
25:57Oh, my God, there's so many items there.
26:00What would you go for?
26:00I'd go hand on a Claire.
26:03Hand feed a Claire.
26:04I think I would go a Claire and then a proper actual mush.
26:10Do you like some squirty cream?
26:12Yeah.
26:18There's a little bit, Scott.
26:20Oh, sorry.
26:20I'll just pop that back in.
26:21There we go.
26:22Shame to miss it.
26:23He's got his finger in his mouth.
26:24That can't be good, can it?
26:25I'll have a squirt.
26:27Oh, will you ever?
26:31Oh, my God.
26:32Oh, no.
26:33I would be howling, brother.
26:35I would be howling by now.
26:37Oh, God.
26:38I don't think Harry Houdini could escape these eyes.
26:41The great escape artist.
26:42So that's a great line.
26:44I mean, it's a bit dated, but.
26:47Oh, I think that's just the gas.
26:51That was like, oh.
26:52Sorry.
26:53Sorry, David.
26:54Sorry, David.
26:54Sorry.
26:55Oh, no.
26:55I can't make it stop.
26:56Sorry.
26:57Don't make it sexual.
26:58No, no, no.
26:59Whatever you do.
27:00Oh, David.
27:04Has it at all got in my beard?
27:07Just a smidgen.
27:09This is so wrong.
27:11What are we watching?
27:13Ever seen a little flick, Lady and the Trap?
27:16Oh.
27:17I think you'd have to take control of one end.
27:19Yeah, yeah.
27:19OK.
27:25Oh, my God.
27:32My mouth isn't big enough.
27:34There's always room for more.
27:35Jelly.
27:35Oh, a bit of jelly.
27:38Some not even a flicker.
27:40Right.
27:41There we go.
27:41Mmm.
27:42You've got to savour it.
27:44Does it taste funny?
27:45Does it ever?
27:46Why aren't you laughing then?
27:48David, you need to have some of this jelly.
27:50It is so good.
27:51OK.
27:51We need a really nice big bit.
27:53There we go.
27:53Nice big bit.
27:54Here he comes.
27:54Here comes the aeroplane.
27:56Oh, it's circling the runway.
27:58Oh, here we go.
27:59Uh-oh, tabulans.
28:00We're going to stay in there.
28:01This is like CCTV footage of a nursing home.
28:09Banana?
28:11You think so?
28:12Yeah, OK.
28:14They say they're easier to peel from the counterintuitive ends.
28:17I read that in the trades.
28:21That lean-in could have been amusing many hours ago.
28:23Oh, yes.
28:24But now that part of me has died.
28:26It's gone.
28:29Can I tell you this?
28:30One minute to go.
28:34Eat it.
28:45Is it banana-y?
28:46It's really good.
28:48Maybe the potassium.
28:51If you like me.
28:53Oh, yeah, I do like you.
28:54Yes.
28:56I don't want that.
28:57Because I really like you.
28:59That's right.
29:00It's starting to become something of a fascination.
29:06You want chips?
29:07No, we probably shouldn't have had dessert before the year.
29:09Well, as a savoury pudding.
29:10Yeah, of course.
29:11They're stone cold.
29:12Go on.
29:15You can't like that.
29:18OK, we're going to count down.
29:20You have 10 seconds remaining.
29:2210.
29:22OK, quick.
29:249.
29:25Oh, my days.
29:268.
29:27David.
29:297.
29:316.
29:32This has been such a nice experience.
29:355.
29:366.
29:364.
29:37How's this shit?
29:393.
29:402.
29:41I've been blowing out hard for the other edition.
29:441.
29:47Oh.
29:53Wow.
29:55Amazing.
29:56That's incredible.
30:00OK, it goes to the tiebreaker.
30:04Oh.
30:04What happened?
30:06Whoever's caused the most cards is the winner.
30:08The most laughs.
30:10Who's caused the most laughs?
30:12Is it Sam or Dave?
30:13OK.
30:14It's come down to this.
30:16A tiebreak.
30:17Doors.
30:20Hey, Jimmy.
30:21Gentlemen, if you'd like to join me on the stage.
30:25Thanks very much.
30:26You've both played an incredible game.
30:30One of you will be declared the winner of Last One Laughing.
30:35And I can tell you the person that caused the most laughs today is...
30:42Whoa, Sam!
30:48It's gone bright red.
30:51No.
30:53Yes!
31:05He's gone right red.
31:12We have a winner.
31:16Well done.
31:17Yes, well deserved.
31:18And congratulations.
31:19Let me kiss you on your shoulder.
31:23Oh, he's so sweet.
31:25Now, how do you gents feel?
31:27That was quite insane because I think we disappeared into a place where there was no laughter.
31:33I have to say, for all of the bleakness at the end, I am delighted to win.
31:38And I think that shows a want of character in me.
31:42But I was very pleased.
31:44What was the closest you came to laughing today?
31:46Alan Carr.
31:47Just when I would check him out, sometimes he would really crack me up.
31:50I came close quite a few times early.
31:53You were both absolutely unbreakable.
31:56I kept thinking this driver was telling me about we're going up in foster care.
31:59It was like really harrowing.
32:01And I've just been thinking about that to get to this place.
32:05Is David Mitchell a worthy winner?
32:06Absolutely.
32:07The guy is a pro.
32:09Roisin, come through with the others and the trophy.
32:13Oh, wow.
32:16I'm really pleased that David won.
32:18He did so much.
32:20And on the strength of his singing and dancing alone, I think he deserved it.
32:26Oh!
32:27Here they are.
32:29So fun.
32:30I've had a lovely day.
32:32I loved it.
32:33Oh, my God!
32:34It went to the Mitch.
32:36And I think he was very, very flipping solid all the way through.
32:41You're entertaining.
32:42You're making other people laugh.
32:44But you're solid yourself.
32:46Absolutely worthy of the trove.
32:49Well done.
32:50Thank you, everyone.
32:52He was funny.
32:53He was sharp.
32:55He was just really good entertainment.
32:57So I'm really pleased he won.
32:59Well done.
33:00Well done.
33:01That was Last One Laughing.
33:03Season two.
33:04David Mitchell is the winner.
33:05I mean, they're all winners.
33:07We've had a tremendous time.
33:14David's a formidable force just because of his wit and his brain.
33:18Well done, David.
33:19Nice job.
33:19It was just a terrifically funny group of people.
33:23I was honoured to be in their company, to be chosen alongside them.
33:29It would just genuinely feel, oh, this is nice.
33:34That's our show, everyone.
33:36Thanks for watching.
33:37Good night.
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